Waterloo Road (2006) s01e06 Episode Script

I did it, all right? I crashed the car.
I swear.
Chlo, stop it right now.
Do you hear me? Surely you're not insinuating I've been unprofessional?.
Not when there's a break-in here nearly every other day.
Yeah, but it's not usually coursework, is it? Andrew was right about you.
- You are nothing but a twisted little - What's that? Are you saying that Treneman is bad-mouthing me? I've been worrying that all our hard work will have been for nothing cos one person could ruin it in a split second.
Steph.
So I'm sending her on a trip.
You're going, too.
Chlo! Oh, my God! What the hell are you doing? Are you all right? See, Mum? I can drive! Now do you believe me? Get to work! I take it this is all for the royal visit? Every little helps.
So if you see a bit, pick it up, mate.
Will do.
- You never heard of hand signals? - I haven't been on this thing for ten years.
Cycling proficiency's a bit rusty.
Oh, and you look like such a pro.
Chlo.
Come on, get a move on.
Decided to let your mum drive today, eh, Chlo? She's trying to work out how she's going to pay for the damage to her dad's van.
I haven't seen you all week.
How have you been? Fine.
So, erm, is this an ecological decision? Ah.
No.
I've got to go flat-hunting tonight.
- Right.
- Lorna needs the car.
It's all right, though.
Gotta make changes now I'm a single man.
Guess this is a good place to start.
Yeah.
Look on the bright side.
Keep you fit.
Yeah.
- Not told you yet? - No.
Oh, poor Tom and Lorna.
Don't say anything.
Black coffee, two sugars.
And your camomile.
- Looks revolting.
- I need something to steady my nerves.
- I've got just the thing for that.
- jack.
Right, let's not panic.
The point is, Heather Davenport knows that we have certain failings, but she's looking for potential, not the finished article.
Let me tell you now that in reality no one gives a toss about sodding potential.
What's the point of the inspection, then? Everybody knows this school's been a dumping ground for years.
You can't turn that around in five minutes.
The bottom line is that if it looks like we're running a school where the kids turn lessons upside down, and then they visit a school where the kids don't turn lessons upside down, which one gets the tick and which one gets the big, fat red cross? Anyway, at least Andrew here is being a star.
Your museum trip.
Getting rid of Steph and a whole bunch of the worst Year 11s in one fell swoop.
The thing is, do you not think she's gonna twig? Cos it's not uncommon for the worst teachers to go AWOL during inspections.
- No, they're all daft up there.
- What, they can't work out that going to see stuffed dinosaurs has got nothing to do with French? Anyway, your job is to keep that rabble as far away from here as possible.
And I need Kim to stick to Ms LEA like glue.
Any time she looks like she's snooping where she shouldn't be, - you head her off at the pass.
- just about leaves the staffroom.
Come on, it won't be that bad.
I met her yesterday.
Her name's Alison and she's very nice.
I said I'm going, didn't I? But I don't see the point.
I'm not a nutter, you know, Mum.
Chlo, no one's saying you're a nutter.
You just need some help.
Hello, Izzie.
And this must be Chlo.
- Alison McKinnon.
- Hi, Alison.
Chlo, go through.
I'm just going to have a quick word with your mum and I'll be straight in.
So, how did she take coming to see me? Well, she wasn't keen, I've got to admit.
Don't worry.
I'm used to it.
To be honest with you, I wasn't very keen myself.
Somehow, accepting your daughter's got mental problems, it's not easy.
She's been through a very traumatic event.
The sort of trauma she's experienced is hard to handle for an adult, let alone a child.
I know, but she's just usually so together.
But like I said to you, I blame Donte Charles for this.
She's obsessed with him.
If you can do anything for her, you can make her forget about him.
Look, I'll find you later and we'll talk about how I got on.
OK.
Thanks.
Oh, er, sorry to disturb you, Headmaster.
This is Ms Davenport, from the LEA.
Ms Davenport, jack Rimmer.
Welcome to Waterloo Road.
Good to meet you.
And, please, call me Heather.
This is, erm, Andrew Treneman, deputy head.
- How d'you do? - And Kim Campbell, head of pastoral care.
I'm hoping you're gonna see a real turnaround in the place here.
Look, jack, I'm afraid I have some potentially bad news.
Basically, the situation is this - three schools in the area are under threat of closure and Waterloo Road is one of them.
There just aren't enough kids.
That's what this visit is about.
I've got to determine whether Waterloo Road should stay open or not.
Well thanks for, er springing that on us.
I'm sure that Heather's only the messenger, jack.
Yeah, sure.
I - I'm just a bit gutted, that's all.
