What I Like About You (2002) s01e06 Episode Script

Come on Gary, let's go.
- Hey, honey.
- Hey, sweetie.
Hey, guys.
Where you headed? Some weird animal rights group is having a protest meeting.
They want to retire some stupid parrot who performs at the dumb zoo.
Ooh, tell me more.
Your passion is contagious.
It's a requirement for Civics class.
Oh, my little Erin Brockovich.
I wish.
Well, you know, I'm going to the protest under protest.
Yeah, see, I don't want Timmy the parrot to retire.
He's my favorite thing at the zoo.
Hmm.
My favorite thing is when one of the monkeys goes off in the corner and starts -- Enjoying their food plate.
- Ready? - Yeah.
Let's go.
Those monkeys are out of control.
- [ giggling .]
- [ giggling .]
Wow! I'm standing right here! Oh, no, no, no, no.
Come here, come here.
God, it's been driving me crazy.
That woman has been coming here every day for the past two weeks! Oh, yeah.
There's nothing worse for a restaurant than repeat customers.
No, no, no, no.
You don't understand.
She comes in here every day by herself.
She sits at the same table.
She doesn't bring a book.
She just eats and looks around for hours! I think she's a spy for the restaurant across the street.
Mm! Or she's one of those crazy people who gets hungry at lunchtime.
You know, if I was her, I would hate to think that total strangers are sitting around trying to figure out -- hey, did she just talk into her lipstick? Hey! Uh-huh What I like about you You really know how to dance When you go up, down, jump around Talk about true romance Yeah Keep on whispering in my ear Tell me all the things that I wanna hear 'Cause it's true What I like That's what I like about you What I like That's what I like about you What I like about you That's what I like about you What I like about you Hey! "P.
A.
R.
R.
O.
T.
-- People Advocating Retirement Rights Of Timmy.
" I'm losing interest already.
This is a horrible misrepresentation.
He stopped wearing that fruit hat three years ago.
Let's just grab some of these pamphlets and get out of here.
Don't forget this one.
My name's Kyle.
I'm kind of in charge of this, so if you have any questions, let me know.
- Wait.
I have questions.
- Yeah? Uh, what can I do to get more involved with helping Timmy? Because, not having a boyfriend and all, I have a lot of time on my hands, and it's something I feel I need to do as a single woman with no boyfriend.
Well, first you can tell me your name.
Holly.
Shh! Go get a cookie! Hey, I have a question, too.
Why don't you leave Timmy alone and retire that old raggedy lion? See, the last time I looked, he didn't have a tooth in his head.
It is just sad -- plain sad -- watching the king of the jungle suck up some jello.
Well, the lion hasn't been forced to perform five shows a day for the past 20 years like Timmy has.
I am sickened! Just tell me where you want me and what you want me to do.
A bunch of us are going to the zoo tomorrow to protest.
I'll be there.
Can I bring my boyfriend? Just kidding.
Don't have one.
Jeff, Jeff.
I've been watching the lone diner.
That's my code name for her.
I'm the barracuda.
Check out my notes.
"Wears no rings.
" Indicating not married.
"Chews her ice.
" Indicating frustration -- possibly sexual.
"Strapless bra"? How could you tell? Oh, no, that's for me.
I need to pick up one for my new dress.
Oh, watch this.
Did you see that? I sure did.
I think the kitchen's being pretty damn generous with the lobster ravioli.
No, she's totally in love with your waiter.
Oh, yeah, I guess that makes sense.
She always sits at Jamie's table and leaves him a really nice tip.
Mm-hmm.
Then that's it.
Mystery solved.
- Yes! - Now, how do I get them together? - No! - Why? Oh, 'cause you're a terrible matchmaker.
No, I'm not.
What about Vicki and your high school buddy A.
J.
? Oh, yeah, that worked out great.
I ran into him at a Knicks game, and he spit on me.
Don't you want them to have what we have? If I let you do this, can we have what we have a little more often? How about right here, right now? What? Yeah, talk's cheap.
Okay, she's clearly interested in him.
But I think she's afraid of rejection, so I just have to find out if he's interested in her.
So I'll take Jamie aside, ask him a few questions, drop a few hints, do a little detective work.
Oh, my God.
Jamie? Yeah? What's up? Table 14, blue sweater -- would you? Absolutely.
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
Anything else, barracuda? Sir, flier? Retire Timmy? Hey.
I'll take a flier.
Great.
That's a total ofone.
This is a disaster.
I'm just gonna bail.
Hey, hey, hey.
That does not sound like the Kyle I've known for almost 13 hours.
Look, these things always start small.
I mean, the global warming movement started when one guy said, "Hey, is it hot out here, or is it just me?" - Wow.
- What? It's just there's something kind of attractive about someone who's so passionate and committed.
