Carmen Sandiego (2019) s01e07 Episode Script
The Chasing Paper Caper
1 [theme music playing.]
Where in the world Is Carmen Sandiego? Sandiego Where in the world Is Carmen Sandiego? Esteemed fellow VILE Faculty, as you know, I, Gunnar Maelstrom, have been called demented, deranged, psychotic, even.
Justifiably? Perhaps.
But I feel these are merely labels, safe ways to categorize my unique intellect, which enables me to see opportunity where others do not.
So allow me to draw your attention to this, the very foundation of law and order in the Western world.
Looks more like a lion cub sniffing its own tail if you ask me.
Wrong slide.
This.
The Magna Carta! - You're saying words I don't understand.
- Ugh! Coach Brunt, I suspect you are familiar with the US Constitution? Darn right.
I'm Texas proud.
Think of the Magna Carta as the British version of it, written more than 500 years earlier.
And for the first time in history, every known original copy of this historic document, all 17 of them, will be on display under one roof.
Here, at this renowned museum in Mumbai, India.
Which means we have an opportunity to steal it in the name of law and disorder.
Would I be correct in assuming that you have a particular operative in mind for this misdeed, Professor? The crime involves stealing paper, does it not? She is far from ready.
Questioning my sanity after my compelling intro, dear Shadowsan? Carmen Sandiego was unruly and undisciplined when she was a student here, and your newest star pupil is cut from the same cloth.
Shall we vote? All in favor.
[grunts.]
[Player.]
You sure about this, Red? I'm not picking up chatter about VILE operatives in India from any of our usual sources.
They'll be here.
I know how Professor Maelstrom's twisted mind works, and he'd never pass up an opportunity like this.
[Carmen.]
Stealing the Magna Carta would be VILE's way of symbolizing that evil can triumph over law and order.
At least, that's what they'd tell themselves.
I think I see what you mean.
In the year 1215, England was ruled by some guy named John.
And if he were alive today, he'd probably feel right at home on VILE Island with your former teachers.
King John figured he could take anything he wanted just because he was in charge, and he abused that power constantly.
The Archbishop of Canterbury stepped in and helped shape a set of laws that gave citizens rights.
Basic stuff like you can't be arrested for no reason or have your horse taken away from you just because the king wants it.
[Carmen.]
These combined laws were named the Magna Carta, Latin for "the Great Charter of the Liberties.
" It was the chief cause of democracy in England and a huge influence on the American Constitution.
[Player.]
Speaking of democracy, India has more people than any other democracy in the world, which is where you happen to be sitting right now.
And I since I favor democracy over tyranny, VILE won't be sinking their mangy claws into any historic documents on my watch.
I'll do one last perimeter check tonight, see if I can find any weak links VILE might exploit.
[Player.]
Ready to shut down the security cams, Red? Someone already did.
She's here.
[Paper Star humming.]
[Carmen.]
She was at VILE Academy during my holdover year.
And had a reputation for putting her own spin on Shadowsan's origami lessons.
- [origami swooshing.]
- [Shadowsan grunts.]
[Carmen.]
Which didn't exactly make her teacher's pet.
[Paper Star humming.]
[humming continues.]
[Carmen.]
Museum's closed.
I'm here to give you your walking papers.
Mm.
Papers.
[grunts.]
Paper Star, I see you haven't lost your touch.
Red is a smart color for you.
It will hide the stains.
[grunts.]
- [grunting.]
- [pot shatters.]
[grunts.]
[panting.]
[grunting.]
[chuckles.]
[grunts.]
[sighs.]
Out of ammo? That'll teach you to litter.
I really should reuse, reduce and recycle.
These brochures are chock-full of cutting-edge information.
Oh, come on! All this talk about the great Carmen Sandiego, but in the flesh, you're just a paper tiger.
[meows.]
[groans.]
[Paper Star humming.]
[humming continues.]
[humming continues.]
[giggles.]
[grunts.]
Such a pretty package.
Hmm, think I'll keep you under wraps.
[Carmen grunting.]
[grunting continues.]
Mm, mm, mm.
The more you struggle, the tighter it gets.
[grunts.]
- Bye-bye, little Black Sheep.
- [alarm ringing.]
[Carmen grunts.]
[Paper Star giggles.]
[sighs.]
[camera shutter clicking.]
It seems Carmen Sandiego has found some new hobbies: arts and crafts and stealing historic documents! It is origami, the Japanese art of paper folding.
