American Gothic (1995) s01e07 Episode Script
Strong Arm of the Law
What time is it? I don't know.
About 8:30.
We got to hurry, man.
How come? 'Cause we don't want to miss it.
David Sharp said every night at 8:30 like Old Faithful.
He's a seventh-grader.
Said we'd see everything.
What's everything? I'm not exactly sure.
But I want to see it, don't you? Reckon I do.
That's unacceptable.
That's business.
Unless you'd rather Are you sure David Sharp said 8:30? On the dot, man.
Maybe she didn't get dirty today.
This is it! Boost me up.
Let's git! Caleb! Rose, Caleb, get on down here.
Rose.
They were up late again last night, telling them ghost stories.
I'll talk to Caleb.
It's good they've got an imagination, ma'am.
I mean, not to tell you your business or anything but kids today, you know, they just get zoned out on that television and they lose the ability to make up stories for themselves.
I completely agree.
Are you a teacher, Mister Barrett.
No, ma'am.
My friends and I are in the service sector.
Yeah, service.
Me, too.
I'm a waitress.
Have you met Dr.
Crower? He's a resident at the Fulton County Hospital.
How's it going? Okay.
You must be pretty busy.
Well, I mean, I hear things are really opening up down here.
In what way? Opportunity.
Clean air.
Lower taxes.
Quality of life.
Quality of life.
Excuse me, Brother.
Mmm-mmm-mmm.
Mashed potatoes for breakfast.
Mashed potatoes? Son, where are you from? Them are grits.
I don't care what you call them, they smell damn good to me.
We're from Flint originally.
Flint? Michigan.
That's nice.
This must be Caleb.
Little fellow sees ghosts.
He's the man.
Here you go, buddy.
Eat and run, buddy.
It's late.
Doctor, have a nice day.
You'll have to excuse my little brother, Caleb.
This is his first big Southern breakfast.
Rose, I am going to count to three.
Rose, I am serious! All right, Rose, that's the last time you stay up and tell ghost stories.
Death.
You think you could ever get used to it? Well, not if you want to remain a human being.
You enjoying your coffee break, Ben? Yes, sir, I am.
Well, good.
We were having a nice chat.
About what? How Trinity could really use a good cappuccino bar? About death, actually.
Poor old Will had a good heart.
Too bad it crapped out on him.
Is that going to be your finding? Heart attack? Well, you examined the man, Dr.
Crower.
You tell me.
Well, I'd say accidental drowning possibly precipitated by a heart attack.
You could request an autopsy, just to make sure.
Your say-so's good enough for me, Doc.
Well, maybe I'll take another look.
Maybe you should.
Like you really care.
What's that, Ben? Nothing.
Something on your mind? Well, it just seems that the day Will Hawkins backed Lanny Ellis for sheriff is the day he became accident-prone.
Meaning what? Just what I said.
I mean, was that in there an accident-accident or was it an "accident"? You better cut back on the caffeine, friend.
Howdy, Sheriff.
Well, always good to see you Cecil.
Pull up a chair.
Can I see you in private? Well, now, Ben's my right arm, my old compadre.
Aren't you, Ben? You look like you got a jock full of chiggers, Cec.
Well, you would, too, if you were getting squeezed on all sides.
I mean, if it's not the government and the welfare cheats it's the charity racket.
Well, I am genuinely baffled, Cec.
But if someone is soliciting under false pretences we most definitely can't have that.
Right, Benji? Well, okay.
I think it is a bit much to be asked to donate to the Sheriff's of America Retirement Home Fund.
Whoa, Nellie.
You been borrowing the wife's diet pills again, Cec? Come on, Lucas.
We've known each other a long time.
What's going on? Why don't you give my deputy a statement, and I'll make some calls, all right? Hear the manager of Jackson and Freeman was asked to pay into the police pension fund.
Well, hello to you, too, Miss Emory.
And Buck's Gas Station, well, they were threatened with arson if they didn't kick in.
Care to comment? No.
You sure? Everybody else is.
They want to know why you're not doing anything about it.
People are saying that? Mmm-hmm.
Can we talk off the record? Okay.
I'm serious, now.
You can't tell a soul what I'm about to tell you, all right? Alien beings have landed in Trinity and are about to take over but don't you worry, I am on top of it.
You wish your problems were that easy.
Mom says every time a bell rings someone's got to pay.
I told you people, I'm not interested in your cause, whatever it is.
Now, Mr.
Perkins, we understand.
Everyone's trying to put the touch on you, I'm sure.
I mean, if it's not crippled children it's cirrhosis of the liver or, what, save the Eskimos? So I tell you what I'm going to do.
I've got you down as a Gold Shield donor at, what, $10,000? We'll make it Silver at $5,000.
Are you deaf or just stupid? I told you I'm not interested.
Cecil, you all right? Excuse me, can I help you? I'm talking to you.
Can I help you? We're having a private conversation here, right, Cec? Yeah, that's right.
Okay, pops, party's over.
Eddie, go make sure that gentleman isn't using the phone.
I can close this deal myself.
Give till it hurts, Cec.
Shall we go inside and talk like businessmen? Come on.
