Up Here (2023) s01e06 Episode Script
Armor
1
In all this crazy world ♪
There's one thing I am certain of ♪
For every hour and month and
year that we are here to love ♪
Regardless of how much ♪
We talk, we tell, we touch ♪
No matter what we suffer thorough ♪
- I can never know you ♪
- I can never know you ♪
[VOICES HARMONIZING]
Excuse me.
I really hope Derek didn't mess
things up for you. With your job?
No, not at all.
I'll make it up to them
once I land this client.
- Is, um, is this the juice guy?
- Yeah.
I just have to put together
a good investor presentation,
and, and if he likes it, then
Free juice for life?
- Free juice for life.
- [BOTH CHUCKLING]
I had a really great time
with you this weekend.
Me too.
And I'm really grateful
that you said what you said
because I wasn't brave enough
to be the first one to say it.
Now, I kind of feel like we
could tell each other anything,
and that's really cool.
- You can't trust anything
she says. Proven fact.
You should never have been the
first one to say the thing.
- "I love you."
- We don't have to repeat it.
You're rushing into this.
- What're you thinkin' about?
- Nothing.
ORSON: Now she knows
how fuckin' weak you are.
Nothing at all? Just no thoughts?
- ORSON: Oh, she's gonna eat you alive!
- Just blank.
- Hm.
- Yeah.
Seriously I'm, I'm good.
[UPTEMPO MUSIC PLAYING]
I'm not rushing into anything.
I know exactly what I'm doing.
♪
Fallin' in love does
not have to hurt ♪
Don't try too hard or overexert ♪
Savor the sun, stay out of the rain ♪
That's falling in love without pain ♪
♪
Fallin' in love is easy as pie ♪
Don't go too low and
don't get too high ♪
Share a good time
without baring your soul ♪
That's falling in love in control ♪
♪
Poets and rockstars and
every Valentine's card ♪
They all sing of leaping or
hurtling or falling too hard ♪
Yeah, well, that's one way to do it ♪
But having been through it ♪
I'd like to keep one hand on guard ♪
'Cause falling in love
is like placing a bet ♪
How much you put in
affects how much you get ♪
I've been burned before,
so this time I'll choose ♪
To only put in what
I'm willing to lose ♪
Low stakes, no mess,
and I guess I'm okay ♪
With fallin' in love ♪
Falling in love ♪
Falling in love ♪
Halfway ♪
♪
Everything all right?
Uh, yeah. I'm just
feeling a little stuck.
I've been tryna figure out the
ending of this book for two weeks now.
I could help if you let me read it.
I don't want you to see any
of it until it's actually
- Until it's perfect?
- No.
Mediocre is what I was
going for, actually.
Hey you know you don't have to go.
[SIGHS] I have the
presentation tomorrow,
and I've already spent the
night three nights this week, so.
Huh didn't realize
you were keeping count.
Okay. I was joking.
How 'bout I, uh, give
you a call tomorrow?
- Bye.
- Bye.
[DOOR CLOSES]
[DOOR OPENS]
[FOOTSTEPS THUMPING] [RUMMAGING]
Ah! What's going on?!
Get your shit! We have to go. Right now.
- Dave's back.
- Who-who's Dave?
Dave lives here. He owns this place.
- I didn't know we were subletting.
- We aren't.
Where the fuck is my diaphragm?
It never felt like an illegal squat,
but I guess that's
neither here nor there.
Yeah, squatting's sort of
independent of your feelings.
I-I promise I'm gonna start
looking for my own place right away.
There's no rush.
- Wow! Your room is so cute.
- Thanks.
Uh, that wasn't a compliment, dude.
Yeah. No woman wants to fuck a
grown man with a cute bedroom.
You need to get her the fuck outta here
before she sees all
your humiliating shit.
Ah this must be the infamous Yogurt.
- Hi! Oh! Oh, my God!
- No, no. I wouldn't
- Yeah.
- [GROWLING]
- Good boy.
- Yeah, he's not great with people.
- Hey, it's okay. You're okay.
- Sorry.
MIGUEL: There you go.
What's this? Like a
little inspiration wall?
