A Tale Dark & Grimm (2021) s01e07 Episode Script

1
[whirring, clunking]
[thuds]
[whooshing]
[pleasant fairy-tale music plays]
[William] Once upon a time,
fairy tales were awesome.
We know, you don't believe us.
You think fairy tales are cute
and pink and full of fairies.
[chitters]
-[whacks]
-Well, they're not.
-Real fairy tales are scary.
-[thuds]
-[adventurous music plays]
-[cawing]
Follow two children
as they venture off into a dark tale.
-[barking]
-A scary tale.
-A strange tale.
-[howls]
[roars]
-[shrieks]
-A… Wait a minute.
Are you even old enough for this?
-[thudding]
-You really think you can handle it?
[demons chuckle, gibber]
-[music rising]
-[sizzling hiss, bubbling]
-[gentle music plays]
-[birds chirping]
[crows cawing]
Once upon a time,
an old man lay dy--
[Johannes wheezes, coughs]
[gasps]
Once upon a time--
-[coughing]
-Sorry. [chuckles] His story now.
[gasps, coughs]
Oh… Once upon a time,
an old man lay dying.
[gasps] Did he say dying?!
-Yes! Dibs on the pancreas!
-[eerie sting]
[Jacob whimpers]
Um…
Could you start
further back than right now?
A different old man. The king.
Our father is dying?!
Wha--? No! No! No, no…
The old king,
your father's father, your grandfather.
[wheezes, coughs]
Uh…
Since you left…
-[sinister music plays]
-…a darkness has fallen over the kingdom.
Your parents need you.
What?
-[gloomy music plays]
-No way. We're never going back to them.
Perhaps my story will change
your minds before it's… too late.
[groans loudly]
We gotta sit through
a whole story before dinner?
[comedic sting]
-[enchanting music plays]
-[Johannes] Once upon a time, an old man…
not me, the king…
not your father, your grandfather…
lay dying.
-Where is my most faithful servant?
-[regal music plays]
-[door opens and closes]
-Ah, my old friend.
My king.
-I'm soon to pass on.
-[sad music plays]
[coughs]
Has my son returned yet?
-Please take good care of him for me.
-[hopeful music plays]
And promise me
that you'll show him his inheritance,
the castle, the treasury,
the entire kingdom!
But…
-[dramatic music plays]
-…you must never show my son
the blue room.
[mysterious music plays]
For in that room
is the portrait of the Golden Princess.
And if he sees it, he will surely
fall madly in love with her!
[wheezes]
But she is cursed. Cursed!
Whoever marries her
-will die a horrible death.
-[sinister music plays]
Just spitballing here,
but, uh, maybe get rid of the painting?
There is also a curse
on getting rid of the painting.
There are a lot of curses around here.
See that goblet right there?
-[sinister music plays]
-Cursed!
[dramatic sting]
As you wish, my king.
I promise never to show your son
-the blue room.
-[mysterious music plays]
Good. Now who wants cake?
[coughs, wheezes]
Obviously our father
never saw the portrait
because he married our mother.
Yeah. Dad couldn't have fallen in love
with some cursed lady
'cause he didn't die.
There is more you need to understand.
-[dramatic music plays]
-Once upon a time, a son returned home.
-[neighs]
-[clunking]
-My father, is he…
-[tense music plays]
-[groans sadly]
-[flame hisses]
[sad music plays]
[sobs]
-[magic jingles]
-[fanfare plays]
[regal music plays]
[sighs] Oh…
I have something that might help
distract you from your sadness, my king.
-Let me show you your inheritance.
-[dramatic music rising]
-Ta-da!
-[music swells]
[clunking, whirring]
[suspenseful music plays]
-[sighs]
-[whimsical music plays]
Nothing to see here.
Ta-da!
-[flushes]
-[sighs]
[music continues]
Nothing to see here.
-Ta-da!
-[coins clinking]
[groans]
-[music continues]
-Nothing to see here.
Ta-da!
Oh, books!
-Shh!
-[dramatic sting]
So that's it, the entire Kingdom of Grimm.
It's all yours now.
-But I have no one to share it with.
-[gloomy music plays]
No family.
