Flatbush Misdemeanors (2021) s01e07 Episode Script

1
Major gallery owners
- who would love your work.
- Yeah?
'Cause I have no idea how to connect
with people who can help me.
That's where I come in, my man.
I'm the connector.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
We just haven't really talked
since the other night.
[JESS] Yeah, but listen, Dan,
let's just keep it professional.
Terry came through, man.
- It's happening.
- Yo, that's great.
Yeah, I still don't have a spot though.
[DAN] You know what? There's
this multipurpose room at school.
Are you sure it's all right?
You're using it for a purpose.
That's literally what
the multipurpose room is for.
[ADMINISTRATOR] School is on lockdown.
Code white.
[STUDENTS CHATTER]
[OVERLAPPING CHATTER]
[ADMINISTRATOR] Code white, code white.
Lockdown protocol in effect.
We are locked down!
Remain in your classrooms.
Okay, guys, let's remain
calm and quiet.
You know what to do.
They don't care if we quiet!
That boy not gonna change his mind
and not shoot up the school
'cause it's quiet.
First of all, it's not a shooter.
It is probably a boy, though,
but you're all gonna be fine.
You did not say that confidently.
[DAMI] Do they know who it is or no?
Girl, now you know
they don't tell him nothing.
I'm like, can we go home? Because
- Sis, how you, like
- This one's giving.
But how are you gonna get home
when someone
- trying to shoot us?
- [CHUCKLES]
Mr. Joseph, so if it's not
a shooter, what is it then?
I I don't know.
- See?
- He don't know.
I told you they don't tell him nothing.
[LAUGHS] I'll say.
Now, I hope it's a bomb
because if this bitch blow
we don't got school for a whole month!
- Oh!
- Hey!
Stop. Stop cheering. Settle.
You guys have to respect
my job as your teacher.
Why are they cheering?
Kids cope with crisis
in their own ways.
And-and put your phones away.
[STUDENT] Oh, hell yeah.
[SANTOS] Barreto.
The kid's still locked himself
in the utility closet.
Still insisting he has a bomb.
I don't know what to do.
Please come by.
[STUDENT] Oh!
[STUDENTS MURMUR]
Okay. That was a lucky guess.
It's all still gonna be fine.
[LAUGHTER, CHATTER]
A shooter. [IMITATES MACHINE GUN]
[QUIETLY] What's Principal Douglas say?
Douglas isn't even here.
He's at a meeting at the district,
so I'm in charge of the kids' safety,
- and we're not safe right now.
- Okay.
Let's keep speaking quietly
because I'm pretending
that we are safe. So what's the plan?
Well, I called the police,
but they're still on their way.
The security guard's standing watch
at the utility closet door
having a panic attack,
so-so I gotta go do the rounds
and make sure
each room is secured. I'm just
It's just a lot doing three people's
- fucking job right now.
- Well, how can I help?
Just stay locked down.
Do not leave your students
under any circumstances, okay?
I'm gonna go do the rounds.
Wait, wait, I'm sorry.
Wait, just to be clear,
you're about to check
every room in the school,
like, right now?
Yeah. Why?
[ADMINISTRATOR] Code white, code white,
please remain in lockdown protocol.
Are you sure we shouldn't leave?
[CHUCKLES] Nah, it's just a drill.
That's why they call it a code white.
It's like "a white lie,"
so don't worry about it.
Uh-huh, okay.
Oh, my God.
[PHONE CHIMING]
[BAYANO]
My buyers are generally looking
for something that feels
current yet nostalgic.
What sort of buyers are we discussing?
Eh, it ranges.
We got smaller clients
that are usually looking
for a single piece,
and my bigger clients
are usually looking
to curate a collection.
We've also built up the careers
of some pretty well-known artists.
We've got Martine Gutierrez,
Amy Sherald.
- Wow.
- And, uh,
Cynthia Nixon.
I'm sorry. Who?
The redhead from Sex and the City.
Oh, okay. You talking about Miranda?
All right. Gotcha.