Well, I think there's something kind of attractive about people who think passionate and committed people arekind of attractive.
So, you're a real activist, huh? Oh, yeah.
I mean, I believe in lots of stuff.
Like what? Um, air.
Ha ha.
Animals, nukes -- the big ones.
That's awesome.
Once, in the Mojave Desert, I laid down in front of a bulldozer to save a family of prairie dogs.
The desert? Don't prairie dogs live on the prairie? Well, the prairie dogs were lost.
That was the real tragedy.
Listen, could you do me a favor? Yeah.
Speak to these people.
- What? - You're a lot more experienced than I am.
Oh, no, I don't know.
Please? For Timmy? Who? The bird.
Right.
Timmy the bird.
Yeah.
Ahem.
[ bullhorn honks .]
Ahem.
Hello, everyone.
Wait.
Up here.
We're here today in support of Timmy the parrot.
He's old, and we all know how much that can suck, huh? I'm sorry.
II meant the good kind of suck.
Okay, this is why we need to fight for Timmy and be aggressive, people.
Be aggressive! Be, be aggressive! Beaggressive.
Be, be aggressive.
When I say "retire," you say "Timmy!" Retire.
[ All .]
: Retire.
No! You say "Timmy!" Hey, Gary.
[ All .]
: Hey, Gary.
Okay, you really got to work on the "I say, you say" stuff, okay? Where have you been? You're supposed to be protesting.
Oh, I was protesting.
$7 for peanuts? By the way, you know you're making a fool of yourself? What are you talking about? You don't care about Timmy.
You're just doing this to impress that Kyle dude.
And if I were you, I'd be just a little ashamed of myself.
Excuse me, are you with the "Retire Timmy" protest? I'm leading it.
G-a-r-y, I am Gary, a single guy! Say Gary! Say Gary! Say Gary! Say Gary! [ knock on door .]
[ muffled .]
Who is it? It's Kyle.
Um, I'll be right there.
Oh, my God, so cold.
Holly? Um, just give me a second.
Ahh um [ gagging .]
Oh, so, so dizzy.
Hi.
Come on in.
Ha ha.
Is this a bad time? Oh, no, I was actually just getting ready to make my own soap.
In my house, every day is earth day.
You were really great this morning.
Thanks.
Are we alone? Yeah.
I brought something to show you.
Really? A surprise? I love surprises.
You stole Timmy? Isn't it great? And I never would have done it if it wasn't for what you said.
For what I said? Nobody ever listens to what I say, and there's a reason for that.
But what about the bulldozers, and "be aggressive -- be, be aggressive"? Yeah.
Right now I'm a little worried you're going to be arrested -- you know -- be, be arrested.
Kyle, I cannot believe you stole Timmy.
But you were so convincing.
Everything sounds convincing when it comes out of a bullhorn.
Look, what are you going to do with him now? I'm not sure.
But I need you to watch him while I go to the pet store for supplies.
I'll think of something on the way.
No, wait.
Don't leave me here with him.
I'm not really a bird person.
You'll be fine.
We make a great team, huh? Who? You and me.
Oh, right.
Us.
So, Timmy, here we are.
It's just you and me -- a bird and a girl.
[ caws .]
I'll scooch over.
Hello.
I'm just gonna turn on the TV.
Aah! Okay -- ha ha -- or no TV, okay? I'm going to be in here, so aah! Hey, come on in.
Wow! Unbelievable.
This place all yours? Oh, yes.
Welcome to the international house of Gary.
Ihog? Ooh, you make it sound so pretty.
Oh, my God, you weren't kidding about the view! Yeah, go on out.
Take a look.
I'm gonna see what my cook left in the fridge.
Gary, what are you doing here? Come here, come here.
I'm on a date.
You? Yeah! Does she know? Yes, she knows.
She probably knows.
Look, you need to get lost for a couple hours.
No, I can't.
Kyle stole Timmy from the zoo and brought him here.
He stole Timmy? Yes, and now I have to watch him until Kyle gets back.
Well, can you watch him somewhere where I'm not gonna get lucky? That would be here.
Where is Timmy? Oh.
He's over there.
H-hey, Timmy! [ Holly .]
: Gary, no! Oh, my God! Was that Timmy? Yes.
Did you see which way he went? He flew up to the roof.
Oh, my God.
Kyle is going to be so freaked out! What's she doing in your apartment? Uhha ha.
She's my, uh, my decorator.
Ha ha.
I hate this lamp! Gary, come on! We've got to get that bird back! II'll be right back, okay? And we can pick up where we left off.
Rrr! Was that a lawnmower? Do you like lawnmowers? Come on! Hi.
Hi.
I don't want to disturb you, but can I talk to you for a minute? Uh, sure.