- Well, I'm not.
I think that you will be amazed with the transformation of this place.
For certain.
Especially if you're comparing it with schools like St Bartholomew's.
I mean, all they teach them there is how to roll spliffs and hotwire cars.
Er have you agreed any particular criteria for your decision-making? There are lots of factors.
And I realise this is a huge shock, but let me stress I'm not looking for miracles or the perfect school.
I'm looking for a school that wants to succeed.
With dedicated, passionate staff.
I'm looking for innovation.
Well, we're innovating like crazy here.
Aren't we, Kim? Wh where do I start? Well, there's the new house system that Mr Treneman's instigated.
- How quaint.
- The children don't think so.
And they're the ones that count, aren't they? At least, they are at Waterloo Road.
- And let's not forget the open day.
- Really? That sounds very interesting.
Mm.
It's like a erm meet-the-parents cum look-what-we've-achieved kind of thing.
- Lots of stalls and a show.
- A show.
And a display, celebrating the diversity of our pupils.
That must have taken a lot of planning.
Why don't you tell Heather all about it, Kim? And I'll organise another cup of tea.
And then we can have the grand tour! OK.
- I'd better get going to - (Bell) - Wish me luck.
- You'll need it.
Last time they went to Blackpool, five of them ended up in Casualty.
Can we have another cup of tea, please, Estelle? I need you to tell each member of staff what we're up against here.
She's only gonna go and close the bloody school if we don't shape up.
Close the school?.
- But I'll be out of a job.
- Yeah.
join the club.
Well, some of us are a little older than others.
This day could make or break us.
They need to know what's at stake and fast.
Yeah? Yes, Headmaster.
I don't think I could work for anyone but you now.
- You are going on a museum trip today.
- Eh? Oh, stop moaning.
Ah! Here's Mr Treneman.
Morning, Andrew.
Morning, Miss Haydock.
Everything all right? - Oh, yes, raring to go.
- Check Haydock, gagging for it.
Do you want to look like a camel, Seddon? Why are we going to a museum? - They're dead boring anyway.
- Yeah.
Why not Blackpool?.
- Have you ever been to a museum? - Don't remember.
Oh, come on, you lot! Show a bit of enthusiasm.
This is a marvellous opportunity, a day off from proper learning.
What could be better? We're a French class.
We should be going to France.
I know what it is.
It's that bump on your head, innit, sir? Got you coming up with all sorts of weird ideas.
I hope one of them isn't sending you to the cooler.
Right, you lot, follow me.
(Chatter) - D'you want an E? - Maybe later, when we're needing a buzz.
- Are you gonna have yours now? - No, I'm gonna give it to the pigeons.
Are you stupid or summat? I don't care what Mum thinks.
I'm not obsessed.
He's just my boyfriend, all right? Which doesn't explain why you're lying for him.
Oh, for God's sake.
So you were driving in your dad's van.
So, what was all that about? I wanted to prove to my mum that I could drive.
That it was me driving the car that night.
I thought that would get into her stupid head.
She doesn't wanna believe me, does she? It's cos she's in denial.
She's worried about you.
She doesn't want to see you punished - for something you didn't do.
- Well, sorry, I won't be punished.
Why won't you be punished if you confess to driving the car? - I don't know.
- You seemed sure a few seconds ago.
- Sir, I don't wanna go! - This is not a subject up for discussion.
It's an obligatory trip.
Yeah, "trip" is the right word, man! (Laughter) - What's so funny? - Nothing, Miss.
I'm looking forward to spending time with you outside the confines of school.
I love a school trip, don't you? All that snogging on the back of the bus.
Ooh! - Mr Treneman.
- Yes? Come on.
That's it, I'm afraid.
The school could close.
So Mr Rimmer wants you all to pull your fingers out today.
Hm.
We're screwed.
I suppose if you can't afford to keep a school going, you can't afford it.
Can't imagine anyone at the town hall going to the barricades over this place.
They'll have the For Sale sign slapped on the gates soon as.
Well, that's the sort of positive spirit won us two world wars.
We'll show 'em.
I suppose we should be grateful Mr Rimmer's seen sense and sent Steph Haydock on a trip.
Pity it isn't one way.
It is a bit worrying, though, isn't it? Especially as you've got two wages to lose.
It's no wonder half the profession's off with stress.
Give them half an hour, they'll be really hyper.
There'll be plenty to grab their attention.
Oh, I know.
Egyptian history is their favourite subject.
Sir, Lewis has done an E.
- Don't be stupid.
- No! I seen him with these.
And my mum says I've got eyes in the back of my head, an' all.
That's pure cheek, that is.
Hand that over.
