Britannia High (2008) s01e07 Episode Script

THINKS: Stefan's just, like, the best dancer I've ever seen.
He's, like, cool and hot at the same time.
There should be a special word for him.
"COT".
Hm.
It doesn't really work.
We did this amazing tap routine together.
When we finished, we were staring into each other's eyes.
I knew then he felt the same about me as I feel about him.
Wooh! Wooh! When we kissed, it was like the whole world stopped.
I'm totally and utterly, 100%, head over heels in love.
This could be the start of something I can feel my heart is jumping Want to walk but can't stop running I can't stop running It's good to be a part of something Once upon a time was nothing This could be the start of something This could be the start of something good Why do I have a horrible feeling that this essay sucks? Cos it does.
Do you know where my phone charger is? By the kettle? Where it normally is? Toast, anyone? Do you want to give that a rest, please, sweetheart? I have to practise.
It's really hard brushing your teeth like this.
Morning, everyone.
Hiya.
Ermsleep OK? Yeah, like a baby.
Woke up crying every couple of hours.
I'm kidding.
Doesn't anyone ever laugh any more? Right.
Good one.
Where are the plates? I've given them to a charity shop because we're going self-sufficient.
Where did you get that from? Bedrock? I made it.
Do you want it for your toast or cracked over your pretty head? How do you spell Rachmaninov? I can't.
R-A-C-H-M-A-N-I-N-O-V.
Thanks.
OK.
I've got to go.
Danny.
See you.
Bye.
Do you want me to wait for you, Lauren? No, babe.
I'll catch you up.
Has she been doing that all morning? Yeah.
And you know, I never tire of it.
You're in a good mood.
Me? I couldn't be better.
Danny dumped you, didn't he? Yeah.
He did.
On and on, baby, I gotcha back I sit here waiting Just so I can see your face Hm.
Sorry.
I'll knock next time.
Were you looking for someone? I'mI thought BB might be inside.
We watched a film last night and he said it gave him an idea for a routine.
Oh.
What film? ErFinding Nemo.
The cartoon.
Yeah.
He said it gave him an idea for a sort offish tango.
Anyway, better go.
Actually, do you have a sec? I did want to speak to you about something.
Time with you may seem so far away But patience has a say I wanna be close to you The big dance competition at the performing arts school stage each year.
I get to pick the best first-year dancer to represent the school.
That's nice.
I could be more clear.
Hm? I pick YOU to represent the school.
It will mean lots of extra work, though.
Rehearsals every day after school with me.
Do you reckon you can handle it? Yeah.
I mean, of course.
If you really think I can do it.
Thank you so much.
So you'll think about it, yes? No, I don't have to.
Let's sayfirst session tonight.
Six o'clock? Stefan's asked me to represent Britannia High in the inter-school dance competition.
That's sick.
In the modern, idiomatic way, of course.
You so deserve it.
And don't worry.
I promise I won't let it go to my head.
That's the nice thing about you.
Absolutely nothing goes to your head.
Oh, thanks, Jez.
It's OK.
BB, Jez.
Can I talk to you a second? (SINGS) Someone's gonna get it.
And not in a good way.
What are you doing after school? I didn't know you cared.
You know Mr Nugent and I love your radio show.
Thank you.
We commend your excellent taste.
How do you fancy the lunchtime slot, Monday to Friday? It's a big opportunity.
But when will we eat? Nothing ever gets in the way of your ruthless ambition, does it? We'll pre-record the show after school.
That way you get to learn a bit about post-production and editing.
Very handy skills to have.
Cool.
So I'll book the studio for tonight at six.
Yeah? Yes, ma'am.
What did Anna want? You are looking at the new five times a week, lunchtime radio show.
Brilliant.
All I could think about growing up was that I might actually meet a part-time amateur school radio DJ.
Can I have your autograph? Keep on, you'll get more than that, funny boy.
I'll be listening.
It'll remind me of my granddad.
Your granddad was a DJ? No.
But he had so many fillings he could pick up our local radio station on his teeth.
Hi, guys.
Oh, BB.
How's that fish tango coming along? Good.
