Fired on Mars (2023) s01e07 Episode Script

1
[Grunts]
Okay,
that's the last of it.
Let's get out of here.
Wait. Hubert's lab.
Oh, shit.
[Buttons beep]
[Buzzer]
What? Wh
[Buttons beep,
buzzer]
It's not working.
[Buttons beep]
[Clanking, radio chatter
in distance]
Shit.
♪
[Locusts buzzing]
♪
[Sighs] I'm getting too old
for this shit.
♪
Darren, why is it
I always find myself
in some dank Godforsaken corner
of the colony with you?
That's a great question.
Did you know my daughter
plays youth soccer?
She does.
And today my wife told me
that if I didn't show up
for the game
we'd have to discuss
a trial separation.
I'm not at the game, Darren.
I'm here
with you
in this disgusting
fucking basement,
trying to figure out
how a literal plague of locusts
happened to blow up
the entire colony
just days before Marsiversary,
the most important moment
of this year.
My most important moment
of this year.
Uh, sir, excuse me, you're gonna
want to take a look at this.
[Grunts]
Quick.
They're coming.
I'm going as fast as I can.
What is this,
a food pantry?
Wh what are we looking
at here?
Security Guard:
I'll tell you what the fuck
you're looking at.
[Sniffs]
That's enough
potassium nitrate
to wipe this whole colony
off the map.
Terrorists, great.
I-I-I don't know if we need
to use the "T" word, Brandon.
No one can know
about this.
Cover it up,
find out
who's responsible,
and get rid of 'em
now.
This place is a fucking
rat's nest
of corporate malfeasance, okay?
Fuckin' conspiracies.
Conspiracies.
I got two words for ya
Steve Case.
Yeah. He knows.
Give him a call.
I'll call him right now.
They reel ya up here,
promise you the world,
then take it all away
till you're nothing.
Sorry.
Don't look at me.
I didn't do it.
Please stand by for a
"Mars.ly News" special report.
Hey, turn it up.
Hey, team.
As you may have noticed,
we had some unexpected visitors
in our little colony last night.
Well, the good news is there's
nothing to be worried about.
These critters were part
of Mars.ly's
experimental food program,
and a recent initiative
to ramp up
fertility levels was, well,
a little too successful.
But thanks to some major hustle
from our essential workers
who are truly
Jesus Christ.
Welcome to
planet bullshit.
Signs of intelligent life
zero.
These yuppie fucks have no idea
what they're dealing with.
What is it this time,
Sully?
Are the bugs terrorists?
Fucking "A" right
they are.
You're looking at
a cover-up, Jack.
They think
we're idiots.
Well, they're about to get
a big fucking surprise.
Alright, well,
give 'em hell, Sully.
Yeah, go get 'em, man.
What are they again,
alien bug terrorists?
Kyle.
It's okay, babe.
Hey bartender, another beer
here for my buddy Kyle.
This one spilled.
What are you talking ab
hey!
What the hell, man?
[Chuckles]
♪
Di Wei: Password?
Turtledove.
No, no, Abbas. Incorrect.
If you know it's me,
why do I need a password?
Security.
Someone's coming.
Let me in.
Okay.
Give me the password then.
I forgot.
Then I cannot let you in.
I am the current head
of Buckys.
I make the passwords.
So make a new password.
Hello.
Okay.
"I love you. One, two, three."
That's the new password.
Let me in.
Password please?
I love you.
[Groans] I love you.
One, two, three.
[Clicks tongue]
Bad memory.
That's a very bad memory, Abbas.
Idiot.
We are being hunted.
They think we are terrorists
because of that stupid
meat-curing powder.
Wait, where is Jeff?
Yes, where is Jeff?
I'm not usually one
to cast blame
but the boy released the locusts
and then he disappears?
Curious.
Jeff is very very bad man.
Look, Jeff is an idiot, okay?
And I am extremely angry
with him.
But this was just
an accident.
The fellow made
a huge mistake.
The least he can do
is correct it.
Yet the coward hides.
This is fucked.
We're fucked.
All those years of work
just to rot
in this corporate
fucking Death Star.
We are flying into hell
on this Death Star.
Will you shut up, please?
Martin and I destroyed
all the evidence
we could last night.
