Cowboy Bebop (2021) s01e07 Episode Script

You ever double dinner? Does it involve two dinners? Or three.
Sounds like one too many dinner guests to me.
Life's short.
Why not have a dinner party? I'm but a simple man.
With simple tastes.
Still with the migraines? Eight days and counting.
My head feels like an Astral Gate explosion.
You know what you need? Less noise? The big "O.
" Nature's cure.
I speak from experience.
Recent experience.
And the experts agree.
- Yeah, looks scientific.
- Mmm.
You know what I've come to realize flipping through all of this fine literature? Don't care.
I've been spending way too much time limiting myself.
Life's a buffet.
I thought it was a dinner party.
Yeah, whatever it is, I'm ready to eat.
Listen, not to upend your, uh Your journey.
But, uh, you know that's not real, right? It's fantasy.
What I can't tell is real is whether or not I'm into butts or boobs.
I like bubble butts.
Hmm Bubble butts are nice, but not as nice as these little rascals.
Yeah, yeah, I'm a boob gal, for sure.
And what's this position? Blorking? Yuck! - I'm going back to bed.
- Sleep tight! I'll be reading up on pontooning and zero grav.
Ooh, I want to pontoon.
Uh, excuse me.
Hello, darlin'.
Miss me? Okay.
You get that one for free.
You've got some brass ovaries coming in here after everything you did! I need a lift.
Really? What? Off planet.
You You want me to be your interstellar taxi service now? In exchange for your Identikit? Absolutely.
Don't even try to pretend that you don't want it.
- Where? - Santo City.
In a hurry.
I need my go-bag with extreme prejudice.
Oh.
What did you do? Pretend to be someone else's mother? Believe it or not, my world doesn't revolve around my freeze-dried progeny.
But if you help me get to Santo, you just might find out what happened to your real parents.
You should know I've been crewing with cowboys, and last I remember, there's a fat-ass bounty on your head.
It is quite a lot.
But why would your cowboy friends even think to look up your dear old mother? So you want me to lie to them? Not lie.
Never! Tell stories.
Nice stories.
Really? You're Faye's mom? Yeah, so she claims.
I always thought you were hatched in a madman's lab.
She is something else, isn't she? Aw.
I've been so worried about my baby running around with a gun.
Thank God she has you two for backup.
Backup, huh? Migraine? Yeah.
What's that? What's Oh! Son of a mother.
- How did you - Oh, your posture.
I could tell you had a kink in your neck and neck pain can lead to migraines.
I used to be a masseuse.
For a Dionysian sulfur spa on Tharsis.
- I think I love you, Miss, uh - Whitney.
Whitney.
Enchanté.
Hey, so my mom was wondering if we could give her a ride to Santo City.
Ah, no can do.
Ship's grounded until after Kimmie's recital.
You have a child? - How old? - She just turned eight.
Oh, children are such a gift and so sweet at that age.
Enjoy it.
Because when the hormones hit, everything changes.
Jet, you know, if we leave now, we can get to Santo City in plenty of time for the recital.
No, Faye, it's fine.
I can't ask a father to miss his daughter's recital just to help me with my personal problems.
I'll survive.
Hopefully.
Well, that That begs a follow-up.
You see, I'm on the lam from my husband.
Faye's dad? No, he was many husbands ago, God rest his soul.
I make beautiful babies, but my taste in men, not so much.
This one is a womanizer and degenerate gambler.
He basically turned my life into a bad country song.
Broken heart, pocket full of bills.
And, uh, he was just awful to Faye.
Isn't that right, honey? Oh, yeah.
He made lots of creepy eyes at me.
Jet, Santo does have the best comms infrastructure of any city.
What? I've got a soft spot for mommies.
You're a sick man, Spike Spiegel.
- Don't be lewd.
I'm talking about mothers.
- Mmm-hmm.
Motherhood.
It's a lovely calling.
Mommies make the pain go away.
I bet.
Wow.
Look at all these peppers.
You know, I have an amazing roast pepper dumpling recipe.
Got it from a rogue monk on the far side of Trident.
Faye's favorite growing up.
Isn't that right, darling? Ah, sure was.
Jet, man, we've got plenty of time to get to Santo before the recital.
Do it for Faye.
Fine, forget Faye.
Do it for the dumplings.
All right.
