800 Words (2015) s01e07 Episode Script

1 War over water I ought to show you the way to the well From chaos to disorder In a town full of lumber Awaken from slumber to an ancient number That might still work That might still work But we're not running out of time Come on.
Hey, Shay We're on your side, yeah? He's on your side.
Let us help.
I don't need anyone's help.
I just want it all to go away, OK? Please, please, please! Please keep it down! Back to your home rooms, now! - Just leave her alone.
- Sorry? You heard me.
Oi! You lot, get inside! In you go.
Thanks for this, Fiona.
Yep, not a worry, Tom.
Normally I'd do this at the station, but with this number of people Yep, you've said.
Everyone in my little office -- wouldn't help, you know, tension-wise.
I'm just gonna make some tea and coffee, eh? Beaut.
Easy on the caffeine, though, eh? Righto.
Good of you to come.
Didn't realise we had a choice.
You did, but it wouldn't look good in the long run, eh? If you say so, Tom.
Victim, reporting for duty.
Thanks for coming, Bill.
Hey.
Why are you here? - As a witness.
- It's not a trial.
Go away.
Reporter, then, for the paper.
Got a pen? No reporters.
No-one who isn't directly involved.
Well, she's not directly involved.
It's her place and she's making the tea.
Don't worry about it.
Deal with those posters.
- I'll be outside if you need me.
- No! What's the form? We sit around, hold hands, then the hugging begins? No, no, not like that at all.
Have you seen this? They're all over the place.
Yes, yes, I have seen them.
Is this your doing? Nah, not me.
But respect to them.
- What are you doing about it? - First this, then that.
These are photographs of my property, illegally taken.
Surely that's breaking some law -- copyright or something.
All in good time, Bill.
Now, sit, please.
Ah, good.
Welcome.
Have a seat.
Let the wheels of restorative justice roll.
Choo-choo! Thanks, Fiona.
I don't understand what you want me to do.
Well, these things normally kick off with the victim -- that's you -- telling the offenders -- them -- in your own words, how the crime has impacted upon your life.
It bloody pissed me off, is how it's impacted me.
I was hoping for something a bit more constructive than that.
They broke into my home! They have to be punished.
Is that constructive enough for you? Come on, Bill.
They didn't even touch your stupid train set.
It's a model railway.
- That's not important.
- It is to me! I mean in the bigger picture.
The bigger picture is there's now pictures of my model railway all over, invading my privacy.
How's that for 'impact'? - Showing what you're up to.
- Shay! They're little models on a bigger model, that's all.
Until they turn into real buildings in a real town, that's all.
It's not a crime to have dreams, son.
Breaking into a man's home, vandalising company property -- those are crimes.
Has any of this been proven yet? Last time I checked, no-one pled guilty to anything.
I bloody walked in on them, Zac! And maybe they just popped round to your place to let you know that some bugger had vandalised your precious sign again.
- Oh, no, that was us too.
- Shay, don't.
Why not? Might as well own up to everything.
It's over anyway.
Yep.
Yeah, we did it.
And you know it's been vandalised again, don't you? "Free shake" -- I mean, what's that supposed to mean? Is that a joke at the expense of old people? It's their celebrity couple name.
Their what? Shay and Ike -- 'Shake'.
Like 'Brangelina' or 'Kimye'.
We are not a couple.
I'm treating it as a copycat crime.
Oh, this is funny, is it, Zac? Come on, Mac -- it's two kids doing dumb stuff for something they believe in, it's not the end of the world.
Oh, that's excellent parenting.
What about you, George? You're sitting there saying not very much for a change.
What have you got to say on behalf of your family? I'll pick you up after school.
- I can get the bus home.
- No, I'll come get you.
Don't you trust me to get home without breaking the law? I don't know.
You tell me.
Because once upon a time I thought I knew you, but now I have no idea who you are.
- I'm still the same me, Dad.
- Really? Because I've just found out all this stuff happening behind my back.
Did I give up the right to a life when you dragged us here? Don't you dare use that as an excuse for the choices you've made! Oh, I have no excuses, Dad.
I am guilty as charged, on all fronts .
.
so let the punishment rain down.
So take my hand and I'll lead you back To the other side Get yourself into a better place - Woody? - And live your life Woody! Oh, hey, George.
Hope you don't mind me sitting in your chair.
