Boo, Bitch (2022) s01e07 Episode Script

1
Holy shit.
You're dead.
Which means
I'm alive?
Boo, bitch.
Why is dead you wearing my shoes?
It was the best option
I could come up with on the fly
to make you think you were dead.
We're young. Our lives are just beginning.
Yes. And we're gonna be remembered.
From now on, let's promise
to live our lives without giving any fu
My nightmares have come alive ♪
They're eating me from the inside ♪
You made me think I was dead on purpose?
- I didn't know what to do.
- And the flickering lights?
Yeah, that was me. Sometimes I could
control it, sometimes I couldn't.
I was worried that,
if the one time you took a chance,
your best friend got brained,
you'd never take another risk.
I didn't want you
to be Helen Who for the rest of your life.
Better to live my entire life
thinking I'm a ghost!
Was it the best plan? No.
I was still trying
to figure out things myself,
so we figured it out together.
No. We didn't figure out anything!
You did!
I wasn't thinking straight.
It's a bit lonely,
dying and not being able
to tell anyone about it.
- You ghostlit me!
- I did it to protect you.
After I saw you stepping out and living
your best life, I didn't want you to stop.
And you didn't stop,
because my plan was working,
which is why I didn't come clean.
No. That's more ghostlighting.
You didn't come clean because you thought
that I couldn't live my life without you!
Are you really so caught up
in your own shit
that you can't make up
with your dead best friend?
You are such a bitch!
- You pushed me to be this way.
- No, I didn't!
I pushed you to live fearlessly.
The bitch part, that is all on you!
You think that this bitch
can't live her life without you?
Watch me!
You are dead to me!
It's a new day, Erika Vu. YOLOOT.
Make way for the main character, bitches.
You are serving.
Dibs on Erika's earbuds!
You sure you wanna be hugging
a whiny little bitch right now?
What?
The prom assembly.
You called me a WLB, Erika.
- I said that?
- Yeah.
That doesn't even sound like
something I'd say.
Are you sure I would say that?
No I don't think I said that.
I'm so excited to spend the summer
with my boyfriend.
Boy Boyfriend?
Mm-hm. Yeah, and there's so much
we can do now.
Well, now that I have summer,
we can go swimming,
have bonfires, kickbacks, minigolf,
sex.
And, I don't even have to worry
about something going wrong. Yeah.
I mean, as long as we wear a condom, but
You, uh
You're ready for for sex?
- Yeah. I'm not just ready.
- Mm.
I'm high-key ready.
Oh.
There's my BuzzFeed interview. Gotta go.
At least 23 schools have canceled prom.
I mean, this is a movement,
and you're the de facto leader.
How do you feel, knowing you've had
such an impact on teens' lives?
Well, it's not about me per se.
It's about how prom is problematic,
but BT-dubs, no one was saying it
until I did.
I'm just giving a voice to my generation.
So you'd say this was a selfless act?
- Totally selfless.
- Great, um
Okay. Oh, could you send me
a selfie of you?
You know, in a prom dress.
Just to publish with the article.
I don't have a prom dress,
because I'm not going to prom.
Oh, right. Well, we'll send you something.
Cool. I look good in sleeveless tulle
with a mermaid silhouette.
Okay. All right. Thank you, Erika.
This is a super high-quality ribbon.
They did not cheap out at all here.
It's a really nice touch.
And the lid is off. It's off!
Oh!
I am so into this '80s vibe.
I will do an '80s fashion show vid
once I hit 250K subscribers.
So make sure that you share and follow.
What the hell?
Why are you buying all this crap?
- You're ruining my unboxing video.
- You're ruining my bank account.
I didn't buy any of this.
It's all influencer swag.
Calm down.
Have some CBD mist.
Oh! Ew! You can't
spritz your way out of this.
You're in serious trouble.
Okay, I can't even right now
with your mood.
I'm actually going to be
making money off of this.
