Alien Nation s01e07 Episode Script
The First Cigar
NARRATOR: That was the scene in California 's Mojave Desert, five years ago.
Our historic first view of the Newcomers' ship.
Theirs was a slave ship, carrying a quarter-million beings bred to adapt and labor in any environment.
But they've washed ashore on Earth with no way to get back to where they came from.
And in the last five years, the Newcomers have become the latest addition to the population of Los Angeles.
MALE VOlCE: Helton-McCleavy Laboratories of Scottsdale, Arizona has been awarded a patent for a genetically engineered microbe to be used in oil spill cleanups.
The microbe, it seems, has a voracious appetite for crude oil.
Despite the two-year ban on Freon use, the ozone layer continues to deteriorate accelerating the present greenhouse effect.
ln the Southland, temperatures have remained in the hundreds all week.
And doctors continue to remind humans to wear sun block and hats when outside during the day.
The DEA Chief, Wallace Aaronberg, announced today that Los Angeles has surpassed Seattle as the jonafryn capital of the United States.
Highly addictive to both Newcomers and humans jonafryn, known on the street as ''jack, '' has been dubbed the crack of the '90s.
The suspect's just entered the building.
We got the front covered.
Roger that.
Okay.
Finally.
So, you don't think that there's any reason for concern? What? About what? That lRS, my tax audit.
l told you, they just pull names out of a computer.
Here's the boogeyman.
Hey, Richie.
lt's good to see you, man.
You're a bro, a real bro.
l'm meticulous about my tax returns.
lf there was some kind of honest mistake that lRS, they would understand, wouldn't they? Yeah, they're very understanding.
Focus, George.
l got one ounce of pure jack.
$300.
Listen, l'm a little short, but you know me.
l'm good for it.
You know l'm good for it.
$180.
Let me have the jack, man.
Don't waste my time.
Wait! Listen, man, listen! Hey! l got it right here.
[Glass breaking.]
Police! Freeze! l said freeze! You bit me, man! You can't do that! lt's okay.
l didn't swallow.
Pull that out of there.
How? l'm cuffed.
Pretend it's an apple.
Where is it? Did you see where l put my W-2? lt must be in with my house payments.
That guy had a little kid in the house and he's selling jack.
He ought to be strung up.
The man can't help himself.
Jack, jonafryn.
You know how addictive it is, Matt.
You've got your tax stuff in my food.
There it is.
What l wouldn't give for a couple of ice cubes.
[Laughing.]
lce cubes.
How are you doing, Matt? Hey, Vahan, meet my new partner, George Francisco.
Yes, how're you doing? We need the check, Vahan.
Check, what are you talking about? Your money is no good here.
Well, at least let me pay for the water.
You insult me.
Don't do that, Matthew.
Nice to meet you.
Vahan's a great guy.
He never lets cops pay.
Are you sure this is right? What? Taking a free meal.
Well, it's not really free, George.
He's kind of paying for a service.
With all these cops around, nobody's gonna stick him up.
Matt, l distinctly recall from the Academy that as police officers, we are public servants and, thus, enjoined from accepting gratuities from private citizens.
George, don't go lnternal Affairs on me.
This is just ham and eggs and frog tartar.
Nevertheless, l think we should pay.
You heard the man.
You're gonna insult him.
l'm sure he'll understand.
You know, George, you can really ruin a meal for a guy.
No, no, l'm telling you, the Bureau of Newcomer Affairs is gonna release this land any day.
And just $100 now will assure you one of the limited half-acre parcels at the government-subsidized price of only $1,000.
[Knocking on door.]
Yeah? Now, if you don't decide to buy we'll give you a full refund.
Or you can sell your option for a least $200.
Can you hold on for a second, please? Thanks.
Margie, l need that building signed off yesterday.
Please, get an inspector down there, now.
Thanks.
Sir, that's $100 profit guaranteed.
You can't lose.
Great.
Terrific.
Your credit card number, please? SAM: And the expiration date.
Terrific.
No, thank you.
l'm the one who called about your ad in the paper.
Buck Francisco.
Right.
Buck, why do you want this job? l need the money.
My mom and dad are kind of tapped and l don't want to ask them for allowance.
l like that.
Oh, jeez.
Excuse me, Buck.
Dave, you still there? Listen, bud, l'll go up $50,000, but not a penny more.
Right.
Bye.
You have any phone sales experience, Buck? No.
That's okay.
What we're offering is so good, it sells itself.
Did you ever meet a Tenctonese who didn't long for home? For their own planet? We're providing the next best thing, Buck.
A place, here on Earth, they can call their own.
Come here.
Look at this.
Our architects have planned the village as an updated replica of a pre-slavery Tenctonese community.
Here's the Selenite temple, the communal food pen, baco courts and also, a modern fifty-bed hospital.
That's great! And what is so satisfying about this, Buck, is we're making people happy.
But we're also earning a good living from it.
Buck, if you're willing to work hard, there's no limit to what you can make.
l'm willing, Mr.
Simian.
Call me Sam.
Welcome aboard, Buck.
GRAZER: l don't like to take credit away from my men they do a tremendous job.
But, the arrest last night really represents the emphasis l've placed on rooting out drug dealers in the Newcomer community.
Captain, please, l don't want to hear your Rotary Club speech.
This year we've had a 50% rise in drug-related crimes.
You wanna take credit for that, too? lt's pretty warm, huh? Those damn Freon restrictions.
You know, we'll probably never have air conditioners again.
Here are the officers.
You wanted to see us, Captain.
Sikes, Francisco, this is Ms.
Betsy Ross.
She's a local businesswoman and president of her community's improvement association.
She wanted to thank you personally for the arrests last night.
We're just doing our job.
Excuse me.
Officer, when we were slaves, we were controlled by Overseers.
To a lot of us, that's what the police are like now.
Ets-lay-eak-spay-English-ay.
English, George.
Ms.
Ross has been kind enough to offer us tips concerning crime in the Newcomer community.
Thank you.
And, please, don't hesitate to call me anytime, day or night.
Do you have a direct line? SUSAN: Here's my husband now.
GEORGE: Sorry l'm late.
GEORGE: lt's difficult to get away from the station during the day.
GEORGE: What have l missed? l see a deduction here of $5,000, claiming your automobile as a business expense.
l had a question about that.
So we called the lRS.
We spoke to a man named Fogul.
Walter Fogul.
As a police officer, aren't you assigned a car from the motor pool? When l am on duty.
However, when l am not on duty, l am still expected to intervene as a police officer whenever the need arises.
Mr.
Fogul said it was a legitimate deduction.
Are you paid when you're off duty? No.
Then you can't be said to be working.
l'm disallowing this deduction.
Look, Mr.
Fogul works here.
He said it was okay.
ln order to claim erroneous advice from an lRS employee you need photocopies of letters requesting the advice, and the advice itself.
But we spoke on the phone.