Yeah.
It's orange.
They do fish flavour now? Random.
What do you think she keeps writing about? She's putting a lot into it, so maybe she's less shallow than we thought.
Your new squeeze is there.
Who's next on your list? Lola? Ronnie? You? Hahaha (!) Hurry up, Dan.
You know what Nugent's like if you're late.
Yup.
And who wears the trousers in THIS relationship? Funny guy, Jez.
THINKS: I wonder if Stefan likes soup.
Is it pea and ham? Or ham and pea? Is there a difference? We had this really nice chat on the treadmill.
He loved my new outfit.
(SQUEALS) I can't believe Stefan's found such a brilliant way for us to spend all this time together.
Just me and him.
What you writing, babe? It's private.
So, how did your rehearsal go with Mr Handsome last night? Good, yeah.
He's a brilliant teacher.
Aaagh! What did you get up to? Early night, really.
Just did some reading, listened to the radio.
I'll be getting a cat next.
It's about rhythm, it's about using your hips.
It's about watching where your arms go, it's about looking in your partner's eyes.
It's all about line, so please watch your hands.
That's what she said to me last night.
Do you mind? Stefan's trying to teach.
ALL: Oooooooh! Thank you, Lola.
It's about passion, so don't be afraid to get close to each other's bodies.
OK? From the top.
LATIN MUSIC Five, six, seven, and With passion.
And six, seven, and Use your hip.
Good.
Jez.
Just slide on over and let me see some more Look into your partner's eyes.
# No, it's not going down like that Work a little harder, boy Jez.
Got to make a good impression Tango.
Move up, get closer, what you waiting for? I'm gonna drive you crazy, the way I shake it, baby Just bring your hip to my hip, don't shake when I whip you up Right up into a frenzy Get body to body, can we? Just do this hip to the hip, don't trip, come and touch me It's hot, hot, hot Oh, my God, I think I love her She's so on fire, I just got to know Does her body travel, ohhh? Won't you bring it over here? Baby you look good to go No, it's not going down like that If you want me, gotta show me, gotta blow me away I'm gonna drive you crazy The way I shake it, baby Just bring your hip to my hip, don't trip when I whip you up Right up into a frenzy Get body to body, can we? Just do this hip to the hip Don't trip, come and touch me, it's hot, hot, hot Hot, hot, hot! Gonna drive you crazy Drive me crazy Wanna shake it, baby Shake it, baby Get you in a frenzy In a frenzy Hot, hot, hot Come on I'm gonna drive you crazy, the way I shake it, baby Just bring your hip to the hip, don't trip when I whip you up Right up into a frenzy, get body to body, can we? Just do this hip to the hip, don't trip Come and touch, it's hot, hot, hot! Do you like that? All right.
Thank you.
Pretty good, everyone.
Lola, I'll see you later for rehearsals.
Yeah? I'm trying to be a gent, man.
Hi, Lola.
That might give us some hilarious stuff for our radio show.
Put your eyebrows down.
You've got a wicked mind.
Do you want this show of ours to cause a stir? Yeah, of course I do.
Then our mission Should I choose to accept it is? To get hold of Lola's diary and tell the whole school what really goes on inside her mind.
Yeah, that would be fine.
IF your jokes were funny, BB.
Hey, guys.
What are you up to? I've got my next lesson with Stefan.
How about you guys? Do you want to hang? My and my boy are doing our radio show.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Oh, yeah.
Of course.
I've got to get something to eat first.
My stomach is eating itself.
Great.
That's another half an hour.
I could go and get you some food.
I could be your assistant.
How brilliant is that? I can make a playlist for the school website, sort out the CDs, make you tea and coffee when you need it, and bring you food.
OK? Great.
I will see you up there in twenty.
I wonder.
BB.
BB, come back.
BB.
BB! BB, what are you doing? Listen to this.
READS: When the piece finished, Anna asked me what I thought of the falsettos.
I said I'd never been.
I defo need to travel more.
We can't read this stuff out on air.
He'll know we've read it from her diaries, stupid.
Oh, my God.
I know.
She's gonna kill us.
You've got to read this.
