We Might Regret This (2024) s01e06 Episode Script

If you could just get over Jo being
around. Stop using your best friend
as a buffer between us.
Where is the line between PA
and friend, hmm?
What are the boundaries, Susan?
Sam died, but everybody else just
carried on moving forward.
Except us.
Well, we've been coming here
since 1999.
We still come every year.
I bring my boy.
Oh, fuck, a thesaurus.
Honestly, you argue like you have
a fucking word count on.
Did it impress Jane?
Cos it does nothing for me.
I am bone fucking dry.
We'd been together since we were 18.
I know what he's thinking just
from the way he's shaking his leg.
I'm not going to see her get hurt
again, Jo.
That makes two of us.
Oh, my God.
You're fucking Levi.
FREYA LAUGHS
Just kidding.
That would be like the worst thing
that you could ever do.
I need tonight to be perfect.
I mean, it's the worst
day of the year for Abe.
And I get that.
So, I was thinking
maybe we should
do up the house beautifully
and get enough alcohol to poison
a regional rugby team.
You don't have to do all this,
you know.
Yeah, I know, I just feel like a bit
of a spare part today,
and I want to do something for Abe.
And what about Levi?
He's fine.
Well, I wouldn't say fine.
I just don't think you need to
be trying so hard.
Yeah, I won't. I don't. I'm not.
I mean, it'll be casual,
but, er
There's plenty of room.
Lovely.
In a way that facilitates but
doesn't really tread on anyone.
Facilitates?! Yeah.
Shut the fuck up.
I'm going to put this on your lap.
Fine.
I'm going to get some chips.
I could sing!
Ha!
Can I have one now or
do I have to wait?
So what would you like to
talk about today?
Mm.
Abe thought it would be a
good idea to have therapy
on the anniversary
of our son's death.
Not THIS son.
What does this anniversary normally
entail for you as a family?
We normally do some of Sam's
favourite activities,
like the arcade and Bronco Brian's.
They eat from the kids' menu.
It's, you know, Sam's day.
It's meant to be fun.
Abe, why don't you start, then?
Yeah.
For me, when Sam died,
I don't think I ever felt
that there was room
to express emotion.
I mean, Jane was very much,
um, prioritising herself
and Levi was so overwhelmed
I went into survival mode,
I think I was literally a child.
I was a little boy. I just had to
step up and I had to look after him.
OK, I'm just going to catch you up
quickly.
My parents project their grief
on to me,
while meanwhile sort of glorifying
Sam, when actually, you know,
in reality he was like sort
of a little bit of a twat.
A twat whom I loved but
All right. You know,
like all normal 15-year-old boys,
he was a very lovely twat.
OK, you don't have to use
language
I'm expressing my feelings
just like you told me to, Dad.
I just realised he's been dead
as long as he was alive.
That's quite significant.
How does it make you feel?
Well
..I feel
..quite hungry?
A little bit bored, to be honest,
because obviously I have heard quite
a lot of these revelations before.
Just restless to get on
with the fun part of the day.
Literally none of those were
emotions!
Do I have to feel sad today?
I have spent years feeling sad.
I sense that we've all been
summoned here
to provide an audience
for Abe's emotions.
And that's fine,
that's what you need.
I will hold this space for you
but it has very little to do with us
and so I don't see why
I should have to say anything.
For anyone still unclear,
she's bored.
All I'm saying is
I know shitty anniversaries.
What?
You know, my second birthday,
the anniversary of my accident?
Oh, right.
That awful celebration
that my family butchers every year.
Yeah, I feel like you should have
a PhD in shitty anniversary days.
I know. Remember that time
the entire class bussed down to the
rehabilitation centre,
and they sat there singing
# You raise me up#
Yeah.
# So I can climb#
I wore the party hat and they cried.
OK, so I had this idea,
and don't jump down my throat,
but I found these old home movies
and pictures of Sam
and I was thinking of making
a video for tonight.
Or is that creepy? No, I think
that's actually really sweet.
Really? But no music.
Definitely no music,
and that's where it stops, yeah?
Cos otherwise it starts to look
like it's about you.
No releasing doves.
Oh, shit, I left them in the cab!
