Ashes To Ashes s01e07 Episode Script

Episode 7

This is like I'm dying.
When the brain dies, it tries to make connections for seven minutes.
My body temperature's dropping.
Technically, I could be dead already.
I think I had a dream about you.
No, that's good, it's good.
I've bloody dreamt about doing this.
I'll see you see you later.
Well, tomorrow probably.
- Sometime.
Whenever.
- See you tomorrow.
Been in the wars, have we, sir? Oh, dear.
It certainly looks like a nasty one.
What the bloody hell? CID were quickly on the scene, where Gil Hollis was only just regaining consciousness.
Looks like we won't be watching the match today, boys.
We've got a robbery to solve.
Move over, Lewis Collins, eh? - It doesn't look anything like me! - You're better looking than him.
Gently, Jim.
Gentle.
I don't even wear jewellery! Of course, you will know Gil Hollis as the man in the tub, one of our most popular fundraisers.
Lovely.
Thanks very much.
Just remind me, whose idea was it to run an appeal on Police 5? In fact, he toured the whole of Britain with his tub, raising money for the children of Africa.
Oh, thanks very much.
Brilliant! He eventually finished up with £20, 000.
Here he is on Children In Need, together with his own son, Adam.
Well, I'd raised all this money for charity around the country.
And, um I'd collected it, and I'd put it in me rucksack.
I was on my way to the bank with it.
There was a man and a woman and they were wearing masks.
Get out! Get out! And they shot me.
I was actually shot! I was unconscious until the police found me.
The robbery took them just 30 seconds to commit, and then they made their getaway, leaving Gil Hollis for dead.
Something dreadful IS going to happen.
I'm going to take someone.
Who? Who is it? Who is it? Is it one of them?! Is it CID?! Who is it?! Who?! Who's going to die?! I just wish I could have remembered more, you know, for the police.
But I do remember those tracksuits.
This was a brutal and callous attack, and the police need your help to catch this couple before they strike again.
Till then keep 'em peeled.
My name is Alex Drake.
I've just been shot and that bullet has taken me back to 1981.
I may be one second away from life, or one second away from death.
All I know is that I have to keep fighting.
Fight to live, fight to see my daughter.
Fight to get home.
CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME Broad bloody daylight and nobody sees or hears anything.
You said a telly appearance would get results.
- Well, it works on Crimewatch.
- What watch? Don't fret, I got it taped on Betamax.
Run off some copies, Chris.
My mum'd love to see it.
- We're not gonna bother with that.
- That man lost everything.
We're under pressure to solve this quick because apparently Hollis is Britain's answer to Mother Theresa! Chris, give me a note.
That bloke has raised a bomb for black kiddies.
The chief wants us to show public compassion.
One from me.
One from you.
Well, come on! Show compassion NOW! They'd better not do these telethons too often or I'll be skint! Nah, people aren't gonna do this daft rubbish every year, are they? Saw you on the telly last night, Carling.
It wasn't me.
I don't look like Did you see that bloke's gut?! I only had half an eye on it, mate, but I thought it was all of you.
I don't look like Eddie Yeats, OK? Where is this leak coming from? Not from the bath, it ain't plumbed in! Anyway, I can't see no leak.
Do you like it? Found it on the chair this morning.
You could use it as a paperweight.
Thanks, Shaz.
£20, 000 raised in an old tin tub, and then this happens.
- It's enough to make you weep.
- Ah, tell me about it, Terry.
So, Gil, thoughts are with you, and on a wing and a prayer, this one's for you.
Whatever next? Ed "Stewpot" Stewart talking about GBH on Junior Choice? You were right.
We have to crack this.
I have to.
It's part of being in control.
They shot him, Bols.
They're ruthless.
If we don't stop 'em, somebody's gonna wind up dead.
Yeah, they are.
But I wouldn't let that happen.
I have to prove to my subconscious that I am its master.
And that is how I'll get home.
Home? Thinking of leaving? Well, this was only ever temporary.
Ah, right.
Had enough of us? Well, I didn't mean that exactly.
Excuse me.
Here's a thought, and, er, well, it is only a thought but, um tonight, somewhere posh.
Trout and almonds.
My shout.
Just you and me.
If you don't want to, well, stuff it I prefer Dover sole.
You want sole? I can give you sole.