- What over? - That.
- You want a mint chew? - (Laughter) She don't even know what an E looks like.
- And that's something to boast about, is it? - It's knowledge, innit? (Steph) Right, come on, Lewis.
You sit with me at the back, come on.
I'll keep him in check, Mr Treneman.
She's not self-harming or anything like that? No.
And you don't think she's clinically depressed? She's certainly been through a hell of a time and that may have affected her mood.
But I think, all things considered, she's coping remarkably well.
So, what about this whole thing with taking jimmy's van and saying that she was driving? Look, I might be wrong, but my feeling is that she and Donte have worked out that if they both admit to the crime, neither of them will be charged.
What, you're saying they've got some sort of pact between them? No.
I don't think so.
Trust me, I know my own daughter.
How long have you had the house system up and running? Er, six weeks.
And I was sceptical to start off with, as well.
I didn't think our kids would go for it, but, you know, why shouldn't they? I don't know.
It's just a bit middle class.
Well, they do tend to bag the good ideas, don't they? Huge playing fields, small classes.
Some of that would be nice, too.
I'm not saying it hasn't been without its teething problems, but now it works really well.
It was one of Mr Treneman's initiatives, wasn't it? Yeah.
Yeah.
just as a matter of interest, where is Mr Treneman today? He's, er, gone to Manchester.
With Miss Haydock.
It's an educational trip.
- It's been in the diary for ages.
- I see.
- (Tom ) Right, come in, you lot.
- OK I want you to join these in a nice, big semicircle for me.
Er, Miss Redpath, Mr Clarkson, this is Ms Davenport from the LEA.
She's gonna sit in on your class, if that's OK.
No problem.
Maurie, would you like to fetch Ms Davenport a chair, please? We actively encourage team-teaching here.
- Should hope so.
- I hope you enjoy it.
OK, everyone, let's get started.
If you'd like to open your plays at page two.
That says dedicated and passionate to me.
Yes, well, I don't think the kids will be too impressed.
Lorna I just wanted to say, erm that I was sorry to hear about you and Tom.
- Oh, you know? - jack told me.
- How are you coping? - I don't let my personal life affect my work.
- How could it not? - It's not over, though.
I mean, not really.
I'm to blame.
I rushed him into marriage when he wasn't ready.
- Oh, right.
- We've just got to get back that magic.
I think once Tom's moved out, then he'll have the space to see what he's lost.
Here's hoping.
Maybe we can start dating again.
Who knows? Fall for each other.
Well, it's early days.
I mean, who knows how things will pan out? Oh, I suppose I'd better tell everybody now Izzie knows, of course.
She's been an absolute rock.
Well, you know where I am, as well, if you need me.
Thanks.
Here we go, here we go, here we go Here we go, here we go, here we go Everybody, quieten down! You two, stop that! Here we go, here we go, here we go Here we go Don't you remember what it was like to be young and in love? I don't think eating each other alive constitutes being in love, Miss Haydock.
Well, you may as well leave them alone, Mr Treneman, cos it'll be to no avail.
When two people are sexually attracted to each other, it's nigh near impossible for them to keep their hands off each other.
Hey, sir, I think they'll be needing one of these! Oh, Lewis! (Cheering) (Feet stamping) No, sir.
I do not bite my thumb at you, sir.
But I bite my thumb, sir.
- Do you quarrel, sir? - Quarrel, sir? No, sir.
If you do, sir, I am for you.
I serve as good a man as you.
- No better.
- You lie.
Draw, if you be men.
Gregory, remember thy swashing blow.
Good.
OK, we'll leave it there.
Well read.
- So, any questions? - (All murmur) No.
No? OK.
Miss Redpath over to you.
OK, so we've got these two gangs, the Capulets and the Montagues.
- Tell me, are they friends or enemies? - Enemies.
Good.
So, when you meet an enemy, what is it you want to do to them? - Hit 'em.
- (All make suggestions ) - Pulverise them.
- That's right.
So how are you gonna start this fight? What are you gonna do to get them really riled? - Diss their master.
- (All contribute ) Excellent.
So, then, who's up for starting a fight? Me! OK, get up on your feet and I want you to split yourselves into two groups.
Mr Clarkson's gonna take you on this side and you'll be the Capulets.
I'm gonna be on the other side and we're gonna be the Montagues.
Now, I want you to use the bite-the-thumb line to provoke the other side into a fight OK, so it's, "Do you bite your thumb at me, sir?" And then the opposition will reply, "Yes, I do bite my thumb, sir.
" I want you to keep going with this line of questioning back and forth.
Then we're gonna have to start sussing each other out, until gradually we can build it up so that we're furious with each other.