Lola and Stefan.
What? They're doing it.
Doing what? IT.
IT.
(Get down.
) How do YOU get to look? Cos I'm immune.
Has she gone? She's just getting in the shower.
(SQUEALS) (OK.
She's got her back to us.
Give me the diary.
) Give me that.
I'm just gonna get my washbag.
OK.
(I could kill you for getting me into this.
) (Where's your sense of fun?) (I must've left it in my jacket.
) Chillax, dude.
We'll just wait.
It's not that bad.
Not that bad? How could things possibly be any worse? Hi.
(We're gonna be in here for hours.
) Look - I don't want to see it.
(She's taking the bag.
) She's taking the bag! We've got to distract her.
It's Lola.
Silver foil at the end of a stick will do it.
I can't wait till they find out.
We've got to keep this to ourselves or she'll know what we've done.
You distract her, I'll put this back, and we pray she doesn't notice it's missing.
Yeah, yeah.
Have we forgotten something? Oh, hey.
By the way, fantastic work, Lola.
Really great.
Thanks.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Er, Stefan? Do you fancy a coffee? Only, I've got loads of things to ask you about the competition.
Yeah.
Sure.
One, two.
One, two.
"This is Britannia High Radio!" OK.
A double decaf skinny organic with extra foam and whipped cream latte for you.
And a coffee for me.
You've erman extraordinary amount of cream.
Oh.
There.
Most of it's gone.
There you go.
It's good for the skin.
So So You wanted to ask me some stuff about dancing.
Oh.
Dancing.
Yeah.
Right.
About this competition.
Do you really think I have a chance? I think you've got MORE than a chance.
If you keep working the way you have been, you could win this.
There's nothing like the buzz of performance.
But I began teaching, and I found I loved teaching more.
And I'm a better teacher than I am a performer.
Really? Really.
(CHUCKLES) Oh, my gosh.
Easy living Killed the young dudes in the high boots Teenage, in the pace age That's when love burns, now it's your turn Fascination Fascination, it's just the way we feel That was really great fun.
Yeah.
Erm, listen, I'mer, I'm late.
For some mates.
Will you be OK to get home from here? Of course.
Yeah.
Well, I'llsee you tomorrow.
READS: And when we kissed, the whole world stopped.
Read some more, read some more.
DOOR OPENS Hello.
Hello.
Hey.
Hi.
Ahhh! The radio show.
Hmm.
Yeah.
The radio show.
I've been sat there like a lemon for ages.
I'm so sorry.
Listen, we - They stole Lola's diary.
She's having an affair with Stefan.
Give me that.
Oh, that's the juicy bit there.
Ow! This can't be right.
It's all there.
In pink and white.
This is Lola.
She's not the most mature girl in school, is she? Yeah, you're not wrong.
Yesterday at lunch, she spelled out her name in chips.
You don't reckon she's making it up.
Never mind that.
We need to get that diary back in her bag.
DOOR OPENS I found I know What a night of complete fantastability.
Me and Stefan went for a coffee.
Then we found this fairground and we went on all the rides.
It was so funny.
(ALL LAUGH) Fairground.
Big wheel.
Like a park.
ErmOh, my God.
A rat.
SQUEALING Is that a rat? Oh, sorry.
It's just one of Mrs Troy's fluffy mules.
Good one.
Anyway, I'm gonna have a shower and tell you all about my night.
Today's just been my top ten days of all time.
Right after the time I got knocked unconscious by Cat Deeley on a moped.
I still don't buy it.
It's kind of weird.
He is a teacher.
Give it a rest.
It's hot.
Finally it makes Lola cool.
Yeah.
And we need to keep this to ourselves, OK? Buzz killer.
Hey, bumper-car bandit.
A great time yesterday, wasn't it? Is anyone sitting here? No.
Be my guest.
The plot thickens.
Hey, Ronnie.
Is it true they're going out? There goes keeping it to ourselves.
You are joking.
It's in her diary.
Seeing as you're staff here, I think you might be the perfect mole to do a bit of digging.
Hi, Stefan.
Hi.