- Uh
- Yeah, I'm dyin' to hear you explain this shit.
No, tho-those are just
pictures that I, um
- ORSON: You what?
- that I found.
Yeah, I, I just I like, I like
the way they look together, so I
Is that an office?
That's the Corinthian.
- It's, um, it's a condo.
- It's kinda sterile.
Well, it has great amenities.
- What, what are these?
- Oh, great!
She found your dungeons and dork shit.
- Uh
- ORSON: Fuck!
Those are just from my old job.
- I drew them.
- ORSON: Game over, man!
You, you drew these?
Yeah, I, I thought I told
you I worked in video games.
Yeah, uh, but I just
assumed you did, like,
video game finances or something.
I I didn't know you were an artist.
Well, it-it's not actually art.
That's just what they call it.
- But it's
- I love this guy.
Oh, no, no! She found the wizard.
Ah, there's no goin' back from this.
- What's his name?
- BOTH: Cyprian.
And he's a wizard?
A sixth-level sorcerer with
ninth-level powers of necromancy.
He's Yeah, he's basically a wizard.
You never told me about any of
this. I didn't even know you drew.
Well it was a long time ago.
Oh, he's a magnificent artist.
And the things he would
do with papier-mâché.
Oh! Talk about a wizard.
So, you gave up all
this to do banking?
Well, he wasn't gonna draw
video games for his entire life.
He has goals. He has
things to accomplish.
I couldn't just do concept art forever.
I have goals.
It's just
It wasn't me anymore.
♪
[CHILD COUGHING]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[CLEARS THROAT] Hi, hi, hi, hi!
[CHUCKLES] Hi, friends. Hi.
Okay, so I know we're all
waiting on Xander Duggins,
and he should be arriving at any moment,
but in the meantime,
how would you guys like
to be part of a focus group
for a brand new, as-yet-unpublished,
work-in-progress story
about a fun friend
named Squid the Squirrel
who's tryna figure out who she really
is and where she really belongs.
[CROWD MURMURING]
Great. So there's no illustrations yet,
so we're just gonna have
to use our imaginations,
but, hey, that's twice
the fun. Am I right?
With the growth levels we're targeting,
even after you factor
in for supply volatility,
with the three Ps:
Pineapple, Papaya,
Passion fruit I, uh,
uh, yeah, I have a question.
Well, we're actually, um,
timing the presentation right now
just to see how long it's gonna be
for when actually
presenting to investors.
Should I stop the timer?
So I'm over here kinda wondering like,
"Does this guy even like juice?"
I I like juice a lot.
What's your favorite blend?
- Uh
- See? That should be split second.
Orange Kiwi Crisis. I blanked.
I can't have somebody sellin' my company
that's not on fire with juice.
- I am very much on fire.
- He's totally aflame.
So where's the passion? Huh?
'Cause I see numbers and I see graphs.
Well, you really want great graphs
in an investment presentation.
Fuck graphs Where's
my Snapple killer?
Hey.
He's right here.
Okay?
Yeah, well, uh, unfortunately, Miguel,
I just don't see it.
Eight minutes and 32 seconds.
LINDSAY: "But suddenly, it struck
her, like a bolt from on high,
the owl had been wrong,
and so had the fly.
Squid might've been
different, that much was true,
but she was a squirrel,
a squirrel through and through."
So, uh, by a quick show of hands,
who here preferred that
ending to ending number one,
in which Squid discovers
that she is actually a squid
who was abducted by
a pair of well-meaning
but, ultimately, misguided
squirrels with fertility issues?
- CHILD: What's fertility?
- Yes.
I don't get it. Is she
a squid or a squirrel?
- [CHILDREN AGREEING]
- Oh, that's what I'm trying to suss out.
- Yeah.
- Shouldn't you know what animal your main character is?
I could definitely
choose that on my own,
but, you know, I-I'm tryin'
to see what you think.
So, ahem, maybe we should
just move on to ending three.
How many endings do you have?
I just want you to like her.
What do I need to do
to make you like her?
Do you want her to be a squid, or
do you want her to be a squirrel?
