Foreign Exchange (2004) s01e07 Episode Script

1
( upbeat music)
(beach music)
(flying helicopter)
- You promised we'd get back in time.
Now, I've missed that science test.
- Hey, I would have
been able to get us home
if you hadn't had been
complaining the whole trip.
- Oh, your tracker instincts.
What a pro.
- There's nothing wrong
with that map, Hannah.
- No, except for two
hours you were leading us
into a chocolate smudge.
- Listen, I just spent half a day
showing you around.
- Most of which was spent watching some
stupid cricket match.
- And it was a good game.
(girl screams)
- (screams)
- What's wrong, Meredith?
- (screams) Oh!
Three words you don't want to hear
anywhere near a restaurant,
"We've got roaches!"
- They carry bacteria and protozoa
in their legs.
gastroenteritis, dysentery,
Ew, I'm out of here.
(woman screams)
- Oh, and I've got to get going if I
don't want to get in trouble.
Ew.
- [Hannah] Miss Murphy will kill me
for missing that test.
- [Brett] You'll be fine.
So, I'll see you soon then?
- Yeah, not too soon.
- Oh, what's your problem?
- You're my problem.
Whenever you're around I seem to do
nothing but land in hot water.
- And that's my fault?
- I don't know who's fault it is,
but maybe you should just stay away
for a while.
- No.
No, I can't.
I've got to bring my board through later
for Cormac to fit the fins.
- Fins.
You know, forget it.
Okay, I don't want to know.
- [Brett] Hannah.
(upbeat music)
(Hannah running upstairs)
- I know there's an elaborate excuse
percolating in that mind of yours.
- Not at all, Miss Murphy, Um.
I missed the science test through
my own stupidity and
I accept full responsibility.
- You do?
- Absolutely.
And I plan to make up for it.
- Good.
How?
- Ah,
Well,
I'm still working that out.
- Perhaps I can help you, then?
- Really?
- You know that your science practical
is coming up?
- Yes. (nervous laugh)
- It would be in your interest to come
up with a really impressive project.
- How impressive?
- Impressive enough to make me forget
about you missing your test.
- That impressive.
- It's time to put that brain of yours
to use, Hannah.
I look forward to seeing
what you come up with.
(chair creaks)
(sighs)
- That's all.
(dramatic music)
- I can't think of anything to do
for the science practical.
I need some inspiration.
- I'd help you out, but I'm kind of busy.
- Busy with something
that looks scientific?
- It's a lie detector.
- [Hannah] Are you serious?
It's perfect.
It'll knock Miss Murphy's socks clean off!
We can work on it together.
- I don't want to seem ungrateful,
but I don't actually need your help.
- Of course you do.
- And what exactly is your contribution
going to be?
- Well, um,
You need a gimmick.
See, a lie detector's boring.
But say, a talking lie detector.
- Talking
- It would be a world first.
- Hey, that's not a bad idea.
I would need a computer voice module.
- I happen to have just the thing.
(optimistic music)
- Meredith, don't you
think you're overreacting?
- I'm not leaving this room until
all the roaches are gone.
No way.
- Okay, well, just give me a shout
if you need anything.
- Okay.
(people collide)
- Watch where you're going, will you?
- Why is everything around here
always my fault?
- Because you're a loser!
- All right, you two, listen.
I need your help to get rid of
these roaches.
- Nope. Sorry, Jackie, can't help.
There's a guy in town selling his
entire collection of model biplanes.
Can't miss this one.
- [Jackie] Brett?
- Sure, but can I do it later?
- [Jackie] How much later?
- Just a few minutes, all right?
- Okay, but don't forget
this is important.
- All right, mom, I won't forget.
(upbeat music)
- [Electronic Voice] Checkmate.
Congratulations, your
skill is astonishing.
- Great.
That's a terrific voice.
- Yeah, I thought you'd like it.
Just have to work on getting the
voice module out though.
- While I go get some gear for Silvia
from the science lab.
- Who's Silvia?
- Oh, the Synthetic Intelligent Lie
Verification Interface Appliance.
Silvia, for short.
- Oh, good job I found
a girl's voice, then.
(upbeat music)
- Come on!
Just come apart, will you?
- [Electronic Voice] What is the problem?
I'm so sorry, darling.
- Darling?
What are you doing here?
- What are you doing here?
- Didn't we agree to stay away
from each other?
- Hey, I'm not hassling you.
I'm looking for Cormac.
He reckons he's got a super new idea
for a wing fin system.
- Well, it's gonna have to wait.
Cormac and I are building a lie detector.
But don't tell anyone.