But no touching.
(All laugh) OK, everyone, when you're ready.
- Sir, come on.
- Oh, yeah.
Sorry.
- Are you biting your thumb at me? - Yes, I do bite my thumb, sir.
Sir, you're biting your thumb at me? Oh, that's disgusting.
That mummy would be thousands and thousands of years old.
Yeah, and it's dead rank, man.
Well, I can tell you now, I would much rather be cremated.
Who wants to lie in the ground and let all the worms eat you up? Oh, no.
I'd much rather be burnt and let your spirit fly free in the sky.
"Ah, oui, la libération finalement!" Hey, Miss, that is the spit of you.
- (Laughter) - Hey! That's enough! It is, innit? Well they seem to be enjoying themselves.
I wouldn't go that far.
In fact, they're so entertained I don't think they'd notice if we weren't here.
I mean, let's face it, once you've seen one mummy, you've seen them all.
- I actually find them quite interesting.
- I'm not saying they're not interesting.
I'm merely saying that a refreshing G&T in the local pub might be more interesting.
- Set him alight.
I'll put him out.
- That's it! Right Give me that! That's enough.
Any more trouble and we are gonna get straight back on the bus.
I mean it! Right, ladies and gentlemen, gather round, please.
Come on, quickly.
I don't want to say this more than once.
Right, we are all gonna go to the ground floor to look at the dinosaur.
- Brilliant.
- You will all walk there in silence to see the Tyrannosaurus rex.
Go on.
Quickly.
Come on.
You're very strict with them, aren't you, Andrew? - Not that it seems to be doing much good.
- Oh, no.
I think they look up to you.
- (All talking) - I bite my thumb at you, sir! Oh, very good, Mr Clarkson.
OK! So, bringing the exercise to an end, I want you to grab your texts, get into groups of four.
We're gonna do the words again, keeping that same energy.
Er, Ms Davenport, maybe you'd like to join a group? No, thanks.
You know, I actually think they understand what's going on.
In the play, I mean.
That's a first.
Well, it's the one thing they do understand, isn't it? Fighting.
See what I mean? You two What you doing? If you wanna grope each other, do it in your own time.
(Laughter) - Are you ready? - Mm.
Thought you might like a cuppa before your next class.
- Thanks.
- Thank you.
Thanks a lot.
Well, if Waterloo Road stays open, you should take the credit.
Thomas Hardy.
Ridiculous.
Why don't we do Gerard Ma What's he doing? Oh do you think that's going to make a difference? Look, if I were her, I'd rather see litter-free corridors.
Oh, jack.
You know, there was a time, not that long ago, you'd have told the cow to sling her hook.
- Was I that daft? - No, but you were 100% behind your staff.
Now it seems you're quite happy to see us all get trampled over.
Grantly, look at me.
I'm stuffing crisp packets into my trousers for the sake of this school, for your job.
It's a shame your deputy doesn't seem concerned about my job.
Treneman has made it more than clear he wants me out.
- You want out yourself.
- Well, only since he's arrived.
- (Bell) - Look, to be honest with you, Andrew isn't the most diplomatic of people.
You know.
When he wants to get his point across, he tends to lay it on with a trowel, you know? - Hey! Stop running! - Berk.
Even I've come close to thumping him a couple of times.
I'll take him to the industrial tribunal first.
Grantly, Andrew's presence here is giving us a lot of brownie points with the LEA.
Brown-nosing points, you mean.
At the moment, he's the only thing standing between you and the dole office.
So I suggest you get back to your class, show Ms Davenport what we're made of and leave the rest to me, all right? I've just left the inspector in your class.
Right, we've got an open day to organise, haven't we? - (Chatting) - Quiet.
Apologies for my tardiness Ms Davenport, but I had to get these copied.
Assistant's off sick.
As usual.
- Good morning, Mr Budgen.
- Oh, yes.
Morning.
Right, quiet, you lot! Let's get cracking.
Open your homework jotters.
Mm.
Mm.
So, you can see what we're up against here, can't you? He's dyslexic, aren't you, Peter? IE, thick.
Right, er Right, take one and hand the rest on.
Right so you all know what this is called? T rex, innit? Sir, did dinosaurs do drugs? You and I should have a little chat about your drugs obsession, Lewis.
just ignore him.
He's only trying to wind you up.
I'm entitled to ask questions, right? It's like two different animals, innit? Like, teeny hands at the front, like a squirrel, and then great, big legs at the back.
Like a tiger.
That's an excellent observation, janeece.
Can you think why his limbs developed differently? - He's a hunter, in't he? He chases stuff.
- That's right.
- Not as big as yours.