I'll take you to Santo, but I want that recipe.
With pleasure.
Fins up in five.
Get us prepped topside.
Dumplings for dinner.
See? Everybody loves a nice story.
A theremin? Look, before you pass any judgment We might as well hire a magician in a bow tie and coattails to saw a man in half.
Okay, reading that as a hard no on the theremin He's alive? He's alive and you didn't tell me? Who's alive? Don't play coy.
When have you ever been nostalgic? Okay, um I'm gonna give you two a moment.
- How long have you known? - Not long.
- So he's just out there? In the world? - As far as I know.
- Where? - Didn't say.
Just that he works as a cowboy.
Goes by Spike Spiegel.
Did he ask about me? What do you think? You should have told me.
I could have gone to him.
To what end? Weren't you the one telling me, in this very office, that I should leave Vicious? Not like this.
That I had a choice? Vicious knows Spike is alive.
And he is not gonna stop hunting him until one of the two of them is dead.
If you run to him, you're gonna spend the rest of your life running, looking over your shoulder, wondering when Vicious' blade will come.
Who's to say that won't happen if I stay? Whoa! Yeah.
Make sure you have a super hot wok with just a dash of fish oil.
Be careful not to overcook.
And the key The key is to caramelize the peppers.
- A woman after my own heart.
- Please.
- Smells amazing.
- Yeah.
- Is that ginger? - Let me have a taste.
Oh Oh.
- Oh, like heaven in the mouth, isn't it? - God, let me have more of that.
Pretty cheap definition of heaven, if you ask me.
Mmm.
Faye, darling.
Um Let's see if we can find that last secret ingredient.
Sure, Mother.
You can really taste the ginger.
I know.
It's spicy.
Do you want your Identikit or not? Do you even still have it? I haven't seen you in years.
You know, it's starting to feel like the con all over again.
Something's off.
Look at Faye's body language.
Mmm-hmm.
- You know, arms crossed, defensive.
- Right.
- Like she's cornered or something.
- Mmm-hmm.
What do you think that's about? Who understands the vagaries and minutiae of the mother-daughter relationship? Not me.
Aw.
You're jealous.
The boys adore me, and of course they do.
What's not to adore? That you're a fucking liar and I should turn you in.
Try these panties on.
If I'm locked up, you can French kiss all hopes of ever knowing your past goodbye.
I don't know.
Do they really look related? I'm gonna get to the bottom of this.
Fine.
The jig is up.
A twist of lemon is what makes the magic.
So, Whitney, what was Faye like as a kid? A delight, and a terror.
She ever tell you about her, uh, one-woman band? Her botched quinceañera? When she auditioned for the Miss Ganymede pageant? What? You never told me you were from Ganymede.
I'm a Salter.
Ha! Oh.
I thought you were from Europa.
- No, I moved there for my ex-wife.
- Ah.
Where did you go to high school? - She was homeschooled.
- Explaining much.
And on that note, who wants to eat? I do! She's right, you know.
If you go to Fearless, you'll never be safe.
Ana's not the only one in the building who listens in on other people's conversations.
You'll never be safe from Vicious.
At least, not while he's still alive.
You could just let it go.
There is bliss in ignorance.
Yeah.
I'll be happier once I know.
How happy are you now? Shit! That is an impressive rap sheet.
I think I might actually like her even more.
She's a goddamn con artist.
- Either Faye's getting taken or - Or she's in on it.
Ah, shit.
Here's the thing.
I don't know Whitney.
Or All right, I do know Whitney but She got me out of cryo-sleep pretending to be my mom.
The whole thing was a scam.
I swear.
Jesus, Faye.
Can the crap.
I really thought that she was my mom.
Uh, how could you not know? Because I have amnesia.
It can happen if you've been in cryo-sleep for too long.
Everything that happened before I woke up, basically my entire life, I don't remember.
So you have brain damage? No! I mean, yes.
I don't know, dick-wad! All I know is that when I woke up, I didn't remember who I was, where I was from, or why I was there.
I didn't even know my own name.
So that's the scam.
Whitney wakes up amnesiacs, pretends to be their family, steals their benefits.
Why didn't you tell us? Hmm? You could've been straight with us.
Whitney has my Identikit.
The stuff inside it should tell me who I am.
So blackmail.
Even more reason why you should have said something.