Well, you know what?
You better be making money fast.
What's that?
- It's your emergency credit card bill.
- For $15,000.
$3,000 for ice.
Yeah. And not cool ice, like diamonds ice.
Just regular frozen water!
15K is not that bad.
It could have been 20K,
and I didn't rent the reindeer.
Although I really should have.
Wait, is that teen slang for cocaine?
I thought it was "snow."
Look, I can pay you back later
with my influencer money.
Or I can pay you back now
with lipstick and antiaging products.
Cancel your summer plans.
You're getting a job.
Or I get 50K more followers,
and then I monetize my brand,
which'll happen in a week,
'cause I'm very alive and blowing up,
which means I can make it up.
I'm so upset.
I couldn't return my prom dress.
Shit. You actually paid for yours?
Such a bummer not to get swag.
Footage from Chase.
He's making the senior time capsule,
letting me review my footage.
All your angles are perfect, Riley.
You are one equilateral bitch.
- Ooh. Can we approve ours too?
- No, just me.
And maybe Erika. God, I love that bitch.
- So much.
- Yeah, me too. Mm.
- I really wanna stand by my girl.
- Mm-hm.
But I just got my dress for free.
- Mm.
- I finally decided on a color.
And now no one's gonna know
what it was or how good it looked on me.
What a shame.
I kind of wish we were going.
Yeah, it's so sad that we have to suffer
the consequences of her actions.
Yeah.
It's really too bad there's nothing
we can do about it.
Why can't we?
- Because she's our friend.
- This isn't personal.
We wanna go to prom,
and I know how to make that happen.
I guess. As long as it isn't personal.
- Nothing's personal on the Internet.
- What do you mean?
#UncancelCancelProm.
No service?
- Wi-Fi's out. And my cell service. Fix it.
- Hm. Let me take a look.
So we canceled your cell phone service,
and you're kicked off the Wi-Fi.
- What? No, you can't do that!
- Totally can though.
Get your own phone, Miss Influencer.
I was taking a test!
Then use the computer you made us buy.
An influencer's lifeblood
is her cell phone.
You have 15 minutes to get it back up or
Or what?
Shit.
Why did I change my password
to something I'd never remember?
No, I am the administrator,
you dumb piece of alloy!
- What is that?
- The house phone.
The only phone I get to use,
'cause those dipshits downstairs
won't let me get a cell
for another two years.
It's for you.
It's some bitch.
Chase let me review
the footage for the time capsule,
and there's a video of you
from the party at Jake W's.
- So?
- So.
You threw mad shade
on all of your friends.
No, I didn't.
Yes, you did.
On Lea, Jake C, me.
So? Everyone talks shit.
It's gonna be buried with a cropped ski
jacket and a Harry Styles coloring book.
Yeah, later.
But first it's going in the senior
text chain for everyone to see.
Fine. Send it to me.
Actually, can can you send it
to my brother?
Yeah, lame. I said it. Especially Riley.
She's a fake salty giraffe who eats all
the good leaves from the top of the tree.
And Jake C is her little simp bitch
who just stays in a shitty relationship
because he's too afraid to be alone.
And look at Keisha.
She pretends to be a skater,
but those wheels
have never touched pavement.
And Lea. She hates Riley,
but she kisses her ass
because she doesn't want to go back
to slumming it with the band freaks.
- Shit.
- Wow.
I take back
everything I've said about you.
You're a dick,
and I'm honored to call you family.
What am I gonna do?
What am I gonna do?
Oh, wait. I just remembered.
I took it all back. I took it all back.
I'm fine. I'm totally fine.
That's it?
Oh no. Oh no, no, no. That's not it.
There's more. Where is the more?
This can't get out. Hand me your phone.
- I don't have a phone.
- The house's phone!
No. This is history as it was.
And as a documentarian with integrity,
I will not cut it out.
- But I took it all back.
- Aw. That's what they all say.