Great, OK.
Right.
Wear something slutty.
Jimmy, chase up the dabs from forensics.
Chris, Datsuns, check for any last-minute resprays.
Raymondo, pull in all our regular snouts.
All over it like red dots on a tart's mini.
Guv, I think Gil Hollis knows more than he remembers.
The bloke's a kindly twat.
Victims are crap.
They shit themselves and forget everything.
I'll walk Gil through the crime scene.
Try and provoke an associated memory.
Psychology.
Hmm.
Right, boys and girls, you know what you're doing? I'm going to do a bit of mind-reading with Uri Geller here! Keep 'em peeled.
Who's it gonna be? Ding dong! Avon calling.
You were miles away.
Keep 'em peeled.
Who is it going to be? Oh, Hunt.
Saw your chaps on P5.
It wasn't actually us, sir.
It certainly wasn't my idea.
Pity, because it's a splendid notion.
Police and public sharing collective responsibility.
Very modern Awful business.
Amazing man.
Separated from his wife and child all those months.
Can you imagine sitting out in a bath tub in Carlisle? He shames us all, sir.
The TV personalities are showing their support.
I think that sort of thing is more inclined to hinder rather than help.
Yes, well, I've been asked to pass on a rather large donation from a golfing partner of mine.
It's Sid Little.
He's a close friend.
Ah, our very own Juliet Bravo.
Or is it Jill Gascoine? The Gentle Touch.
Trying, sir.
DCI Hunt and I are just off to practise a little psychology on Gil Hollis.
Ah, I'm glad to see you're dragging this lummox into the 1980s.
I shall look forward to giving Sid some good news.
That's Sid Little.
He's a close friend.
D'you know, I wish you were Jill Gascoine.
And I wish you were Sid Little.
OK, breathe in and out.
Just take your time.
It's all just a blur.
It's just a blur, really.
It was over in a flash.
It all happened so quick Let's not worry about specifics.
Let the images wash over you.
All I remember is they had balaclavas with hoods.
So these hoodies, what Hoodies?! They're blaggers, not characters from Watch With Mother! So, you got out of the car.
What did they say? Er er, they were shouting stuff.
I don't know.
They just shot me and I blacked out.
OK.
Well, the mind's an amazing organ.
I've got an amazing organ.
It's capable of more than you'd imagine.
- Right again.
- So, the car? Yeah, a Datsun.
Yellow yellowish.
Brown.
I think the bullet I remember the bullet passing through me, and then I was falling OK, so you were shot and then you were falling? Yeah, and then it all went dark.
Is your sling uncomfortable, Gil? It's No.
It's got to be straight.
It's got to line up with my badges.
Whilst we are tripping the light fantastic of your mind, can you recaII anything else like the registration of the Datsun? - Or Allegro.
Maybe an Allegro.
- What?! You are joking! - I have got coppers looking - I'm trying to be useful! What about the tracksuits? Blue.
Yeah, blue or black.
- Er, bla They were a dark colour.
- Oh, give me strength! You're confusing him.
You'll cloud the memories.
Look Iook, I so much want you to catch them.
Everyone's given so much cash for Botswana and they entrusted it to me.
Gil, this is what we're going to do.
We are going to retrace your steps, OK? See if we can dislodge some hidden memories.
And after that we're gonna make a study of some sheep entrails, see what we can learn from them! Keep your breathing circular.
In through your nose and out through your mouth.
Nice and controlled.
Sun's out.
Um it's a bit it's bit overcast.
Um, I'm happy.
Er, car's handling badly cos I've got the bath strapped to the roof rack.
OK, just relax.
Stop! Stop the car! Stop the car! I want to get out! Stop the car! Let me get out, let me get out! - Let me get out! - OK, what is it? - What's wrong, Gil? - Sorry, sorry, it's He's turning into Al Jolson now.
Sorry.
Hang on, hang on Sorry, I've just got to Drake, what the bloody hell? Just give him a minute.
He's clearly OCD.
Hey, man! Where's your rub-a-dub? Eh? Where's your shampoo? Where's your bubble bath? Freak! Oi, you lot! Turn that racket down, otherwise I'm gonna pull you in and force you to listen to Val Doonican till you top yourselves! Go screw your police dog pig! Is the billboard one of your regular touchstones, Gil? - Why won't it line up? - This is turning into a circus, Drake.