[groans.]
Right.
Dull facts, boring things.
But Carmen Sandiego's recent MO seems to be returning valuables to museums, not stealing them.
Again with the Vermeer paintings, Agent Argent? That has not been proven, so, please, do not romanticize the scoundrel.
The crime scene is also sloppier than Ms.
Sandiego normally leaves it.
Wouldn't you agree, Agent Devineaux? [Devineaux.]
Well it does look like a monsoon hit in here.
- She must have been in a hurry.
- Or a struggle.
[beeping.]
[Devineaux.]
Greetings from Mumbai.
Agents, I trust you were able to gain entry to the crime scene without incident.
This toy is incredible.
We were able to clear all local authorities away with one flash.
Your ACME keycard will provide you with Level One clearance anywhere in the world and gets you ten percent off your purchase at any company store.
Where can I find these stores? And do they carry bulk quantities of razor blades, cheese, or breath freshener? Uh [clears throat.]
Yes, the case.
ACME has just obtained this surveillance footage.
It's taken from the cafe across the street.
Unlike the museum, their security cameras weren't disabled.
Aha! Carmen Sandiego! I need you to be certain she isn't another copycat, like your snowmobile incident? You are the only ACME agent who has been face-to-face with her, Monsieur Devineaux.
That is her.
I am certain of it.
Can we roll it back 30 frames, please? Do you see that blur of color? - A second figure? - An accomplice! I was going to suggest a rival, which might explain the debris.
Whoa.
Who TP'd the place? That multicolored freak show owes me a new hat.
- [Player.]
Make her take you shopping.
- I would if she left a paper trail.
Ha! If only.
We need to find Paper Star before she hands off the Magna Cartas to the next operative.
Why not just take them back to VILE herself? Standard procedure on all VILE operations.
This way, no one operative knows too much about any given job.
If they get nabbed, they can only divulge so much information.
Well, don't sweat yet, Red.
I'm scanning all local surveillance and pushing my new facial recognition software to the max.
If she's still in India, I'll pin her down.
[Paper Star humming.]
I see I am not the only one who admires Mumbai's historic Elephanta Caves.
[Paper Star humming.]
[clears throat.]
The fish swims at midnight.
[humming continues.]
- I repeat, the fish swims at midnight.
- No need to speak in code.
Tell me where to escort this.
A designated safe house outside this country's borders, I assume? What? That is not how this works.
Protocol dictates that you give me the package to deliver! Protocol exists to protect VILE should an operative get caught.
You look like an operative who would get caught.
I have completed more successful missions than you, Pippi Punkstockings! Now, give me the package.
- [swooshes.]
- Ouch! [whimpers.]
Perhaps the fish does swim at midnight.
You gave me a paper cut! Puffer fish.
Very lethal.
It will give you a thousand paper cuts unless you tell me the next drop location.
- [slashes.]
- Ouch! No, not my hands.
Not my hands! - [slashes.]
- [screams.]
Where is she now? On her way to Agra City.
And how did she learn of Agra? [stammers.]
I had no choice! She is psychotic! [laughs.]
Merely a label, you know.
[Player.]
This was taken less than an hour ago, on a ferry coming into Mumbai Harbor.
Looks like our litterbug is still packing the Magna Cartas.
Can you access the passenger list? Coming your way.
Tammy Origami.
She's going by an alias.
That's not too obvious.
It's Paper Star's way of saying, "Come and get me if you dare.
" - [seagulls screeching.]
- Which suits me just fine.
Player, I need you to cross-check that name against any mode of transportation you can think of.
[Carmen.]
Plane tickets, train tickets, car rentals.
Found her.
Tammy bought a one-way ticket to Agra City on the 9:30 a.
m.
express train.
Guess she wants to see the Taj Mahal.
Let's chase that paper.
- Target spotted.
- [Player.]
You gonna make a move? In close quarters like this with a wild card like her? Someone could get hurt.
I'll strike the moment she steps off the train.
Until then, I just need to stay out of her sight while keeping her in mine.
Ms.
Sandiego, I presume.
Ugh.
I almost did not recognize you without your evening wear.
Aren't you a bit out of your jurisdiction, Inspector Devineaux? I recently acquired greater authority.
That's awfully vague, Inspector.
Is it even "Inspector" anymore? Enough chitchat! Where are you hiding the Magna Cartas? Me? Nowhere.
But they are closer than you think.