Where's the rest of the footage?
At least put that back in.
I don't know what you're talking about.
What do you want?
Do you like Nikes or Adidas or Allbirds?
Or are you more a luxury jogger type guy?
Oh, Erika, I can't be bribed.
Unlike you, I have principles.
Unless you have an Oculus Quest.
- Uh, I'll find one.
- Have a little self-respect, Erika.
Gia. I need Gia. Give me your computer.
- I have to text Gia.
- No, I'll do it.
Hey! Hey, I'm glad you texted me.
I I've wanted to talk too.
- I really wanna reconcile.
- So do I.
- I'm so glad.
- I've been worried about you.
Are you okay?
Uh
No.
I really don't wanna ascend
while we're in a bad place.
I don't want that either.
I'm starting to glitch.
Like, really, really glitch.
I'm I'm fading away, Erika.
I'm losing my power. I don't know
when I'm gonna be gone for good.
Oh my God. You're fading away. Gia, I
I don't know what to say.
Hey, before you lose your power,
could you just help me with one thing?
Could you use your ghost power
to thwart a video release?
Chase has a bad tape on me,
and I just want it erased.
Could you just scramble it?
Are Are you kidding me?
I came here to apologize to you.
And you came here to use me?
I am literally about to disappear
into a freaking lava lamp
because I don't know what my UFB is,
and you're sitting here caring
about what everyone thinks about you?
I have done everything
I have done everything
to make sure that you could be cool
and that you could make your mark
and get a boyfriend,
but you've literally
you have done nothing
You have done nothing for me!
You care more about about this video
or some dumb comment that I wrote
than you care about your best friend!
Maybe Maybe this video
It's like you need it to come out!
What? You wrote that comment?
You were my troll?
You are not my friend.
And you You are not You are not mine.
I just cannot believe
that I am going to die
the way that I lived!
Which is wasting my time on you.
Jake. Jake!
Hey! Sorry I woke you up.
I just came to apologize.
- For canceling prom?
- No.
- For bringing Riley on our date?
- No.
- For calling me a whiny little bitch?
- Uh, close.
Uh, but not exactly.
Turns out I
kinda sorta called you a
simp bitch.
So far not a great apology.
Okay,
so there's footage going around
of a party at Jake W's where I kinda
talked mad shit about everyone.
But, I took it back.
Please don't be mad at me.
Um, and I didn't even know you back then
when I said that you
stayed in a shitty relationship with Riley
because you're too afraid of being alone.
Is that supposed to make me feel better?
Yes.
- Uh
- No.
I I I don't know.
What would make you feel better?
- Going back to sleep.
- Okay. Go back to sleep.
- Okay.
- Wait. Uh, please don't be mad at me.
I I swear I didn't mean any of it.
I'm not mad at you.
- Really?
- Really. Good night, Erika.
Good night.
- I've always dreamed about going to prom.
- Yeah, me too.
It was second on my bucket list
right after "conduct a successful séance."
Well, I know that one's
gonna happen for you.
- You do?
- Yeah, I do.
I I don't think I've ever liked anyone
as much as I like you, Gia.
- You You don't like me?
- No.
No, I do.
I do. I like you so much.
Then, what's the problem?
Remember that big lie
that I told to Erika?
Well, it kind of applies to you too.
Uh, that that's okay.
Just tell me about it now.
That's how relationships get better.
Gavin, you might be
the only person
who has ever truly seen me.
And I'm just afraid that at some point
you'll see right through me.
The disappointment.
And I really don't wanna hurt you.
Which is why it's over.
What?
N No. No. Why?
It just is.
Okay.
Friend of mine ♪
Is a black suitcase
And a frowny face ♪
- Where's my latte?
- I don't give lattes to bitches.
Fine. Yeah, I do.
But only to bitches that are my friends.
Okay. I get it. You saw the video.