- Let's get out of here.
- He's spiralling.
- We need get him focused.
- I can do that Oi! Those guys.
Always going on about me.
"Have you had a wash?" "Where's your bubble bath?" Stuff them.
What's it like being stuck in a bath for eight months? It's lonely, it's very lonely.
I bet you were the cleanest bloke in the country, though.
Well, that was blunt but surprisingly effective.
That's me all over.
Gil collects his charity funds, he drives from his home along Marple Street.
Before any of you ask, the pink wafer represents his bathtub.
- That was a Ford estate.
- Dinky don't make them.
He drives past the billboard, into Crate Lane, not realising the roadworks were blocking the road off.
The blaggers, meanwhile force him off the road right there.
Do they not make Allegros? - Dinky don't make Datsuns either.
- Do they not? Would you shut up! Blag occurs.
"Gimme your money!" Boom! The scumbag shits jump back in the getaway car and race along Crate Lane, screaming into Marple Street here.
And this is where the trail goes as cold as a polar bear's knackers.
That's an unusual MO, a male and a female.
Yeah, a bird doing blags.
That's very disturbing.
Do you think she wears heels or comfortable shoes? I propose, given your reaction to the gender balance, that this is their first job.
New kids on the block? Now, that is a good name for a boy band.
Chris, take that.
List of dodgy car dealers, East 17.
- Right, backstreet boys.
- Let's get 'em busted.
Oh, God, I'm going to scream.
Um No, I'm not because I'm in control.
I think this pair are still in the area.
They'll be giddy on adrenaline.
Bonnie and Clyde syndrome.
What, syndromes are named after films? They might start making mistakes because they think they can run rings around us.
- Road Runner syndrome.
- Meep-meep! OK, OK.
Good.
In control.
Now, none of you will die unless I choose to kill you.
It's creepy in here.
You should try being in here with DCI Hunt! Now, I know that you know more than you think you do, Gil.
OK.
So I'd like you to close your eyes and breathe.
I can't see anything.
That's perceptive.
No, I mean I can't recall nothing new.
I want you to picture an orchard brimming with apples.
Sweet smell.
The end of summer.
There.
Now, what can you see? I'm picking windfalls with my son, little Adam.
That's great.
That's great.
I want you to make it crystal clear in your mind's eye.
Adam's laughing.
I'd forgotten how much he laughs.
I've been away too long.
Drop your head and open your eyes.
We've just given your memory a bath.
I've had it with baths.
Her eyes - Whose eyes? The woman who robbed you? - She was looking at me.
Sort of holding me attention.
And then he pulled the trigger.
Then I was falling into darkness, and it was cold.
It was cold so cold.
And you feel it, and it feels like this.
It's like there's worms inside you.
She was looking at me, the woman.
It was her eyes, I remember that now.
It was dark eyes under her hood, looking into me.
Adam! Hello, mate! How are you? Nice to see you.
I've checked, ma'am.
All the old crime reports are down here now.
I'm just trying to cross-reference a few IDs.
Dark eyes? Yeah, that's right.
The eyes have it.
"Diligence is the mother of good fortune.
" Don Quixote.
It was an answer on University Challenge.
It's funny what you remember, innit? Do you read, Shaz? Not really.
You can get everything off the telly.
My dad used to read to us when we were little.
Yeah, so did mine.
The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe every night for a week.
It was fantastic.
Did he put on all the voices an' that? And every night he'd finish on a cliffhanger and then he'd say He'd say, "Until tomorrow.
" He sounds lovely.
You need to get on.
You don't need some glorified typist disturbing you, eh? You are conscientious and you've got a great outlook on life.
Listen to me, talking to you like you're actually Actually what? You know, women like you are so important in the force.
You're the future.
Fab.
Keep 'em peeled.
Gil Hollis is our only witness and, quite frankly, I've had custard with more consistency.
Plus the fact he can't drive past a billboard without stopping to do a hot shoe shuffle! Gil has a condition - OCD.
- Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark? - Obsessive compulsive disorder.
I am done with psychiatry.
Look at me OK, all right.
Happy Alex.
I'm in-control Alex.
Now, we have to reach into the neighbourhood, into the community, and I am loathe to suggest it, but what about a personal television appeal? The goggle box is no place to police crime.
