Dating Rules From My Future Self (2012) s01e07 Episode Script
Chapter Seven: Keep Calm And Carry On
Amanda: WHOA.
Lucy: WHAT? IS IT TOO MUCH? Amanda: NO.
NOT AT ALL.
YOU LOOK LIKE MELANIE GRIFFITH IN "WORKING GIRL" BEFORE SHE STOLE HER BOSS' JOB.
Lucy: AYE! Kelcey: YOU LOOK GREAT.
ARE YOU NERVOUS? Lucy: UM, YOU KNOW, I FEEL GOOD, ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW? LIKE, FOR THE FIRST TIME, I'M THINKING, "WHO KNOWS?" RIGHT? MAYBE BRENDAN AND I, MAYBE WE CAN ACTUALLY BE FRIENDS.
Amanda: YEAH.
M-MAYBE.
Kelcey: NICE TOUCH WEARING SANDALS TO SHOW OFF THE PEDICURE THAT DAVE GAVE YOU.
Lucy: THAT'S NOT INTENTIONAL.
Kelcey: WELL, WHATEVER HAPPENS TODAY, YOU CAN ALWAYS LOOK DOWN, CLICK YOUR HEELS, AND SAY, "EFF YOU, BRENDAN.
I'M GONNA BOINK YOUR ROOMMATE.
" Lucy: OKAY.
NO, I'M NOT.
AND THAT IS SO WRONG.
Amanda: I AGREE.
Lucy: NOT ONLY ARE THEY ROOMMATES, BUT DAVE IS YOU GUYS, HE'S JUST COMPLETELY OUT OF MY LEAGUE.
HE THINKS OF ME LIKE A KID SISTER.
Kelcey: YEAH, A KID SISTER HE'D LIKE TO BREAK THE LAW WITH.
PLEASE SAY A COMMAND.
Lucy: READ TEXT.
- "CHIN UP.
" -Lucy: THANKS.
"REMEMBER, KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON.
" Lucy: RIGHT.
KEEP CALM.
Otto: AND OUR FUSE RATING JUST GOT UP TO 30 AMPS, SO HELLO, LUCY.
WELCOME BACK.
Frank: IMPROMPTU MEETING.
Lucy: OH.
WELL, UM, JUST SO YOU KNOW, I DON'T WANT ANYONE TO FEEL AWKWARD ABOUT ME AND BRENDAN.
I MEAN, I DON'T FEEL AWKWARD.
I FEEL REALLY GOOD ABOUT IT, SO, UH OH, YEAH, HE SHOULDN'T FEEL THAT WAY.
AWKWARD, I MEAN.
Vincent: THAT WAS REALLY AWKWARD.
Otto: OKAY.
WELL, UM, AS ALL OF YOU KNOW, AND ANYWAY, WOULD LIKE TO PRESENT TO ALL OF YOU THE NEW VICE PRESIDENT OF fingergames, inc.
, NOELLE WILLIAMS.
THANK YOU, OTTO, AND YOU, TOO, FRANK.
WELL, I'LL, UH, KEEP THIS BRIEF, BECAUSE I NEED TO GET BACK TO ALL OF MY NEW RESPONSIBILITIES.
BUT I WANTED TO GIVE YOU AN UPDATE.
THE DEVELOPERS ARE STARTING A MOCK-UP OF OUR NEW APP, THE CUSTOMIZABLE MAGIC EIGHT BALL.
AND WE ARE CALLING IT "FUTURE ME BALL.
" IT SHOULD BE READY TO START TESTING BY THE END OF THE WEEK.
Vincent: EVIDENTLY, THAT'S HOW YOU GET PROMOTED.
Lucy: BUT SHE HATED MY IDEA WHEN I PITCHED IT.
WHY WOULD SHE STEAL IT? Noelle: UH, ACTUALLY, YOUR IDEA WAS SOME WHACKED-OUT "DR.
WHO" LSD TRIP, AND I'M MAKING SOMETHING THAT PEOPLE WILL ACTUALLY BUY.
BESIDES, LUCY WHEN YOU PITCH SOMETHING IN A COMPANY MEETING, IT BELONGS TO THE COMPANY, OF WHICH I'M NOW VICE PRESIDENT.
GO TEAM.
Vincent: I DON'T FEEL LIKE THAT "GO TEAM" WAS REALLY SINCERE.
Lucy: MNH-MNH.
ME, NEITHER.
HEY.
BRENDAN.
HOW COULD YOU DO THAT? Brendan: WHAT? I'M SORRY? Lucy: I MEAN, YOU'RE PROJECT MANAGER, AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN GIVE ME A CHANCE AT DEVELOPING MY OWN IDEA.
