Felicity s01e07 Episode Script

Previously on "Felicity" Okay, this is about Ben.
All right.
- Oh, this is way too weird.
- No.
No, wait a minute.
It's okay.
Is it possible to be just friends with someone I have these sort of immoderate feelings for, or am I doomed forever to just be in love and ultimately, I think, significantly hurt? So you like Ben, too? Okay, does everybody like Ben? Is it Ben? No.
Yes.
Okay, here's my problem.
Um, there's this guy on my floor who's in love with this girl.
He's got - He's got a real connection with her.
That's - That's what he tells me.
Uh, but she keeps coming to him with problems about another guy.
Woman: Dude, he's got the "nice guy/friend" thing.
Well, except that - that he swears there's a spark there, you know, that there's something between him and this girl.
He just can't, I don't know, make it happen somehow.
I'm sorry, uh, but this resident advisor's meeting is supposed to be about the new fire code.
Chill out.
We're allowed to share advisee horror stories.
So, I don't understand.
What's the problem exactly? This guy keeps coming to me about this girl, and he doesn't know what to do.
And - And - And I don't know what to tell him.
He's gotta draw the line.
What? Yeah, if there's this guy that loves this girl and all she's doing is talking to him about another guy, then he's gotta draw the line.
Yeah, he's gotta say to her, "Hey, look, "I like you, but I don't want to be your girlfriend.
"I don't want to talk to you about this other guy anymore.
So stop it.
Stop talking to me about this other guy.
" He's gotta-- He's gotta draw the line.
Yeah, that's kinda obvious.
Right.
Dear Sally do you want to hear a weird word? Buttinsky.
No, it's - it's actually in the dictionary.
It means "a person given to butting in, "a troublesome meddler, troublemaker.
" I-- I don't mean to be, but I'm a buttinsky - I mean, obviously.
And it's sort of ruined my whole life.
L- I was at work on Saturday, making a cappuccino for some guy who kept calling me "Honey Bun" - Which is really attractive - and for some reason, I looked up.
I am a troublesome meddler.
I rewrote Ben's essay, he's still mad, and I'm pretty sure he's never going to forgive me.
God, I am such a buttinsky.
Elena: I was holding for the Financial Aid officer.
Yes, Elena Tyler - "T-Y -L -E -R.
" Yes, I'll hold.
Thank you.
Hey.
Uh hi.
Um, I'm on the phone.
I'd like you to meet Mr.
Webster.
You found it.
Yeah.
Bleecker Bob's.
It's for you.
But I don't even have a record player.
I think that's what this is.
It was used, so don't freak out like I spent real money.
- I can't take that.
- Yeah, you can.
Cassettes and CDs are no good.
It's just fact.
You know, I mean - I can't.
Why not? What, you like guys with more hair? 'Cause I might do that for you, but you're pushing it.
Yes.
Uh, yes, sir.
Uh, Elena Tyler.
Could you hold, please? I mean, I can't take it because I don't know if I'm staying here.
Is now a good time for me to ask what the hell you're talking about? You gotta go.
Uh I'll call you later.
Okay, listen to this.
There's this alumni guy, a partner in what's apparently a very important talent agency in Los Angeles.
And he's coming to speak to my film class in two weeks.
- That could be good.
- No, no.
I haven't told you the thing yet.
They picked three films to show this guy, and mine was first.
- Congratulations.
- Your documentary? No, no, "Stiletto" - I mean, l-I know the odds are nothing, but apparently, last year, an agent came to speak and actually signed a sophomore student.
You're kidding.
Don't get your hopes up.
Nice attitude.
Um anyway, l-I wanted to - to add some music in a couple scenes - um, some guitar stuff.
What? You - You want me to do it? If it takes longer than three hours, I'll pay you.
Zack, you don't have to pay me.
- So you'll do it? - Of course.
I'm so proud of you.
I should go reserve the room.
I'll call you later.
Okay.
