Chuck s01e07 Episode Script

Chuck Versus the Alma Mater

Hey, I'm Chuck.
Here's a couple of things you might need to know, or maybe you just forgot.
Bryce Larkin from Connecticut is a spy? A rogue spy.
Did he try to contact you? He sent me an e-mail.
Bryce sent me a database of government secrets that are now locked in my brain, keeping me in state of fear danger and anxiety.
Bryce Larkin pretended to be his buddy sexed up his girl, got him kicked out of Stanford.
If Chuck is Solo, Larkin is his Fett.
Stanford was five years ago.
You need to move on.
It's our subconscious that we're gonna be talking about today.
How can we penetrate the human mind? How can we understand it? - How many images do you see? - Two.
- Five.
- Ten.
There are hundreds of images compressed inside this picture.
The encoding is special.
You only remember that one.
Your subconscious, though, saw them all.
We'll see how you do on the final exam.
I include a section on subliminal image-recognition where you'll Um Thank you.
We'll, uh We'll end early today.
Class dismissed.
Professor, how can we isolate the? This is Glass Castle reporting hostile contact.
I made a mistake, Black Coat.
I copied intel for myself onto a disc.
They're after it.
I know I shouldn't have.
Chuck, we have an emergency.
We need to talk.
I'm on the phone.
Shh.
Not here, not here.
There are spies at the Buy More.
- Spies, really? - Yeah.
Yeah, Tang's minions, man.
They're everywhere.
He's like Sauron from Lord of the Rings.
Only, he's taken control of the assistant managership.
Yeah, from me.
Right, thanks for the reminder.
Got it, man.
Listen, we need your help.
- Help, what am I supposed to do? I'm - Just one small hobbit? So thought Frodo Baggins, my friend.
So thought Frodo Baggins.
"Rules and regulations for the Buy More break room.
From the desk of Harry Tang"? He doesn't even have a desk.
This is an affront to human decency.
"No swearing.
No expectorating.
No fornicating.
" - Wait, have people been getting freaky? - No, no.
But I like to know that I have the option.
- Okay, so it's a little strict.
- It's torture, man.
The no-drug policy includes Red Bull.
Oh, ouch.
I remember the last time you tried to detox.
How am I supposed to move electronics with the sweaty shakes? I'm sorry, fellas, but is this the Talk More? No, sir.
It's the Buy More.
So why don't you get back to helping these customers buy more electronics, Mr.
Grimes? I'm sorry, but is Harry wearing a new assistant-manager polo shirt? It's monogrammed.
- He must be stopped.
- Yeah.
Wow.
That new High-Def screen sure shows every wrinkle.
They can hear you.
What? Twinkle.
Every twinkle in her eye.
Eyes.
We have a situation.
A CIA asset has gone missing.
We've had no communication from him for two days.
- No way.
- What, did you flash? No, I don't have to.
That guy was my professor at Stanford.
Wait.
Asset, he's CIA? My professor was a spy? The CIA recruits on campuses across the country.
Professor Fleming is a company scientist, not an operative.
This is our last communication from him.
This is Glass Castle reporting hostile contact.
I made a mistake, Black Coat.
I copied intel for myself onto a disc.
They're after it.
I know I shouldn't have.
- Do we know what intel he copied? We don't.
He's handled many sensitive projects for us.
Any leak could prove devastating.
- How can we help? - Fleming has contacts in L.
A.
- Lf we find him, you can extract him.
- We'd like your help on this, Chuck.
Look, I don't think I'm your go-to guy on this one.
Your knowledge of Fleming and Stanford is key here.
We only have his official reports.
You have a personal connection.
Yeah, I do have a personal connection.
Very bad personal connection.
You guys have the file.
You know all about Fleming and what happened to me.
The guy kicked me out of school.
Professor Fleming is one of us.
Maybe you can find somebody else to help you this time.
Maybe just this once.
I'm going deep.
Who invited the UCLA brain trust? Those are Devon's fraternity brothers.
We are all caravanning up to Stanford for the UCLA game this weekend.
Hey, Chuck.