If we showed the public and the Chief that we're progressive Not happening, Bolly.
End of.
Hey, look.
You're joking! Roger DeCourcey! You don't think he's here now, do you? Go easy, love.
I'm investigating a robbery, not auditioning for Hello Dolly.
OK, I've made notes.
- You need priming.
- I know what I want to say.
You're not dressing down a few beer-breaths in the coppers' canteen.
You're facing three million people.
Three million? What are you doing to my hair, you TV Mary?! Get off! - It wasn't, was it? - It was.
Because of the charity connection, you could appeal to members of the criminal community.
Members of the criminal community? We're talking about villains, Drake, not the bloody Waltons! Guv, you can move directly into the consciences of people.
That is what television can do.
No, that's what Songs Of Praise can do.
Me, I'm here to catch crooks.
Hey, guv, break your neck.
"Break a leg," Chris.
So, stay calm Roger DeCourcey.
And Nookie the Bear.
Coming to air, and good luck, everyone.
Five, four, three, two, one, cue Shaw.
You all know Gil Hollis as one of our most popular fundraisers.
His mission ended in violence and robbery.
This was a brutal and callous attack and the police need your help to catch this couple before they strike again.
Did you happen to see a couple in Fenchurch that afternoon? A man and a woman.
Things that might have caught your eye - they were wearing tracksuits with the hoods up.
Now, who would wear a tracksuit with the hood up? That could have been odd.
Think about that.
Well, with me is the man in charge, Detective Chief Inspector Gene Hunt.
No luck so far? Er, we're still in the process of conducting an exhausting invest Oh, hang on.
Er, exhaustive investigation.
And we're certain we're gonna have a breakthrough soon.
Is he all right? He looks like he's been on cut-price vindaloo.
may still be at large in the area because of, um Well, it's Bonnie and Clyde syndrome.
We urge anyone with You can't just leave that hanging! You have to elucidate! So if you're protecting a member of your family, then, er then you can phone us.
Um, Fenchurch East Police Station.
That's where we are.
And, um above all, don't have nightmares.
No, DO have nightmares! These are scum, they're still at large and we need to nail these bastards! A heartfelt plea there from the man in charge of the investigation.
That's it for today.
Until we meet again - Keep 'em peeled.
- Sorry about saying "bastards".
Bollocks.
Thank you, studio.
Is that what you wanted? I could do with a bloody drink.
Yes It's for you.
Hello.
You saw it, sir No, hang about.
I mean If I could j I didn't mean for it to sound ineffectual.
As you know, that's not me.
No.
Progressive, I think you'll find.
Yes, sir.
Thank you, sir.
Goodbye.
"Pathetic".
Super's words.
This was your idea.
I did this for you.
Happy now? Gene.
You know what, love? In the old days, no-one would clean my office.
Not for weeks.
Oh, yeah, love? Yeah, the very walls would be running with scotch and fag smoke.
I was left to it.
It was paradise.
I bet it was.
Will somebody turn that bloody ska music down? Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on The blaggers had to come back this way past the ska boys.
- Evening all.
- Hey, Mr Hunt.
"Keep 'em peeled!" You know what? I did.
And it suddenly dawned on me that when the getaway car had to double back, you dickheads were loitering here.
Which means you're all eyewitnesses.
We saw nothing, man.
Yeah? Nick 'em.
Which ones? All of them.
Music to my ears.
Only the guilty need fear me, son.
Scum! Screw you, pig! What the hell's going on? What should have gone on in the first place.
They're witnesses.
You like this hat, do you? You'd better talk, otherwise I'll nail it to your skull! - He's in custody! - Blimey, guv.
Easy, eh? - The South made you go all soft? - Stop it, guv! Where do you think you are? Bolivia? You were on that street.
What did you see? Talk! I understand your frustration, but you are losing control.
I feel like I'm gaining it.
Come on! We was just messing with him.
He pulled up right by us.
He took this bag and he ran behind the billboard.
- What, the blaggers? - That bath guy, Hollis! Before he was robbed? So he took the cash behind the billboard? - What was he doing? - Dunno.
He was behind there for about five minutes.
Right, Ray.
Take a formal statement from laughing boy here.
You have to let the rest of them go.
Fine.
We're recalling Gil Hollis for questioning.