Or do you want her to be
an Amazonian pygmy marmoset,
which I promise, will
make a lot more sense
once we get through ending six.
Oh!
- Look, everybody! It's Xander Duggins!
- [CHILDREN CHEERING]
Yay! Okay.
♪
Great reading.
Yeah thanks.
It's a wonderful book.
I actually have a book myself.
It's a It's about a, a squid
who thinks she's a squirrel.
Or it maybe it's about a s
a squirrel who thinks that she's
[SIGHS] Honestly, I-I'm having
trouble figuring out what she is.
What do you want her to be?
I don't know.
Lately, I have just been feeling so
Blocked.
Yes!
I was blocked on one book
for three and a half years.
Thought it was a writing problem.
Turns out it was more of a
"my ex-wife accused me of caring
more about inanimate puppets
than my own children,
and the judge agreed,
and now I'm essentially
penniless" problem.
Had to get past that,
and then I sat down and finished
that book in an hour flat.
H-How did you get unblocked?
[SIGHS]
Are you a cop?
Hey so I guess it's just us.
Your dad had a teacher
conference in Delaware?
[SNIFFING]
Whatchu doin'?
I blew my presentation today.
Chad and Kevin had to convince Trip
to come back tomorrow
morning for a redo.
So, now I have to come
up with something to say
to show how passionate I am about juice,
or there's no chance I'm making
associate by the end of the year.
And we're sure that's
a bad thing, right?
It's just you don't
seem to like it very much.
You know, your job.
[BOTTLES CLINKING]
I'm not going back to video games.
But if you don't love what you do
Most people don't get
to love what they do.
What do you love, exactly?
'Cause I don't really get a
whole lot of feelings from you.
You know, you'll open up to me
and you'll say all this stuff,
and then, all of a sudden,
you slam the door shut
and you're just gone.
I have no idea what you're thinking.
- People aren't always thinking things.
- You keep things from me.
Your drawings.
I'd never even seen your house
until I showed up at your doorstep
- because I I lost my apartment.
- [MIGUEL GARGLES]
[MIGUEL SPITS, GROANS]
You all right?
It's expired.
It's two years old.
Oh, my God. It's, like, fermented.
- [MIGUEL GROANS]
- Oh, oh, oh, oh!
Why is that worse than the juice?
Because it's psilocybin.
It's what?
Magic mushroom tea?
- Supposedly, it is very helpful in unblocking
- It's drugs.
I just took drugs.
How much drugs did I just drink?
Well, I, I only took a few
sips, so not a small amount.
I've never done drugs.
Yes, I I-I'm
beginning to gather that.
Are you gonna be okay?
Yeah, no, I'm fine. I'm
It'll be fun, I bet.
[ALL SCREAMING]
Still nothing?
Nope.
It's been an hour.
Maybe neither of us took enough.
Are you sure you didn't get a bad batch?
I did purchase them from
a marionettist with a ukulele
in what sounded like a
terrible first marriage,
so [INHALES] definitely
wouldn't surprise me.
Um, I'm gonna get some air.
Wait, but are we
are we totally sure that's a good idea?
If it was gonna happen, it
would've happened already.
Yeah Yeah, you're probably right.
[VIDEO GAME SYNTH MUSIC PLAYING]
CYPRIAN [ON TV]: You have been
called to the quest of quests ♪
You will endure many tests ♪
And your reward,
should you persevere ♪
Is a kingdom beyond pain and fear ♪
Will you go forth
on this quest with me ♪
And face the trials of your destiny ♪
High in the halls
of the Crystal Tower ♪
You'll find your doom ♪
Or you'll find your power ♪
When did this game come out?
I feel like I should've
heard about this.
Come. Your enemies gather.
♪
Okay?
[KNOCKS AT DOOR]
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
[KNOCKS]
- Yogurt?
- [KNOCKS]
Is that you?
[KNOCKS]
Well, good evening and hello.
- Ned! No! Are you kidding me?
- My goodness!
We did just enough fucking
drugs for you to show up?!
What'd you expect, Linds?
You wanted to dig deep, right?
Why are you deep inside me?
I'm your block.
- Surprise!
- No. No, it can't be.
