Casual (2015) s01e07 Episode Script

1 Previously on Casual.
Who's the worst person I look like? How about an upside-down mop? What's wrong with you? Thought you were happy Mom left.
Maybe I'm not supposed to be happy.
A sexually active woman is a powerful force.
She exudes the scent.
What if I don't have a scent? You just need to meet another wolf to bring it out.
- Have you talked to Emile? - No.
You don't know what he did? I just want him to notice me.
This may sound crazy.
Do you want to go out sometime? - So the guy with the tats - Jake.
- Jake.
- Yeah, my boyfriend.
You read my profile, right? - It said I was open.
- Oh, man.
Okay, pick 'em out.
Okay, her, her, and her.
Well, she's got cat glasses, so right off the bat she's a kill.
- Glasses can come off.
- No, but cat glasses are a type.
She probably rides a bike with a little basket.
Ugh, just get a car.
Then what would she brag about? Now, this girl I think I'd probably marry.
Yeah, but that tramp stamp.
I mean, you could never have sex from behind again.
- Shit, yeah, you're right.
- Yeah.
Probably has Urban Outfitters tapestries just covering every square inch of her house.
Oh, white people.
You'd think they invented yoga.
- What? - No, it's just it's Jake.
Just so I'm clear, he's your boyfriend, and we're what? Dating? If we're doing labels, yeah.
And you can both sleep with whoever you want.
- No questions asked? - We're fluid.
If something's missing, we just go out and get it.
Sometimes together.
- Just you and him and whoever? - Interested? I prefer disappointing one person at a time.
Aw, you didn't disappoint me.
You ready? - Hi.
Um - Hi.
I thought we were gonna meet there.
- Oh, right.
- Yeah.
- Shit, I'm sorry.
- Hmm.
- Hey, buddy.
- Hey.
- How you doing? - Great.
- Great.
- Yeah, really great.
- Sorry to interrupt.
- No, it's it's fine.
- My bad.
- It's not a problem.
So should we do this? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Um I guess I'll talk to you later.
- Yeah, cool.
- Okay.
Later, man.
Ripped By mstoll What up, slut? - Yo, yo.
- Still shower nozzling? We're in a drought.
Well, you can end your dry spell tomorrow night.
What's tomorrow? My cousin is an intern at Golden Voice, and she got us invited to a party in the Hills.
No beer pong.
No basic bitches.
- There's gonna be a DJ and everything.
- Like at your bat mitzvah? Will you talk to me? Leave her alone, you fucking troll.
It's fine.
It's - I think I know what happened.
- You do? If your laptop was open, somebody could have hacked it and turned on the camera.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Probably the NSA.
Those fuckers.
Uh-huh.
How are you not freaking out about this? We're, like, on the Internet.
Who isn't? Hey, you.
Laura.
Where's that essay you owe me? Oh, right.
Um, working on it.
Hey, I was thinking of checking out the new show at the Annenberg later.
Any interest? I'm interested in reading your essay.
Go on.
You're gonna be late for class.
I thought you had a date tonight.
No, that was a daytime thing.
She's with her boyfriend tonight.
It's fine.
He knows about me.
- Alex, no.
- No? - You're not doing this.
- Well, I am.
This woman is unavailable, physically and emotionally.
But I like her.
Okay, well, find an appropriate woman to date before you get yourself into trouble.
That's gonna happen regardless.
Bye.
Have fun! - Cheers.
- Cheers.
Thank you.
- Ah, there you go.
- Yeah.
Mm.
So is this a date? - I hope so.
- Good, 'cause it feels like a date, but I haven't been on that many, so Do you do the online thing? - Little bit.
- Yeah, me too.
Well, it's pretty disappointing, huh? Last one I went on, I met a girl, and she kept asking me to high-five her.
Oh.
Yeah, drinks would come, high five.
Dinner would come, high five.
Dessert - High five.
- High five.
- Yeah.
- Wow.
I mean, yeah, how can I ever go back? - You'll go back.
- Yeah, I'll probably go back.
It's addicting.
The pictures and quippy messages.
You know what? I have Laura answer mine.
- Really? - She's very good.
How is she handling everything, by the way? She's good.
Yeah.
Transition's hard, but she's a trooper.
I just can't imagine being exposed like that.
I don't think I could handle it, especially at her age.
Exposed? It was a GIF.
All you could see was side boob.