Just wanted to feel what it was like on the throne of words.
- Much like any other chair.
- Yeah.
Exactly what I realised.
Not a good work day today, Woody.
Exactly why work is the last reason I'm here.
- Oh, unless you want to.
- No.
- And no surfing either.
- Nah.
Me either.
- Not unless you want to.
- No.
- So why are you here? - Oh, for you, mate.
Anything you need.
Hey, how did that, um, restoration thingy go? How it went was that I sat there, Woody, thinking I should say something, anything, and when I actually needed to speak What about you, George? You're saying not very much for a change.
What do you say on behalf of your family? All I could think of was how much I wished it was Laura, not me, in that room.
Yeah.
Because of her being a lawyer.
No, because she would have known exactly the right thing to say.
What about you? What have you got to say on behalf of your family? What have I got to say? For starters, you need to pull your head in, stop getting all pompous on it.
Yes, Shay broke the law and she will own that and she will face the consequences.
But quite frankly, a grown man playing with toy trains, building his little model dream town? If you're getting a hard time, mate, you brought it on yourself.
Come on, we're leaving.
And you would do very well to stay far away from my girl.
Yep.
Yes, Mrs Turner.
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
Unfortunately it was me.
What have you got to say on behalf of your family? Um, well, I mean obviously I'm catching up on everything, and, uh, there's a lot to take in.
- What was the decision, then? - There wasn't one.
Thanks for wasting my time.
And then everyone left.
And I took my frustrations out on Shay when I dropped her off at school.
Did you know? Uh, about which bit? Any of it.
About the civil disobedience campaign, no.
What about the other bit? The, uh .
.
you know? Yeah, the 'you know' that I didn't know.
- I thought you did know.
- So you did know? No! Yes.
Well, no.
I mean, I had a feeling when I saw him sneaking out of here one day.
Here? They were doing it here? I can't say that for certain.
I just saw him coming from the side of the house.
Yeah, from Shay's room.
If it helps, whatever was happening then, it's clearly not happening now.
I feel like a visitor, Woody, in my own life, that I've only just woken up to the real world.
- God, I'm an idiot.
- No, you're not an idiot.
No, no, yes, I am.
OK, well, look, I'll just hang here.
Hey.
Sign at the studio said you were here.
I know.
I wrote it.
- How are you? - Oh, I've been better.
You had the thing this morning, right? Yeah.
How did that go? How's Shay? I have no actual idea how Shay is, apart from being pissed off with the world, which only adds to the feeling that I've been living under a rock this whole bloody time.
- How long was it going on for? - I don't know.
- How long have you known? - Does it matter? It does.
I'm her father, I have a right to know.
Shay has a right to a private life.
- She's only 17.
- Exactly.
She's 17.
The best thing I could do was advise her to tell you.
Which she didn't.
It's not entirely surprising.
Well, it was to me.
Pretty much everything is surprising to me these days.
Have you spoken to her about it? Words have been exchanged I don't want to talk about it! - I never want to talk about it! - Shay There's no point in us talking about it because you won't understand.
I said I'm not talking about it! The thing is, I realised that I can handle Arlo.
But Shay .
.
Shay was always Laura territory.
Mothers and daughters.
Yeah.
Exactly.
The one thing I can never be to her.
- Did Dad send you? - What? To check I'm actually at school.
No.
What are you doing? - I'm coming with you.
- Why? As company? A friendly face? Haven't you heard? I've got a whole new bunch of friends now.
They've even got name badges in my honour.
How neat is that (?) OK, well, how's about for protection, then? OK, first thing -- I'm not the one who needs protecting.
And second -- if I did, I wouldn't choose you.
Gee, thanks.
You ever gonna talk to me again? - Wasn't planning on it.
- Come on, Shay.
I'm not really sure what I did wrong here, apart from, you know, not realising that I was your first.
Go away.
You've got a whole new bunch of fans now, just dying to be the next conquest of the great Ike.
You were never a conquest.
Yet strangely I felt like one.
Shay, can I have a word? - I've got a class.
- Yeah, mine.
We can be late.
So, how are you coping? OK.
Is there anything I can do to help? Sorry, isn't this where you give me the official hard word for bringing the school into disrepute or whatever? Oh, we have other people for that.
No, this is me asking you if there's anything I can do to help.
- Because of Dad? - No.
Because of you.
