Betas (2013) s01e07 Episode Script
Strange Magic
1 (snoring) No.
No, Nash, you don't have to do everything.
I'm just I'm saying it would be a lot easier if you were actually here.
What? No.
Goddamn it, Nash.
Would you(sighs) A lot of late nights alone, Barrett.
New management style? Nah, we're taking shifts.
'Cause we're trying to push a big update.
Don't bullshit me.
I've got eyes.
Your team barely speaks.
When they do they're at each other's throats.
How far are you willing to go to get the band back together? As far as I have to.
Right answer.
Get your team here by 6:00 a.
m.
-What? -I'll have a car waiting.
I'm a broken man, I'm damaged goods Lock me in the basement with furnace soot -(horn honks insistently) -Not-bitch! You are not plain, you are not plain Let me whisper in your brain This sound can't be ignored, this sound can't be ignored It's insane, it's just insane People doing puzzles in their brain Hanging them up on the wall They're hanging them up on the wall Gentlemen welcome to "The Place.
" Wait.
Did you ride all the way from--? God no.
I have an airstrip a few miles up the road.
Thought I'd log a couple hours behind the stick, then burn some miles on the trail.
Where's the gangsta chick? -Paid gig in Oakland, sir.
-Her loss.
I imagine ya'll have questions.
This place has the answers.
"In every walk with nature one receives far more than he seeks.
" John Muir said that.
The "Body is a Wonderland," dude? No, the naturalist, you dipshit.
First, I need your tech.
Phones, fitbits, nano-pods, all of it.
Now.
Uh, I can't sleep without my white noise app.
I want you naked out here.
Open.
No walls.
No crutches.
Nothing between you and your authentic selves.
However hideous they may be.
Cough it up.
Now, sir, what exactly are your expectations? I want to make sure the team gets the most out of this.
Well, Barrett, I expect you to figure it the fuck out.
Everything you need to complete this challenge is inside that cabin.
Wait a second.
Challenge? A test.
An exercise.
A goddamn intervention.
Take your pick.
The point is, you'll either rise to the occasion or you won't.
How long are we supposed to be out here? When are you coming back? There is no back, only forward! Hey, wait.
All of our things are in the back! -(clamoring shouts) -Stop! Where are you? (sighs) Shoot! -Huh.
-Total shithole, bros.
(coughs) We seem to be short a bed.
-I'll take the floor.
-(sneezes) I have seasonal allergic rhinitis (sighs) and I left my Claritin in Mr.
Murchison's car.
See, it's no big deal, I just need them to breathe.
Great.
No fucking power.
(sighs) We have no heat, no power, and no way of communicating with the outside world.
No board games either.
Parcheesi would be clutch right now.
No food in the kitchen.
I did find a dead shrew.
And this.
Looks like a care package from The Murch.
"The truth you seek is inside.
" Hmm.
Well, this stuff is seriously rando.
Maybe Murch killed a drifter.
Really? No.
Damn it.
Hey, allow me.
I was a Webelos.
God, it's so fucking beautiful out here.
Reminds me of my off-the-grid days.
Yes.
This dirt is gorgeous.
What is with you? Everything is always glass half empty.
Oh, don't you attack me because you refuse to acknowledge that this weekend is a disaster.
Wha-- Come on.
Ah! Gosh dang it! I'm such a worthless idiot! Whoa.
Tranquilo, little man.
You've been hittin' the Dead Rising a little hard lately.
-When's the last time you slept? -I don't know.
A while.
-All right.
Well Want some beef jerky? -Yes, please.
TREY: Well, what was I supposed to do? Demo Day is three weeks away, and we're a mess.
The app is stagnant.
You think I don't know that? Well, it sure doesn't feel like it.
I seem to be the only one trying to fix BRB.
You're not fixing anything, OK? Demo Day wouldn't even be a problem -if you'd just accepted Michael's offer.
-(laughs) -Whoa.
An offer? -It was nothing.
Lau offered us more users.
50,000, minimum.
And, uh, we're not taking the offer because? Because it's not a real solution.
It's just juking the stats.
You can't just magic wand this away with a "Wire" reference, man.
50,000 users is pretty significant.
You can't keep ignoring me.
-I'm your co-founder.
-And I'm CEO! It's my job to make decisions on behalf of the team.