- Shut up, you.
It's interesting.
And what d'you think about his arms? Look pretty useless, if you ask me.
Absolutely, Lewis.
They wouldn't have been much use at all.
- So he was pretty rubbish, then? - No.
There are very successful predators alive today without any arms or legs at all.
- Like a shark.
- Exactly! There are some people who actually compare Tyrannosaurus rex with a Great White.
Right.
Er well, we'll take ten minutes to look around this room.
And like I said before, do not touch anything.
Has anyone seen Miss Haydock? - There she is.
- (All laugh) So she sat there, right, just scribbling away in her little jotter pad.
D'you know what really gets me about the LEA? It's who checks up on them? Who follows them around with a little jotter pad? So, it's out, then? About you and me.
I mentioned it to jack, just in case it leaked.
Yeah, well, it has.
I've just had the once-over from Kim.
Still, it's better than making an announcement.
- I can, if you want.
- No.
Everyone'll find out soon enough, especially when you've got a separate address.
Would you come with me tonight to see the flat? I'm hopeless at asking the right questions.
I'm going out tonight.
You're gonna have to cope on your own sometime.
True.
- Steph.
- Mr Treneman.
- Where the heck have you been? - Oh, look at you, all in a panic.
You can't run off without saying something! Well, I found a nice coffee shop on the first floor, so I just thought I'd sneak a cappuccino while you were doing your dinosaur thing.
Apparently, there's a lovely gift shop downstairs.
In case you haven't noticed, we've got a dozen delinquent kids to look after! D'you know something? When you're angry, you are very attractive.
It's hard, isn't it? You know, having the kids around all the time, - not a second alone.
- Miss Haydock The kids will be creating havoc.
I'd better get back.
.
.
to show the community that it is as much a part of the school as Waterloo Road is a part of the community.
- Say that again, that last bit.
- Sorry, er, part of the community.
Yeah? Right, that's it.
- It that enough jargon for you? - We wanna chuck in some of your multicultural expertise.
Right, OK.
Erm OK, how about this? Miss Campbell, head of pastoral, will be there to answer questions on the ethnic diversity within the school.
Erm Ooh.
Ooh, and the steps that we take to ensure - Slow down.
- Sorry.
- .
.
the steps we take to ensure Yeah? - Yes.
.
.
that each child is treated equally and with respect, regardless of race, religion or culture.
Brilliant.
Add a couple of coloured graphics, Estelle, a couple of happy, smiling kids' faces and whatnot, and the school logo, - we got ourselves a decent brochure.
- (Bell) Chlo.
I spoke to Alison and she said something about you and Donte having some sort of pact.
Pact? What you talking about? - I'm not stupid, Chlo.
- I never said you were! Look, Mum, she's a shrink.
I don't know, she just kept on waffling on in a load of mumbo-jumbo.
Are you saying she confused you? Well yeah, to be honest.
I don't even know what half of it meant.
- You better not be lying to me, Chlo.
- I'm not! Mum, I swear.
- Can I have my phone back now? - What for? You keep on going on about how I don't get to see my mates.
Well, how am I supposed to know what they're doing if they can't contact me? Any more nonsense and I'll confiscate it for good.
Clarence? Yeah, it's really important.
I have to see Donte.
You need to come and pick me up from school.
Lunch time.
OK.
Yeah, all right.
Bye.
- A lot of staff - There we are.
Hey! Look at that.
You pulled out all the stops there, love.
Thanks.
just hope it does some good.
just got to work out how to flaming well run it now.
Yeah.
Heather.
- How's it going? - Not bad.
I've just been to Mr Budgen's class.
He doesn't think much of the children, does he? He's er a tad old-fashioned, but he knows how to control a class.
Have you seen these? The open day I was telling you about.
Great.
May I take one for the file? Kim was just telling me that Miss Haydock and Mr Treneman are out on a trip.
- Yeah.
- You may be surprised to hear this, but it has been known for some heads to shunt problem staff and kids off for the day to avoid them being assessed.
- We've got nothing to hide here.
- We didn't want to disappoint the children.
- Yeah.
- I see.
- (Bell) - Well, looking forward to lunch.
And the opportunity to talk to the pupils.
They're the ones that really know the school inside out.
- Yeah.
- See you later.
- You need to go.
- Yeah.
- I hope your mam knows about this.
- Yeah, she does.
Been looking forward to my school dinner.
Perk of the job.
Don't be expecting too much.
We haven't gone all jamie Oliver yet.
- Yes, chips, please.
- D'you know what? - Excuse me, Hayley.
I think I'll join you.
- I don't mean to be rude, but I want to mingle with the kids and have a chat with them on my own.
