Freeridge (2023) s01e07 Episode Script

1
[curious music playing]
Ah.
- Yeah, okay, okay, okay, okay.
- [phone beeps]
[phone chimes]
Ooh, that was fast.
[engine rumbles]
[Gloria] Oh, you gotta be kidding me.
[grunts] All right.
Ah shit!
Follow that Bentley.
Mm. Ooh.
Mm. Mm. Mm.
[sighs]
[phone ringing]
Hello?
[man] I have information
on the missing woman.
The woman you're looking for
is renting out a room in my house.
Tonio?
Who is this?
And why do you know someone named Tonio?
It's your niece!
- Ines?
- Gloria!
Why don't you have my number
in your phone?
And did you say Mariluna
is renting a room in our house?
Only during school hours.
But before I answer any more questions,
let's discuss the reward.
[groans]
Oh! Okay, now follow that Bentley.
[upbeat music plays]
[car door lock beeps]
[door opens]
What do you want?
What do I want? What do you want?
Why are you crashing my parties
and creeping around my house?
- You know about the creeping?
- Yes.
And before either of us
ask any more questions,
why don't you get
that tacky, fake-ass sword out of my face
and offer me a glass of water?
I am thirsty AF.
Okay.
Come in.
I'm not saying I'm against dolphin
training because they do like to learn,
but if I were the one training the
dolphins, it'd be more of a partnership.
I'd leave the ocean gates open.
They could come and go as they please.
Cam, are you listening?
How did Andre get a new boyfriend so fast
when just days ago, he was lambasting me?
And Cheetos?
He's allergic to powdered cheeses!
- I'm glad Andre found someone.
- But so fast?
No, not possible. They must have been
a thing before we broke up.
He is a hypocrite.
Or he wasn't cheating,
and it's just karmic coincidence.
That's when something bad happens,
i.e. our cheating,
to a good person, i.e. Andre.
So the universe rewards said good person
with something good, i.e. Benji.
Uh, TBD on that. Benji looks dirty.
Not in the good way.
Wait. This karmic coincidence
You just make that up?
No, I I would tell you to look it up,
but you can't because not all star witches
like to write things down.
[Andre] Benji, let me get that for you.
[coughing]
That is the cutest gag reflex
I've ever seen.
[groans]
Don't hate Benji. Be thankful for him.
Now we don't have to fondle each other
under that dark cloud of retribution.
- I have to go to the bathroom.
- Don't!
I have to. I need proof of the hypocrisy!
- To do what?
- To feel vindicated.
Andre called me a terrible person.
I need proof that he's a terrible person,
and then we can be together guilt-free.
[sighs]
[scoffs]
I did something. Something bad.
I snagged Gloria's BuJo,
and it's disturbing.
[scoffs] I know. Who schedules out
their bathroom breaks?
That's a UTI waiting to happen.
I told her when you gotta tinkle,
let it sprinkle.
Is that a gravestone?
And why does it say "alive"?
I know what this is.
Your sister got a premonition
and she wouldn't tell me what it was,
but she was highly disturbed by it, and
[sighs] She didn't write it down.
She said she wrote down the premonition,
but, see, this is an interpretation
that frankly isn't very good.
- So she didn't seal the fate.
- Translation, please?
To seal the fate of a premonition,
you have to write it down
or take a picture No!
[boy] Ow!
Why did you do that?
Because shit just got really real.
Damn it, Ines.
Now we need to figure out what
the premonition is and how to unseal it.
Let's go. I'm calling Gloria.
She's gotta tell us what Cinnamon said.
Oh!
- Why isn't Gloria picking up?
- To annoy you. That's what she does to me.
Let's just go to my house and ask her.
We will, but I think
Cinnamon's our next step.
How are we gonna contact her?
All we have is TikTok,
and she doesn't respond to any of her DMs.
- I know a Cinnamon.
- Mind your business, Davina!
- Cinnamon!
- [Cinnamon] Yo, what's up?
Karmic coincidence.
[flies buzzing]
Interesting style.
It's very Great Expectations. [chuckles]
Miss Havisham?
Hmm, don't know her.
[sighs]
It's potpourri to mask the scent.
I'm not sure anything is being masked.
- Who's turning 50?
- My husband was, but he's dead.
[flies buzzing]
Did you kill him?
No, my husband died
from the faulty brakes in my car.
- He died the day of the party.
- Which trapped you in time.
It is just this one room. Do not judge me.
I won't judge,
but I do have more questions.
- Why have you been renting out my room?
- For the box.
I tried trailing you and your friends,
but you were all so squirrelly,
and I'm tired
What's with the box? Why do you need it?
And why have you cursed it and now us?
What's your best color?
Hm?
This is so random.
No, it's not. Brows are my side hustle.
Or more like my second main hustle.
I don't like to rank my callings,
but I do like to rank my premonitions,
and I remember liking the ones
that revealed themselves to you.
Yeah, about that. Can we get more clarity
on them 'cause they're coming true?
They are?
Oh my God, I did it.
Wait, I really did it? I predicted shit?
Hot twat!
Truth is, I'm only intermediate
in my skills,
so, uh, this is really encouraging.
- Which premo did you want more clarity on?
- The one you gave my sister.
- In private.
- [Cinnamon] In private?
Oh! When I was coming out of the bathroom?
Yeah. Real proud of that bad boy.
It hit me hard.
What did?
That someone's gonna die.
[both] Who's gonna die?
I don't know. I can't see who it is.
I just get bits of info
like an abbreviated text.
If you need more help, see an expert.
- [scoffs]
- All right, Davina, let's whack that bush!
In my room, please.
I don't wax where I eat.
Right.
[sighs]
We need another witch.
Preferably one who's not on the Internet
and has a real cauldron.
