Dirty Sexy Money s01e07 Episode Script

My father worked as a lawyer for the richest family in New York, until his plane went down in Long Island Sound.
He left me his biggest client, the Darlings.
Tripp, the empire builder.
Letitia, the sophisticated socialite.
But don't you think it kills me to see you making the same mistakes I did? - What mistakes? - Putting three people in your marriage.
Brian, the man of God.
Is "orphan" not PC anymore? - He's not an orphan.
- Your brother, Brian, is his father.
Patrick, the principled politician.
I am tired of it all.
The money, the advice, the support.
All of it.
- Patrick - We are done.
Finally, we get together.
- It's been a long time coming.
- I'll say.
Karen, the professional divorcée.
Nick is my past.
You're my future, okay? Letting me risk ruining my marriage to Freddy sure makes it seem like you want me free for you.
And Jeremy and Juliet, the well-behaved twins.
She's my best friend in the whole world, and I hate her guts.
Has anybody here seen that girl She's kind of pretty And she's kind of plain She don't get out much into the world Now, baby, are you sure it's not bad luck - to see each other on the big day? - Mmm-mmm.
Who cares? That tradition has not exactly worked for me in the past.
What's that tradition all about, anyway, huh? Did Moses cook that up? It's about seeing your beloved again for the first time.
And no, Moses did not cook that up.
Have you two given any thought to your vows at all? Well, I'm thinking a golf theme would be nice.
You know, something with hazards and fairways and holes-in-one? No, all we need is "have and hold" and "sickness and health.
" And a little open bar.
Now, Karen, as your brother, I agree, no one cares what you say.
But as your minister, I am required to honor this eternal union.
Okay.
Just do what you want.
Just keep it short.
See you in seven hours.
Amen to that! Because we are in it to win it! Next question.
- Mr.
Attorney General, earlier today your office indicted one of the city's biggest real estate developers, the Fantini Brothers, on multiple counts of bid-rigging, fraud, collusion, tax evasion Fred, this lawsuit's a message to all of New York's real estate developers.
You will be held accountable for your corrupt and deceptive business practices.
Next.
But aren't you worried that by bringing charges against a Michael and Sal Fantini, you may come into conflict with your father? This is not about my family, Dave.
This is about our New York.
Okay? Thank you.
No more questions.
The Ambassador decided to bring a date at the last minute.
People can be so thoughtless.
I'm kind of having second thoughts.
- About the wedding.
- Yeah.
I assumed that's what you meant.
Is this about Nick? Is it? Nick? No.
No.
No, Nick hasn't even entered my mind today.
It's about Freddy.
Ah.
He's not exactly complicated.
You're just like your father.
You want fairytale love.
You're a romantic, but what's really romantic is to wake up every morning and say, "I choose you.
Again.
Today.
"No matter what.
" Mmm.
Like you chose Dad? Or Dutch? Well, I chose both, and that was my mistake.
But this just isn't you, Paddy.
This vendetta against my friends.
My colleagues! Where in heaven's name did the notion come from? If this is some kind of a response to my offer Dad, I am the Attorney General of the State of New York.
I go after the bad guys.
It's what I do.
It's incomprehensible to me that you could attack me like this, and on your sister's wedding day! You have become a complete stranger to me, Patrick.
The fact that you see this as an attack in the first place is the real problem.
Son, I think it would be in the best interests of everybody if you were to move out of the Imperial for the time being.
Maybe you should go upstairs and take a look, Dad.
I already have.
Well, Paddy, I Oh, Pat You're doing the right thing.
For you and for your city.
I know.
Come.
You look like you could use a drink.
It's 9:30 in the morning.
Is this about Patrick's press conference? No.
On the contrary.
Today, everything is about my Karen.
This is a little tradition, a ritual I enact for her weddings.
I got it from her first father-in-law, Vincente De La Huerta.
You open the bottle of tequila first thing in the morning, and by the time you go to bed, it's got to be bone dry.
All right.
It's amazing.
Certainly has its virtues, doesn't it? Uh, Tripp You know, those silly magazines whip themselves into a frenzy for pictures every time Karen gets hitched.
