Why Women Kill (2019) s01e06 Episode Script
Practically Lethal in Every Way
1 Previously on Why Women Kill He's a man.
Some of them cheat.
Not Rob.
Not after what happened to our daughter.
I am in love with you.
ROB: You knew the rules.
I will never leave my wife.
Why would he even be with me if he was so happy with her? Maybe she did something to hurt him and he needs time to forgive her.
I moved my lover into our home.
The three of us are officially a throuple.
My agent's gonna drop me if I don't get him my script by tomorrow morning.
- Give me the 50 pages.
- Skip to what sucks.
That would be your lead character.
- What's wrong with Eva? - She waits around for 15 pages hoping a man will save her.
She's a victim.
I hate victims.
Hey, how did you come up with that stuff anyway? Maybe there's more to me than meets the eye.
The man's a drug addict.
Half your savings went up his nose.
Eli has changed.
Hold on, I have something.
Take this.
What happens when he likes her more than you? He said it's the best thing I've ever written.
God, I am so happy for you.
[GIGGLES.]
Are you having an affair? Karl, I believe you're jealous.
Tell me who it is.
Is it one of our friends from the country club? SIMONE: Tommy's back.
Wasn't that lucky, dear.
Seems Tommy was right there in the bedroom, ready to be useful.
Don't you see? We don't need to get a divorce.
We have stumbled into the perfect arrangement.
Everything is not a joke, Karl.
I want a man who loves me so much, that he would kill another man if I slept with someone else.
And I'm never gonna get that from you, am I? No.
"L" is for the way you look At me "O" is for the only one I see "V" is very, very Extraordinary "E" is even more Than anyone that you adore can Love is all That I can give to you Love is more Than just a game for two Two in love can make it Take my heart and please don't break it Love was made For me and you Simone and I used to be very close, back when I was her hairdresser.
Taylor and I were forced to socialize, 'cause I was her husband's agent.
I didn't know Beth Ann at all, even though she was a neighbor.
I used to gossip with her for hours.
She adored me.
I tried to talk to her at parties.
She never got my jokes.
I used to watch her at the market.
She seemed nice.
It's funny about people.
They come into our lives every day and you never know who will play the most important part.
A total stranger might be the one to save you, or destroy you.
To be honest I feel responsible for his death.
I'm not sure anyone would've died if it wasn't for me.
I knew she was going to kill him.
And I am so glad she did.
Oh, Simone.
- What are you doing here? - What a silly question.
You know how much I adore our little gallery.
Oh, please.
You haven't stopped by in months.
Once we begin negotiating our settlement, I know you'll fight for this place.
You'll tell the judge it should go to you because I never helped out.
Well, here I am helping out.
- WOMAN: Excuse me.
- Yes? Hello.
Do you have any Lichtenstein prints? We're talking.
Do you mind? And with charm like that on our sales staff, these paintings should just fly off the walls.
No Tommy today? We spoke this morning.
Oh, yes? Was that on the phone or did you roll over and tap him on the shoulder? I suggested we take a break.
My divorce lawyer feels an ongoing affair with a teenager could make me seem unsympathetic.
You've hired a lawyer? Bernie Morton.
He did my first two divorces, so he knows what I like.
No, no, no.
We-we agreed we weren't gonna get divorced until after Amy's wedding.
We agreed not to announce it till then.
That doesn't mean we can't get the ball rolling.
B-But there's so much coming at us in the next few weeks.
I mean, Amy's Oklahoma in-laws are turning up tomorrow en masse.
Oh, God.
I'm dreading that dinner.
I spoke to Brad's mother for two minutes on the phone.
- I already can't stand her.
- Exactly.
If we're fighting each other, how will we have the energy to properly hate them? After what you've put me through, I have more than enough - rage to go around.
- All right.
Clearly, we need counseling.
I mean, can we at least wait until after we've seen a therapist? It's over.
No more waiting.
Accept it.
[SIGHS.]
: Well.
I guess I've helped enough for one day.
See you at home.
[DOOR OPENS.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[SIGHS.]
- Hey.
- Hey.
Did you see Taylor's text? Uh, no.
I've been writing.
She got on an early flight.
She's gonna be here in a couple minutes.
- Oh, okay.
- So, um, I was wondering, when you want to tell her? Tell her? About last night? And how-how we fucked? [CHUCKLES.]
Oh.
You-you want to mention that.
Well, it happened, so we have to be honest about it, right? Sure.
Yeah.
- Great.
Awesome.
- Yeah.
I do wonder, though, um, what-what do you think Taylor's reaction will be when we tell her? I-I think she'll be cool with it.
I mean, we're in a throuple, she's seen us have sex before.
I-It's it won't be a big deal.
Mm.
Interesting.
That's interesting.
What? You think, you think she might get jealous? Maybe.
Maybe jealous, maybe furious.
I mean, likely furious.
Yeah, but don't you think she'll be angrier if we don't tell her and then she finds out anyway? It well, see? See, that's where the ever-popular "take it to our graves" philosophy would come into play.
You want to keep it a secret? I'll be honest, it's not my first inclination, but hearing you say it out loud, I like it.
Eli.
No.
I [EXHALES.]
We can't.
That-that feels wrong.
That's wrong.
All right, all right, all right.
- You're right.
You're right.
- [CAR APPROACHING.]
Anything less than full honesty is a betrayal.
- Okay.
- [CAR DOOR CLOSES.]
Here she is.
- Make me proud.
- Shit.
- Hi.
- Hey, babe.
How was the flight? Crying babies, bitchy flight attendants, they lost my suitcase and I hate Uber! [DOOR CLOSES.]
What have you guys been up to? Uh nothing much.
[CHUCKLES.]
: Yeah.
Yeah.
Just happy to have this one home.
TAYLOR: Oh, oh - Mm.
- [EXHALES.]
What do you say we put you in a bath, huh? - TAYLOR: Oh, my God.
- You deserve it.
Salt, no salt? So much salt.
Salt it up.
Whatcha doing? I was just trying to think of a place to store all of Nana's linens.
If there's ever a worldwide doily shortage, we'll be sitting pretty.
It is done.
We are now officially unpacked.
I thought you finished weeks ago.
You said you hated seeing all of the unpacked boxes lying around, so I put them all in the attic.
Every day, I would bring one down and empty it.
You lugged all these boxes to the attic? Just so I wouldn't have to look at' em? It was nothing.
You do so many things each day to please me.
Things I don't even notice.
And I want to notice them, so I can thank you.
I don't need to be thanked.
You know, I've been working a lot of late nights the past few months.
This project I've been involved with, it's almost over.
- It is? - Yeah.
Once I'm done, we'll get back to a normal schedule.
I'll be home in time for dinner, every night.
That would make me very happy.
So, we're finally moved in.
How should we celebrate? Hey.
Why not throw a party? Like a housewarming thing? Yes, we can invite all the neighbors.
There's so many I haven't met yet.
Oh.
Let's do it next Saturday.
- That would be wonderful.
- Fantastic.
You want me to throw this box away for you? Oh, not just yet.
There's still some photos in there.
I was going to put those in the cupboard upstairs.
[STAMMERS.]
Maybe we should leave this one out.
Really? You said it upset you.
Eh, that was a while ago.
[SETS PICTURE DOWN.]
It hurts to remember, but it'd be worse to forget.
You're absolutely right.
Simone, we're going to be late.
I'm coming.
Hold your horses.
Amy.
Are you coming with us to the dinner? We assumed you'd be going with Brad and his family.
I was with them all day.
I need a break.
Oh, are they really that bad? Do you know much about tractors? Um, no.
You will by dessert.
I think you deserve a drink.
I'm sure Brad is very pleased that you're making such an effort.
Trust me, I'm sucking up like crazy.
And if I make a good impression, his parents might buy us a house.
- Ooh.
- A house? As a wedding gift? Darling, we really need to rethink those fondue forks.
Their farm sits on millions of gallons of oil.
So whatever you think of them, be nice.