Chlo, listen.
This time, don't you let my boy down.
OK, everybody, time to finish up.
I'm afraid no one's going anywhere.
Well, there's Mr Clarkson.
He's a dead good teacher, isn't he, girls? He's gorgeous.
- What about Haydock, though? - (Girls) Oh I mean, my nan, she thinks croissants are called crescents and she can teach better French than what Haydock does.
It's dead important for some people.
You know, Clare, she wants to go into travel.
- Well, what? What have they taken? - A dinosaur's tooth.
Well, a replica of one.
I'm so terribly sorry.
I'll get it back for you immediately.
Seddon, turn out your pockets.
And your bag.
- Why? I've done nothing.
- Pockets, come on.
Actually, sir, we caught it on the CCTV.
It wasn't him, it was the girl with the hair.
- janeece? - Ha! Yeah, that's her.
janeece I was gonna put it back, honest.
I was just feeling it.
You apologise to the gentleman.
I'm sorry.
- I weren't gonna nick it.
- I'm terribly sorry.
- Let's get them out of here.
Fast.
- I thought we were going to the restaurant.
We don't want their pots and pans to go missing, do we? Right, everybody out.
janeece, you stick by me, where I can keep an eye on you.
I didn't mean to ruin the day.
I'm sorry.
I've just never been to a place like this before.
I really like this dinosaur stuff.
- You shouldn't have taken it.
- I know.
I just got carried away.
Mum always says I never know when to stop.
I'm really sorry, sir.
Come on.
(Buzzer) So? What did the solicitor say? - What? - It's no good, son.
No.
Wh.
.
why? What did you say? - That I was driving, like we agreed.
- And? They think I'm lying, just to get you off.
Your solicitor reckons it'll do you more harm than good to push it.
I'll, er I'll get a brew.
I'm sorry.
I did try.
What are we gonna do now, then? We gotta tell the truth.
What? We can't.
You've got to tell them what you did.
- Chlo, I'm looking at 14 years in here.
- What'll happen to me? - What d'you mean, what'll happen to you? - I can't go to prison, Donte.
I can't! But I can.
Is that it? Right.
Well, at least I know the score.
- There's no saying they'll find you guilty.
- What? Are you saying if you were on the jury you'd find me innocent? Well, yeah.
Listen, all you've got to do is find yourself a dead good lawyer You're talking crap, man! Go on, get out! You two, keep the noise down.
What the hell is going on? Well?.
Nothing.
Look, the real reason the car crashed, Dad is because she was climbing all over me! I couldn't see a thing.
I'm not lying any more, yeah? I can't I can't stand it in here! - Donte, please don't - No! I want you to tell my solicitor that I'm changing my plea.
I'm not guilty.
There you are.
I was hoping to catch up a little, before you left.
- So far, so good? - Erm I'm not without hope.
- I think the school has potential.
- Potential.
Right.
But I have to be honest with you.
I do have my concerns.
Come on, you lot, hurry up.
That'll teach you for getting them fired up about the dinosaur thing.
It just gets them wanting stuff they can't have, if you ask me.
God knows what we're gonna do with them now.
We can't go back whilst the inspector's still there.
Well, I don't know.
- Fish and chips? - Good.
Lock 'em in.
I'll be five minutes.
Miss what's going on? We're all starving here.
Let me get on.
Look, I want to do everything I can for the welfare of my school.
Then you need to be honest with me.
And yourself.
For example, Steph Haydock.
She gets poor reports from the pupils, she has disappointing coursework results and then, miraculously, she disappears on a trip so I'm unable to do her classroom assessment.
I suggest you look for the weak spots in your school and do something about them before it's too late.
Look, Heather, I You know what I think would be good? If you and me went for a nice meal together.
Somewhere away from the school, where we could have a good old natter about what it is the council's worried about.
I'm free tonight.
I'm sorry.
Erm I've already made plans.
But I'd love to come to the open day.
- You? - Yes.
Sounds like it'll be great.
(Mobile buzzes ) How's it going? No! You can't come back.
She's still here.
You'll have to go round the block a couple of times, all right? Yeah.
Yeah, OK.
OK, bye.
Oh, I'm bursting! If we don't get off here now I'm gonna pee in my pants.
Me, too, janeece.
- The honking of fish on this bus! - Shut up, everyone.
- We'll be off in a minute.
- Oh, I mean it! All right, driver.
just go round one more time and then drop us off.
Hiya.
What's wrong? It's Donte.
- He's dumped me.
- But I thought you were getting engaged.
It's finished.
There is something else, though.
I think I think he might try and blame me for the crash.
You're joking me.
