Undercovers (2010) s01e06 Episode Script
Xerxes
Just out to your right you'll see the beginnings of the Bungle Bungle Range.
They cover over 450 square kilometers.
The beehive-shaped towers were formed a few hundred million years ago.
Keep your eyes out.
You might see a mob of kangaroos.
The large male of the group, we call him a Boomer.
Sometimes they'll jump So they don't get smashed.
All right, people.
In about 20 minutes, we'll be coming up on the city of Yes, it's me.
So that thing you had me build for you, you know? I tested it.
It works.
They're all dead.
Question is how you'd like me to get it to you.
They don't feel it, Charlie.
I just can't do it.
I promise.
You just have to do it fast.
Just like ripping off a band-aid.
Give it to me.
Hey, hey, hey, has anybody seen Sam? Yeah, she said you two had a meeting with the guy from the hotel.
We do have a meeting with the guy from the hotel.
That's why I want to know where she is.
She headed that way with Lizzie.
Wait.
No Lizzie, he wrote you a song.
I know.
It wasn't very good, but still.
No, but he's a drummer, Sam.
I--I can't be that girl.
What girl? The girl that actually falls for a drummer? A drummer whose band is big in Eastern Europe? No.
It'll never work.
Liz, it's just your anticipatory anxiety kicking in.
You always do this.
Remember when you were in seventh grade and you didn't want to ask Jason Clause to the Sadie Hawkins Dance 'cause you were sure he'd say no? He did say no.
That's the whole point of anticipatory anxiety.
To prevent future pain.
Just have some fun.
Take the leap.
You'll never know if you don't try.
Is the therapy session over yet? Oh, the meeting.
Yeah.
I'm so sorry.
I totally lost track of time.
But Lizzie's not sure about this guy, and she wanted to talk.
I heard.
Take the leap, fly the coop, dance with wolves? - Are you making fun of me? - Oh, no.
Although I did hear yoda give the same advice once.
- No, really, take your time.
- Sorry about that.
Actually, it's my fault, not Steven's.
You are a team.
You are on time as a team, you are late as a team, so spare me the "I am Spartacus" bit.
This was three days ago, Western Australia.
Test run on a brand-new biological weapon on a bus full of tourists in the Outback.
The chemist suspected of creating it has gone missing.
A raid on his lab yielded evidence that he has shipped the formula for the weapon to another party.
Have you heard the name "Xerxes" before? The weapons dealer.
He never leaves his fingerprints on any deal.
That's the one.
Xerxes had this chemist make this weapon for him? Apparently so.
Problem is intel from the lab suggests that Xerxes also had the chemist embed the formula on a painting that he intends to purchase at auction.
Embed? You mean print the formula on a canvas, then paint a picture over it? Exactly.
Doesn't believe in email? Seems a little like overkill.
Xerxes has eluded international authorities for three years.
Overkill seems to be working for him.
So we go to the auction and outbid him for the painting with the formula? Contrary to public opinion, the CIA doesn't have money like that lying around.
If we did, I'd be asking for a raise.
A big one.
The auction is in Tuscany.
Once there, your mission is to find a way to identify and acquire the painting beforehand.
And apprehend Xerxes.
That would be correct.
Now, because of the exclusive nature of the event, Mrs.
Bloom will be resuming an old cover.
Amanda Yorn from the Yorn gallery in Hoxton Square.
And because we will be working in concert with MI-6 on this, you will be fully resuming your cover.
Wait, you mean That's right.
Mr.
Yorn will be there as well.
Agent Clive Garrity.
Whoa, whoa.
Hold on, people.
You did not just say the name "Clive Garrity.
" Wait, you know Clive? Oh, I know Clive.
Him and his blokes came over for specialized training in 2003.
And I don't like him.
At all.
Really? Clive? Yes, Clive.
I don't know what kind of experience you had with him, but I wouldn't trust the guy to wash my socks.
Well, he won't be washing anybody's socks this weekend.
He will be your husband and your teammate, so get over it and get to Italy.
She's married.
So what's my cover? Did you see that? I fed that lady's little Pekingese.
She didn't even give me a tip.
Does my hand smell like dogs to you? Okay.
I'm assuming that's because we're sharing a room, and not because you actually just smelled my hand.
I'm fine with the room arrangement, Hoyt.
Ooh.
Scusi.
Pardon me.
I'm happy that you're fine with it, sir.
I mean, with Mrs.
Agent Bloom playing a guest, the whole upstairs, downstairs dynamic is exactly where it should be.
I mean, obviously normally you'd be upstairs, but selfishly, this'll give us a chance to work out a little bit more, right? Work on our mentor, mentoree relationship.
Hoyt.
Thank you, sir.
You look amazing.
So do you.
But I do have a weakness for a man in uniform.
Even that one.
Hey.
There he is.
Welcome to Villa Calidori.
All right Marco.
Um, Pumpkin.
Don't worry mate.
It's just for the weekend.
You don't mind, do you? Uh, I'm gonna go see about our room.
Maybe this strapping gentleman could help you with my bag.
I don't think that one's quite up to it.
He hasn't changed a bit.
I don't know how you could be married to him.
It's just a cover, Steven.
I still don't trust him, okay? And I can tell he's loving this arrangement just a little bit too much.
I don't think that's true.
Guess who's got us the Romeo and Giulietta suite? It was me.
I'm sorry.
Was that not clear? All right, young man.
Chop, chop.
Let's get those bags up to the suite.
What happened between you two? Nothing.
Long time ago.
Well, I think he's charming.
I bet you do.
All the deliveries for the auction on the lower driveway, please.
Is this where I drop off the art? Yes, it is.
Sign here, please.
So I just dropped it off.
Imagine I'll hear from you.
Till then, thanks.
Undercovers 1x06 Xerxes - Signore? - Come in.
Oh, just throw those anywhere.
You know, you really should learn to be more gentle if you want to make a decent tip.
I'm only playing.
I wasn't really gonna tip you.
Certainly not after that performance.
Okay, look, you and I need to talk about this whole thing is gonna work, all right? Ah, well, then, look at us.
You two are married.
Three of us working together as a team.
Remind me to thank the elusive Xerxes for bringing us all together.