However,
we were unable to collect
a certain someone's meticulously
labeled archive of DNA samples,
because someone
changed the password.
Hm.
Unfortunate indeed.
Well, given the urgency
of the situation
I would be willing
to share the new password
with lean, young Martin so that
he may collect it with haste.
What is it with you people
and your passwords?
Hubert,
this is your fault.
You fix it.
And where the hell is Jeff?!
[Sighs]
Everything okay there,
"J" man?
Uh, yeah, no,
just got a lot on my mind
and, you know,
maybe we should
I think
we should push this,
because it seems
like Tee's
probably not going to show, and
♪
We gonna get started
on this shit or what?
Uh, hey, Tee.
Yeah, so, uh, why don't we
just jump right in?
I took everyone's notes
into account
and here's the new direction.
[Monitor beeps]
I call this one
"The Architect."
[Monitor beeps]
This one is "Baby Talk."
And, uh
[Monitor beeps]
Apex.
It's really
when you break it down,
it's about, uh, the sense
of exploration, innovation,
a physical but also
psychological frontier.
It's really
Stop.
♪
No notes.
It's stunning.
I mean,
look at that fractal.
It's a masterpiece, Jeff.
Uh, well, actually, a-a lot
of what you're looking at,
those are Tee's ideas,
so I really can't take credit.
Nah, don't listen to him.
He's lying.
Shit's all Jeff.
Fucking Fibonacci up in here.
Jeff, this is a challenging
moment for the company.
Liz: People are asking questions.
And who can blame them?
The locusts,
the missing equipment,
the weird fucking secret club
in the basement.
There are subversive elements
threatening our core business.
Hey, someone in this room
right now
could be
a subversive element.
Brandon:
That's exactly right, Ted.
The shareholders
are counting on us.
Not to mention Falco.
[Scoffs]
The world is watching.
And we need the messaging
to be perfect.
"30 years of adventure."
"30 years of wonder."
Hmm.
"30 years of memories."
"30 years of shit."
[Chuckles]
Not the language
I would've chosen,
but, uh,
he's got a point.
We need some fresh lines.
Uh, I'm more
of a conceptual guy,
not exactly a writer
per se,
but maybe this is something that
I should talk to Midori about?
Um, yeah.
Sure, Jeff.
She's out there somewhere.
Yeah, while we're at it maybe
I can track down Amelia Earhart.
[Laughter]
Thanks a lot, Jeff.
Really glad to be working
with you on this.
[Door closes]
♪
[Locust chirps]
God damn it.
"From the sky they descended
with an insatiable hunger"
Hey.
"devouring everything
before them."
Get the hell
out of my office.
Happened to catch
your little news segment.
Experimental food program, huh?
Too bad I'm allergic
to bullshit.
What do you got,
shit in your ears?
Get out now.
You don't remember me,
do you?
Trevor Sullivan
Senior Mechanic,
Applied Robotic Technology.
That is until you assholes
gutted it and sold it for scrap
just like everything else
that used to matter around here.
Congratulations. Now get
the fuck out of my office.
I believe there's a sleeper cell
of terrorists
festering in our midst.
And this bug bullshit
is a warning shot.
Might be the only
warning shot we get.
Okay, smart guy,
even if that were true,
which it is not, what the fuck
would you do about it?
[Locust buzzes]
Poof.
♪
Yeah, what?
Uh, biohazard sweep,
my boy.
Say what?
Yep, we'll do our best
to find the queen
then we can analyze her
for harmful pathogens.
Hey.
Let's hope it's not
Bubulum Stercus.
A few snuffs of that,
and you might find yourself
incapable of breathing.
Listen, man,
I ain't got time for this.
That is, of course,
if your bowels haven't
already filled
with blood.
Hey, hey, hey.
Alright, alright,
alright, alright.
That's enough.
Go on. Get.
♪
[Knock on door]
Who is it?
Jeff.
Go away.
Crystal, come on.
I need to talk.
Please let me in.
Crystal.
There is nothing
to talk about.
Leave.
Let me in.
♪
Sorry for missing the meeting.
I wanted to
Do you understand
how serious this is?
I'm sorry.
I've got a lot going on,
and I've been doing
the best that I poss
They think
we're terrorists.
And because of your mistake,
the mission is over.
It's all over.