There's a discrepancy in his statement.
And you saw how he reacted at that billboard.
How many times? He's - OCD.
- OMD! No, no, he's OCD! Yes! He's been lying to us and playing me for the fool.
Don't tell me what to do! Look, I know I said I'd come in and help today, but you had a message to your front desk that my son's had an asthma attack, so I've got to go.
And his mother's worried.
We didn't realise.
We can do this another day.
Why did you go behind that billboard? What, on the way to the bank? To have a Jimmy Riddle.
I'm sorry, can we do this another day? Because Adam really is not well.
How come a load of ska boys on that road all saw you going for a dangle but never clock the getaway car ten minutes Iater? What are you looking at me like that for? So you parked up - and took the money with you? - Yeah! I'm not going to leave 20 grand in my car, am I? Look, those boys are thugs.
I saw one of them climb up and get in my bath.
That's not on.
They were trying to get in the car, and they were looking for me bubble bath.
What more can you tell us about this getaway car? You know, the Datsun, or was it maybe an Allegro? - You know, the yellow one or brown? - He was shot.
I was literally shot! So what? I've been shot.
Loads of folk get shot.
He wasn't that shot.
He passed out.
How could he possibly remember anything? - It was over in seconds.
- Why when we walked you on your journey, did you fail to mention that you stopped right in front of the billboard? Why was that spot so bothering you? Look, if you must know it's about my peeing habits.
I have to do it a certain way.
And I have to count, and I've got a system.
And that's just the way it is.
I had to stop in front of the billboard cos I remembered that I hadn't touched it after I'd been.
I'm sure Mr Hollis didn't think that his renal habits would benefit the case.
Look, I really want to help you with every fibre of my body.
For those kids, those dying kids in Africa.
What, you caught a glimpse of this woman's face under her hood? Not her hair or anything.
Just her eyes, cos of the balaclava.
Her eyes, those eyes.
DI Drake helped me remember those eyes.
Right, Bolly, let's round up those dodgy birds on your list.
We looked behind the billboard.
The ground hasn't been disturbed.
Just take your time.
- Are you sure? - Yeah, positive, 100%.
That's her.
That's the one.
Where are you taking me? I've got to go home.
Adam needs me.
Yeah, I bet he does.
Well, well, well - What are you doing? - You're making this up, Gil.
Nothing you have told us adds up and I'm beginning to lose my patience! My things! They need to be in a certain order! I wanna go home! - You can't treat him like this! - You can't! - What the hell are you doing?! - You've been lying to us.
No-one saw the getaway car.
They only saw you! I stopped the car.
The robbers, they shouted something, then I opened the door.
And then the gun went off.
And then that was it.
I'm not a brave man, Mr Hunt.
I'm not a hard man either.
I'm sorry if I'm not good enough for you.
He was shot! Where's the gun? Where's the evidence? Evidence can always be found to back up my instinct.
We're not going down this path! Right, take him down the cells.
He can decide what he wants to say next.
You can't let him do this, DI Drake! What are you doing? Get off me! DI Drake, I want to go home! I want to see me family! I'm dying here! You're going to ruin this for me, you stupid, pig-headed bastard! I've been poncing about on the telly for you, saying things that I didn't even understand.
You believe that I am going to sell my professional gut instinct down the river just so's that you can feel good about yourself? Forget it! No I won't let you.
CID detained people illegally last night.
DCI Hunt used physical violence and now he's holding Gil Hollis in custody without caution.
Gil has a medical condition and I'm worried he'll hurt himself.
I'm just wondering how to regain control of this investigation.
If I don't, then I believe somebody's going to die.
Report Hunt to your superiors.
Have him removed.
I don't want to wade in too hard.
I feel like such a Judas, and besides there are still forensic leads to follow.
If I carry on with my own investigation He'll undermine it.
Report Hunt.
Get your control back.
I can help you.
I'm on your side.
Sir, with respect, there was No, sir.
Thank you, sir.
Tell me I am having a bad dream.
No, that's me.
Gil Hollis is now under the representation of Caroline Price.
You detained him based upon a witness statement which was illegally obtained through inducement.
- Hold your bloody horses! - I haven't finished.
Contrary to the rules, you held him without access to a telephone call or a solicitor.
You also failed to caution him.
I'm sorry you can't quite do that.
