Victorious s01e06 Episode Script

Ready? Action.
I don't know.
Oh, come on! Why can't you admit That you're in love with me? Why are you in love with me? Because you're beautiful.
Look at your face In the moonlight.
I can't.
You can.
No, a person can't look At their own face, It's impossible.
Then marry me, And I'll buy you A thousand mirrors.
But that's so many.
My father's a billionaire.
I can give you Everything you've ever wanted, And I'm very good looking.
Um, yeah.
Think.
And lights go.
It's okay That you don't know.
But you deserve an answer.
I can wait, For you, I would wait a thousand years.
I know I'm poor.
I know I don't have much To offer, But I do love you.
Because I'm beautiful? I don't love you, You're beautiful, Because I love you.
What up with the disco?! I'm sorry.
I hit the wrong thing.
No, 15 years ago, Your mother gave birth To the wrong thing! All right, Why don't we take a break? Tori, Beck, you guys were great, Really nice stuff.
Thanks.
How was I? I've seen worse.
Guys, guys, Everyone shut up a second.
Whatcha got? An e-mail From principal eikner.
That says? To all students Involved in our school's Production of uptown downtown, Sofia Michelle will be In los angeles the weekend Of the 17th and will be Personally attending Your opening night performance.
That's amazing.
Oh, my God! Who's Sofia Michelle? Oh, no, no, no! What? She gets to be the lead And she doesn't even know Who Sofia Michelle is.
Wait, is she the lady Who does those infomercials With the vibrating hairbrush? I love that hairbrush.
Look at the cover Of your script.
Oh, Sofia Michelle Wrote the play we're doing.
She's like the biggest Playwright on broadway.
All right, you guys, We knew we had to be great.
Now, we have to be perfect.
We are not gonna disappoint Sofia Michelle.
And you're sure you want Robbie in this play? I'm good.
At what? I have to go take another Nerve pill.
Will you kill the disco?! No one can kill disco! Cat? Cat? Hey, have you seen Cat? It's just Special effects makeup.
Oh, well, that is special, And I have been effected.
Yo, Cat.
Oh, hey, Tori! We doing lunch? Yeah, just a sec.
I'm almost finished With my assignment.
Oh, what's the assignment? To transform a human face Into a terrifying monster.
Wanna see? Terrify me.
Isn't he scary? No, he's kind of adorable.
Aw, man, you made me cute.
You're the worst.
Well, let me try again After school.
No, no, no! I'm done with you.
No, but wait, You can't just Done with you.
Oh, that's the third model Who's quit on me.
I'm gonna get an "F" in makeup.
Aww, that bites.
Let's go get an "A" in lunch.
Wait.
No.
I just need I'm not gonna be your Monster makeup model.
But if I don't transform Someone's face Into a hideous monster By Monday, I'm gonna fail this class.
And if I don't cram A turkey sandwich Down my throat, I'm gonna fail Not starving to death.
Oh, come on.
We can do it tonight, Tomorrow night, Whenever you want.
I'm in a huge play.
I have to learn all my lines And five songs.
Tori.
Cat.
Ah, you have to do it.
No, I'm not doing it.
Say yes, I'm desperate.
I don't want to.
All right, I'll do it.
But you're buying my lunch.
* Suddenly, my choice is clear * Nice, now sing it Like an old jazz singer.
Why? To amuse me.
Clear.
Come on, be a man.
Now, I'm amused.
Hey, it's almost 8:00.
Are you getting hungry? Yeah, want me to go Pick up a pizza? Yeah, sure.
Let's get a large pepperoni.
Coming.
Makeup time.
Hey, Cat! Where should I set up? Kitchen table.
Oh, I love kitchens.
Hey, Andre.
'Sup, little red? What's that supposed to mean? I don't know.
Little red: You're little And you've got red hair? Oh, that's so creative.
Do Tori now.
Can we just get this whole Monster makeup thing over with? Sure, let's get started.