So, erm Any plans for the weekend? Just the usual - catch up on sleep and play some footie, I expect.
You? Erm Dance class and macrame.
I like to keep myself busy.
Soyou're notseeing your girlfriend? No, I'm a sad single man, I'm afraid.
Oh.
Really? I meanI'm flattered, but I'm not really looking to date.
Oh, no.
No.
I didn't mean Oh.
I just I'm sorry.
I just Anyway, I've got a boyfriend.
Actually, he'serm, one of the students at the school.
Is that weird? I shouldn't see why.
I just thought there was some rule aboutstaff and students or something.
Oh, for teachers it's a massive no-no, but Right.
Yeah.
Who is it, by the way? What? Your boyfriend? Oh.
ErmJez.
Jez? Gay Jez? Oh.
He says he's over that now.
"Let's go to a whole new dimension.
" "Jez and BB on Britannia High Radio.
" For the first segment we want to know what it is that surprised you when you joined here.
Was it the amount of work? Or the cost of the canteen cappuccino? Let us know and we'll read out the funniest entries.
We have one of our students with us now who might like to kick us off.
Yeah, so Lauren, what surprised you most when you started here? Well ErmI suppose meeting smarmy superficial people who tell you what you want to hear and then break your heart.
Actually, it's more like taking your heart out of your chest, laying it on the floor and smashing it to smithereens with a sledge hammer.
Too much? Don't give up on me Don't say you've had enough Cos I know I drive you crazy with what I've put you through Just need a purpose Just need a piece of mind Cos I know I drive you crazy with all I put you through I'm reaching out for you, I'm reaching out for you I don't know what else I should do I don't know, I don't know Help me! Find my way Help me! I'm not OK Help me! Everybody gets lost sometimes And needs help along the way Help me! I need praise Help me! To make a change Brilliant.
Best one yet, I reckon.
You are going to cream the competition, my little Frankenstein's monster.
I've not had the chance to do my face yet.
No, no, no.
It's erm You look fab, trust me.
Have you thought about what you're gonna wear? No, which is unlike me.
I missed half my grandma's funeral because I had to go back and change.
That must have been upsetting.
No.
I looked fab in the end.
Do you want to grab a coffee and we can talk about my outfit? You must besick of spending all this time with me.
No.
Fair enough.
Come on, then.
Have YOU heard about Jez and Ronnie? Our radio show's gonna rock, man.
I'm glad you got Lauren involved.
Yeah, we are too.
She's a godsend, actually.
Most definitely.
I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
For the way things happened with me and Danny and stuff.
Oh, forget about it.
I have.
I mean, we're all here, new experiences.
It's not like it was some bigromance or anything.
Guys.
Guys.
Lola.
Quick.
I've been thinking about getting my nose done.
At your age? Are you nuts? You have a beautiful nose.
No.
All the female members of my family have the same nose.
Except my aunt.
Hers is perfect.
Not her real nose? Not my real aunt.
Feel it.
There's a bump there.
Feel.
Still think she made it up? I don't know.
Maybe she had an eyelash on her cheek or something.
Oh, please.
Would you sit over a frothy coffee with Nugent if it was his paws all over your face? Eugh! Cappuccino.
And a latte for your lovely lady.
Oh, no.
She's not - .
.
supposed to drink coffee after six, but thank you.
You'll get me in trouble.
Do you mind if I do something? What was that for? Erm, for believing in me.
I still can't believe it.
I know.
He's a teacher.
Not that.
The fact that airhead has bagged herself such a hottie.
Just think, Claudine.
With Lola and Stefan together, you and Danny ain't the hottest couple in school any more.
We don't care.
Me and Claudine are - Hang on.
What do you mean? Well, BB is right.
Lola did just kind of shoot up the college hierarchy.
I mean, Danny, you might be cute.
Thank you.
Ish.
But Stefan, I mean - He's a man.
Not a boy.
Go, Lola! Go, Lola.
Hi, guys.
You've got something on the end of your nose.
Chocolate, I think.
Me and Stefan went for a coffee.
Hmm.
And what did you have for dessert? Carrot cake.
Listen.
We think it's cool.