I mean, there's worse things on American Apparel billboards.
Laura, you had intercourse on camera.
Intercourse.
That's adorable.
Why wouldn't you come talk to me about this? I'm fine.
Oh, God, he needs to be suspended imprisoned.
Nobody is going to jail.
Will you please drop it? I'm not gonna drop it.
I'm your mother.
I said drop it, okay? Just let me handle it.
He committed a crime.
Yeah, well, we checked his laptop and his phone.
- And we didn't find anything.
- So? He probably covered his tracks, you know.
He's a teenager.
They're smart with computers.
They know how to do that.
Emile? Look, if you'd like a forensic analysis, I'd be happy to put you in touch with the police.
I know how to call the police.
Ms.
Meyers, if we suspended every kid accused of sending naked pictures or videos, we'd have no students.
Short of direct evidence or a confession, there's not much I can do.
There's not much you can do.
It was The Aviator.
Uh, no, he looked good in The Aviator.
No, he started to puff in The Aviator.
It was Blood Diamond, trust me.
Okay, Laura, can you back me up? When do you think Leonardo DiCaprio went full Jack Nicholson? The Departed.
- I tried talking to them - What are you doing here? I-I'm parenting.
Hey, you know, can we do something tonight? Just the two of us.
Something fun, maybe go to a movie or something.
I've got plans.
O kay.
What time is that party? What's up? Emile made a sex tape of Laura and sent it around the school.
- How bad? - I don't know.
It's a jif or something.
GIF.
- What? - GIF.
Hard G.
Graphics Interchange Format.
You think I give a shit about phonetics? - Okay, I'm sorry.
- Listen.
The school's not gonna do anything unless he admits it.
Well, a bat is longer and easier to swing, but I think we should go with a hammer, 'cause it's nearly impossible to block.
I'll start the car.
- Oh, now? - Yeah.
Oh, um I have a thing.
- What thing? - With Emmy.
- Who's Emmy? - You know.
Oh, the girl with the boyfriend.
Um, that it's complicated.
It's not complicated.
You're her mistress.
We don't really do labels.
Hey.
Hey! You.
How dare you? I swear, I had nothing to do with it.
- Tell that to the police, Emile.
- Honest to God, Ms.
Meyers, I would never do something like that.
I respect women.
Don't "Ms.
Meyers" me, you little shit.
One of you sent that video around, and there were only two of you there.
- Where are your parents? - They're not home.
Well, I'm gonna wait.
Don't talk into your microphone at me.
I'm telling you, I had nothing to do with it.
- God, give me that thing right now.
- One, two, three, four! Are you kidding me right now? What are you doing? Pathetic.
You're pathetic.
Okay, her.
Mm, not our tempo.
Explain.
She keeps checking her watch like it's past her bedtime.
And the way she's refolding that napkin, too conscientious.
All right.
Little blonde there, in the dress.
Drinking a tonic and lime.
Interloper.
She would say yes only to end up watching.
How many times have you done this? - You really want to know? - No, I don't.
Okay, now that girl, all of her friends just left, and she ordered another drink.
Now she's on her phone swiping right.
Bottom line, she does not want to go home alone.
I don't know.
It's a stretch.
You have no faith.
I just don't want you to get your hopes up.
Also, I'm nervous.
Is it weird that I'm nervous? Aw, you're so sweet.
We'll be right back.
- What about this? - Yeah, maybe with your Chucks.
It's a Hills party.
Don't go Hot Topic.
Army jackets are timeless.
Yeah, maybe wear a chain wallet too.
Hey, ladies! Whazzup? Whazzup? Just checking in, seeing how you're all doing.
We're fine.
Okay, then.
Good.
That's a cool jacket.
- Hey.
- Hey.
I know, I'm breaking dating rules.
I'm sorry.
Don't be.
It's just, um Laura's giving me the silent treatment, and the school's not doing anything, and I mean, this is a big deal, right? Am I crazy? Laura's a teenager, and the school's run by assholes.
Look, I'm just about to cook dinner.
You want to come over? Oh, that's very sweet of you, but you don't have to do that.
I know.
I want to.
Can't win 'em all.
No shame in it.
She's in.
- She's in? - Yeah.
She was about text her ex-boyfriend.
We are totally saving her.
Oh.
Uh, yeah.
Okay, great.
Yeah, yeah.
We got this.