Hey, can Andre Be my assistant? You can ask him.
Hey, Andre, You wanna help me put Monster makeup on Tori's face? Bye.
Maybe he had to use The bathroom.
In my front yard? Well, sometimes my brother Yep, show me, me.
Wow, look at me.
I'm hious.
Oh, you really think so? Yeah, I totally look Like a zombie.
Ay, I'm not a failure.
Oh, hey, let's go scare My sister.
Okay.
Trina, come see something.
Is it for me? Where's Tori? Ah, did they deliver My vibrating hairbrush? How could you not be scared By this? I've seen Our grandmother naked.
Thing scares me anymore.
Come on, Let me get some pics Of your face.
'Kay.
I want some apple juice.
Then, go get some.
Fine, I'll do it myself.
Okay, come over here Into the light.
Whoa-Rrr.
What is this for? Oh, that's glue.
Yeah, but why is it With your makeup supplies? What's the problem? This is grizzly glue.
It's like an Industrial cement.
Cat, tell me You didn't use this On Tori's face.
Give me that.
For industrial use only.
Caution: Avoid contact With skin.
Cat! Why didn't you use dermaglue? I ran out, So I got that out Of my dad's toolbox.
Are you insane?! Will it come off? Why didn't you read The label? 'Cause I t stcted By the picture Of the cute grizzly bear.
I mean, look at him, He's like a fuzzy little Hey! Ugh, this is not gonna work.
You guys, I'm playing the lead In a big music tomrow night And my character Is supposed to be beautiful.
Well, you do not Look beautiful.
This is not gonna Look, worse comes to worse, You postpone the play.
No, I can't.
Fimichelle is coming To see it.
Oh, wow, that's so exciting.
No, it's not.
Why not? 'Cause I'm a rotting zombie, At's why! I didn't mean to.
Okay, all right.
I got pizza.
Right, it's on her skin.
Yeah, grizzly glue.
It won't come off.
And my nose itches And I can't scratch it.
Who are you talking to? The doctor, shh.
Then who are you talking to? The glue company, shh.
No, no, you don't understand, It's all over her face.
Well, should I take her To the emergency room? I didn't read the label.
Don't make me feel bad.
Okay, I'll tell Tori.
What? What? What? Listen, While I've got you On the phone, would I need My parents' permission to have Minor cosmetic surgery? Trina, hang up.
I gotta go.
What did he say? That I have to be 18 Before he can make About me! Can he get this zombie makeup Off my face? Oh, no.
Well, did you tell him I'm starring in a play Tomorrow night that was written By Sofia Michelle, And that Sofia Michelle Is gonna be there And I'm supposed to be beautiful And not look like a walking De person who wants to eat People's brains?! Really? You do? They do? They do what? What they do? They make a solvent That's safe for skin.
Well, where do we get it? Ask the man! It's a lady.
Ask her.
Hi, Gail, it's Cat, yeah.
Where can I buy the solvent? Okay, bye.
Well? Oh, they don't sell it In stores.
Butwell, then We just have to drive To grizzly industries And get it there.
Okay, so where's grizzly? Bakersfield.
Bakersfield? Relax, that's only like Two hours from here.
I could drive you There tomorrow.
When? I have school until 3:00, And then I have final rehearsal And then I have to do the play.
Calm down.
After school, I'll go with Trina To bakersfield, Pick up the solvent, drive back, And get the makeup off your face Before the play starts.
Okay, okay, that sounds Augh, who's that? What?! Wait, I want cookies.
That was dynamite, Except Robbie.
Is something wrong With your pants? No, why? Was I dancing weird? No, it was great.
Now, everyone, Go get some water, Hydrate and rest up For the show.
Yeah, what's up? Your face.
It's still hideous.
I know, but my sister And Cat are already on their way Back here from bakersfield With the solvent.
You're sure? Uhtotally, yes.
All right.