The team? (laughs) Hobbes is a mental deficient who we should've fired months ago.
And Mitchell hacked BRB leaving me to clean up his mess! Wait.
What? What do you mean Mitchell hacked BRB? He changed the code to match better with Mikki.
-You promised you wouldn't tell! -And neither of you told me?! Our launch almost went off the rails 'cause of you! I hunted down my ex-wife.
I punched some girl in the tit and became famous for it, and then I lit my cat on fucking fire! -Bro-bro, come on, man.
-No! Get outta my face, man! Nash is right.
We're not a team.
We're just a bunch of selfish assholes who deserve to die in these woods.
I can't believe I fucking rubbed your shoulders, man.
Disgusting.
(sighs) Mama, there's wolves in the house Mama, they won't make nice -Couldn't sleep? -Jesus, you scared me.
Sorry.
Had a nightmare that I was stuck in the woods without any technology.
Right.
-You crack the code yet? -(clears throat) What do you make of this? "Who's adventurous enough to want to go on that journey? "Do you realize when you go on that journey in order to get "to the destination you can never get to the destination? In the process, you must die.
" Well, it's either some O.
G.
hippie shit or a call to action.
Knowing Murch, probably both.
Also it's hard to know what "the destination" is when -You only have half a map.
Yeah.
-Yeah.
I mean, near as I can tell, we're here.
-But beyond that -What's up with these dog-eared pages? Uh, they're just forest facts.
There's a passage about spruce trees, a description of a lake.
Maybe it's the page numbers that matter, not the text.
Coordinates for the map, like a grid system.
OK.
Give me the numbers.
25, uh, 46 55, 72.
55, 72 "Who's adventurous enough to go on that journey?" That's gotta be it.
Well, whatever we're looking for should be right around here.
-I've been counting my steps.
-The whole time? 3,500.
That's 1.
7 miles, give or take.
And yet I've never seen you plug in to recharge.
Are you a solar-power model? A robot joke.
How original.
Robotic response.
(sighs) Man, I'd kill for my tunes right about now.
I just copped the new Freddie Gibbs tape.
Wasn't even halfway through listening to that joint, Murch was like, "Blaow!" Stuck us up for our tech, our necessities.
(sneezes) Oh, man.
I used to have terrible allergies, myself.
I used to get these, like, epic nosebleeds -in math class when I would -Stop talking, please.
Well, it's definitely the same tree.
So what? Do we chop it down? -Why would we do that? -I dunno, I thought firewood.
Guys, look.
I guess we dig.
Well, allow me.
-Oh.
-Oh, shit.
(grunts) Guys, we got box.
Holy shit.
Stewart Brand.
Jack Dorsey.
Elon Musk.
Fucking Murch.
MITCHELL: What? Oh.
Look at him.
Jesus, he looks like a little kid, right? Steve Jobs.
This is insane.
Every tech luminary of the last 30 years is here, standing in front of this tree.
Jackpot! Oh, that's what the tape was for.
Thanks, Captain Obvious.
Now the final coordinates -55, 72.
-55, 72.
It's six miles away.
We can make it in two hours.
You better make that eight.
Bottom of the box.
"The truth you seek is inside.
" Murch wasn't talking about beef jerky.
-He was talking about our minds.
-What are those? It's LSD.
Four tabs for four cool dudes.
You're dehydrated-- and possibly insane.
Those are pieces of tin foil.
Are you kidding me, man? Look at these photos! Every single one of these guys is an astral traveler.
Murch clearly wants us to join the ranks of the men who traveled before us, and this tree is our launching pad.
Yeah, and Phish are probably playing the next clearing over.
No one is dropping acid with you.
It's not your decision.
Maybe I want to.
Yeah.
Maybe Nash wants to.
Nash, remember what happened when we ate pot brownies? You thought you were blind.
You're my brother.
Good job.
Mitch? Mitchy Mitch? You ready to squeegee that third eye? Ah! I'm just not 100% about mixing my meds with acid.
I mean if I had my phone I could look it up on WebMD, but -It'll be fine.
-Yes.
Getting wasted in the woods is not gonna solve our problems.
HOBBES: Who's talking about getting wasted, man? We're not getting wasted.
We're thinking different, OK? You think George Murchison sent us here to eat S'mores and hike? No.