- You're making a big mist - One last thing.
You implied that you were prepared to manufacture evidence to secure a conviction, and I quote, "Evidence can always be found to back up my instincts.
" Now, that is a biggie.
This is just like the good old days.
This is none too healthy, Chief Inspector.
The Manc Lion.
I knew one day you'd ask to have this lion shaved, DI Drake.
You bitch! Watch your mouth, Sergeant.
You're talking to a DI.
What are you waiting for? Christmas? Take him to the car.
We'll meet again, Gil.
Don't know where, don't know when.
But I know we'll meet again some sunny day.
I'll be back for me bathtub.
You see, Alex, this lion, this lion they all fear, why, he's nothing but a big pussycat.
You've got what you want.
Will you please just leave.
Please.
DCI Hunt, shall we step into your office? Why sir? So's that I can step straight back out again? I take it I'm suspended.
Oh, no, you're on leave.
You're over-stressed.
A holiday will do you the world.
D'you know, I might visit Bognor.
There's a cats' home in Bognor.
I know you hate me, but I have to do this, all right? It's important.
I have to be in control.
Oh, I suppose I'm not.
There was me thinking we were beginning to get along.
I can't tell you everything.
Maybe if you had a child, you'd understand.
How do you know I don't have children? - What?! - Here! You want my job, have my stuff! Oh, no, no, no.
I am not going down that path! The righteous anger.
Me feeling guilty.
You, you are a fictitious construct bemoaning his fictitious fate.
And I am fighting for my life, Gene! Yes, I am! I am so tired.
D'you know what? We all are, love! Shall we postpone dinner? And then he goes, "Ooh, Miss Jones, Miss Jones" DC Skelton, forensic report from the car? Yeah, it's in.
No dabs.
Firearms residue on the driver's side.
The man was shot.
Anything else? The blood in the car was A pos.
- Hollis is A positive.
- Well done, Quincy.
Quincy is a pathologist.
Well, so are you.
No, Ray, she's a psychiatrist.
Psychologist.
Yeah, just like Quincy.
Additional statements, ma'am, like you asked for.
Thanks, Shaz.
Would you mind? Are we still going out tonight? - Yeah.
Pictures.
- I want something romantic.
Friday The 13th, Part 2.
Is it romantic? - Well, it's set by a lake.
- Fab.
DCI Hunt may be on leave, but I would like you all to keep him in the loop, please.
Just to let you know, ma'am, if you were a bloke, I'd be knocking ten bells out of you.
Bells? Bells.
Oh, Rigsby! Ooh, Miss Jones, Miss Jones - God, you're so '80s.
- What?! The touch of your hand and this music.
I think I might be losing my mind.
Which is ironic, really, as I'm in my own mind.
Have we met before, Alex? I mean don't you think it feels like we have? We have.
We have met before.
In another life.
A past life? Woo, it's not what I was thinking, but it's an interesting idea.
- Just forget it.
- Who were we? Well I was in distress and you rode to my rescue.
Ah, the damsel and the shining knight, of course.
But then again, I'm no Lancelot, and you're no damsel in distress.
I was scared.
And I was so alone and you took my hand and, through all the pain and the fear I felt that my world wasn't over.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
But the crazy thing is, I believe you, Alex.
Why? Why are you in my head? I don't know.
No, not you.
Gene Hunt actually.
Is he? Well, um it's getting late, so I'm going to head off.
Ciao.
Ciao.
And you know, it was the culmination of all the hard work Is that for my mum? Aw, baby.
Guv! Guv? You sure this is a good idea? Well, with all the excitement, I missed something vital.
Well, I am on leave.
Right, you lot.
Let Bolly-kecks do her job.
She's a scheming cow but we need to nail this bastard.
Here, guv, do you want one of these? I'm running one off.
This was a brutal attack, and the police need your help Hang on, hang on.
Go back a little bit.
Freeze it there.
What is it? Look.
This looks like dried blood under those plastic sucker things.
How did it get under this toy afte ne was shot? Hollis must have put it back up.
He hates mess.
OCD an' that.
Yeah, but he told us he blacked out straight away.
You see, nothing adds up with this bastard.
Show this to DI Drake.
It's her investigation now.
As for moi, I will be trying out a new steak and chips pizza in Luigi's.