We would've had your back.
I know.
I I don't know, just She just needed a ride.
So I You lied! I brought you on my goddamn ship, in my home, and you played me.
I always did have my suspicions.
- Spike! - Okay.
I'm I'm sorry.
I fucked up.
Dobre dien, I believe you have one of mine aboard your ship.
What the hell? They're pirate broadcasting on our systems.
It's fact.
Your security is, unfortunately for you, quite garbage.
Holy shit.
It's the Mink.
The Iron Mink.
Who the hell? The most notorious arms dealer in the solar system.
- Shit.
- Oh, shit.
It's also fact, you have one hour to hand her over.
Or I will explode you and your ship.
- Wait, Mr.
Mink.
- What? You? You've got the wrong ship.
All right? We're just cowboys looking for a bounty.
Well, shit.
Hello, lyubov moya.
Did you truly believe you could run from me? Do you know this guy? Minkie.
I thought I very clearly told you to fuck off.
Yes, was most clear.
And the only reason you aren't sucking stardust in icy vacuum of space is because of vows I made.
- Vows? - He's your husband? You guys are married? Allow me to handle this.
You want me, you must go through my friends first.
- The hell he does! - Fuck that.
- What? - No.
You are disgusting.
Shameless.
Ravishing.
Miserable.
Husk.
Blyat.
I loved you so much.
It makes me sad to kill you.
Ah, shit! - What are you doing? - I'll fix it later.
We need to get off this ship in triple-time.
Jet, please.
We can't turn her in until she's We? There is no "we" here.
I'm turning her in.
You lied and brought your con mom aboard my ship.
Now the Iron Mink's all over my ass.
In fairness, it is a little bit of a "we" problem.
All I wanted to do today is get a decent signal so I don't miss my daughter's goddamn recital.
Oh.
And all I wanted to do was find out who I am and who my family are.
- Give me that.
- Hey! That is worth more than you'll make in a lifetime.
Is that a tracker? No.
Uh Minkie would never.
Our relationship is based on trust.
Said the scorpion.
Where is Faye's Identikit? Like I'd tell you.
I may be a natural blond, but I'm not an Are you fucking kidding me? idiot.
There's only one way she gets the kit.
You take these off.
I take her there.
Yes.
Go! But you give her what she's after.
Liking this side of you.
Spike and I will take the tracker and lead the Mink the other way.
Liking this less.
Jet.
Thank you.
You, let's go.
- Why you do me like that? - Come on.
So rare.
The three of us together.
Calls for something just as rare to mark the occasion.
Earth stock Pinot Noir.
The 67-2 fields.
Aromas of wild berries and dark chocolate.
Hedonistic body, and a deep finish with lingering hints of tobacco.
Profoundly luxurious mouthfeel.
- Never tasted the like.
- Mmm.
Shall I come back after the mincing and preening part of the day is over? Right to business.
Very good.
So, you two are reaching for an overthrow.
Worth an extra 2% to each of you.
Well, I'm a fan of money.
But not of taking risks that might get us all killed.
What's the play? Mao will present the Elders with incontrovertible proof I'm planning a coup d'état.
A bloody one at that.
Go on.
The Elders will swear a death note.
You will catch me and deliver me to the temple in irons.
The only weapon, aside from the Kobun's, will be my katana, which Mao will use per tradition as my accuser to carry out the execution.
And at that moment, shall I wonder out loud? You will miraculously shed your shackles.
He shall.
I liberate Mao of my sword, kill the Kobun and take the Elders' heads.
Hmm.
Mmm.
Let's bump it to 3%.
And you can, uh, swing your sword as you like.
Consider it settled.
Then let us mince and preen! We're not moving.
Why are we not moving? Accident? Dead goat? No God? Whatever it is, we're sitting ducks on this bus.
It seemed like the fastest way to put distance between us and the docks.
- Yeah? Does this seem fast? - Yeah.
Does this seem fast to you? He must really love you.
Oh.
He did good, huh? I like to think we make each other happy.
No, thank you.
- Go easy.
- I trusted her.
She knew that and she still lied.
Maybe that's on you and not her.
We need to move! Call me back.
I want to make sure you vaginas are still alive or whatever.
Wouldn't get my hopes up.
Minkie's relentless.