If you've got this covered, I'm going to Mmm.
Okay, just remember, Romeo, one more stat rape on your sheet, and it's going to be, "Mr.
Johnson, meet Mr.
Cattle Prod.
" I'm going to be a complete gentleman about it.
Oh.
I'm sorry.
That's okay.
I'm sorry.
Are you all right? You stupid hick.
Look, relax, fellow.
I said I was sorry.
You certainly are.
You're the sorriest cracker I've ever seen.
Somebody call the Sheriff! What, is that too much to ask? Sheriff? You don't want no Sheriff.
Would somebody please call the Sheriff? Eddie.
Get out of here.
Sir.
Give you a hand? It's okay, I'm here to help you.
You look like a man who's in need of some protection.
Here you go.
Carry that, okay? If you've got a minute, I'd like to talk to you about an organization that is dedicated to improving law enforcement in this country.
You interested? Now, listen to me, Mr.
Perkins.
You can tell your wife you fell down the stairs you got hit by a truck.
Whatever you want.
But I'm your doctor Get to the point, Doc.
Whoever did this, could have easily have killed you.
You've got cracked ribs, any one of which could have been a compound fracture, putting your heart at risk.
You've got severely bruised I appreciate the advice.
Can I go now? I want you to wait here a minute.
Cecil, you look terrible.
Took a spill, that's all.
I'm fine.
Was this the same outfit that had a run-in with my deputy? Run-in? Your deputy got run over, more like it.
I'll put them in a lineup, you point the finger.
End of story, Cecil.
And I would expect nothing less.
I mean, that is the bargain we made, isn't it? I mean, the end justifies the means, a little corruption is tolerated as long as the trains run on time.
That sort of thing, huh? Doctor, you got a tranquilizer for this man? He's about to boil over.
Sheriff, you are losing your grip.
Who are you looking at? I'm not so sure anymore.
Maybe I should check you, Sheriff.
Have a look at that Achilles' heel of yours? Those boys are working for you, aren't they? Not yet.
Why haven't you arrested them then? Give me a good reason.
They killed Will Hawkins, Lucas.
Well, that's funny.
Just this morning, you had me pegged for that crime.
Maybe you just let it happen.
Maybe I did.
And maybe I'm feeling a little under-appreciated lately.
You know, you can't have it both ways, Ben.
When I do something, I get your conscience in my face and when I don't, everybody's complaining.
So I think I'll just take a little vacation.
See how the trains run then.
If you're doing this to make a point, you've made it.
Good.
Then if you don't mind, I think I'll go to my office think real hard, and see if I can come up with a plan.
That work for you? You've made your point, Lucas.
I haven't even begun.
I hear that Deputy is having all his groceries delivered now.
Hey, fellows.
Guess it's time we met.
You must be Sheriff Buck.
I am.
You must be Barrett.
I am.
You know, I want to apologize.
We had no idea that loaf of bread was your deputy.
You want a beer? I'm on duty.
Mmm-hmm.
Anyhow, I didn't come for an apology.
No.
I came with some advice.
What? Get out of town? No, nothing like that.
You know I got no moral problem with shaking people down.
Yeah? So what's your point? But what was with that phony bathtub drowning? You testing the waters with old Will Hawkins? Your message was good, but your technique's a little heavy-handed.
How would have handled it there, Sheriff? Well, maybe what I'm saying is you boys did me a favor.
And you covered yourselves pretty well, too.
Except that you know, being outsiders to Trinity and all the finger's going to point at you soon enough.
Well, sounds like you want to join up with us.
Well, what I had in mind was the other way around.
Well, now, that all depends on the total package.
Salary, clothes, cars, houses, whores.
There's plenty for everyone, Earl.
Quality of life.
Amen to that.
Who made you spokesmodel for the group, Earl? Why don't you just shut up? Well, talk amongst yourselves.
No one's in a real hurry.
There you go, son.
Have one on me.
Well, well.
Well, what? Well, damn.
Something about that Southern boy I don't trust.
You forgot to say boo.
How'd you know I was here? Eyes in the back of my head.
So, you decide to stay at my place till this thing blows over? No, I better not do that.
Who'd look after Dr.
Matt? He's a big boy.
Anyhow, they'll go away soon enough.
What'd you do, you bribe them? What makes you say that? You didn't arrest them, so I figure they's okay with you.
Son, they are not okay with me, but I don't want to get into it with you.
Now, you stay out of these boys' way.
Are you going to shoot them? Well, guess they had it coming.
Look, we got the hardware store.
Right.
We got the convenience store.
Right.
So all we got to do is go back to that farm dealership and we'll move on.
Great.
Man, let's get out.
This town, it's giving me the creeps.
Okay.
You want a beer? No.
Put that back.
Wait.
Little bastard! He's dead! Who's in here? What do you want? Who is it? You seem like a pretty smart kid.
You a curious kid? Get out of my room.
You know what curiosity did, kid.
Killed the cat.
I'm going to yell for Dr.
Matt.
Then you are going to have a dead Dr.
Matt.
You took our money, didn't you, boy? Didn't you? No.
Stealing is a crime, boy.