It's just been me and my father ever since
the day Mother took up spear-catching.
Of course I have you,
dear faithful Johannes.
But still…
I am… alone.
-[tense music plays]
-Oh, by the way, what's in the blue room?
[mysterious music plays]
Huh, I'm sorry. Um, what--
No, uh-- No, is there a blue room?
[mysterious ding]
We passed it a couple times and each
time, you said, "Nothing to see here!"
It kind of makes me think
there is something to see there.
But you didn't show him, right?
[mysterious music plays]
Oh. Did you at least tell him
it was just a broom closet?
[comedic sting]
Oh, sure.
It's easy to think that after the fact.
Your father made me promise
never to show you this room
because he feared
you would fall in love and die.
Well, why didn't you tell me
it was just a broom closet?!
Now, I have to look!
I command you to unlock this door.
Oh, right. Uh, I should have locked it.
[ominous music plays]
-[woman humming theme song]
-[gasps]
[humming continues]
[gasps] She's…
[magic jingling]
She's the most beautiful woman
in the whole world!
[both] Oh, it's Mom!
-We really should have seen that coming.
-I like surprises.
How come she never mentioned
she was cursed?
And what does it have to do
with them chopping our heads off?
There's more you need to understand.
There's more?! [groans]
I give up.
Old guys are all stringy anyways.
Once upon a time,
-a lonely king fell madly in love…
-[enchanting music plays]
…with a cursed princess.
Uh, good morning, my king.
-[yelps]
-[dramatic music plays]
-[skids]
-Your majesty?
Shh!
-My liege?
-[tense note playing]
Sire?
-Your Highness?
-[note fades]
[tea set rattles]
Hey, boss! [echoing]
-[dramatic music resumes]
-[skids]
[tense note plays]
[groans]
[gentle music plays]
Your breakfast, my king.
Does she look sad to you?
Not just sad, lonely.
Like me.
Indeed.
She is the loneliest woman in the world.
The Golden Princess was cursed long ago,
and now anyone she loves
dies a horrible death,
anyone she likes dies an ordinary death.
And anyone she merely tolerates
develops a persistent rash.
I have it all written down somewhere.
Why would anyone place
such a… curse on someone so lovely?
-Devil knows why.
-[Hansel] Ugh.
I never heard anyone say that
in my whole life,
and now I feel like
I hear it all the time.
[tragic music plays]
She locked herself in the tower
to avoid hurting anyone.
The only thing that comforts her
in her loneliness is gold.
-I must go to her.
-[tea set rattles]
But the curse is too dangerous!
-I don't care! Love breaks curses!
-[ominous music plays]
It does, right?
[rattles]
Well, if it doesn't,
-I will die knowing I followed my heart.
-[gentle music plays]
Please, Johannes.
She's the one
I want to share my kingdom with.
As you wish, Your Majesty.
We will need a plan.
[gasps] Yippee!
[triumphant music plays]
[Johannes] Hmm.
[adventurous music rising]
[music swells, fades]
Is this all of it?
The entire Royal Treasury
and most of the Rainy Day Treasury.
The Golden Princess only leaves her tower
for the finest golden wares.
My golden wares are the finest. [chuckles]
[inhales] What does "wares" mean, anyway?
Uh, basically, it just means stuff,
but it sounds classier.
[gentle music plays]
"Stuff." Oh, how pedestrian.
What are you talking about?
"Wares" sounds way snobbier.
[Johannes] Ahem.
[music stops]
-Welp, that's our two pence. [whistles]
-We'll just swab away now. No need for us.
-Uh…
-[William chuckles]
You were saying about your feet?
So, how long
will this journey to her land take?
Not long.
[adventurous music plays]
You were right. That wasn't long.
[fanfare]
-[birds chirping]
-[enchanting music plays]
[gasps nervously]
-[pats]
-[tense note plays]
-Greetings.
-[music continues]
-[nervously] I have good gold… stuff.
-[disappointed sting]
[sighs]
He should have said "wares."
From whence do you hail?
I, uh… It…
Uh…
-[whistles]
-[enchanting music continues]
I'm the king of Grimm.
On his deathbed, my father told his
servant not to let me see your portrait,
but I did see it and I love you,
and will you marry me?