But I didn't do it, Mika.
I swear.
I only said I was driving to get him out.
I know.
I know.
Don't worry.
We'll talk to Mum.
We'll get it all sorted, OK? I can't believe he's tried to pin this on you! He's no good, Chlo.
You're better off without him.
I hope you don't think I'm being too negative.
Look, erm Your words haven't fallen on deaf ears.
You can trust me to do the right thing.
And, er, I look forward to seeing you at the open day.
Maybe we could have that meal.
(Steph) Come on, you lot, get a move on.
Welcome back to the house of fun.
Hey, Michelle, you've got good taste.
If I was 20 years younger, I'd be after him meself.
Miss Haydock, I presume? Yeah.
Well, I'll leave that situation with you.
Bye, jack.
You poor thing.
You look exhausted.
- How did the inspection go? - Look, Steph, erm can I have a word? Yeah.
Yeah, I was thinking the same thing meself.
- What you doing after work? - In my office.
After school, yeah? Right.
My mam's gonna hear about this.
You practically kidnapped us.
(Bell) Sorry, jack.
Couldn't keep them on that bus a minute longer.
Don't worry about it.
Listen, have you got a minute? I need to run something by you.
Is the plug about to be pulled? Maybe.
Maybe not.
It depends on what I do about Steph Haydock.
The thing is, we both know she can't teach for toffee.
So I'm thinking of letting her go.
Brave decision.
Steph's out of her depth.
It sets a precedent, shows other members of staff that we mean business.
It's definitely the right thing to do.
Yeah.
Yeah, I thought you'd say something like that.
janeece.
Come here.
It's, er for you.
Thank you, sir.
No, seriously, though, just enjoy it and chill out.
- Yeah, I will.
See you tomorrow.
- All right.
Bradley Road.
Does anybody know where it is? Isn't it right down by the fire station? Corner of Laybury.
You're joking.
I thought it was over near North Street.
- I'm gonna be late.
- Oh, for Pete's sake.
I'll take you.
- Are you sure, Iz? - Yeah, Mika and Chlo will be fine for a bit.
Hurry up, before I change my mind.
- So, did you have fun, then? - Well, I would have.
In the right company.
Oh, what, did the kids play up? It's just Andrew.
I mean, I know he's a very nice man, but between you and I, I don't think women are his thing.
What, you're saying you think that Andrew's gay? Well, I'm not saying gay, necessarily.
Oh, well, whatever he is, he's not my type.
Right, well, I'm off to touch up my make-up.
I've got a date with jack later.
Hm.
Not sure it's going to be very romantic Anyway, d'you think we should thrash out the plans for your open day this evening? Mm.
D'you know, you actually look quite normal in your civvies.
Erm might nip to the offie, as the kids call it.
Get us a bottle of wine.
What, to help us concentrate? Take a seat, Steph.
Oh, jack.
You look so stern.
Relax.
I don't bite, you know.
Well, I do sometimes.
(Laughs ) Tell me about your day.
Was it terrible? I can tell you one thing.
I do not work well under pressurised circumstances and neither do the children.
It's her, isn't it? Making your life a nightmare.
Look, Steph.
Erm I've got something to say and it's not very easy.
So I'm just gonna say it.
I'm gonna recommend to the governors that you no longer teach at this school.
I'm sorry? Did I hear you right? It's her, isn't it? Poisoning your mind against me.
I made the decision.
On my own.
But why? Can I ask you why? Is it the thing about the missing coursework? Cos I can tell you, jack, you have got no proof whatsoever.
And I will certainly cite unfair dismissal.
It's nothing to do with the coursework.
Frankly, I think you're out of your depth.
- I don't think you know where you're going.
- No, no, no, this is Thrupp Street, right? - I think Is that it? - Here we go.
- Yeah, that's it.
- Number three, Bradley Street.
- Interesting.
- Right (Dog barking) (Bottle clattering) Nice one.
If you're an 18-year-old freeloader who wants to live in a squat.
Apparently, it's a self-contained flat within the house.
With its own bedroom, bathroom and kitchenette.
Well, it sounds very nice.
- You're coming in with me, aren't you? - Want me to? Yeah, well, I want to make the right impression.
It's always better being with a woman.
Be better still if you took those stupid things off the bottom of your trousers.
Oh! Steph! Steph! - (Under breath) Flipping hell.
- (Toilet flushes ) You can't do this to me, jack.
If you sack me, you'll ruin me.
You'll You can't do this to me! I'm the headmaster.
I can.
- Look, talk to your union rep tomorrow.
- Get your hands off me! You won't do this to me.
For one I'll have you up for sexual harassment.