We're going to have to call Sheriff Buck.
Merly.
What's that? Okay, you're a bad boy.
I'll give you that.
But what I won't give you is a second chance.
Thanks, Merly.
Here you are.
Go on.
Bye-bye, baby.
Baby.
Feeling better now? I'm just fine, Officer.
I know you are.
Looks like Marleen did you right.
She comes from a long line of backwoods' nymphos.
She sure does.
Looks like you could use a nightcap, there.
Got any more of this? Step into my office, son.
There's a lot more where this came from.
Come on.
Have a seat back there.
Watch your head, now.
Hey Open up the door.
I can't be cooped up.
I'm claustrophobic.
I'm sure those were old Will Hawkins thoughts as he was held under in his tub.
Who said I did it? Well, you just did, dummy.
I did not.
Did, too.
I did not.
Yes, you did.
Don't you remember? No.
Yeah.
Really? Really.
No, I Well, what did I say? You just confessed.
Boy, you are drunk, aren't you? You know what's going to happen, if you go down for that murder, don't you? What? They restrain you in the chair, your arms and legs tied tight.
They shave a little patch on your head, and another on your right leg.
I didn't make no confession.
They smear conductive jelly on the shaved parts.
It's dark.
Cold metal touches your skin.
You're trying to scare me.
And you can hardly breathe.
You can't move.
Then they pull a black hood down over your face blocking out all the light.
And then you just wait, and wait and wait.
That's right.
You settle down for a nice long nap.
We got a big day tomorrow.
Friends, we are gathered here to dedicate to earth the mortal remains of Will Hawkins.
Will Hawkins, a loving son, a loving father a loving husband.
"Behold, I show you a mystery.
"We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed.
"In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye "at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound "and the dead shall be raised incorruptible "and we shall be changed.
"For this corruption is put on" Cecil, how's business? Safe and sound? It's good, Lucas.
Everything's fine.
"And this mortal shall have put on immortality.
" Well, I'm glad.
"brought to pass the saying that is written "Death is swallowed up in victory.
"O death, where is thy sting? "Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.
"Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
"Give us this day our daily bread.
"And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
"Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
" How long are we supposed to wait around for him? He's a partner, Lowell.
We don't run out on partners, okay? Yeah, well, maybe he ran out on us.
Where's Eddie going to go? He's just sleeping it off somewhere.
He'll be back.
When he gets back, we'll make our rounds and if you don't want to stay here tonight Do you? With that little demon upstairs? Come on, he's a little kid.
What, are you scared of a little kid? Yeah, well, that little kid has something going on, okay? Look, I admit he's a little weird.
But this town is working for us so either you want to pillage and plunder or you want to go back to Flint selling tires.
You make the call, big guy.
They got guns and knives and all kind of money.
I seen it.
Where? In their room.
And they know I'm onto them cause they tried to scare me away with their stupid pig masks.
What were they talking to Lucas about? Some kind of business, I don't know.
But they're the ones, Gail.
They're the ones who killed Mr.
Hawkins.
So, I do good? Did I give you a good story? Yeah, you did real good, Caleb.
Thanks.
Now, will you do something for me? Sure.
I want you to go to my house, and I want you to wait for me right there, okay? Why? Just do as I say.
I'll be there as soon as I can.
Now, run.
Hurry.
Need a room? Not that I run this place but I'm sure for a woman as beautiful as you I could probably swing something.
You have some pull, do you? Just my boyish charm.
Kid a friend of yours? Cousin.
Mmm.
Family close? Very.
That's good.
Family's important.
It's good to have people you can talk with.
People you trust.
My name's Earl.
I know.
I know.
Really? Sure.
I've heard all about you.
You and your friends are the talk of the town.
We're all real impressed with your work.
Is that so? Well, Will Hawkins he never really did fit in.
He was too independent.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Well, come on, Earl.
You know, one man can't run a whole county all by himself.
You know, the Sheriff needs some help, so Well, I'm clearing $2,000 a week.
What's he paying you? You know I still haven't got your name.
Gail.
That's pretty.
That's kind of an old-fashioned name.
Are you an old-fashioned girl? When it suits me.
Well then, tell me, Gail, why are you talking to a stranger? Now, what do you want? I came here to warn you.
Lucas is not your friend.
He's going to hang you out to dry.
Lady, you're obviously very confused.
I have three partners, none of whom wear badges.
Maybe you do.
Now, let's see if we can find it.
I'm not a cop.
You know what happens now? This is the part.
This is where they scream for me.
Are you going to scream for me? No.
But you are.
These things have a thousand uses.
Hate to interrupt, but that man was about to break the law.
I didn't need your help.
I don't want to tell you how to do your job.
You being a big city reporter, and all.
The next time you need dirt on me, just come to the source.
Don't forget to read him his rights.
I won't.
See, unlike you, Miss Emory, I haven't lost faith in the system.
Come on, charm school, justice calls.
Where are they? Who? My partners, dipwad.
I know you got them, and I want them out now.
That's my deputy you're talking to there, friend.
An officer of the law.
I've come to make bail for Earl McKeever and Just Eddie.
I don't think that's possible.