You're filled with guilt
over what ya did to me.
You tried shovin' it all
down, but I'm still here.
I don't feel guilty
about what I did at all.
- In fact, I feel great.
- You're stuck because you've written
a character no one could ever like.
A character who abandons
the creatures who love her
to go on some kind of
half-baked, coniferous Rumspringa.
And you can't decide, is
she a squid or a squirrel
or a sloth with a pituitary disorder
because she's not an animal at all.
She's a monster.
[DEEP VOICE] Just like you.
I'm not a monster.
[NORMAL] Oh! Really, Linds?
[DISTORTED] What's in the suitcase?
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
[WHISPERS] Why don't you open it?
[GASPS]
Ooh, give Miguel a little
peek while we're at it?
I'm sure he'd be very
interested in the contents.
[CHEERY VIDEO GAME MUSIC PLAYING]
♪
Are you prepared to
face the battles ahead?
No.
Not at all.
I don't have any armor or weapons.
You will.
Bury thy feelings way down deep ♪
Obtain thy shield and sword ♪
Storm the evil castle keep ♪
Swear fealty to thy lord, that's me ♪
♪
[WHOOSHING]
I hear the lawn mower. I guess
Migwell's dad's working today.
Uh-oh, he's gonna cry.
I'm not gonna cry. I
don't feel anything.
[TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYS]
A weak man's quick to fight ♪
A strong man keeps it calmer ♪
Deny thy feelings, knight ♪
And claim more armor ♪
More armor ♪
I told you not to get weird.
[VIDEO GAME MUSIC DESCENDING]
I don't feel anything.
CYPRIAN: More armor ♪
[DISTORTED] Hey, ese, I'm
gonna have to look in your backpack.
[DISTORTED] Miguel, you
weren't supposed to come home.
I don't feel anything.
[TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYING]
Gauntlets and cauldrons
and tight cuirass ♪
More armor ♪
MIGUEL: Dad.
We need to be strong, Miguelito.
For Diego.
You need to be a big boy.
What would your mami say?
I don't feel anything.
More armor ♪
More armor ♪
More armor ♪
[MAGICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
Hi.
You've been gone a
long time. I missed you.
[ARMOR CLANKING]
MIGUEL: I can't really see anything.
Here.
♪
[LINDSAY MOANING]
Ooh, ow, ow! Ooh. Something's
digging into my rib.
Here. Just try to move.
- Miguel. [GRUNTS]
- I, I, I, I can't move.
[VOICES OVERLAPPING]
I wanna get outta here.
- LINDSAY: Miguel.
- I wanna get outta here.
I should go, um.
I wanna get outta here.
[VOICES OVERLAPPING]
I don't want this. I
don't feel anything.
I can't feel anything.
Falling in love should not be a war ♪
Yes, I've been hurt
from what came before ♪
But how can I love ♪
How can I fall if I'm so armored up ♪
I can't feel at all ♪
[VIDEO GAME MUSIC ENDS]
LINDSAY: Hey.
You're up?
I didn't know if I
should wake you or just
I feel a lot of things.
So many things.
And I'm sorry I don't
always show you that.
And maybe I don't love banking.
Maybe it's okay if I
don't get the promotion.
Maybe it's okay if I never
live in the Corinthian
or drive a BMW
because
maybe it's not worth it.
You learned all that from drugs?
[CHUCKLES]
I learned all that from you.
And the drugs did help
provide confirmation.
- Well, sure.
- But, um, what about you?
Did you?
I didn't really get that much out of it.
Seriously?
- Yeah.
- [PHONE RINGING]
I th-think my hair felt
kinda heavy at one point,
- but that was pretty much it.
- That's so weird.
I didn't feel anything like that at all.
♪
[PHONE RINGING]
Hello?
KEVIN [ON PHONE]: Dude.
It's Kevin. Where'd you go?
You need to get back here right now.
- Come back?
- KEVIN: You killed it this morning.
I've never seen a presentation
like it in my life.
I'll do anything.
Anything
for fuckin' fruit juice!
We should all get rid of our armor!
KEVIN: You're definitely
making associate now.