It would have been nice to have Steven in Cairo, don't you think? Remember when we had to jump off Wait.
Stop.
Oh, no, no, no, there's nothing to worry about.
This room's completely secure.
I had my advanced team make it like a fortress.
Swept for bugs, installed a scrambler.
Any calls in or out can't be detected.
Actually, it's not the room.
It's that Steven and I don't discuss our pasts in the field with each other.
CIA confidentiality and all that.
Oh, I get it.
How very patriotic of you.
Can we get started now? Yes.
Just waiting for Tessa.
Tessa? Hoyt, I presume? Y-yeah It's okay.
I--I think we're working together.
I'm Tessa? I work with Agent Garrity? Clive? Are you always this quiet? That's beautiful.
The pendant.
Oh.
Thank you.
Yep.
Okay.
Okay, step one, we figure out which painting holds the formula.
Step two, Hoyt and I produce a replica of that painting and swap it out with the real one before the auction, and step three, we catch Xerxes as he bids on the fake.
Now as far as step one goes, the only way to figure out which painting contains the formula is to figure out which one has the false paperwork.
And the only way to get that information is on the Director's computer, which is in her office.
And her office is located in the manor house.
Next to the pool where the reception's being held later.
Exactly, Mrs.
Agent Bloom.
And since only Clive and I will be attending the reception, we'll have the only chance to get the computer and get those files.
No worries there, then.
Just like Vienna.
Step one's as good as done.
Why don't you slow it down there, Prince Charles.
The building is off limits to guests.
You'll need Agent Bloom's help with security.
The Chief of Security is ex-Italian Secret Service, and the system is state of the art.
Pun definitely intended.
I'll coordinate with everyone through the comms while Agent Bloom takes care of the security feeds.
They'll be on to us if we kill the entire security system.
Not a problem, sir.
I've got you covered like a Chenille blanket.
Check this out.
Once you hook this up to the security system, all you have to do is draw on the monitor to create static in any security window, so the system isn't down, it's just a little buggy.
That's when Agent Garrity and Mrs.
Agent Bloom can move through unnoticed.
It's like an etch a sketch.
Uh, may I? Thank you.
Wow, this is really quite brilliant.
Thanks.
I mean, I obviously didn't invent it, but I did pack it.
Okay then.
When you two have finished oohing and aahing over the toy, me and Mrs.
Yorn need to get ready for cocktail hour.
Uh, unless you wanted to go through all of this again.
Love to go over it one more time.
Yeah, no, I was just kidding.
I'm gonna sit down.
Shall we? I remember your gallery quite well.
You and your husband's all-night openings were something of legend.
Is he here? You two are still together? Harry, really.
Still together, yes.
He's here somewhere.
So, selling, bidding? Little of everything, I suppose.
And you? Bidding.
Well, the wife is.
I just steal the paddle from her when she gets overzealous.
You know, you really should have my card.
Oh, that would be lovely.
Oh, I just need to update it with a new email.
Oh.
Oh! Oh, hello.
Thank you.
Excuse me.
Anyone interesting? Not in the least, sadly.
Boring Dutch collector.
Do you think Xerxes is here? Mingling at a cocktail party, enjoying champagne? I don't think this guy eluded Interpol for three years by wearing a "hello, my name is Xerxes" nametag at parties.
Besides, Hoyt vetted all the guests, and they check out.
Shall we see about a distraction for Mussolini up there? Already taken care of.
Just waiting for my friend over there to have a little heart scare.
Oh.
Flurazepam still your favorite? 30 milligrams.
Just enough to cause a scene.
Brilliant.
And how are the commoners doing downstairs? Hoyt, how are we doing down there? Status request received, Mrs.
Agent Bloom.
Checking now.
Agent Bloom, "A" team is wondering how you're doing.
"A" team? Maybe the "A" team wants to put down their Bellinis and come hold my flashlight.
I'll take that as a "still working.
" Agent Bloom hopes you're both enjoying the party.
Darling.
Ah.
Oh.
Darling.
Scusi.
Hoyt, they got to move in five seconds.
I'm disabling the security camera.
I'll let 'em know.
Mrs.
Agent Bloom, time to head to the Director's Office.
We're on the move.
I'm unscrambling the hallway feed.
So you really know nothing about all those years of Steven's life? He never mentioned an incident with he and I? No.
Better that way.
Of course.
These should do the job.
Hoyt, we are good to go on the Director's Office.
You're clear, Mrs.
Agent Bloom.
Get in, upload the files on the artwork, and get out.
We're clear.
Allow me.
Piece of cake.
Go, go, go.
Well, it certainly seems as if the years haven't softened his distaste for me.
Steven, that is.
Sorry.
Probably trying to focus there.
I'm in.
Starting the uplink.
The history of every painting should be in this file.
Copy that.
Uplink looks good.
It's a shame, really.
Seeing as how we're all grown up now.
I mean, who even remembers the sordid details of why someone was, say, bounced out of training? You're speaking hypothetically, right? He's totally speaking hypothetically.
I would have read about that in Agent Bloom's file, so Hoyt, what are they talking about in there? Discussing tactical options.
Discussing tactical options, sir.
You do know who you're talking to, right? Human lie detector? Now stop making up stories and put me on that channel.
I don't like the idea of Garrity alone with my wife up there.
Who knows what lies he's spreading.
You know, it's probably a better idea if I play air traffic controller here.
Blending channels is never a good idea.
Hoyt, put me on the channel.
Hold for blending, sir.
So you're telling me Steven was really kicked out of the program? Hey, honey.
What are you guys talking about up there? Steven? I knew this was a bad idea.
I'm switching back.
Is that you? Steven? Can you hear me? You must have switched the security channel.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Get out now.
They may have heard our comms.
Hoyt, get them out of there.
Guards are moving.
Get out! Get out! Get out! Wait.
Almost there.
Sam.
Steven? Here.
Okay.
Let's go.
Guys? Please tell me Hoyt and Tessa got the files? They're analyzing them right now.
Thank God.
What exactly happened? So are we just gonna pretend I didn't hear what I know I heard? I don't know what you heard.
I was busy trying to hack into the system and uplink the files when Hoyt messed up the comm.