I got plenty of money.
How much? $5,000.
$7,000, and you got a deal.
Ben, write this man a receipt.
Okay, now let them go.
I would love to do that, really.
There's nothing like money well spent.
But But what? They're not here.
Now, look, I paid you the money.
Now, let them go.
And I told you, we ain't got them.
They escaped.
You're lying.
They completely fooled us country folk.
We thought we had them dead to rights but they tunneled out of here just like Steve McQueen.
They're probably in Switzerland by now.
You're a lying Careful, partner.
Give me my money! No.
I don't think so.
But you can take comfort in knowing that it will be donated to a good cause.
How about the Sheriff's of America Retirement Home Fund? That work for you Ben? That works for me.
Good.
Feel free to take a tax deduction.
You cannot do this to me.
Just did.
Simple process, really.
We keep your money, and you leave.
Now.
Get out of here.
Nobody talks to me like this! I do.
And there's nothing you can do about it.
You want to know why? Because your big brother ain't here to protect you.
Oh-oh.
Okay.
Assaulting an officer's a felony in South Carolina.
Better close up that tunnel, Ben.
I'm way ahead of you, Sheriff.
Right this way, Mr.
Dipwad.
I will.
I'd love to.
Thank you, ma'am.
No, to be even considered for the position of Chief Judge of the Daughters of the Confederacy Fall Rose Pageant, it just Excuse me, ma'am.
Is that belt too tight, Lowell? Well, just hang on.
Certainly an honor and a privilege.
Lucas? Lucas? You back here? Ma'am, something's come up, and I'm going to have to call you back.
Thank you for your patience.
Help, Ben.
Help.
There's a man trying to commit suicide in our jail.
Better hurry.
What are his vitals? You get a pulse? No B.
P.
, no pulse.
Okay, get his shirt off.
Start CPR.
Our boy going to make it? No thanks to you.
I got him here as soon as I could.
I'll bet you did.
One milligram M.
P.
I.
V.
Come on.
Don't you die on me.
Tell me, Harvard, would you qualify asphyxiation as a painful death? You could do worse.
That's good.
Keep that regular.
That's good.
Come on, buddy.
You know, Doc, I believe you're right.
Get some fluids in him.
See? There is justice in the world.
Evening, Lowell.
Need a lozenge? How long did the doctor say you got to wear that thing? They said about a month.
What are we going to do about this Sheriff? What are you talking about? I thought you said you wanted to leave town.
Yeah, but that was before he almost strangled me with my own belt.
Almost is a lot better than dead, Lowell.
You spoken to Just Eddie lately? I just wanted to make sure to return this to you.
And you call us heavy-handed.
That's unfair, Barrett.
I was a regular old, one-man suicide hotline.
What are you doing, man? Offering you a second chance.
Little piece of the American dream.
Now, your presence here has damn near soiled my reputation and I do believe that you owe me.
Okay.
What do you want? Well, we can start with every nickel that you collected from my people.
And then, I think we can put you to work.
You boys ever make an honest living? No such thing.
There is in my town.
Buddy of mine owns a little auto-body place.
Could use a couple of good salesmen.
Tire salesmen.
What? You have any experience in that area? No deal? That's right.
Mmm.
There's only one road out of Trinity, boys.
And it goes north.
Towards Michigan? We should've gone north.
That's what he wanted us to do.
That's why we're heading south.
Maybe he knew we would think that and go south.
That's why we should've gone north.
Just drive, Lowell.
Where we going? Up ahead.
Not too far.
This'll do.
Park across both lanes.
We'll be in the middle of the road.
That's why they call it a "roadblock", Ben.
Something bothering you? What are we doing out here, Lucas? Perfecting justice.
Barrett.
Mmm-hmm.
Barrett, maybe if we owned our own place it would be different.
What kind of place? Well, if we weren't salesmen, if we actually called our own shots if we ordered other people around.
Lucas, a car's coming.
Hold your ground.
What kind of place, Lowell? You know a tire store.
Watch out! Okay, keep going! Go around him! You can come out from behind that tree now, Ben.
Howdy, Lowell.
Nice night.
Hey, guy.
Help me out of here.
I already offered you that, but some people just don't listen.
Where's your brother? Come on.
Why don't you give me a hand? You let me think on that.
Now, where do you think you're going? Don't be in such a rush, Barrett.
There's a fellow over there, could use a little brotherly love.
Barrett, meet Lowell.
Lowell, meet Barrett.
Highway safety is half the job, fellows.
I don't think you'll be able to make it through those handcuffs with this knife.
But you might be able to work your way through a wrist.
You know we can't cut through a wrist! Guess it depends on how motivated you are.
Barrett, we gotta get out of here.
I've been thinking about the evidence we have here and I am nearly certain I could get a conviction for reckless driving.
But I'm only going to issue a warning this time.
Hey! Fellows.
Sheriff! I'll take that job! Sheriff.
Sheriff! Barrett! Shouldn't we call an ambulance? They got their chance.
Now it's up to them to take it.
Your conscience still bothering you? Yes, it is.
Well, tell me, Ben.
What hurts more, your conscience or your ribcage? And we're giving them a wrist for a rib.