I mean, I know you were really
looking forward
to getting out there.
This wasn't some
fucking holiday, Jeff.
This was our lives.
Okay, well, I care about you
way more than this other stuff.
Maybe we can all just
take a beat, regroup.
I mean, hey, summer,
it's right around the corner.
The seasons are cha well,
the seasons aren't changing,
but movie night's
coming back.
What are you talking about?
You know, it's funny,
I keep defending you
to the Buckys,
and you keep
defending Mars.ly.
You don't understand, okay?
Things are they're
complicated for me right now,
things that
you should know about.
No, I understand
perfectly well.
You never cared about
the mission.
You only cared
about yourself.
Oh, up in
your ivory tower
everything is
so black and white.
Hey, I'm sorry I ruined
your chances of going out
in the middle of fucking nowhere
to choke down grasshoppers
and wait for the oxygen
to run out.
[Chuckling] God.
I was so stupid.
I should've listened
to everyone.
Then none of this
would've happened.
♪
Listen, Jeff,
this was a mistake.
A big one.
If somehow we're all lucky
enough to survive this,
I want you to know
that you should
never, ever speak to me again.
And don't kid yourself.
If we get caught,
they're not gonna spare you
just 'cause you're a corporate
dipshit graphic designer.
♪
[Sighs] Ah, Jesus.
[Indistinct conversations
in distance]
How you doing, asshole?
Sorry, I guess
it's Sergeant Asshole now.
Well, look who it is.
Guy who's robot dog
humped his leg so hard
he walks with a limp.
Hey, they find you
a new job,
or are you still
looking for bigfoot?
Funny you should ask.
I actually did get a job
yours.
I'm taking over
this investigation
starting right
fuckin' now.
Yeah, yeah, I got to talk
to Darren about this.
Yeah, while you're at it,
tell him
I said this crime scene's
a fucking disaster.
Looks like we got our work
cut out for us, ladies.
Alright, gather around.
Why don't you start
by taking me through
why don't you start
fuck.
Hey, Hardy Boy number one,
go get me a scotch.
It's gonna be
a long fuckin' day.
[Wind gusting]
♪
[Keys jingle, lock clicks]
[Footsteps approaching]
Wha wh wh
wh oh, my God.
Wh what's going on here?
What's going on is,
we've got a problem.
We know
what you've been up to.
Smokey, find this little bitch
a pair of pants.
We going for a walk.
[Radio chatter in distance]
♪
[Buttons beeping,
refrigerator unlocks]
♪
Ah,
bonjour, petit poisson.
♪
[Gasps]
Excuse me, good sir.
Whoa, ho-ho.
What do you got there?
Oh, this.
Just, some
industrial detritus.
Odds and ends.
Bric-a-brac.
Why don't you hand it over,
let me have a look-see?
If it's all the same
to you,
I'll be taking it to evidence,
bagged and tagged.
You know the protocol.
Give it to me now.
Good sir,
you've caught me.
I stumbled upon this tin
of conservas,
and the gastronome
in me took over.
Take your snack,
and get the fuck out of here.
Au revoir, inspector.
♪
Yo, homie!
Hey, fat man!
Come back here!
[Elevator bell dings]
Love the pretzels here.
I-It's good to see
behind the scenes, you know,
where the magic happens.
Yo, what?
Shut your pretzel ass up, bitch.
♪
"For if God did not spare angels
when they sinned
but sent them to hell,
put them in chains of darkness
to be held for judgment."
♪
[Indistinct conversations]
Jeff: Centauri House.
Ah, you must be
the famous Jeff.
Finally we meet.
Let's get you set up
with a puro.
♪
Excellent choice.
A graphic designer with a taste
for cigars
quite the combination.
♪
Your eyes will adjust.
Take it from me
the more you look,
the more you see, hm?
How about something
to drink?
Tell me, Jeff,
do you like mojitos?
[Panting]
I just want to talk
to you.
Hey,
I just want to talk.
♪
[Locust buzzing]
♪
Nero: Do you know what
the Centauri symbolizes, Jeff?
Power. Virility. Brotherhood.
You are part of
that brotherhood now.
Let me explain.
There are two Mars.ly's.
Down there and up here.
You are now up here.
And that comes
with certain privileges.