He's giving us all the red pill.
Join us in the Circle of the Real.
Trey isn't a joiner.
He likes to go it alone.
(laughs) Yeah! God, man.
Newfound respect for all three of you.
It's crazy.
Brothers.
Connect four.
All right, let's do this.
Everybody say "chromosome damage.
" -Chromosome damage.
-Don't say that.
Ride on that easy rider Flow like that Harlem River I run for you, I run for you I run for you, I run for you We're 60% water, right? You just added more you to you.
Oh, I can feel it all through my body.
Cell by cell.
-What would be amazing right about now is Mountain Dew.
-(scoffs) This isthis is literally mountain dew.
-(laughs) -Nice.
-(laughs) -(grunts) It's like holding a meteor shower.
What you're holding is time.
The end result of millions of years of geologic process.
That could be a mountain.
It could be an eagle.
It could be a manatee, because this was once the bottom of the ocean.
Why don't we look at dirt? It's all around us, and we never really look.
Good call.
Yeah, I'm seeing all sorts of crazy stuff, you guys, right now.
My mind is just blown from all the highness that we're doing.
Gentlemen, I believe we are dry of water.
Please do not suggest drinking our own urine again.
I think it's OK if you boil it first.
Not if it's straight from the source.
You're not peeing in my mouth, bro.
(laughs) Yo, dudes, there's something written on this map.
"Talk to Scarlet.
" Scarlet Wine.
Blood.
Sin.
Maybe it's an anagram.
"Call Task Otter" Uh "Altar Lock Test" "Tell Tacos Kart" "Elk Scrotal Tat"? Boom! That's gotta be it.
Guys Maybe we're looking for a guy with an elk tattooed on his balls, instead of an elk with a guy.
It may not even be an anagram, and even if it was There's over 3,400 possible word combinations.
(whispers): How does he do that? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Am I tripping, or is that a truck? You are, and it is.
An old, red truck.
In the middle -- Wait, wait, wait, wait-- -"Talk to Scarlet.
" -The truck is Scarlet.
(laughs) There's a cooler in the back.
-I fucking love The Murch, you guys! -(laughs) -(laughs) -Fuck.
Yes! I mean this ginger ale is crucial, fer sure, but driving this thing seems like a bad idea.
You gotta stop being such a pussy.
Wouldn't the Murch have left us keys if he wanted us to drive? It's another riddle for us to solve, man.
It's all part of the fun.
You remember that device we built freshman year, to hack the dorm vending machine? Our R.
A.
caught us and we paid him off with Kit Kats.
(laughing) Oh, that feels like so long ago.
(sighs) Why are we friends? What do you mean? If we hadn't been roommates, we wouldn't even be here right now.
We wouldn't even know each other.
It's just random chance.
You don't know that.
We had classes together.
Have you ever looked us up? On BRB? Yeah.
Sure.
42%.
It's a terrible match.
We got a "Call of Duty" sitch at twelve o'clock.
Interesting.
I think you might've been right about this truck, Mitch.
-What do we do? -Exit the vehicle slowly.
Guys, we're not alone.
Hey! What the hell are you doing?! It seems like they've been running forever.
-Totally.
-OK, dudes, here's the thing-- I'm not tripping.
I only pretended to dose, so this is actually happening! We're about to be taken and Liam Neeson is not coming to save us! -(screaming) -MAN: Hey! Get back here! Get back here! (grunts) Dude, why did you lie about dosing? You faked being high all day.
You violated our Circle Of Realness, dude.
You were pressuring me.
You know what? Forget it.
No.
When are you gonna stop caring what other people think of you man and just be yourself? -What are you afraid of? -I'm not afraid.
Yeah, you are.
You're afraid to tell Mikki you wanna hit that.
You were afraid to tell us that you fucked up BRB.
And you're clearly afraid to have this conversation right now.
Fine! You want me to be real? I'll step in the Circle.
Yes! Step into the fucking circle, man.
Pi "R" squared! You're the one that can't handle reality.
You're obsessed with your ex-wife, and you lied to us for months about being homeless.
You're a 35-year-old man who acts like a child, -and I'm done babysitting you.