Well, it sounded to me like you were asking questions about our past, like we didn't have an agreement about that.
Hold on.
Clive brought that up.
Not me.
Didn't seem to me like you were exactly shutting him down.
This is what I was trying to tell you about Clive.
He always has an agenda.
That's why I had Hoyt put me on the channel, because I knew-- wait, you're the reason the comms got screwed up? So you could eavesdrop? You didn't trust me? Of course I trusted you, sweetie.
I keep telling you, I don't trust him.
If it were up to me, we'd be finding Xerxes on our own.
I think you're overreacting.
- He's a great Agent, Steven.
- Oh, really? Who knows what information he has that he's not telling us.
Has he contributed one thing to this investigation? Think about it.
Oh, I'm doing just fine in case anyone was wondering.
Now, look, I know you're probably upset, but I can explain.
You've said enough.
No, no, no, but I've got a brilliant fix.
Look, your wife now knows something about your past, so how about Samantha here tells you something about hers? Tell him about Bolivia.
It's a great story.
She saved my life, et cetera.
It'll even out the score.
Clive.
I'm out of here.
I'm just trying to help.
Okay, lot number 327 decima.
Let's check you out.
Wait a second.
This is it.
Decima.
Tessa, I got it.
Okay, so Nancy's is 47364182.
And Ella's is 8533415.
Great.
I love you, too.
Okay.
Bye.
Hey.
Oh, hi.
Sorry, uh, my mom called.
That was your mom? Yeah, um, I'm taking my sisters on holiday next week, and she had to give me hotel confirmation numbers.
So nice.
Any luck yet? If by luck you mean incredible powers of hacking and deduction.
Sorry? Yeah, no, I found something.
Yep.
Decima? Yeah, it's from Roman mythology.
It means-- the second of the three fates.
I took courses in Mythology at the King's School in Gloucester.
Of course you did.
If you peer closely, it looks like there's a woman hidden there.
Yeah.
You can kind of see right there.
You should probably get back to work on that replica.
We don't have a lot of time left.
Yeah, run out of time.
Right.
So Yep.
Tessa's like an onion, sir.
The more I peel her layers, the more she makes me want to cry.
In a good way.
That's beautiful, Hoyt.
Yeah, I figured you'd like the food analogy.
Wow.
Six hours for an exact replica.
This printer's amazing.
It'll never work.
Hmm? Me and Tessa.
Not the printer.
The printer is flawless.
We live on different continents.
Out of suitcases.
Wherever we lay our hats, that's our home.
What? Sorry.
I've been listening to a lot of Motown lately.
The point is having a relationship with another Agent just isn't feasible.
You and Mrs.
Agent Bloom being the obvious exception, and so successfully the obvious exception.
Well, I'm not feeling so successful right now.
Hey, you want to talk about it? Mentor to mentoree? Okay, we're not there yet.
That's fine.
We'll get there, though.
Look, as far as Tessa goes, you'll regret it if you don't do something, okay? Go after Tessa.
When it comes to love, you just got to take a leap.
Yeah.
You won't know until you try.
That's pretty good advice.
Hey, honey.
Well, if you think about it, yoda actually is pretty smart.
This thing is ready to fly.
I'll see myself out.
Maybe check on Tessa.
I'm surprised to see a proper lady like yourself down here in steerage.
Yeah, ll, I always had this fantasy about getting it on with the help.
Mm.
I came to apologize.
I should have shut that conversation down as soon as it became about your past.
I obviously knew what I was doing, and I let it go.
It's okay.
I understand.
You do? Of course I do.
It's just as hard for me.
Especially being here with all these people who knew you back when.
It's tempting.
I know the deal we've made, but it is getting harder the more we do this.
How could I not want to know everything there is to know about the man I love? I know.
But remember, every time we go off on a mission together, we're making a past that we can talk about.
Five years from now, we'll be reminiscing about our time in Tuscany together.
I hate it that I can't sleep down here with you tonight.
Gonna be our first night in separate beds since we got married.
It's much harder being a fake wife when you have a real husband.
Well, your real husband misses you too.
So that's gonna take a while, huh? Hoyt said six hours.
Really? Really.
I hate to tire you out before you make the swap.
I'd like to see you try.
Hey.
Hey.
Perfect replica.
No one will be able to tell the difference.
This is amazing.
So we get Xerxes to bid on the fake, and then we grab him.
All right, the sun's gonna be up soon.
Hey, what do you say you and I swap this thing out, save the world from a brand-new bio weapon? Okay, I'll just-- I'll follow your lead then.
Yeah.
This is like child's play for you, sir.
According to the schematics, there's an electronic deadbolt and a motion sensor.
Move and you're dead.
Take them off premises and kill them.
I still haven't heard from them.
They should have let us know they completed the swap by now.
The auction's about to start.
We may have to take Xerxes down by ourselves.
This is really not like Steven.
I hope he's okay.
Steven's a big boy.
I'm quite sure he can take care of himself.
There's bound to be some explanation.
I don't mean to panic you, sir, but since that guy who caught us must have been Xerxes, and since Xerxes gave this guy a pretty specific plan, I'm pretty sure it ends with him killing us.
Relax, Hoyt, okay? Nobody's getting killed.
Yeah, I--I know.
I memorized your file.
I know your skills at E&E are unmatched.
I mean, I'm handcuffed next to the guy who escaped solitary confinement in a Croatian prison.
Look at me.
I couldn't be more relaxed.
Good.
Now move your hands.
Relaxed now? No way.
Decuffed by Steven Bloom.
This must be what it feels like to be blessed by the Pope.
Take the wire key I made and get mine off.
Yeah.
I got it.
Let's go.
Go Where--where are we going? We're on a moving truck.
Look, you go on the passenger side, and I go on the other side.
Got it? Yeah.
I can do that.
Just on the The passenger's side.
Just distract him for me.
Hey! Seriously? Unbelievable.
I feel like the Sundance Kid.
Which would make you Butch Cassidy.
- I got it, Hoyt.
- Yeah, no, you got it.
What's wrong? I seem to have forgotten my mobile.
I think I left it on the nightstand.
I'll just be a second.
