Dogs in Space (2021) s01e07 Episode Script

[dogs screaming]
[ship crashes]
Dig this
We're the last hope of the human race ♪
Embark on a journey ♪
Into outer space ♪
Blast off, there's no going back
We're on our way ♪
Dogs in Space! ♪
Woo! ♪
Dogs in Space! ♪
[ripping]
[sighs]
[surface squeaking]
[sniffs] Ah.
Still has that Chelsea smell.
Do you have a taser and hot sauce?
I want to get Ed back.
Wait. Is it your birthday?
Nope. Adopt-a-versary.
Chelsea gave me advanced gifts
for while I'm in space
to celebrate the day we met.
Year one:
World's Best Boy.
[giggles, gasps]
Year two: Customized kaleidoscope!
These are different.
Go ahead, give me the schpiel on how
gifts are just bribes to keep us obedient.
I admit it. It's cute.
And based on the last two,
I really want to see
what this year's gift is.
Come on, open it.
Is something wrong?
She didn't think the mission would take
more than three years.
This is my last gift.
- [static over comm]
- [Nomi] Nomi to Captain.
- Plopping down.
- [static over comm]
Well, duty calls!
00 M-BARK
Garbage is plotting something.
Am I having déjà vu or did we have
this exact exchange last week?
This time it's different!
I overheard him and Kira talking
about how they're doubting our mission!
Happy, I know you and Garbage
haven't exactly seen eye to eye.
I I mean, I'm taller than him.
Even though Garbage can be reckless,
he's always been loyal.
Do you have any evidence?
Evidence? I don't need evidence.
I'm part of the counsel.
I'm inherently trustworthy!
I recommend you spend less time focusing
on what Garbage is doing wrong
and more time trying to fetch us
a new planet.
Here. Have a chew.
This helps me de-stress.
[whimpers]
Huh?
Garbage to Loaf,
this planet seems a little odd.
Keep your ears and eyes on us.
[whimpers] Copy that,
all ears and eyes on the mission.
Please don't die.
[whimpers]
[gasps] Ah!
Where are my Cheese-it chunks?
There they are for some reason.
Come on, Loaf.
Get your snacks so old Happy can listen in
on the mission and get that "evidence."
[grunts] But wait.
Garbage said not to leave my desk.
[whirring]
Ah!
Did Earth beat us here?
Ooh, that would be the ultimate prank.
Well played, humans.
Maybe it's some sort of parallel universe.
A wormhole or something.
Uh, this planet seems a little
those-dogs-should-have-turned-around
when-they-had-the chance-ish.
[gasps]
I uh, think we should leave.
I don't know, Stella.
This place could be perfect!
That's right, Garbage.
It could be.
- [gasps]
- Chelsea?
Hey, boy! Welcome home.
[automated voice]
Time to get your steps in!
Only 9,500 to go.
Well, it's time for my daily walk
around the M-Bark.
[chuckling maliciously]
That's right, Loaf.
Take your little walk away from your desk.
What?
[automated voice]
Great job! 9,495 steps to go.
Oh. [growls]
I don't understand.
How are you here?
[gasps]
Tom?
[gasps]
Ellie?
[gasps] Andrew. Is that really you?
[grunts] Look. Mr. Spaghetti!
- [grunts, pants]
- Don't hug strangers, Nomi.
[gasps]
[growling]
Please, we mean no harm.
We are a peaceful race of Shapeshifters
known as the Shmoops.
[giggling] "Shmoops."
How do you know what our people look like?
And what Earth looks like?
We're Telepaths.
We can read your feelings.
Your happy memories are like food to us.
Oh, that's neat.
Got to find a way to monetize that.
Your unconditional love for humans
brought our dying species back
from the brink of extinction.
Except this one.
She's pushed her happy memories way down.
- [growls]
- Wait. Extinction? You were dying?
Yes, our tale is very similar to yours.
We are half of a co-dependent pair
of species:
The Shmoops and the Crumpulons.
Coming together as one symbiotic race:
The Shmoopulons.
[giggling] Shmoopulon!
[Fake Andrew] We gave them happiness
and then we then we fed off it.
At least, until
One day, without telling us why,
we woke up to find they were gone.
Leaving us alone.
So, where did they go?
We don't know.
And since they left,
we've been wasting away.
But your arrival revived us.
What if we bring our humans here?
More people means more happiness, right?
According to your memories,
real humans are very hard to please.
As soon as they get what they want,
they want the next thing.
And then the next and then the next.
But dogs! What you want is so specific,
so unwavering.
All you want is us.
And we want you.
Let me see that screen.
Ladybug, ladybug!
[screams]
[groans]
[squeaking]
[panting]
Fake Chelsea seems
to be calling the shots.
If she's anything like my Chelsea,
I bet I can persuade her
to let humans come here.
Captain, they're symbiotic.
A biological relationship
with just two organisms. Not three!
Well lots of great things work
in threes, Chonies.
Tricycles, trilogies, bean dips.
You guys stay here. I got this.
Garbage, this doesn't feel right.
They're hiding something from us.
Well, only one way to be sure.
There's several ways to be sure.
- Ooh, gems. [laughs]
- Ed, no!
Chonies, wait!
- [giggles]
- [gasps]
[growls]
Just for a few minutes.
[yelps]
I know what makes you happy.
Same as everyone.
A comfy blanket!
I slept on a bundle
of discarded reptilian skin
for like 12 dog years.
Blankets are too soft.
My home!
Except Wasn't that tree on the left?
And the front door
was actually made of bacon!
[giggles] Come on in, boy.
And don't eat my door, okay?
[groans]
Mmm!
[laughs maliciously]
Let's see how well you cope
with ghost pepper powder, Loafy boy.