-Oh, that how you see it? It's how everyone sees it! Everyone except for you! And if being "real" means ending up alone and angry, then maybe I don't wanna be real! Dude, don't fucking pre-cog me, man! You don't know what my future holds! When we first met on the boards, I could not believe you were I.
M.
'ing me.
-You were this hacker legend.
-You thought I was a legend? Yeah.
And now? I know you and you scare me.
That's what's real.
(sighs) Dude.
Come on, man.
You're the best, dude.
Thanks.
I gotta start letting go of some stuff, man.
You're like a little Buddha, dude (sniffs) -with great-smelling hair.
-OK, man.
It's cool.
-You smell good.
-Thanks.
-I really gotta take a whiz.
-All right.
Nash-tun Kutcher, what's up, dude? Mother Nature is talking.
Come listen to what she has to say.
Yeah.
(sighs) (birds twittering, bullfrogs croaking) Can you hear that, Hobbes? The forest is a symphony.
(sighs) Whoa.
Oh.
(imitating British narrator): Monarchs travel thousands of miles each year just to mate.
No single butterfly survives the round trip.
-That's so sad.
-No, man.
They're adventurers, just like us.
They cross the Atlantic Ocean, popping up in places like Bermuda just because they like the plants.
-(sighs) -That's it.
-That's how we fix it.
-Fix what? BRB.
Where's Trey? I have to tell Trey! (distant screeching) Who's there? Murch, is that you? I'm lost! Barrett.
You made it.
Where are your boys? -We got separated.
-I thought you were the leader.
I keep trying to show them the way, but They can't keep up.
Maybe you're moving too fast.
I don't understand any of this.
Why'd you bring me here? I brought you here to learn to listen.
To the trees.
To the dirt.
To your team.
Because somewhere along the line you started to believe that a leader moves through the world alone.
That you, and only you, know what's best.
But what about the men who came before? The men in the photos, they were all alone.
Really? Then who took the photos? -I've always felt alone.
-I know.
That's why we do what we do, people like us.
We build the future 'cause the present is too painful to bear.
What if I fail? What if I can't build that future? It will unfold anyway.
It always does.
That's the paradox-- the tighter that you hold on, the more slips through your fingers.
You have to surrender control.
I don't know anything anymore.
NASH: Trey! -(laughs) -We've been looking for you! (sighs) I missed you guys.
-We missed you, too.
(laughs) -Mitchy here traced your footsteps -like a mini Bear Grylls.
-Hobbes foraged some mushrooms.
We saved you some.
Yeah.
Didn't get to pee in anyone's mouth, though.
What's up with that desk? I'm not sure.
Um, do we have any idea how to get out of these woods? We're very close.
Thank God.
Lead the way.
Well, according to my calculations, our destination should be right here.
-(laughing) -Hey! Dude, pretend it's your birthday.
-We'll get free dessert.
-(laughs) -(sighs) -Wow.
Hey, you must be George's boys.
I've been expecting you.
Yo, the Murch just Keyser Soze'd the shit out of us.
(laughs) -Whoa.
-Yes.
(laughs) Bacon Ranch Quesadillas-- they're George's favorite.
Enjoy.
(moans) This is this is -literally the tastiest thing I've ever eaten.
-(laughs) Hey.
I had a vision in the woods.
I told Mitch and Hobbes about it.
We were kicking around ideas for BRB 2.
0.
Oh.
Really? You remember what I asked you in the truck? -About why we were friends.
-Yeah.
Sure.
Well, it made me sad at first, but later we were looking at these butterflies and Hobbes told me how they flock to meet here.
Like you and I flocked to Stanford.
I realized that it wasn't random-- the conditions were right for us to become friends.
-Starting with the location.
-HOBBES: Yeah.
So we figured, work backwards.
Pick a location, and then bring users there.
Sounds like you're talking about some pretty major changes.
(sighs) Which is exactly what we need.
We need to shake things up.
I've just been too stubborn to admit it.
Um, who's got the marker? Well, we should jam on this while it's still fresh, right? -You had it last, duder.
-Oh.
(laughing) And I've been travelin' I've been lost I've fucked around And like a heavy Mind unraveling Through open fields And prairie towns I got sick And I got sicker And I spent a month in bed Until the visions Came to me quicker I saw ghosts and I saw red Watch all episodes of Alpha House, -starring John Goodman.
-Oh, that'd be great.