Just hurry.
When Xerxes wins the painting, we need to be ready to apprehend him.
This could be our only chance.
Don't worry.
I'll be back in time.
Hey.
He must have left it behind when you threw him out of the truck like a rag doll.
- Just call Sam, Hoyt.
- Yeah.
The next item up for bid is lot number 327.
30x40, oil on canvas.
The bidding will open at 300,000.
Please.
300,000.
Thank you.
Hello? We didn't make the swap.
What? What happened? Hoyt and I got waylaid at gunpoint by Xerxes and some goon.
But the painting at the auction's the real one.
With the formula.
You hear me? Yes.
The real painting's still here.
The guy's in his late 40s.
6'2", blondish hair.
His accent's Dutch.
He's got to be Xerxes.
Wait, I think I saw Clive talking to someone like that at the reception.
Can you ask Clive who that is? I can't.
He's not here.
Wha--where is he? He--he went to the room to get his phone, and he hasn't come back yet.
Okay, listen, just look for the guy and stick with him.
We'll be right there.
The painting's up right now.
He's got to be there.
500,000.
Do I have 500,000? Yes.
Thank you.
It's him.
The guy from the party.
It's got to be him.
Wait, Steven, he's on the phone.
Someone's giving him instructions.
It makes sense.
Xerxes is not gonna show his face unless he has to.
700,000.
700,000 going once, going twice We're pulling into the villa right now.
We just need to change.
Sold to the gentleman.
It's over.
He won it.
I'm following him.
If he's not Xerxes, he's gonna lead us to him.
Where is he? Right there.
In line still.
I tried to trace his call to get Xerxes' location, but it's not working.
Let me see that.
The call tracing software only works in an unsecured area.
This guy's talking to someone in a seriously secure environment.
It's like an electronic fortress, which makes sense if it's Xerxes.
- Oh, no.
- What? Our room's a secure environment.
I saw Clive talking to that guy at the gala, and he never made it down to the auction.
What if Clive's on the other end of that call? That means he's Xerxes.
- I need to go and find out.
- I'll go with you.
No, that guy's about to grab the painting with the formula.
You need to stay with him.
We can't risk him escaping with it.
Where the hell is he going? - Come on.
- Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Clive.
What? What did you say? I caught her on the phone.
Who? Caught who? Tessa Is Xerxes.
Yes, it's the Romeo and Giulietta suite.
Entrance wound is in the upper abdomen.
Pulse is thready, lungs appear to be intact, but you need to get here fast.
What the hell is going on? Where are you? I have the formula.
Actually, you don't.
Sorry.
Plans have changed.
I don't know what the hell just happened, but the painting's gone.
It just blew up.
And so did the guy.
Once she knew we discovered which painting had the embedded formula, she must have switched it out before the auction.
What are you talking about? Who switched them out? Tessa.
She's Xerxes.
Clive discovered her.
She shot him.
Tessa? Tessa? I came here to tell you we're turning the case over to the Brits.
We are supposed to stand by and let MI-6 just shut the door on us? I'll be briefing their station chief tonight.
They'll do independent damage assessment to make sure no news of Tessa leaks.
They'll follow up on Agent Garrity's findings, and of course he'll be involved, once he's back on his feet.
What about the formula? For all we know, there's some terrorist in a lab somewhere planning a major attack.
Do we know anything about a possible buyer? Not yet, but they'll take care of it.
They ask that we forget it ever happened.
A fellow Agent almost died in my arms that's not something I an on forgetting.
They were the ones letting Tessa operate right under their noses.
Apparently she used assignments and vacations to meet with perspective clients and complete her deal.
Wait a second.
I heard Tessa on the phone getting confirmation numbers for a trip.
She was going on vacation with her sisters.
You sure you heard that right? According to our files, Tessa has no siblings.
She definitely said her sisters.
Ella and Nancy.
You don't remember those numbers, do you? Come on, of course I , sir.
I was gonna take the leap, remember? I figured if I could locate her hotel, I can send her some flowers, or a little bit of good, old-fashioned bill Hoyt himself.
Give me those numbers.
I'll pass 'em on to the Brits for further assessment.
They may lead to the buyer.
Okay, Ella's was, um, Nancy's 4736, uh, 4182.
How many digits did you just say? Yes, eight and seven, right? Run a GPS program and type in the location coordinates.
Location coordinates.
Nice.
What location coordinates? Ella is east and Nancy is north.
You guys are unbelievable.
Hong Kong.
The White Crane Men's Club.
That's where you'll find the buyer.
And get your chance to say a proper good-bye to Tessa.
Cool how that works, huh? Who are you? How did you get in here? I don't know what that means, but your boys are taking five.
Sit down.
I'm taking the painting.
You are making a big mistake.
Yeah? Where is she? I said, "where is she?" Xerxes.
Parlor across from Plaza.
Waiting for my money.
Hey, can I take point on this one? She's all yours.
Go ahead.
She must have gone out the back.
I'll go this way.
I'll take the street.
Hey! She's coming right to you, honey.
Unh! I got this.
You know, if you weren't a wanted weapons dealer, we could have had a pretty incredible future.
Let's go.
It was 2003.
We were in Boston.
Cambridge, actually.
Clive and I.
Wait, what are you doing? I don't think it's fair you only heard Clive's side of the story.
Steven, it's over.
Forget about it.
I can't.
Look, I know we said focus on the future, the past is the past.
I want to tell my side.
Are you sure? After everything we've talked about, you really want to open this door? No, I don't.
That's why this is it.
Then the door closes again.
Immediately.
Okay? Okay.
All right.
It was a very elite psy-ops training program.
Highly classified.
Only ten of us qualified.
Clive and two of his MI-6 buddies were there.
So one day our instructor was meeting this girl.
I'm not so sure I like this story.
I wanted to know who she was.
So I hacked into the CIA database to get the list of his students and find her name.
But Clive knew about it, he told the instructor, and I got kicked out.
Over some girl? She wasn't just some girl.
I married her.
But that's impossible.
We met at headquarters the next spring.
Why do you think I was at headquarters the next spring? So you saw me before that and didn't say anything? You risked your standing in an elite program to hack into a classified CIA database just to find out my name? Yeah, pretty much.