Then you don't have the necessary documentation.
There are a lot of irregularities here.
ln addition to back taxes, l'm going to have to assess some penalties.
lt's about time.
Help me book this evidence.
Matt l think you would be very proud of me.
You often say l let people crawl all over me.
Walk.
Walk all over you.
But today l put my foot down.
That lRS wanted to assess me $2,400 in penalties.
That lRS wanted to assess me $2,400 in penalties.
You put your foot down at the lRS? You have such a great country.
You're free to stand up to your government and just say no.
What did you do? l told them l wouldn't pay.
What a feeling it is for a former slave to look authority in the eye and say l know my rights.
Call them up.
Tell them you're sorry.
Tell them you'll pay.
What? Don't mess with these people.
Call them up.
l'm ashamed of you.
Haven't you read your Constitution? Your Bill of Rights? -You don't understand how -l will not cave in to this tyranny.
-they will make your life miserable.
-No taxation without representation.
l love that.
Get the phone.
Det.
Francisco.
What? What are they attaching it to? What does that mean? Can they do that? Goodbye.
What? That was General Accounting.
That lRS is attaching my paycheck.
l can't have it.
Call them up.
Grovel.
George? $2,400.
That's enough.
No taxation without representation.
All it is, is money.
lt's $2,400, which we don't have.
l went to First Tokyo for a loan.
Turned me down flat.
l have $140 in my piggy bank.
Oh, no, sweetheart.
No, we're not gonna take your money.
Do you see what they are driving us to? Those bloodsuckers.
How much of this did you drink? A quart.
Plus a pint of the half-and-half.
l don't know.
God.
We've done everything that we were supposed to do.
We have played by the rules their rules, and look.
$2,400.
[Doorbell ringing.]
lt's probably that lRS.
They've come to take our furniture away.
They have come to take our first-born.
They can't take Buck! Don't listen to your father.
He's babbling.
Francisco residence? They are taking Buck.
-No they're not! Yes.
-Yes, can you sign this, please? Yeah.
Here you can put that there.
-Mom, it's a darak.
-lt looks like a Sony to me.
A darak is a pure expression of thanks in our culture.
That's what this means.
That's nice.
[Speaking Tenctonese.]
-Who's it from? -A woman l met today.
Betsy Ross.
Why would she send you a darak? Matt and l arrested a drug dealer in her neighborhood yesterday.
Until now, she felt the police never cared.
That's a thoughtful gift, honey.
Can l have it in my room? Can l? You can share it with Buck, but you're gonna have to ask your father.
lt's his darak.
George? l don't know if we should accept this.
George, it's a darak.
lt's a pure expression of thanks.
You can't judge it with the standards of this culture.
lt's a tradition in our culture.
Whenever you wish to thank someone in a special way you give them what we call a darak.
We call it ''payola.
'' Payola? Money in exchange for favors.
You're quite wrong about Ross, Matt.
She hasn't asked for anything.
Yet.
-l take it she didn't send you a TV? -l don't want a TV.
l don't like TV.
l read, George.
l expand my mind.
l'm up to ''H'' in the Encyclopaedia Britannica.
That's very funny.
You are so two-faced, man.
You get all over my case about accepting a free meal but you got no problem at all with your complementary television.
The first is a form of bribery -the latter is a darak.
-A crock is what it is.
Vahan, the check! Matt, come on.
You know your money is no good here.
Give me the check, damn it! l'm gonna pay this, and l don't want any argument.
No, New Tencton Village will be exclusively a Newcomer community.
ln the village school, which will be fully accredited all classes, kindergarten through 12, will be taught in English and Tenctonese.
That way, our children receive a cultural identity they lose in human schools.
l'd also like to point out that New Tencton is located 1,500 miles inland.
Now, that's 1,500 miles from the nearest body of salt water.
And freshwater fish are abundant in this area as well as many small mammals and rodents.
Yes, it's a culinary paradise for us Tenctonese where the smell of cooked food will never foul the air.
Really? Well, that's great! He's gonna buy! Can l have your credit card number? Expiration date.
No, thank you.
Yes! Yes, Buck! Way to go! Come payday, you get 20% of that $100.
And Buck, there is no reason why you can't make five, six sales an hour.
Do a little arithmetic.
You're gonna make a lot of money here, Buck.
You know, Matt.
lf l touched a nerve back there, l want to apologize.
We come from different cultures and sometimes the nuances are difficult for me.
Matt, can l borrow $2,000? [Matt laughs sarcastically.]
Just like that? ''Matt, can l borrow $2,000?'' You're right about those nuances.
lt's just that l have nowhere else to turn.
lt takes a month to get a loan from the credit union, and that lRS charges me interest every day.
l have been to three banks so far and no luck.
And now they are going to lean on my car.
l'm broke.
Sell that doo-dak.
GRAZER: Hey, Francisco.
l took a message for you.
lt's on your desk.
l can't sell the TV.
We're not allowed to sell daraks.
lt's a cultural taboo.
lf you had some culture, you would understand.
Betsy Ross.
Slim.
She is not slim.
Duh, George.
You know, Matt in our culture, an ample woman is considered very attractive.
lt shows that she can afford to eat well, that she's successful.
l wish Susan would put on a few pounds.
Yes, Betsy Ross, please.
This is Det.
Francisco.
Yes, thank you.
But it wasn't necessary.
A darak is never necessary.
Otherwise it wouldn't be a darak.
Look, l have some information that might be useful.
Could you meet me at the Palach Club this evening? Yes, l think so.
l'd have to check with my partner.
Your partner? He's human.
Sometimes.
Wait.
Wait.
l came prepared.
Voice-activated translator.
Here, just speak right in here.
Eat salt, father hummer.
Hey, it works! We're police.
Ms.
Ross sent for us.
We're police.
[Tenctonese translation.]
lf you could just direct us to Ms.
Ross.
Thanks so much.
[Tenctonese translation.]
How you doing? Hi.
Unruly crowd.
-What's the game? -Palach.
l wish you would put this thing away.
Looks like professional wrestling with sticks.
Palach is a legitimate sport.
lt's not a cheap bag of tricks.
Excuse me.
l didn't catch that.
l will explain.
We're not getting anywhere here.
Onboard you will find a shipment of jonafryn intended for sale in our community.
MATT: How much? ROSS: Two tons.
GEORGE: Gentlemen you're under arrest.
Freeze it up! Ask Ross if she's got any more tips like this.
Look at this.
There's millions.
There's millions.
l need $2,000 and those bastards have millions! Go ahead, George.
Slip $2,000 in your pocket.
They'll never miss it.
Sometimes, it's difficult to know when you're joking.
Who's joking? CATHY: Hi, Matt, is this a bad time? No, l'm just going to work.
What can l do for you? Do you have a tool? l've got a leak.
l've got a leak under my sink.
l need -one of these.
-Oh, a wrench! Sure.
-A wrench.
-l'll take a look at it.