Exclusively on Amazon Prime Instant Video.
Amazing.
No, Nash, you don't have to do everything.
I'm just I'm saying it would be a lot easier if you were actually here.
What? No.
Goddamn it, Nash.
Would you(sighs) A lot of late nights alone, Barrett.
New management style? Nah, we're taking shifts.
'Cause we're trying to push a big update.
Don't bullshit me.
I've got eyes.
Your team barely speaks.
When they do they're at each other's throats.
How far are you willing to go to get the band back together? As far as I have to.
Right answer.
Get your team here by 6:00 a.
m.
-What? -I'll have a car waiting.
I'm a broken man, I'm damaged goods Lock me in the basement with furnace soot -(horn honks insistently) -Not-bitch! You are not plain, you are not plain Let me whisper in your brain This sound can't be ignored, this sound can't be ignored It's insane, it's just insane People doing puzzles in their brain Hanging them up on the wall They're hanging them up on the wall Gentlemen welcome to "The Place.
" Wait.
Did you ride all the way from--? God no.
I have an airstrip a few miles up the road.
Thought I'd log a couple hours behind the stick, then burn some miles on the trail.
Where's the gangsta chick? -Paid gig in Oakland, sir.
-Her loss.
I imagine ya'll have questions.
This place has the answers.
"In every walk with nature one receives far more than he seeks.
" John Muir said that.
The "Body is a Wonderland," dude? No, the naturalist, you dipshit.
First, I need your tech.
Phones, fitbits, nano-pods, all of it.
Now.
Uh, I can't sleep without my white noise app.
I want you naked out here.
Open.
No walls.
No crutches.
Nothing between you and your authentic selves.
However hideous they may be.
Cough it up.
Now, sir, what exactly are your expectations? I want to make sure the team gets the most out of this.
Well, Barrett, I expect you to figure it the fuck out.
Everything you need to complete this challenge is inside that cabin.
Wait a second.
Challenge? A test.
An exercise.
A goddamn intervention.
Take your pick.
The point is, you'll either rise to the occasion or you won't.
How long are we supposed to be out here? When are you coming back? There is no back, only forward! Hey, wait.
All of our things are in the back! -(clamoring shouts) -Stop! Where are you? (sighs) Shoot! -Huh.
-Total shithole, bros.
(coughs) We seem to be short a bed.
-I'll take the floor.
-(sneezes) I have seasonal allergic rhinitis (sighs) and I left my Claritin in Mr.
Murchison's car.
See, it's no big deal, I just need them to breathe.
Great.
No fucking power.
(sighs) We have no heat, no power, and no way of communicating with the outside world.
No board games either.
Parcheesi would be clutch right now.
No food in the kitchen.
I did find a dead shrew.
And this.
Looks like a care package from The Murch.
"The truth you seek is inside.
" Hmm.
Well, this stuff is seriously rando.
Maybe Murch killed a drifter.
Really? No.
Damn it.
Hey, allow me.
I was a Webelos.
God, it's so fucking beautiful out here.
Reminds me of my off-the-grid days.
Yes.
This dirt is gorgeous.
What is with you? Everything is always glass half empty.
Oh, don't you attack me because you refuse to acknowledge that this weekend is a disaster.
Wha-- Come on.
Ah! Gosh dang it! I'm such a worthless idiot! Whoa.
Tranquilo, little man.
You've been hittin' the Dead Rising a little hard lately.
-When's the last time you slept? -I don't know.
A while.
-All right.
Well Want some beef jerky? -Yes, please.
TREY: Well, what was I supposed to do? Demo Day is three weeks away, and we're a mess.
The app is stagnant.
You think I don't know that? Well, it sure doesn't feel like it.
I seem to be the only one trying to fix BRB.
You're not fixing anything, OK? Demo Day wouldn't even be a problem -if you'd just accepted Michael's offer.
-(laughs) -Whoa.
An offer? -It was nothing.
Lau offered us more users.
50,000, minimum.
And, uh, we're not taking the offer because? Because it's not a real solution.
It's just juking the stats.
You can't just magic wand this away with a "Wire" reference, man.
50,000 users is pretty significant.
You can't keep ignoring me.
-I'm your co-founder.
-And I'm CEO! It's my job to make decisions on behalf of the team.