Not of to Bognor, then? Oh, bugger Bognor.
Thieves of Children In Need money are still at large.
Probably still thinking of themselves as human beings.
Police say that there were two of you, two low lives.
How do they sleep? How can they look at themselves in the mirror in the morning? So, the Garfield fell off the window and, having OCD, Gil had to put it back on.
Hollis was adamant - he opened the car door, he was shot, he blacked out.
Well, he might have had memory loss.
What's that smell? Don't look at me.
I know that smell from somewhere.
Glastonbury, 1992.
Yes, 1992.
Get over it.
Ammonia.
There were chemical toilets at the crime scene.
- What are you on about? - Ray, Chris, come with me.
Chris, we got a date, remember? We're going out.
Come along with me now.
We can fight crime together.
- McMillan And Wife.
- More like BJ And The Bear.
He couldn't of got it down the toilet bowl, surely.
It's too big.
I have that problem meself sometimes.
Sergeant stick your hand down there, please.
DC Skelton, stick your hand in there.
- WPC - On yer bike, McMillan.
Gil must have hidden the cash first.
Then he parked up in Crate Lane near a noisy building site where nobody could see or hear him, shot himself in the arm and then hid the gun down the Portaloo.
Thing is, when he'd gone for a pee earlier, the ska boys messed with his car as a wind-up.
It was only after he'd shot himself he realised the Garfield had come off.
So he put it back up.
He had to.
He couldn't leave it down, not with his OCD.
Then he made up a vague story to keep us off the scent.
Yeah, and then, after that, he We've sort of come to the end of it, haven't we? It's it's Gil Hollis.
What is this? Scooby Doo? We solved this with forensics, not violence.
May I remind you that we only pulled in Gil Hollis because of a statement by one of the ska boys that I dragged in, based on a hunch.
Forensics, video, a bit of rough and tumble, and good old-fashioned copper's nouse.
- Where is he? - Done a runner.
Nobody at home at all.
Wogan will be pleased.
You pesky kids, solve-a the crime? Yes, Luigi.
Unlike your pizza, which is inedible.
- You go now? - I go now.
Ah, grazie.
Buona sera.
Grazie.
Grassy-arse, Luigi.
Grassy-arse.
We need to charge Hollis.
You can do that.
I'm on leave.
Are you waiting for a grovelling apology to serve your wounded male ego? If you care to drop to your knees in front of me, I will not object.
Cheers.
Get in! Quick! Get back.
We're under attack! What d'you mean, "attack"? They shoot up my place? Bloody bastards! It's stopped.
Chris, give us a gun.
Oh, shit, I must have left it in the car.
Hunt! Hunt, come out and face me! What a surprise.
It's that lovely lad who does the charity work.
Get off me, then! Hunt, you bastard, come out and face me! Come on, come and face me or I'll come in and kill everyone.
Why didn't he take his money and get out? He must know uniform will be here any minute.
Hunt, come out! Come and face me, you bastard! Bugger this.
I'm going out there.
No! You can't go out there! Somebody is going to die.
I am not dying in a trattoria! Hunt! Right, ten seconds! Ten nine eight Gil Gil, if you kill this DCI in cold blood, it's life.
Yeah, well, that's what this is about, isn't it? Life.
Raising money for all them lives in Africa.
Eight months in a bath.
Lot of time to think.
Yeah, thinking about a bathtub filling up with notes when I'm struggling on shit wages with a family.
My wife hated me being away.
She didn't see the point.
She thought I cared more about the coloured kids than my own.
She left me.
And I'm a hero, am I? Eight months sitting in a bloody, fibreglass bath! What do I get? An empty house with a note pinned to the fridge.
Why do blokes holding guns always feel the need to tell us their life stories? Your missus cleared off because you spent more time in the bath than you did in her.
Boo-hoo! What about all them people you ripped off? Thought you'd console yourself with a luxury cruise, did you? Did you think you could buy them back Gil? Is that why you did it? Why is it, the more we try to take control of our lives, the more it goes wrong? Your son, Adam.
You miss him? I know how that feels.
If you pull that trigger, Gil, your son is lost to you.
He's lost.
Put the gun down.
Not because you're weak or or because he's won, but because you love your child.
Come on.
Come on, gently does it.
Hey, Chris! Get after him! - Shaz! - I'm on it, guv! Ray! Chris! No use now, is it? No use now.