-Oh no.
-[suspenseful music plays]
Your father was a wise man,
-for I am cursed.
-[tragic music plays]
All whom I love
are fated to die horrible deaths.
-I know, and I don't care.
-[hopeful music plays]
I don't fear death.
I only fear a life without you by my side.
Oh, that was good.
Yeah, he's got game.
Well… are you going to show me your stuff?
[Johannes] Once upon a time,
a king and a Golden Princess
had their first date…
Ahe-hem! I'm so sorry to interrupt.
But you need to hear
the other side of this story.
-Sorry. We're doing what now?
-Are we in a story inside a story now?
Or a story inside a story
inside the story?
Ugh! My brain itches.
Johannes isn't going
to tell you this part.
-Because it's not important.
-Because he wasn't there.
But we must ensure
that you get the full and complete tale,
and that includes…
the tale of how we became ravens.
-Ugh, I hate this part.
-[William] Yes, dear audience.
We were once as human
as I imagine most of you are.
Behold, two noble deckhands.
-And these two are we.
-[dramatic sting]
What?! Mind blown! [imitates explosion]
Hey, nobody's looking.
Let's cut out,
see if we can get a game going in town.
Ah, the lot of the working man,
to toil in wait for--
Will you knock it off?
You're not an actor anymore.
You're a deckhand.
Very well.
I will join you in your vulgar amusements.
Also I got some loaded dice
so we're totally going to clean up.
Ugh. Do we really have
to go through this again?
Yes, we must tell
the full and complete tale.
Want to be stuck as ravens forever?
Wait, you guys used to be humans?
We told you like a hundred times, Dotty.
-Hundred.
-I told you this morning.
No way! Never!
Not even once! Mind blown again, man!
Ka-pow!
-[jaunty music playing in pub]
-[Jacob sniffs] Mm.
I smell sulfur.
Well, it wasn't me.
-It was me. It's always me. [chuckles]
-[mischievous string music plays]
-Better luck next time.
-[coins clink]
-[chuckles]
-[grumbles]
[dice rattle]
Have a seat, stranger.
Yeah, but I gotta warn you.
-I've been rolling hot.
-[Devil] Oh!
-[inhales] I am no stranger to heat.
-[string music plays]
So anyway, the king is running
an awful risk with this birdbrained plan.
Ah, but love is like a child
that longs for everything it can.
Mm. "Birdbrained,"
what an enchantrifying phrase.
Eh, but what is this risk you speak of?
Ah. [clears throat]
[whispers] The king wants
to marry the Golden Princess.
-[chuckles]
-But she is cursed. Is she not?
-Oh, she is.
-Mm-hmm.
Why would anyone curse someone so lovely?
Devil knows why. [chuckles]
Say, I happen to know
the details of this curse.
Would you like to hear?
-[inhales] It's very fascinatory.
-[string music plays]
-Absolutely.
-I'm all ears.
Excellent.
I'll just need you to sign here.
What is this?
Uh, merely a standard
non-disclosure agreement.
Okay, let me give this a quick read-over.
"Speak not these words
to any soul, yada yada,
cursed to be ravens forevermore,
condemned to tell
the full and complete tale."
Whoa, the rest of this
is in hieroglyphics.
Come on, Jacob,
no one reads the fine print. [chuckles]
Jacob.
Very good.
Now, the details of this curse,
specifically the part
-that will affect your king…
-[tense note plays]
-[ominous music plays]
-Death shall come astride
a noble beast to ride.
The kingly life is done
unless away it runs.
And next a garment seen
shall captivate the queen.
Then burn this dress with fire
or else the queen expires.
At last, the mistress drops,
her heart within her stops.
Unless you bite her lip
-and three blood drops you sip.
-[dripping]
-[dramatic music plays]
-But he who thwarts this curse,
his fate shall be much worse.
[voice distorts] If reasons he make known,
at once he'll turn to stone!
-[whooshes]
-[both thud]
I told you it was fascinatory. [chuckles]
-[whimsical music plays]
-Well, thank you for this most edifying,
um, experience, Mr…
Oh… [chuckles softly]
Just call me The Devil. [chuckles]
-Mr. The Devil was my father.