I remember last time.
It was a story unto itself.
The bidding war.
I want you to meet with these people today.
- Come to an understanding.
- I can do that.
Oh, and in the interests of the new dispensation, we could give the money to charity.
Done.
All right.
- To Karen.
- To Karen.
I don't know how this could have happened.
My assistant usually pays such assiduous attention - to every detail.
- Well, here's some details for you.
This wedding is in six hours, and I have to write a sermon for my sister and her fourth ex-husband, so fix the cuffs quickly so they fit my son and not an orangutan Oh, my God.
Excuse me.
Hi, Brian.
Andrea, where the hell have you been? Brazil.
I finally went and saw Iguazú Falls, - and it was a life-changing experience.
- Yeah, it certainly played hell with your fashion sense.
- I didn't come here to fight.
- Well, then why did you come? Because the last time I checked, you dumped our son in my lap like a half-eaten sandwich and disappeared.
- I want to talk to him.
- No, not today.
Look, Karen's getting married.
There's a lot going on I'm still his mother, Brian.
Just meet me in the rectory in an hour.
Mei Ling Hwa and the twins are out of town.
- We have a situation on our hands.
- What's going on? Karen is having second thoughts, and I'm quite certain - that they revolve around you.
- Me? I Look, I haven't done anything.
Which allows her to live in this fantasy world that someday you two may end up together.
You know this.
You must.
All I'm asking is for you to talk to her.
Let her know, once and for all, that there is no possible future for her with you.
None.
Unless there is.
I'll talk to her.
Good.
Then it's quite simple.
Tell her you're not in love with her, and that you never, ever will be.
Private number? That's so 2006.
- Hello? Juliet! - Hey, don't hang up, okay? - Who is this? Natalie.
Natalie Kimpton.
What do you want? Listen, just turn the radio station on to our station, okay? Please.
Never! Our guest in the studio today is Natalie Kimpton.
Why don't you tell us about your new single? I heard it's quite the vision quest.
That's what I've been told, anyway.
New single? You must be kidding me.
Well, Jonesy, it's called Free to Forgive, and it was inspired by the most devastating experience of my life, my break-up with Juliet Darling.
Do you hear what's happening on the radio? I sent Free to Forgive to her to get her to make up with you! - Jeremy, I can't hear the song.
- Why do you want to? That she-devil is evil, Jules! She is a thief, just like you said.
She pretended to be pregnant to try and marry me and get my money.
If she's trying to win you back, it's 'cause she wants something.
Maybe once or twice But staying mad at me is expensive And it's free to forgive And it's free to forgive KIKl: I'm just worried that Mom and I are gonna miss Karen tossing her bouquet.
I already told all my friends I'd catch it.
It'll be worth, like, Kiki, you're gonna get there as soon as your mom is done at the gallery.
That's the best I can do for you.
Dad! No.
No cater-waiters.
I've known Stella since college.
If anything smacks of elitism, it'll freak her out.
I want canned beer and potato chips.
Okay, thanks.
Bye.
Hi.
- Hi.
You can't wear a tux to Stella's opening.
Look, I know, but I have to, because I have to be over at the Imperial right now.
Nick.
You promised you would go with us to the gallery first.
Look, I have to talk to the press, I have to pick which magazine gets the photos, I have to make sure that the bride actually gets married.
That's a joke, right? No.
Letitia asked me to make sure that Karen gets down the aisle.
Apparently, she's having doubts, cold feet.
Kiki, will you hang this up for me in the closet, please? - Yeah.
- Thank you.
She's got cold feet because of you, right? According to Letitia, yes, but she's getting married.
Just not to the man she really wants.
Lisa, the only reason that I'm not making it to the opening is so I can go tell Karen to marry Freddy.
You're gonna see for yourself - in four hours.
- You know what? I really don't need - to go to this wedding.
- Come on, Lisa.
Please.
It's not like Karen and I are close.
And I'm sure there'll be another one.
- So, you know - All right.
Fine.
Don't come.
Okay.
Great.
Wait a minute.