Go deep, bro.
Ooh.
Right in the pills.
Don't touch, don't.
Please don't touch me.
Come on, man.
Let me make it up to you, bro.
Get up.
I got you a ticket for the game.
Wow.
Thanks.
But, uh, Sarah and I already have plans.
It's your alma mater, dude.
Look, no offense, but I'd rather get hit in the produce section again than go back to that place.
Ha, ha.
Suit yourself.
Let's go.
Game on, boys.
- Where's the ball? Let's do this.
Uh, listen, I know that Stanford doesn't hold a lot of good memories for you Look, Ellie, Ellie.
They kicked me out for something I didn't do.
Okay? So that's it.
Me and Stanford? We're officially done.
Sucks you have to leave, Chuck.
I don't get it, Bryce.
Why are you doing this? You did this to yourself.
What? I just flashed on myself.
Why am I in the Intersect? So you don't know why I'm in the Intersect.
Well, you didn't appear on the NSA radar until after Bryce sent you the Intersect.
- Same with the CIA.
- Why don't I find that reassuring? The files that you saw were of you in college, right? Yes, yes.
Wait, what about Professor Fleming? I was in his class, he was CIA.
Could that be it? If we can find Fleming, maybe he could give us answers.
- Okay.
Let's do that.
It won't be easy.
Intel suggests the professor's being hunted.
The NSA interviewed one witness who ID'd a Magnus Einersson.
He's an Icelandic spy.
I'm sorry, Iceland does espionage? Magnus buys and sells intel to the highest bidder.
And Iceland isn't officially aware of his activities.
It says here the crossbow is his weapon of choice.
Oh, what, slingshot's too ineffective? - Hey, buddy, where you going? - What's up? My lunch break is over.
- You haven't seen? - Seen what? New staggered lunch schedule.
Dude.
Single shifts.
No more fraternization in the break room.
We can't even eat lunch together anymore.
No more Wednesday-Friday surf and turf? Harry Tang is drunk with power.
He could have an accident.
I'm just saying, I know a guy, very reasonable.
His rates, I mean.
Not him.
Way to think outside of the box, Anna.
Me likey.
- What do you say, Chuck? - Are you two crazy? What? I'm not gonna have a guy rubbed out just because he upsets our lunch routine.
I see.
So you've already thrown in the towel? Cool.
Not me, Chuck.
I'm not getting pushed around anymore.
No way.
I hope you were aiming for the recycling bin, Grimes now that I'm instituting a new Buy More Green program.
Tree-hugging is all the rage these days.
And I plan on exploiting the burgeoning conscience of the American consumer.
Oh, that's very inspiring, Harry.
I'm gonna be the one who breaks you, Grimes.
You know why? Because you're soft.
Like pudding.
I've been doing all these crunches, man.
I know, buddy.
- Yeah.
You didn't offer to kill Harry for Anna, did you? No.
Why, you want me to kill him? No.
No, just curious.
We just got a hit off a traffic camera in Hollywood.
- That's Fleming.
- Thanks.
You saved me a lot investigative work there.
- The DMV told me that.
- Wow.
Sarcasm, what a surprise.
We located car Fleming's driving, local address.
We're bringing him in a.
s.
a.
p.
- What do you need me for? - Yours is a friendly face.
Professor sees you, he'll be more inclined to cooperate, copy? Yeah, except that I wasn't the professor's star pupil.
We leave in three.
As you're aware, you scored perfectly on your midterm exam.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, I was up all night studying.
- It was a monster.
- No offense.
You even aced the last section.
Encoded images.
Yeah, those were just kind of a shot in the dark.
You may be aware, I keep an answer key to every exam locked inside this office.
No, no, I wasn't aware of that.
Really? Then how do you explain the midterm answer key being found in your fraternity room? I'm sorry.
You searched my room? We received the tip from a student this morning.
What? You got a tip about my room? I need to know how you broke into this office and stole the answers, Chuck.
I didn't steal anything.
I don't have to, I'm acing your class.
Exactly.
The student also claimed that you're selling copies.