You want something to drink? Anything.
As long as it's got ice cubes.
l'm sorry, l've got a Freon-free refrigerator on order.
The best l can do is room-temperature tea.
Well, l'm okay.
Careful, that's a left-hand thread.
Look, l've done this 100 times.
These pipes are old, and if they're corroded-- Look l know what l'm doing.
Maybe you should check the yellow pages for a plumber.
GEORGE: You were right.
Two tons of jonafryn.
How did you know? A kid from the streets.
l can't give you his name.
No, the rat tails are on special.
20% off.
You seem to have a very successful business.
Well, l've stayed in the neighborhood.
People appreciate that.
No, no.
The fish eyes go in the deli section.
l also understand that you own a car wash a rodent stand, and a video rental.
Well, one thing leads to another.
And l've been very lucky.
What is it, Detective? Ask me anything.
lf l can do it, l will.
l assume that you acquired these businesses with the help of a bank? They love me.
First Tokyo, Mizuhara.
Ms.
Ross, l wouldn't ask you this, but l have nowhere else to turn.
Could you perhaps consider cosigning a small loan with me? You see, l owe that lRS.
How much? $2,400.
l'll write you a check.
No, no.
What l want is a loan.
Okay, we'll call it a loan.
No, l'm sorry.
l don't think so.
Look, we'll make it what do they say? Kosher! We'll draw up an agreement.
Why go through all the inconvenience of a bank? l don't know.
What's the matter? My money not good enough? BUCK: We feel confident that we've realized our goal to find the one spot on Earth that most resembles-- Do you have to do that in here? We're trying to watch TV.
l have to pitch this for the Daughters of Selene next week.
You have a mirror.
l don't.
Besides, l'm letting you have the darak this week.
We feel confident that we've realized our goal to find the one spot on this planet that most resembles our home planet of Tencton.
Do you know l've sold twelve this week? l wanna hear some more.
One sees the beautiful blues in the many fresh-water lakes and streams that surround the new Tencton village.
And the night sky glows with the light of a million stars.
ls there really a place like that? You should have seen the pictures.
Unbelievable! And just $100 down guarantees you a half acre at the government-subsidized price of only $1,000.
Should you decide not to buy, you can sell your option for a minimum of $200.
That's double your money! -Wow, what a deal.
You can't lose.
-That's right.
l've got $100.
What? l wanna do it.
Come on, Emily.
Where are you gonna get the other $900? l don't need it.
l'll just sell the option and double my money.
Emily, you're just a kid here.
Well, so what? l've got the money! Why should you be the only one to get rich? Emily? Come on.
lt's a sure thing.
You said so yourself.
Come on, Buck.
Let me in on this.
Okay.
Once you bend a paperclip like that, it's quite useless.
Cut your coupons, George.
On the ship, we learned never to waste.
l hate waste.
You know what l hate? l hate these know-it-all muffin-heads who come from outer space and try and tell me how to fix a pipe! -Sikes.
Francisco.
ln here.
-What? You'll have to pull yourself away from the food section, George.
These coupons offer substantial savings.
l found this one $1 .
50 off pig spleen.
Why worry about money, George? Betsy Ross just laid $2,000 on you.
A: l owe that money to that lRS and, B: it's a loan.
A loan, right.
What's the interest? Five percent.
Prime's 18.
That's not a loan, Mr.
Clean, it's a favor.
When somebody does you a favor, you owe them.
Hi, Bryon.
We've gotten more complaints from Slagtown.
lt seems, despite our recent efforts, there's been an increase in drug activity.
Some residents are claiming they've got dealers, Newcomers now who are selling jack on their doorsteps.
They're afraid to leave their homes.
What the hell's going on down there? MATT: Look at this.
MATT: Betsy Ross Dry Cleaners, Betsy Ross Fashions.
Betsy Ross Video, Betsy Ross Hardware.
Your girlfriend seems to own this town.
She provides services the community needs.
l hope, for your sake, she's legit.
Of course she's legit.
You just resent the fact that one of us could be so successful.
You just resent the fact that one of us could be so successful.
Matt.
[Speaking Tenctonese.]
Where did you get this jonafryn? This a bust? l want a lawyer.
We cut off your source.
Who's supplying you? George, what's that guy doing over there? What guy? Now, what was that name again? -Cliff! His name's Cliff.
-And where is this Cliff? MATT: Cliff's a spiffy dresser, just like you, George.
Cliff's going to see your girlfriend.
Probably just picking up some dinner.
MATT: Oh, man.
GEORGE: This doesn't prove anything.
Come on, George, don't you get it? Ross has us clean up her competition then she moves in and takes over the market.
l can't believe that.
The darak.
The loan.
She wanted you in her pocket, man.
MATT: A Japanese restaurant.
MATT: lt figures.
You guys invented sushi.
MATT: Let's give her a minute before we go in.
To use a darak like that.
lt's such a betrayal.
Wait a minute.
lsn't that-- Alec Knightsbridge.
Supplies jonafryn to grammar-school children in South Central Los Angeles.
And him? l don't know.
What's the license? 1PCE499.
Lee Thor.
Drug arrest, 1991 pimping and pandering, 1993.
Assault, 1993.
Suspected of running a prostitution ring.
Well, that's the UN of local crime.
Let's join the party.
Hi.
City inspectors.
We need to confirm that your air conditioning isn't operative.
Gentlemen, we're all here.
Welcome.
To Ms.
Ross and her associate, a very special welcome.
Although we represent different organizations we have common interests and in important issues, we decide collectively.
We've asked you here today to discuss your recent interference in our affairs.
YAMATO: Conspiring with the police has cost some of us a great deal of money.
YAMATO: There are those at this table who've advocated having you killed.
YAMATO: However, wars are bad for business.
There's public outcry.
The police are forced to crack down.
Therefore, we've decided to give you all the jonafryn traffic within half-a-mile radius of your store.
You retain 15% of the profits.
We get the remaining 85% .
ln light of everything this offer is very generous.
Sorry, boys the territory's too small and the split stinks.
You're turning us down? A Slag? Let me explain something.
l am not your garden-variety Slag.
Onboard the ship, we were known as the Kleezantsun.
What you would call Overseers.
We bought and sold what you call Slags.
YAMATO: That's history, Ms.
Ross.
Mr.
Yamato, history repeats itself.
We've given you our bottom line.
Now what do you say? l'll have to talk with my people.
Excuse me.
GEORGE: She came with a purse! CROOK 1 : Gentlemen, l think we know what we have to do.
CROOK 2: Let's put a contract on her.
[Remote beeping.]
l called in the warrant on Ross.
Do you feel up to making the bust? Wild whores couldn't drag me away.
Horses.
Wild horses.
She almost had me, Matt.
How could l have been so stupid? Look, it could happen to anybody.
Matt you don't understand.
She is an Overseer.
lt's something l don't like to think about, but we got off that ship all right.
