Amphibia (2019) s01e07 Episode Script

1
Why do we always hang out in the woods?
You have a perfectly good living room.
Where's the fun in that?
This place is full of nature.
Whoo-hoo!
Yeah, exactly.
Stay back.
It could be a blood sucking predator.
You are really not selling me
on this place.
Oh, no. It's an
Ambush!
I'm hit! Sprig down! Sprig down!
Hey, Ivy. Nice ambush.
Gourd in a wig? Classic.
Can't take all the credit.
You're really easy to trick.
Well, guilty as charged.
Oh, Ivy, meet Anne.
Oddity from another world.
Anne, meet Ivy. Childhood acquaintance
and occasional sparring partner.
- Hey, Ivy.
- Hey, I've seen you around.
Nice to officially meet.
Do you like being randomly attacked?
- Not at all.
- Well, too bad.
See you later, Sprig.
But you won't see me.
Well, well, well.
She's kinda cute, huh?
I don't know what you're talking about.
Well, well, well, well, well, well, well.
You're being weird, Anne.
We are home!
What have you two been doing?
I've been looking for you all morning.
Oh, nothing.
Except Sprig was totally flirting
with a cute girl!
No kidding?
Anne, it's not like that.
Ivy Sundew and I are just friends.
Ivy Sundew? Nobody move!
I'm getting the courtship kit.
This is so exciting!
I'm gonna go get my dating magazines. BRB!
I don't actually care.
Here we go. The firefly formal is tonight.
It's the perfect opportunity
to begin the ritual.
Ritual?
Only frogs who have performed
the ceremonial dance,
in the ceremonial garb
are allowed to be wed.
Huh. Kitchy. I like it.
Guys! We're just friends.
Besides, I'm already engaged
to Maddie, right?
She gave me this nifty ring.
Forget her. The Sundews have
secret proprietary crops.
Do you have any idea what that means?
If our families merge, we'll be rich!
Wow. So romantic.
Uhh! I love these magazines.
Look, Sprig. It says here
two-thirds of all soul mates
start out as "just friends."
Wait, what? Really?
And you trust these things?
Definitely. Magazines never lie.
Could Ivy be my eternal love,
my soul mate, the cat to my bat?
Well, we're about to find out
'cause I already asked her family.
They agreed to a date!
What do you want?
Oh, your tip. Alright. Here you go.
But don't take too much, though.
I have chores to do later.
Well, missing out on eternal love
does sound bad.
I guess one date couldn't hurt.
- Hey!
- That's my boy!
- Stop struggling.
- Just a little more.
Alrighty. Cool.
My boy, you look incredible.
I don't know about this.
Ivy's gonna think I look stupid.
I think I look stupid.
Great! You'll have something in common.
It's fine. Ow. Ow. Ow.
My little girl's a woman.
Mom!
All right, boy,
go get that lucrative
business relationship.
I mean, romantic relationship.
Saved it.
Hey.
Hi.
Uh these are for you.
Thanks.
So
you're looking like a girl frog.
Oh, okay. I like your, uh, collar.
I'm so happy we agreed
on this merger, Hopadiah.
That Sprig of yours
looks like a hard worker.
Like we agreed, you'll get
Sprig to work at your restaurant,
and I'll get the seeds
to those Sundew vegetables.
Agreed.
This is so exciting.
I wonder what their ship name will be.
Ivig? Spriglvy?
What are you even saying?
Shh! let's watch
our little love doves fly.
- Love doves are birds that mate for life.
- I got it.
Excuse me, everybody,
but, I hear we have a couple
of love doves here tonight,
Ivy Sundew and Sprig Plantar.
Whoo! A big hand for them.
Come on, let me hear it.
Hopadiah Plantar says, "Sprig,
don't mess this up for us."
And Felicia Sundew would like Ivy
to "have a great courtship. Wink."
It says "wink" here. "Love, mom."
All right, then. Hit it, boys!
There we go.
I had no idea you felt
this way about me, Sprig.
Oh, sure. Didn't you know two-thirds
of all mates start with souls?
Ah! I mean, two-thirds
of all souls start with
I can't do this.
I'm really sorry, Ivy.
I I don't want to date you.
Everyone just convinced me
this was a good idea.
Oh, thank goodness! I only went along
because I didn't want to hurt you.
Also 'cause my mom forced me.
Ha! parents, am I right?
What do you say we ditch this thing
and go watch some fireflies?
They're in season.
- After you, friend.
- Why, thank you, friend.
Ooh-la-la. The little love does
the sneaking out into the woods.
You know what that means.
It means they're abandoning the ritual!
If those two don't finish that dance
Then this courtship will be ruined!
Along with my financial security!
Wait, what? We cannot
let them waste this chance.