What? I know you're a scholarship student and Stanford is a very expensive school.
Look, whoever gave you your tip was lying.
Our source was Bryce Larkin.
Your roommate.
All right.
We all know the game.
We all know the rules.
This is Fingers of Fury.
The win goes to the contestant who can identify the most TV shows in a minute.
All right.
Who do you want next? I challenge the ruling champion, Morgan Grimes.
That's Mr.
Morgan Grimes, if you're nasty.
- Really? - Oh, the suspense.
- You don't want me, punk.
- I do.
- Challenge accepted.
- Bang.
On my mark.
Three, two, one.
Mark.
Dukes of Hazzard.
One Tree Hill.
Veronica Mars.
Cold Case.
Gilmore Girls.
Nip Tuck.
- Animaniacs.
Growing Pains.
- Smallville.
O.
C.
, season two.
Pinky and the Brain.
- Underrated.
- Kung Fu: The Movie.
- Night Court.
Night Court.
They're not changing.
Anna, the channels are not changing.
It is now mine.
The one remote that controls them all.
The master remote.
- Your slacking days are over.
- Tang, there aren't even any customers.
Three repair orders just came in which you nerds would know if you were at your stations.
And, Grimes, since there aren't any more customers I need a cleanup in the diaper-changing station.
Wear a mask.
We'll extract the professor as quickly as possible.
You'll keep watch? If I flash on any bad guys, I'll call.
Everything looks quiet, but I know, I know, stay in the car.
Okay, good.
Let's go.
Professor Fleming.
Hey.
No, no, no, wait, professor, it's me, Chuck.
Professor, stop.
We're here to extract you, Glass Castle.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.
But it's It's Chuck.
I was in your Psychology and Symbolism class at Stanford.
- I don't know if you remember me.
- Chuck Bartowski.
Of course I remember you.
Ha, ha.
I guess it's not every day you kick a guy out of school, huh? At least, I hope not.
So you're, uh, with the Agency now.
- Why didn't you say so? - I don't think I'm supposed to, really.
Well, we have code phrases.
- Didn't they train you? - I mostly just stay in the car.
Next time, if it's a dangerous situation, say, "Are you coming to the toga party?" "Are you coming?" A real code phrase.
I like it.
That's awesome.
What are we doing? Who's bringing me in? Oh, right.
Yeah.
So Sarah and Casey will do that.
But, um, I was wondering if I could ask you something first.
Why did the CIA have a file on me at Stanford? I'm sorry.
Oh, hey.
Hey.
Hey, hey, buddy.
Let's not beat ourselves up.
You know, the past is the past.
Okay.
Look, we didn't really know each other that well at college.
And this is a little awkward, so What the? Oh, boy.
Hey, hey, hang in there.
- Hang in there.
- I put in Give this to Bryce Larkin.
Bryce? Bryce Larkin? What? What did Bryce have to do with this? Ah.
Ah.
I'm nobody, I swear.
Casey, come on.
Over here.
Man down, man down! Help me! Help.
Hey, hey, come on.
Come on.
I'm sorry, Chuck, but we have to talk.
Okay.
So how was the hospital? Is the professor gonna be okay? - They're putting him into surgery now.
- We can't talk to him, sort this mess out.
- You sure it was Magnus you saw? - Gee, I don't know, Casey.
How many psycho archers do you know? I asked Fleming about why I was in the Intersect.
- Should've brought him to you, sorry.
- It's not your fault.
I keep thinking about what he said.
Why would he want me to bring those numbers to Bryce? Bryce must have been one of his CIA contacts.
Fleming was probably never told of his death.
List off the numbers you remember.
There were like 10 of them.
A couple of nines.
- Five, started with a two.
That's it? - You have a computer for a brain? - It was a very stressful situation, okay? I watched a guy get skewered by a crossbow.
Look, Fleming knew something.
Before he fell, he said, "I'm sorry.
" Why would he say that? I don't know, Chuck.
Yeah, well, I think he might know why I'm in the Intersect.
You okay? It's not late for you to change your mind about revisiting the old alma mater.
- Spending time with me and Devon.