The team? (laughs) Hobbes is a mental deficient who we should've fired months ago.
And Mitchell hacked BRB leaving me to clean up his mess! Wait.
What? What do you mean Mitchell hacked BRB? He changed the code to match better with Mikki.
-You promised you wouldn't tell! -And neither of you told me?! Our launch almost went off the rails 'cause of you! I hunted down my ex-wife.
I punched some girl in the tit and became famous for it, and then I lit my cat on fucking fire! -Bro-bro, come on, man.
-No! Get outta my face, man! Nash is right.
We're not a team.
We're just a bunch of selfish assholes who deserve to die in these woods.
I can't believe I fucking rubbed your shoulders, man.
Disgusting.
(sighs) Mama, there's wolves in the house Mama, they won't make nice -Couldn't sleep? -Jesus, you scared me.
Sorry.
Had a nightmare that I was stuck in the woods without any technology.
Right.
-You crack the code yet? -(clears throat) What do you make of this? "Who's adventurous enough to want to go on that journey? "Do you realize when you go on that journey in order to get "to the destination you can never get to the destination? In the process, you must die.
" Well, it's either some O.
G.
hippie shit or a call to action.
Knowing Murch, probably both.
Also it's hard to know what "the destination" is when -You only have half a map.
Yeah.
-Yeah.
I mean, near as I can tell, we're here.
-But beyond that -What's up with these dog-eared pages? Uh, they're just forest facts.
There's a passage about spruce trees, a description of a lake.
Maybe it's the page numbers that matter, not the text.
Coordinates for the map, like a grid system.
OK.
Give me the numbers.
25, uh, 46 55, 72.
55, 72 "Who's adventurous enough to go on that journey?" That's gotta be it.
Well, whatever we're looking for should be right around here.
-I've been counting my steps.
-The whole time? 3,500.
That's 1.
7 miles, give or take.
And yet I've never seen you plug in to recharge.
Are you a solar-power model? A robot joke.
How original.
Robotic response.
(sighs) Man, I'd kill for my tunes right about now.
I just copped the new Freddie Gibbs tape.
Wasn't even halfway through listening to that joint, Murch was like, "Blaow!" Stuck us up for our tech, our necessities.
(sneezes) Oh, man.
I used to have terrible allergies, myself.
I used to get these, like, epic nosebleeds -in math class when I would -Stop talking, please.
Well, it's definitely the same tree.
So what? Do we chop it down? -Why would we do that? -I dunno, I thought firewood.
Guys, look.
I guess we dig.
Well, allow me.
-Oh.
-Oh, shit.
(grunts) Guys, we got box.
Holy shit.
Stewart Brand.
Jack Dorsey.
Elon Musk.
Fucking Murch.
MITCHELL: What? Oh.
Look at him.
Jesus, he looks like a little kid, right? Steve Jobs.
This is insane.
Every tech luminary of the last 30 years is here, standing in front of this tree.
Jackpot! Oh, that's what the tape was for.
Thanks, Captain Obvious.
Now the final coordinates -55, 72.
-55, 72.
It's six miles away.
We can make it in two hours.
You better make that eight.
Bottom of the box.
"The truth you seek is inside.
" Murch wasn't talking about beef jerky.
-He was talking about our minds.
-What are those? It's LSD.
Four tabs for four cool dudes.
You're dehydrated-- and possibly insane.
Those are pieces of tin foil.
Are you kidding me, man? Look at these photos! Every single one of these guys is an astral traveler.
Murch clearly wants us to join the ranks of the men who traveled before us, and this tree is our launching pad.
Yeah, and Phish are probably playing the next clearing over.
No one is dropping acid with you.
It's not your decision.
Maybe I want to.
Yeah.
Maybe Nash wants to.
Nash, remember what happened when we ate pot brownies? You thought you were blind.
You're my brother.
Good job.
Mitch? Mitchy Mitch? You ready to squeegee that third eye? Ah! I'm just not 100% about mixing my meds with acid.
I mean if I had my phone I could look it up on WebMD, but -It'll be fine.
-Yes.
Getting wasted in the woods is not gonna solve our problems.
HOBBES: Who's talking about getting wasted, man? We're not getting wasted.
We're thinking different, OK? You think George Murchison sent us here to eat S'mores and hike? No.
He's giving us all the red pill.