- I'm always nice.
- Really nice.
Not bitchy nice.
You're tying my hands, but fine.
- [PHONE RINGING.]
- Don't pick up.
- We're late.
- Uh, don't worry, we've got one of those newfangled machines that takes a message.
You know, I don't know - how we lived without it.
- [MACHINE BEEPS.]
BERNIE [OVER PHONE.]
: Simone, Bernie Morton here.
I'm working on your divorce paperwork, but I still need some financial forms, so Bernie, it's not a good time.
I'll talk to you tomorrow.
You're getting divorced again? Now, Amy Right before my wedding? It won't affect you.
Brad's parents are not going to buy me a house if they think I was raised by a woman who's never had a marriage last longer than a breath mint.
You're blaming me? After three husbands, yes.
What's your excuse this time? It's a charming story.
Y-Yes, well, we-we both have charming stories, but I don't want to bore you with a lot of what we Brits call, um, tommyrot.
Fine.
Let's just go.
Tommyrot? Really, Karl? You're hilarious.
At last, we agree on something.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
Good morning.
I'm Beth Ann Stanton, your new neighbor.
My husband and I just moved in down the street.
I-I know who you are.
Well, I hear your name is Mary.
Mary Vlasin.
It's nice to officially meet you.
MAN [CALLING OUT.]
: Mary! That your husband? Uh, yes.
Now's not a good time.
I'll be quick.
I have something for the two of you.
It's the reason I dropped by.
It's an invitation.
Rob and I are throwing a housewarming party on Saturday; nothing fancy.
Just finger food and beer.
We'll be having some old friends, and hopefully some new ones.
[CHUCKLES.]
I can't remember the last time I went to a party.
MAN: Mary! Uh, do you think you might be able to make it? I'm just doing a head count.
I don't know, um I was coming.
I was just, uh, talking to our new neighbor.
Oh, hello there.
I didn't realize we had company.
I'm Beth Ann Stanton.
I've just moved in down the street.
- Ah.
- She invited us to, uh, a party.
- Oh.
- Just a little housewarming thing on Saturday.
Mary said she wasn't sure you'd be able to No, we'd love to come.
- Really? - Sure.
You want us to bring anything, or No.
No.
Just your lovely selves.
Well, all righty, then.
We'll see you soon.
Wonderful.
I'll check with the maître d', see if Brad's family's arrived.
Oh, my God.
- It's Hector.
- AMY: Hector? He was the best hairdresser I ever had.
I mean, until he dropped me.
Why did he drop you? Who knows? One day, he just stopped scheduling appointments.
Well, I'm sure you did something to offend him.
Why would you assume that? Oh, right, I'm horrible.
PATTY: Amy! Patty.
Mom, this is Brad's sister Patty.
Oh, it's lovely to meet you.
Thank you.
Oh, they've seated us in a private dining room.
Did you arrange that? I did.
I wanted to do something special for my new family.
It's a great idea.
Now we can get as loud - and crazy as we want.
- Ah! I don't know if Amy told you, but I know how to yodel.
No.
I think I would have remembered that.
Great, let's get the party started.
- Karl, everyone's here.
- Oh, good.
- Hello.
- Hi.
[MUTTERS.]
Hey, guys.
- Patty.
- Oh, here they are.
What a pleasure it is to finally meet you.
I'm Ruby and this is Dwight.
- Charmed.
- DWIGHT: Well, hello, there.
Sorry we're late.
Well, if you were busy making yourself beautiful, may I just say, mission accomplished.
- Heel, Dwight.
- [LAUGHTER.]
I see I'm gonna have to watch my step around you.
I can't tell you how thrilled we are that Amy's marrying a young man as admirable as your son.
That voice.
He's like someone on PBS.
Now, who wants champagne? - I'm sure we could all be persuaded.
- [CHUCKLES.]
I could just listen to him talk all day long.
If you were married to him, you would.
Well, Ruby and I are just as crazy about your daughter.
The whole family is.
Patty hasn't shut up about her.
'Cause I'm happy, okay? I'm finally getting a sister.
Well, I'm thrilled to finally be a part of a big family.
I've always dreamed of hosting large family gatherings.
RUBY: You know what I dream about? Grandkids.
Oh, I've had that dream.
I always wake up screaming.
Now, why don't you want grandkids? Well, I'd have to tell people that I'm a grandmother.
And let's face it, who's gonna believe me? Does anyone need more champagne? - Oh, God, yes.
- Yes, absolutely.
Uh, I'm terribly sorry.
Will you excuse me? I, uh, I desperately need to use the facilities.
Listen to him.
He even makes taking a piss sound fancy.
[DWIGHT AND RUBY LAUGH.]
It is done! I just wrote the words "fade to black.
" My script is complete! - Eli! - Aw! - Oh, my God.
Oh.
- [ELI CHUCKLING.]
- Honey, that's amazing.
- Yeah, it is.
You know what's amazing? Somehow it all works.
I mean, the characters, the plot, all of it.
I mean, I probably used the word "fuck" about 60 times too many, but that's fixable.
I mean, the point is: I may actually be a good writer.
- [LAUGHS.]
- Oh, I'm so proud of you.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
JADE: Oh Mm.
ELI: Mm.
Oh, so I called Lamar, and he wants to take us all out to dinner tonight to celebrate.
Oh, that'd be great.
We should go to La Serata.
- Ooh, molto bene.
- Yeah.
Not to change the subject, but I'm curious about something.
What's up? While I was away, did you two fuck? I don't know why, I just have a feeling.
Am I crazy? [LAUGHS.]
We absolutely fucked.
Yeah.
Shit.
Wow.
Hmm.
Are you upset? Um I'm not sure.
It's not like you and I have never done it without Eli.
[CHUCKLES.]
That's true.
Mm.
Okay.
Okay? I mean, obviously I have some feelings that I need to work through, but this was this was bound to happen, right? At some point, since we're all together now.
And I love you both, so why why would I not want you guys to get closer? Yes, exactly, and I-I knew that if we were just open and honest about the whole thing, that it wouldn't be a big deal.
Yeah.
Well, thank you for telling me the truth.
- It feels good to know.
- Of course.
Of course.
Oh, you know what, you should tell Lamar - - that I know the manager at La Serata, so she can get us a good table.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Totally.
Great call.
I will - [PHONE CHIMES.]
I-I will, I will text Lamar right now.
Okay.
[PHONE CHIMES.]
So I can tell Rob is still mad about the other night.
He hasn't called in days.
I thought about calling him, but I don't want to seem desperate, although I am a little bit, but he doesn't need to know that.
Anyway [CHUCKLES.]
what do you think I should do? Hmm.
What? [CHUCKLES.]
Listen to me.
I must be boring you to tears always talking about Rob.
No, I'm sorry.
I was thinking about this woman I met today.
I can't get her out of my mind.
Why? I was at her door dropping something off, and, just, something wasn't quite right.
How do you mean? She was worried about her husband.
I could hear him calling for her.
There was just something about his tone.
It scared me.
Then he came to the door, and he was charming.
This woman, was she wearing a lot of makeup? She was.
How did you know that? He hits her.
You think? No, he isn't the type.
He's very successful.
My father was a doctor.
I used to watch my mother apply makeup to cover up her black eyes.
Oh, no.
She would smear green concealer to cover the bruise, and then she would apply a second layer of concealer that matched her skin tone.
And then she would do the same thing to the other side so that people wouldn't notice the difference.
That's awful.
No, here's the awful part.
My whole family knew what was going on.
Aunts, uncles, cousins they all knew what he was doing, and they just looked the other way.
I hate people that look the other way.
And he told the owner he was willing to match any offer the Gibson twins could come up with.
[LAUGHS.]
And that's how Dwight cornered the Tulsa County market for earth-moving machinery.
[LAUGHTER.]
The next thing that happened Please stop! Until I find Karl.
[LAUGHS.]
He would hate to miss this amazing story.
DWIGHT: He has been in the gents' room quite a while.