-[eerie music playing]
[music stops]
-[Jacob screaming]
-[yelping]
Thank you so much
for making me relive that.
Well, due to that agreement
you didn't read…
You said no one does!
…we're cursed to remain ravens
until we tell the full and complete tale,
and that was an important part
that Johannes did not know.
Hey, can I ask a question?
Is it just me
or is that Devil guy really sweet?
[whimsical ding]
[flies buzzing]
Is he…
I can't tell.
He looked dead when I first met him.
[sputters]
Psst. Johannes, uh, you okay?
[mutters]
Jojo sleepy.
Uh, story, uh… Oh, where was I?
-Mom and Dad on their first date.
-Bet they were hitting it off.
Of course they were.
But how did Dad escape the curse?
Once upon a time,
a lonely king…
-[gentle music plays]
-…sought to win a golden heart.
[chuckles] It would appear
you have everything.
Why do you pursue me?
Because I love you!
All that I have means nothing without you.
[Princess sighs]
All that I have are my wares.
My many, many, many…
[inhales] …many golden wares.
But I would give it all
to have a family again.
That's all I want too!
A family!
-A wife!
-A husband!
[both] And children!
[hopeful music plays]
It could never be.
It's said that a fate worse than death
-awaits my children if ever I have any.
-[ominous music plays]
-[hopeful music plays]
-I would never let harm come to them!
Every servant and soldier in my kingdom
would be tasked with their protection.
They would be the treasure of our kingdom.
They… loved us before we were even born.
But that doesn't make any sense
because, you know.
[imitates cutting]
[chuckles]
[triumphant music rising]
She said yes!
[all cheering]
[enchanting music plays]
Prepare the ship!
We're heading home!
And we'll be married the moment we arrive.
[cheering]
Curses be cursed.
[gasps]
-[cheering continues]
-[enchanting music continues]
Welcome to the Kingdom of Grimm!
[blowing fanfare]
We have to do something.
They'll die horrible deaths!
Someone has to warn them about the curse.
We're the only ones
who know how to stop it.
-Look, the literal Devil warned us…
-[gasps]
…that we would be cursed too
if we tell anyone about this.
And who would believe
such a tall tale anyway?
"Pardon me, oh great King,
but the Devil gave us
the details of a curse
-about to befall you and your bride."
-[gasps]
"Well, my king, fortunately for you,
my extensive theatrical experience
-has honed my memory…"
-Not this again.
"…so I can tell you
precisely what the devil said.
"Death shall come astride
a noble beast to ride."
And that is how I learned
the details of the curse,
and how it could be broken.
Well, that's a relief.
[weakly] Hmm. Yes. So you would think.
-[coughs wheezily]
-[wind whooshes]
-[pants] Ooh.
-[gentle music plays]
Is it much further?
-Oh…
-I'm sorry, my queen. If only I'd--
[horse neighs]
[awe-inspiring music plays]
[neighs]
Why, this is
the most beautiful beast I've ever seen.
Yes, it's perfect.
[William] "Death shall come astride
a noble beast to ride."
"The kingly life is done
unless away it runs."
-Run! [slaps]
-[suspenseful music plays]
-Yah!
-[Queen squeals]
[horse whinnies]
What is the meaning of this?
I cannot say, my king.
You will have to trust me.
[gentle music plays]
You are my most faithful friend,
and I trust you.
Come. We have a wedding to plan.
[claps]
[pleasant music plays]
Ta-da!
Oh! This is the most
beautiful garment I've ever seen!
It's perfect.
[William] "And next a garment seen
shall captivate the queen."
"Then burn this dress with fire
or else the queen expires."
-[suspenseful music plays]
-[squeals]
[King gasps]
[grunts uncertainly]
-[screams]
-[gasps]
What is the meaning of this?
-[fire crackles]
-I cannot say, my king.
-You will have to trust me.
-[tense music plays]
[sighs]
-[gentle music plays]
-You are my most faithful friend,
and I, uh… I trust you.
But seriously,
wha-- what is wrong with you?
Come. [claps] We have a wedding to plan.