If Mom doesn't go, who's gonna take me? Lisa, come on.
Okay.
You can go with your father.
Oh, thank you, God! You're an evil person.
- You abandoned your son.
- I didn't abandon him.
I left him with his father for two months.
Yeah, and because you did, my marriage is probably over.
My wife and children have been in China for two weeks, and I don't know when, or if, they're coming back! Just as a little added bonus to your little selfish walkabout.
Oh.
Look who's talking.
You haven't had a selfless moment in your life.
Listening to you sob for weeks about the untimely death of your mangy cat was pretty selfless, believe me.
I mean, why'd you even come back here? To see my son.
And you.
- Maybe.
A little.
- Oh, crap.
Shouldn't you be getting dressed? The wedding's in less than two hours.
I'll be ready in time, don't worry.
Are you okay? Look, I know living in this hotel isn't ideal, but when the new place is ready, we'll move in and we'll have a new home.
I'm fine.
I like it here.
It feels as much like home as any place.
Okay.
Well, I've I've got to run out for a sec.
Don't get lipstick on your collar.
Excuse me? Or doesn't she wear lipstick? Am I supposed to be following this? Because it's all going way over my head.
So you're not seeing someone else? A woman? A man? In between? I don't know what you're No, Ellen, I'm not seeing anyone but you.
- Just go.
- No.
What are you talking about? - What - Just go.
Hey, Karen.
Everyone's looking for you.
Well, looks like you found me.
That's Nick, one.
Everyone else, zero.
Can I ask you a question? - Sure.
- I don't think I'm gonna do this.
Well, that's technically not a question.
- I know.
I answered it myself.
- You did.
Mmm.
You don't think me marrying Freddy is a huge mistake? Like The hugest? Look, Karen, if you're hoping I'm gonna sweep you off your feet and tell you not to marry Freddy, I can't.
Nick, this isn't about you.
My entire life doesn't revolve around a stupid crush I had when I was 18.
This is about Freddy, and if he's the right one for me.
- Okay.
- I just wanted to get your opinion.
That's all.
Okay.
Hey.
Have you pre-sold my wedding photos yet? Not yet.
Well, don't settle for less than two million.
That would suck.
- Paddy, my boy! - "Paddy, my boy"? Well, I believe that is an appropriate greeting.
- What the hell were you thinking? - Lower your voice.
I'm not deaf.
You told Ellen about Carmelita.
I did nothing of the sort.
And I am offended that you would even think that I would do such a thing.
Well, maybe that's because you hired a private investigator to follow me around and take photographs! I was trying to save your marriage.
- Is that right? - I love you, son.
Whatever nonsense has come between us doesn't change that.
Now, come on.
Have a drink.
Your sister's getting married.
It's a great day.
Dad, this place is a palace.
It's a little like one.
Come on in.
Excuse me.
Hello there, young lady.
- Hi.
- Kiki, right? - Yeah.
- This is Kiki.
- I'm Mrs.
Darling.
- And I'm Tripp Darling.
- Your house is so beautiful.
- Thank you.
Well, maybe you'll bless us by having your wedding here someday.
- I really could? - Oh, yes, of course you can.
Your dad is family.
Thank you for taking care of things today, Nick.
- I appreciate it.
- It was no problem.
It was It was fine.
Are the photographers here yet? I asked them to get here early.
The vultures of the tabloids are in my office even as we speak.
- Uh, who are you, again? Style and Grace.
Well, Style and Grace, I'd like to remind you that the bidding starts at one million dollars.
Guys, I want to remind you, this is Karen Darling.
- On her fourth wedding.
- To a second-rate golfer.
The public's hungry for access, but they're not starving.
Well, this could be her last wedding, and the bidding starts at one million.
- I think I've been clear.
- Then I think I'll skedaddle.
- Good luck, guys.
- See you.
$500,000.
Is he - 400,000? - Okay, I'll give you 250.
- Sold! - But, I'm gonna need a little S-K-I-N.
I'm 10.
I can spell.
I'll go 350 if I can tag along for the honeymoon and get some oplesstay actionay? I speak pig Latin, too, ummyday.