Brendan: YEAH, YOU BROKE UP WITH ME, LUCY.
I MEAN, WHAT'D YOU THINK? YOU'D JUST SHOW UP TO WORK TODAY AND I'D HAVE YOUR BACK, THAT WE'D BE BEST FRIENDS AGAIN? GROW UP.
Vincent: LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE.
THIS MEANS THEY'RE LOOKING FOR AN APP DESIGNER TO FILL NOELLE'S OLD SPOT.
YOU SHOULD APPLY.
Lucy: OH, RIGHT.
AND WORK SIDE BY SIDE WITH BRENDAN? I WOULD RATHER QUIT.
Vincent: UH, WELL, YOU CANNOT QUI 'CAUSE YOU WOULD MISS ME TOO MUCH.
WHICH REMINDS ME, I MISS THE WIFE AND KID.
I GOT TO GET HOME TO THEM.
Lucy: YOU DISGUST ME.
Vincent: I'M HAPPY.
I'M IN LOVE.
DON'T HATE ME FOR IT.
Lucy: NO.
WHAT I HATE IS THE SINCERITY.
Vincent: ONE DAY, YOU'RE GONNA REALIZE THAT YOU DESERVE LOVE JUST AS MUCH AS THIS GROWN-UP GOTH KID IN FRONT OF YOU.
THERE YOU GO.
Lucy: HEY.
Kelcey: HEY, LUCY.
IT'S KELCEY AND AMANDA.
Amanda: HI.
Kelcey: AND WE'RE DOING DRINKS TONIGHT.
Amanda: FOR YOUR FIRST DAY BACK.
Lucy: HOW ABOUT TO DROWN MY FIRST DAY BACK IN A DRUNKEN STUPOR? Kelcey: THAT WORKS.
AMANDA, WHERE ARE YOU? Amanda: I'M AT MY CALLBACK FOR PAJEGA JEANS.
Kelcey: HOW MANY TIMES DO THEY HAVE TO SEE YOU to realize you can't act? Amanda: This is a major role.
I'M GONNA BE, LIKE, ShamWow! GUY OR THE GEORGE FOREMAN GRILL GUY.
Kelcey: YOU MEAN GEORGE FOREMAN? Lucy: HEY, GUYS.
I GOT TO CALL YOU BACK.
Lucy: WHAT? IS IT TOO MUCH? Amanda: NO.
NOT AT ALL.
YOU LOOK LIKE MELANIE GRIFFITH IN "WORKING GIRL" BEFORE SHE STOLE HER BOSS' JOB.
Lucy: AYE! Kelcey: YOU LOOK GREAT.
ARE YOU NERVOUS? Lucy: UM, YOU KNOW, I FEEL GOOD, ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW? LIKE, FOR THE FIRST TIME, I'M THINKING, "WHO KNOWS?" RIGHT? MAYBE BRENDAN AND I, MAYBE WE CAN ACTUALLY BE FRIENDS.
Amanda: YEAH.
M-MAYBE.
Kelcey: NICE TOUCH WEARING SANDALS TO SHOW OFF THE PEDICURE THAT DAVE GAVE YOU.
Lucy: THAT'S NOT INTENTIONAL.
Kelcey: WELL, WHATEVER HAPPENS TODAY, YOU CAN ALWAYS LOOK DOWN, CLICK YOUR HEELS, AND SAY, "EFF YOU, BRENDAN.
I'M GONNA BOINK YOUR ROOMMATE.
" Lucy: OKAY.
NO, I'M NOT.
AND THAT IS SO WRONG.
Amanda: I AGREE.
Lucy: NOT ONLY ARE THEY ROOMMATES, BUT DAVE IS YOU GUYS, HE'S JUST COMPLETELY OUT OF MY LEAGUE.
HE THINKS OF ME LIKE A KID SISTER.
Kelcey: YEAH, A KID SISTER HE'D LIKE TO BREAK THE LAW WITH.
PLEASE SAY A COMMAND.
Lucy: READ TEXT.
- "CHIN UP.
" -Lucy: THANKS.
"REMEMBER, KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON.
" Lucy: RIGHT.
KEEP CALM.
Otto: AND OUR FUSE RATING JUST GOT UP TO 30 AMPS, SO HELLO, LUCY.
WELCOME BACK.
Frank: IMPROMPTU MEETING.
Lucy: OH.
WELL, UM, JUST SO YOU KNOW, I DON'T WANT ANYONE TO FEEL AWKWARD ABOUT ME AND BRENDAN.