It was meant to be a secret.
- I'm not gonna tell anyone, but you
better hope it doesn't work.
- And why is that?
- Because we've got a
few secrets of our own
that we wouldn't want people to know
the truth about.
- Don't be silly.
I'm not gonna tell
anyone about the portal.
- Fine, I'll leave you to it.
Uh, tell Cormac I'll be back later.
- Huh.
Well, what do you know?
- We need something on which to display
the swimming trophy.
- Whoa!
Sorry, Miss Murphy.
- Brett, what on earth have you got there?
- This?
- Yes, that!
- I found this in the um, in the stables.
I thought it might be useful.
- That is the very thing,
A surfing plank.
- Surfboard, actually.
- And perfect for what we were
talking about, Miss Murphy.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Perfect for what?
- Don't you worry your head about that.
- But that belongs to
someone.
- Oh, if it was in the stable
it would have been there for ages.
No one's gonna claim it.
- Great.
- Meredith, we've just
had a few cockroaches
not a plague of rats.
You can come out now.
(knocks on door)
- Brett.
(portal whoosh)
- [Jackie] Brett, hello?
I know you're in there.
(knocks on door)
Why is everyone locking
themselves up today?
(suspenseful music)
(portal closing)
- Sorry, mom, I nodded off.
- You promised you'd help me.
- Yeah.
Yeah, I will, honest.
- Well, it's too late now.
I've had to do it all myself.
- I'm sorry, mom.
- Oh.
(sighs)
(monitor beeping)
- We're ready for our first test.
- Is all this stuff um,
necessary?
- The headband, moisture sensitive.
This measures blood pressure.
Silvia will detect an increase in either.
Plus, when she's finished, she'll
detect fluctuations in
your vocal patterns, too.
- Well, you've thought
of everything, Cormac.
- Let's get started.
What is your name?
- Hannah O'Flaherty
- [Electronic Voice] That is the truth.
- Where are you right now?
- O'Keeffe School
- [Electronic Voice] That is the truth.
- When did you last
leave the school grounds?
- Last weekend.
- [Electronic Voice] That is a lie.
- No, it's not!
I went into town with you, remember?
- Oh.
Well, it's not perfect.
Let's try a question
with a negative answer.
Have you been outside the
school in the last two days?
- No.
- [Electronic Voice] That is a lie.
- This isn't working.
Maybe I'm too sweaty or something.
- No, it's got to be more than that.
I'll recheck the wiring.
(upbeat music)
- Mom.
Mom, I've got good news and bad news.
- Hit me with the bad.
- The bad news is the
cockroaches are still around.
- Oh, no!
- But I know where they're coming from.
- Wayne's room?
Oh!
I've told him before about leaving
food scraps around.
Wayne!
Wayne!
(Meredith screams)
- I didn't do it!
It's not my fault!
Huh?
- What is that lizard doing in here?
- He belongs to Narita.
- [Brett] Who?
- Narita, It's a girl from school.
I'm looking after him while she's away.
His name's Morrison.
- And you've been leaving
the lid off his food jar?
- It might have just come off.
- Yeah, right.
It unscrewed itself and
then rolled across the floor
all on it's own.
- Yeah, probably.
- Look, it doesn't matter how it happened.
The point is we have
to fumigate the place.
- And what am I supposed to do?
- You and Morrison will
just have to bunk down
with Brett for a while.
- No.
No, mom. No way.
That's not
- Brett!
(upbeat music)
- [Electronic Voice] Checkmate.
Game over.
- Wow!
Silvia, you are the best
opponent I've ever had.
- [Electronic Voice] Thank you, Cormac.
I should be.
You built me.
- Well. (laughs)
I've certainly got you
rigged to tell the truth.
- [Electronic Voice] You
have one of the finest
minds of your generation.
- You have really responded
to that artificial
intelligence program I gave you.
I wonder what would happen if I gave you
a further boost.
- This is the pits,
having to share with you.
- Yeah?
Well, it's not my idea
of a good time either.
- No sudden movements and no yelling.
Me and Morrison need our rest.
- Just watch your feet.
And no snoring.
(upbeat music)
(phone dialing)
- Hello, O'Keefe's?
- [Brett] Hi, is Hannah O'Flaherty there?
- Hannah?
Yeah, one moment.
I'll get her for you now.
- Thank you.
- Hello, this is Hannah.
- Hannah, we've got a problem.
Wayne's got this lizard and
- A lizard.
Brett, I am busy here.
- No, no, no, no.
The cockroaches.
Mom's gonna bomb his room.