Take it.
I've lost 'em, I've lost 'em.
All of you, yeah.
Who cares? Take it.
You can take it.
Choke on it! All of you! It's no good now, is it? Who cares? Who cares? I've lost it.
Take it all! I don't want it.
I don't need it.
I've lost me family.
Take it! Take it all! Police! Stop there! That's why he panicked here.
He knew the cash was hidden behind the billboard and it triggered the OCD.
I'm hurt.
It's not bad Shaz? I think I've been a bit stabbed.
- Shaz, don't talk, Shaz.
- I got him, didn't I, ma'am? I'm not just a typist.
No, no, no, no, no.
You! Call for an ambulance! Now! You OK, Shaz? She's gonna be OK? Come on.
Don't try and move.
It's just a flesh wound.
Yeah, yeah, I'm here.
I'm here.
Shaz, you're going to feel tired.
You'll want to shut your eyes and go to sleep.
But don't! Do not go to sleep, OK? I want my mum.
- Tell it to go away! - Who? - There's no-one there.
- I don't like clowns! Shaz! You have to fight him, OK? No matter how much it hurts, you have to fight him! Fight him! Come on, Shaz! Come on, fight him! Shaz, no! Come on.
Eight, nine, ten Fight him.
One, two, three, four, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
Come on, Shaz! I thought we were going out tonight.
Come on.
Come on, Shazzer.
You're my girl.
You've always been my girl.
Even before we spoke, I just knew it.
Don't leave me.
Come on, son.
No, she can't! She can't! Come on.
Come on, it's over.
Come on, Chris.
Come on.
He killed her, guv.
He killed her.
Guv! Get him on his knees.
Guv, he's cuffed.
- He's in custody.
- Not your problem, Viv.
Over there.
- Guv, he's cuffed! - She ran into me.
You're going to be sorry that you ran into us.
Cop killer! He's just a stupid clown.
Don't be afraid.
Just take a breath.
Guv, leave it! The man's in custody! Viv, enough! You can't leave the people who love you, Shaz.
Not for one stupid breath.
Come on! Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten Fight! Fight, Shaz! Enough.
Enough of this.
Enough.
Fight! Fight! That's it! And another! Come on! She's breathing! She's alive! Get her into the car! Come on.
I did it! I did it! I did it! I'm in control! What have you done? I'm taking you home.
Get off me! Gil.
That was a foolish, stupid thing you did.
But you didn't deserve that.
My son doesn't deserve what he has.
The kids in Africa don't deserve what they have.
It's all part of this meaningless crap called life.
Don't you worry about me, Alex.
I am nothing.
You just worry about yourself.
Get rid of him.
Is Mummy cross with you? You don't have to go away again, do you? We'll be together, darling, because what we have, it's as special and as magical as anything in this book.
Nothing will rip this family apart.
Story! "She stoops down "and she said in a quivering voice, "'Now, who has won?'" Not her.
The evil witch won't win.
- Narnia will be saved.
- I think you're right.
I think that no matter how bad things seem now, everything will be all right in Narnia for ever.
Alex, thank God you're OK.
- You weren't hurt, were you? - No.
No, he wanted to take a life, and I stopped him.
- I can win, Evan.
- Right.
Good good.
You're always there for me.
Give me a hug.
No-one died, and that means that I can save my mum and dad from dying, and that means that I can go home to you and to Molly.
Alex, just stop thinking so much.
Just for one night.
Until tomorrow.
Until tomorrow.
You wanted to see me, guv? He's, er he's a hell of a batsman, that Gordon Greenwich.
Good.
- You do know this is me apologising? - I thought so.
Yeah, I should've listened to you and, er I should never let Chris You had your reasons.
transcripts.
subtitle.
me.
uk A car bomb will go off tomorrow morning? Has anybody asked you about making a bomb? Lord Scarman, welcome to our little world.
He felt the need to wave his penis around on the upper deck on the upper deck of the 159, sir.
That man could close my kingdom down with one flourish of his poncy pen.
You're investigating a murder that hasn't happened yet? One more word, Mrs Fruit Cake, and I'll hang you out of the window by your knicker elastic! Whatever.
If I can save my parents, I can go home.
What's going on? There's enough beaver munchers without you two.

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