- Oh, please.
You just don't wanna be stuck in a car alone with Awesome's frat buddies.
Maybe, or maybe I'm your sister and I care about you and I think that going back to Stanford would help you to move on.
I love you, sis.
And I'd take a lot of bullets for you but five hours in a car with Awesome and his bros, that is asking too much.
Besides, if I came, you wouldn't have room for your fun old foam finger.
- Stop it.
- What is this? I don't know, but look at what I found.
See this? It was in my old college stuff.
"The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire.
" You want me to return it to the Stanford Library for you? No.
No, I'd kind of like to finish it.
- See how it ends.
- That book is like four years overdue.
What do you think Stanford's gonna do, huh? Expel me? You're a dead man, Chuck Bartowski.
All right.
Come on, Bryce.
Give it up, buddy.
I know you're out of ammo, I've been counting.
Buddy.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You wouldn't fire at an unarmed guy.
I might.
It's hardly sportsmanlike.
What's this? Gynecology for Geeks.
- You read this? - No, is it a good read? Got you.
Larkin over Bartowski again.
I know what the numbers mean.
They're for a book in Stanford Library.
Bryce had a place where he would stash stuff.
He told Fleming about it.
Fleming must have left the intel there for Bryce.
It's a matter of time before Magnus figures it out and beats us to the book.
- Bingo.
- Unless we can beat him to it.
Bryce kept his stuff on the third floor.
There was a turn There was a turn I'd have to be there to remember.
I can't believe I'm about to say this, but I have to go back to Stanford.
Cool.
This is really freaking me out.
It's like nothing has changed.
Is that good or bad? It's, uh It's, you know Yeah, it's Yeah.
Woo! Go Bruins, huh? Devon, put me down.
- Put me down.
Stop it.
Ha-ha-ha.
You ladies ready to rock? Yeah, when you put it that way, maybe not.
Okay.
- Nice barbecue.
Woo! "Woo" you.
Uh, you wanna meet us at the stadium? I think we're gonna hang out here until the game starts.
Yeah.
I'm gonna take Sarah for the Chuck Bartowski memorial tour.
So call me if any rabid Stanford fans decide to put Awesome in the hospital.
Ah.
See you.
- Have fun.
- Bye.
Plant a Stanford tree.
Create a renewable resource for your children's future.
You wanna save our environment, huh? Take a shower, hippie.
Nice job blending in with the crowd.
Who you rooting for, death? Enh.
Leave the quips to me.
The library's this way, across the quad.
What is it? I don't know, I figured this'd be tough, but this place is just a lot to take in, you know.
I used to have so much fun here, and then And then? It was the worst day of my life, getting kicked out of here.
Having to hear Ellie's voice when I told her I was coming home.
Packing up all my stuff and leaving as Bryce just stood there.
He said I brought it on myself.
Why do you think that Bryce betrayed you? I don't know.
He's had four years to call and set the record straight.
And now that he's gone You know what? Forget it.
Bryce has betrayed a lot of people, hasn't he? Mm.
Roger that.
We have to play this really cool.
Magnus has the book number.
He could have beat us here.
Think he's in there? - Maybe you should stay here.
Yeah, that always works out well.
You can't find the book without me.
I'm going in.
Oh, no, no, no.
Looking for this? - You stole my ID? - I borrowed it to reactivate it.
Sorry, I couldn't wipe the idiot grin off your face in Photoshop.
Mm.
We have a situation.
We have a situation here.
Harry Tang is a control freak.
And his master remote is a symbol of that control.
It's his totem.
We steal the remote, and we take control of the televisions.
Rendering Harry impotent.
That's totally curable, by the way.
Here's the thing, he keeps the remote in his locker.
He does, but it's padlocked.
Harry has the only key.
- So - I can get it.
Trust me, you do not want to know.
- I do want to know.
- I wanna know.
- You guys wanna know? You shouldn't make that call.
Assistant Manager Tang? I'm busy.
I'd like your opinion about how we could streamline our standing work orders to operate more efficiently.
That's a admirable goal, young lady.