I mean, he's really gorgeous.
Yeah, you know, and what you do is your own business.
We saw you.
BB All over Stefan in the coffee shop.
Yo! We just like hanging out.
Doing stuff together.
And we know what kind of stuff.
I wonder if Stefan likes soup.
Is it pea and ham? Or ham and pea? Did you read my diary? Don't look at us.
Me and Dan had nothing to do with it.
Big up for the solidarity, Claudine.
Listen, I admit it.
It was me and BB.
But we only did it for a prank - It's private.
So it's true, then? We wondered if you'd kind ofmade it up.
Of course it's true.
It still doesn't make it any of your business.
But he's a lot older than you.
Do you know what you're getting yourself into? What is this? The Spanish Exhibition? Who made you Judge Judy and executioner? Judge, JURY - Stop correcting me.
You're always treating me like a kid.
I know what I'm doing.
Stefan's a wonderful, caring, amazing person.
Which is more than I can say for any of you.
And the reason I didn't tell you is because I knew you'd react like kids.
Grow up.
Oh, andbefore you have a go at me for keeping secrets, you wanna ask Jez about him and Ronnie.
He's not even gay.
I am.
She wouldn't even speak to me this morning.
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I feel awful.
I feel rotten.
I feel naughty.
Come on, Dan.
What are you gonna do? I'm just gonna be friendly.
It's all right.
I spoke to Stefan and he's not going out with Lola.
And Frank Sinatra's dead.
What? He means that's old news.
They're an item.
Yeah.
Heard it from the horse's mouth.
Come on.
Would you two like us to leave you alone? Ah.
About that.
Hey, guys.
All right if we sit? Course.
So Lola tells me your private sessions are going well.
Private sessions? For the dance competition? Well, yeah, I think she's got a really good chance of winning.
I was just wondering if you guys fancied doing something tonight.
Maybe see a film? I don't know.
I so love double dates.
And there's this really tacky zombie flick that Danny wants to see.
Or we can go to that place Lola was telling us about.
The fairground.
I'd love to go up against you on the dodgems.
It would be awesome.
ErmI'm not sure what you think is going - We're fine with you guys.
OK? We actually think it's quiet cute.
Yeah, man.
Chillax.
We've got it zipped.
Erm, yeah, I've actuallygotta go.
Sorry.
Not a zombie lover, then? No.
Leave it open.
What was all that about? Do they think we're having, erm a relationship or something? They saw us in the coffee shop.
So? What's going on? They stole my diary.
I don't understand.
I wrote things in there.
About you and me.
I kind of exaggerated things.
You know how I feel about you.
You must do.
I know you feel the same about me.
I thinkmaybe .
.
we've got too close.
And that's my fault.
But you do understand that nothing can happen between us, don't you? I could get the sack.
Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't feel anything for me.
You tease me, you breathe me, you leave me Completely out of my head My passion fed I like it, can't fight it You put dynamite, I ignite it Wanna get burned So much it hurts I never felt this way before.
You're all I ever dreamed of.
You give me life I don't know what to do Don't wanna stop I can't take my eyes off you You give me love, like an obsession So why do we have to stop? Cos every sense is telling me we know where it's gonna lead But the temptation is killer and I'm deadlocked Like an obsession She's calling, I'm falling Out of my depth without a warning What will they say? I just can't allow myself to feel this way You give me love I don't know what to do Don't wanna stop I can't take my eyes off you You give me love Like an obsession So why do we have to stop? You give me love I know, I know, but don't you understand? Don't wanna stop I'm just trying hard to be a better man You gave me love Like an obsession So why do we have to stop? Cos every sense is telling me we know where it's going to lead But the temptation is killer and I'm deadlocked Like an obsession Like an obsession So why do we have to stop? I do like you.
But you're my student.
If you weren't - Thenwe could be together someday? Maybe.
THINKS: Me and Stefan had a heart-to-heart today.
Everything's out in the open.
Thank God.
Hi.
Hey.
I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
About the diary thing especially.
I was furious when I found out that the boys had taken it.
And when I found out about you and Stefan, I - Just couldn't resist a peak? I feel awful.