Look, all I'm saying is I know what you're going through.
I don't think you do.
The outsider everyone looks at, going, "That's her, she's the one," until you just want to disappear.
I've been there.
And if you want someone to talk to, you can come to me, OK? We should get to class.
- Mr Turner? - Oh, hi, Siouxsie.
Can you tell your daughter she's my new hero? - No, I won't tell her that.
- You should.
Because she is.
Why don't you tell her yourself? I don't talk to blondes.
Shouldn't you be on the other side of this thing? I'm the black sheep of my family, just like Shay.
'Saturday'.
Jan's phone.
- Is Jan there? - No.
Is that George? Hi, Noah.
Is she around? No, no, she's not.
When will she be back in? I was just about to call you, actually.
You guys talk -- like, you're friends or something.
We are friends.
So she didn't call you about the restructuring? What restructuring? The whole magazine's getting a makeover, breathing some life into this dinosaur.
Not before time.
And she's not happy about it, and now she's gone AWOL and the whole management team's looking at me like it's my fault.
Nightmare.
Alright, Noah, when she gets in, could you get her to call me? It'll be top of my to-do list.
Keegan! Hi, it's Jan.
Please leave a message.
Hi.
It's George.
Could you call me when you get this? I just need a friendly voice to speak to right now.
For God's sake.
Will they have to go to trial? I honestly don't know.
They tagged a sign and got caught playing 'Scooby-Doo'.
- Who cares? - I really wish you'd told me.
Dad, the first rule of teen survival is don't dob on your older sister.
But I did tell her to tell you.
Yeah, you and everyone else.
So why didn't she? Because it was her thing and no-one else's.
How could I not know? Because dads always look away when it comes to their daughters, don't they? Knock-knock! - Fiona.
- Hi.
- I brought you this.
- Let me guess Lasagne? Yes.
What? Oh, it's just that after Laura died, people bought us food offerings and usually it was lasagne.
I'm sorry.
Right, well .
.
sorry for bringing cliched food.
No, no, honestly, it's much appreciated.
Yeah, no, I'll take that.
Thank you.
Would you like a glass of wine? Ah, I'm fine, thanks.
I was actually just wondering if Shay was here.
Yeah, she's in her room.
Theoretically she's in her room.
Actually I'm here.
How can I help? I'm more wondering how I can help you.
- Why would you want to help me? - Shay! What, is that not a fair question? It's fine, George.
Look, it .
.
can't be easy for you without your mum Oh, are you offering to take her place? Shay, knock it off! Not at all.
No, I just know what it's like to be on the wrong side of the McNamaras.
Trust me, they can hold a grudge for years.
Do you think I actually care about the McNamaras and whatever side I'm on with them? I did what I did because I wanted to.
Let's leave it at that, eh? Knock-knock.
It's just me.
- What are you doing here? - I came to see Shay.
Yeah, but, I mean, who's looking after the club? - Monty.
- What?! Monty, Monty, Monty, Monty Whoo-hoo! He'll be fine.
The offer still stands.
- The answer still stands.
- Right.
Whatever.
So, I hear you're the queen of the Weld criminal underworld.
Something like that.
Cool.
No, not cool.
Anyway, I came to see if you wanted a job.
- Doing? - Well, at the surf shop.
I want to cut back my hours.
Is this you trying to make me do something more productive with my life? This is me trying to get you to do something in this dead-end town.
Other than vandalising it? Other than being a sad-arse about it.
Thanks, but surfing is Dad's thing, not mine.
It's working in a shop.
Yeah, but it helps if you're interested in what the store sells, don't you think? Fine.
I was just trying to help.
I know.
Thanks.
Keep stirring the lasagne.
It's risotto.
What the hell is wrong with you? Oh, apart from being a slut and a criminal? - Being so rude to these people.
- You mean your girlfriends? - Oh, don't start that again.
- Why not? It's true -- them trying to play mum.
That's for you, Dad, not me.
They're being nice, doing you a favour! No, they're trying to do you a favour, helping you deal with your delinquent daughter.
Give it a rest! Do you want to alienate everyone here just to prove a point? "See how horrible this place is, Dad? "See how everyone here hates me?" Is that your grand plan? I don't have a grand plan, Dad.
Now, I'd like to be alone, if that's OK.
(Hey.
) (He doesn't get it.
) He doesn't get it.