So was it worth it? Definitely.
They cover over 450 square kilometers.
The beehive-shaped towers were formed a few hundred million years ago.
Keep your eyes out.
You might see a mob of kangaroos.
The large male of the group, we call him a Boomer.
Sometimes they'll jump So they don't get smashed.
All right, people.
In about 20 minutes, we'll be coming up on the city of Yes, it's me.
So that thing you had me build for you, you know? I tested it.
It works.
They're all dead.
Question is how you'd like me to get it to you.
They don't feel it, Charlie.
I just can't do it.
I promise.
You just have to do it fast.
Just like ripping off a band-aid.
Give it to me.
Hey, hey, hey, has anybody seen Sam? Yeah, she said you two had a meeting with the guy from the hotel.
We do have a meeting with the guy from the hotel.
That's why I want to know where she is.
She headed that way with Lizzie.
Wait.
No Lizzie, he wrote you a song.
I know.
It wasn't very good, but still.
No, but he's a drummer, Sam.
I--I can't be that girl.
What girl? The girl that actually falls for a drummer? A drummer whose band is big in Eastern Europe? No.
It'll never work.
Liz, it's just your anticipatory anxiety kicking in.
You always do this.
Remember when you were in seventh grade and you didn't want to ask Jason Clause to the Sadie Hawkins Dance 'cause you were sure he'd say no? He did say no.
That's the whole point of anticipatory anxiety.
To prevent future pain.
Just have some fun.
Take the leap.
You'll never know if you don't try.
Is the therapy session over yet? Oh, the meeting.
Yeah.
I'm so sorry.
I totally lost track of time.
But Lizzie's not sure about this guy, and she wanted to talk.
I heard.
Take the leap, fly the coop, dance with wolves? - Are you making fun of me? - Oh, no.
Although I did hear yoda give the same advice once.
- No, really, take your time.
- Sorry about that.
Actually, it's my fault, not Steven's.
You are a team.
You are on time as a team, you are late as a team, so spare me the "I am Spartacus" bit.
This was three days ago, Western Australia.
Test run on a brand-new biological weapon on a bus full of tourists in the Outback.
The chemist suspected of creating it has gone missing.
A raid on his lab yielded evidence that he has shipped the formula for the weapon to another party.
Have you heard the name "Xerxes" before? The weapons dealer.
He never leaves his fingerprints on any deal.
That's the one.
Xerxes had this chemist make this weapon for him? Apparently so.
Problem is intel from the lab suggests that Xerxes also had the chemist embed the formula on a painting that he intends to purchase at auction.
Embed? You mean print the formula on a canvas, then paint a picture over it? Exactly.
Doesn't believe in email? Seems a little like overkill.
Xerxes has eluded international authorities for three years.
Overkill seems to be working for him.
So we go to the auction and outbid him for the painting with the formula? Contrary to public opinion, the CIA doesn't have money like that lying around.
If we did, I'd be asking for a raise.
A big one.
The auction is in Tuscany.
Once there, your mission is to find a way to identify and acquire the painting beforehand.
And apprehend Xerxes.
That would be correct.
Now, because of the exclusive nature of the event, Mrs.
Bloom will be resuming an old cover.
Amanda Yorn from the Yorn gallery in Hoxton Square.
And because we will be working in concert with MI-6 on this, you will be fully resuming your cover.
Wait, you mean That's right.
Mr.
Yorn will be there as well.
Agent Clive Garrity.
Whoa, whoa.
Hold on, people.
You did not just say the name "Clive Garrity.
" Wait, you know Clive? Oh, I know Clive.
Him and his blokes came over for specialized training in 2003.
And I don't like him.
At all.
Really? Clive? Yes, Clive.
I don't know what kind of experience you had with him, but I wouldn't trust the guy to wash my socks.
Well, he won't be washing anybody's socks this weekend.
He will be your husband and your teammate, so get over it and get to Italy.
She's married.
So what's my cover? Did you see that? I fed that lady's little Pekingese.
She didn't even give me a tip.
Does my hand smell like dogs to you? Okay.
I'm assuming that's because we're sharing a room, and not because you actually just smelled my hand.
I'm fine with the room arrangement, Hoyt.
Ooh.
Scusi.
Pardon me.
I'm happy that you're fine with it, sir.
I mean, with Mrs.
Agent Bloom playing a guest, the whole upstairs, downstairs dynamic is exactly where it should be.
I mean, obviously normally you'd be upstairs, but selfishly, this'll give us a chance to work out a little bit more, right? Work on our mentor, mentoree relationship.
Hoyt.
Thank you, sir.
You look amazing.
So do you.
But I do have a weakness for a man in uniform.
Even that one.
Hey.
There he is.
Welcome to Villa Calidori.
All right Marco.
Um, Pumpkin.
Don't worry mate.
It's just for the weekend.
You don't mind, do you? Uh, I'm gonna go see about our room.
Maybe this strapping gentleman could help you with my bag.
I don't think that one's quite up to it.
He hasn't changed a bit.
I don't know how you could be married to him.
It's just a cover, Steven.
I still don't trust him, okay? And I can tell he's loving this arrangement just a little bit too much.
I don't think that's true.
Guess who's got us the Romeo and Giulietta suite? It was me.
I'm sorry.
Was that not clear? All right, young man.
Chop, chop.
Let's get those bags up to the suite.
What happened between you two? Nothing.
Long time ago.
Well, I think he's charming.
I bet you do.
All the deliveries for the auction on the lower driveway, please.
Is this where I drop off the art? Yes, it is.
Sign here, please.
So I just dropped it off.
Imagine I'll hear from you.
Till then, thanks.
Undercovers 1x06 Xerxes - Signore? - Come in.
Oh, just throw those anywhere.
You know, you really should learn to be more gentle if you want to make a decent tip.
I'm only playing.
I wasn't really gonna tip you.
Certainly not after that performance.
Okay, look, you and I need to talk about this whole thing is gonna work, all right? Ah, well, then, look at us.
You two are married.
Three of us working together as a team.
Remind me to thank the elusive Xerxes for bringing us all together.
It would have been nice to have Steven in Cairo, don't you think? Remember when we had to jump off Wait.