And I'm sorry that I said
that you kiss Riley's ass,
but I meant it as a compliment,
'cause you're, like, so good at it.
What video?
Then why are you mad at me?
The video? Totally scrambled.
What kind of Edward Snowden shit
did you pull?
- So no one's seen the video?
- Ugh, your innocent act is so cringe.
Oh my God! Gia did it.
Did what?
What? So, hold on. If no one's seen
the video, why's everyone mad at me?
I don't know. Maybe it's 'cause
you're a selfish, manipulative bitch.
Ugh.
Hmph.
Impressive bitch looking so effortless ♪
Impressive sound like no one else ♪
Sorry. There's no room.
- What's going on?
- You're trending.
- I am?
- Not in a good way.
#UncancelCancelProm is viral
in the US and one province in Canada.
I tried to warn you this was a bad idea.
- No, you didn't.
- Didn't I?
You did.
You took something away from people
that they've been looking forward to
for four years. A rite of passage.
- What did you expect?
- You supported me.
If you're this defensive
I can't have a conversation with you.
- Seriously?
- Seriously.
And you can't sit with us.
Oh, Jake.
People are being so lame.
Everyone's mad at me about prom,
but they wanted this.
If they didn't want prom to be canceled,
then they shouldn't have chanted.
It's on them.
At least you're not mad at me.
You know that I was up all night?
I was thinking about what you said.
You know, what everyone says.
And I realized
that I'm addicted to drama.
- And see, you you are the queen of it.
- I wouldn't say I'm the queen.
Mm, no. See, I know who I fell for.
And that person is not sitting
next to me right now.
I am. I I'm just me.
Look. I've had some crazy shit
happen to me
in the past three weeks,
but it's over now. Okay?
I'm gonna be so DGAF.
I'm gonna be so chill.
- Like shaved ice but a person
- Mm.
That's the thing.
You know, at first, I thought
that I liked that you were DGAF,
and I thought that
maybe I wanted to be more like you.
But then I realized that I
I'm a GAF. And that's okay.
Because it's it's not
a bad thing to care.
But you make it out
as if it is a bad thing.
And I don't wanna be afraid
to be vulnerable.
I want you to be vulnerable with me.
No, you don't.
You know how you said
that I stay in shitty relationships
because I'm too afraid
to be alone?
Well, you're right.
I'm afraid.
But I'm gonna do it anyway.
We're done, Erika.
Dude, are you burning a corsage?
Mm-hm.
- Who did this to you, man?
- Why? So you can hit on her?
So I can know
who broke my best friend's heart.
I'll hex that bitch. Gimme a strand
of her hair, nail clippings,
and maybe some menstrual blood.
I'll take care of it.
No. No hexing.
Just tell us who it is.
You guys know her. She's one of the girls
always asking about unfinished business.
Her?
No. That is her best friend.
Or was her best friend.
You know? Gia. From the cemetery.
Who's Gia?
Only Erika was at the cemetery.
Are you freaking kidding me?
So, when we found out
your daughter didn't have a license,
we had to impound the car for 30 days.
Where is your driver's license?
Goodbye, license with the hideous pic!
You can get the car fixed in 30 days,
but, uh, it's not gonna be cheap.
She really banged it up.
Add it to my bill.
Ah! Oh my God! My phone. It's on.
Yeah. I convinced them
to turn it back on, assface.
I told them you've agreed to drive me
to baseball and need it for emergencies.
You're welcome.
Who are you, baby? ♪
Who are you keeping around? ♪
I'm changing places ♪
So I can't see you anymore ♪
Who are you, baby? ♪
Will I know your face? ♪
In a locked box
In a locked drawer ♪
Will I find me an American girl? ♪
American girl ♪
Follow the leader ♪
Bit the apple
Mastered the teacher ♪
Broken shackles
Hang in the breezes ♪
Heavy-hearted
And hardly breathing ♪
I just run
Just run ♪
Who are you, baby? ♪