Yeah.
Well, let's dig in.
Terry's got some good things
to say about your work.
[PHONE BUZZING]
Sorry, I have to take this. One minute.
Yo, what's up?
[DAN] You gotta leave right now.
Bro, Bayano just got here.
What are you talking about?
Kev, this is a real lockdown.
Former student says he has a bomb.
You have to leave.
No, I'm good.
[DAN] It's not good.
I propped the door open for you,
so it's my fault this kid snuck in,
plus Jess is on her way
to your room right now.
If she sees you, it'll be traced
back to me, and I'm fucked.
[TUTS] Man, I thought y'all were cool.
[DAN] It's weird right now.
Just sneak out the back
with your art guy.
You can finish the meeting
at, like, a Golden Krust?
I don't know, there's, like,
three in walking distance.
[KEVIN] Fine, I'll dip,
but just chill on the texts, man.
[DAN] Exactly. Now you know how I feel.
Too many texts.
[BAYANO] Who was that?
[KEVIN] Just a friend from the Met.
You know, they wanted to invite me
to an event next week. Yeah, sorry.
[JESS] Hello? Anyone in there?
[DOORKNOB RATTLING]
Hello? All clear on this floor.
The youth, man, delinquents.
Half of them don't got parents,
so it's like
What you think of this piece here?
Do you like it?
You said it reminded you of something?
[STUDENTS CHATTER]
[DAMI] Hey, Mr. Joseph,
why don't they just evacuate us?
Because it's too risky
when we don't know
exactly what's going on.
We have to shelter in place.
- That's the protocol.
- That's stupid.
- The protocol makes no sense.
- It never does.
It's like fire drills.
They make us slowly walk and stand
right outside a burning building.
It never makes sense.
That's an important lesson in life.
Things don't make sense,
but you just go along with it.
Write that down.
Bro, my mom's psychic or some shit.
[DAN] I need to do a head count.
She blowing my jack like crazy.
I don't even know what to text her.
[CHUCKLES] Say you dead.
[LAUGHS] I'm dead.
Did you text Drew?
Nah, I'm not trying to scare him.
He busy working.
- That nigga always working.
- [CHUCKLES]
- That's how he got you the 12?
- Nah, my father bought it.
How your dad buy you a phone from jail?
Bitch, he in jail, not broke.
One thing my family do is get a bag.
- Dang.
- [LAUGHTER]
[DAN] Yo, no laughing.
You guys should be nervous,
and I should be the calm one.
It should not be the reverse.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[WHITE MARCUS] have built a bomb.
It's outside the school
and I will detonate it
unless Dami dates me again.
Dami, we went on one date,
and it was perfect.
He's saying y'all used to date.
- Well, it wasn't a date
- Ew!
- Never! What?
- He's sayin' it.
Let me find out you like white boys.
Don't play with me.
You see, your mama be texting you
about the wrong thing, AKA moi.
- I wish I would.
- [WHITE MARCUS CONTINUING]
- Yeah.
- [LAUGHTER]
Okay, I'm taking your phone.
But Dami ex White Marcus,
he in the utility closet
- talking crazy on live.
- Bro, chill.
Who's White Marcus?
She talking about
Marcus Bufkin from our class.
Oh, the white kid named Marcus, sure.
You call the other Marcus
"Black Marcus"?
No, he's Marcus.
- That's not racist?
- Keep up.
How is he this lost?
Yo, but didn't he get expelled?
How he get inside?
So they just letting anybody
in the school?
- He's white.
- No offense, man.
[ZAYNA LAUGHS]
Marcus Bufkin claims he has a bomb?
Yo, Mr. J, you buy me lunch,
I'll bust his mouth open.
[ZAYNA AND DAMI LAUGHING]
All right, everyone
Everyone stay calm.
I have to go do something.
You're all gonna have to wait here.
Uh, Dami, you're in charge
while I'm gone.
Everybody listen to Dami. Great kid.
Okay?
If everyone behaves, sit tight,
you all get As.