That means they did, too.
There were 250,000 of us.
But how many Overseers were there? [Siren wailing.]
Sikes! Francisco! You're too late, Burns, they already bagged the bodies.
-l came to see how you guys are.
-How did you know we were here? lt's on the radio already: ''Two cops pulled from the rubble! '' -Hey, guys, don't smile.
-No, thanks.
Come on! This is a big story.
All those mob guys -gangland conspiracy, right? -Hey, go take some pictures! Matt.
We're already on the radio, the news.
Ross probably knew we were inside.
l'm with you, George.
Let's go.
Hey, guys! Come on! Give me something! Anything! Sure, here.
This is 1-William-1-52 we're at Ross' place of business.
The suspect is not at the premises.
FEMALE VOlCE: Roger, 1-William-1-52.
Negative at her residence also.
Ross hasn't been seen all day.
She split, George.
We lost her.
BUCK: Emily's $100.
-This is adorable.
How old is she? -Ten.
Ten! What a smart kid.
She knows a good thing when she sees it.
Tell you what.
l'm gonna give her the choicest lot in the village.
-Thanks, Sam.
-You bet.
Why don't you bring Emily by the office tomorrow? -l'd like to meet this little mogul.
-Sure.
Something else l want to discuss with you.
l guess l'm like your little sister, l know a good thing when l see it.
You have got a real gift, Buck.
l'm expanding, l'm bringing new people in, and l'd like you to manage the office.
-Me? Office manager? -You bet.
Can you handle it? -Well, yeah, sure! -Great! l gotta go sign some contracts, but you bring Emily by the office tomorrow, okay? l'll see you then.
Nice jacket! Hey, you guys.
My two favorite detectives.
The Hardy Boys.
l feel sorry for you guys.
So l'm gonna throw you a bone.
Betsy Ross just called.
She knows we've got a warrant.
She wants to make a deal.
MATT: l've got a deal.
GRAZER: Right, Sikes.
That's why you're still Detective One.
-You told her we'd deal? -Damn right l did.
No prosecution.
She's a murderer, a drug dealer, the worst kind of low-life scum and you let her yank your chain? We gotta bring her down! Get off the soapbox.
That Slag, pardon the expression, has enough information for us to nail half a dozen very big dealers.
You mean the guys she didn't blow away already? l'm not gonna argue with you because you have a simplistic, juvenile, moral code.
These busts will be good for you, for me, for the Department and we're not gonna get them without cutting that deal.
Now Ross will meet with you.
See how she wants to set it up.
That's all, gentleman.
This place must have ate it in the big one back in '92.
-You want some backup? -No.
l'm supposed to go alone.
Matt l want you to know that l agreed with what you told Grazer.
You're pig-headed but you have integrity.
Thanks.
[Floorboard creaking.]
[Floorboard creaking.]
[Floorboard creaking.]
Hello, George.
Glad to see you weren't badly hurt.
Yes.
You have an investment in me, don't you? Here's the deal: no arrest, no indictment against me on any count.
l also want the cops off my back.
No harassment, no surveillance for two years.
ln exchange, l will give information to secure indictments against three major drug dealers now, plus another, every six months for the two years.
-You'll be a hero! -And you'll own the streets.
Yeah! That's the system.
You better learn it.
Compromise makes this world go round.
Five years ago, l'd have killed you as soon as look at you.
Now we're in business.
Continue to play your cards right, you can make some decent money, too.
See you, George.
-l'm placing you under arrest.
-You're exceeding your authority, George.
Grazer sent you to hear my terms.
The Overseers will not succeed, and you will not buy me.
You will make your deal from a jail cell just like the rest of the scum.
You stupid Slag! Bust me and there is no deal! You talk tough for a man in a cage.
l'll call your bluff.
Halt! George! lt's Cliff! -What're you doing here? -l had a feeling you'd ax that deal.
You're pig-headed but you got integrity.
[Gunshots firing.]
l'll draw him out.
Let's nail her ass.
[Speaking Tenctonese.]
-What the hell are you doing? -l am booking the suspect.
You get me out of here.
-This was your idea hotshot, wasn't it? -lt was my decision.
She's going to jail.
Any deal will be made on the DA's terms and not hers-- lf l'm not out of here in 30 seconds, there won't be a deal.
Do you realize the collars you won't make if this falls through? Do you realize what we pay for these collars? The lives you will ruin? The Newcomer children she will hook on jack? This is insubordination.
l gave you specific instructions.
-Don't book this woman! -Book her.
Don't you countermand my orders, Sergeant.
-Captain.
-What? Look who's here.
The reporter from hell.
Do you think Burns would be interested in a story about a certain police official Do you think Burns would be interested in a story about a certain police official who's willing to free homicidal drug dealers just for a few showy arrests? You wouldn't dare.
Book this woman.
BUCK: You know, l'm gonna buy a Porsche.
BUCK: You know, l'm gonna buy a Porsche.
BUCK: You think we should get Mom and Dad to invest? Good luck.
Dad told me the lRS has taken their last penny.
Well, maybe we'll get rich enough to buy the lRS.
ls it for sale? One thing Sam's taught me: everything's for sale.
l think you're gonna like this guy, Em.
-Where's Sam? -Who? Sam.
Simian Enterprises.
-Beats me.
-Wait a second, there were there were desks, phones, there was a whole office here! Well, maybe you have the wrong address.
Sam wouldn't just leave.
You told me you were gonna be the office manager.
Manager.
Right, right.
How could l be so stupid! And he he didn't even pay me! What about my $100? You lost it? You lost it! l believed you, l trusted you.
Do you know how long it took me to earn that money? How could you do this to me? BUCK: Emily! Em ! Em.
l'm sorry.
l'll pay you back.
[Speaking Tenctonese.]
No.
Come on, Em, what else can l do? What l mean is that l don't want you to pay me back.
-You don't? -No.
lt was my idea.
-No, but it's my responsibility.
-No, it's my responsibility.
l wanted you to do it.
l wanted to get rich, quick.
lt's okay, Buck, really.
But the TV stays in my room.
We got a letter from that lRS.
George, l know you had to tear up that check from Ross but is it necessary to give away the television? lt's the principle.
Besides we're giving it to charity.
lt's a deduction.
EMlLY: Where's the TV? Did he take the TV? -This is wonderful.
-What? lt seems they made a mistake, and we only owe $400.
-Dad you can't do this, it's a darak.
-Just a minute, sweetie.
Oh, no.
ln light of the aforementioned irregularities, we wish to audit your returns for the previous three years.
And how am l supposed to watch Love Connection? We have another TV.
Not in my room we don't.
You are so mean! Did you hear that? -Oh, hi.
-Hi, l was just coming over -l'm sorry.
-to apologize.
-l'm sorry l laughed.
-No.
l acted like a jerk.
Oh, this is for you.
-Oh, this is for you.
-Thanks.
-Thank you.