Dad, look, the wedding's starting.
We're gonna make it.
Okay, guys.
Listen, no skin and no honeymoon.
- Then nothing over 200.
- Okay, you can have some honeymoon.
- I'll go three.
- Sold! - Here we are again.
- Here we are.
You know, there's a word for how I feel right now.
Whoa.
It's a Japanese word.
It means, "Reverence "for the transient beauty and mortality of all things.
" - Daddy, you're so wasted.
- I know I am.
I know.
You realize that on this day in a father's life grief and joy are intertwined.
Oh, and remember Be kind.
Be fair.
And - Be true? - Be true.
And Uh Daddy, it's okay.
You don't have to finish it.
I know the whole thing.
But you know something? I really believe that this time it's going to last for quite some time.
- Be patient! - Be patient.
Thank you, Daddy.
- May I have this walk? - You may.
I gotta know Did you come here for the money? I gotta know Or did you come to see a show? I gotta know Did you come to party with your people? Or did you come here 'Cause there's no place left to go? Everybody, please sit down.
And so, Karen, Freddy.
I send you off into the mystery of marriage with three words that start with the letter "C.
" First.
"Confirmation.
" Married people provide confirmation for each other.
When one person sees a shooting star or an aurora, then they have someone to turn to, all the time, to whom to which to say, "Did you see that? "Did that really happen?" And in a life that's full of amazing moments, it's important to have confirmation.
The second is "consolation.
" Married people provide consolation for each other when bad luck, death or even the simple sadness of the passing of beauty becomes hard to make it go on, then you have someone to turn to for a hand, for an embrace, for a kiss, for consolation.
And last but not least There's "joy.
" It's not a "C" word, but then, life and love are surprising.
You may kiss the bride.
Oh, my God.
I feel like a prisoner in here.
Karen, before we go into all that madness, I need to tell you something.
What are you doing? When I first proposed to you, I didn't love you.
- Oh, that's okay.
- No, listen.
I just I saw this world, and I wanted to be a part of it.
Freddy, honey, it's okay.
I get it.
But during the ceremony, and hearing those vows, I realized that I have fallen in love with you.
And none of the superficial stuff, the money, whatever Matters to me anymore.
- I want to propose.
- You already did.
I want to do it again.
Karen Darling Mason, I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Oh I want to spend the rest of my life with you, too, baby Forever.
Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you Mr.
And Mrs.
Freddy Mason! All right, Freddy! Yeah! I want a divorce.
Now.
Tell me this is some kind of joke.
I told you I was having second thoughts.
I told you both! Karen Darling, you are not going out there and announcing your divorce during your wedding.
Of course not! I would never ruin a party.
Karen, you've been married for less than an hour.
Is it possible I can tell when these things won't work out, Nick.
I'm a pro.
You're an embarrassment, is what you are.
You think this makes me happy? Because the last time I checked, being a four-time divorcée wasn't exactly a big selling point! Then why'd you go through with it in the first place? - Because you told me to! - Karen, listen to me.
While Freddy may not be the perfect man, he is as capable and deserving a fourth husband as you're likely to find.
Tables 7 and 8 are filled with lawyers.
Am I going to have to go out there and hire one of them, or are you going to take care of this for me? - I will talk to Freddy.
- Thank you.
Now I can go outside and have my father-daughter dance.
- Karen? - Yeah.
What? I need a drink.
Let's all just agree that your father doesn't need to know about this right now.
Let him have his night.
He's so happy.
I know.
And I wish I had it in me to stay married just for him But I don't.
Well, I hope you're happy.
Well, Your Honor, the Seven Deadly Sins are not like the Constitution.
They can't be amended.
So if I were you, yes, I'd be worried.
- May I? - Of course.
Brian.
What a wonderful wedding sermon.
So much humanity, so much hope.
There really is such a kind person buried deep down inside you.
Deep, deep down.
Inside you.
Somewhere.
Thanks, Dad.
So, how is it being a Darling? I'm pretty new at it, but I guess it's okay.
The food's good.
Well, when I grow up, I'm going to live just like this.