- All right, hang in there.
- [DAMI CLEARS HER THROAT]
Yeah, let's listen up or Miss Dami
gonna give all y'all detention.
- [STUDENT] Hey, girl.
- Hi.
- There it is right there.
- Yeah.
[SANTOS, KNOCKING]
Open up this door, Marcus.
This isn't funny.
You gotta come out of there.
That's enough, Marcus.
Police are on their way.
Please open the door.
[WHITE MARCUS] Nah, motherfucker.
You're too late.
I already programmed the bomb
to go off in 30 minutes,
so that's what's going down
unless you actually start
fucking listening to me, bitch.
[SANTOS] Come on, man, please.
- Hey. Officer Santos.
- He's a lunatic, Dan.
- He's got me all stressed out.
- I know.
I think I can help
with this Marcus situation.
- It's White Marcus.
- White Marcus, yeah.
Everyone knows his nickname, I guess.
Look, if you just give me
a chance to talk to this kid
[JESS] Dan, I told you to stay
in your classroom.
- Why are you
- [DAN] Jess, Jess.
I think I can help.
No, look, we just need
to wait for the police.
Apparently, they're all held up
raiding a funeral of
Hasidic Jews in Williamsburg.
- Yeah, that'll be a while.
- Yeah.
Officer Santos,
I-I finished the rounds.
I'm just gonna go check in
with the cops now.
Wait, wait, wait. Can I do it?
I just can't stand here anymore.
These white kids
scare the fuck out of me.
I mean the Black kids,
I can handle them,
but these lonely white boys,
you don't know what they're gonna do.
And I want to keep my limbs intact.
Okay, yeah.
Well, thanks for trying
for a few minutes.
Yeah, why don't you stay in my office
and check in with the cops then.
Okay, thanks, and good luck.
Dan, come on, you really need to
Jess, Jess, there is no way
that he made a bomb.
First of all, he failed chemistry,
and I know that because I'm the one
who failed to teach him
chemistry for two years
since he got held back.
This kid does not have
a bomb-making skill set.
Okay, well, he claims he has a bomb.
He could have bought the thing.
Please, go back to your classroom.
Just let me talk to the kid.
I know him really well.
I was his teacher for two years.
I think he looks up to me.
Fine. I don't know, fine, try.
Okay.
Marcus?
It's me, Mr. Joseph.
[WHITE MARCUS] Who?
Uh, I was your science teacher
up until a week ago
for two years.
We learned a lot of
chemistry but also bonded.
[WHITE MARCUS]
It's not ringing any bells.
Marcus, it's Ms. Barreto.
- You expelled me, bitch.
- Yo, hey, now,
- there's no need to curse.
- Marcus. No, no.
- It's a school.
- It's okay.
Marcus, I sat with you
for two hours while you cried.
I didn't cry.
[JESS] I wanted to find a solution.
I-I really tried.
[WHITE MARCUS] Suck my dick.
Yo, Marcus, come on.
[EXPLOSION]
[DAN] Fuck.
Okay.
If only he's dead,
I think that's a win.
[EASY-LISTENING MUSIC]
In this piece, I created it a white man
with African-American features.
Wanted to pontificate the dichotomy
that white America has with the society
that both fascinates
and frightens them.
It was also the perfect medium
to capture the subjects, uh,
"Chura-scaro,"  so
Chiaroscuro.
I've heard it both ways.
Look, Kevin, your work is good.
Thank you.
You clearly have the technical skill.
I like what you're trying to do,
but I do think it best if you
kept developing your style.
What do you mean?
Well
[CHUCKLES] Your work is derivative.
- Thank you.
- No, it's okay.
It's it's not bad.
It's just not ready.
Okay. I'm sorry.
If it's not bad,
then how am I not ready?
I just can't tell who you are.
It's all over the place.
Nothing is congruous.
Look, these two pieces
look like they're done
by a different person,
and the one on the left is much weaker.
Build a more cohesive portfolio.
Get your work up in some café
or put it up in the NFT marketplace.