I guess I was thinking more about me and Danny than I was about you and Stefan.
There's me pretending I'm cool about him and Claudine, butit hurts.
I just didn't want to see you go through the same thing.
Just cos Danny broke your heart, it doesn't mean Stefan's gonna break mine.
I know.
I think you should go for it, babe.
As we know, as dancers, much of our core strength comes from the pelvic floor muscles and the abs which Jez will get any day soon.
As long as I'm here to amuse.
Erm You were going on to talk about my apparently non-existent abs.
Yes.
Yes.
So BELL Can we talk? It's important.
Maybe we can go somewhere? ErmI think perhaps we shouldn't see each other outside of school any more.
We can.
I've worked it all out.
I'm gonna leave Britannia High.
I found another school that will take me.
And thenwe can be together.
Properly.
Are you enjoying our carbon-neutral pottery? BOTH: Yeah! You know, they cost nothing.
Cos the clay is from our garden.
I just hope them cats aren't doing their business out there again.
Just, ermsome bits and pieces of yours from my room.
Lauren Ohh.
That's the wrong bag.
That one was meant for the charity shop.
And there's me going for mature and dignified.
Right.
You'll never guess what she's gonna do now.
Dye herself blue and travel the world as a cartwheeling Smurf? I'm leaving at the end of the week.
I've found somewhere else that will take me.
Then me and Stefan can be together properly.
So you're seriously leaving? Again.
This is all my fault, isn't it? If I hadn't stolen your diary No, listen.
About that.
The stuff I wrote about me and Stefan? Well, I made it up.
Made it up? It was just a fantasy.
You don't think leaving this school to be with Stefan is not taking this a bit too far? No, it started like that.
And then me and Stefan got closer and closer.
And it kind of came true.
Oh, so it's likea magic diary? Yeah, I guess.
Any chance I could write something in there about me and Rihanna? Sorry, everyone.
Can I have your attention, please? Bit of a mess this morning.
Unfortunately, Stefan's had to leave the school.
What happened? He called me this morning.
He said he had to go back to Australia.
Personal issues, he said.
So he's just gone? He had to pack and get to Heathrow for lunchtime.
That's all I know.
So you lot have the morning off.
I've got to find us a new dance teacher.
It must be his parents or something.
Lola.
He wouldn't just leave me.
Listen.
No.
I don't want to hear it.
He's not answering.
Have you got any money? When everything is over will you stay a while? When everyone has left me, don't you go Heart spilling out, arms open wide, please stay a while What are you doing? Lola? What are you doing here? You remembered my name? I guess that's something.
Lola, please.
Listen.
How could you do this to me? I can't turn your life upside down, make you leave school.
But it's my choice.
And this is mine.
I'm sorry, I I was up all night, thinking about you, about us.
And I knew if I saw you and talked to you about it, that you'd just try to talk me out of it.
So you were just gonna leave without telling me? I thought it would be easier if you hated me.
You'd get over it quicker.
Stay.
Please.
Go back to the checkout and tell themyou changed your mind.
The check-in? I've got to go.
I love you.
I know.
Hope has gone Hope has gone Being apart is now the place where we belong Oh, we tried Oh, we tried Our only future now Is living separate lives So what good is love? When it goes And takes its toll on us Is anybody out there? Is anybody watching us? I hope you know I hope you know In spite of everything this world has put us through I loved you What good is love? When it goes And takes its toll on us Is anybody out there? Is anybody watching us? Can anybody help us? Cos you could fight an army With just one sigh Hope you know I hope you know In spite of everything This world has put us through I loved you And still do This is gonna be the best end-of-year show ever.
Is there something you're not telling us? What are they looking for in the auditions? What they're always looking for.
The triple threat.
Wicked.
I'll have some of that.
Lauren's test results.
You mean a lot to her, Danny.
I need your help.
I'm at the hospital.
Wake up! Wake up! Wake up and live your life Wake up! Wake up! It'll be all right When you feel it, and you know it Wanna shout it, wanna show it When you feel it, and you know it Wanna shout it, wanna show it Wake up! Wake up! And live your life!