They say nine out of ten people
stay up at night
regretting missed romantic
opportunities. Nine out of ten!
Come on, gang. Let's get
this merger back on track.
Uh, counterpoint.
Why don't we just leave them alone?
- Ridiculous.
- Not a chance.
I'm way too invested right now.
Wow.
Man, this is way better than that
stuffy old dance. Right, Ivy?
Ivy? Ivy?
Ambush!
Oh, no, you don't.
Come back here! This'll be your grave!
That's, uh that's pretty dark.
Hmm. Where are those dang kids?
What's that?
- They're beautiful.
- Just look at them.
Love doves. Don't move or we're dead.
What? I thought they were all
romantic and mate for life.
Yeah, and they spend that life
massacring all living things.
Beautiful.
Hey, purple ones.
Oh, yeah, those are babies.
I read that they're purple
so the moms can find them
if they get lost.
What? That's adorable.
I know, right?
Bleh.
What the
That sounded like
Our families! We gotta help them!
Way ahead of you. Come on, let's go!
We're stuck.
Uh, so they're not gonna eat us?
Not right away.
Love doves prefer to let their prey
marinate in fear first.
Can it, Plantar.
This is all your fault.
If you taught your grandson
proper courtship technique
My fault? It's obviously yours.
Guys, it says here that our
relationships define us,
and nothing else. Nothing else!
Enough!
It's all your faults.
- Say what?
- Impossible.
Zip it! The only reason
we're here marinating
is because you all had to play matchmaker.
You two were greedy, plain and simple.
- Maybe a little.
- It's nuanced.
Nice. Totally innocent for once.
You two should be ashamed.
Are you kidding?
Sprig only went through with this
because of you and this dumb magazine!
Wow. I feel lighter somehow,
more free.
Hey!
We're here to rescue you.
Oh, thank frog.
We're also here to tell you we don't want
to date each other and we never will.
We know. Polly set us straight.
Look, kids, we
Sprig, I'm so sorry.
I always told them save the heartfelt
apologies for when we get to safety.
Don't worry, guys.
Sprig and I are ready for combat.
- Right?
- Right.
On the count of three.
One, two
- Sprig?
- Ambush! Haha!
Take that, you beautiful creature!
Nice ambush.
Well, I learned from the best.
Now let's finish this up.
Amazing. Even in defeat, they're majestic.
Come along now Ivy let's get you home,
so I can apologize safely.
Okay. That was fun.
- See ya, Sprig!
- See ya, Ivy!
Sprig, next time we won't
get the courtship kit out
until you're good and ready.
Now, I can focus on finding love
for Polly.
No!
Well, that's the end of that.
Now you and Ivy can go back
to being just friends.
Yup!
Oh, you just fell in love
with here, didn't you?
Yeah, I just fell in love with her.
Blech. Hands are feeling dry.
That will not do.
Lotion, lotion.
Did I get zapped here with any lotion?
Oh, hey. What's this?
Oh, my gosh.
Guys! I brought a bath bomb from home
and didn't even know it!
Oh, yeah!
Man, I can't wait to try this baby out.
You guys going somewhere?
Yep. The three of us are going
to camp Flemington.
Gonna rough it outdoors and get filthy!
Wait, without me?
Sure are.
When we Plantars camp, we camp hard.
No sense in you coming
with us and being miserable.
You know you hate dirt,
bugs, rocks and nature.
You're soft, Anne, like a baby.
Really, you should be glad
you're not one of us.
That's ridiculous. Me, soft? Pfft!
Just because I'm not a Plantar
doesn't mean
I can't have a good time with you guys.
Take me with you. Please, please, please?
Are you sure? I wasn't kidding
when I said "rough."
And I wasn't kidding
when I said you were soft.
Super-sure.
Aw, come on, guys.
If Anne says she can handle it,
she can handle it.
Well, all right, kid. Hop on.
Psst. hey, since you're coming with us,
we gotta lather you up with this gunk.
Only way to keep the ticks away.
Here we go.
Ahh. And back around.
Ooh. Looks like I missed a spot.
Totally not regretting this.
Yeah!
Easy does it, easy does it.
I can't wait to tell scary stories.
The more teen frogs running
from deranged psychopaths, the better.
I'm just happy to get off the farm.
So much fresh air, and it's all mine.
I personally love the peace and quiet.
A frog can really hear
themselves think out here.
Did you leave
the stove on? The front door unlocked?
Will you die alone?
Well, that was a mistake.
You sure you want to stay, Anne?
You can take Bessie
and go home if you need to.
Hey, hey, hey! Here's an idea.
How about we stop questioning my decisions
and get to camping together already?
- Who's with me?
- Yeah!
- Good idea!
- Yeah, that sounds good.