Where the hell have you been? I've been here is where I've been, trying to keep the ship afloat.
- What do you want, Noah? - Your column.
Any chance you could rustle one up, like now-ish? Why? It's not due for a few more days.
Let me put it this way -- you'd be doing yourself a real big favour.
Why? Well, between you and me, apparently Jan had this huge falling-out with the managing editor and now she's tossed her handbag and gone bush, not answering anyone's calls.
But the thing is, George, with her gone you've lost your number-one fan.
So? So the restructuring team are culling, if you get my drift.
Well, the thing is, Noah, my column is the last thing on my mind, if you get my drift.
So if you want to cull, then you cull, because everything else in my life has turned to shit.
Why should my column be any different? A place that's holding no virtues Where everything is in misuse If I could only get out of .
.
this town now A place that's holding no virtues Where everything is in misuse If I could only get out of this town now A place that's holding no virtues Hearts of fire Feels like We desire Light A place that's holding no virtue Hearts of fire Feels like We desire Light All I'm wanting now Is a break, oh Then wipe your eyes And start again It's an open ending, open ending Lights are filled with fire Come take it in It's an open ending Hearts of fire Feels like we desire - You crazy girl.
- Life Hearts of fire Right, are we getting the bus or what? Hello? Constable Tom.
George.
Mind if I come in? Sure.
Uh, I don't know if you heard the siren go off last night.
No.
It was late -- you were probably all asleep when the contentious billboard burnt down.
This was found in the wreckage.
Fairly standard petrol can.
You can buy them at the hardware store over at Stafford.
In a way I'm not sad that bloody billboard's finally gone -- bane of my life.
I'm just hoping that's the end of it, eh? Well, I'll let you folks get on with your day.
- I need your daughter.
- You do? I did her a favour once.
It's time for some payback.
You know the favour I'm talking about, right? I was just taking her to school.
I thought she could skip school today, especially on the day everyone's talking about how the billboard burnt down.
- School or me -- your choice.
- You.
- You cool with that? - Yeah, sure.
Climb in.
You too, Arlo.
I'll drop you at school on the way.
Give your dad some peace and quiet, eh? - On the way to where? - You'll see.
Catch you later, George.
Wait till you see the billboard.
It's totally trashed.
- It's awesome.
- Not awesome, Billy.
But didn't you say last ni No, it's not awesome, Billy.
- Why was Constable Tom here? - Shut up, Billy.
- Hello? - George.
Glad I caught you before you started doing whatever it is you do over there.
Look, if they want to cull me, just cull me.
The thing is, mate, turns out a lot of people like you.
They like what you do and they want you to stay on.
Fine.
Well, what's the problem, then? It's just a couple of the boys upstairs.
I need to give them something to get you across the line.
What line? The line you need to cross to keep your job.
Has Jan shown up yet? Oh, forget Jan.
She is missing, presumed unemployed.
This is about you deciding whether you wish to join her on the scrap heap.
George, I know this is crap but it's over to you if you want to play the game.
You do like writing your column, right, George? Then do yourself a favour and whack one out today.
And make it bold -- not your usual navel gazing.
You know, we're thinking bold now, so let's put a rocket up it, eh? Hello? Are you still there? Yeah, yeah, I'm still here.
And OK.
"People think they know me through this column, "that somehow this is an accurate representation "of my life.
"It isn't.
"It never has been.
"Until now.
" Your dad's a pretty good guy, you know.
I'm aware what you think of him.
Not what I think that matters.
It's what you think that we're here to talk about.
He's trying to understand you.
I know.
And you think you do? I think I'm better at it than he is.
But then he's at a disadvantage because he's a bloke.
While he may not always get it right, his heart's in the right place.
Yeah, his heart definitely is in the right place.
- But mine isn't.
- It could be.
Not anymore.
I don't fit in here and I can't disappear.
Everyone thinks they know me, everyone having an attitude about me.
Everyone who tries to be my friend when I don't know what I actually mean to them.
Can you drop this, please? I don't really want to talk about it with you.
So talk about it with George.
When I'm ready, I will.
All I wanted to hear.
Come on.
- Where to now? - Stafford.
Denis is earning me a freakin' fortune, selling his art to the Eurotrash set.
You can help me spend my guilt money.
Hello? Aunty Jan? No.
Who's this? Arlo.
