Eleita (2022) s01e07 Episode Script

1
I'll be the first governor ever
to reduce the bus fare in my city!
-State.
-You're iconic!
I'm finally going to be taken seriously.
Governor, try to understand.
The same family has been running
the transit system in our state
for nearly a century now.
-The Mosca family.
-Who?
Wait! Have you never heard of the Moscas?
They are the bus mafia.
Don't mess with the bus mafia.
Netinho, for God's sake.
You believe in everything!
Bus mafia.
"Look at me! I'm the bus mafia.
-"I'm coming for you!
-Careful there.
"I'm coming for you!
"I'm so afraid of the bus mafia!"
ELECTED
This is a messed up day in Rio.
The bus drivers' strike
is raising hell throughout the state.
Everyone's pissed off
because they can't get to work.
And there is no response
from the government.
Congressman Netinho.
In short,
we're screwed.
I believe in Rio de Janeiro.
I believe in this state.
An entire population living
in the eternal hope
that it's possible to find a way out.
It's quite plucky, if you think about it.
That's why I'm here, Ms. Mosca.
To find a way out.
We are willing to give you
whatever you want
to solve this transportation standstill.
Please understand my situation,
Mr. Congressman.
If I give in now, it's a lost battle.
You know how losing feels, right?
I don't.
Alexa, play suspenseful music.
All right.
If she doesn't revoke her decree
and publicly apologize
to my family and company,
I'll have to get my hands dirty.
And I just got my nails done.
Lígia, we're talking about 20 cents.
It's not about 20 cents.
It's about my reputation.
Tell me
Have you ever heard of a governor
with a mind of their own?
You haven't. Why?
Because they didn't live to tell.
Let me put it this way
Lígia Mosca parked every bus in the city
and said it's a strike, but it isn't.
It's actually a lockout.
All because of your decree.
What's a lockout?
My turn to try.
You looked at her company
and its monopoly on transit and said,
"Babe, lower that ticket, it's expensive."
She was like, "For real?"
And you were like, "You bet, honey."
Bang! Decree approved.
Cheaper rides. Thank me later.
Then she goes, "Hey, sweetheart,
"you don't call the shots here.
Go ahead and bring it on, girl."
Now I get it.
-You can't back down now.
-Back down?
Are you kidding me?
I'm gonna come at her in
What's the highest gear?
No idea.
That one.
Let's go?
You know me, ma'am.
I never turn down a speech.
I can talk, retract,
attack and back off again.
I attack the press, I apologize,
I even spread some fake news.
But you don't mess with the bus mafia.
Are you resigning out of fear?
Let's say I really like not dying.
I've done it for over 60 years.
Take care.
Ladies and gentlemen,
I know all of you are mad at me
because no one makes it to work.
But Mama's here to solve your problem.
If you can't get to work,
I decree an official holiday
until further notice.
-What?
-But, Governor
-For how long?
-Guys, stop it.
It's your day off. Go to the beach.
Go get a drink.
Go check on your children who
Calm down, Netinho!
Go check on your children who are growing
and asking their mother,
"Mommy, where's Daddy?
"Why doesn't he love me?
"He's always working.
"Why is he packing up?
"Why is the pool cleaner coming with us?"
I mean You're welcome!
What am I hearing?
She won't even notice I'm gone. Wanna bet?
I'll notice.
Don't be a stranger.
I need to focus on myself
and get away from the storm.
-She really damaged you, right?
-A fucking lot.
Nanda did warn me.
"Run away before her life absorbs yours."
But love makes us deaf.
Be careful, Teresa.
Watch out for the storm.
He invited everyone from work, except me.
Why not me?
Yeah, why not him?
-I don't want him to see me in drag.
-Why not?
So you're discreet now?
Marlon, every boy disappears
after seeing me dressed up.
And I don't want you to disappear.
I won't, Juan.
Oh no, I'm gonna cry.
You guys are so cute. I love gay people.
Alpha 11.