No matter what it takes.
No matter what.
This is nice, right? We don't dance enough.
Would dancing satisfy you? Would dancing give you whatever it is that you Ellen, I don't want to Smile! There.
There's a nice fake picture.
I hope everybody in the fake world - likes fake-looking at it.
- You know what? I am not going to do this.
I can't.
I'm gonna get a drink.
It's an annulment.
Freddy, per Karen's request, I've prepared all the necessary legal documents.
There's a judge at table number seven.
He's ready to sign.
But I still get the check, right? Of course, baby.
I made a vow.
You will still receive the full divorce settlement as specified in the prenup.
Three million dollars.
All you have to do is sign right there.
Done.
You must be ecstatic.
- Freddy, I never meant - Karen, please.
Don't feel sorry for me, okay? I feel sorry for you.
Because you are a screwed up little girl who has a thing for her lawyer.
And no matter how hard you try and fight it, you are going to die alone and unhappy.
And that's exactly what you deserve.
- Hey.
Listen, Karen, he's just - Nick, don't, okay? Just don't.
Don't.
I'm sorry, Karen.
So, what's the matter? Well, I came here to discuss with you a highly sensitive matter, but I realize perhaps now's not the best time.
Pat, I had a cup of chai tea.
I'm going to be up all night.
Talk to me.
Well, I have this acquaintance for whom I care a great deal.
A mistress? She Used to be a mister.
It's none of my business how you like your eggs.
Well, I I appreciate that.
But You see, Ellen She keeps asking all sorts of questions, and She knows something, and I just can't I just can't keep lying.
Then stop lying.
In fact, I think it's time for Patrick Darling to stop apologizing for being himself.
I mean, come on, it's the 21 st century.
People's hearts and minds are open.
They're tired of the politics of deception.
They're starved for truth, and I'll bet Ellen is the same.
But if I tell Ellen the truth, she You know, she might leave me, and that could ruin my campaign.
I think Ellen's smarter than you give her credit for.
So you think I should just tell her the truth? Just confess everything? It's not a confession, it's a conversation.
And it's the right thing to do for your marriage.
For your country.
And for your soul.
Okay Okay, great.
Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Okay.
I'm proud of you, Pat.
I appreciate your discretion.
It's all good.
Good night.
Quite a roller-coaster today.
- Yeah.
I'm sorry.
- Oh, don't worry about me.
And I managed to sell those pictures for $ 1.
3 million.
- That's nothing to sneeze at.
- Yeah, that's nice.
I still matter.
So you want to tell me what really happened? He told me he loved me.
Right after the ceremony, he just spit it out.
- And that wasn't good? - I don't know.
When I thought Freddy was in it only for the money, it It somehow made it okay.
You know? He was easier to deal with.
I knew he'd always be there because the money would always be there.
- And then it got real.
- Yeah.
More real, anyway.
But then after he said those horrible things to me at the divorce, it just proved that I did the right thing.
- Well, he was wrong.
He was hurt - He was right about one thing.
I am in love with you.
Karen You know we belong together.
We've both known it since we were kids.
We fit.
I've gotta go.
Doomed from here to eternity Lord have mercy on such as we Baa, baa, baa Bone dry.
That was a beautiful wedding day.
Karen finally got it right.
I'll sleep well tonight, knowing that she has found a man's heart in which to make her home.
Daddy, can I talk to you? Oh, I think we might have set a record here.
- How was the opening? - Amazing.
Good.
- Amazing! - Excellent.
Stella's paintings sold out in one hour.
She is now passed out drunk on my office couch with some Cuban shortstop who's just defected to the Yankees.
Well, congratulations.
Thank you.
- So how was the wedding? - It was all right.
Karen's wedding photos sold for 300 grand, so the Darling Family Foundation only had to kick in a cool mill to protect her feelings.
That's kind of sad.
Yeah.
So she actually went through with it? And then, 45 minutes later, she got through with it.
What? Karen had the marriage annulled.
I wonder why.
Well, it had nothing to do with me, if that's what you're implying.
Of course it didn't, Nick.