Now, if you figure out
your you and the why,
put that into the art.
Well, that would be worth
more than getting any painting
thrown up in some gallery
where people can walk past your work
and then wanna take a picture
next to the fire extinguisher
thinking that that's art too.
You understand me?
It's always easy to get seen early,
but you can never be seen too late.
Look, bro, I hear you, but I just
I need money now.
[LAUGHS]
Well, man, I got some
other business in the city.
It was, uh, nice to meet you, Kevin.
You got my email
if you need anything else.
Wait, hold on. The drill.
I'll be fine.
It's not a drill. There's a real bomb.
Nigga, what?
See me for a minute ♪
Sitting in the back, ♪
can't breathe for a minute ♪
She gonna be, she can't ♪
breathe for a minute ♪
VVs on the tenants ♪
Forgiatos, and me spinning one ♪
On the Ben-y, come carry the boo ♪
[ZAYNA] Yeah, that's the one. Post it.
Bro, I can't.
My moms, like, be following me
from fake pages and shit.
[LAUGHS] You post it.
Drew don't care what you do.
- He care about some shit.
- Like what?
[ZEKE CONTINUES RAPPING]
He care if I leave the lights on.
He care if I don't take
the meat out the freezer
so it can thaw.
And he care if I get an "A" in science.
Bro, that list should be,
like, way longer than that.
What are y'all doing?
Y'all need to relax for real.
Shorty, you're talking like you
ain't fuck a whole terrorist.
- [LAUGHTER]
- Oh!
[STUDENTS CHATTER]
That's funny?
A little. [CHUCKLES]
Marcus, uh, we know
that was just a firecracker.
We're watching
the security footage right now.
[QUIETLY] You have
security tapes in the closet?
[MOUTHING "NO"]
[WHITE MARCUS]
Just let me talk to Dami.
Yeah, Marcus, you're not coming out
of this with, like, a date.
This whole approach you took
was just, like, a really big swing
that was not the move.
Look, Marcus, I know
you didn't build a bomb.
It requires a basic understanding
of math and science.
Motherfucker, I got YouTube!
That's how kids learn shit now.
Marcus, we're here to listen.
No one is actually listening to me,
you fucking boomer!
[QUIETLY] I'm-I'm not that old.
Do I seem that old?
[WHITE MARCUS] I have
no friends, so fuck 'em.
I'll blow it all up.
[SANTOS] Barreto, we located
the alleged package outside.
[DAN] Marcus, look, I get it.
High school is a nightmare.
I had a rough time too.
Oh, my God, I fucking hate you.
[DAN] No, no, no, no.
You're about to relate to me.
Look, when I was in high school,
I had one friend, Kevin.
We hung out every day
until he had to move away.
I remember the week before he moved,
some kid stole both my shoes.
I had to walk around all day
in just my socks,
and you know what my friend did?
He gave me one of his shoes
so we'd both look weird.
I stepped on a thumbtack,
and he didn't,
but it was nice to know
we both could've.
Kev never cared what
anybody else thought about him.
You know? He was always himself.
White Marcus, we waste all this energy
trying to avoid judgment
from people who don't matter.
None of them matter long term.
Even after my friend moved away,
I was still okay 'cause
he had showed me not to be
so in my own head, you know?
And you'll find people
like that, White Marcus.
It won't be Dami. Give up on that.
She's never gonna date you.
You played this wrong.
But there'll be others.
Think I went on a little long there.
[JESS] I think it helped though.
[SNORING]
[STUDENTS CHATTER]
Bro, why was you laughing
when Zeke said that shit?
'Cause that shit was funny. [CHUCKLES]
No, it wasn't.
You draggin' it, relax.
What they said about me
and Will was way worse,
and I ain't feel no way.
You and Drew,
that went to Will's house.
You felt a way. Stop it.
Okay, that was Drew.
I never asked him to do that.
[DAMI] You didn't stop him either.
You sit here laughing at me,
but if it wasn't for Drew,
these niggas would be
laughing right at you too.