[NERVOUS CHUCKLE]
♪
♪
[FANFARE]
In all this crazy world ♪
There's one thing I am certain of ♪
For every hour and month and
year that we are here to love ♪
Regardless of how much ♪
We talk, we tell, we touch ♪
No matter what we suffer thorough ♪
- I can never know you ♪
- I can never know you ♪
[VOICES HARMONIZING]
Excuse me.
I really hope Derek didn't mess
things up for you. With your job?
No, not at all.
I'll make it up to them
once I land this client.
- Is, um, is this the juice guy?
- Yeah.
I just have to put together
a good investor presentation,
and, and if he likes it, then
Free juice for life?
- Free juice for life.
- [BOTH CHUCKLING]
I had a really great time
with you this weekend.
Me too.
And I'm really grateful
that you said what you said
because I wasn't brave enough
to be the first one to say it.
Now, I kind of feel like we
could tell each other anything,
and that's really cool.
- You can't trust anything
she says. Proven fact.
You should never have been the
first one to say the thing.
- "I love you."
- We don't have to repeat it.
You're rushing into this.
- What're you thinkin' about?
- Nothing.
ORSON: Now she knows
how fuckin' weak you are.
Nothing at all? Just no thoughts?
- ORSON: Oh, she's gonna eat you alive!
- Just blank.
- Hm.
- Yeah.
Seriously I'm, I'm good.
[UPTEMPO MUSIC PLAYING]
I'm not rushing into anything.
I know exactly what I'm doing.
♪
Fallin' in love does
not have to hurt ♪
Don't try too hard or overexert ♪
Savor the sun, stay out of the rain ♪
That's falling in love without pain ♪
♪
Fallin' in love is easy as pie ♪
Don't go too low and
don't get too high ♪
Share a good time
without baring your soul ♪
That's falling in love in control ♪
♪
Poets and rockstars and
every Valentine's card ♪
They all sing of leaping or
hurtling or falling too hard ♪
Yeah, well, that's one way to do it ♪
But having been through it ♪
I'd like to keep one hand on guard ♪
'Cause falling in love
is like placing a bet ♪
How much you put in
affects how much you get ♪
I've been burned before,
so this time I'll choose ♪
To only put in what
I'm willing to lose ♪
Low stakes, no mess,
and I guess I'm okay ♪
With fallin' in love ♪
Falling in love ♪
Falling in love ♪
Halfway ♪
♪
Everything all right?
Uh, yeah. I'm just
feeling a little stuck.
I've been tryna figure out the
ending of this book for two weeks now.
I could help if you let me read it.
I don't want you to see any
of it until it's actually
- Until it's perfect?
- No.
Mediocre is what I was
going for, actually.
Hey you know you don't have to go.
[SIGHS] I have the
presentation tomorrow,
and I've already spent the
night three nights this week, so.
Huh didn't realize
you were keeping count.
Okay. I was joking.
How 'bout I, uh, give
you a call tomorrow?
- Bye.
- Bye.
[DOOR CLOSES]
[DOOR OPENS]
[FOOTSTEPS THUMPING] [RUMMAGING]
Ah! What's going on?!
Get your shit! We have to go. Right now.
- Dave's back.
- Who-who's Dave?
Dave lives here. He owns this place.
- I didn't know we were subletting.
- We aren't.
Where the fuck is my diaphragm?
It never felt like an illegal squat,
but I guess that's
neither here nor there.
Yeah, squatting's sort of
independent of your feelings.
I-I promise I'm gonna start
looking for my own place right away.
There's no rush.
- Wow! Your room is so cute.
- Thanks.
Uh, that wasn't a compliment, dude.
Yeah. No woman wants to fuck a
grown man with a cute bedroom.
You need to get her the fuck outta here
before she sees all
your humiliating shit.
Ah this must be the infamous Yogurt.
- Hi! Oh! Oh, my God!
- No, no. I wouldn't
- Yeah.
- [GROWLING]
- Good boy.
- Yeah, he's not great with people.
- Hey, it's okay. You're okay.
- Sorry.
MIGUEL: There you go.
What's this? Like a
little inspiration wall?
- Uh
- Yeah, I'm dyin' to hear you explain this shit.