Stop.
Oh, no, no, no, there's nothing to worry about.
This room's completely secure.
I had my advanced team make it like a fortress.
Swept for bugs, installed a scrambler.
Any calls in or out can't be detected.
Actually, it's not the room.
It's that Steven and I don't discuss our pasts in the field with each other.
CIA confidentiality and all that.
Oh, I get it.
How very patriotic of you.
Can we get started now? Yes.
Just waiting for Tessa.
Tessa? Hoyt, I presume? Y-yeah It's okay.
I--I think we're working together.
I'm Tessa? I work with Agent Garrity? Clive? Are you always this quiet? That's beautiful.
The pendant.
Oh.
Thank you.
Yep.
Okay.
Okay, step one, we figure out which painting holds the formula.
Step two, Hoyt and I produce a replica of that painting and swap it out with the real one before the auction, and step three, we catch Xerxes as he bids on the fake.
Now as far as step one goes, the only way to figure out which painting contains the formula is to figure out which one has the false paperwork.
And the only way to get that information is on the Director's computer, which is in her office.
And her office is located in the manor house.
Next to the pool where the reception's being held later.
Exactly, Mrs.
Agent Bloom.
And since only Clive and I will be attending the reception, we'll have the only chance to get the computer and get those files.
No worries there, then.
Just like Vienna.
Step one's as good as done.
Why don't you slow it down there, Prince Charles.
The building is off limits to guests.
You'll need Agent Bloom's help with security.
The Chief of Security is ex-Italian Secret Service, and the system is state of the art.
Pun definitely intended.
I'll coordinate with everyone through the comms while Agent Bloom takes care of the security feeds.
They'll be on to us if we kill the entire security system.
Not a problem, sir.
I've got you covered like a Chenille blanket.
Check this out.
Once you hook this up to the security system, all you have to do is draw on the monitor to create static in any security window, so the system isn't down, it's just a little buggy.
That's when Agent Garrity and Mrs.
Agent Bloom can move through unnoticed.
It's like an etch a sketch.
Uh, may I? Thank you.
Wow, this is really quite brilliant.
Thanks.
I mean, I obviously didn't invent it, but I did pack it.
Okay then.
When you two have finished oohing and aahing over the toy, me and Mrs.
Yorn need to get ready for cocktail hour.
Uh, unless you wanted to go through all of this again.
Love to go over it one more time.
Yeah, no, I was just kidding.
I'm gonna sit down.
Shall we? I remember your gallery quite well.
You and your husband's all-night openings were something of legend.
Is he here? You two are still together? Harry, really.
Still together, yes.
He's here somewhere.
So, selling, bidding? Little of everything, I suppose.
And you? Bidding.
Well, the wife is.
I just steal the paddle from her when she gets overzealous.
You know, you really should have my card.
Oh, that would be lovely.
Oh, I just need to update it with a new email.
Oh.
Oh! Oh, hello.
Thank you.
Excuse me.
Anyone interesting? Not in the least, sadly.
Boring Dutch collector.
Do you think Xerxes is here? Mingling at a cocktail party, enjoying champagne? I don't think this guy eluded Interpol for three years by wearing a "hello, my name is Xerxes" nametag at parties.
Besides, Hoyt vetted all the guests, and they check out.
Shall we see about a distraction for Mussolini up there? Already taken care of.
Just waiting for my friend over there to have a little heart scare.
Oh.
Flurazepam still your favorite? 30 milligrams.
Just enough to cause a scene.
Brilliant.
And how are the commoners doing downstairs? Hoyt, how are we doing down there? Status request received, Mrs.
Agent Bloom.
Checking now.
Agent Bloom, "A" team is wondering how you're doing.
"A" team? Maybe the "A" team wants to put down their Bellinis and come hold my flashlight.
I'll take that as a "still working.
" Agent Bloom hopes you're both enjoying the party.
Darling.
Ah.
Oh.
Darling.
Scusi.
Hoyt, they got to move in five seconds.
I'm disabling the security camera.
I'll let 'em know.
Mrs.
Agent Bloom, time to head to the Director's Office.
We're on the move.
I'm unscrambling the hallway feed.
So you really know nothing about all those years of Steven's life? He never mentioned an incident with he and I? No.
Better that way.
Of course.
These should do the job.
Hoyt, we are good to go on the Director's Office.
You're clear, Mrs.
Agent Bloom.
Get in, upload the files on the artwork, and get out.
We're clear.
Allow me.
Piece of cake.
Go, go, go.
Well, it certainly seems as if the years haven't softened his distaste for me.
Steven, that is.
Sorry.
Probably trying to focus there.
I'm in.
Starting the uplink.
The history of every painting should be in this file.
Copy that.
Uplink looks good.
It's a shame, really.
Seeing as how we're all grown up now.
I mean, who even remembers the sordid details of why someone was, say, bounced out of training? You're speaking hypothetically, right? He's totally speaking hypothetically.
I would have read about that in Agent Bloom's file, so Hoyt, what are they talking about in there? Discussing tactical options.
Discussing tactical options, sir.
You do know who you're talking to, right? Human lie detector? Now stop making up stories and put me on that channel.
I don't like the idea of Garrity alone with my wife up there.
Who knows what lies he's spreading.
You know, it's probably a better idea if I play air traffic controller here.
Blending channels is never a good idea.
Hoyt, put me on the channel.
Hold for blending, sir.
So you're telling me Steven was really kicked out of the program? Hey, honey.
What are you guys talking about up there? Steven? I knew this was a bad idea.
I'm switching back.
Is that you? Steven? Can you hear me? You must have switched the security channel.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Get out now.
They may have heard our comms.
Hoyt, get them out of there.
Guards are moving.
Get out! Get out! Get out! Wait.
Almost there.
Sam.
Steven? Here.
Okay.
Let's go.
Guys? Please tell me Hoyt and Tessa got the files? They're analyzing them right now.
Thank God.
What exactly happened? So are we just gonna pretend I didn't hear what I know I heard? I don't know what you heard.
I was busy trying to hack into the system and uplink the files when Hoyt messed up the comm.