[phone beeping.]
You will take me to them.
Or what? You'll cuff me? Why, yes.
I lost you on a train once before.
Never again.
[cuffs clicking.]
[stutters.]
What? No.
No, no, no! ACME, huh? This seat taken? Actually, yes.
But feel free to use it until my partner returns.
Partner? [clears throat.]
Travel partner.
- I see.
And you are? - Julia.
So, Jules off to see the Taj Mahal? Oh, I wish.
The architecture, the history.
Sadly, I'm traveling on business.
Don't like your job, huh? No, no.
I love my job.
I just love history even more, I suppose.
Then you must really be upset about the Magna Carta.
What? The theft, it's in all the news.
Wonderful chatting with you, Jules! But I never did get your name.
[gasps.]
Come on, come on.
Agent Devineaux, I found Carmen San [Chase.]
You've reached Inspector Chase Devineaux.
- Please leave a message.
- [beeps.]
Oh, dear.
[train horn blows.]
[Paper Star grunts.]
Hey! [both grunting.]
[groans.]
[toilet flushes.]
Stinks running out of paper.
Now, can we try chatting without killing any trees? You should run.
[both grunting.]
[both grunting.]
Care to run now? [growls.]
Nowhere to hide.
Not very smart.
Oh, really? Wind beats paper.
Rah! [both grunting.]
[gasps.]
[both grunting.]
[Paper Star shouts.]
Whoa! [grunts.]
[grunting.]
Here goes nothing.
[grunts.]
[grunts.]
[crow cawing.]
[Devineaux groaning.]
- Agent Devineaux? How did you? - [grunts.]
Never mind that! The keys are in my briefcase! [train horn honks.]
[gasps.]
- [Player.]
So, you have the docs? - They're in good hands.
Though it seems our friend Inspector Chase Devineaux may be running with a slicker outfit these days.
Picked his pocket.
Think you can hack a keycard? Worth a try.
Send it over.
[gasps.]
[Shadowsan.]
Did you not assure us that Paper Star was ready? I never instructed her to break protocol.
[Paper Star humming.]
Faculty only, sassy-pants.
But my ears were burning.
You failed to complete your mission.
[Paper Star.]
Guilty as charged.
But I never come to a party empty-handed.
[theme music playing.]
Where in the world Is Carmen Sandiego? Sandiego Where in the world Is Carmen Sandiego? Esteemed fellow VILE Faculty, as you know, I, Gunnar Maelstrom, have been called demented, deranged, psychotic, even.
Justifiably? Perhaps.
But I feel these are merely labels, safe ways to categorize my unique intellect, which enables me to see opportunity where others do not.
So allow me to draw your attention to this, the very foundation of law and order in the Western world.
Looks more like a lion cub sniffing its own tail if you ask me.
Wrong slide.
This.
The Magna Carta! - You're saying words I don't understand.
- Ugh! Coach Brunt, I suspect you are familiar with the US Constitution? Darn right.
I'm Texas proud.
Think of the Magna Carta as the British version of it, written more than 500 years earlier.
And for the first time in history, every known original copy of this historic document, all 17 of them, will be on display under one roof.
Here, at this renowned museum in Mumbai, India.
Which means we have an opportunity to steal it in the name of law and disorder.
Would I be correct in assuming that you have a particular operative in mind for this misdeed, Professor? The crime involves stealing paper, does it not? She is far from ready.
Questioning my sanity after my compelling intro, dear Shadowsan? Carmen Sandiego was unruly and undisciplined when she was a student here, and your newest star pupil is cut from the same cloth.
Shall we vote? All in favor.
[grunts.]
[Player.]
You sure about this, Red? I'm not picking up chatter about VILE operatives in India from any of our usual sources.
They'll be here.
I know how Professor Maelstrom's twisted mind works, and he'd never pass up an opportunity like this.
[Carmen.]
Stealing the Magna Carta would be VILE's way of symbolizing that evil can triumph over law and order.
At least, that's what they'd tell themselves.
I think I see what you mean.
In the year 1215, England was ruled by some guy named John.
And if he were alive today, he'd probably feel right at home on VILE Island with your former teachers.
King John figured he could take anything he wanted just because he was in charge, and he abused that power constantly.
The Archbishop of Canterbury stepped in and helped shape a set of laws that gave citizens rights.
Basic stuff like you can't be arrested for no reason or have your horse taken away from you just because the king wants it.