What, public kissing? I know, that's, like, a statement, right? Did you guys screw yet? Elena! She's like that.
Wow, okay.
Um, no.
We haven't.
I just - I like him.
So what's going on? Are - Are you and Ben Screwing? No.
Talking? No.
Uh, I'll be right back.
Hey.
Are you, um What, are you not talking to me? No, I'm talking to you.
See? I'm talking to you right now.
We're sitting over there, i- if you want No.
Taking this to go.
I'll see ya.
Felicity: So I don't know what to do.
If what I did just destroyed whatever hope there was of us ever actually being anything, then I guess I have to live with that.
But before that whole paper thing happened, we were getting closer.
I mean, we were developing something.
- You and - You and Ben? - Yeah, I mean, I think there was this actual real friendship starting, which now I just made the pendulum swing in the opposite direction.
Ben hates me now.
He ignores me in class.
He won't even have a conversation with me.
* There's no story greater * - That's - Yeah, that's too bad.
- I know.
So any advice would help, even if it's just "shut up.
" * we all play our part * - * Our story of love * - You know - * has yet to be told * - there's - there's something I gotta do.
- * So tell me you're mine, dear * - What? * to have and to hold * I've - I've gotta draw Draw what? * So let's start our story of love * A comparison between what you're going through and something that happened to a friend of mine.
Oh, tell me.
this is-- this is what I think.
Okay, um * Our story of love * * has yet to be told * - * So tell me you're mine, dear * - Go to his apartment.
- * to have and to hold * - Say you left something there.
And while you're looking for whatever it is, you'll have a little more chance for conversation.
- *So let's start our story of love * - Oh, okay.
I see.
I'm sure that's all you need.
* So let's start our story of * - * lo-o-ve * - You are such a good friend, I can't stand it.
Yeah, me neither.
Hey.
Did you touch my box? - What? - My box - did you open it? I- I didn't even know you had a box.
This is it! This is my box.
I- I 've never seen it.
Well, then how did it move? Did you ask the box? - I have a right to privacy.
- Which brings up a good point - Why is this room a double? It's big enough to be two rooms.
- It's got two doors.
- Don't change the subject.
I didn't.
It's the same subject.
There wouldn't be a privacy issue if there were a wall right here.
I'm taking my box with me.
Please.
Take your box with you.
Reverse psychology is not gonna work on me.
In addition, the Housing Department wants us to talk to all of our advisees, one-on-one, about the significant damage caused by dorm graffiti.
Please.
Who here is aware that the singular of "graffiti" is "graffito"? Which l-I urge you to use in conversation.
It freaks people out.
Let me ask you this - how are we supposed to do all of these things, plus talk to people about graffito, plus do our own work? I don't get it.
I feel like a one-woman psychiatric- services department.
I mean, there's, like, one girl on my floor who's not bulimic.
Her name's Candy, which is pretty ironic.
There's this bastard, right, from Baltimore in 1014, - who keeps urinating in the sink, man.
- Ew! So I told him for the 10th time, "Stop urinating in the sink.
" And he's like - and he's not joking either - "Oh, yeah, I keep forgetting.
" What the hell is that, man?! I told that kid to draw the line, right? But, he, uh, he had some real difficulty doing that.
No one ever said drawing the line was easy.
You need to tell this guy, next time that girl goes to him - hard as it may be - "Draw the line, and stick with it.
" Yeah.
Okay.
I'll tell him.
Sean: Hey.
What's up? Come on in.
I left a notebook last time I was here.
I was just wanting to pick it up.
Oh, sucks losing a notebook, doesn't it? - Yeah, it really does.
- This is mine.
This is, uh, my idea book.
This is where I record all my big ideas.
See Is - Is Ben here? Ben! What? It's for you! See, the original idea book was stolen.
Yeah, l-I remember that.
Yeah.
I still have hope, though, that I'll get it back.
That's good.
Anyway, he'll be out in a sec.