It's almost biblical.
About 8:30.
We got to hurry, man.
How come? 'Cause we don't want to miss it.
David Sharp said every night at 8:30 like Old Faithful.
He's a seventh-grader.
Said we'd see everything.
What's everything? I'm not exactly sure.
But I want to see it, don't you? Reckon I do.
That's unacceptable.
That's business.
Unless you'd rather Are you sure David Sharp said 8:30? On the dot, man.
Maybe she didn't get dirty today.
This is it! Boost me up.
Let's git! Caleb! Rose, Caleb, get on down here.
Rose.
They were up late again last night, telling them ghost stories.
I'll talk to Caleb.
It's good they've got an imagination, ma'am.
I mean, not to tell you your business or anything but kids today, you know, they just get zoned out on that television and they lose the ability to make up stories for themselves.
I completely agree.
Are you a teacher, Mister Barrett.
No, ma'am.
My friends and I are in the service sector.
Yeah, service.
Me, too.
I'm a waitress.
Have you met Dr.
Crower? He's a resident at the Fulton County Hospital.
How's it going? Okay.
You must be pretty busy.
Well, I mean, I hear things are really opening up down here.
In what way? Opportunity.
Clean air.
Lower taxes.
Quality of life.
Quality of life.
Excuse me, Brother.
Mmm-mmm-mmm.
Mashed potatoes for breakfast.
Mashed potatoes? Son, where are you from? Them are grits.
I don't care what you call them, they smell damn good to me.
We're from Flint originally.
Flint? Michigan.
That's nice.
This must be Caleb.
Little fellow sees ghosts.
He's the man.
Here you go, buddy.
Eat and run, buddy.
It's late.
Doctor, have a nice day.
You'll have to excuse my little brother, Caleb.
This is his first big Southern breakfast.
Rose, I am going to count to three.
Rose, I am serious! All right, Rose, that's the last time you stay up and tell ghost stories.
Death.
You think you could ever get used to it? Well, not if you want to remain a human being.
You enjoying your coffee break, Ben? Yes, sir, I am.
Well, good.
We were having a nice chat.
About what? How Trinity could really use a good cappuccino bar? About death, actually.
Poor old Will had a good heart.
Too bad it crapped out on him.
Is that going to be your finding? Heart attack? Well, you examined the man, Dr.
Crower.
You tell me.
Well, I'd say accidental drowning possibly precipitated by a heart attack.
You could request an autopsy, just to make sure.
Your say-so's good enough for me, Doc.
Well, maybe I'll take another look.
Maybe you should.
Like you really care.
What's that, Ben? Nothing.
Something on your mind? Well, it just seems that the day Will Hawkins backed Lanny Ellis for sheriff is the day he became accident-prone.
Meaning what? Just what I said.
I mean, was that in there an accident-accident or was it an "accident"? You better cut back on the caffeine, friend.
Howdy, Sheriff.
Well, always good to see you Cecil.
Pull up a chair.
Can I see you in private? Well, now, Ben's my right arm, my old compadre.
Aren't you, Ben? You look like you got a jock full of chiggers, Cec.
Well, you would, too, if you were getting squeezed on all sides.
I mean, if it's not the government and the welfare cheats it's the charity racket.
Well, I am genuinely baffled, Cec.
But if someone is soliciting under false pretences we most definitely can't have that.
Right, Benji? Well, okay.
I think it is a bit much to be asked to donate to the Sheriff's of America Retirement Home Fund.
Whoa, Nellie.
You been borrowing the wife's diet pills again, Cec? Come on, Lucas.
We've known each other a long time.
What's going on? Why don't you give my deputy a statement, and I'll make some calls, all right? Hear the manager of Jackson and Freeman was asked to pay into the police pension fund.
Well, hello to you, too, Miss Emory.
And Buck's Gas Station, well, they were threatened with arson if they didn't kick in.
Care to comment? No.
You sure? Everybody else is.
They want to know why you're not doing anything about it.
People are saying that? Mmm-hmm.
Can we talk off the record? Okay.
I'm serious, now.
You can't tell a soul what I'm about to tell you, all right? Alien beings have landed in Trinity and are about to take over but don't you worry, I am on top of it.
You wish your problems were that easy.
Mom says every time a bell rings someone's got to pay.
I told you people, I'm not interested in your cause, whatever it is.
Now, Mr.
Perkins, we understand.
Everyone's trying to put the touch on you, I'm sure.
I mean, if it's not crippled children it's cirrhosis of the liver or, what, save the Eskimos? So I tell you what I'm going to do.
I've got you down as a Gold Shield donor at, what, $10,000? We'll make it Silver at $5,000.
Are you deaf or just stupid? I told you I'm not interested.
Cecil, you all right? Excuse me, can I help you? I'm talking to you.
Can I help you? We're having a private conversation here, right, Cec? Yeah, that's right.
Okay, pops, party's over.
Eddie, go make sure that gentleman isn't using the phone.
I can close this deal myself.
Give till it hurts, Cec.
Shall we go inside and talk like businessmen? Come on.
If you've got this covered, I'm going to Mmm.