The team is ready, Your Excellency.
Good luck, honey.
Be cool. This is a display of power.
I will only step out after she does.
I don't have all night!
I came to this shithole just to meet you.
You go first!
At the same time.
-On three?
-Yeah.
Three, two, one.
I'm here to offer an armistice.
I don't know what that means.
A peace treaty.
Let me think about it
I think I don't want it.
We're not men to be competing
over whose vagina is deeper.
Sorry, have I heard "competing"?
I don't know if you are aware,
but I'm the Governor
of fucking Rio de Janeiro.
And I own it.
To me, you're a kind of
housekeeper at most.
You listen to me.
But listen well, because I get tangled up.
I'm going to end you,
your family,
your mafia, the whole fucking thing.
How? With a little TikTok dance?
Very funny. No, I won't.
First, I'm going to establish
a state-level ticketing inspection agency.
Or something like that.
Then, I'll review your contracts.
And I'll finish your monopoly.
And then
It's gonna be a surprise.
So, just to give you a heads-up.
It's very easy to break you.
I only need one thing.
One thing no governor has had until now.
-Courage.
-And do you have it?
Darling, I've licked the doorknobs
of the toilets
of a downtown concert venue
in a reggae show.
I'm not afraid of anything.
This is where my dad celebrated
when he won the elections.
He called this place "Top of the World,"
Netinho Senior.
One day, I was still a kid,
I asked him how to get
to the top of the world.
I wanted to be just like him.
A nice suit, whisky, fire in the belly
Do you know what his answer was?
To me,
a child.
"Climb your way up and never look down."
Congressman,
what do you want from me?
It's time to remove her.
It'll be better for everyone.
-Not for you.
-Screw me.
Where did this come from?
Out of concern.
Genuine?
-Her life is at risk.
-Her life, yeah
From today, crime in Rio is prohibited!
To the end of the bus mafia!
-To the end of all mafias!
-Well said!
What's in it for me?
I don't have access to the vice-governor.
I can give you his master.
Sorrisinho?
Wasn't she your mentor?
Without her, Altair is just a stray dog.
You just have to take him in.
Congratulations, my friend.
You're about to become a pet parent.
The President of the State Senate,
Congresswoman Pastor Hosana,
has just accepted one of the 146
impeachment charges brought to her.
-Give me a mafia.
-Take it.
And I'll put an end to it.
Give me a mafia!
I'll put an end to it
Give me a mafia
Governor Fernanda "Fefê" Pessoa
is being accused of a corruption scheme
Have you seen it, Leilane?
Yeah, I've just said it.
You said nothing. Play the clip, please.
This can't be real!
Wait until you see the funk remix.
The internet doesn't spare anyone.
Where am I?
That was scary, you bitch!
Who are you?
Stop it, Fefê.
Who's Fefê?
Stop faking it.
You don't remember a thing?
Nothing?
It's me, Nanda.
Damn, you're such a sucker.
-You're a jerk.
-I couldn't let that pass.
Jesus Christ, Lígia!
You can't kill everybody.
You can't impeach everybody.
There's the rule of law.
You can't do anything these days.
Look at this situation.
Her approval rating rose
after the hit-and-run.
It's 26% now.
That's only those who enjoy
when she talks about poop.
Whatever.
How can I impeach someone
who has been run over?
You'll be publicly persecuted, Pastor.
The country will stand in shock.
But that's good.
It will give you countrywide exposure.
Two years from now,
we'll be in the Senate. Trust me!
Who is this?
-My Office of Hate.
-Pleased to meet you.
I'll need at least 36 votes
in the State Senate.
I'll pay for it.
I have everybody's accounts.
Oh, that's my boy.
Minipig would love the mini burger.
With a mini soda.
I miss my mini prince.
He misses you too.
The mini longing of Minipig.
The smallest longing in the world.
It's like this small.
Girl, think about it.
Move in with me.
In São Paulo, you are not the governor.
Nobody knows you.
Just picture us living together again.