I'm just - I'm over here working on this killer idea.
Okay.
Thank you.
It's like, uh, quarters, but it's a board game.
I call it "The Quarter Master.
" Oh, this is such a good one.
- Hey.
- Hi.
I left my notebook here last time.
Have you seen it? Um, no.
I don't think so.
What color is it? Oh, it's blue.
Blue.
So, you know what I was thinking? That when you first get to college, it's like - it's such a shock to the system.
It's all so new, and-- and you're adjusting to so much that it's probably not unusual for people to do some pretty crazy things, you know? I bet, if there were a study done, you'd see that that's the case.
What are you talking about? That I can't believe what I did-- rewriting your paper.
I really think that I've grown up a lot in the past week.
Really? Well, that must feel good.
Hey, so are you gonna be mad at me forever? I'm not mad at you.
I'm nothing.
You know, I think I might have left the notebook in Julie's room.
All right.
Well, if I find it, I'll bring it to class.
How's that? Thanks.
Come in.
Are you busy? Just working on my page.
Your what? My Web page - noelcrane.
com.
Why do you have a Web page? Why does anyone have a Web page? Too much free time, not enough friends justifying owning a computer.
What's up? So I went to Ben's apartment.
Okay.
It was horrible.
I told him that I'd left a notebook there, but I'm pretty sure he knew I was making it up.
Yeah, uh, l-I have to stop you there.
What? I'm drawing the line.
Wait.
What? Yeah, uh, I don't I don't want to talk about you and Ben anymore.
I'm not - I'm not gonna be your girlfriend.
Were you ever going to be my girlfriend? I know it seems weird, and it may be selfish, but I don't want to be that guy - you know, the one who always comes and talks to you about that other guy.
Really? Yeah, that bugs the hell out of me.
And that's - that's why I'm drawing the line.
So, um you and I can't talk about Ben? That's right.
Anything else, though, you know? Ben's clothes Just kidding.
You understand, right? Good.
Well, you don't - you don't have to leave.
Oh, no.
I know.
Um, l-I just don't want to cross the line.
Thank you.
I mean, l-I 'll just - I'll talk to you later.
Okay.
But not about Ben.
Okay.
- Hey.
- Hi.
Oh, you're going out.
Yeah, I'm gonna go, um, meet Zack.
He's going to show me the scenes he wants me to do music for.
What's going on? Oh.
Nothing.
Are you gonna be back soon? I don't know.
Why? Do you need me? No.
Are you sure? Wow it's amazing.
You guys have a whole situation.
What do you mean? Just you and Zack - I mean, you're so happy.
And you like each other so much.
And, God, I'm so jealous, it's embarrassing.
You're jealous of me and Zack? I mean, obviously in the best way.
I'm so happy for you.
Well, you are still my closest friend.
You don't have to say that.
So you mean that? Of course.
I'll call you when I get back.
Okay.
Have fun.
Thanks.
Elena's not there.
I just saw her in the Financial Aid office.
Why? I thought maybe you'd know.
Oh, no.
She's been acting pretty weird.
Yeah, she keeps shutting me down.
The harder I try, it just gets worse.
Do you ever have that with her? Uh, not so much with Elena.
I've been getting that a little with Ben, though.
Yeah? - I think I'm pretty nice.
- I think you are, too.
- And I'm not the worst-Iooking guy.
- You? You should be a model.
- And look at you.
- No, don't do me.
No, look at you.
You're smart and beautiful.
If Ben's turning you down, he's out of his mind.
What's wrong with these people? Well, you can't take everything Elena does so personally.
You do with Ben.
Yeah, but that's me and Ben.
I wouldn't worry about Elena.
I work in the Admissions office for work-study, and there are always all these files of students having financial trouble.
I mean, it could be anything.
They may have just lost some of her paperwork.
What? You work in the Admissions office? No, I mean, l-I can't look at her file.
I don't want to be a buttinsky.