Just pop it over there.
The I'm sitting on it.
Don't micromanage me!
Worry about your own jacket.
You don't have to fold it for me.
If I want it folded, I'll fold it.
Jane, you've gone very quiet.
Oh, I'm not saying anything.
You know you can say anything here.
Shall we test that hypothesis?
Abe?
You are quite understandably
terrified of losing
your remaining son
and so you've overprotected Levi
and stunted his growth.
And you do the opposite
of everything he says
because it's the only way you can
feel in control over your own life.
OK, great.
Can I go and get a bloody omelette
now or at least a slice of your fee?
He died for no reason.
No-one to blame.
It was horrific!
It stole the meaning
from everything.
And I loved you both so much,
but I couldn't stay.
And so I left.
Can you believe that they've
never been to therapy?
I'm so glad that they're going.
They're British. Feeling guilty
and repressed is kind of their MO.
Yeah, but there's more to it
than that.
Well, onwards with Sam's day,
I guess.
Mmm. The arcade won't know
what's hit it.
Mmm.
My appetite has certainly shifted
from eggs to vodka.
How's the movie coming along?
Yeah, Sam was super sweet.
Kind of feels like flowers
and blinis just aren't enough.
Are you fucking kidding me?!
You know what I mean.
Is that Levi?
Oh, yeah.
Ah, look at the little creep.
You've made this a beautiful home
to come and celebrate in.
Even I kind of like it.
Mmm. Yeah, and this video is
very thoughtful and loving.
Aw, thank you.
Feels really nice having you here.
Especially now that you're no longer
shit at your job.
Oh, good, I thought today was going
to be really depressing.
Where's your mate?
He is, er,
actually on a Kenyan safari,
learning the ways of the Maasai.
What, really?!
No, I don't fucking know.
Dad, can you tell Freya something?
Hold on, what?
I don't know, can you just tell her
to stop trying so hard.
What do you mean? I don't know,
she just doesn't get boundaries.
Like, one second she's trying to be
all matey and then the next
she's trying to be nurturing
and it's just like, "Stop it,
stop trying so hard."
You know Freya's life changed
when she was a kid as well.
Oh, really? Did her brother die?
No.
But she nearly did.
She might understand you
better than you think.
SPAGHETTI WESTERN-STYLE MUSIC
Middle.
Coward.
So, how are you?
Great.
I can't tell
if you're being sarcastic.
I'm not, I'm not.
No, I'm sort of
..tentatively doing very well.
That's great. Mmm.
So the food truck's helping?
No, no, not remotely.
Um
But I've actually met someone,
er
..special, I think.
What?!
Well, that's fantastic!
What's she like?!
How do you know they're a she?
Er, er, um, no.
I mean, I wasn't
You're free to date whomever
you want. I mean, that's cool.
You know, I just It's just
you've dated women in the past
so I just kind of
Got him! There you go.
I win!
LEVI CLEARS HIS THROA
Unlucky. OK.
AEROSOL HISSES
Ohhh!
Aargh!
Oh, ah!
SQUELCHING
So, are you going to elaborate on
this, um, special someone?
Er, don't know.
Haven't really thought
what I'm going to about it yet.
You mean like taking it deeper?
Urgh, it's disgusting
when YOU say it, but, yeah,
something along those lines.
Well, listen, if you're asking
my advice, and I know you're not,
but if you were, I would say
if this person is a good person,
'king get in there.
That's gross, Dad,
keep it in your pants.
SQUELCHING
Hello?
Jane! You still have keys?
Where are Abe and Levi?
I thought they were with you
at Bronco Brian's?
No, no, that's their thing.
I have my own teenage traditions.
Um, is it? Sorry, is this you?
Er, yeah, Freya went for a white
theme.
You know, like bright white
but like not too.
It's so lovely,
um, the only thing is Abe has
He's really funny about lilies.
It's the scent of funerals.
Last time, er, he smelt lilies
he just Well, you don't want
to know what he did.
Do you mind if I just?
I'm going to have to
If that's all right? Oh, of course.
Jane, hi.
Huey.
Oh. How are you?
Oh, thank you.
Come in!
MUSIC PLAYS SOFTLY
Yeah, too late, I guess.