No, tho-those are just
pictures that I, um
- ORSON: You what?
- that I found.
Yeah, I, I just I like, I like
the way they look together, so I
Is that an office?
That's the Corinthian.
- It's, um, it's a condo.
- It's kinda sterile.
Well, it has great amenities.
- What, what are these?
- Oh, great!
She found your dungeons and dork shit.
- Uh
- ORSON: Fuck!
Those are just from my old job.
- I drew them.
- ORSON: Game over, man!
You, you drew these?
Yeah, I, I thought I told
you I worked in video games.
Yeah, uh, but I just
assumed you did, like,
video game finances or something.
I I didn't know you were an artist.
Well, it-it's not actually art.
That's just what they call it.
- But it's
- I love this guy.
Oh, no, no! She found the wizard.
Ah, there's no goin' back from this.
- What's his name?
- BOTH: Cyprian.
And he's a wizard?
A sixth-level sorcerer with
ninth-level powers of necromancy.
He's Yeah, he's basically a wizard.
You never told me about any of
this. I didn't even know you drew.
Well it was a long time ago.
Oh, he's a magnificent artist.
And the things he would
do with papier-mâché.
Oh! Talk about a wizard.
So, you gave up all
this to do banking?
Well, he wasn't gonna draw
video games for his entire life.
He has goals. He has
things to accomplish.
I couldn't just do concept art forever.
I have goals.
It's just
It wasn't me anymore.
♪
[CHILD COUGHING]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[CLEARS THROAT] Hi, hi, hi, hi!
[CHUCKLES] Hi, friends. Hi.
Okay, so I know we're all
waiting on Xander Duggins,
and he should be arriving at any moment,
but in the meantime,
how would you guys like
to be part of a focus group
for a brand new, as-yet-unpublished,
work-in-progress story
about a fun friend
named Squid the Squirrel
who's tryna figure out who she really
is and where she really belongs.
[CROWD MURMURING]
Great. So there's no illustrations yet,
so we're just gonna have
to use our imaginations,
but, hey, that's twice
the fun. Am I right?
With the growth levels we're targeting,
even after you factor
in for supply volatility,
with the three Ps:
Pineapple, Papaya,
Passion fruit I, uh,
uh, yeah, I have a question.
Well, we're actually, um,
timing the presentation right now
just to see how long it's gonna be
for when actually
presenting to investors.
Should I stop the timer?
So I'm over here kinda wondering like,
"Does this guy even like juice?"
I I like juice a lot.
What's your favorite blend?
- Uh
- See? That should be split second.
Orange Kiwi Crisis. I blanked.
I can't have somebody sellin' my company
that's not on fire with juice.
- I am very much on fire.
- He's totally aflame.
So where's the passion? Huh?
'Cause I see numbers and I see graphs.
Well, you really want great graphs
in an investment presentation.
Fuck graphs Where's
my Snapple killer?
Hey.
He's right here.
Okay?
Yeah, well, uh, unfortunately, Miguel,
I just don't see it.
Eight minutes and 32 seconds.
LINDSAY: "But suddenly, it struck
her, like a bolt from on high,
the owl had been wrong,
and so had the fly.
Squid might've been
different, that much was true,
but she was a squirrel,
a squirrel through and through."
So, uh, by a quick show of hands,
who here preferred that
ending to ending number one,
in which Squid discovers
that she is actually a squid
who was abducted by
a pair of well-meaning
but, ultimately, misguided
squirrels with fertility issues?
- CHILD: What's fertility?
- Yes.
I don't get it. Is she
a squid or a squirrel?
- [CHILDREN AGREEING]
- Oh, that's what I'm trying to suss out.
- Yeah.
- Shouldn't you know what animal your main character is?
I could definitely
choose that on my own,
but, you know, I-I'm tryin'
to see what you think.
So, ahem, maybe we should
just move on to ending three.
How many endings do you have?
I just want you to like her.
What do I need to do
to make you like her?
Do you want her to be a squid, or
do you want her to be a squirrel?
Or do you want her to be
an Amazonian pygmy marmoset,
which I promise, will
make a lot more sense
once we get through ending six.