Whoo! Yeah, we're gonna need a fourth.
I can handle two women on my own.
I mean, I probably can't, but I can try.
I mean, I can call Jake.
Never mind.
I thought tonight was gonna be just about us.
In a threesome? Well? Is there someone you feel comfortable with? - Leon! - Hi, I'm Alyssa.
H-h-hello.
Lovely to meet you.
She likes you.
I thought you said your uncle was some sort of tech guy.
- He is.
- Then why is his house so old? - It's got character.
- God, you're deep.
Didn't you say he was depressed? Let's raid pill bottles.
Uh, no.
Let's not.
You're, like, allergic to fun.
Maybe we should call a car.
Hey, what's that shit on your shirt? - Hmm? - What? Let's get that double chin on Instagram, shall we? - Delete that, you twat.
- It's actually not a bad picture.
- It's not.
It's actually pretty nice.
- Let me see it.
Did you see it? - Yeah.
- How bad was it? Mmm not as bad as you think - Okay.
- But worse than you hope.
Should I watch it? I don't want to watch it.
- Ah, no, don't.
- I mean, I kind of do.
I kind of want to, just to just to know what God, how twisted is that? Did she look happy? - Hmm? - Never mind.
I should probably go.
- You sure? - Yeah.
I yes.
Thank you.
- All right.
- Thank you.
Thank you so much.
This was really it was nice.
Yeah, thank you.
I mean, you're welcome.
- I had I had fun.
- Ah, yes.
Me too.
So, um good night.
Good night.
That's a really nice coat rack right there.
Oh.
- It's from Target.
- Oh.
- Okay, this is a bad idea.
- Yeah.
This just feels really inappropriate.
Mm-hmm.
I mean, you are Laura's teacher.
Well, only till the semester ends.
Oh, God.
Maybe we we should wait.
- Maybe - Um, okay.
Um, yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Yeah, we we can wait.
Okay.
But I mean, maybe we Maybe we should just do, like, a just a trial run.
- Just to see if it's worth - Good idea.
Yeah, okay.
- Does this come off? Great.
- It does.
You can't just show up at my house and expect me to jump into this kinky shit.
Leon, you can do this.
You know what I was doing before you called? Nope.
I was watching Finding Nemo.
- Oh, I love that movie.
- Yeah, me too.
Anyway, that's what I was thinking on, how's Nemo gonna find his way out of that fish tank? I can't just pivot from clownfish to foursome.
- I need time.
I got to prep.
- Shit! It's starting.
Listen.
- What started World War I? - Colonialism? No, the guy that killed Franz Ferdinand was eating a sandwich.
He literally started a war with a mouthful of fucking turkey.
What the fuck are you talking about? It didn't go as planned, but he made it work, and now he's in the history books.
Come on, Leon, two best friends on a crazy adventure.
Like Nemo and Dory.
Look at that! Yes! You're nodding.
Yes, yes! Car's here.
V疥onos.
Hello? Um I'll meet you.
You good? Whatever.
Let's do this.
Do we, uh Just wait.
- How long? - Shh.
Thank you.
You okay? I'm fine.
Okay.
You didn't have to quit because of me.
I know.
- Leon's a good guy, right? - Yeah.
Yeah, I like him.
Doing really well in there.
He's doing very well.
Not self-conscious at all.
No, that's a big part of it.
I taught him that.
You think he's worried about me? Should we go back in there? You want to watch Nemo? Yeah.
Michael? Mom? Oh, shit, shit! Shit, shit! Laura wait, wait! Laura! Laura! Laura, wait.
Laura, wait, honey.
- Get away from me.
- Wait, no, wait.
- It's not - I don't want to talk to you.
- I came over for dinner and - Please, just shut up! - We were just I came over - Just shut up! What are you What are you doing here? - It was supposed to be me.
- What? You were supposed to fuck me! What is she talking about? Tell her.
I'm your teacher.
No.
No, don't do that.
Don't act like this was all in my head.
You you took me shooting, and you took that picture of me, and you texted me.
Laura, Laura, I I care about you as a student, and I'm sorry if you misunderstood.
You don't mean that.
You're a kid.
Laura! Okay, is this about the video? Huh? Is this about getting back at Emile? Can you please look at me? I made the fucking video.
What? Oh, God.
No.
No, you didn't.
Please, honey.
Where are you going? Home.
Ripped By mstoll