Uh, you want me to check on him? [LAUGHS.]
: No.
I-I've got this.
Ma'am, that's the men's room.
Oh, I know.
My husband isn't hiding out in the ladies' room.
[GASPS.]
So nice to finally meet you, Lamar.
I've heard so much about you.
Heard a lot about you, too, pretty lady.
And I have so many questions.
- Please don't ask them.
- [LAUGHS.]
Come on.
I'm paying for this meal.
All I want in exchange is a few juicy details about your new lifestyle.
All right, dude, don't embarrass me.
I wouldn't ask if I didn't need to know.
Why do you need to know? Truth is, I've been thinking about bringing another woman into my relationship with Delores.
And she's open to the idea? - Absolutely not.
- [LAUGHTER.]
All right, okay, all right.
- Let's talk about my script.
- Mm-hmm.
- Eli said that you think it's good.
- No.
I think it's brilliant.
- Okay, just tell me it'll sell.
- Oh, yes.
I already got four different producers interested.
I'm expecting offers in the high six-figure range.
[EXHALES.]
Are you serious? I joke about sex, not money.
Wow.
I-I've never had a script get that kind of reaction before.
You've never written a script this commercial before.
And I guess we have you to thank for that.
[LAUGHS.]
: Stop.
What? It just Eli was having some problems with his story, so I read the first 50 pages, and I-I gave him a few ideas.
More than a few.
I mean, she saved my ass is what she did.
That part at the end, where-where Eva, she burns the place down and goes, like, full-blown arsonist on everybody? - Mm-hmm.
- Jade's idea.
- Cool.
- ELI: Mm.
So, you let her read the script before it was finished? W-Well, yeah.
'Cause you never let me do that.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
No h-honey, my back was up against the wall on this.
I mean - Uh.
- I-I also, I-I gave him some thoughts on the lead character.
You know, I have insight into the millennial female brain.
And it shows.
Eva is the-the best character he's ever created.
Ah, I-I don't know about that.
I do.
Trust me, Eli.
Be good to Jade.
She's your muse.
- ELI: You might be right.
- Oh, that's ridiculous.
LAMAR: So, Jade, you ever think about doing any writing yourself? Um, yeah.
I-I have, I actually have a couple script ideas, yeah.
LAMAR: Well, I would love to hear about them.
- Really? - Yeah.
- Um, excuse me for just one moment.
- Yeah.
Are you sure? He's always looking for my replacement, so please.
[LAMAR LAUGHS.]
What in God's name? Shit.
We We got a bit carried away.
We haven't seen each other in years.
Oh, my God.
Is that why you dropped me as a client? Because you were screwing my husband! I couldn't look you in the eye anymore.
It was impossible to trim your bangs.
I think you should leave now.
For what it's worth, I love the layers.
Go.
How could you? You can't be completely shocked.
You knew perfectly well I slept with men.
But with Hector? You're surprised that the man I slept with was your hairdresser? That is the gay sex equivalent of "the butler did it.
" What the hell is going on? Nothing.
We're fine.
We are not fine.
You would not believe how Karl betrayed me.
I don't care.
I've spent six months sucking up to the Clampetts, and you're not gonna blow it for me in one night.
Now move it! Come on.
Let's not ruin her chances with unnecessary drama.
Fine.
I'll wait till we're in divorce court.
And what I do to you then will be very necessary.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Gretchen, Dale! Welcome to our little shindig.
- Hi! - Thanks for having us.
Wow, those are some shorts.
Yeah.
Bought 'em special for the party.
Aren't they great? There's food and drink in the dining room.
- Please help yourself.
- Thank you.
- See? She liked them.
- That's not what she said.
Hey, Beth Ann.
Got any requests? Don't play classical until I want people to leave.
[CHUCKLES.]
: Okay.
Hey, hey, hey.
What did I tell you? No running in the house.
But it's not our house.
I swear to God, Benny.
Come on.
Nobody's gonna vote for the guy after what happened in Cuba.
Don't matter.
I can't think of one scenario where Kennedy doesn't get a second term.
Never gonna happen.
GENE: So you're telling me you've never been for a ride in a Cadillac? I'd be happy to take you around the block.
Lenore, could you please help me in the kitchen? Thank you so much.
Honey, Miles is bragging about his salary at Hughes Aircraft.
Can I tell him how much I make? - Absolutely not.
- Oh, come on.
- Cookies! - Oh! Mmm.
Are those deviled eggs? Help yourself.
Hi.
You came.
- Of course.
We wouldn't miss it.
- I'm sorry we're late.
Don't be silly.
The party's only just started.
Nice place you got here.
- We certainly like it.
- Well, I didn't want to come empty-handed, so - You shouldn't have.
- No, no.
It was no trouble.
I used a mix.
Thank you again for inviting us.
Look, honey, it's Dale Clark.
I know him.
We should go say hi.
Look at those shorts.
Taylor? Are you still in here? Taylor? Ah! There you are.
Are you okay? The boys are starting to worry.
Yeah, I'm fine.
- Are you sure? - Yeah.
Doing my thing.
I'll be out in a minute.
Why are your pants on? Why are you being weird? Sorry.
Look, I understand if you're upset.
Do you? What happened with me and Eli has obviously triggered some hurt feelings, and I totally get it.
Jade, believe me when I say I don't give a fuck if you screwed my husband.
Okay, so then what's the problem? His muse? What kind of over-the-top undeserved bullshit is that? Okay, he was just trying to be nice.
You didn't save him.
You toss out a couple ideas and poured him coffee while he pulled an all-nighter.
I am the one who spent the last two years cleaning up the mess he made of our lives.
- What did he do? - What didn't he do? Speed, cocaine Christ, I can write you a list, but this place closes at midnight.
Jade, he's an addict.
He almost died.
And he would've if I didn't force him into rehab.
[SIGHS.]
I-I didn't know that.
Well, how could you? I didn't say anything because I thought we were fine and just having you here, it's What? Ugh.
Man, that's just shining a light on the cracks in our relationship.
- I don't mean to - I know.
It's not your fault.
You did nothing wrong.
I'm just I don't know.
[SIGHS.]
I'm just not sure the current living situation is working.
Are you saying you want me to go? I don't know what I'm saying.
I just don't think this whole thing's working.
Sheila! Sheila! Come on.
What're you doing? Don't you hear? They're playing "The Twist.
" That's terrific.
I'm eating pie.
Forget about the pie.
Come on.
I want to dance.
Well, here's your partner.
She's just like me, but smaller and stickier.
Come on, honey, and after we're done dancing, Daddy's gonna tell you about all the nice women he should've married.
- Hey! - Hi.
Joining us? - [ROB LAUGHS.]
- GRETCHEN: Let's see it.
Lift your leg.
[HEEL CRACKS.]
- You okay there, Gretchen? - [SIGHS.]
I broke my heel.
- Oh.
- I'll be right back, Mr.
Astaire.
[LAUGHS.]
- You're a killer.
- Well, she is.
Mary.
May I have this dance? Um No, I don't think so.
Aw, come on.
Don't make me dance alone.
Seriously, I have two left feet.
Well, add them to mine and we'll have four.
- Okay, just for a minute.
- Yeah, now you're talking.
[LAUGHS.]
Look at you go.
LEO: Hands up! How low can you go? [LAUGHTER.]
[BOTH LAUGH.]
ROB: My mistake.
Oh, you're doing great.
[LAUGHTER.]
Come on.
- We were only dancing.
- I said come on! - [MUSIC STOPS.]
- Buddy.
There's no need to be like this.
[GUESTS MURMURING.]
You can cheat on your wife all you want, but you're not touching mine.
- [PIANO RESUMES PLAYING.]
- Did you see that? - Yeah.
- He just grabbed her and pulled her away in front of everyone.
He was angry that she was dancing with me.
That's no excuse.
They went into the study.
You need to make sure he's not hurting her.
Well? What happens in their marriage is none of our business.