Trina, maybe you Should pull over If you're gonna put On lip gloss.
Maybe you should talk less.
That's what my dad Always says.
Shut up! Yeah, I got a horn too, buddy! Oh, I think That's your phone.
I know, find it.
Come on, come on! Look under the seat.
You're bossy.
Ow, watch the girls.
Found your phone.
Then answer it.
Hi, Trina's phone.
Are you on your way back With the solvent? Tell me you're on the way back Who's calling? It's Tori.
Oh, put her on speaker.
Kay-Kay.
Tori, you're on speaker.
Trina is also in the car.
Where are you guys? Relax, we're almost At the factory.
The fact You're not even there yet? The show starts In like two hours.
We'll make it.
Oh, punch buggy blue.
Dude.
Listen to me.
If you two morons Aren't back here Before the play starts And I have to go on stage Looking like a zombie, I'm gonna punch Both your buggies.
Do you? I love you too, grandma.
Thanks for the quilt.
Quilt? Hi, Miss Michelle.
I'm marty, the director.
Pleasure to meet you.
Sophia.
Oh, I'm lane, big fan.
Oh, my God, It's Sofia Michelle.
Tori? I know, but they're Still not back with the solvent.
Well, we're on In two minutes And you still look disgusting.
I could play the lead.
No, we don't have anyone else To play your part.
We're indoors.
Lose the scarf.
Do something.
But what do you want me? Hi, Tori.
Where are you?! Where's my solvent?! Ah, we have it right here.
Put her on speaker.
What's up sistah? The curtain's gonna be up In 90 seconds And I'm still freaky In the face.
Why aren't you here? We had a little bit Of an emergency.
What kind of emergency? A creamy delicious one? You stopped for ice cream? We had to.
There was a freezy queen In bakersfield.
Then how far away are you? Just like 40 minutes.
You, in the red vehicle Maybe an hour? Pull over to the side Of the road.
So I'm on my private jet, Almost half way to barcelona, When I say to the pilot, I've changed my mind.
Take a left.
We're going to prague.
You're too much.
Aren't I? Hey, hey, hey, you there.
Yes, sir? That luggage Is very expensive.
Don't just toss it around Like a monkey.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Check out the girl Coming this way.
Oh, my God, she's gorgeous.
She's beautiful.
* you know I flaunt ya, * * 'cuz girl I really want ya * * and you lookin' nice * * got me cooler * * than a bag of ice * * now freeze! * * freeze! * * now go drop it fast * * and move it real slow * * what?! * * you smell so fruity * Sing the next line.
It's dirty.
Just say you'll marry me.
Excuse me, But most women Don't wannbe screamed at When they're being proposed to.
I'm rich, I'm handsome, I have nine boats! Stop acting like a stupid girl! Wait, you got a little Something right there.
This.
We brought you freezy queen.
Just get this muck Off my face.
Get it off her face.
Okay! Hurry.
Now hurry, I'm missing the song.
It's coming, it's coming, Be ready.
Well, that was An interesting performance.
When I wrote that play, I certainly never pictured Penny as a freakish zombie During most of it.
Oh, man, I'm out of pills.
Look, I can explain.
You don't need to explain.
I totally got it.
You did? You do? She got it.
What did you get? The whole commentary On what's really beautiful.
Having these two young men Feel true love for a girl With a hideous face, Really emphasized The whole point of the play, Which is substance over beauty, The beauty within.
Right.
Well, we're really glad You liked it.
Yeah, and did you enjoy My performance, Miss Michelle? Wow, I am late For my plane.
We heard You were gonna be in L.
A.
All week.
Right, well, bye.
Congratulations everyone.
Now, before we go, Just a couple of Don't fight it.
Me? I'm Beck.
This? Is TheSlap.
If you're gonna be Seriously angry, I won't get in a fight With you, But I will retaliate In a way that I'll make you sad For a long time.
You like that? Go to TheSlap.
com For more.
You know you wanna.