Oh!
- Look, everybody! It's Xander Duggins!
- [CHILDREN CHEERING]
Yay! Okay.
♪
Great reading.
Yeah thanks.
It's a wonderful book.
I actually have a book myself.
It's a It's about a, a squid
who thinks she's a squirrel.
Or it maybe it's about a s
a squirrel who thinks that she's
[SIGHS] Honestly, I-I'm having
trouble figuring out what she is.
What do you want her to be?
I don't know.
Lately, I have just been feeling so
Blocked.
Yes!
I was blocked on one book
for three and a half years.
Thought it was a writing problem.
Turns out it was more of a
"my ex-wife accused me of caring
more about inanimate puppets
than my own children,
and the judge agreed,
and now I'm essentially
penniless" problem.
Had to get past that,
and then I sat down and finished
that book in an hour flat.
H-How did you get unblocked?
[SIGHS]
Are you a cop?
Hey so I guess it's just us.
Your dad had a teacher
conference in Delaware?
[SNIFFING]
Whatchu doin'?
I blew my presentation today.
Chad and Kevin had to convince Trip
to come back tomorrow
morning for a redo.
So, now I have to come
up with something to say
to show how passionate I am about juice,
or there's no chance I'm making
associate by the end of the year.
And we're sure that's
a bad thing, right?
It's just you don't
seem to like it very much.
You know, your job.
[BOTTLES CLINKING]
I'm not going back to video games.
But if you don't love what you do
Most people don't get
to love what they do.
What do you love, exactly?
'Cause I don't really get a
whole lot of feelings from you.
You know, you'll open up to me
and you'll say all this stuff,
and then, all of a sudden,
you slam the door shut
and you're just gone.
I have no idea what you're thinking.
- People aren't always thinking things.
- You keep things from me.
Your drawings.
I'd never even seen your house
until I showed up at your doorstep
- because I I lost my apartment.
- [MIGUEL GARGLES]
[MIGUEL SPITS, GROANS]
You all right?
It's expired.
It's two years old.
Oh, my God. It's, like, fermented.
- [MIGUEL GROANS]
- Oh, oh, oh, oh!
Why is that worse than the juice?
Because it's psilocybin.
It's what?
Magic mushroom tea?
- Supposedly, it is very helpful in unblocking
- It's drugs.
I just took drugs.
How much drugs did I just drink?
Well, I, I only took a few
sips, so not a small amount.
I've never done drugs.
Yes, I I-I'm
beginning to gather that.
Are you gonna be okay?
Yeah, no, I'm fine. I'm
It'll be fun, I bet.
[ALL SCREAMING]
Still nothing?
Nope.
It's been an hour.
Maybe neither of us took enough.
Are you sure you didn't get a bad batch?
I did purchase them from
a marionettist with a ukulele
in what sounded like a
terrible first marriage,
so [INHALES] definitely
wouldn't surprise me.
Um, I'm gonna get some air.
Wait, but are we
are we totally sure that's a good idea?
If it was gonna happen, it
would've happened already.
Yeah Yeah, you're probably right.
[VIDEO GAME SYNTH MUSIC PLAYING]
CYPRIAN [ON TV]: You have been
called to the quest of quests ♪
You will endure many tests ♪
And your reward,
should you persevere ♪
Is a kingdom beyond pain and fear ♪
Will you go forth
on this quest with me ♪
And face the trials of your destiny ♪
High in the halls
of the Crystal Tower ♪
You'll find your doom ♪
Or you'll find your power ♪
When did this game come out?
I feel like I should've
heard about this.
Come. Your enemies gather.
♪
Okay?
[KNOCKS AT DOOR]
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
[KNOCKS]
- Yogurt?
- [KNOCKS]
Is that you?
[KNOCKS]
Well, good evening and hello.
- Ned! No! Are you kidding me?
- My goodness!
We did just enough fucking
drugs for you to show up?!
What'd you expect, Linds?
You wanted to dig deep, right?
Why are you deep inside me?
I'm your block.
- Surprise!
- No. No, it can't be.
You're filled with guilt
over what ya did to me.