-Thanks.
Look, l.
l left something on the stove.
Right.
Our historic first view of the Newcomers' ship.
Theirs was a slave ship, carrying a quarter-million beings bred to adapt and labor in any environment.
But they've washed ashore on Earth with no way to get back to where they came from.
And in the last five years, the Newcomers have become the latest addition to the population of Los Angeles.
MALE VOlCE: Helton-McCleavy Laboratories of Scottsdale, Arizona has been awarded a patent for a genetically engineered microbe to be used in oil spill cleanups.
The microbe, it seems, has a voracious appetite for crude oil.
Despite the two-year ban on Freon use, the ozone layer continues to deteriorate accelerating the present greenhouse effect.
ln the Southland, temperatures have remained in the hundreds all week.
And doctors continue to remind humans to wear sun block and hats when outside during the day.
The DEA Chief, Wallace Aaronberg, announced today that Los Angeles has surpassed Seattle as the jonafryn capital of the United States.
Highly addictive to both Newcomers and humans jonafryn, known on the street as ''jack, '' has been dubbed the crack of the '90s.
The suspect's just entered the building.
We got the front covered.
Roger that.
Okay.
Finally.
So, you don't think that there's any reason for concern? What? About what? That lRS, my tax audit.
l told you, they just pull names out of a computer.
Here's the boogeyman.
Hey, Richie.
lt's good to see you, man.
You're a bro, a real bro.
l'm meticulous about my tax returns.
lf there was some kind of honest mistake that lRS, they would understand, wouldn't they? Yeah, they're very understanding.
Focus, George.
l got one ounce of pure jack.
$300.
Listen, l'm a little short, but you know me.
l'm good for it.
You know l'm good for it.
$180.
Let me have the jack, man.
Don't waste my time.
Wait! Listen, man, listen! Hey! l got it right here.
[Glass breaking.]
Police! Freeze! l said freeze! You bit me, man! You can't do that! lt's okay.
l didn't swallow.
Pull that out of there.
How? l'm cuffed.
Pretend it's an apple.
Where is it? Did you see where l put my W-2? lt must be in with my house payments.
That guy had a little kid in the house and he's selling jack.
He ought to be strung up.
The man can't help himself.
Jack, jonafryn.
You know how addictive it is, Matt.
You've got your tax stuff in my food.
There it is.
What l wouldn't give for a couple of ice cubes.
[Laughing.]
lce cubes.
How are you doing, Matt? Hey, Vahan, meet my new partner, George Francisco.
Yes, how're you doing? We need the check, Vahan.
Check, what are you talking about? Your money is no good here.
Well, at least let me pay for the water.
You insult me.
Don't do that, Matthew.
Nice to meet you.
Vahan's a great guy.
He never lets cops pay.
Are you sure this is right? What? Taking a free meal.
Well, it's not really free, George.
He's kind of paying for a service.
With all these cops around, nobody's gonna stick him up.
Matt, l distinctly recall from the Academy that as police officers, we are public servants and, thus, enjoined from accepting gratuities from private citizens.
George, don't go lnternal Affairs on me.
This is just ham and eggs and frog tartar.
Nevertheless, l think we should pay.
You heard the man.
You're gonna insult him.
l'm sure he'll understand.
You know, George, you can really ruin a meal for a guy.
No, no, l'm telling you, the Bureau of Newcomer Affairs is gonna release this land any day.
And just $100 now will assure you one of the limited half-acre parcels at the government-subsidized price of only $1,000.
[Knocking on door.]
Yeah? Now, if you don't decide to buy we'll give you a full refund.
Or you can sell your option for a least $200.
Can you hold on for a second, please? Thanks.
Margie, l need that building signed off yesterday.
Please, get an inspector down there, now.
Thanks.
Sir, that's $100 profit guaranteed.
You can't lose.
Great.
Terrific.
Your credit card number, please? SAM: And the expiration date.
Terrific.
No, thank you.
l'm the one who called about your ad in the paper.
Buck Francisco.
Right.
Buck, why do you want this job? l need the money.
My mom and dad are kind of tapped and l don't want to ask them for allowance.
l like that.
Oh, jeez.
Excuse me, Buck.
Dave, you still there? Listen, bud, l'll go up $50,000, but not a penny more.
Right.
Bye.
You have any phone sales experience, Buck? No.
That's okay.
What we're offering is so good, it sells itself.
Did you ever meet a Tenctonese who didn't long for home? For their own planet? We're providing the next best thing, Buck.
A place, here on Earth, they can call their own.
Come here.
Look at this.
Our architects have planned the village as an updated replica of a pre-slavery Tenctonese community.
Here's the Selenite temple, the communal food pen, baco courts and also, a modern fifty-bed hospital.
That's great! And what is so satisfying about this, Buck, is we're making people happy.
But we're also earning a good living from it.
Buck, if you're willing to work hard, there's no limit to what you can make.
l'm willing, Mr.
Simian.
Call me Sam.
Welcome aboard, Buck.
GRAZER: l don't like to take credit away from my men they do a tremendous job.
But, the arrest last night really represents the emphasis l've placed on rooting out drug dealers in the Newcomer community.
Captain, please, l don't want to hear your Rotary Club speech.
This year we've had a 50% rise in drug-related crimes.
You wanna take credit for that, too? lt's pretty warm, huh? Those damn Freon restrictions.
You know, we'll probably never have air conditioners again.
Here are the officers.
You wanted to see us, Captain.
Sikes, Francisco, this is Ms.
Betsy Ross.
She's a local businesswoman and president of her community's improvement association.
She wanted to thank you personally for the arrests last night.
We're just doing our job.
Excuse me.
Officer, when we were slaves, we were controlled by Overseers.
To a lot of us, that's what the police are like now.
Ets-lay-eak-spay-English-ay.
English, George.
Ms.
Ross has been kind enough to offer us tips concerning crime in the Newcomer community.
Thank you.
And, please, don't hesitate to call me anytime, day or night.
Do you have a direct line? SUSAN: Here's my husband now.
GEORGE: Sorry l'm late.
GEORGE: lt's difficult to get away from the station during the day.
GEORGE: What have l missed? l see a deduction here of $5,000, claiming your automobile as a business expense.
l had a question about that.
So we called the lRS.
We spoke to a man named Fogul.
Walter Fogul.
As a police officer, aren't you assigned a car from the motor pool? When l am on duty.
However, when l am not on duty, l am still expected to intervene as a police officer whenever the need arises.
Mr.
Fogul said it was a legitimate deduction.
Are you paid when you're off duty? No.
Then you can't be said to be working.
l'm disallowing this deduction.
Look, Mr.
Fogul works here.
He said it was okay.
ln order to claim erroneous advice from an lRS employee you need photocopies of letters requesting the advice, and the advice itself.
But we spoke on the phone.
Then you don't have the necessary documentation.