The Fernandas, just like old times.
Just Fefê and Nanda.
No, girl. My approval rating
went up by 2%.
I'm on a lucky streak.
I just got run over!
I got to an approval rate of 28%.
If I make it to 30%,
I doubt the State Senate will remove me.
Didn't you want an excuse
to leave this behind?
I've changed, girl.
No, you haven't. You're still the same.
Shove it. Go ahead.
I must be really shitty
because after getting run over,
I couldn't exceed my floor.
-Ceiling, Governor.
-What?
The floor is down.
The ceiling is up.
Netinho, are you going
to mansplain it to me?
I never imagined I'd have to do it.
Governor.
Could you let Pastor Hosana know
the antichrist is here?
Can you say it again for Twitter?
Jesus is a transvestite.
God bless you!
I find it hard to believe.
Just move forward.
I don't know why you are so nervous.
You'll see Netinho.
My plan is flawless, you'll see!
Please.
Give me more time
so I can turn a few more votes.
I'm asking, please.
Governor, it doesn't matter
when the vote is.
The score is already decided.
Tomorrow it will be just for show.
Are you kidding me?
You can't mess with the bus mafia.
Nobody told you that?
I told her.
And you really believed you had a shot?
Heaven's glory!
How naive Your Congressman is right.
We should take her away
as soon as possible.
Wait a minute! I'm not getting it.
I do confess
that when Congressman Netinho
proposed your removal,
I found it odd. But now I see.
Netinho, did you ask for my impeachment?
It's not an impeachment.
It's deliverance!
You were in danger.
It's for your own good.
It took me so many sleepless nights.
Asking myself if I was serving the Father.
If I was listening to Him,
or if I was just listening to my vanity.
So, so many doubts. Oh, Father!
But the answer finally came!
I am your savior!
Dude, you people are rotten.
So, Teresa, listen up.
Looks like this was a conspiracy
organized by Netinho and Hosana.
Summing up, Netinho is dead to me.
You are the new Netinho for me.
I am still myself.
-And we
-Fefê.
No, wait.
We'll fight together
against this impeachment.
And then against the bus mafia
No, all the mafias.
And not just that.
We also have to solve the militia issue.
I have it all mapped out.
-Okay? The two of us
-Stop it!
Stop it!
Look around you, Fefê!
Can't you see what's happening?
The end, Fefê and Fefê, the end
meet each other at last.
No, Teresa. I'll fix it my way!
I always do.
Fefê, I'll give you a piece of advice.
There are moments in life
when we really get fucked up a lot.
There are moments
when we get fucked up a little.
But, in this life, the only sure thing
is that we'll always get fucked up.
It's over.
Are you leaving me too?
Oh, Fefê. I'm not gonna be
the Titanic's musicians, right?
This song was playing when we first met.
Remember?
There was no music playing.
In my head it was.
Come back to the palace, baby.
I left and you didn't notice.
Don't say that. It was just one day.
Just one day?
You know you're my First Lady!
That's what I'm talking about.
I'm always a joke to you.
Hey, that again?
That matters to me.
It matters to any relationship.
You're such a pussy.
Stop being sexist.
It's always a joke.
We've spent almost six months together
and I don't know who you are.
-I don't know what's in there.
-What do you wanna hear?
Tell me what you have inside
and I'll come back.
I think there's nothing.
That's why I don't show it.
I'm afraid someone will look
and see there's nothing.
That's what I think I have inside.
It's the shallowest ocean ever.
It's better to joke, right?
Tell me what's inside and I'll come back.
Intestinal gas.
My weird madness
Is trying to understand you
And not be understood
It's to be with you
Trying to be
Part of your life
It's to make your mistakes
For any reason
The reason for my guilt
My weird madness
Is running to your arms
When the fight is over
Always give you reason
And play the role
Of a guilty thug
See you humiliate me
And me somewhere
Totally dependent
On your way of being
My weird madness
Is trying to find out
That the best is you
-I vote yes!