- Look, um, I'll come through
after the science practical.
We can talk then.
- No, Hannah, don't use the portal!
Hannah!
(upbeat music)
- Look, I still think I
should operate the detector
and you be the subject.
- No, this is perfect.
Now, what age are you, Cormac?
- I am fourteen.
- [Electronic Voice] The
subject is telling the truth.
- Huh? I souped up her
vocabulary last night.
What do you reckon?
- Sounds good.
Now, are you very intelligent?
- Sure, well
Well, I suppose.
- [Electronic Voice] The
subject is telling the truth.
- See?
It's working brilliantly.
Are you a genius?
- What?
What kind of question is that?
I don't know.
- [Electronic Voice] The subject is lying.
- Okay, I'll rephrase the question.
Do you think you're a genius?
- Just ask something else.
- Just answer the question.
- No, I don't think I'm a genius.
- [Electronic Voice] The subject is lying.
- Look, stop it, Hannah.
I thought we were mates.
- [Electronic Voice]
Mates, mate, checkmate into
- See what you've done?
You've confused her.
- [Electronic Voice]
pawn to queen's knight 3
- Can't you fix it?
(Computer names random chess moves)
- Hannah, I was told
I could find you here.
I believe you're working on
your project with Cormac?
- That's right.
- And it'll all be ready for
the practical this morning?
- Oh, absolutely.
No problems.
- Good.
I look forward to seeing
something impressive.
- Yes, Miss.
(sighs)
I should have just done
something with frogs.
- Who is it?
- I don't know.
- Hello, Wayne speaking.
- [Male Voice In Phone]
Is this Wayne Payne,
the model plane collector?
- Might be.
Who wants to know?
- This is Seamus McCracken.
- Who?
- Seamus McCracken. I heard you were into
model planes, and I'm giving some away.
So, are you interested?
- Depends. How much?
- Nothing, I'm giving them away for free.
- Well, look, I might be able to take them
off your hands.
Where abouts are you?
- I'm 45, um
Henry Street.
- I'm a busy man, Seamus.
I can't just drop
everything and rush around.
Give me ten minutes.
- Okay, I'll see you then, all right?
- Yes!
(upbeat music)
(tool buzzing)
- We've only got twenty minutes.
Think you can fix it?
- Look, it's fine.
Really, everything's fine.
- [Electronic Voice] Everything's fine.
- See?
- [Electronic Voice] What a waste of time.
- What did she just say?
- Nothing.
Nothing, look.
It's gonna be okay, I promise.
- Hey, what are you doing?
That's my bike.
- Out of my way, loser.
I've got business to do.
- Sounds important.
- Way out of your league, junior.
- Have fun.
(upbeat music)
(group playing cricket)
(power drill)
- Not bad.
Even though I do say so
me-self, and shouldn't.
- What have you done?
- Ha, told you you'd be amazed.
- Did you have to split it like that?
- First class, isn't it?
- Used to be.
- What?
- I've got to go, Seamus.
- Don't forget we're doing
the back hedges today.
See you there in half an hour.
(sighs)
- We're running out of time.
Is it fixed?
- I added an artificial
intelligence module
to Silvia, and I,
I thought it would make
her more perceptive.
But, um
- But, what?
- Well, I was working on
her chess game with her,
and now while the lie
detector software is running
the artificial intelligence
keeps trying to override it.
- What does all that mean?
- Basically, Silvia
regards everything else
as an interruption to playing chess.
Look, look, look.
- [Electronic Voice] Do you mind?
I'm planning my next move.
- Cormac, this is gonna work, isn't it?
- As long as things stay simple,
she'll stay in lie detector mode.
But if she gets confused,
I'm not sure what'll happen.
- Then we better make sure
she doesn't get confused.
(upbeat music)
- (sighs) That's the best I can do.
- (sighs) Let's just hope it's enough.
- Hannah, I need to speak to you.
- Not now.
- Did you get that email that I sent you?
- Can't you see I'm busy?
- It's Wayne.
He's moved into my room with a lizard.
So, the portal's out of bounds.
- Fine.
I'll call before I use it.
- It's worse than that.
I'm supposed to be trimming hedges
with Shamus in twenty minutes,
and Wayne could be back
in my room at any moment.
- We'll deal with it later.
Right now, I've got bigger problems.
- Everything ready, Hannah?
- Oh! Um, Yes, Miss Murphy.
We built a lie detector.
Cormac's all wired up, and
the machine is ready to go.
- That is impressive.
- Glad you think so.
- And it would be even more impressive if
you tried the lie detector
out on someone else.
- Someone else?