You know, your new position of authority has changed you.
You look different.
Maybe it's the new monogrammed shirt.
Maybe it's just the cut of your slacks.
I hope you plan to make other changes around the Buy More.
In fact, I can't wait for your next massive, invasive move.
Well, ahem, for starters I think that the staff sits around too far, far too often.
Thank you.
There.
There, that row.
Oh, no.
We're too late, Magnus beat us here.
He's got the book.
Hold on.
Got you.
Hold on a second.
- Gotcha.
- The intel.
The book number was just a way to mark the spot.
Let's get out here before Magnus realizes that book he has is worthless.
Hey, you, don't move.
Charles Bartowski? You still owe the library $294.
68 in late fees.
- Do you take credit cards? This isn't funny.
Chuck, run.
Head for the back door, Chuck.
It's hard to hate Stanford because they suck so hard.
I wish we were playing SC today, huh? - There you are.
Hey, you, freeze! All right, they spotted us.
Okay, we have to go.
- I swear this school has it in for me.
- Come on.
Excuse us, excuse us! That guy is wasted.
I want what he had.
Wake up.
Wake up.
Jackpot, baby.
Looking for something, Mr.
Grimes? Are you kidding me? You betrayed us? Nice try, pudding.
I'm not afraid of you.
You can't fire me.
No, but I can make you wish I did.
I need fresh bodies in The Hole.
Come on, dude, not The Hole.
Harry, just let's We're safe for now.
I need to see what's on this disc.
Hey, Chuck.
- That's top secret.
Yeah, well, so am I.
There could be answers on this disk about why I'm in the Intersect.
That's testing data.
And videotaped interviews.
These are students.
Exactly.
Students that were recruited into the CIA by Fleming.
Ten years worth.
It's all their current information.
No wonder Magnus wanted it so badly.
Foreign governments would pay for that.
Look at this: Bryce Larkin.
Bryce joined the CIA our junior year? - Enough.
Now we know what he's after.
- No, wait, that's me.
I'm in here too.
- Click it.
- Don't click it.
I never applied to be in the CIA.
Chuck, get down! Go! You think this would be a good time for me to be waiting in the car? I have an idea.
Get me out of here.
Chuck, when I say go, run out the side door.
Protect the disc.
We'll cover you.
Go! All right.
Computers.
Here we go.
Ow.
Okay, okay, okay.
Come on.
Excuse me.
Hello? - Hi.
Hi, is this? Is this Glenda Mitchell? We're in the science building.
It's an emergency.
Bring lots of big guns.
I'm sorry, you've got the wrong number.
Crap, there's a code phrase.
Are you coming to the toga party? There's a place you can plant it in the quad.
Let me give you directions.
We have a situation right now.
Bring any ammunition.
Any equipment you have for killing bad guys.
Are you coming to the toga party? Lots of bad guys are surrounding us.
Are you coming to the toga party? Bye-bye.
- Agent Katz? - Yeah, hey, Frodo, is that you? I thought my codename was Samwise Gamgee.
Samwise.
Why don't you get your thumb out? Morgan, this is really, really not a good time.
It's not a good time here either, okay? I'm stuck in The Hole doing customer service.
Ow! These kids are animals.
But I'm at Stanford.
What do you want me to do? Do you have the code to Harry Tang's master remote? I think I can use it to bargain for my freedom.
Okay, okay.
The code is O-U-8- 1-2-pound.
Dude, this is why you're my hero.
Thank you so much.
Throwing things at adults' heads is not That's not gonna help you in life.
Oh, no.
I got two rounds left.
- I've got half a mag.
Drop your weapons and stand up.
Hands where we can see them.
I'm gonna go for it.
- You in? - You bet.
Hate long goodbyes.
Actually, why don't you drop your weapons? - Like someone called the cavalry.
Good.
Because I only had one shot left.
Whew.
- Aren't you in econ.
With me? - Yeah.
Please don't, please don't, please don't.
Don't.
You must be Chuck Bartowski.
I just got your message.
- Are you okay? - I'm just glad you check your voice mail.
Probably got a game plan here.