Join us in the Circle of the Real.
Trey isn't a joiner.
He likes to go it alone.
(laughs) Yeah! God, man.
Newfound respect for all three of you.
It's crazy.
Brothers.
Connect four.
All right, let's do this.
Everybody say "chromosome damage.
" -Chromosome damage.
-Don't say that.
Ride on that easy rider Flow like that Harlem River I run for you, I run for you I run for you, I run for you We're 60% water, right? You just added more you to you.
Oh, I can feel it all through my body.
Cell by cell.
-What would be amazing right about now is Mountain Dew.
-(scoffs) This isthis is literally mountain dew.
-(laughs) -Nice.
-(laughs) -(grunts) It's like holding a meteor shower.
What you're holding is time.
The end result of millions of years of geologic process.
That could be a mountain.
It could be an eagle.
It could be a manatee, because this was once the bottom of the ocean.
Why don't we look at dirt? It's all around us, and we never really look.
Good call.
Yeah, I'm seeing all sorts of crazy stuff, you guys, right now.
My mind is just blown from all the highness that we're doing.
Gentlemen, I believe we are dry of water.
Please do not suggest drinking our own urine again.
I think it's OK if you boil it first.
Not if it's straight from the source.
You're not peeing in my mouth, bro.
(laughs) Yo, dudes, there's something written on this map.
"Talk to Scarlet.
" Scarlet Wine.
Blood.
Sin.
Maybe it's an anagram.
"Call Task Otter" Uh "Altar Lock Test" "Tell Tacos Kart" "Elk Scrotal Tat"? Boom! That's gotta be it.
Guys Maybe we're looking for a guy with an elk tattooed on his balls, instead of an elk with a guy.
It may not even be an anagram, and even if it was There's over 3,400 possible word combinations.
(whispers): How does he do that? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Am I tripping, or is that a truck? You are, and it is.
An old, red truck.
In the middle -- Wait, wait, wait, wait-- -"Talk to Scarlet.
" -The truck is Scarlet.
(laughs) There's a cooler in the back.
-I fucking love The Murch, you guys! -(laughs) -(laughs) -Fuck.
Yes! I mean this ginger ale is crucial, fer sure, but driving this thing seems like a bad idea.
You gotta stop being such a pussy.
Wouldn't the Murch have left us keys if he wanted us to drive? It's another riddle for us to solve, man.
It's all part of the fun.
You remember that device we built freshman year, to hack the dorm vending machine? Our R.
A.
caught us and we paid him off with Kit Kats.
(laughing) Oh, that feels like so long ago.
(sighs) Why are we friends? What do you mean? If we hadn't been roommates, we wouldn't even be here right now.
We wouldn't even know each other.
It's just random chance.
You don't know that.
We had classes together.
Have you ever looked us up? On BRB? Yeah.
Sure.
42%.
It's a terrible match.
We got a "Call of Duty" sitch at twelve o'clock.
Interesting.
I think you might've been right about this truck, Mitch.
-What do we do? -Exit the vehicle slowly.
Guys, we're not alone.
Hey! What the hell are you doing?! It seems like they've been running forever.
-Totally.
-OK, dudes, here's the thing-- I'm not tripping.
I only pretended to dose, so this is actually happening! We're about to be taken and Liam Neeson is not coming to save us! -(screaming) -MAN: Hey! Get back here! Get back here! (grunts) Dude, why did you lie about dosing? You faked being high all day.
You violated our Circle Of Realness, dude.
You were pressuring me.
You know what? Forget it.
No.
When are you gonna stop caring what other people think of you man and just be yourself? -What are you afraid of? -I'm not afraid.
Yeah, you are.
You're afraid to tell Mikki you wanna hit that.
You were afraid to tell us that you fucked up BRB.
And you're clearly afraid to have this conversation right now.
Fine! You want me to be real? I'll step in the Circle.
Yes! Step into the fucking circle, man.
Pi "R" squared! You're the one that can't handle reality.
You're obsessed with your ex-wife, and you lied to us for months about being homeless.
You're a 35-year-old man who acts like a child, -and I'm done babysitting you.
-Oh, that how you see it? It's how everyone sees it! Everyone except for you! And if being "real" means ending up alone and angry, then maybe I don't wanna be real! Dude, don't fucking pre-cog me, man! You don't know what my future holds! When we first met on the boards, I could not believe you were I.