Who's this? Noah.
I'm sure your dad's mentioned me.
Nope.
Never mind.
Uh, hey, is he there? Uh, no.
OK.
Cool.
Uh, just called to let him know everyone loved it.
- Loved what? - His column.
What, the last one? Today's one, about your sister.
Sorry? Anyway, just let him know I trimmed it a bit but everyone loves it here.
Brutally honest stuff.
Wait, so it's not actually 800 words? I know it's called '800 Words', but, come on, who's crazy enough to count the words? Well, he does.
Yeah, he'll be cool.
Uh, can you get him to call me? Hey.
If you're going to live here, you may as well enjoy it.
I get that.
- You need anything, call me.
- Will do.
Hey.
Congratulations, top work.
What have I done now? Only sent Dad screaming over the edge, that's all.
"This is a letter to my daughter, Shay, "from a father who no longer knows how to talk to you, "and who seems to be getting it wrong at every turn "no matter what he does.
"This is a letter to say that I know "I can never replace your mother, "no matter how hard I try.
"And the harder I try, the worse I seem to make it.
"Your mother's gone, and we both have to live with that.
"This is a letter to my daughter ".
.
asking you to talk to me ".
.
to tell me what's going on inside that ".
.
that wonderful, remarkable mind of yours.
" Hello.
How was your day with Katie? - What was the one rule, Dad? - What? "The true reason I brought you here was the ghosts.
"All over Sydney there were ghosts of your mother -- "the places we'd been, the things we'd done as a family.
"I couldn't live with those ghosts ".
.
so I had to escape them.
"The problem ".
.
I realise now, is that ghosts follow you.
"And I can't compete with your mother's ghost ".
.
not unless you tell me how.
When you started writing your column, what was the one rule we agreed on? Oh, that wasn't so much a 'rule' as a 'guideline'.
No, they were and still are rules! What was the rule, Dad? "If I am to use you as a source material I must do so obliquely.
"I must not use your name or include any embarrassing stuff "that could be traced back to you directly "and cause you social death.
" You broke every bit of that rule.
You took everything that's happened -- you took Shay's private story -- and put it out there for the world! She was in tears, Dad.
- Yeah.
- See? Because I love it.
What? - Really? - Yeah.
Just reading it written out like that, it helped me make my mind up about a lot of things.
Like what? It doesn't matter.
The point is, I know you're not Mum, and you should never have to be her.
So does that mean we can .
.
you know, talk about stuff now? Not quite yet.
But we will.
We can catch the bus to school.
You don't have to go to school if you don't want to.
Nah, I had a day off yesterday.
Can't hide here all my life.
Come on, weirdo.
- Got your lunch? - Nah, I'm all good.
Want me to pick you up after school? No, do what you need to do.
Go surfing.
Oh, and if you see any of your lady friends, tell them thanks.
Tell Katie she really helped.
Yeah, I will do.
OK, how come you're suddenly the queen of serene? I just figured there's no point in fighting everything, eh? No, you can't seriously be OK with that column, right? I'm perfectly fine with it.
What are you doing? More-or-ore Now I miss you More-or-ore Now I miss you more More-or-ore Now I miss you More-or-ore Now I miss you Hi, it's Jan.
Please leave a message.
OK, I am getting seriously worried now.
Please call me.
- Hello? - George.
Hi, Tracey.
I don't know if we need to be concerned, but Shay hasn't turned up for school today.
Well, she left here with Arlo.
Yeah, he's here with me.
But apparently at the bus stop she took off with Ike.
What do you mean when you say "took off"? On his motorbike.
And he hasn't turned up for school either.
OK, thanks, Tracey.
I'll take it from here.
If she turns up, I'll let you know.
This is Shay.
I'll get back to you.
They're not in there.
I checked when school phoned.
But by all means, check again.
- Where else might they be? - Mate, I have no idea.
- Anything.
Anything at all.
- Dunno.
Maybe the place that started all this hoo-ha.
Woody! George! Katie's got me making the dunnies habitable for the shindig.
- Have you seen Shay? - In the dunnies? - Anywhere.
- No, mate, not today! She and Ike have taken off! Young lovers on the run? Yeah, maybe something like that.
Well, look, if I see them I'll sing out! - Thanks.
- No worries.
How long have they been gone? - They didn't turn up at school.
- Not long, then.