What were you doing with those two minor-leaguers anyway? Uh, my ship went belly up, so I'm stuck with them until I get a new one.
Desperate times, desperate measures.
What are you doing? - We need wheels to get where we're going.
- It's a dead end.
You have my ticket.
Excuse me.
I'm so sorry.
We're running so late.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sure you understand.
Garçon, my car please.
- Ticket? - Of course, I have it, uh - Right, I gave it to you, darling heart.
- What? No, you didn't.
She's always losing things.
My fault, I didn't give her enough structure as a child.
I handed it to you when I was doing my lipstick.
Remember? Oh, yes! The ticket.
Wow, I, um I think I lost it.
Oh, my God, I would lose my head if it wasn't attached! Sorry, ma'am.
No ticket, no car.
Oh, come on, it's over there, the, um, puny one.
Puny? Mother, it's all I got in the divorce.
Issues in the bedroom.
Nothing a good safe word wouldn't have fixed.
Jesus Christ, Mother.
And if you'd done your exercises, like I told you I mean, nobody likes parking a motorcycle in a two-car garage.
Oh, right, and there's nothing wrong with my garage.
Quite the opposite, actually.
Tight as a drum.
Ladies, please, I need you to move Oh, my God.
My You just touched my mother's boob! Did you see what he just did? He just touched my mother's boob! I demand to see your manager.
You should be arrested for assault.
Wait.
I You think because you're a Mr.
Man, the gatekeeper of keys, you can cop a feel as you please on my poor mother? I didn't touch Just Which are your keys? Wait.
Okay.
The least you could do is pull it up for us.
- You heard the lady! - Okay.
Okay, okay, okay.
What are you doing here? How was the meeting? Did you really think Vicious came up with this plan? It's fair to think he didn't.
He's a shoot-first-fuck-the-consequences type of guy.
You called him a mad dog.
Said he'd get us all killed.
Do you want me to apologize? No.
I want you to take his head.
You know, marital strife rarely inspires good decisions.
I know exactly what I'm asking.
He offered you, what? 2%? I'm offering you the entire throne.
Then what exactly do you get with this double cross? A ticket out of the Syndicate.
Goddamn useless piece of shit.
You know, it's adorable that people still think valet keys keep people out of their trunks.
Is there anything you can't do? Change the tire.
Lug nuts and acrylics aren't friends.
Oh.
Wouldn't want to break a nail trying to protect your own hide.
Certainly not! I just had them done.
There you go.
Admit it, we have fun.
Yeah, when you're not manipulating me or trying to steal my identity.
Sure, we have a hoot.
You know, I actually see a lot of myself in you.
In what way? The best way.
You're clever, tough, audacious, suffer no fools.
I can think of one I've suffered.
And when life gives you lemons, you make a vodka twist.
You're a survivor, Faye.
Like moi.
I'm a survivor because of you.
I have to admit, leaving you was one of the hardest things I've ever done.
I actually enjoyed being your mother.
Is that why you up and left? No forwarding address? That was because of some moderate debt I had accrued and My lenders had gotten impatient.
Oh.
Okay.
I didn't plan on leaving when I did, Faye.
I loved our little life together.
I wasn't ready for it to be over.
Well, a fantasy is just a fantasy.
It wasn't real.
You know what the difference between reality and fantasy is? Your perception.
Fantasies can be as real as you want them to be.
North is that way, which means that's west.
That way's west? I thought we just came from west.
I'm totally turned around.
- Shit! - What? Kimmie's recital's about to start.
- I'm gonna take the call in there.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa! - How long's this gonna take? - As long as it takes.
What do you want me to do about this? Figure it out, Spike.
You expect me to deal with the world's most notorious arms dealer alone, while you watch your daughter's recital? She's got the lead.
That's fair.
Why is everybody's family problems my problems? I'm the orphan.
Sorry I'm late.
Nah.
Nick of time, pal.
You won't believe the shit I went through to get here.
- On a job? - Something like that.
You went with the peonies? Yeah, it was, uh It's more wow for the woo than the lilies, you know? - Thanks.
- Yeah, of course.
Those are from Jet? Yeah.
He's trying.
Cripes, you have done some damage in the world.
Identikits are in the back right corner.
Faye.
Are you really ready to find out who you are? Yeah.
Why wouldn't I be? You'd been on ice for years, Faye.
No one came for you.