I MEAN, I DON'T FEEL AWKWARD.
I FEEL REALLY GOOD ABOUT IT, SO, UH OH, YEAH, HE SHOULDN'T FEEL THAT WAY.
AWKWARD, I MEAN.
Vincent: THAT WAS REALLY AWKWARD.
Otto: OKAY.
WELL, UM, AS ALL OF YOU KNOW, AND ANYWAY, WOULD LIKE TO PRESENT TO ALL OF YOU THE NEW VICE PRESIDENT OF fingergames, inc.
, NOELLE WILLIAMS.
THANK YOU, OTTO, AND YOU, TOO, FRANK.
WELL, I'LL, UH, KEEP THIS BRIEF, BECAUSE I NEED TO GET BACK TO ALL OF MY NEW RESPONSIBILITIES.
BUT I WANTED TO GIVE YOU AN UPDATE.
THE DEVELOPERS ARE STARTING A MOCK-UP OF OUR NEW APP, THE CUSTOMIZABLE MAGIC EIGHT BALL.
AND WE ARE CALLING IT "FUTURE ME BALL.
" IT SHOULD BE READY TO START TESTING BY THE END OF THE WEEK.
Vincent: EVIDENTLY, THAT'S HOW YOU GET PROMOTED.
Lucy: BUT SHE HATED MY IDEA WHEN I PITCHED IT.
WHY WOULD SHE STEAL IT? Noelle: UH, ACTUALLY, YOUR IDEA WAS SOME WHACKED-OUT "DR.
WHO" LSD TRIP, AND I'M MAKING SOMETHING THAT PEOPLE WILL ACTUALLY BUY.
BESIDES, LUCY WHEN YOU PITCH SOMETHING IN A COMPANY MEETING, IT BELONGS TO THE COMPANY, OF WHICH I'M NOW VICE PRESIDENT.
GO TEAM.
Vincent: I DON'T FEEL LIKE THAT "GO TEAM" WAS REALLY SINCERE.
Lucy: MNH-MNH.
ME, NEITHER.
HEY.
BRENDAN.
HOW COULD YOU DO THAT? Brendan: WHAT? I'M SORRY? Lucy: I MEAN, YOU'RE PROJECT MANAGER, AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN GIVE ME A CHANCE AT DEVELOPING MY OWN IDEA.
Brendan: YEAH, YOU BROKE UP WITH ME, LUCY.
I MEAN, WHAT'D YOU THINK? YOU'D JUST SHOW UP TO WORK TODAY AND I'D HAVE YOUR BACK, THAT WE'D BE BEST FRIENDS AGAIN? GROW UP.
Vincent: LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE.
THIS MEANS THEY'RE LOOKING FOR AN APP DESIGNER TO FILL NOELLE'S OLD SPOT.
YOU SHOULD APPLY.
Lucy: OH, RIGHT.
AND WORK SIDE BY SIDE WITH BRENDAN? I WOULD RATHER QUIT.
Vincent: UH, WELL, YOU CANNOT QUI 'CAUSE YOU WOULD MISS ME TOO MUCH.
WHICH REMINDS ME, I MISS THE WIFE AND KID.
I GOT TO GET HOME TO THEM.
Lucy: YOU DISGUST ME.
Vincent: I'M HAPPY.
I'M IN LOVE.
DON'T HATE ME FOR IT.
Lucy: NO.
WHAT I HATE IS THE SINCERITY.
Vincent: ONE DAY, YOU'RE GONNA REALIZE THAT YOU DESERVE LOVE JUST AS MUCH AS THIS GROWN-UP GOTH KID IN FRONT OF YOU.
THERE YOU GO.
Lucy: HEY.
Kelcey: HEY, LUCY.
IT'S KELCEY AND AMANDA.
Amanda: HI.
Kelcey: AND WE'RE DOING DRINKS TONIGHT.
Amanda: FOR YOUR FIRST DAY BACK.
Lucy: HOW ABOUT TO DROWN MY FIRST DAY BACK IN A DRUNKEN STUPOR? Kelcey: THAT WORKS.
AMANDA, WHERE ARE YOU? Amanda: I'M AT MY CALLBACK FOR PAJEGA JEANS.
Kelcey: HOW MANY TIMES DO THEY HAVE TO SEE YOU to realize you can't act? Amanda: This is a major role.
I'M GONNA BE, LIKE, ShamWow! GUY OR THE GEORGE FOREMAN GRILL GUY.
Kelcey: YOU MEAN GEORGE FOREMAN? Lucy: HEY, GUYS.
I GOT TO CALL YOU BACK.