[eerie sting]
[large crowd cheering]
[fanfare playing]
[people clapping]
[enchanting music plays]
[all cheering, exclaiming and applauding]
[enchanting music continues]
[applause fade]
I've never been so happy, my queen.
Nor have I, my-- [gasps] Ah!
-My queen! Someone, do something!
-[all gasping]
[William] "At last the mistress drops,
her heart within her stops."
[dramatic music plays]
-Johannes, what are you doing?!
-[people gasp]
-After him!
-[music intensifies]
[ominous music plays]
[William] "Unless you bite her lip
and three blood drops you sip."
-[dramatic music rises, stops]
-[Hansel] Wait.
[hesitantly] You kissed our mother?
No, I bit your mother.
Different, but not better.
[suspenseful music plays]
-[slams open]
-What?!
[music fades]
What is the…
-[gentle music plays]
-Please, my king.
[gasps] Explain yourself. Now!
I… I cannot.
-You have to tr--
-Enough!
You have done something unforgivable.
I can trust you no further.
Seize him!
You will burn at the stake at dawn.
-[gasps]
-[dramatic music plays]
-[crowd murmuring]
-[woman] This is my first execution.
[crowd gasps]
[woman] Oh, dear.
[murmuring continues]
[ominous music plays]
May I speak?
[William] "But he who thwarts this curse,
his fate shall be much worse."
My king, I did what I did…
[William] "If reasons he make known,
at once he'll turn to stone."
…to save you both from the Queen's curse.
-[dramatic music plays]
-[all gasp]
[both gasp]
[dramatic music rising]
-[stone crackling]
-[crowd gasps]
I remain your faithful--
-Friend!
-[tragic music plays]
[wails] No! [cries]
[sobbing]
-[both sobbing]
-I'm sorry, Johannes! Johannes!
[music fades]
-[gentle music plays]
-Johannes must have overheard us talking.
Well, that doesn't count
as us telling him, does it?
'Cause if it did, we'd have turned into--
[both caw]
Oh crap.
No, no, no, no, no!
My acting career is over!
I don't think you can blame this for that.
Hey, I'm Dotty!
[both scream] A talking raven?
[screams] Talking ravens!
[clears throat] Well, I am William,
and this is…
Jacob.
We used to be humans.
Really?! That's crazy!
I will never forget that fact.
Mind blown, man.
And so to break the Queen's curse,
I was cursed and turned into stone.
There are really a lot
of curses around here.
Now, let's return
to what I still need to show you.
-[cooing]
-[theme song plays]
[Queen] When the darkness opens wide ♪
[Johannes] Hope returned
when you were born.
Swallowing up the sun inside ♪
-Dappled stars, they prick the sky ♪
-And their sorrow faded…
-Blanket on which the moon will lie ♪
-…with a little time…
-Why must daylight always dim? ♪
-…and a lot of love.
[all laughing]
-Creeping dusk so cold and grim ♪
-They… They really loved us.
-'Tis the blackness of the night ♪
-You were their sun,
-and their sky, and their all. [chuckles]
-Teaches us how to see the light ♪
The end.
[song ends]
-That can't be the end! You're here!
-Wha--?!
And you're not a statue!
And that didn't explain
why they chopped our heads off.
And you said the kingdom was in danger.
Huh? Didn't I tell you that part?
-[both] No!
-Oh…
[wheezes]
-Then this next part is the last piece…
-[gentle music plays]
…you need to understand
this whole messy story.
[inhales deeply] And you must,
because your parents need you,
at once.
-[gasps]
-For in your absence,
a darkness has fallen over the kingdom.
Something terrible, something… something…
Ah…
Chocolate cake!
Mmm…
[both gasp]
Jojo, no!
[mournful music plays]
[sniffling]
[Queen] Shadows fall upon the Earth ♪
-[clacking]
-Burying secrets in the dirt ♪
All is blind, then suddenly ♪
Everything shifts
Your eyes, they see ♪
Why do shapes look different now? ♪
Bitter tongues sound sweet somehow ♪
'Tis the blackness of the night ♪
Teaches us how to see the light ♪
[King sobbing]
We must bring faithful Johannes back,
whatever it takes. [sobs]
[song swells, ends]
[mournful music plays]