- Well, it's hardly
objective science, is it?
I mean, for all I know,
Cormac could have rehearsed
the answers to fit in with the machine.
- No way, Miss Murphy.
- Oh, nevertheless, an independent person
is what's called for.
Someone who the machine
knows nothing about.
Someone like
Brett!
(door knocks)
- Hello, dear.
- Yeah, hi.
Is Seamus in?
- Who?
- Seamus?
- What's a shame, dear?
- I'm here for the planes.
- Planes?
- Yeah, the ones for sale.
- Have you tried the airport?
- This thing doesn't really work, does it?
- Look, don't worry.
I've told Cormac to ask
very simple questions.
I've written them down for him.
So as long as you don't panic,
we'll be fine.
(sighs)
Okay.
Today, we're going to demonstrate Silvia,
the Synthetic Intelligent Lie
Verification Interface Appliance.
- You ready, Brett?
- What is your name?
- Brett Miller.
- [Electronic Voice] The
subject is telling the truth.
(audience giggles in amusement)
- And you work part
time here at O'Keefe's?
- [Brett] Yes, I do.
- [Electronic Voice] The
subject is telling the truth.
- What age are you, Brett?
- I'm fifteen.
- [Electronic Voice] The
subject is telling the truth.
- Cormac, ask Brett something
a little more complex.
- Oh, but, um
- Oh, no, no, no.
Brett, did The Big Bang really happen?
- Perhaps a little less complex than that.
Something like, why did
Hannah miss her science test?
- [Student Audience] Oh! (giggling)
- No idea.
- [Electronic Voice] The subject is lying.
- Let's try again.
Was Hannah with you during the test?
- [Student Audience] Oh! (giggling)
- No! I don't know where she was.
- [Electronic Voice] The subject is lying.
- No, I'm not.
- [Electronic Voice] The subject is lying.
- I think it's about time we were hearing
some truth, Brett.
- Okay.
Here's the truth.
We were lost in Australia.
- [Electronic Voice] The
subject is telling the truth.
(crowd giggles)
- It was sort of my fault.
I was using a map drawn onto a napkin,
and we were heading towards
a smudge of chocolate.
- [Electronic Voice] The
subject is telling the truth.
- Has it stopped working, Cormac?
- I don't understand.
I thought I fixed it.
- [Electronic Voice] I want to play chess.
- Not now.
- [Electronic Voice] You're just chicken.
- Look, we can play chess later.
- [Electronic Voice] I want
to play chess now, Cormac.
- Great.
Guess I've had it, then.
- [Electronic Voice] The
subject is telling the truth.
- Sorry, Miss Murphy.
- Pity.
It was just getting interesting.
- [Student In Audience] Oh, dear.
- I guess this means that's a fail.
- Well,
you've both obviously
put in a lot of work.
And it was quite innovative.
Under the circumstances, Hannah,
I'll excuse you from missing the test.
- Thank you, Miss Murphy.
- But don't push your luck anymore.
- Oh, I won't.
I promise.
- [Electronic Voice]
Can we play chess now?
- Shh!
- [Electronic Voice] I want to play chess.
- Wait.
You were brilliant.
- Just had to tell the truth, that's all.
But I've got to get back
before Wayne gets back home.
What am I gonna tell Seamus?
- Oh, there you are, lad.
Let's get a move on.
Those hedges won't trim themselves.
- Go on.
Leave Wayne to me.
- Honestly, Meredith, it's safe.
Not a roach in sight.
- Are you sure?
- Really.
Come and look.
- Thanks, Jackie.
You're my hero.
- Nice to know someone
appreciates the effort.
Where are the models, Wayne?
- Some moron's idea of a practical joke.
If I ever find out
Hey, what are you doing with that lizard?
- Probably saving it's life.
- What?
- Lizards need sunlight and fresh air.
Otherwise, they get sick.
Any fool knows that.
- I knew that.
- It looks like I got to it just in time,
but if I was you I wouldn't
take my eyes off it.
(hypnotizing music)
- And he believed you?
- Well, he knew he wouldn't be too popular
with Narita if he let her lizard die.
- You are brilliant.
- (in a robot tone) Subject
is telling the truth.
(upbeat music)
(phone dialing)
- [Electronic Voice] Hi, you
have dialed O'Keefe's College.
If you wish to speak with
a student, please enter
their student number and then press hash.
(phone dialing)
(over loud speaker)
Call for Cormac Kelley.
Would Cormac Kelley
please come to the phone?
- (sighs) See ya, Silvia.
- (over loud speaker) See ya, Cormac.
(upbeat music)