There are a lot of irregularities here.
ln addition to back taxes, l'm going to have to assess some penalties.
lt's about time.
Help me book this evidence.
Matt l think you would be very proud of me.
You often say l let people crawl all over me.
Walk.
Walk all over you.
But today l put my foot down.
That lRS wanted to assess me $2,400 in penalties.
That lRS wanted to assess me $2,400 in penalties.
You put your foot down at the lRS? You have such a great country.
You're free to stand up to your government and just say no.
What did you do? l told them l wouldn't pay.
What a feeling it is for a former slave to look authority in the eye and say l know my rights.
Call them up.
Tell them you're sorry.
Tell them you'll pay.
What? Don't mess with these people.
Call them up.
l'm ashamed of you.
Haven't you read your Constitution? Your Bill of Rights? -You don't understand how -l will not cave in to this tyranny.
-they will make your life miserable.
-No taxation without representation.
l love that.
Get the phone.
Det.
Francisco.
What? What are they attaching it to? What does that mean? Can they do that? Goodbye.
What? That was General Accounting.
That lRS is attaching my paycheck.
l can't have it.
Call them up.
Grovel.
George? $2,400.
That's enough.
No taxation without representation.
All it is, is money.
lt's $2,400, which we don't have.
l went to First Tokyo for a loan.
Turned me down flat.
l have $140 in my piggy bank.
Oh, no, sweetheart.
No, we're not gonna take your money.
Do you see what they are driving us to? Those bloodsuckers.
How much of this did you drink? A quart.
Plus a pint of the half-and-half.
l don't know.
God.
We've done everything that we were supposed to do.
We have played by the rules their rules, and look.
$2,400.
[Doorbell ringing.]
lt's probably that lRS.
They've come to take our furniture away.
They have come to take our first-born.
They can't take Buck! Don't listen to your father.
He's babbling.
Francisco residence? They are taking Buck.
-No they're not! Yes.
-Yes, can you sign this, please? Yeah.
Here you can put that there.
-Mom, it's a darak.
-lt looks like a Sony to me.
A darak is a pure expression of thanks in our culture.
That's what this means.
That's nice.
[Speaking Tenctonese.]
-Who's it from? -A woman l met today.
Betsy Ross.
Why would she send you a darak? Matt and l arrested a drug dealer in her neighborhood yesterday.
Until now, she felt the police never cared.
That's a thoughtful gift, honey.
Can l have it in my room? Can l? You can share it with Buck, but you're gonna have to ask your father.
lt's his darak.
George? l don't know if we should accept this.
George, it's a darak.
lt's a pure expression of thanks.
You can't judge it with the standards of this culture.
lt's a tradition in our culture.
Whenever you wish to thank someone in a special way you give them what we call a darak.
We call it ''payola.
'' Payola? Money in exchange for favors.
You're quite wrong about Ross, Matt.
She hasn't asked for anything.
Yet.
-l take it she didn't send you a TV? -l don't want a TV.
l don't like TV.
l read, George.
l expand my mind.
l'm up to ''H'' in the Encyclopaedia Britannica.
That's very funny.
You are so two-faced, man.
You get all over my case about accepting a free meal but you got no problem at all with your complementary television.
The first is a form of bribery -the latter is a darak.
-A crock is what it is.
Vahan, the check! Matt, come on.
You know your money is no good here.
Give me the check, damn it! l'm gonna pay this, and l don't want any argument.
No, New Tencton Village will be exclusively a Newcomer community.
ln the village school, which will be fully accredited all classes, kindergarten through 12, will be taught in English and Tenctonese.
That way, our children receive a cultural identity they lose in human schools.
l'd also like to point out that New Tencton is located 1,500 miles inland.
Now, that's 1,500 miles from the nearest body of salt water.
And freshwater fish are abundant in this area as well as many small mammals and rodents.
Yes, it's a culinary paradise for us Tenctonese where the smell of cooked food will never foul the air.
Really? Well, that's great! He's gonna buy! Can l have your credit card number? Expiration date.
No, thank you.
Yes! Yes, Buck! Way to go! Come payday, you get 20% of that $100.
And Buck, there is no reason why you can't make five, six sales an hour.
Do a little arithmetic.
You're gonna make a lot of money here, Buck.
You know, Matt.
lf l touched a nerve back there, l want to apologize.
We come from different cultures and sometimes the nuances are difficult for me.
Matt, can l borrow $2,000? [Matt laughs sarcastically.]
Just like that? ''Matt, can l borrow $2,000?'' You're right about those nuances.
lt's just that l have nowhere else to turn.
lt takes a month to get a loan from the credit union, and that lRS charges me interest every day.
l have been to three banks so far and no luck.
And now they are going to lean on my car.
l'm broke.
Sell that doo-dak.
GRAZER: Hey, Francisco.
l took a message for you.
lt's on your desk.
l can't sell the TV.
We're not allowed to sell daraks.
lt's a cultural taboo.
lf you had some culture, you would understand.
Betsy Ross.
Slim.
She is not slim.
Duh, George.
You know, Matt in our culture, an ample woman is considered very attractive.
lt shows that she can afford to eat well, that she's successful.
l wish Susan would put on a few pounds.
Yes, Betsy Ross, please.
This is Det.
Francisco.
Yes, thank you.
But it wasn't necessary.
A darak is never necessary.
Otherwise it wouldn't be a darak.
Look, l have some information that might be useful.
Could you meet me at the Palach Club this evening? Yes, l think so.
l'd have to check with my partner.
Your partner? He's human.
Sometimes.
Wait.
Wait.
l came prepared.
Voice-activated translator.
Here, just speak right in here.
Eat salt, father hummer.
Hey, it works! We're police.
Ms.
Ross sent for us.
We're police.
[Tenctonese translation.]
lf you could just direct us to Ms.
Ross.
Thanks so much.
[Tenctonese translation.]
How you doing? Hi.
Unruly crowd.
-What's the game? -Palach.
l wish you would put this thing away.
Looks like professional wrestling with sticks.
Palach is a legitimate sport.
lt's not a cheap bag of tricks.
Excuse me.
l didn't catch that.
l will explain.
We're not getting anywhere here.
Onboard you will find a shipment of jonafryn intended for sale in our community.
MATT: How much? ROSS: Two tons.
GEORGE: Gentlemen you're under arrest.
Freeze it up! Ask Ross if she's got any more tips like this.
Look at this.
There's millions.
There's millions.
l need $2,000 and those bastards have millions! Go ahead, George.
Slip $2,000 in your pocket.
They'll never miss it.
Sometimes, it's difficult to know when you're joking.
Who's joking? CATHY: Hi, Matt, is this a bad time? No, l'm just going to work.
What can l do for you? Do you have a tool? l've got a leak.
l've got a leak under my sink.
l need -one of these.
-Oh, a wrench! Sure.
-A wrench.
-l'll take a look at it.
You want something to drink? Anything.