Well, it sounded to me like you were asking questions about our past, like we didn't have an agreement about that.
Hold on.
Clive brought that up.
Not me.
Didn't seem to me like you were exactly shutting him down.
This is what I was trying to tell you about Clive.
He always has an agenda.
That's why I had Hoyt put me on the channel, because I knew-- wait, you're the reason the comms got screwed up? So you could eavesdrop? You didn't trust me? Of course I trusted you, sweetie.
I keep telling you, I don't trust him.
If it were up to me, we'd be finding Xerxes on our own.
I think you're overreacting.
- He's a great Agent, Steven.
- Oh, really? Who knows what information he has that he's not telling us.
Has he contributed one thing to this investigation? Think about it.
Oh, I'm doing just fine in case anyone was wondering.
Now, look, I know you're probably upset, but I can explain.
You've said enough.
No, no, no, but I've got a brilliant fix.
Look, your wife now knows something about your past, so how about Samantha here tells you something about hers? Tell him about Bolivia.
It's a great story.
She saved my life, et cetera.
It'll even out the score.
Clive.
I'm out of here.
I'm just trying to help.
Okay, lot number 327 decima.
Let's check you out.
Wait a second.
This is it.
Decima.
Tessa, I got it.
Okay, so Nancy's is 47364182.
And Ella's is 8533415.
Great.
I love you, too.
Okay.
Bye.
Hey.
Oh, hi.
Sorry, uh, my mom called.
That was your mom? Yeah, um, I'm taking my sisters on holiday next week, and she had to give me hotel confirmation numbers.
So nice.
Any luck yet? If by luck you mean incredible powers of hacking and deduction.
Sorry? Yeah, no, I found something.
Yep.
Decima? Yeah, it's from Roman mythology.
It means-- the second of the three fates.
I took courses in Mythology at the King's School in Gloucester.
Of course you did.
If you peer closely, it looks like there's a woman hidden there.
Yeah.
You can kind of see right there.
You should probably get back to work on that replica.
We don't have a lot of time left.
Yeah, run out of time.
Right.
So Yep.
Tessa's like an onion, sir.
The more I peel her layers, the more she makes me want to cry.
In a good way.
That's beautiful, Hoyt.
Yeah, I figured you'd like the food analogy.
Wow.
Six hours for an exact replica.
This printer's amazing.
It'll never work.
Hmm? Me and Tessa.
Not the printer.
The printer is flawless.
We live on different continents.
Out of suitcases.
Wherever we lay our hats, that's our home.
What? Sorry.
I've been listening to a lot of Motown lately.
The point is having a relationship with another Agent just isn't feasible.
You and Mrs.
Agent Bloom being the obvious exception, and so successfully the obvious exception.
Well, I'm not feeling so successful right now.
Hey, you want to talk about it? Mentor to mentoree? Okay, we're not there yet.
That's fine.
We'll get there, though.
Look, as far as Tessa goes, you'll regret it if you don't do something, okay? Go after Tessa.
When it comes to love, you just got to take a leap.
Yeah.
You won't know until you try.
That's pretty good advice.
Hey, honey.
Well, if you think about it, yoda actually is pretty smart.
This thing is ready to fly.
I'll see myself out.
Maybe check on Tessa.
I'm surprised to see a proper lady like yourself down here in steerage.
Yeah, ll, I always had this fantasy about getting it on with the help.
Mm.
I came to apologize.
I should have shut that conversation down as soon as it became about your past.
I obviously knew what I was doing, and I let it go.
It's okay.
I understand.
You do? Of course I do.
It's just as hard for me.
Especially being here with all these people who knew you back when.
It's tempting.
I know the deal we've made, but it is getting harder the more we do this.
How could I not want to know everything there is to know about the man I love? I know.
But remember, every time we go off on a mission together, we're making a past that we can talk about.
Five years from now, we'll be reminiscing about our time in Tuscany together.
I hate it that I can't sleep down here with you tonight.
Gonna be our first night in separate beds since we got married.
It's much harder being a fake wife when you have a real husband.
Well, your real husband misses you too.
So that's gonna take a while, huh? Hoyt said six hours.
Really? Really.
I hate to tire you out before you make the swap.
I'd like to see you try.
Hey.
Hey.
Perfect replica.
No one will be able to tell the difference.
This is amazing.
So we get Xerxes to bid on the fake, and then we grab him.
All right, the sun's gonna be up soon.
Hey, what do you say you and I swap this thing out, save the world from a brand-new bio weapon? Okay, I'll just-- I'll follow your lead then.
Yeah.
This is like child's play for you, sir.
According to the schematics, there's an electronic deadbolt and a motion sensor.
Move and you're dead.
Take them off premises and kill them.
I still haven't heard from them.
They should have let us know they completed the swap by now.
The auction's about to start.
We may have to take Xerxes down by ourselves.
This is really not like Steven.
I hope he's okay.
Steven's a big boy.
I'm quite sure he can take care of himself.
There's bound to be some explanation.
I don't mean to panic you, sir, but since that guy who caught us must have been Xerxes, and since Xerxes gave this guy a pretty specific plan, I'm pretty sure it ends with him killing us.
Relax, Hoyt, okay? Nobody's getting killed.
Yeah, I--I know.
I memorized your file.
I know your skills at E&E are unmatched.
I mean, I'm handcuffed next to the guy who escaped solitary confinement in a Croatian prison.
Look at me.
I couldn't be more relaxed.
Good.
Now move your hands.
Relaxed now? No way.
Decuffed by Steven Bloom.
This must be what it feels like to be blessed by the Pope.
Take the wire key I made and get mine off.
Yeah.
I got it.
Let's go.
Go Where--where are we going? We're on a moving truck.
Look, you go on the passenger side, and I go on the other side.
Got it? Yeah.
I can do that.
Just on the The passenger's side.
Just distract him for me.
Hey! Seriously? Unbelievable.
I feel like the Sundance Kid.
Which would make you Butch Cassidy.
- I got it, Hoyt.
- Yeah, no, you got it.
What's wrong? I seem to have forgotten my mobile.
I think I left it on the nightstand.
I'll just be a second.
Just hurry.
When Xerxes wins the painting, we need to be ready to apprehend him.