Okay, just remember, Romeo, one more stat rape on your sheet, and it's going to be, "Mr.
Johnson, meet Mr.
Cattle Prod.
" I'm going to be a complete gentleman about it.
Oh.
I'm sorry.
That's okay.
I'm sorry.
Are you all right? You stupid hick.
Look, relax, fellow.
I said I was sorry.
You certainly are.
You're the sorriest cracker I've ever seen.
Somebody call the Sheriff! What, is that too much to ask? Sheriff? You don't want no Sheriff.
Would somebody please call the Sheriff? Eddie.
Get out of here.
Sir.
Give you a hand? It's okay, I'm here to help you.
You look like a man who's in need of some protection.
Here you go.
Carry that, okay? If you've got a minute, I'd like to talk to you about an organization that is dedicated to improving law enforcement in this country.
You interested? Now, listen to me, Mr.
Perkins.
You can tell your wife you fell down the stairs you got hit by a truck.
Whatever you want.
But I'm your doctor Get to the point, Doc.
Whoever did this, could have easily have killed you.
You've got cracked ribs, any one of which could have been a compound fracture, putting your heart at risk.
You've got severely bruised I appreciate the advice.
Can I go now? I want you to wait here a minute.
Cecil, you look terrible.
Took a spill, that's all.
I'm fine.
Was this the same outfit that had a run-in with my deputy? Run-in? Your deputy got run over, more like it.
I'll put them in a lineup, you point the finger.
End of story, Cecil.
And I would expect nothing less.
I mean, that is the bargain we made, isn't it? I mean, the end justifies the means, a little corruption is tolerated as long as the trains run on time.
That sort of thing, huh? Doctor, you got a tranquilizer for this man? He's about to boil over.
Sheriff, you are losing your grip.
Who are you looking at? I'm not so sure anymore.
Maybe I should check you, Sheriff.
Have a look at that Achilles' heel of yours? Those boys are working for you, aren't they? Not yet.
Why haven't you arrested them then? Give me a good reason.
They killed Will Hawkins, Lucas.
Well, that's funny.
Just this morning, you had me pegged for that crime.
Maybe you just let it happen.
Maybe I did.
And maybe I'm feeling a little under-appreciated lately.
You know, you can't have it both ways, Ben.
When I do something, I get your conscience in my face and when I don't, everybody's complaining.
So I think I'll just take a little vacation.
See how the trains run then.
If you're doing this to make a point, you've made it.
Good.
Then if you don't mind, I think I'll go to my office think real hard, and see if I can come up with a plan.
That work for you? You've made your point, Lucas.
I haven't even begun.
I hear that Deputy is having all his groceries delivered now.
Hey, fellows.
Guess it's time we met.
You must be Sheriff Buck.
I am.
You must be Barrett.
I am.
You know, I want to apologize.
We had no idea that loaf of bread was your deputy.
You want a beer? I'm on duty.
Mmm-hmm.
Anyhow, I didn't come for an apology.
No.
I came with some advice.
What? Get out of town? No, nothing like that.
You know I got no moral problem with shaking people down.
Yeah? So what's your point? But what was with that phony bathtub drowning? You testing the waters with old Will Hawkins? Your message was good, but your technique's a little heavy-handed.
How would have handled it there, Sheriff? Well, maybe what I'm saying is you boys did me a favor.
And you covered yourselves pretty well, too.
Except that you know, being outsiders to Trinity and all the finger's going to point at you soon enough.
Well, sounds like you want to join up with us.
Well, what I had in mind was the other way around.
Well, now, that all depends on the total package.
Salary, clothes, cars, houses, whores.
There's plenty for everyone, Earl.
Quality of life.
Amen to that.
Who made you spokesmodel for the group, Earl? Why don't you just shut up? Well, talk amongst yourselves.
No one's in a real hurry.
There you go, son.
Have one on me.
Well, well.
Well, what? Well, damn.
Something about that Southern boy I don't trust.
You forgot to say boo.
How'd you know I was here? Eyes in the back of my head.
So, you decide to stay at my place till this thing blows over? No, I better not do that.
Who'd look after Dr.
Matt? He's a big boy.
Anyhow, they'll go away soon enough.
What'd you do, you bribe them? What makes you say that? You didn't arrest them, so I figure they's okay with you.
Son, they are not okay with me, but I don't want to get into it with you.
Now, you stay out of these boys' way.
Are you going to shoot them? Well, guess they had it coming.
Look, we got the hardware store.
Right.
We got the convenience store.
Right.
So all we got to do is go back to that farm dealership and we'll move on.
Great.
Man, let's get out.
This town, it's giving me the creeps.
Okay.
You want a beer? No.
Put that back.
Wait.
Little bastard! He's dead! Who's in here? What do you want? Who is it? You seem like a pretty smart kid.
You a curious kid? Get out of my room.
You know what curiosity did, kid.
Killed the cat.
I'm going to yell for Dr.
Matt.
Then you are going to have a dead Dr.
Matt.
You took our money, didn't you, boy? Didn't you? No.
Stealing is a crime, boy.
We're going to have to call Sheriff Buck.
Merly.