Is that why we go to parties? So you can flirt with strange men? - People can hear you.
- Or do you just enjoy humiliating me, huh? Do you mind? This is a private conversation.
[CHUCKLES.]
Look, I am so sorry if-if we are being too loud.
We'll be out of here in two shakes of a lamb's tail, okay? Look, this is not my fault.
She always drinks too much.
I've just set out some angel food cake in the dining room.
Why don't you go have a slice? No, thank you.
We're going home.
Maybe you'd like to stay a little longer? Give him a chance to cool off.
That'll just make it worse.
Mary.
It must be a wonderful thing to be strong like you.
That's the reason we became Southern Baptist.
Those Methodists were just a little too liberal for our taste.
Leave the bottle.
My darling, don't you, uh, think you've had enough? Of you? Yes.
Of chardonnay? Never.
- Oh.
- RUBY: Patty! Look at your new dress.
[GIGGLES.]
Oh, darn.
Amy helps me buy something chic and I ruin it first time out.
We'll just go shopping again tomorrow.
For grease on silk, you want talcum powder.
There's a travel size in the rental car.
Okay.
Excuse me.
Brad tells us you two run an art gallery together.
What's that like? - Fun.
- Challenging.
It's a challenge, but a fun one.
Unlike our marriage, which is purely a challenge.
RUBY: Speaking of marriage, I'm just curious, Simone, how many times have you been married? Just three.
Why? It's just an innocent question, my love.
- I wasn't talking to you.
- I know.
Why are you so cross with him? I wasn't cross.
Was I cross? You were definitely cross.
RUBY: Um, not that it's any of my business, but if I were twice divorced, then hooked a man like Karl, I'd treat him a little nicer.
Now I'm curious about something, Ruby.
How would you treat Karl if you walked into the bathroom and found him kissing another man? Mm.
Bravo, Simone.
That's right, sugar.
Karl is gay.
Still have a crush on him? Your stepdad is gay? I thought he was just English.
That's why we're getting divorced.
Dear God.
Another divorce? Not really the headline, Dwight.
Oh, you poor, tragic woman.
I have suffered.
It's true.
I-I'm sorry, do not shed tears for Simone.
She is receiving ample comfort in the arms of her lover Tommy Harte.
- What the fuck? - Shut up, Karl.
You're sleeping with Tommy? Who, for the newcomers, is all of 18 years of age.
Oh, sweet suffering Jesus.
DWIGHT: British homos, teen lovers? What kind of spangled hell pit are you marrying into? PATTY: Hey.
Found the talcum powder.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
Why is everyone so serious? I never thought I'd see the day our family would have a homosexual in it.
Brad, you swore you wouldn't tell.
No, Patty, Patty, I-I Oh, I-I don't know what Brad told you, but my feelings for you are sisterly, not sexual.
Oh, sweet suffering Jesus.
[CRYING.]
[STAMMERS.]
Patty! Oh, come back! DWIGHT: Sweet baby, please say it's not true.
She's a lesbian.
Mmm.
How did I miss that? Anybody want an after-dinner cocktail? Uh, not me.
I have the worst headache.
Why don't you go on upstairs and lie down? We can give you a little space tonight.
That'd be nice.
Thank you.
I'm gonna have me a scotch.
You want one? [DRINK POURING.]
Jade? How could you not tell me? [CHUCKLES.]
: I'm not sure I know what you're talking The pills, Eli.
You're an addict and you let me give you pills.
[SIGHS.]
Shit.
- How did you - Taylor told me.
At dinner, in the bathroom.
Shit.
She d She doesn't know that I took anything, though, right? No.
- Oh, thank Christ.
- Not yet.
No.
No.
No, no, no, no, no.
What do you mean, "No"? I have to.
This is too big.
Fuck.
[EXHALES.]
: What am I gonna do? I mean, she's already questioning our living arrangement.
If she finds out about this, it doesn't matter how she feels about me.
I am out on the street.
I don't have anywhere to go, Eli.
And Willow and Mischa are gone and Duke is still out there.
- Listen Jade, listen, listen to me.
- And I That's not gonna happen.
Okay? I'm not gonna let that happen.
- I need you here.
- Why? Because I'm your muse or am I, am I just your dealer? [STAMMERS.]
I'm-I'm done with the pills.
Okay? Done.
So she doesn't need to know.
In that case, give them to me.
- What? - If you're done with them, then there's no reason that you can't give them back.
So? Look, the thing is, one of the producers who's interested - wants a rewrite.
- I knew it.
[STAMMERS.]
She's got some really great ideas.
Lamar says if I can turn out a draft - by Friday - Eli.
[WHISPERS.]
: J All right, fine.
Jesus, just take them [SIGHS.]
Just, I'm-I'm-I'm so, I'm so, so close to getting my career back.
You can handle a few rewrites without them.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah, all I know is that I used to be a writer and an addict, and then I got clean, and all of a sudden, I wasn't a writer anymore.
But if I can do this, if I can, if I can finish this thing and if I can get it to them on time, - then, you know, I'm - [CLAPS HANDS.]
[GRUNTS.]
I'm back.
I will be legit again, they will trust me again and the money that will follow, Jade I can take care of you.
Please.
I need them.
And you promise you'll take care of me? I promise.
[EXHALES.]
Let's get to work on your movie.
Christ, what an evening.
I'm exhausted.
Oh, you're not staying here tonight.
Is that so? I want you to pack your things and leave, now.
Oh, knock it off, Simone.
I'm angry enough as it is.
You're angry? My daughter may never speak to me again.
Oh, and whose fault is that? If you'd just kept your mouth shut instead of humiliating me.
I was provoked.
Oh, so there was no possible way you could suppress the impulse to blow up the entire evening? Says the man who couldn't stop himself from sneaking off to the men's room for a quickie.
Oh, fuck you! I've spent my whole damn life controlling myself, hiding the central fact of my existence so I wouldn't disappoint my family, my friends or my wife.
Hector was the only person who ever saw me for the man I truly am, not the one I was pretending to be.
You have no idea what he meant to me.
Stop romanticizing your grubby little fling.
I loved him! He asked me to run away with him.
Um, but I-I had made a commitment to you, so I chose to stay.
I am your wife.
Am I supposed to be grateful that you didn't walk out? I just want you to see it from my perspective for once.
Just think about what it may have cost me to honor the vow I made to you.
So no, Simone, I do not expect you to be grateful for the sacrifice I made, but for fuck's sake, at least acknowledge it.
I am going to bed.
Not in the guest room.
In our room, in our bed.
You sleep where you like.
The Thompsons just left.
Said to thank you for a lovely time.
So, you're not talking to me.
What am I supposed to say? It was a party.
I wasn't gonna cause a scene.
He hurt her, right in front of you, and you did nothing.
What was I supposed to do? Hit him? I mean, I'm sure our guests would have loved that.
You could have at least confronted him.
Reminded him that kind of behavior is unacceptable.
The guy had been drinking.
I-I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt her.
This is not the first time he's gotten rough with her.
How do you know that? She had several bruises on her arm.
That's why she's wearing long sleeves on such a hot day.
If it's that bad, why doesn't she leave him? And where would she go, Rob? Here? Will you let her sleep on our sofa? Jesus, Beth Ann, I don't know.
And what if Ralph comes banging on our door in the middle of the night to try to drag her back? Would you have the balls to stand up to him then? Don't use that kind of language.
Of course you wouldn't.
You would just slink away like the coward you are! Okay! He's not the perfect husband.
It's not my job to judge him! Would you like the neighbors coming in here and judging you for not being the perfect mother? Huh?! I'm just saying, leave it alone.
[EXHALES.]
I didn't know you were still here.
I was just upstairs.
Just picking up some trash.
So you heard everything? Yeah.
What was that all about? Honey.
It's okay.
You can talk to me.
Whatever it is, I don't judge.
Our daughter died because of me.
I'm the one who's responsible.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
Simone.
What are you doing here? I need to know.