Yeah, that sounds Yeah?
Oh, hello. Oh, hey.
Hi, this is stunning, isn't it?
Yeah, wow.
It's normally just pizza and beer.
Hey, how was today?
It was interesting, yeah.
Good, I think.
I'm still processing but, er,
I think this, er, open communication
thing of yours might be working.
I better get ready for speeches
before everyone gets shit-faced.
Plus, if we're sober, people are
less likely to burst into
Wonderwall.
Can I smell lilies? Um
Hi, house looks incredible.
So, yeah, well done.
Thank you.
Um, could I? Jo, listen.
I just wanted to say, um
No.
Er No, actually, yeah.
Have you eaten today?
I can get you something if you
No, I Jo, I think
what I'm trying to say is
Just, um, I
..think that
..I am getting feelings for you.
I Well, no, I know I am.
And, um
I know sort of like instinctively
at this point in time, like, I
I-I want to act like a horrible
little prick and ghost you but
I have this instinct this time,
right now, is to
..to not do that
and to carry on.
Sorry I'm being so weird
Mm-hm. I'm trying
I'm trying really hard to be normal
and it's backfiring and making it
worse. Mm.
You can Mmm. ..say something.
Um
OK, everybody, grab a glass
and let's, er, and gather round.
Shall we go and listen to a speech?
Er, yes, please. Come on!
I'll do it here, I'll make it brief,
I promise. Come on, boy.
Yeah, I'm here. Hello, mate.
Look at that, hey.
The terrific bunch of adults
you've all grown.
Woo! ..up to be, eh?
Yes, thank you, Jamie.
Shane. Shane.
Shane.
Sorry.
Er, but, no,
it'sit's everything that
To know that Sam is
..is carried in the hearts
of every person in this room.
So, cheers.
ALL: Cheers.
Woo!
CLAPPING
And, listen, yeah, and you've
probably noticed as well
that rather than our usual
frat-house vibe, er, we've got
a house that looks utterly
beautiful.
Freya, thank you.
I love you.
CHEERING
I, um, actually made a little video,
um, that I just want to share
with everyone
but, never mind,
er, it's not a good time.
Freya made a video for you all,
and
..and itand it's beautiful
and we should all go and watch it.
So please go into the other room
and watch it. How amazing. Let's go.
Oh, interesting.
New addition.
ALL: Aww!
Um, um, um, um.
Hello, boy!
Hello! And who's that?
Mr, er? I'm Mr Policeman.
What's that in your hand?
Handcuffs, in case you're naughty.
CHUCKLING
Oh, uh-oh.
Hello, Sammy. Here he comes.
Get out the way! Have you got pants
on your head, Levi?
Hello, Mummy!
Careful, you're going to pull
his arms off!
Jane!
Gently!
Look at him. Amazing. Nice. So cool.
GUEST: Ah, that was amazing.
Good job, Freya.
That was so good.
That was a really hard watch.
But, thank you.
Um
Sam would've really liked you.
Thanks.
What was that?
Was that some kind of art project?
Oh, my God, no.
I just thought
it would be a way to
It's not a way to anything, Freya.
But I was just
It is not your job to mourn my son!
Freya?
That was beautiful.
Abe is really angry.
Oh, fuck Abe.
Abe talks a good game
but when it comes to actually
feeling the feelings,
he does tend to fumble the ball.
I don't know, I just
feel like I completely got it wrong.
No, I'd forgotten half those videos
even existed.
Sorry, is this bothering you?
Smoking round the side of the house
is part of my tradition for today.
You know what else I did?
I baked hash brownies
and I watched porn.
I think actually your tradition
is much closer
to a 15-year-old's perfect day.
I think you're so brave.
Abe has so much baggage,
there's very few people
who would take that on.
We all have it, though, like
Yeah.
You know,
whether you can see it or not.
Listen, Jane, I know that
..I haven't lost a child
TEARFULLY: ..but I do know
what it's like
to have life turn out
completely different
..from what you thought
it was going to be.
And, you know, I just realised
it's like it doesn't matter
how you get through it,
it's just that you
..you do.
You get through it.