What's that? Okay, you're a bad boy.
I'll give you that.
But what I won't give you is a second chance.
Thanks, Merly.
Here you are.
Go on.
Bye-bye, baby.
Baby.
Feeling better now? I'm just fine, Officer.
I know you are.
Looks like Marleen did you right.
She comes from a long line of backwoods' nymphos.
She sure does.
Looks like you could use a nightcap, there.
Got any more of this? Step into my office, son.
There's a lot more where this came from.
Come on.
Have a seat back there.
Watch your head, now.
Hey Open up the door.
I can't be cooped up.
I'm claustrophobic.
I'm sure those were old Will Hawkins thoughts as he was held under in his tub.
Who said I did it? Well, you just did, dummy.
I did not.
Did, too.
I did not.
Yes, you did.
Don't you remember? No.
Yeah.
Really? Really.
No, I Well, what did I say? You just confessed.
Boy, you are drunk, aren't you? You know what's going to happen, if you go down for that murder, don't you? What? They restrain you in the chair, your arms and legs tied tight.
They shave a little patch on your head, and another on your right leg.
I didn't make no confession.
They smear conductive jelly on the shaved parts.
It's dark.
Cold metal touches your skin.
You're trying to scare me.
And you can hardly breathe.
You can't move.
Then they pull a black hood down over your face blocking out all the light.
And then you just wait, and wait and wait.
That's right.
You settle down for a nice long nap.
We got a big day tomorrow.
Friends, we are gathered here to dedicate to earth the mortal remains of Will Hawkins.
Will Hawkins, a loving son, a loving father a loving husband.
"Behold, I show you a mystery.
"We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed.
"In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye "at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound "and the dead shall be raised incorruptible "and we shall be changed.
"For this corruption is put on" Cecil, how's business? Safe and sound? It's good, Lucas.
Everything's fine.
"And this mortal shall have put on immortality.
" Well, I'm glad.
"brought to pass the saying that is written "Death is swallowed up in victory.
"O death, where is thy sting? "Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.
"Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
"Give us this day our daily bread.
"And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
"Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
" How long are we supposed to wait around for him? He's a partner, Lowell.
We don't run out on partners, okay? Yeah, well, maybe he ran out on us.
Where's Eddie going to go? He's just sleeping it off somewhere.
He'll be back.
When he gets back, we'll make our rounds and if you don't want to stay here tonight Do you? With that little demon upstairs? Come on, he's a little kid.
What, are you scared of a little kid? Yeah, well, that little kid has something going on, okay? Look, I admit he's a little weird.
But this town is working for us so either you want to pillage and plunder or you want to go back to Flint selling tires.
You make the call, big guy.
They got guns and knives and all kind of money.
I seen it.
Where? In their room.
And they know I'm onto them cause they tried to scare me away with their stupid pig masks.
What were they talking to Lucas about? Some kind of business, I don't know.
But they're the ones, Gail.
They're the ones who killed Mr.
Hawkins.
So, I do good? Did I give you a good story? Yeah, you did real good, Caleb.
Thanks.
Now, will you do something for me? Sure.
I want you to go to my house, and I want you to wait for me right there, okay? Why? Just do as I say.
I'll be there as soon as I can.
Now, run.
Hurry.
Need a room? Not that I run this place but I'm sure for a woman as beautiful as you I could probably swing something.
You have some pull, do you? Just my boyish charm.
Kid a friend of yours? Cousin.
Mmm.
Family close? Very.
That's good.
Family's important.
It's good to have people you can talk with.
People you trust.
My name's Earl.
I know.
I know.
Really? Sure.
I've heard all about you.
You and your friends are the talk of the town.
We're all real impressed with your work.
Is that so? Well, Will Hawkins he never really did fit in.
He was too independent.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Well, come on, Earl.
You know, one man can't run a whole county all by himself.
You know, the Sheriff needs some help, so Well, I'm clearing $2,000 a week.
What's he paying you? You know I still haven't got your name.
Gail.
That's pretty.
That's kind of an old-fashioned name.
Are you an old-fashioned girl? When it suits me.
Well then, tell me, Gail, why are you talking to a stranger? Now, what do you want? I came here to warn you.
Lucas is not your friend.
He's going to hang you out to dry.
Lady, you're obviously very confused.
I have three partners, none of whom wear badges.
Maybe you do.
Now, let's see if we can find it.
I'm not a cop.
You know what happens now? This is the part.
This is where they scream for me.
Are you going to scream for me? No.
But you are.
These things have a thousand uses.
Hate to interrupt, but that man was about to break the law.
I didn't need your help.
I don't want to tell you how to do your job.
You being a big city reporter, and all.
The next time you need dirt on me, just come to the source.
Don't forget to read him his rights.
I won't.
See, unlike you, Miss Emory, I haven't lost faith in the system.
Come on, charm school, justice calls.
Where are they? Who? My partners, dipwad.
I know you got them, and I want them out now.
That's my deputy you're talking to there, friend.
An officer of the law.
I've come to make bail for Earl McKeever and Just Eddie.
I don't think that's possible.
I got plenty of money.
How much? $5,000.