Do you love him? I do.
Okay, then invite me in.
We have a lot to talk about.
Some of them cheat.
Not Rob.
Not after what happened to our daughter.
I am in love with you.
ROB: You knew the rules.
I will never leave my wife.
Why would he even be with me if he was so happy with her? Maybe she did something to hurt him and he needs time to forgive her.
I moved my lover into our home.
The three of us are officially a throuple.
My agent's gonna drop me if I don't get him my script by tomorrow morning.
- Give me the 50 pages.
- Skip to what sucks.
That would be your lead character.
- What's wrong with Eva? - She waits around for 15 pages hoping a man will save her.
She's a victim.
I hate victims.
Hey, how did you come up with that stuff anyway? Maybe there's more to me than meets the eye.
The man's a drug addict.
Half your savings went up his nose.
Eli has changed.
Hold on, I have something.
Take this.
What happens when he likes her more than you? He said it's the best thing I've ever written.
God, I am so happy for you.
[GIGGLES.]
Are you having an affair? Karl, I believe you're jealous.
Tell me who it is.
Is it one of our friends from the country club? SIMONE: Tommy's back.
Wasn't that lucky, dear.
Seems Tommy was right there in the bedroom, ready to be useful.
Don't you see? We don't need to get a divorce.
We have stumbled into the perfect arrangement.
Everything is not a joke, Karl.
I want a man who loves me so much, that he would kill another man if I slept with someone else.
And I'm never gonna get that from you, am I? No.
"L" is for the way you look At me "O" is for the only one I see "V" is very, very Extraordinary "E" is even more Than anyone that you adore can Love is all That I can give to you Love is more Than just a game for two Two in love can make it Take my heart and please don't break it Love was made For me and you Simone and I used to be very close, back when I was her hairdresser.
Taylor and I were forced to socialize, 'cause I was her husband's agent.
I didn't know Beth Ann at all, even though she was a neighbor.
I used to gossip with her for hours.
She adored me.
I tried to talk to her at parties.
She never got my jokes.
I used to watch her at the market.
She seemed nice.
It's funny about people.
They come into our lives every day and you never know who will play the most important part.
A total stranger might be the one to save you, or destroy you.
To be honest I feel responsible for his death.
I'm not sure anyone would've died if it wasn't for me.
I knew she was going to kill him.
And I am so glad she did.
Oh, Simone.
- What are you doing here? - What a silly question.
You know how much I adore our little gallery.
Oh, please.
You haven't stopped by in months.
Once we begin negotiating our settlement, I know you'll fight for this place.
You'll tell the judge it should go to you because I never helped out.
Well, here I am helping out.
- WOMAN: Excuse me.
- Yes? Hello.
Do you have any Lichtenstein prints? We're talking.
Do you mind? And with charm like that on our sales staff, these paintings should just fly off the walls.
No Tommy today? We spoke this morning.
Oh, yes? Was that on the phone or did you roll over and tap him on the shoulder? I suggested we take a break.
My divorce lawyer feels an ongoing affair with a teenager could make me seem unsympathetic.
You've hired a lawyer? Bernie Morton.
He did my first two divorces, so he knows what I like.
No, no, no.
We-we agreed we weren't gonna get divorced until after Amy's wedding.
We agreed not to announce it till then.
That doesn't mean we can't get the ball rolling.
B-But there's so much coming at us in the next few weeks.
I mean, Amy's Oklahoma in-laws are turning up tomorrow en masse.
Oh, God.
I'm dreading that dinner.
I spoke to Brad's mother for two minutes on the phone.
- I already can't stand her.
- Exactly.
If we're fighting each other, how will we have the energy to properly hate them? After what you've put me through, I have more than enough - rage to go around.
- All right.
Clearly, we need counseling.
I mean, can we at least wait until after we've seen a therapist? It's over.
No more waiting.
Accept it.
[SIGHS.]
: Well.
I guess I've helped enough for one day.
See you at home.
[DOOR OPENS.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[SIGHS.]
- Hey.
- Hey.
Did you see Taylor's text? Uh, no.
I've been writing.
She got on an early flight.
She's gonna be here in a couple minutes.
- Oh, okay.
- So, um, I was wondering, when you want to tell her? Tell her? About last night? And how-how we fucked? [CHUCKLES.]
Oh.
You-you want to mention that.
Well, it happened, so we have to be honest about it, right? Sure.
Yeah.
- Great.
Awesome.
- Yeah.
I do wonder, though, um, what-what do you think Taylor's reaction will be when we tell her? I-I think she'll be cool with it.
I mean, we're in a throuple, she's seen us have sex before.
I-It's it won't be a big deal.
Mm.
Interesting.
That's interesting.
What? You think, you think she might get jealous? Maybe.
Maybe jealous, maybe furious.
I mean, likely furious.
Yeah, but don't you think she'll be angrier if we don't tell her and then she finds out anyway? It well, see? See, that's where the ever-popular "take it to our graves" philosophy would come into play.
You want to keep it a secret? I'll be honest, it's not my first inclination, but hearing you say it out loud, I like it.
Eli.
No.
I [EXHALES.]
We can't.
That-that feels wrong.
That's wrong.
All right, all right, all right.
- You're right.
You're right.
- [CAR APPROACHING.]
Anything less than full honesty is a betrayal.
- Okay.
- [CAR DOOR CLOSES.]
Here she is.
- Make me proud.
- Shit.
- Hi.
- Hey, babe.
How was the flight? Crying babies, bitchy flight attendants, they lost my suitcase and I hate Uber! [DOOR CLOSES.]
What have you guys been up to? Uh nothing much.
[CHUCKLES.]
: Yeah.
Yeah.
Just happy to have this one home.
TAYLOR: Oh, oh - Mm.
- [EXHALES.]
What do you say we put you in a bath, huh? - TAYLOR: Oh, my God.
- You deserve it.
Salt, no salt? So much salt.
Salt it up.
Whatcha doing? I was just trying to think of a place to store all of Nana's linens.
If there's ever a worldwide doily shortage, we'll be sitting pretty.
It is done.
We are now officially unpacked.
I thought you finished weeks ago.
You said you hated seeing all of the unpacked boxes lying around, so I put them all in the attic.
Every day, I would bring one down and empty it.
You lugged all these boxes to the attic? Just so I wouldn't have to look at' em? It was nothing.
You do so many things each day to please me.
Things I don't even notice.
And I want to notice them, so I can thank you.
I don't need to be thanked.
You know, I've been working a lot of late nights the past few months.
This project I've been involved with, it's almost over.
- It is? - Yeah.
Once I'm done, we'll get back to a normal schedule.
I'll be home in time for dinner, every night.
That would make me very happy.
So, we're finally moved in.
How should we celebrate? Hey.
Why not throw a party? Like a housewarming thing? Yes, we can invite all the neighbors.
There's so many I haven't met yet.
Oh.
Let's do it next Saturday.
- That would be wonderful.
- Fantastic.
You want me to throw this box away for you? Oh, not just yet.
There's still some photos in there.
I was going to put those in the cupboard upstairs.
[STAMMERS.]
Maybe we should leave this one out.
Really? You said it upset you.
Eh, that was a while ago.
[SETS PICTURE DOWN.]
It hurts to remember, but it'd be worse to forget.
You're absolutely right.
Simone, we're going to be late.
I'm coming.
Hold your horses.
Amy.
Are you coming with us to the dinner? We assumed you'd be going with Brad and his family.
I was with them all day.
I need a break.
Oh, are they really that bad? Do you know much about tractors? Um, no.
You will by dessert.
I think you deserve a drink.
I'm sure Brad is very pleased that you're making such an effort.
Trust me, I'm sucking up like crazy.
And if I make a good impression, his parents might buy us a house.
- Ooh.
- A house? As a wedding gift? Darling, we really need to rethink those fondue forks.
Their farm sits on millions of gallons of oil.
So whatever you think of them, be nice.
- I'm always nice.
- Really nice.
Not bitchy nice.