You know what that means.
Either your parents are long dead or Or they left you for dead.
Wow.
Look at you.
I'm the sun.
The center of our solar system.
Yes, you are, baby.
I'm gonna move up closer to get better pictures.
Would you mind, uh, sending me some of those pics? 'Course.
I'll, um, make sure we get at least one of Kimmie with the flowers you got her.
Thanks.
It, um It really means a lot to her that you're here.
I'd fight the world to make sure I showed up.
I have money.
Disguises.
A ship.
It's a one-seater, but we'll make it work! Think of the fun we'd have, partnered up.
Living free, no one telling us what's what.
I have to know.
She gets that from you! Oh, yeah, she's got my moves.
Okay.
X1.
X1.
G, X1, X1 X1.
X1.
X1, X1, X1 What the The fuck are you? Yeah! Kimmie! Oh, man.
Need something, fella? Uh No.
I'm good.
Good as can be, actually.
Oh! - I've got to go.
- Good seeing you.
Uh, you too.
- Shit.
Thanks for this.
- Yeah.
Happy to help.
Oh, hey, how was Kimmie? - Good, really good.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- Oh, that's great.
That's great.
- Did you get 'em all? - Yeah.
And the Mink? Wait.
That's not the Mink.
- Where's the Mink? - I don't know.
- Was that really the only thing in there? - That was it.
Hello, lyubov moya.
Oh, shit.
How did you find me? You think I put only one tracker on you? That's right, my pretty zaika.
If only you hadn't stolen so much from me.
There's no stealing in marriage.
What's yours is mine, and what's mine I lock away for safekeeping.
Every time you open your beautiful lying mouth, I want to kiss it.
It breaks my heart but I must kill you.
Must? But why? Word gets out Iron Mink was conned I lose face.
Honor! Reputation.
Iron Mink must be feared.
Dreaded.
Otherwise, he is just Mink.
Now I kill you.
Whoa, wait, wait, wait! Wait.
Mr.
Mink.
Mr.
Mink, please.
Don't kill her.
Or me.
I'm I'm begging you.
And who are you to beg? Her daughter.
Whitney Whitney is a lying, stealing It's how she survives, and I'm sure that she didn't mean to hurt you.
Or me.
Oh, darling heart, I wasn't very good to you.
I'm not proud of that.
It could have been worse.
This is really sweet moment, but deeply unpleasant for me because now I must kill you too.
Dimitri! Davai.
Saddle stitch.
Pizdets.
- What the hell, Minkie? - Oh, shit! - Did you really need to off poor Dimitri? - Yes, sorry.
He heard the safe word.
Like we couldn't come up with another one? What? I'm sorry.
But now we make love.
What? Yes, we will, naughty boy.
What is happening? Um So, uh, you guys did this out of some kind of a kink role play? I told you.
Fantasies can be made real.
Oh, my beautiful sladka.
The things I will do to you.
Does baby need the muzzle? Do not promise if you do not do.
You'd better watch it.
I'm getting riled up and I'm all out of oil.
I don't need A dry pontoon? Mmm.
Mama likes it.
Now, to my ship.
What about her? I send Gregor to fetch her.
She is family, perhaps I put tracker on her too.
You're going to be an amazing father to her.
What? Bye, Mom! That's my girl.
I really appreciate it.
Especially after all the shit that I pulled.
Uh Whatever, I - I should have trusted you both.
- Yeah.
Well, I might have been a bit of a Of a dick? At first.
Thank you, guys.
- You want to do the honors? - Uh No, you do it.
I I don't know how to work that thing, so you can do it.
Uh, hi, me, in the future.
It's, uh, me.
You from 15 years ago.
How are you? Are you doing all right? Myself 15 years from now, it's almost impossible to imagine.
Are are you alone? Or or is there a wonderful person sitting next to me? To you? Knowing me, I'm sure you're causing all kinds of trouble to all kinds of people.
Even though you don't mean to, but It's gonna be all right.
Today you are who you are today.
You're still me, but a newer version, and you're not perfect, but you've got a lot to give.
So always remember, I'm rooting for you, future self.
You can do it, all right? Go me! Go me! Go me! Yay! - Did you get it? - I got it.
How was it? Did I do okay? - You were beautiful, sweetheart.
- Thanks, Mom.
Mom.