-For my kid's future, I vote
yes!
SUBJECT IMPEACHMEN
YES 61 - NO 17
For my mother, I vote yes.
Your Excellency,
for decency in this country,
I vote yes!
Vice-Governor Altair DaMatta,
it's an honor having you here
the day you're taking the office.
The ceremony starts in one hour.
Could you be brief?
Sure. I just want one thing.
A very simple thing.
I want to hear from you
that starting today, you'll be
my bitch!
What?
Full and complete submission.
So you can govern in peace.
Do you understand?
Say it.
I'm your boss and you are
-What?
-What are you?
-Me?
-What are you? Tell me.
I'm
You don't want to end up
like the ex-Governor, do you?
So tell me, Altair.
-You're my Say it.
-I'm
-What are you?
-I'm your bitch!
That's it!
God bless you. Take care.
Excuse me.
Who's the fucking boss?
-It's you
-Get out!
Alexa!
Play fucking funk music.
Here it goes.
What I'll miss the most in this palace?
The toilet, for sure.
One hundred and eighty days
without my toilet.
It'll be hard to poop somewhere else.
But I'll come back, guys.
Listen up. I will be back.
I will poop here again.
I told them not to let you in.
You're not the boss.
And we must talk.
Only because I'm needy.
Until they release
Congresswoman Sorrisinho,
you can count on me.
No, there's no need. I'm fine.
It's silly, nevermind.
You can talk.
You know when you sit in a chair
and it is still warm?
And you wonder,
"Was I really supposed to sit here?"
Is it really my place? You know? I'm
I'm thinking about it all the time.
You are a man, white, straight.
Straight, right?
Your family owns an asphalt plant.
I'd say you can sit anywhere you please.
Oh, my God.
Look, God is witnessing.
I'm trying not to sound like a cliché,
but do you know Moses' story?
From soap operas.
Because a lot of people think
he opened the Red Sea and crossed it.
-Didn't he?
-It wasn't like that.
Moses kept going.
He kept going, straight into the sea.
Oh, my God.
When he thought
he couldn't keep going, the sea opened up.
And he crossed it. Get it?
Oh, that's good.
If you're certain, like Moses was,
that you are the chosen one,
you just have to cross. With faith.
Then the sea will open.
And for those who are not so certain?
Then it's better not to cross it.
Dying from drowning
is one of the worst ways to die.
Heavens.
It's always Friday night somewhere.
So Netinho, I'm all ears.
What's your great idea?
You're going public about being an idiot.
What?
You say to everyone that you had no clue
of what was going on
in your administration. Not a clue.
And the party chose you for governor
precisely for that.
"To make a fuss,"
while Equilibrium was working peacefully.
You have committed no crime
because actually
you have committed nothing.
This will make me look
like a court jester.
-Exactly! That's your defense.
-That I'm a circus monkey?
And I am witness.
It will be my end.
But I'm sure it'll be
a new beginning for you.
You will lie at the court under oath
just to save me?
Yeah, I
I wouldn't be lying.
My God. This is so me.
I thought I was making a big joke.
In the end, I was the joke.
This will be the ultimate proof
of your innocence.
What do you say? Let's win this cause.
I can't have a single minute of peace.
Altair DaMatta just took office
at Rio de Janeiro's Government
and he resigned already.
I ran for Vice-Governor, so I don't
Thank you.
Sorry.
Do you know who's the next in line?
The Senate's President.
Do you know Pastor Hosana?
Leilane, this won't be good.
The state of Rio de Janeiro
is under new management.
And we are going upwards!
Because the globalist polyamorous,
the libertines disguised as liberals,
the heralds of "anything goes"
drowned the respectful citizen
in a real moral slush.
Because they use
the Lottie Dottie Chickens of Troy
to indoctrinate our children
in the Frozen lesbianism.
But this will change now.
If the Governor, ex-Governor,
wants to try to get back into office,
so be it, but come with faith,
because God put me here
and the Devil won't take me away.