[gulps]
[gagging]
[screaming]
[whines]
[panting]
Huh?
[gulping]
[sighs]
Huh?
[groans]
Ready?
This is exactly how I remember it!
- Do you remember this?
- As well as you do.
[gasps]
Oh, I remember digging this up.
[chuckles] All because you couldn't catch
that pesky squirrel.
Oh, I could definitely catch him now.
Oh, yeah?
[barks]
[grunting]
Ruff!
[barks]
[giggles]
[both laughing]
[FlungFlop] You're a dog.
There must be a human you care about!
Just give me a hint.
Does the thing that brought you joy,
uh, have facial hair?
No, she's
Only got the one huge mustache
that covers its entire face.
[chuckles]
And a unicorn horn.
[giggles] Don't forget the dragon's tail!
Oh, and a monocle.
[giggling]
Want to play?
Oh, I'm not much of a frisbee player
these days, but, uh
Oh, what the heck! [chuckles]
[grunting]
[panting]
I'll-I'll fetch it. Wait here.
Stella, come back!
[laughs gleefully]
[gasps]
[gasps]
- [panting]
- You'll get him next time.
I haven't chased a squirrel in ages!
- That was great!
- [groans softly]
Well, if you stay,
we could do this more often.
Would you like that?
You know I would, but
If you really want to make us happy,
you'd let us get our owners and
Garbage, I'm sorry.
Humans just can't be pleased
like dogs can.
They'll always need more.
They'll never be satisfied.
Chelsea didn't need more.
She just needed me.
She was happy with me.
If the human Chelsea was as happy
as you seem to think she was,
she wouldn't have sent you away.
It's not that simple.
Hey, maybe this will cheer you up.
Happy adopt-a-versary!
We can relive all these whenever you like.
Create new memories, too.
Stay.
Get everything you miss back.
Hmm, I haven't heard
from the Captain in a while.
[softly] Probably because he's off
betraying the mission.
Just got to get that intel.
Loaf to Captain Garbage,
this is Loaf. Hello?
Stella? Anyone?
You're not dying, are you?
Don't worry.
This tranquilizer should calm you down.
Hey! A cheesy poof!
I must have missed you earlier.
[chewing audibly]
[groans]
Are you a Crumpulon?
They said you left the planet.
[languidly] Why would we leave?
We're happy.
[languidly] They make us happy.
[languidly] We gave them all our happy
until we had no happiness.
[chanting] Happy.
So you become nothing.
- [gasp] We've got to get out of
- [Fake Ellie] Stella!
- [growls]
- Come back!
[clicks tongue]
I'd say her arms were more pasta-ey.
Everyone, get to the ship now!
But
If you ever want to see
your real humans again, do as I say!
- Okay, so later, fakey!
- [gasps]
I'm gonna miss you so much!
- [Kira] Come on guys, there's no time.
- Uh?
- [Chonies] Thanks for the game!
- [gasps]
And for the record, I let you win!
- [panting]
- What's wrong?
The Crumpulons never left.
The Shmoops just sucked
all the happiness out of them.
I knew it!
Make sure the others get back.
I'll go find Garbage.
See? Isn't this nice? Just like old times.
I love you, Garbage!
[sniffing]
What's wrong? Something's wrong.
Is it my smell? It's a smell, isn't it?
We can't replicate smells, okay?
We've got every other detail!
Look, you've been great.
The best Chelsea replica
a good boy could ask for.
But I'd always know it's not real.
We'd just be using each other.
Chelsea's using you, too.
Maybe. But my friends aren't.
No, Garbage please. Don't go.
Garbage, please!
- I said you can't go!
- [gasps]
You're not going anywhere.
Garbage, where are you?
I'm right here, home dog!
Home dog?
Uh, I meant, let's go home dog.
- [sniffs]
- [Fake Garbage] Come on!
Come with us! Let us help you.
[languidly] Stay. Let them make you happy.
What? No! I can get you out!
[Crumpulons chanting] Stay.
Stella, come back!
[languidly] Happy here.
Need nothing.
- [Crumpulons chanting] Stay.
- [clicks tongue] Ugh.
[screams, grunts]
[panting]
[gasps]
Would your crew make you happy?
Then stay with us.
[all chanting] Captain.
- [grunts]
- [Fake Stella laughing]
[gasps]
[Chonies] That looks like us!
And Captain Garbage?
[all] Huh?
Hey! Whoa, who's that Rando posing as me?
[laughs nervously] Weird, right?
Team, [clears throat]
I just got a distress call from Happy.
He's in trouble.
Uh, oh, no! Poor Happy!
We better go help him, stat!
I knew it!
[whimpers] Come on home
home dogs. [giggles nervously]
[screaming]
- [all grunting]
- [Fake Garbage screams]
[impact grunts]
[battle cry]
[grunts, gasps]
Ha! This one's for the Crumpulons!
- [groaning]
- This one's for Mr. Spaghetti!
[yells aggressively]
Get off me, me! [grunts]
[barks] Take that, me.
[panting, grunts]
Ow.
Garbage, be a good boy and stay!
Sorry! But today
I'm a bad boy.
[screaming]
[sighs]
[sniffs] Yup. You smell like Garbage.
[grunting]
[Captain Garbage]
Garbage to Loaf. Mission over.
- [gasps, sighs]
- You are relieved.
[yelps]
- [whimpers]
- [laughs]
[gasps, groans]
[snores]
[inaudible]
She manipulated me.
She acted like she cared,
but it didn't matter what happened to me,
as long as I did what she wanted.
I get it.
I'm sorry, but you didn't let her.
The fake Chelsea didn't.
Not just the fake Chelsea.
The real Chelsea, too.
[sighs] It's time we look out
for each other.
We should find a planet
for dogs.
[outro theme music playing]