Yeah.
No, l-I understand.
Except Elena said she might have to leave.
I think something serious is going on.
I just - I haven't had much luck with things like that.
I mean, I get in trouble, and there are fights and I'm not gonna ask you to read her file.
Good.
I really think that's crossing the line.
Will you do it? What? You looked in my box, didn't you? God, I did not look in your box! - Did you pick it up? - Huh? When I wasn't here, did you pick up the box - you know, hold it up? - No.
- Did you shake it? I didn't pick it up.
How could I shake it? What - what the hell is in there anyway? See? You're curious.
Of course I'm curious.
Every five minutes you're asking me if I looked in your box.
Did you? Let's say I did.
Let's say I rummaged through all your stuff and went through your box and saw all your naked pictures or drugs or whatever.
Well, that's interesting.
What is? Deny it all you want.
I'm buying a fingerprint kit.
- Hey! - Huh? What? This is totally unacceptable! - What is? - This line.
This-- this line you've drawn.
How dare you draw a line?! Who are you to draw a line? Well, what are you-- what are you gonna do, force me to talk about Ben? Well, and you're happy with that - a conditional friendship? No, I don't, um Maybe.
I don't know what you mean by that.
It means that you are setting boundaries on our conversation.
No.
I'm setting one boundary.
This is because you have feelings for me, isn't it? I'm happy - Mm I'm still waking up.
Give me a second.
I'm happy to be friends with you as long as it's not all about Ben.
And what ever happened to Hanna? I never said I still don't have a long-distance girlfriend.
But This is complicated.
I mean, I realize we're not even remotely dating in any way, but I can't help my feelings for you.
And since when has it been all about Ben? - And how can you keep doing this? - Doing what? Insisting you're just fine being my friend and turning around and having all these feelings.
Wait a second.
How is what I'm doing to you any different than what you're doing to Ben? Excuse me? Yeah, one minute everything's "perfectly fine, we're friends, I swear.
" And the next minute you're-- you're doing his homework for him and-- and following him around like some lovesick schoolgirl.
- You know what?! - What? Maybe I am a lovesick schoolgirl.
Okay, good.
Yellow - what does that mean? That, this thing isn't fun? Okay, you just gotta get into the game.
That's all it is.
Okay, yellow is, uh, 20 points, and you get to go again.
- All right? - Okay.
It's just like darts.
Except without the darts.
Go ahead.
- Ready? - Yeah.
Good.
Yellow.
Okay, 10 points.
Okay, you're up.
I appreciate you guys, by the way, helping me test this out.
Did you talk to Elena? No, uh, but Felicity's helping me out with that.
Oh terrific.
Hey, blue.
10 points.
Good.
- This is a close game.
- What's your problem with her? - You're up.
- I don't want to talk about Felicity.
Man, she presses your buttons.
Felicity's trouble.
That's all I know.
He won, right? No.
Okay.
- You each had 10 rolls? - Mm-hmm.
Okay, so now we go to the bonus round, right, where each, uh, color value is worth double.
All right? You're up.
You may think she's trouble.
She might even be trouble, but she's got a good heart.
I like her.
Oh! Overshooter.
Two out of three? - Mnh, no.
- Mnh, no.
I think one of my advisees, I swear to God, is running a sex line from her room.
Why? Why do I think that, or why is she doing it? You walk past her room, and there's moaning - constant, exaggerated moaning.
And she's always alone in there.
At first, I thought she was, like, a real self-satisfier.
But I'm pretty sure it's a business.
You know that guy I told you about with the girl? - Yeah.
- Well, he drew the line.
Yeah, what happened? Oh, tragedy.
Um, she got really pissed off.
That's normal.
Yeah? Well, he's thinking about going back and redrawing the line.
- No, no, no.
- He can't do that.
Well, why not? What do you mean? If he does that, he risks her drawing her own line.
Really? Well, what do I tell him? Tell him to stick with the first line.
What a boner.