No, but given recent events They're probably just patching up their relationship.
That's not making me feel any better.
She could do a lot worse around here, believe me.
Again, not making me feel any better.
Was there anything she said about this yesterday? No.
Please don't cover for her again.
I'm not.
And I wouldn't, not in this situation.
OK, OK.
I'm sorry.
Go home, wait there.
I'll rattle the kumara vine.
If I hear anything, I'll let you know.
I'm not gonna sit around feeling useless.
I've done enough of that.
So, why would she be here? You offered her a job, someone to talk to Which she didn't exactly greet with open arms.
Yeah, you're clutching at straws there, George.
Go home.
She'll come back.
If you like, I'll tell you places I used to take boys Go home.
She'll come back when she's ready.
Yeah, thanks anyway.
Hey, George, great piece today.
What what piece? Got a Google alert -- tells me every time your name pops up.
My column is in the weekend paper.
Not this one.
But lovely work.
Reminded me again of how I felt when my beloved Norma popped her clogs.
But then, my kids aren't a patch on your girl, eh? Thanks, Dad.
If you don't want my disappointment, make me bloody proud of you.
- Pasta? - Scallops.
Hey, George, if you ever want to talk, just yell out.
- I'm there for you.
- You are? - Solo dads.
- Oh.
Teenage girls and all the nightmares it entails.
But there's joy.
There's always joy as well.
Thanks, Monty.
- Hey, do you play lawn bowls? - Uh, no.
I find talking and lawn bowls a very pleasurable combination.
You didn't tell me you were running it today.
Everyone loved it so much -- the honesty, the plea for help.
People were crying in the office.
So they ran it in the Opinion section as a taster of where your column is heading.
But it's not heading there.
It was a one-time thing.
We can talk about that.
And we need another column by Monday.
George, I'm sorry, but if I dropped everything every time a couple of kids wag school for the day, quite frankly, round here, I'd have no time for anything else.
She is not wagging school.
You know this for a fact? Look, even with everything going on, this is not like her.
I'll tell you what, George -- I'll take a bit of a drive round the usual places I catch couples courting .
.
and if I find her, I'll let you know.
But until then, the best thing you can do is Go home.
Yeah, I know.
Nice, nice.
Shay? Shay? Hey.
She turned up yet? Nah.
- Anything? - Nah.
I've looked everywhere, asked everyone I can think of, left messages How's the kumara vine? Silent, I'm afraid.
Zac, I don't care what sob story he gives you -- if that boy shows up, you call me the moment he walks in the door, OK? Good.
Still no sign of Ike.
I gathered that.
Hey, Dad? Look what I found in Shay's room.
- Shay? - Hi, Dad.
Where the hell are you? The first thing I need to say is I really love you.
I love you too.
Where are you? And I need to say I'm sorry.
- For everything.
- Look, that's fine.
Just tell me where you are.
Is Ike there? No, and this has nothing to do with him anymore so please don't take it out on him.
Shay, where are you? In Sydney.
At Grandpa and Grandma's house.
I made Ike drive me to the airport and bought a ticket online with your card but I swear I will pay you back.
Jesus, how long have you been planning this? I haven't.
It just happened, OK? I'd been thinking about it ever since .
.
everything.
And then I read what you wrote and I decided.
It's what I needed to do, Dad.
And I loved what you wrote, honestly.
About the ghosts being why you left.
Why we left.
Well, your ghosts are my memories, and I need those to live.
Otherwise Mum dies every day for me.
Did Roger and Trish put you up to this? No, they had nothing to do with it.
Can you just stop being all Dad about it, please? And how long are you planning to be there? I'm so sorry, Dad.
I tried, I swear, but I can't live there.
I need the ghosts.
You can't live with them .
.
I don't see any other way.
George, it's Trish.
Now, I'm sure you get how hard this is for Shay and she's had a hell day As we all have, Trish.
So maybe we should just pick this up tomorrow.
That'd be good.
I just want to speak to my daughter and say goodnight.
Of course.
(Your dad wants to say goodnight, darling.
) I love you, Shay .
.
no matter what you do or where you are, OK? I know.
She's in Sydney.
Says she's not coming back.
Oh, God.
I am so sorry.
OK, that was huge mistake.
I almost died wheeling this thing up the bloody driveway.
More fool me for getting the taxi to drop me at the bottom of the drive.
What?