You're tying my hands, but fine.
- [PHONE RINGING.]
- Don't pick up.
- We're late.
- Uh, don't worry, we've got one of those newfangled machines that takes a message.
You know, I don't know - how we lived without it.
- [MACHINE BEEPS.]
BERNIE [OVER PHONE.]
: Simone, Bernie Morton here.
I'm working on your divorce paperwork, but I still need some financial forms, so Bernie, it's not a good time.
I'll talk to you tomorrow.
You're getting divorced again? Now, Amy Right before my wedding? It won't affect you.
Brad's parents are not going to buy me a house if they think I was raised by a woman who's never had a marriage last longer than a breath mint.
You're blaming me? After three husbands, yes.
What's your excuse this time? It's a charming story.
Y-Yes, well, we-we both have charming stories, but I don't want to bore you with a lot of what we Brits call, um, tommyrot.
Fine.
Let's just go.
Tommyrot? Really, Karl? You're hilarious.
At last, we agree on something.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
Good morning.
I'm Beth Ann Stanton, your new neighbor.
My husband and I just moved in down the street.
I-I know who you are.
Well, I hear your name is Mary.
Mary Vlasin.
It's nice to officially meet you.
MAN [CALLING OUT.]
: Mary! That your husband? Uh, yes.
Now's not a good time.
I'll be quick.
I have something for the two of you.
It's the reason I dropped by.
It's an invitation.
Rob and I are throwing a housewarming party on Saturday; nothing fancy.
Just finger food and beer.
We'll be having some old friends, and hopefully some new ones.
[CHUCKLES.]
I can't remember the last time I went to a party.
MAN: Mary! Uh, do you think you might be able to make it? I'm just doing a head count.
I don't know, um I was coming.
I was just, uh, talking to our new neighbor.
Oh, hello there.
I didn't realize we had company.
I'm Beth Ann Stanton.
I've just moved in down the street.
- Ah.
- She invited us to, uh, a party.
- Oh.
- Just a little housewarming thing on Saturday.
Mary said she wasn't sure you'd be able to No, we'd love to come.
- Really? - Sure.
You want us to bring anything, or No.
No.
Just your lovely selves.
Well, all righty, then.
We'll see you soon.
Wonderful.
I'll check with the maître d', see if Brad's family's arrived.
Oh, my God.
- It's Hector.
- AMY: Hector? He was the best hairdresser I ever had.
I mean, until he dropped me.
Why did he drop you? Who knows? One day, he just stopped scheduling appointments.
Well, I'm sure you did something to offend him.
Why would you assume that? Oh, right, I'm horrible.
PATTY: Amy! Patty.
Mom, this is Brad's sister Patty.
Oh, it's lovely to meet you.
Thank you.
Oh, they've seated us in a private dining room.
Did you arrange that? I did.
I wanted to do something special for my new family.
It's a great idea.
Now we can get as loud - and crazy as we want.
- Ah! I don't know if Amy told you, but I know how to yodel.
No.
I think I would have remembered that.
Great, let's get the party started.
- Karl, everyone's here.
- Oh, good.
- Hello.
- Hi.
[MUTTERS.]
Hey, guys.
- Patty.
- Oh, here they are.
What a pleasure it is to finally meet you.
I'm Ruby and this is Dwight.
- Charmed.
- DWIGHT: Well, hello, there.
Sorry we're late.
Well, if you were busy making yourself beautiful, may I just say, mission accomplished.
- Heel, Dwight.
- [LAUGHTER.]
I see I'm gonna have to watch my step around you.
I can't tell you how thrilled we are that Amy's marrying a young man as admirable as your son.
That voice.
He's like someone on PBS.
Now, who wants champagne? - I'm sure we could all be persuaded.
- [CHUCKLES.]
I could just listen to him talk all day long.
If you were married to him, you would.
Well, Ruby and I are just as crazy about your daughter.
The whole family is.
Patty hasn't shut up about her.
'Cause I'm happy, okay? I'm finally getting a sister.
Well, I'm thrilled to finally be a part of a big family.
I've always dreamed of hosting large family gatherings.
RUBY: You know what I dream about? Grandkids.
Oh, I've had that dream.
I always wake up screaming.
Now, why don't you want grandkids? Well, I'd have to tell people that I'm a grandmother.
And let's face it, who's gonna believe me? Does anyone need more champagne? - Oh, God, yes.
- Yes, absolutely.
Uh, I'm terribly sorry.
Will you excuse me? I, uh, I desperately need to use the facilities.
Listen to him.
He even makes taking a piss sound fancy.
[DWIGHT AND RUBY LAUGH.]
It is done! I just wrote the words "fade to black.
" My script is complete! - Eli! - Aw! - Oh, my God.
Oh.
- [ELI CHUCKLING.]
- Honey, that's amazing.
- Yeah, it is.
You know what's amazing? Somehow it all works.
I mean, the characters, the plot, all of it.
I mean, I probably used the word "fuck" about 60 times too many, but that's fixable.
I mean, the point is: I may actually be a good writer.
- [LAUGHS.]
- Oh, I'm so proud of you.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
JADE: Oh Mm.
ELI: Mm.
Oh, so I called Lamar, and he wants to take us all out to dinner tonight to celebrate.
Oh, that'd be great.
We should go to La Serata.
- Ooh, molto bene.
- Yeah.
Not to change the subject, but I'm curious about something.
What's up? While I was away, did you two fuck? I don't know why, I just have a feeling.
Am I crazy? [LAUGHS.]
We absolutely fucked.
Yeah.
Shit.
Wow.
Hmm.
Are you upset? Um I'm not sure.
It's not like you and I have never done it without Eli.
[CHUCKLES.]
That's true.
Mm.
Okay.
Okay? I mean, obviously I have some feelings that I need to work through, but this was this was bound to happen, right? At some point, since we're all together now.
And I love you both, so why why would I not want you guys to get closer? Yes, exactly, and I-I knew that if we were just open and honest about the whole thing, that it wouldn't be a big deal.
Yeah.
Well, thank you for telling me the truth.
- It feels good to know.
- Of course.
Of course.
Oh, you know what, you should tell Lamar - - that I know the manager at La Serata, so she can get us a good table.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Totally.
Great call.
I will - [PHONE CHIMES.]
I-I will, I will text Lamar right now.
Okay.
[PHONE CHIMES.]
So I can tell Rob is still mad about the other night.
He hasn't called in days.
I thought about calling him, but I don't want to seem desperate, although I am a little bit, but he doesn't need to know that.
Anyway [CHUCKLES.]
what do you think I should do? Hmm.
What? [CHUCKLES.]
Listen to me.
I must be boring you to tears always talking about Rob.
No, I'm sorry.
I was thinking about this woman I met today.
I can't get her out of my mind.
Why? I was at her door dropping something off, and, just, something wasn't quite right.
How do you mean? She was worried about her husband.
I could hear him calling for her.
There was just something about his tone.
It scared me.
Then he came to the door, and he was charming.
This woman, was she wearing a lot of makeup? She was.
How did you know that? He hits her.
You think? No, he isn't the type.
He's very successful.
My father was a doctor.
I used to watch my mother apply makeup to cover up her black eyes.
Oh, no.
She would smear green concealer to cover the bruise, and then she would apply a second layer of concealer that matched her skin tone.
And then she would do the same thing to the other side so that people wouldn't notice the difference.
That's awful.
No, here's the awful part.
My whole family knew what was going on.
Aunts, uncles, cousins they all knew what he was doing, and they just looked the other way.
I hate people that look the other way.
And he told the owner he was willing to match any offer the Gibson twins could come up with.
[LAUGHS.]
And that's how Dwight cornered the Tulsa County market for earth-moving machinery.
[LAUGHTER.]
The next thing that happened Please stop! Until I find Karl.
[LAUGHS.]
He would hate to miss this amazing story.
DWIGHT: He has been in the gents' room quite a while.
Uh, you want me to check on him? [LAUGHS.]