[Carmen.]
These combined laws were named the Magna Carta, Latin for "the Great Charter of the Liberties.
" It was the chief cause of democracy in England and a huge influence on the American Constitution.
[Player.]
Speaking of democracy, India has more people than any other democracy in the world, which is where you happen to be sitting right now.
And I since I favor democracy over tyranny, VILE won't be sinking their mangy claws into any historic documents on my watch.
I'll do one last perimeter check tonight, see if I can find any weak links VILE might exploit.
[Player.]
Ready to shut down the security cams, Red? Someone already did.
She's here.
[Paper Star humming.]
[Carmen.]
She was at VILE Academy during my holdover year.
And had a reputation for putting her own spin on Shadowsan's origami lessons.
- [origami swooshing.]
- [Shadowsan grunts.]
[Carmen.]
Which didn't exactly make her teacher's pet.
[Paper Star humming.]
[humming continues.]
[Carmen.]
Museum's closed.
I'm here to give you your walking papers.
Mm.
Papers.
[grunts.]
Paper Star, I see you haven't lost your touch.
Red is a smart color for you.
It will hide the stains.
[grunts.]
- [grunting.]
- [pot shatters.]
[grunts.]
[panting.]
[grunting.]
[chuckles.]
[grunts.]
[sighs.]
Out of ammo? That'll teach you to litter.
I really should reuse, reduce and recycle.
These brochures are chock-full of cutting-edge information.
Oh, come on! All this talk about the great Carmen Sandiego, but in the flesh, you're just a paper tiger.
[meows.]
[groans.]
[Paper Star humming.]
[humming continues.]
[humming continues.]
[giggles.]
[grunts.]
Such a pretty package.
Hmm, think I'll keep you under wraps.
[Carmen grunting.]
[grunting continues.]
Mm, mm, mm.
The more you struggle, the tighter it gets.
[grunts.]
- Bye-bye, little Black Sheep.
- [alarm ringing.]
[Carmen grunts.]
[Paper Star giggles.]
[sighs.]
[camera shutter clicking.]
It seems Carmen Sandiego has found some new hobbies: arts and crafts and stealing historic documents! It is origami, the Japanese art of paper folding.
[groans.]
Right.
Dull facts, boring things.
But Carmen Sandiego's recent MO seems to be returning valuables to museums, not stealing them.
Again with the Vermeer paintings, Agent Argent? That has not been proven, so, please, do not romanticize the scoundrel.
The crime scene is also sloppier than Ms.
Sandiego normally leaves it.
Wouldn't you agree, Agent Devineaux? [Devineaux.]
Well it does look like a monsoon hit in here.
- She must have been in a hurry.
- Or a struggle.
[beeping.]
[Devineaux.]
Greetings from Mumbai.
Agents, I trust you were able to gain entry to the crime scene without incident.
This toy is incredible.
We were able to clear all local authorities away with one flash.
Your ACME keycard will provide you with Level One clearance anywhere in the world and gets you ten percent off your purchase at any company store.
Where can I find these stores? And do they carry bulk quantities of razor blades, cheese, or breath freshener? Uh [clears throat.]
Yes, the case.
ACME has just obtained this surveillance footage.
It's taken from the cafe across the street.
Unlike the museum, their security cameras weren't disabled.
Aha! Carmen Sandiego! I need you to be certain she isn't another copycat, like your snowmobile incident? You are the only ACME agent who has been face-to-face with her, Monsieur Devineaux.
That is her.
I am certain of it.
Can we roll it back 30 frames, please? Do you see that blur of color? - A second figure? - An accomplice! I was going to suggest a rival, which might explain the debris.
Whoa.
Who TP'd the place? That multicolored freak show owes me a new hat.
- [Player.]
Make her take you shopping.
- I would if she left a paper trail.
Ha! If only.
We need to find Paper Star before she hands off the Magna Cartas to the next operative.
Why not just take them back to VILE herself? Standard procedure on all VILE operations.
This way, no one operative knows too much about any given job.
If they get nabbed, they can only divulge so much information.
Well, don't sweat yet, Red.
I'm scanning all local surveillance and pushing my new facial recognition software to the max.
If she's still in India, I'll pin her down.
[Paper Star humming.]
I see I am not the only one who admires Mumbai's historic Elephanta Caves.
[Paper Star humming.]
[clears throat.]
The fish swims at midnight.
[humming continues.]