- So don't do that.
- Mm, no.
Drew made it worse.
I handle my shit myself.
Zay, you stay blaming Drew
for everything, bro.
But when your back is against the wall,
that's the only reason that you
be gettin' away with anything.
That nigga do too much for you.
Well, thank God he let me
get away with some shit.
Yo, your parents won't even
let me hang out with you, bro.
That's my moms, bro.
She told me if she catch me
hanging out with you again,
she's sending my ass to Nigeria.
And I'm not trying
to end up like Donovan.
[STUDENT] Ooh, she love you, D.
[STUDENT]
Your shirt's banging, Donovan!
That's fucked up.
[TUTS] Yeah, Drew might
be extra and all,
but, like, your whole family unit
is out of pocket, so Drew not that bad.
"Drew not that bad." [CHUCKLES]
Okay.
What that mean?
Nothing. I just heard some shit.
Okay, I heard shit
about your people you too.
Okay. Like what?
I heard that your father
got caught stealing bread
from his own congregation.
Word, mm, well
- I heard
- [ZAYNA GIGGLES]
Drew is the reason
that your father is in jail.
Bro, what? What you talking about?
Bro, you didn't know that shit?
Your father got booked
for something that Drew did.
I heard my parents talking about it.
I thought you knew.
[OFFICER] Come on, move that barricade!
[DISPATCHER]
73 Baker, we have a code six
on 105 North Vandeveer Street.
[OFFICER] Clear the perimeter!
[OFFICER] Give me a hand
with that. Area clear!
[OFFICER] Five feet away from the door!
Let's go, move it!
[OFFICER] Everybody back, everybody!
[OFFICER] What's the ETA
on the bomb squad?
[OFFICER] Make way, coming through!
[OFFICER] Bomb squad coming in!
[OFFICER]
Come on, get back, tough guys.
- Come on!
- [OFFICER] Get clear!
[OFFICER] Need eyes up over the exits.
[BAYANO] See, see, see,
this is what happens
when I don't respect my own boundaries.
Why'd you even take this meeting?
[BAYANO] Because Terry's father
funds my gallery,
so, at the end of the day,
I'm doing what I have to do to get by.
But Terry told me you were
looking for Black artists.
- Is that not true?
- No, it's true.
[PHONE RINGING]
Okay, and Terry loves my work, so
[BAYANO] Man, listen,
Terry, can't tell the difference
between a Budweiser ad
and the Last Supper.
The guy's an idiot, okay?
He thinks that every Black person
that draws is Basquiat.
Now I'm trapped here
in a room because of him.
So the people that love my shit
don't know shit about art, and you do?
Bro, you don't even know me,
and you're telling me
who my voice is or isn't.
You know what?
Wait, what what are you doing?
Bruh, if you're not feeling me,
somebody else will.
Not finna listen to a nigga
that don't even wear socks.
I can't believe I dressed up
for this shit, bro.
Fucking bullshit.
Don't open What about the lockdown?
I don't work here, nigga.
[OFFICER] Go, move in.
Move in. Let's go.
- [OFFICER] Eyes on the target.
- [OFFICER] Watch it.
- You go back.
- Boss, the bomb's spotted.
[OFFICER, OVER RADIO]
Take your positions
[RATTLING]
- [OFFICER] Hold it, Southwest.
- [OFFICER] Eyes up, eyes up.
[OFFICER] Technician on the move.
[OFFICER] Technician moving in.
[OFFICER] Possible movement.
[OFFICER] Sir, stay away
from the package!
[OFFICER] Yo, be careful, it's a bomb!
- Move!
- [OVERLAPPING SHOUTING]
It's a bomb!
[OFFICER] Okay, false. Pull us back.
- It's not the bomb.
- [OFFICER] We're good, clear.
- Copy that.
- [OFFICER] 10-4.
Bomb has been neutralized.
- We're ready to go.
- [OFFICER] 10-4!
Pointless.
[OFFICER] Yeah, it's all clear.