: No.
I-I've got this.
Ma'am, that's the men's room.
Oh, I know.
My husband isn't hiding out in the ladies' room.
[GASPS.]
So nice to finally meet you, Lamar.
I've heard so much about you.
Heard a lot about you, too, pretty lady.
And I have so many questions.
- Please don't ask them.
- [LAUGHS.]
Come on.
I'm paying for this meal.
All I want in exchange is a few juicy details about your new lifestyle.
All right, dude, don't embarrass me.
I wouldn't ask if I didn't need to know.
Why do you need to know? Truth is, I've been thinking about bringing another woman into my relationship with Delores.
And she's open to the idea? - Absolutely not.
- [LAUGHTER.]
All right, okay, all right.
- Let's talk about my script.
- Mm-hmm.
- Eli said that you think it's good.
- No.
I think it's brilliant.
- Okay, just tell me it'll sell.
- Oh, yes.
I already got four different producers interested.
I'm expecting offers in the high six-figure range.
[EXHALES.]
Are you serious? I joke about sex, not money.
Wow.
I-I've never had a script get that kind of reaction before.
You've never written a script this commercial before.
And I guess we have you to thank for that.
[LAUGHS.]
: Stop.
What? It just Eli was having some problems with his story, so I read the first 50 pages, and I-I gave him a few ideas.
More than a few.
I mean, she saved my ass is what she did.
That part at the end, where-where Eva, she burns the place down and goes, like, full-blown arsonist on everybody? - Mm-hmm.
- Jade's idea.
- Cool.
- ELI: Mm.
So, you let her read the script before it was finished? W-Well, yeah.
'Cause you never let me do that.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
No h-honey, my back was up against the wall on this.
I mean - Uh.
- I-I also, I-I gave him some thoughts on the lead character.
You know, I have insight into the millennial female brain.
And it shows.
Eva is the-the best character he's ever created.
Ah, I-I don't know about that.
I do.
Trust me, Eli.
Be good to Jade.
She's your muse.
- ELI: You might be right.
- Oh, that's ridiculous.
LAMAR: So, Jade, you ever think about doing any writing yourself? Um, yeah.
I-I have, I actually have a couple script ideas, yeah.
LAMAR: Well, I would love to hear about them.
- Really? - Yeah.
- Um, excuse me for just one moment.
- Yeah.
Are you sure? He's always looking for my replacement, so please.
[LAMAR LAUGHS.]
What in God's name? Shit.
We We got a bit carried away.
We haven't seen each other in years.
Oh, my God.
Is that why you dropped me as a client? Because you were screwing my husband! I couldn't look you in the eye anymore.
It was impossible to trim your bangs.
I think you should leave now.
For what it's worth, I love the layers.
Go.
How could you? You can't be completely shocked.
You knew perfectly well I slept with men.
But with Hector? You're surprised that the man I slept with was your hairdresser? That is the gay sex equivalent of "the butler did it.
" What the hell is going on? Nothing.
We're fine.
We are not fine.
You would not believe how Karl betrayed me.
I don't care.
I've spent six months sucking up to the Clampetts, and you're not gonna blow it for me in one night.
Now move it! Come on.
Let's not ruin her chances with unnecessary drama.
Fine.
I'll wait till we're in divorce court.
And what I do to you then will be very necessary.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Gretchen, Dale! Welcome to our little shindig.
- Hi! - Thanks for having us.
Wow, those are some shorts.
Yeah.
Bought 'em special for the party.
Aren't they great? There's food and drink in the dining room.
- Please help yourself.
- Thank you.
- See? She liked them.
- That's not what she said.
Hey, Beth Ann.
Got any requests? Don't play classical until I want people to leave.
[CHUCKLES.]
: Okay.
Hey, hey, hey.
What did I tell you? No running in the house.
But it's not our house.
I swear to God, Benny.
Come on.
Nobody's gonna vote for the guy after what happened in Cuba.
Don't matter.
I can't think of one scenario where Kennedy doesn't get a second term.
Never gonna happen.
GENE: So you're telling me you've never been for a ride in a Cadillac? I'd be happy to take you around the block.
Lenore, could you please help me in the kitchen? Thank you so much.
Honey, Miles is bragging about his salary at Hughes Aircraft.
Can I tell him how much I make? - Absolutely not.
- Oh, come on.
- Cookies! - Oh! Mmm.
Are those deviled eggs? Help yourself.
Hi.
You came.
- Of course.
We wouldn't miss it.
- I'm sorry we're late.
Don't be silly.
The party's only just started.
Nice place you got here.
- We certainly like it.
- Well, I didn't want to come empty-handed, so - You shouldn't have.
- No, no.
It was no trouble.
I used a mix.
Thank you again for inviting us.
Look, honey, it's Dale Clark.
I know him.
We should go say hi.
Look at those shorts.
Taylor? Are you still in here? Taylor? Ah! There you are.
Are you okay? The boys are starting to worry.
Yeah, I'm fine.
- Are you sure? - Yeah.
Doing my thing.
I'll be out in a minute.
Why are your pants on? Why are you being weird? Sorry.
Look, I understand if you're upset.
Do you? What happened with me and Eli has obviously triggered some hurt feelings, and I totally get it.
Jade, believe me when I say I don't give a fuck if you screwed my husband.
Okay, so then what's the problem? His muse? What kind of over-the-top undeserved bullshit is that? Okay, he was just trying to be nice.
You didn't save him.
You toss out a couple ideas and poured him coffee while he pulled an all-nighter.
I am the one who spent the last two years cleaning up the mess he made of our lives.
- What did he do? - What didn't he do? Speed, cocaine Christ, I can write you a list, but this place closes at midnight.
Jade, he's an addict.
He almost died.
And he would've if I didn't force him into rehab.
[SIGHS.]
I-I didn't know that.
Well, how could you? I didn't say anything because I thought we were fine and just having you here, it's What? Ugh.
Man, that's just shining a light on the cracks in our relationship.
- I don't mean to - I know.
It's not your fault.
You did nothing wrong.
I'm just I don't know.
[SIGHS.]
I'm just not sure the current living situation is working.
Are you saying you want me to go? I don't know what I'm saying.
I just don't think this whole thing's working.
Sheila! Sheila! Come on.
What're you doing? Don't you hear? They're playing "The Twist.
" That's terrific.
I'm eating pie.
Forget about the pie.
Come on.
I want to dance.
Well, here's your partner.
She's just like me, but smaller and stickier.
Come on, honey, and after we're done dancing, Daddy's gonna tell you about all the nice women he should've married.
- Hey! - Hi.
Joining us? - [ROB LAUGHS.]
- GRETCHEN: Let's see it.
Lift your leg.
[HEEL CRACKS.]
- You okay there, Gretchen? - [SIGHS.]
I broke my heel.
- Oh.
- I'll be right back, Mr.
Astaire.
[LAUGHS.]
- You're a killer.
- Well, she is.
Mary.
May I have this dance? Um No, I don't think so.
Aw, come on.
Don't make me dance alone.
Seriously, I have two left feet.
Well, add them to mine and we'll have four.
- Okay, just for a minute.
- Yeah, now you're talking.
[LAUGHS.]
Look at you go.
LEO: Hands up! How low can you go? [LAUGHTER.]
[BOTH LAUGH.]
ROB: My mistake.
Oh, you're doing great.
[LAUGHTER.]
Come on.
- We were only dancing.
- I said come on! - [MUSIC STOPS.]
- Buddy.
There's no need to be like this.
[GUESTS MURMURING.]
You can cheat on your wife all you want, but you're not touching mine.
- [PIANO RESUMES PLAYING.]
- Did you see that? - Yeah.
- He just grabbed her and pulled her away in front of everyone.
He was angry that she was dancing with me.
That's no excuse.
They went into the study.
You need to make sure he's not hurting her.
Well? What happens in their marriage is none of our business.
Is that why we go to parties? So you can flirt with strange men? - People can hear you.