Um, okay, I hope you don't mind, but I've been watching you a lot.
Oh, I'm very flattered, but I tried that once in college, And while I felt understood, I -- Oh, no! No! This is not that.
It's just from what I've observed, I get the feeling that you find someone in this restaurant very attractive.
Is it that obvious? No.
I'm unusually perceptive.
Some say gifted.
Anyway, um, I happen to know that if you were to make your feelings clear to him, they would be well received.
Are you sure? Couldn't be surer.
More sure.
Absolutely.
You're right.
I'm going to go for it.
God, I'm good.
Uhit was a pleasure serving you? D'oh! There he is! Let's get him! No, wait, don't run at him! The last time you ran at him, he flew away.
We have to lure him in.
I got some peanuts left over from the zoo.
Oh, that's a great idea.
Here.
[ whistles faintly .]
Birdy want a peanut? They're not fresh-roasted, but they're hot from Gary's pocket.
[ whistles faintly .]
Aah! Aah! That was cool.
Do it again.
Gary! Oh, great! Now where's Timmy? Oh! There he is! How are we going to reach him? Bend down, and I'll climb on your shoulders.
Gary! What? I'm on a date.
I don't want to get my clothes all rumpled.
Yet.
Squat.
Ready? Uh, yeah.
Uh Aah! Bird's trying to bite me.
Oh, way left! Well, you got to admit, he flies pretty good for a bird pushing 50.
Give me a hand.
All right.
Got it? Yeah, I think so.
- All right.
Be careful.
- Okay.
- Holly, be careful.
- Okay.
All right, you got it? Careful.
Come on, you got it.
Aah! - You need some help? - Yes! Okay, well, go up, and try not to slide back down.
[ grunting .]
Ow.
Aah! - Oh! - Gary, help! Holly, hang on! Oh! You got him, you got him! Grab him! With what, my belly button? No.
No, no, no, no, no.
If you take off again, you're dead.
You get it? He got it.
You get it? Oh, my God, birds understand me.
I don't why I've been given this power, but I promise to use it for good.
He's doing a trick from his act.
You must have given him a command or something.
Wait, wait.
Maybe I can get him down.
How? Uh, okay.
It goes ladies and gentlemen, the hardest working bird in show business -- Timmy! I did it, I did it, I did it! I got the bird! Gary? Gary! Birds of New York, this is your leader speaking! Come rescue me! Anybody else coming? How could this have happened? I took such good notes.
I'm gonna go talk to her.
No, no, no, no.
You've done enough talking.
I'll go talk to her.
Uh, excuse me, uh Sheila.
Jeff.
Nice to meet you.
Even though we just sort ofmade out.
Can I talk to you for a sec? Okay.
Listen, I think there was a little miscommunication here.
See, I have a girlfriend, and -- Look, you don't have to explain anything.
I never would have done that if some crazy woman hadn't talked me into it.
Yeah, we do get some grade-a nut jobs in here.
Uh, listen, you've been a really good customer, so I hope you don't feel weird about coming back here.
You're very nice.
And cute.
And of course you're taken.
Your girlfriend is lucky to have you.
She has no idea how lucky.
Been together long? Yeah, you know.
So you guys are really serious? Well, uh, kind of.
Do you love her? Do I love her? I'm sorry.
Is that too personal? - No, it's okay.
- So, do you? Well Well? I -- That's her -- the crazy woman.
Yeah.
They call her the barracuda.
You know Timmy's got to go back to the zoo, right? Oh, yeah.
How are you going to break it to Kyle? Oh, Kyle won't be a problem.
I got him wrapped around my little finger.
Your little finger looks a lot like Karen.
Gary! I don't believe this.
I do not believe this.
I mean, in my house? On my couch? I'm sorry.
It's okay, baby.
We can work it out.
Kyle, I think you better leave.
Okay.
I understand.
You, too, Karen.
Call me.
Aren't you going to give me the bird? I'd love to give you the bird, but I'm holding Timmy.
I know I shouldn't have been eavesdropping, but you sure were taking your sweet time answering that last question.
Well, maybe I didn't want to answer it.
'Cause you don't know? No, because if I was going to say it, I would want to say it to you, not to some stranger.
What if I were to ask that question? I'd answer it.
You sure you want to know? Yeah.
Tell me.
No, don't tell me.
Okay, tell me.
No, II -- I want to hear it when the time is right.
There should be candlelight and champagne.
And I don't want to hear it because you think I want to hear it.
I want to hear it because you want to say it.
Wait.
Do you want to know or not? I want you to know that I wa -- I have a hunch.
Thank you.
Hey.
Hey.
How was your day? Fine.
Anything interesting? Not really.
Watched a girl make out with a guy I like.
Huh.
Me too.