- I repeat, the fish swims at midnight.
- No need to speak in code.
Tell me where to escort this.
A designated safe house outside this country's borders, I assume? What? That is not how this works.
Protocol dictates that you give me the package to deliver! Protocol exists to protect VILE should an operative get caught.
You look like an operative who would get caught.
I have completed more successful missions than you, Pippi Punkstockings! Now, give me the package.
- [swooshes.]
- Ouch! [whimpers.]
Perhaps the fish does swim at midnight.
You gave me a paper cut! Puffer fish.
Very lethal.
It will give you a thousand paper cuts unless you tell me the next drop location.
- [slashes.]
- Ouch! No, not my hands.
Not my hands! - [slashes.]
- [screams.]
Where is she now? On her way to Agra City.
And how did she learn of Agra? [stammers.]
I had no choice! She is psychotic! [laughs.]
Merely a label, you know.
[Player.]
This was taken less than an hour ago, on a ferry coming into Mumbai Harbor.
Looks like our litterbug is still packing the Magna Cartas.
Can you access the passenger list? Coming your way.
Tammy Origami.
She's going by an alias.
That's not too obvious.
It's Paper Star's way of saying, "Come and get me if you dare.
" - [seagulls screeching.]
- Which suits me just fine.
Player, I need you to cross-check that name against any mode of transportation you can think of.
[Carmen.]
Plane tickets, train tickets, car rentals.
Found her.
Tammy bought a one-way ticket to Agra City on the 9:30 a.
m.
express train.
Guess she wants to see the Taj Mahal.
Let's chase that paper.
- Target spotted.
- [Player.]
You gonna make a move? In close quarters like this with a wild card like her? Someone could get hurt.
I'll strike the moment she steps off the train.
Until then, I just need to stay out of her sight while keeping her in mine.
Ms.
Sandiego, I presume.
Ugh.
I almost did not recognize you without your evening wear.
Aren't you a bit out of your jurisdiction, Inspector Devineaux? I recently acquired greater authority.
That's awfully vague, Inspector.
Is it even "Inspector" anymore? Enough chitchat! Where are you hiding the Magna Cartas? Me? Nowhere.
But they are closer than you think.
[phone beeping.]
You will take me to them.
Or what? You'll cuff me? Why, yes.
I lost you on a train once before.
Never again.
[cuffs clicking.]
[stutters.]
What? No.
No, no, no! ACME, huh? This seat taken? Actually, yes.
But feel free to use it until my partner returns.
Partner? [clears throat.]
Travel partner.
- I see.
And you are? - Julia.
So, Jules off to see the Taj Mahal? Oh, I wish.
The architecture, the history.
Sadly, I'm traveling on business.
Don't like your job, huh? No, no.
I love my job.
I just love history even more, I suppose.
Then you must really be upset about the Magna Carta.
What? The theft, it's in all the news.
Wonderful chatting with you, Jules! But I never did get your name.
[gasps.]
Come on, come on.
Agent Devineaux, I found Carmen San [Chase.]
You've reached Inspector Chase Devineaux.
- Please leave a message.
- [beeps.]
Oh, dear.
[train horn blows.]
[Paper Star grunts.]
Hey! [both grunting.]
[groans.]
[toilet flushes.]
Stinks running out of paper.
Now, can we try chatting without killing any trees? You should run.
[both grunting.]
[both grunting.]
Care to run now? [growls.]
Nowhere to hide.
Not very smart.
Oh, really? Wind beats paper.
Rah! [both grunting.]
[gasps.]
[both grunting.]
[Paper Star shouts.]
Whoa! [grunts.]
[grunting.]
Here goes nothing.
[grunts.]
[grunts.]
[crow cawing.]
[Devineaux groaning.]
- Agent Devineaux? How did you? - [grunts.]
Never mind that! The keys are in my briefcase! [train horn honks.]
[gasps.]
- [Player.]
So, you have the docs? - They're in good hands.
Though it seems our friend Inspector Chase Devineaux may be running with a slicker outfit these days.
Picked his pocket.
Think you can hack a keycard? Worth a try.
Send it over.
[gasps.]
[Shadowsan.]
Did you not assure us that Paper Star was ready? I never instructed her to break protocol.
[Paper Star humming.]
Faculty only, sassy-pants.
But my ears were burning.
You failed to complete your mission.
[Paper Star.]
Guilty as charged.
But I never come to a party empty-handed.
[theme music playing.]