You tried shovin' it all
down, but I'm still here.
I don't feel guilty
about what I did at all.
- In fact, I feel great.
- You're stuck because you've written
a character no one could ever like.
A character who abandons
the creatures who love her
to go on some kind of
half-baked, coniferous Rumspringa.
And you can't decide, is
she a squid or a squirrel
or a sloth with a pituitary disorder
because she's not an animal at all.
She's a monster.
[DEEP VOICE] Just like you.
I'm not a monster.
[NORMAL] Oh! Really, Linds?
[DISTORTED] What's in the suitcase?
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
[WHISPERS] Why don't you open it?
[GASPS]
Ooh, give Miguel a little
peek while we're at it?
I'm sure he'd be very
interested in the contents.
[CHEERY VIDEO GAME MUSIC PLAYING]
♪
Are you prepared to
face the battles ahead?
No.
Not at all.
I don't have any armor or weapons.
You will.
Bury thy feelings way down deep ♪
Obtain thy shield and sword ♪
Storm the evil castle keep ♪
Swear fealty to thy lord, that's me ♪
♪
[WHOOSHING]
I hear the lawn mower. I guess
Migwell's dad's working today.
Uh-oh, he's gonna cry.
I'm not gonna cry. I
don't feel anything.
[TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYS]
A weak man's quick to fight ♪
A strong man keeps it calmer ♪
Deny thy feelings, knight ♪
And claim more armor ♪
More armor ♪
I told you not to get weird.
[VIDEO GAME MUSIC DESCENDING]
I don't feel anything.
CYPRIAN: More armor ♪
[DISTORTED] Hey, ese, I'm
gonna have to look in your backpack.
[DISTORTED] Miguel, you
weren't supposed to come home.
I don't feel anything.
[TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYING]
Gauntlets and cauldrons
and tight cuirass ♪
More armor ♪
MIGUEL: Dad.
We need to be strong, Miguelito.
For Diego.
You need to be a big boy.
What would your mami say?
I don't feel anything.
More armor ♪
More armor ♪
More armor ♪
[MAGICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
Hi.
You've been gone a
long time. I missed you.
[ARMOR CLANKING]
MIGUEL: I can't really see anything.
Here.
♪
[LINDSAY MOANING]
Ooh, ow, ow! Ooh. Something's
digging into my rib.
Here. Just try to move.
- Miguel. [GRUNTS]
- I, I, I, I can't move.
[VOICES OVERLAPPING]
I wanna get outta here.
- LINDSAY: Miguel.
- I wanna get outta here.
I should go, um.
I wanna get outta here.
[VOICES OVERLAPPING]
I don't want this. I
don't feel anything.
I can't feel anything.
Falling in love should not be a war ♪
Yes, I've been hurt
from what came before ♪
But how can I love ♪
How can I fall if I'm so armored up ♪
I can't feel at all ♪
[VIDEO GAME MUSIC ENDS]
LINDSAY: Hey.
You're up?
I didn't know if I
should wake you or just
I feel a lot of things.
So many things.
And I'm sorry I don't
always show you that.
And maybe I don't love banking.
Maybe it's okay if I
don't get the promotion.
Maybe it's okay if I never
live in the Corinthian
or drive a BMW
because
maybe it's not worth it.
You learned all that from drugs?
[CHUCKLES]
I learned all that from you.
And the drugs did help
provide confirmation.
- Well, sure.
- But, um, what about you?
Did you?
I didn't really get that much out of it.
Seriously?
- Yeah.
- [PHONE RINGING]
I th-think my hair felt
kinda heavy at one point,
- but that was pretty much it.
- That's so weird.
I didn't feel anything like that at all.
♪
[PHONE RINGING]
Hello?
KEVIN [ON PHONE]: Dude.
It's Kevin. Where'd you go?
You need to get back here right now.
- Come back?
- KEVIN: You killed it this morning.
I've never seen a presentation
like it in my life.
I'll do anything.
Anything
for fuckin' fruit juice!
We should all get rid of our armor!
KEVIN: You're definitely
making associate now.
[NERVOUS CHUCKLE]
♪
♪
[FANFARE]