This could be our only chance.
Don't worry.
I'll be back in time.
Hey.
He must have left it behind when you threw him out of the truck like a rag doll.
- Just call Sam, Hoyt.
- Yeah.
The next item up for bid is lot number 327.
30x40, oil on canvas.
The bidding will open at 300,000.
Please.
300,000.
Thank you.
Hello? We didn't make the swap.
What? What happened? Hoyt and I got waylaid at gunpoint by Xerxes and some goon.
But the painting at the auction's the real one.
With the formula.
You hear me? Yes.
The real painting's still here.
The guy's in his late 40s.
6'2", blondish hair.
His accent's Dutch.
He's got to be Xerxes.
Wait, I think I saw Clive talking to someone like that at the reception.
Can you ask Clive who that is? I can't.
He's not here.
Wha--where is he? He--he went to the room to get his phone, and he hasn't come back yet.
Okay, listen, just look for the guy and stick with him.
We'll be right there.
The painting's up right now.
He's got to be there.
500,000.
Do I have 500,000? Yes.
Thank you.
It's him.
The guy from the party.
It's got to be him.
Wait, Steven, he's on the phone.
Someone's giving him instructions.
It makes sense.
Xerxes is not gonna show his face unless he has to.
700,000.
700,000 going once, going twice We're pulling into the villa right now.
We just need to change.
Sold to the gentleman.
It's over.
He won it.
I'm following him.
If he's not Xerxes, he's gonna lead us to him.
Where is he? Right there.
In line still.
I tried to trace his call to get Xerxes' location, but it's not working.
Let me see that.
The call tracing software only works in an unsecured area.
This guy's talking to someone in a seriously secure environment.
It's like an electronic fortress, which makes sense if it's Xerxes.
- Oh, no.
- What? Our room's a secure environment.
I saw Clive talking to that guy at the gala, and he never made it down to the auction.
What if Clive's on the other end of that call? That means he's Xerxes.
- I need to go and find out.
- I'll go with you.
No, that guy's about to grab the painting with the formula.
You need to stay with him.
We can't risk him escaping with it.
Where the hell is he going? - Come on.
- Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Clive.
What? What did you say? I caught her on the phone.
Who? Caught who? Tessa Is Xerxes.
Yes, it's the Romeo and Giulietta suite.
Entrance wound is in the upper abdomen.
Pulse is thready, lungs appear to be intact, but you need to get here fast.
What the hell is going on? Where are you? I have the formula.
Actually, you don't.
Sorry.
Plans have changed.
I don't know what the hell just happened, but the painting's gone.
It just blew up.
And so did the guy.
Once she knew we discovered which painting had the embedded formula, she must have switched it out before the auction.
What are you talking about? Who switched them out? Tessa.
She's Xerxes.
Clive discovered her.
She shot him.
Tessa? Tessa? I came here to tell you we're turning the case over to the Brits.
We are supposed to stand by and let MI-6 just shut the door on us? I'll be briefing their station chief tonight.
They'll do independent damage assessment to make sure no news of Tessa leaks.
They'll follow up on Agent Garrity's findings, and of course he'll be involved, once he's back on his feet.
What about the formula? For all we know, there's some terrorist in a lab somewhere planning a major attack.
Do we know anything about a possible buyer? Not yet, but they'll take care of it.
They ask that we forget it ever happened.
A fellow Agent almost died in my arms that's not something I an on forgetting.
They were the ones letting Tessa operate right under their noses.
Apparently she used assignments and vacations to meet with perspective clients and complete her deal.
Wait a second.
I heard Tessa on the phone getting confirmation numbers for a trip.
She was going on vacation with her sisters.
You sure you heard that right? According to our files, Tessa has no siblings.
She definitely said her sisters.
Ella and Nancy.
You don't remember those numbers, do you? Come on, of course I , sir.
I was gonna take the leap, remember? I figured if I could locate her hotel, I can send her some flowers, or a little bit of good, old-fashioned bill Hoyt himself.
Give me those numbers.
I'll pass 'em on to the Brits for further assessment.
They may lead to the buyer.
Okay, Ella's was, um, Nancy's 4736, uh, 4182.
How many digits did you just say? Yes, eight and seven, right? Run a GPS program and type in the location coordinates.
Location coordinates.
Nice.
What location coordinates? Ella is east and Nancy is north.
You guys are unbelievable.
Hong Kong.
The White Crane Men's Club.
That's where you'll find the buyer.
And get your chance to say a proper good-bye to Tessa.
Cool how that works, huh? Who are you? How did you get in here? I don't know what that means, but your boys are taking five.
Sit down.
I'm taking the painting.
You are making a big mistake.
Yeah? Where is she? I said, "where is she?" Xerxes.
Parlor across from Plaza.
Waiting for my money.
Hey, can I take point on this one? She's all yours.
Go ahead.
She must have gone out the back.
I'll go this way.
I'll take the street.
Hey! She's coming right to you, honey.
Unh! I got this.
You know, if you weren't a wanted weapons dealer, we could have had a pretty incredible future.
Let's go.
It was 2003.
We were in Boston.
Cambridge, actually.
Clive and I.
Wait, what are you doing? I don't think it's fair you only heard Clive's side of the story.
Steven, it's over.
Forget about it.
I can't.
Look, I know we said focus on the future, the past is the past.
I want to tell my side.
Are you sure? After everything we've talked about, you really want to open this door? No, I don't.
That's why this is it.
Then the door closes again.
Immediately.
Okay? Okay.
All right.
It was a very elite psy-ops training program.
Highly classified.
Only ten of us qualified.
Clive and two of his MI-6 buddies were there.
So one day our instructor was meeting this girl.
I'm not so sure I like this story.
I wanted to know who she was.
So I hacked into the CIA database to get the list of his students and find her name.
But Clive knew about it, he told the instructor, and I got kicked out.
Over some girl? She wasn't just some girl.
I married her.
But that's impossible.
We met at headquarters the next spring.
Why do you think I was at headquarters the next spring? So you saw me before that and didn't say anything? You risked your standing in an elite program to hack into a classified CIA database just to find out my name? Yeah, pretty much.
So was it worth it? Definitely.