He's got a good caddy.
Coming on now and breaking through the pack.
- She almost got knocked off by two - What's going on? She gets passed has only the pavement to beat for another critical point.
What's happening? Grimes! - Hey, what's up? What going on? - You reprogrammed my remote.
- Wow, you can do that? - You've gone too far, Grimes.
I've done nothing.
I've been here all day helping these lovely customers.
But I may be able to fix it.
For a price.
I want out of The Hole.
I'd rather take a potato peeler to my groin.
Okay.
Fine with me.
I hope that Big Mike doesn't get too upset, though if all the televisions just happen to change to, I don't know Passion Cove? Quid pro quo, Harry.
Yes or no? Attaboy.
Nice and easy.
Smart man.
You're dismissed.
Go ahead.
Yes.
True leader.
Yes.
The Grimes.
I can't believe that game was such a wash.
What a blowout.
Worst game ever.
It's not coming off.
I think I used the wrong kind of paint.
Well, what brand was it? Brand? I don't know.
One of the guys picked it up.
Try some stronger soap.
So how painful was it? Not the game, I mean.
Well, uh, do you remember the evening with Morgan at the karaoke club? His cover of Peter Cetera's "Glory of Love" he dedicated to you? That completely ruined Karate Kid II.
Seriously, though, thanks for pushing me.
After the initial shock and horror, it was a relief to finally go back.
Say goodbye.
I'm proud of you.
You know? You faced your past, head-on.
Did you find what you were looking for? Almost.
You'll get there.
You didn't think we'd let you keep that, did you? I need to know, Sarah.
Okay, Chuck.
Test subject 0326.
Bartowski.
This will be his first interview.
Send Chuck in.
Bryce? This isn't a good time.
I'm waiting for another student.
Chuck Bartowski? He never got your message.
What are you talking about? You put Chuck on the CIA recruitment track? It's not up to me, Bryce.
They want him for the Omaha Project.
That's a military operation.
They'll turn Chuck into I'm required to send all the top test results to the Agency.
- I want my friend out of this.
He's a perfect candidate.
Keywords in his essay responses correlate to 98 percent of the images in the exam.
You don't get it.
Chuck's a good person.
He's got too much heart for this kind of work.
He's no operative.
You can't put him out in the field.
He won't survive.
The Agency is not gonna let go of a recruit this promising.
The amount of information he can retain? They're not gonna give him a choice? He's in no matter what.
If he cheated on the exam, copied all the answers it would invalidate the results, wouldn't it? Yes.
Good.
Now you're going to help me, professor.
Bryce framed me for cheating to save me.
- Why didn't he just tell me that? - He couldn't.
They had already recruited him.
If he had a reason for getting me kicked out maybe he had a good reason to break into the Intersect too.
And maybe he had a good reason for sending it to you.
I just wish I could talk to him.
It must have tore him up to not be able to tell me.
No one can know about this.
For your own safety, okay? Sure.
No one would believe me anyway.
You're in Double-E 131? Catch you later, Bryce.
- It's pretty brutal, huh? Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I The only reason I signed up is because I'm building my own version of, uh - It's kind of embarrassing, actually.
- What? You don't remember that old computer game "Zork," do you? - "You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
" - Ha-ha-ha.
- Holy crap, you do remember "Zork.
" - I loved that game.
I haven't thought about it in a while, but It's probably a good thing.
I disagree.
It's 1999.
- Next millennium belongs to the geek.
- All right.
But still, text-based computer games don't exactly play with the chicks.
Well, this girl, Jill, on my floor is nuts about EverQuest.
- Are you serious? - Lf you want, you can meet her.
- Really? Right now? - Yeah, she's over in the quad.
Uh, yeah.
I would very much like to meet her.
- You need some help? - No, oh, no, I'm fine.
I just, you know College.
- Hi, I'm, uh, Chuck, by the way.
- Bryce.
- Nice to meet you, Chuck.
- Yeah, nice to meet you.
So, um, she really likes EverQuest, huh? I mean, it's not Yeah, I think she even plays "Zork.
" Are you kidding?
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