As long as it's got ice cubes.
l'm sorry, l've got a Freon-free refrigerator on order.
The best l can do is room-temperature tea.
Well, l'm okay.
Careful, that's a left-hand thread.
Look, l've done this 100 times.
These pipes are old, and if they're corroded-- Look l know what l'm doing.
Maybe you should check the yellow pages for a plumber.
GEORGE: You were right.
Two tons of jonafryn.
How did you know? A kid from the streets.
l can't give you his name.
No, the rat tails are on special.
20% off.
You seem to have a very successful business.
Well, l've stayed in the neighborhood.
People appreciate that.
No, no.
The fish eyes go in the deli section.
l also understand that you own a car wash a rodent stand, and a video rental.
Well, one thing leads to another.
And l've been very lucky.
What is it, Detective? Ask me anything.
lf l can do it, l will.
l assume that you acquired these businesses with the help of a bank? They love me.
First Tokyo, Mizuhara.
Ms.
Ross, l wouldn't ask you this, but l have nowhere else to turn.
Could you perhaps consider cosigning a small loan with me? You see, l owe that lRS.
How much? $2,400.
l'll write you a check.
No, no.
What l want is a loan.
Okay, we'll call it a loan.
No, l'm sorry.
l don't think so.
Look, we'll make it what do they say? Kosher! We'll draw up an agreement.
Why go through all the inconvenience of a bank? l don't know.
What's the matter? My money not good enough? BUCK: We feel confident that we've realized our goal to find the one spot on Earth that most resembles-- Do you have to do that in here? We're trying to watch TV.
l have to pitch this for the Daughters of Selene next week.
You have a mirror.
l don't.
Besides, l'm letting you have the darak this week.
We feel confident that we've realized our goal to find the one spot on this planet that most resembles our home planet of Tencton.
Do you know l've sold twelve this week? l wanna hear some more.
One sees the beautiful blues in the many fresh-water lakes and streams that surround the new Tencton village.
And the night sky glows with the light of a million stars.
ls there really a place like that? You should have seen the pictures.
Unbelievable! And just $100 down guarantees you a half acre at the government-subsidized price of only $1,000.
Should you decide not to buy, you can sell your option for a minimum of $200.
That's double your money! -Wow, what a deal.
You can't lose.
-That's right.
l've got $100.
What? l wanna do it.
Come on, Emily.
Where are you gonna get the other $900? l don't need it.
l'll just sell the option and double my money.
Emily, you're just a kid here.
Well, so what? l've got the money! Why should you be the only one to get rich? Emily? Come on.
lt's a sure thing.
You said so yourself.
Come on, Buck.
Let me in on this.
Okay.
Once you bend a paperclip like that, it's quite useless.
Cut your coupons, George.
On the ship, we learned never to waste.
l hate waste.
You know what l hate? l hate these know-it-all muffin-heads who come from outer space and try and tell me how to fix a pipe! -Sikes.
Francisco.
ln here.
-What? You'll have to pull yourself away from the food section, George.
These coupons offer substantial savings.
l found this one $1 .
50 off pig spleen.
Why worry about money, George? Betsy Ross just laid $2,000 on you.
A: l owe that money to that lRS and, B: it's a loan.
A loan, right.
What's the interest? Five percent.
Prime's 18.
That's not a loan, Mr.
Clean, it's a favor.
When somebody does you a favor, you owe them.
Hi, Bryon.
We've gotten more complaints from Slagtown.
lt seems, despite our recent efforts, there's been an increase in drug activity.
Some residents are claiming they've got dealers, Newcomers now who are selling jack on their doorsteps.
They're afraid to leave their homes.
What the hell's going on down there? MATT: Look at this.
MATT: Betsy Ross Dry Cleaners, Betsy Ross Fashions.
Betsy Ross Video, Betsy Ross Hardware.
Your girlfriend seems to own this town.
She provides services the community needs.
l hope, for your sake, she's legit.
Of course she's legit.
You just resent the fact that one of us could be so successful.
You just resent the fact that one of us could be so successful.
Matt.
[Speaking Tenctonese.]
Where did you get this jonafryn? This a bust? l want a lawyer.
We cut off your source.
Who's supplying you? George, what's that guy doing over there? What guy? Now, what was that name again? -Cliff! His name's Cliff.
-And where is this Cliff? MATT: Cliff's a spiffy dresser, just like you, George.
Cliff's going to see your girlfriend.
Probably just picking up some dinner.
MATT: Oh, man.
GEORGE: This doesn't prove anything.
Come on, George, don't you get it? Ross has us clean up her competition then she moves in and takes over the market.
l can't believe that.
The darak.
The loan.
She wanted you in her pocket, man.
MATT: A Japanese restaurant.
MATT: lt figures.
You guys invented sushi.
MATT: Let's give her a minute before we go in.
To use a darak like that.
lt's such a betrayal.
Wait a minute.
lsn't that-- Alec Knightsbridge.
Supplies jonafryn to grammar-school children in South Central Los Angeles.
And him? l don't know.
What's the license? 1PCE499.
Lee Thor.
Drug arrest, 1991 pimping and pandering, 1993.
Assault, 1993.
Suspected of running a prostitution ring.
Well, that's the UN of local crime.
Let's join the party.
Hi.
City inspectors.
We need to confirm that your air conditioning isn't operative.
Gentlemen, we're all here.
Welcome.
To Ms.
Ross and her associate, a very special welcome.
Although we represent different organizations we have common interests and in important issues, we decide collectively.
We've asked you here today to discuss your recent interference in our affairs.
YAMATO: Conspiring with the police has cost some of us a great deal of money.
YAMATO: There are those at this table who've advocated having you killed.
YAMATO: However, wars are bad for business.
There's public outcry.
The police are forced to crack down.
Therefore, we've decided to give you all the jonafryn traffic within half-a-mile radius of your store.
You retain 15% of the profits.
We get the remaining 85% .
ln light of everything this offer is very generous.
Sorry, boys the territory's too small and the split stinks.
You're turning us down? A Slag? Let me explain something.
l am not your garden-variety Slag.
Onboard the ship, we were known as the Kleezantsun.
What you would call Overseers.
We bought and sold what you call Slags.
YAMATO: That's history, Ms.
Ross.
Mr.
Yamato, history repeats itself.
We've given you our bottom line.
Now what do you say? l'll have to talk with my people.
Excuse me.
GEORGE: She came with a purse! CROOK 1 : Gentlemen, l think we know what we have to do.
CROOK 2: Let's put a contract on her.
[Remote beeping.]
l called in the warrant on Ross.
Do you feel up to making the bust? Wild whores couldn't drag me away.
Horses.
Wild horses.
She almost had me, Matt.
How could l have been so stupid? Look, it could happen to anybody.
Matt you don't understand.
She is an Overseer.
lt's something l don't like to think about, but we got off that ship all right.
That means they did, too.
There were 250,000 of us.