- Oh, yeah, this - this guy's an idiot.
- Mm-hmm.
Okay, I was thinking of something like that for the, um, for the driving scene.
That's fantastic.
Come on.
No, no.
I'm serious.
Yeah? Yeah.
Yeah, it's really - it's really good.
It's - It's simple.
Wow.
Okay.
Um I was also thinking that this would be good for the scene when Sal and Claudia sleep in the backyard.
Zack Zack let's go slow.
Sure.
Yeah, sorry.
It's okay.
Hey.
Hi.
I thought I'd catch you before you left school forever and I never saw you again.
Yeah, it's been a crazy week.
I I really do owe you an explanation.
- No, you don't.
- Yeah, I do.
Um I'm - I'm really mad at my dad.
He's been traveling all year, you know, and, um a-as it turns out, he never paid my tuition bill.
And now he's saying he's having second thoughts about where he wants me to go to college.
And I'm just like, "Thanks, Dad.
Great.
Great timing.
" Oh, he's like that.
He's always - I know what's going on.
What do you mean? I mean, I know your scholarship didn't go through and that your dad doesn't make enough money to help but just enough so you don't qualify for most financial aid.
But I've got something for you.
Where'd you find this? There are these really specific scholarships.
Some are so specific, it's - it's wild.
There's this old woman who offers a private scholarship.
Read the qualifications.
It's pretty spooky.
They sort of describe you.
"African-American female from New York or New Jersey, "pre-med "moderate-to-Iow-income family with one parent attending a New York college.
" I called the woman just to see if there was even a shot.
She didn't award the scholarship this year.
So it's available.
"Moderate-to-Iow-income family with one parent.
" You should call that woman.
What makes you think this applies to me? I asked a friend to check your file.
- Who did you ask? - You wouldn't tell me anything.
- I didn't know what else to do.
- Just tell me who it was.
Felicity.
Felicity looked up my file? Yeah, as a favor to me so I could help.
You better call that woman.
You drink a lot of coffee? Okay, look I'm - I'm - I'm here to redraw the line.
- Oh, really? - Yeah.
- Well, you can't just do that.
- Yes, of course, I can.
I drew it.
The line isn't the problem.
It's a symptom.
Wait.
Of - Of what? - Of some fundamental discord.
The - The line is a symptom of some fundamental discord? - Hold on.
Let me explain-- - Thank you.
- Thank you.
Yes.
And, you know, you were right about me not talking to you about Ben.
That was a mistake, and I should have seen that.
Hold on a second.
Let me explain where I'm redrawing the line.
You can - You can come and talk to me about anything, including Ben but excluding sex.
I can put up with hearing about Ben, all right? I just don't ever want to hear about the two of you having sex.
Don't ever talk to me about you and Ben in the context of sex, and I'll be fine.
Noel, you sound ridiculous.
Which is why now, I'm gonna have to draw the line.
God, I knew you were gonna do that! Well, I don't know what else to do.
Okay, so where does - where does yours go? - Well, I just think that-- - Where did you find this? Did you just look in the ghetto file? My record is my business.
You had no right.
I don't need this.
Well, how else are you gonna stay? Having my tuition paid because I don't have as much money as you or your friends or because I'm black - I'd rather not stay.
- We were just trying to help.
- Do you want to know about me? - What are you looking at? - I was here first.
I went to Elkins Academy.
It's in Westchester - one of those brick-and-ivy schools where the kids had nicer cars than the teachers.
- You know why I went there? - No.
That school paid for me to be there.
They'll give you all sorts of answers why, but the two reasons Elkins took me were this - I am black, and I am underprivileged.
You're also smart.
It didn't matter.
I was a poor black girl, and every student knew it.
That scholarship I was supposed to get - It was awarded to me based on merit.
Yeah, l-I know.
Not race.
Not income.
I deserved it.
I worked for it.
That's the one promise I made myself.
I'm not gonna be a cliche.