Fuck, yeah, well, yes, I
Yeah, I couldn't agree more.
Do you want to finish that?
It's making me want to hurl.
Me too.
Oh, fuck.
You know she made that video
because she loves you.
You should be nicer to her.
Hey, Freya told me how it happened.
That you were home
the day that Sam died.
You sent your teenage son to bed
with a headache.
So what? That doesn't make you
a shitty parent.
Anyone would have done
the same thing.
It's not your fault.
Well, I'm never doing that again.
Look, I know you fucking hate me,
but we have to make this work.
This isn't your home, Jo.
You might be good for Freya,
but you're not good for us.
Hey, Rory.
I'm Scott. Scott, of course.
Yes, sorry.
Listen, um, it really does mean
a lot to us that you guys have
just continuously shown up for Sam
these last 15 years.
Um
I didn't know Sam.
Sorry, I'm just
I'm Richard's boyfriend.
Who's Richard?
Just be nice to my friend.
I'm, er
I'm sorry.
Can you just get Jo, please?
I, I, I was. I was, um
Can you please just get Jo?
Yeah, I think I, um
Jo!
Jo!
Jo!
Jo! Where the fuck is Jo?!
Fre Hey!
Hey, I've been calling,
what have you been doing?
Nothing, just, you know,
I couldn't hear you. You good?
No, obviously not.
Wait. What?
This is who you've been?
Yeah. Yeah, it is.
Well, how predictably
unprofessional.
Dad, come on, it's not her fault.
You don't know
what you're talking about, boy.
Don't speak to me like I'm a child!
Freya and I are pretty much the same
age, you fucking cradle-robber!
Jesus! Freya, can we please just,
you and I just
Oh, a bit of a temperature drop.
Is everything all right?
Yeah, why don't you take a look
at who your son's been fornicating
with.
Yeah, Levi and Jo.
We saw that coming a mile off,
didn't we?
Thank you so much for having me.
Freya, please, it's not a big deal,
it's just
It is a big deal. You've been lying
to me this entire time.
No, I haven't, I've just Yeah
I didn't know what it was.
I love her!
God! I love you, Jo. Shut up!
Come on, what's wrong with that?
I'm just Oh, my God!
Come on! That I'm expressing
myself. Please, Freya.
No, this is classic you, isn't it?
You played it like you're here
to help but YOU needed me.
Yeah, if I didn't need you right
now, I'd tell you to fuck off.
Freya, it's not her fault.
Oh, now you want to talk to me?
Listen to me, don't worry
about them, they just need time.
I can't believe I stuck around here
for so fucking long.
Hey.
You can come and stay with me.
Where?
Mummy's couch or Daddy's truck?
Er
I meant what I said downstairs.
I love you.
I can't do this right now. Ah, OK.
HE CLEARS HIS THROA
Freya, can we talk?
I need to pee. Yep.
Freya
Jo, let's leave.
What?
Yeah, now, let's go.
Wait, what?
What are you talking about?
My relationship with Abe,
it's not going to work.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, no.
Freya, stop.
You need to stay here. This is good.
I'm not asking for your opinion.
I'm asking for your help.
I know you always have an escape
plan, an emergency parachute,
so let's go.
Freya, I was wrong about you
and Abe. You should stay.
You worked so fucking hard for this,
you deserve this.
TRICKLING
Are you in love with Levi?
It's been a really long day.
OK? Let's just
Let's just reassess in the morning.
OK?
OK?
OK.
Can you come back in 20 minutes
to help me get ready for bed?
SHE SIGHS
KNOCKING
Knock, knock!
Hello-oo!
Ty? What are you doing here?
What do you mean? Jo called me.
Said she doesn't work here any more.
What?
Home, sweet home.
So what have I missed?
Where's Daddy?
# I do
# Doobe-doobe doobe-doo
# Hey!
# I've gone, gone, gone, gone, yeah
# I do
# Doobe-doobe doobe-doo
# Gone, gone, gone, gone,
gone, gone, yeah
# I do
# I do, doobe-doobe, doobe-do
# Gone, gone, gone,
gone, gone, gone, yeah
# I do, I do
# Doobe-doobe, doobe-doo
# Mmm, yeah #