But how many Overseers were there? [Siren wailing.]
Sikes! Francisco! You're too late, Burns, they already bagged the bodies.
-l came to see how you guys are.
-How did you know we were here? lt's on the radio already: ''Two cops pulled from the rubble! '' -Hey, guys, don't smile.
-No, thanks.
Come on! This is a big story.
All those mob guys -gangland conspiracy, right? -Hey, go take some pictures! Matt.
We're already on the radio, the news.
Ross probably knew we were inside.
l'm with you, George.
Let's go.
Hey, guys! Come on! Give me something! Anything! Sure, here.
This is 1-William-1-52 we're at Ross' place of business.
The suspect is not at the premises.
FEMALE VOlCE: Roger, 1-William-1-52.
Negative at her residence also.
Ross hasn't been seen all day.
She split, George.
We lost her.
BUCK: Emily's $100.
-This is adorable.
How old is she? -Ten.
Ten! What a smart kid.
She knows a good thing when she sees it.
Tell you what.
l'm gonna give her the choicest lot in the village.
-Thanks, Sam.
-You bet.
Why don't you bring Emily by the office tomorrow? -l'd like to meet this little mogul.
-Sure.
Something else l want to discuss with you.
l guess l'm like your little sister, l know a good thing when l see it.
You have got a real gift, Buck.
l'm expanding, l'm bringing new people in, and l'd like you to manage the office.
-Me? Office manager? -You bet.
Can you handle it? -Well, yeah, sure! -Great! l gotta go sign some contracts, but you bring Emily by the office tomorrow, okay? l'll see you then.
Nice jacket! Hey, you guys.
My two favorite detectives.
The Hardy Boys.
l feel sorry for you guys.
So l'm gonna throw you a bone.
Betsy Ross just called.
She knows we've got a warrant.
She wants to make a deal.
MATT: l've got a deal.
GRAZER: Right, Sikes.
That's why you're still Detective One.
-You told her we'd deal? -Damn right l did.
No prosecution.
She's a murderer, a drug dealer, the worst kind of low-life scum and you let her yank your chain? We gotta bring her down! Get off the soapbox.
That Slag, pardon the expression, has enough information for us to nail half a dozen very big dealers.
You mean the guys she didn't blow away already? l'm not gonna argue with you because you have a simplistic, juvenile, moral code.
These busts will be good for you, for me, for the Department and we're not gonna get them without cutting that deal.
Now Ross will meet with you.
See how she wants to set it up.
That's all, gentleman.
This place must have ate it in the big one back in '92.
-You want some backup? -No.
l'm supposed to go alone.
Matt l want you to know that l agreed with what you told Grazer.
You're pig-headed but you have integrity.
Thanks.
[Floorboard creaking.]
[Floorboard creaking.]
[Floorboard creaking.]
Hello, George.
Glad to see you weren't badly hurt.
Yes.
You have an investment in me, don't you? Here's the deal: no arrest, no indictment against me on any count.
l also want the cops off my back.
No harassment, no surveillance for two years.
ln exchange, l will give information to secure indictments against three major drug dealers now, plus another, every six months for the two years.
-You'll be a hero! -And you'll own the streets.
Yeah! That's the system.
You better learn it.
Compromise makes this world go round.
Five years ago, l'd have killed you as soon as look at you.
Now we're in business.
Continue to play your cards right, you can make some decent money, too.
See you, George.
-l'm placing you under arrest.
-You're exceeding your authority, George.
Grazer sent you to hear my terms.
The Overseers will not succeed, and you will not buy me.
You will make your deal from a jail cell just like the rest of the scum.
You stupid Slag! Bust me and there is no deal! You talk tough for a man in a cage.
l'll call your bluff.
Halt! George! lt's Cliff! -What're you doing here? -l had a feeling you'd ax that deal.
You're pig-headed but you got integrity.
[Gunshots firing.]
l'll draw him out.
Let's nail her ass.
[Speaking Tenctonese.]
-What the hell are you doing? -l am booking the suspect.
You get me out of here.
-This was your idea hotshot, wasn't it? -lt was my decision.
She's going to jail.
Any deal will be made on the DA's terms and not hers-- lf l'm not out of here in 30 seconds, there won't be a deal.
Do you realize the collars you won't make if this falls through? Do you realize what we pay for these collars? The lives you will ruin? The Newcomer children she will hook on jack? This is insubordination.
l gave you specific instructions.
-Don't book this woman! -Book her.
Don't you countermand my orders, Sergeant.
-Captain.
-What? Look who's here.
The reporter from hell.
Do you think Burns would be interested in a story about a certain police official Do you think Burns would be interested in a story about a certain police official who's willing to free homicidal drug dealers just for a few showy arrests? You wouldn't dare.
Book this woman.
BUCK: You know, l'm gonna buy a Porsche.
BUCK: You know, l'm gonna buy a Porsche.
BUCK: You think we should get Mom and Dad to invest? Good luck.
Dad told me the lRS has taken their last penny.
Well, maybe we'll get rich enough to buy the lRS.
ls it for sale? One thing Sam's taught me: everything's for sale.
l think you're gonna like this guy, Em.
-Where's Sam? -Who? Sam.
Simian Enterprises.
-Beats me.
-Wait a second, there were there were desks, phones, there was a whole office here! Well, maybe you have the wrong address.
Sam wouldn't just leave.
You told me you were gonna be the office manager.
Manager.
Right, right.
How could l be so stupid! And he he didn't even pay me! What about my $100? You lost it? You lost it! l believed you, l trusted you.
Do you know how long it took me to earn that money? How could you do this to me? BUCK: Emily! Em ! Em.
l'm sorry.
l'll pay you back.
[Speaking Tenctonese.]
No.
Come on, Em, what else can l do? What l mean is that l don't want you to pay me back.
-You don't? -No.
lt was my idea.
-No, but it's my responsibility.
-No, it's my responsibility.
l wanted you to do it.
l wanted to get rich, quick.
lt's okay, Buck, really.
But the TV stays in my room.
We got a letter from that lRS.
George, l know you had to tear up that check from Ross but is it necessary to give away the television? lt's the principle.
Besides we're giving it to charity.
lt's a deduction.
EMlLY: Where's the TV? Did he take the TV? -This is wonderful.
-What? lt seems they made a mistake, and we only owe $400.
-Dad you can't do this, it's a darak.
-Just a minute, sweetie.
Oh, no.
ln light of the aforementioned irregularities, we wish to audit your returns for the previous three years.
And how am l supposed to watch Love Connection? We have another TV.
Not in my room we don't.
You are so mean! Did you hear that? -Oh, hi.
-Hi, l was just coming over -l'm sorry.
-to apologize.
-l'm sorry l laughed.
-No.
l acted like a jerk.
Oh, this is for you.
-Oh, this is for you.
-Thanks.
-Thank you.
-Thanks.
Look, l.
l left something on the stove.
Right.