- I only touched your arm! - Oh, yeah.
But you've touched so much more than that in the past, haven't you? - I beg your pardon? - Oh, don't come the innocent with me.
- You know what you did.
- We! We both You wore me down with your flirtatious looks and your suggestive comments.
Until I had no choice but to go out for a drink with you.
And then And then you told me that if I didn't sleep with you, I'd lose me job.
So you dragged me into a restaurant toilet and forced me to have sex with you.
Oh, yeah.
I think the LEA would be very interested to hear how you blackmailed me.
I mean it, jack.
I'll have you up on a charge.
- Thanks a lot.
Take care.
- Thanks.
(Both laugh) It was a cellar.
They wanted me to live in a flaming cellar.
No.
It was a cellar conversion.
No.
It was a cellar with a bed and a lamp in it.
I think you're just being finicky now.
- D'you think they were swingers? - What? Well, they just had that look about them.
God knows what they'd have tried on while I was asleep.
Come to think of it, I'm sure I seen some handcuffs poking out from under the bed.
You are joking, aren't you? Course I'm joking.
Right, where to next? Back to my place.
Sorry.
I'm not supposed to be saying that sort of thing, am I? No.
You're not.
To be honest, Iz, this is killing me.
Being with you all day and then not.
(Sighs ) Oh, I I've had enough of this flat-hunting thing.
I just want to call it a day.
D'you mind dropping me off back at mine? Yeah.
If that's what you want.
Yeah, I think that would be best.
(Car starts ) (Music playing, quietly) - Don't mind the music, do you? - No.
I like to have it on when I'm working late, you know.
Oh, damn it.
I haven't got a Corkscrew? Well, I'd ask you in but you'll only refuse.
Thanks for the lift.
I'll see you tomorrow.
See you tomorrow.
Tom, we've got to stop this once and for all.
I'm sorry.
My fault, as well.
I like the way you say stop.
Like it's an easy thing to do, to stop all these feelings we have for each other.
I can't do this.
Let's go inside.
I wasn't planning on this.
Me neither.
Are you OK? Fine, thanks.
You? Fine.
- I need a glass of water.
- I'll get it.
No.
I'll get it.
See, the problem's gonna be getting the parents to come.
We'll send letters home with the children.
Blimey.
Now, why didn't I think of that? No, it's not how to tell them.
It's about actually getting them to come on the day.
You know, half of them won't remember the date.
They're not exactly big on personal organisers round here.
And the other half just won't wanna come.
- We could bribe them.
- With what? - Old jotters? - (Laughs ) Cheese and wine? That's actually not a bad idea.
In fact, if we chucked in a couple of cases of bitter, oh, they'd be flocking! I love your sense of humour.
Although I do think you use it as a defence mechanism.
And what am I defending me from? Myself.
From you? No, I mean you should have said "defending myself".
Reflexive pronoun.
And I'm the one supposedly with the defence mechanism.
(Sighs ) Tom.
What we did tonight should never have happened.
Never, ever have happened.
I'm sorry, Iz, but it has.
We can't change that.
I don't even know how it did.
I didn't even see it coming.
I just woke up one day and I knew, and now I can't stop it.
Good.
I mean, not not good, but you're saying you feel the same way, aren't you? Look, Tom, don't think this is gonna be an easy ride.
This is just the beginning.
There's gonna be all sorts of complications.
People are gonna talk.
We've got Chlo and Mika to think about and then there's Lorna.
There is no way I am gonna do this behind her back.
- I want us to tell her tonight.
- I'm not sure that's a good idea.
Tom if we're gonna do this, then we're gonna do it properly, which means we'll come clean and face the consequences, yeah? - OK.
- (Car door shuts ) OK.
- (Door opens ) - (Lorna ) Hello.
Now, Tom.
- Hi, Lorna.
- Hi.
Izzie gave me a lift to the viewings.
Couldn't face the bike.
Any good ones? Please tell me there were.
Well, we don't want to hold you up, do we, Iz? You've got the girls to get back to.
Lorna, there's something we need to talk to you about.
Izzie and I have got footie tomorrow, so if you fancy another spa I'll see you tomorrow.
Thanks again for the lift.
You shouldn't have.
He's got to get used to being single again, you know.
Don't worry.
It'll be the last.
- Bye.
- Bye, Iz.
Look, just let me out now and I swear I won't breathe a word to anyone.
Oh, so you want to keep this our little secret, eh, Miss? Yeah.
It's not fair.
We all got in that car.
We all went along with it.
S so, you remember what happened? What you doing? You can't lay a finger on me! - Did you see me attempt to touch him? - Not a finger, Headmaster.