Let me tell you a story
about Miami.
The restaurants, the women,
the condos
♪
[Cellphone ringing]
Jeff. Jeff.
Jeff,
the phone is ringing.
♪
[Cellphone chimes]
Whoa. Jeff.
Where are you?
Uh, Centauri House, actually.
Wow. Big time, huh?
[Chuckles]
Been hearing your name
a lot down here.
Really impressive stuff, Jeff.
Uh, well, thanks.
Well,
I-I was just calling,
uh, to tell you
I'm coming up.
Y-You're what?
Yeah, they offered me
a big promotion,
and, anyway, I
I just thought it was time.
So I guess
I will see you soon.
Maybe you can buy me a drink
when I'm up there.
Yeah, maybe I
Hey, Jefé can't
talk right now.
Oh, what?
Psh.
Later hottie.
W-W-What'd she say?
Your girl says to give you
a big, fat kiss.
Niños, niños,
calmate, calmate.
The show is
about to begin.
Uh-oh.
♪
Come out, come out,
wherever you are.
Sir, sir, I'm not sure
why you were chasing me,
but I assure you there's
nothing untoward occurring.
In fact, I have my papers
right here.
[Screams]
♪
[Both grunting]
♪
[Panting]
What's your name?
♪
[Panting]
[Growls]
You don't have to
do this.
A man's fate
is not predestined.
I'm not Cotton Mather here.
You ever bang
in zero "G"?
I'll get you and Bella access
to the drop room.
But first, you gotta
talk to the boss.
♪
[Grunts]
[Screams]
[Thud in distance]
It had to be done.
♪
Fibonacci.
In the house.
Hey, man.
Come over here
so I can see that face.
Bro,
you're looking bellissimo.
I mean that.
This place is treating you well.
Yeah tonight's been
really crazy.
I'm still thinking about
that presentation of yours.
You got the goods, man.
Art.
It's important.
Not everyone gets that.
Dace and Smokey,
they're good guys,
but they're not exactly
on the level
as far as
all that goes.
Not like us.
Well, thanks, I mean,
you have great instincts
with that stuff, too.
What do you think
about this room?
I designed it.
It's cool man.
I-I love the design.
I knew you would. Fuck.
I wish we could just do art
all the time.
Me too.
Listen, that's kinda what
I wanted to talk to you about.
Okay.
There's some new shit
on the horizon.
Big plans percolatin'.
Centauri's a good start,
but come on.
Guys like us?
We deserve more.
Totally.
I'm gonna need some help
fixing everything Dad fucked up.
I'm talking amenities,
bowling alleys,
indoor driving ranges,
windows that actually block
out the radiation
unlike
this weak-ass shit.
But really, though?
We should be walking around
outside with no helmets on,
breathing Mars air, looking up
at some vertical gardens,
eating some fresh sushi,
checking out
the Turrell installation.
Too bad that'll take like
a-a thousand years.
Eh, well, not if there was
to be a little, uh,
how do you say,
"nuclear event"?
One nuke for the north pole,
one for the south.
[Chuckles]
Yeah, but
no, uh, but wouldn't that
that'd kill everyone.
Everyone who's not in
the secret nuclear bunker.
Drink?
You know,
I've had a couple
of really strong mojitos
so, actually
[Chuckles] I know, I know.
It sounds crazy.
But that's why it'd have to be
an accident.
I'm not sayin'
it's gonna happen,
it's just, like, well-behaved
men rarely make history.
But either way, bro,
I want you in on all of this.
I need my Fibo-nach
to help me architect
the shit out
of this bitch.
Uh
[Door opens]
And if the nukes
do come?
Damn sure there's a spot
in the bunker for Fibo-nach.
And I think we can find room
for the lovely Ms. Bella, too.
I was watching your moves
out there.
Good stuff.
Yeah, she's a fun ride. Freaky.
Definitely knows
what she's doing.
Whew!
It's that time
of night.
Googoo gaga, bitch.
[Elevator bell dings]
♪
Yo, put that shit out.
It's the baby.
He's lonely.
Someone should go in there.
Jeff, you do it.
[Door beeps, unlocks]
♪
[Hubert grunts]
Oh, my God, Hubert.
They're coming for us.
They're coming for us all.
♪
[Coos lightly]
♪