$7,000, and you got a deal.
Ben, write this man a receipt.
Okay, now let them go.
I would love to do that, really.
There's nothing like money well spent.
But But what? They're not here.
Now, look, I paid you the money.
Now, let them go.
And I told you, we ain't got them.
They escaped.
You're lying.
They completely fooled us country folk.
We thought we had them dead to rights but they tunneled out of here just like Steve McQueen.
They're probably in Switzerland by now.
You're a lying Careful, partner.
Give me my money! No.
I don't think so.
But you can take comfort in knowing that it will be donated to a good cause.
How about the Sheriff's of America Retirement Home Fund? That work for you Ben? That works for me.
Good.
Feel free to take a tax deduction.
You cannot do this to me.
Just did.
Simple process, really.
We keep your money, and you leave.
Now.
Get out of here.
Nobody talks to me like this! I do.
And there's nothing you can do about it.
You want to know why? Because your big brother ain't here to protect you.
Oh-oh.
Okay.
Assaulting an officer's a felony in South Carolina.
Better close up that tunnel, Ben.
I'm way ahead of you, Sheriff.
Right this way, Mr.
Dipwad.
I will.
I'd love to.
Thank you, ma'am.
No, to be even considered for the position of Chief Judge of the Daughters of the Confederacy Fall Rose Pageant, it just Excuse me, ma'am.
Is that belt too tight, Lowell? Well, just hang on.
Certainly an honor and a privilege.
Lucas? Lucas? You back here? Ma'am, something's come up, and I'm going to have to call you back.
Thank you for your patience.
Help, Ben.
Help.
There's a man trying to commit suicide in our jail.
Better hurry.
What are his vitals? You get a pulse? No B.
P.
, no pulse.
Okay, get his shirt off.
Start CPR.
Our boy going to make it? No thanks to you.
I got him here as soon as I could.
I'll bet you did.
One milligram M.
P.
I.
V.
Come on.
Don't you die on me.
Tell me, Harvard, would you qualify asphyxiation as a painful death? You could do worse.
That's good.
Keep that regular.
That's good.
Come on, buddy.
You know, Doc, I believe you're right.
Get some fluids in him.
See? There is justice in the world.
Evening, Lowell.
Need a lozenge? How long did the doctor say you got to wear that thing? They said about a month.
What are we going to do about this Sheriff? What are you talking about? I thought you said you wanted to leave town.
Yeah, but that was before he almost strangled me with my own belt.
Almost is a lot better than dead, Lowell.
You spoken to Just Eddie lately? I just wanted to make sure to return this to you.
And you call us heavy-handed.
That's unfair, Barrett.
I was a regular old, one-man suicide hotline.
What are you doing, man? Offering you a second chance.
Little piece of the American dream.
Now, your presence here has damn near soiled my reputation and I do believe that you owe me.
Okay.
What do you want? Well, we can start with every nickel that you collected from my people.
And then, I think we can put you to work.
You boys ever make an honest living? No such thing.
There is in my town.
Buddy of mine owns a little auto-body place.
Could use a couple of good salesmen.
Tire salesmen.
What? You have any experience in that area? No deal? That's right.
Mmm.
There's only one road out of Trinity, boys.
And it goes north.
Towards Michigan? We should've gone north.
That's what he wanted us to do.
That's why we're heading south.
Maybe he knew we would think that and go south.
That's why we should've gone north.
Just drive, Lowell.
Where we going? Up ahead.
Not too far.
This'll do.
Park across both lanes.
We'll be in the middle of the road.
That's why they call it a "roadblock", Ben.
Something bothering you? What are we doing out here, Lucas? Perfecting justice.
Barrett.
Mmm-hmm.
Barrett, maybe if we owned our own place it would be different.
What kind of place? Well, if we weren't salesmen, if we actually called our own shots if we ordered other people around.
Lucas, a car's coming.
Hold your ground.
What kind of place, Lowell? You know a tire store.
Watch out! Okay, keep going! Go around him! You can come out from behind that tree now, Ben.
Howdy, Lowell.
Nice night.
Hey, guy.
Help me out of here.
I already offered you that, but some people just don't listen.
Where's your brother? Come on.
Why don't you give me a hand? You let me think on that.
Now, where do you think you're going? Don't be in such a rush, Barrett.
There's a fellow over there, could use a little brotherly love.
Barrett, meet Lowell.
Lowell, meet Barrett.
Highway safety is half the job, fellows.
I don't think you'll be able to make it through those handcuffs with this knife.
But you might be able to work your way through a wrist.
You know we can't cut through a wrist! Guess it depends on how motivated you are.
Barrett, we gotta get out of here.
I've been thinking about the evidence we have here and I am nearly certain I could get a conviction for reckless driving.
But I'm only going to issue a warning this time.
Hey! Fellows.
Sheriff! I'll take that job! Sheriff.
Sheriff! Barrett! Shouldn't we call an ambulance? They got their chance.
Now it's up to them to take it.
Your conscience still bothering you? Yes, it is.
Well, tell me, Ben.
What hurts more, your conscience or your ribcage? And we're giving them a wrist for a rib.
It's almost biblical.