Our squad detonated it.
- We were very careful.
- It's a waste of time.
- Come on, sir, should we go?
- Yeah, let's go.
[SIGHS]
[SANTOS] Apparently, there was no bomb.
This ass hat
just wasted everybody's time.
I knew it was nothing.
- Yeah, you were very brave.
- [BANGS ON DOOR]
[SANTOS] Marcus, get out here!
We know you made the whole thing up.
You're full of shit.
Hey, maybe don't go so hard on him.
What?
It's just White Marcus and I sort of
came to an understanding
through this moving story
I told him.
Officer, take it.
I don't I don't think
we really need to
Stand back!
- Have empathy!
- Oh, my
Freeze! Don't move, White Marcus.
He's sleeping. Wake him up.
Oh, I do remember you now.
Yeah, your class was boring as fuck.
My class was not boring.
You were just asleep all the time.
Did it ever occur to you the reason
I slept in your science class
was 'cause I was
ahead of your shit.
Your dumbass class is remedial.
I go at a pace that works for everyone.
[UNDER BREATH] Bitch.
Oh, my God. You are such a fuck.
You were a fuck all two years
- I taught you.
- Dan
And I knew you didn't have a bomb.
- Okay, stop.
- You know what? I would love
- to see you try to make a bomb.
- Dan, come on.
- [DAN] Just to watch you fail.
- [JESS] Dan, stop.
I dare you to blow up
the school. You know what?
I don't even know why Dami dated you,
but I can see why she dumped you.
- You fucking loser.
- [JESS] Okay, all right, Dan,
how about you just come over here.
- Take him away, officer.
- Come on.
He is my least favorite Marcus
of all the Marcuses.
Just take a deep breath.
Bro, I bet nothing is even
about to happen to White Marcus.
Like most cops probably just
going to take his ass
to Burger King or some shit.
[LAUGHS]
Yeah.
Bro, I'm sorry. I thought you knew.
Like, my dad was there
in the church when your mom was
going through it, bro.
It's whatever.
I-I legit thought you knew.
I don't
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[JESS] Thanks for not
leaving me alone today.
It was all my fault.
I expelled White Marcus.
It's not your fault.
Always blame the parents.
I would have kept giving him chances,
but, like, Principal Douglas
was breathing down my neck
about White Marcus and all
this bullshit about procedure,
and I I should've
listened to my gut.
The kid is a fucking idiot.
He deserved to be expelled.
You're just saying that
'cause he was mean to you.
Yeah, fine.
Imagine if he did have a bomb,
if I had helped
Jess, it's not your fault. It's mine.
I'm the one who left the back
door propped open this morning,
which is how White Marcus
snuck back in.
Dan, the kid didn't
sneak through a crack door.
He walked through the entrance.
He's white.
[LAUGHS] Oh, man.
For real?
Oh, fuck. That's great.
Oh, that's really good news.
Oh, my God.
I was feeling guilty
for a second, Jess.
[LAUGHS] What a beautiful day.
[SIGHS]
[LAUGHS] That was close.
I swear to God, I almost felt bad.
Whew, thank Christ.
It's not your fault either, by the way.
Yeah.
Thanks again, Dan.
W-would you wanna
maybe get dinner later?
Was that your answer, the spitting?
Uh, no.
No, it's a  "no,"  or?
No, no. I'd get dinner.
Oh, okay. Cool.
Okay. Cool.
- [OFFICER] Here you go.
- You know
getting arrested isn't even that bad.
Yeah.
Hey, you guys want in on this?
[Sleigh Bells' "Crown on the Ground"]
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
Ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah-ah-ah ♪
Ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah-ah-ah ♪
Hey! ♪
You never doubted it ♪
You're so proud of it ♪
You straight shouted it ♪
There's no doubt of it ♪
You couldn't care less ♪
You love goodness ♪
You think it's endless, ♪
endless, endless ♪
You think you started this ♪
It doesn't bother us ♪
No clue about it ♪
No, you never knew about it ♪