- Or do you just enjoy humiliating me, huh? Do you mind? This is a private conversation.
[CHUCKLES.]
Look, I am so sorry if-if we are being too loud.
We'll be out of here in two shakes of a lamb's tail, okay? Look, this is not my fault.
She always drinks too much.
I've just set out some angel food cake in the dining room.
Why don't you go have a slice? No, thank you.
We're going home.
Maybe you'd like to stay a little longer? Give him a chance to cool off.
That'll just make it worse.
Mary.
It must be a wonderful thing to be strong like you.
That's the reason we became Southern Baptist.
Those Methodists were just a little too liberal for our taste.
Leave the bottle.
My darling, don't you, uh, think you've had enough? Of you? Yes.
Of chardonnay? Never.
- Oh.
- RUBY: Patty! Look at your new dress.
[GIGGLES.]
Oh, darn.
Amy helps me buy something chic and I ruin it first time out.
We'll just go shopping again tomorrow.
For grease on silk, you want talcum powder.
There's a travel size in the rental car.
Okay.
Excuse me.
Brad tells us you two run an art gallery together.
What's that like? - Fun.
- Challenging.
It's a challenge, but a fun one.
Unlike our marriage, which is purely a challenge.
RUBY: Speaking of marriage, I'm just curious, Simone, how many times have you been married? Just three.
Why? It's just an innocent question, my love.
- I wasn't talking to you.
- I know.
Why are you so cross with him? I wasn't cross.
Was I cross? You were definitely cross.
RUBY: Um, not that it's any of my business, but if I were twice divorced, then hooked a man like Karl, I'd treat him a little nicer.
Now I'm curious about something, Ruby.
How would you treat Karl if you walked into the bathroom and found him kissing another man? Mm.
Bravo, Simone.
That's right, sugar.
Karl is gay.
Still have a crush on him? Your stepdad is gay? I thought he was just English.
That's why we're getting divorced.
Dear God.
Another divorce? Not really the headline, Dwight.
Oh, you poor, tragic woman.
I have suffered.
It's true.
I-I'm sorry, do not shed tears for Simone.
She is receiving ample comfort in the arms of her lover Tommy Harte.
- What the fuck? - Shut up, Karl.
You're sleeping with Tommy? Who, for the newcomers, is all of 18 years of age.
Oh, sweet suffering Jesus.
DWIGHT: British homos, teen lovers? What kind of spangled hell pit are you marrying into? PATTY: Hey.
Found the talcum powder.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
Why is everyone so serious? I never thought I'd see the day our family would have a homosexual in it.
Brad, you swore you wouldn't tell.
No, Patty, Patty, I-I Oh, I-I don't know what Brad told you, but my feelings for you are sisterly, not sexual.
Oh, sweet suffering Jesus.
[CRYING.]
[STAMMERS.]
Patty! Oh, come back! DWIGHT: Sweet baby, please say it's not true.
She's a lesbian.
Mmm.
How did I miss that? Anybody want an after-dinner cocktail? Uh, not me.
I have the worst headache.
Why don't you go on upstairs and lie down? We can give you a little space tonight.
That'd be nice.
Thank you.
I'm gonna have me a scotch.
You want one? [DRINK POURING.]
Jade? How could you not tell me? [CHUCKLES.]
: I'm not sure I know what you're talking The pills, Eli.
You're an addict and you let me give you pills.
[SIGHS.]
Shit.
- How did you - Taylor told me.
At dinner, in the bathroom.
Shit.
She d She doesn't know that I took anything, though, right? No.
- Oh, thank Christ.
- Not yet.
No.
No.
No, no, no, no, no.
What do you mean, "No"? I have to.
This is too big.
Fuck.
[EXHALES.]
: What am I gonna do? I mean, she's already questioning our living arrangement.
If she finds out about this, it doesn't matter how she feels about me.
I am out on the street.
I don't have anywhere to go, Eli.
And Willow and Mischa are gone and Duke is still out there.
- Listen Jade, listen, listen to me.
- And I That's not gonna happen.
Okay? I'm not gonna let that happen.
- I need you here.
- Why? Because I'm your muse or am I, am I just your dealer? [STAMMERS.]
I'm-I'm done with the pills.
Okay? Done.
So she doesn't need to know.
In that case, give them to me.
- What? - If you're done with them, then there's no reason that you can't give them back.
So? Look, the thing is, one of the producers who's interested - wants a rewrite.
- I knew it.
[STAMMERS.]
She's got some really great ideas.
Lamar says if I can turn out a draft - by Friday - Eli.
[WHISPERS.]
: J All right, fine.
Jesus, just take them [SIGHS.]
Just, I'm-I'm-I'm so, I'm so, so close to getting my career back.
You can handle a few rewrites without them.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah, all I know is that I used to be a writer and an addict, and then I got clean, and all of a sudden, I wasn't a writer anymore.
But if I can do this, if I can, if I can finish this thing and if I can get it to them on time, - then, you know, I'm - [CLAPS HANDS.]
[GRUNTS.]
I'm back.
I will be legit again, they will trust me again and the money that will follow, Jade I can take care of you.
Please.
I need them.
And you promise you'll take care of me? I promise.
[EXHALES.]
Let's get to work on your movie.
Christ, what an evening.
I'm exhausted.
Oh, you're not staying here tonight.
Is that so? I want you to pack your things and leave, now.
Oh, knock it off, Simone.
I'm angry enough as it is.
You're angry? My daughter may never speak to me again.
Oh, and whose fault is that? If you'd just kept your mouth shut instead of humiliating me.
I was provoked.
Oh, so there was no possible way you could suppress the impulse to blow up the entire evening? Says the man who couldn't stop himself from sneaking off to the men's room for a quickie.
Oh, fuck you! I've spent my whole damn life controlling myself, hiding the central fact of my existence so I wouldn't disappoint my family, my friends or my wife.
Hector was the only person who ever saw me for the man I truly am, not the one I was pretending to be.
You have no idea what he meant to me.
Stop romanticizing your grubby little fling.
I loved him! He asked me to run away with him.
Um, but I-I had made a commitment to you, so I chose to stay.
I am your wife.
Am I supposed to be grateful that you didn't walk out? I just want you to see it from my perspective for once.
Just think about what it may have cost me to honor the vow I made to you.
So no, Simone, I do not expect you to be grateful for the sacrifice I made, but for fuck's sake, at least acknowledge it.
I am going to bed.
Not in the guest room.
In our room, in our bed.
You sleep where you like.
The Thompsons just left.
Said to thank you for a lovely time.
So, you're not talking to me.
What am I supposed to say? It was a party.
I wasn't gonna cause a scene.
He hurt her, right in front of you, and you did nothing.
What was I supposed to do? Hit him? I mean, I'm sure our guests would have loved that.
You could have at least confronted him.
Reminded him that kind of behavior is unacceptable.
The guy had been drinking.
I-I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt her.
This is not the first time he's gotten rough with her.
How do you know that? She had several bruises on her arm.
That's why she's wearing long sleeves on such a hot day.
If it's that bad, why doesn't she leave him? And where would she go, Rob? Here? Will you let her sleep on our sofa? Jesus, Beth Ann, I don't know.
And what if Ralph comes banging on our door in the middle of the night to try to drag her back? Would you have the balls to stand up to him then? Don't use that kind of language.
Of course you wouldn't.
You would just slink away like the coward you are! Okay! He's not the perfect husband.
It's not my job to judge him! Would you like the neighbors coming in here and judging you for not being the perfect mother? Huh?! I'm just saying, leave it alone.
[EXHALES.]
I didn't know you were still here.
I was just upstairs.
Just picking up some trash.
So you heard everything? Yeah.
What was that all about? Honey.
It's okay.
You can talk to me.
Whatever it is, I don't judge.
Our daughter died because of me.
I'm the one who's responsible.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
Simone.
What are you doing here? I need to know.
Do you love him? I do.
Okay, then invite me in.
We have a lot to talk about.