- Hey, Lisa.
Would you wait? - I'm tired.
I know.
I know, and I'm tired, too.
But I just I want all of this to stop.
I love you, and that is never going to change.
I don't know how many times I have to say this.
I'm yours.
One more time.
I'm yours.
I'm going shopping on Madison.
It's Carmelita.
- Excuse me? - Her name is Carmelita.
Do you love her? I love I love you both.
I can't give her up.
I've tried.
I I don't know how.
Well, then.
We don't have a choice, do we? The three of us are going to sit down together and set some ground rules.
The three of us? You, me, and You, me, and who? Carmelita.
She won't destroy this marriage, and she will not keep us out of Washington, either one of us.
I didn't marry a Darling for nothing.
Bingles! Bingles! Wait for me! Bingles! - Thank you so much for coming.
- Oh, look what I got.
Ta-da! - Cheers! - Cheers! Hey, will you tell Germs that we're friends again? I think we should tell the whole world! He's in here.
Hi.
Hey.
Where's Brian Jr? He's at a fencing lesson, but he'll be back.
He's getting really good at it.
You know, I think - if he has a few more - I'm taking him back to Brazil.
What? Yeah, I realized this morning when I woke up in Queens.
I went to Brazil to find myself, but I think I found a home, too.
In the jungle? No.
In São Paulo.
What about Brian Jr? What about Maple Grove? He's going to start in the fall.
You can't just come in here and uproot him.
He has a life here now.
I'm sure we can find him a fencing coach down there.
And you'll pay for it, if you want him to live in the manner to which he's become so quickly and completely accustomed.
Did you really think I'd let you keep him forever? Mommy! - Hi! Oh, I missed you! - I missed you, too.
- Patrick.
- Hello, Dad.
Where's Ellen? Are things okay with the two of you? Fences mended? They're on their way.
- So this is where you're living.
- For the time being.
Let me reiterate.
I had nothing to do with Ellen finding out, absolutely nothing at all.
Is that why you came here, Dad? To convince me of your innocence? I came to tell you I loved you, and that you're always welcome under my roof, regardless of whatever business disagreements we might have.
I feel bad I let it go this far.
I The point is, if you get tired of hotel living, the fourth floor of the Imperial is always waiting.
I appreciate that, Dad, thank you, but we found a place over on the Park.
Where exactly? The Octavius.
Simon Elder owns that building.
I know, Dad.
He suggested it.
We move in, in two weeks.
- Do I really have to go to Brazil? - You're not going to Brazil yet, you're just going to Queens with your mom.
Do they have lemon curd in Queens? I'll send a jar home with you.
And there'll always be plenty here when you come visit.
Are you sure she'll let me visit? I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure that she does.
Let's go, sweetie.
Don't pack just yet.
Bye, Daddy.
Bye, little man.
What in God's name is this? Oh, just some sock Freddy wanted to sell to kids as part of a golf video.
Oh.
Maybe he wasn't a keeper.
Last night I told Nick that he and I belong together, and then I kissed him.
Oh, Karen.
I know.
I know, but I just got so caught up in the moment.
You know, the wedding made me feel so romantic.
Yeah, but why do you do this to yourself? Because I want to marry Nick.
Don't I have to try? I can't go the rest of my life wondering what might have happened, can I? Well, no.
No.
No, no, you can't.
I I just Mom, that's a candle.
You can't Let's There you go.
I'll just ask you for one thing.
What's that? Let me help you.
He has stolen my son.
Patrick is a person, Tripp.
Making his own choices.
This isn't about theft.
There are so many spurious assumptions behind that statement Tripp, do you know that Patrick is working with Simon? He's living in Simon Elder's building.
Ostensibly, to all intents and purposes, Simon Elder is serving Patrick in some sort of all-encompassing advisory capacity, and I am certain that it is Simon Elder who is behind Paddy's push to indict my friends.
I'm not a vengeful person, Nick.
I have endured massive betrayal, and I have responded with patience and with love.
But I will not suffer this man.
What do you want to do? I want to destroy him.
I want that son of a bitch completely and utterly destroyed.