So thanks for your handout, but no, thanks.
Um, so the - Uh, about the line The housing office has asked us to inform all advisees - Oh, this is ridiculous.
- What? - Of the new ordinance prohibiting the use of dormitory corridors as impromptu bowling allies.
I got a spare last night.
So, this, uh, guy redrew the line.
- Oh, God! - Not again.
- Agh! But I don't think it would have been any better had he remained firm - I mean, with the first line he drew.
So what did she say, man? That they aren't, uh, really friends anymore.
You know what? This isn't just, like, a crush.
This is a thing.
This is, like, a deeper kind of relationship.
Just quit playing games and be honest with her.
You already told her you like her, right? Right.
So that's all you can do - be a good friend, and if it's ever gonna be anything more than that, it'll happen - but only if you're still her friend.
Did you guys always know that it was me? - Yes.
- Uh, yeah.
- It was kind of obvious.
- Absolutely, absolutely.
- Ow! - Sorry.
What? That was - that was fun - just recording music and - and going out and then coming back talking to you - now.
Come in.
Hey.
You said Felicity something about, uh not having as much money as she does or as her friends do.
The big, fat secret's out.
Elena's not who you thought I was.
Well, I don't-- I don't know who you thought I thought you were, um, but - but this is who I am, okay? Um I got-- I got a scholarship from my high school, too, and mine came through, but it was only for $ 1, 000- a drop in the bucket.
So I applied for 28 separate grants.
I got three of them - another $5, 000.
I had to take out a loan that'll haunt me till I'm 30.
I wrote letters to more companies than I can remember, begging to be sponsored.
My parents could barely afford to send me to New York - forget the university.
You thought I was some rich kid, right? Didn't you think I was? I didn't care.
I just knew that I'll never be judged by how I get through college, but I might be judged if I never go at all.
Noel, you're giving me a speech.
It's a speech moment, you know? Look, I went to embarrassing lengths to pay a lot of money to be here right now talking to you.
So here's my point - No one cares.
No one cares how I pay for school, and no one cares how you do it, either.
You know, those kids that didn't get in here, they'd kill you because of your attitude, and I might tell them about you.
Good.
Okay.
I'm not gonna pretend that I've been through the same thing as you, but if there were a scholarship for white, Irish-Catholic kids with preppy clothes and Web pages, I'd grab it - No humility, no shame.
Hi.
I thought about it.
Decided it was pretty stupid to turn down something without figuring out what it was all about.
I think that's smart.
So l-I called her - Alicia Simmons.
Pretty amazing woman.
Yeah, s-she sounded pretty cool.
One of the first black women to graduate med school in New York.
She graduated second in her class.
Anyway, um we talked, and she offered me full tuition, no terms.
That's great.
Yeah, except I told her I wanted to add a term.
I want to pay her back, but she turned me down.
So what happened? Dr.
Simmons added her own term - when I get to be a doctor that I make the same offer to someone else.
You okay with that? Yeah.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Hey.
Hi.
So, uh Blair told me what you did.
What? Helping her out - Elena - uh, finding her that scholarship.
That was - That was really cool.
Oh thanks.
Hey.
You okay? I'm fine.
Well, you weren't in class.
You know that brown sweater that you borrowed, like, three weeks ago that you told me I could have back tomorrow? - Yeah.
- I'd - I'd like it back.
Sure.
Are you sure you're okay? I'm fine.
I just want my sweater back.
It makes me feel good.
I just would like it back.
Fine.
Then you can give me back my Sarah McLachlan CD, and then we won't owe each other anything.
Okay, take it.
It's right over there.
Hey what's going on? We came back here last night, me and Zack.
Did you sleep with him? He was pretty aggressive.
He just fell asleep when he was finished.
He just rolled over and fell asleep.
Julie he didn't I just sat in this chair all night.
I don't know why I'm so surprised.
But you didn't want to have sex with him? No.
Did you tell him that?