Come on, kids,
Throw some dirt on it! Here's some water!
Get it off!
No, no, no!
Get it off! Get it off!
Whoa! No, no, no!
No, no, no!
Ow! Careful!
I'm pretty sure those ticks
caused internal damage.
So, awkward question,
but are you sure you wouldn't
be happier back home?
Seriously, Anne, no need
to torture yourself.
Take Bessie and go home.
And don't you worry about us,
because we'll be just fine without you.
Without you.
No! Look, I know it seems
like I'm miserable, okay?
But I'm not. It's just it's just, uh
I'm not used to such easy camping.
Easy?
Look around you.
Singing, butterflies, laughter.
I guess I'm just used to something
a little more extreme.
So, this place
ain't extreme enough for ya?
Uh, dang right it ain't.
I can take you folks to a real campsite.
One where there ain't
none of this kiddie stuff,
like shelter or potable water. Blech.
Well, would a more extreme
experience make you happy, Anne?
Uh, yeah?
If Anne wants hard-core, we go hard-core.
Lead the way, Mr., uh
Name's Joe. Soggy Joe.
Yeesh. Could you like turn down the creep.
Just a bit?
No!
We're here.
We bunk here for the night.
And in the morning,
if we're still alive
I'll take you all out to the pancakes.
- Oh, that sounds great.
- I do like pancakes.
Want to hear a tale?
- Uh
- I'm good.
Hard pass, old man.
Oh, me! I love scary stories.
Gather 'round
and hear ye the tale of the mud men.
Born in the bowels of the bog itself,
the mud creatures stalk the inky night,
lusting to devour any frogs
that might have wandered
into their domain.
Ten bucks says he doesn't come back up.
Just like us!
Ah, yes.
The mud men only fear two things,
daylight and being clean.
Holy honey thistle!
What? What is it, Joe?
Nature calls. Be right back.
Is this extreme enough?
What? No. I am loving this.
Oh, hey Sogman everything okay?
Don't worry. Good thing
I brought my copper matches.
It's the mud men!
They're real!
And they're here for our delicious souls!
Oh, man, this is all my fault.
Everyone, grab a torch!
Back away!
Really wish we had some sunlight
right about now.
Or heck, cleaning products.
I have something even better.
Everyone, take cover!
Peony Princess bath bomb!
Good-bye, dear friend.
Well, guess we're dead.
The jig is up, boys!
Quickly, before she throws
another one of those things!
Man, all I wanted to do today
was get muddy and eat people.
I can see your butt!
Guess we were wrong to doubt you Anne
you really are used to extreme camping.
Guys, I have a confession.
This extreme camping stuff is nonsense.
I was miserable back there.
I was just trying to cover it up.
So you dragged us to this horror
show for no reason?
Twisted. I love it.
I don't understand. Why lie about it?
Why be miserable?
I guess I've been feeling
kind of left out lately.
I'm not a frog.
I'm not a Plantar.
Heck, I wasn't even invited on this trip.
I really like you guys
and wanted to be with you,
miserable or not.
I don't know
if it's the sweet-smelling toxins
or the overwhelming emotions,
but dang it, I'm a mess.
Next time, we'll include you, Anne,
Even if we know you'll hate it.
Thanks, you guys. Aah!
Ooh-wee!
Good thing I wore my axe-proof vest, eh?
So, what'd I miss?
- Oh, pretty much everything.
- Really?
Oh, Joe,
- There were these crazy cannibals.
- Wow.
- They tried to eat us.
- Oh, serious?
Yeah, actually, it turned out
they were just frogs.
- Oh, no way.
- Wimpy little frogs covered in mud.
- Unbelievable.
- And then we ran,
we tried to use torches,
- it was all a big thing.
- Yeah?
- It was very dramatic.
- Oh? Keep going.
Anne saved us with her bath bomb.
Yeah, I smell it.
It's great. Is that peony?
- Yeah, that is peony.
- Yeah, I have a nose for these things.
So, that's pretty much it.
You're all caught up.
Oh, great.
So, you all want to get pancakes early?
- Oh, yeah, that sounds great.
- Let's do it.
I've always been more
of a waffle girl, myself.
Guys, now that we've been through a lot,
there's something
I'd like to share with you.
This is how I got here.
Wow. Shiny.
It's some kind of crazy
music box or something.
Have you guys seen
anything like it before?
- May I?
- Sure. I mean, it's busted.
Nope. Never seen anything like it.
Well, it was worth a shot.
Anne, I promise,
we're gonna find a way to get you home.
Thanks, Sprig. That means a lot to me.
Well, that's enough excitement
for me today.
I think I'm gonna turn in.
- Good night.
- Good night, Hop Pop.
It's just as I feared.