M.
'ing me.
-You were this hacker legend.
-You thought I was a legend? Yeah.
And now? I know you and you scare me.
That's what's real.
(sighs) Dude.
Come on, man.
You're the best, dude.
Thanks.
I gotta start letting go of some stuff, man.
You're like a little Buddha, dude (sniffs) -with great-smelling hair.
-OK, man.
It's cool.
-You smell good.
-Thanks.
-I really gotta take a whiz.
-All right.
Nash-tun Kutcher, what's up, dude? Mother Nature is talking.
Come listen to what she has to say.
Yeah.
(sighs) (birds twittering, bullfrogs croaking) Can you hear that, Hobbes? The forest is a symphony.
(sighs) Whoa.
Oh.
(imitating British narrator): Monarchs travel thousands of miles each year just to mate.
No single butterfly survives the round trip.
-That's so sad.
-No, man.
They're adventurers, just like us.
They cross the Atlantic Ocean, popping up in places like Bermuda just because they like the plants.
-(sighs) -That's it.
-That's how we fix it.
-Fix what? BRB.
Where's Trey? I have to tell Trey! (distant screeching) Who's there? Murch, is that you? I'm lost! Barrett.
You made it.
Where are your boys? -We got separated.
-I thought you were the leader.
I keep trying to show them the way, but They can't keep up.
Maybe you're moving too fast.
I don't understand any of this.
Why'd you bring me here? I brought you here to learn to listen.
To the trees.
To the dirt.
To your team.
Because somewhere along the line you started to believe that a leader moves through the world alone.
That you, and only you, know what's best.
But what about the men who came before? The men in the photos, they were all alone.
Really? Then who took the photos? -I've always felt alone.
-I know.
That's why we do what we do, people like us.
We build the future 'cause the present is too painful to bear.
What if I fail? What if I can't build that future? It will unfold anyway.
It always does.
That's the paradox-- the tighter that you hold on, the more slips through your fingers.
You have to surrender control.
I don't know anything anymore.
NASH: Trey! -(laughs) -We've been looking for you! (sighs) I missed you guys.
-We missed you, too.
(laughs) -Mitchy here traced your footsteps -like a mini Bear Grylls.
-Hobbes foraged some mushrooms.
We saved you some.
Yeah.
Didn't get to pee in anyone's mouth, though.
What's up with that desk? I'm not sure.
Um, do we have any idea how to get out of these woods? We're very close.
Thank God.
Lead the way.
Well, according to my calculations, our destination should be right here.
-(laughing) -Hey! Dude, pretend it's your birthday.
-We'll get free dessert.
-(laughs) -(sighs) -Wow.
Hey, you must be George's boys.
I've been expecting you.
Yo, the Murch just Keyser Soze'd the shit out of us.
(laughs) -Whoa.
-Yes.
(laughs) Bacon Ranch Quesadillas-- they're George's favorite.
Enjoy.
(moans) This is this is -literally the tastiest thing I've ever eaten.
-(laughs) Hey.
I had a vision in the woods.
I told Mitch and Hobbes about it.
We were kicking around ideas for BRB 2.
0.
Oh.
Really? You remember what I asked you in the truck? -About why we were friends.
-Yeah.
Sure.
Well, it made me sad at first, but later we were looking at these butterflies and Hobbes told me how they flock to meet here.
Like you and I flocked to Stanford.
I realized that it wasn't random-- the conditions were right for us to become friends.
-Starting with the location.
-HOBBES: Yeah.
So we figured, work backwards.
Pick a location, and then bring users there.
Sounds like you're talking about some pretty major changes.
(sighs) Which is exactly what we need.
We need to shake things up.
I've just been too stubborn to admit it.
Um, who's got the marker? Well, we should jam on this while it's still fresh, right? -You had it last, duder.
-Oh.
(laughing) And I've been travelin' I've been lost I've fucked around And like a heavy Mind unraveling Through open fields And prairie towns I got sick And I got sicker And I spent a month in bed Until the visions Came to me quicker I saw ghosts and I saw red Watch all episodes of Alpha House, -starring John Goodman.
-Oh, that'd be great.
Exclusively on Amazon Prime Instant Video.
Amazing.