Yeah, you're right.
I mean, not all witches are made alike.
- Some witches are brilliant
- Some witches be bonkers.
Hey, look who has basic witch knowledge.
- Yeah.
- [phone ringing]
- [phone beeps]
- Hey.
I know we're supposed to meet up
after school, but I can't make it.
- [Demi] Me neither.
- Great. Okay, bye.
- Cam, you okay?
- [Cam] Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
I've just had enough people time
for the day. Yeah.
[dial tone]
- [Andre] You was lying. No! [chuckles]
- [Benji] That's what I'm saying.
Oh!
[indistinct chatter]
- [Benji] Exactly.
- [Andre] It's true!
[Benji chuckles] I do.
[Andre] Yeah, okay.
So you and the dead lady were twins?
Identical and inseparable.
We used to pretend to be each other,
which made for an extra special surprise
when I discovered her friend Isabel
was not just a friend.
Oh.
You see, when I was younger,
I was even more stunning.
I had perky breasts and an ass you could
bounce [in Spanish] money off of!
- [in English] And the box?
- Tight. It could launch a thousand ships.
Because of the curse?
Different box.
I'm talking about my vagina.
- Got it. You were hot.
- Very.
Wealthy men were always
trying to marry me.
I never fell for them until
I met an American man named Henry Fo
Henry Ford?
man. Fordman.
How old do you think I am?
A hundred?
He was perfect,
except for this teeny, tiny quirk he had
where he insisted I disown
my working-class family and heritage.
What?
That's effed up!
It was, but he had a yacht
and a giant wang.
Eventually, you saw past that,
and you killed him?
No! No!
On his 50th, the car he was driving caught
on fire, which was really bad timing
because I was taking
all those pyro classes.
It is a little bit of an eyesore.
And a huge health code violation.
Maybe it is time to tidy up.
On it. Keep talking.
Anyway, all I wanted was my family.
I missed Marisol.
I knew she was in Freeridge,
and I had invited her to Henry's party,
but that beautiful bitch never showed.
And the box?
Oh, right, the box.
[robotic voice] Bon appétit.
I gave the box to my sister
when I left with Henry.
So the fact that she kept it
means she didn't
completely write me off and
That's all I've got. The end. Finale.
[Gloria] So the box is cursed
because you never got to see your sister
after you gave it to her!
Oh, that's a really good theory! But no.
The curse was our inside joke.
Telling people things were cursed
just made us laugh!
I love pranks and games!
[laughs]
Humor is subjective.
So the box isn't cursed.
Of course not.
Oh shit. My phone's dead.
Do you need a ride home now?
Nah. No one's looking for me.
[Demi] Gloria still isn't picking up!
[Ines] God. What if I am
the one who's gonna die?
Everything about me says
"resting victim face."
I can see that.
This is your fault! Why did you hug me?
Because the universe told me to.
Well, then ask the freaking universe
if this is it.
Is it me?
Am I the one who's gonna get creamed?
I'm sorry, girl. I don't really know.
You need help from a stronger source,
a full-time witch
who doesn't have a side hustle.
Where am I gonna find
this pedigreed mystic?
[phone chimes, unlocks]
Mm. Be right back. Joker isn't ready yet,
and he wants me to come inside.
[door opens, closes]
[both] Karmic coincidence!
[sighs] It's gonna be a little longer.
Joker's getting a cosmic cleanse,
which removes his emotional walls
and turns him super clingy.
So I gotta get back there
and hold his hand.
- [sighs]
- Oh.
Look.
Worry Away.
Hey, are you the one that wants to know
your unborn baby's past life?
You're pregnant?
What? No. We're just looking for a friend.
[sighs] No, you're worried.
Sorry, we couldn't help ourselves.
It's really nice. What's in it?
Goat.
- Which part?
- All of it.
[goat bleats]
Oh.
[gasps]
You're here to see me!
Back room, now!
- [in Spanish] Quick! [in English] Come on!
- Yes.
[Ines] Am I gonna die?
'Cause her sister got a premonition
that someone was gonna die.
I am sensing an impending death,
but it is not either of you.
- Are you sure?
- I am a post-mortem bruja.
I help the living cope with the dead,
the dead transition from the living,
and all that comes in between.
Like a medium?
No, not like a medium.
This is more specialized and intense.
I mean, no offense to my medium friends,
but what I do involves skill.
Oh.
[screams]
What the hell?
Those were not there when I sat down!
Stay calm. They smell the goat.
What are they?
Dead.
When I was working toward
a major in ceramic arts,
I started minoring
in post-modern mysticism,
and I realized that
I could merge the two crafts
and soul bind with these little vessels.
They help the spirits transition
and the loved ones left behind.
Oh, you see that bowl over there?
That is my tío, Emilio.
He died before I mastered the wheel.
At the time, I thought it might be nice
to mourn a loved one by eating on them.
Oh.
Is that you?
- [mystic] Mm-hmm.
- [gasps]
- Are you dead?
- [mystic laughs]
Only on the inside.
Breakups can feel like a death,
so I made that for Chivo, my ex,
when we broke up.
- Was it recent?
- Oh, no!
No, it was years ago.
That is the replacement
for the replacement,
which he will inevitably break
since he broke the original.
He was a little handsy. [laughs]
[sighs] God, I miss that.
[sighs]
[Ines] Why'd you break up?
Well, because sometimes you can
love someone and not be good for them.
Uh, we're getting off-topic.
Let's talk curse.
- Are we cursed?
- Yes.
- From the box?
- No and yes.
Which is it?
Curses come in two ways.
The ones that are put upon you,
and the ones you put upon yourself.
See, the box was not cursed,
but your belief in it made it real,
but now you don't believe, so it's not.
Make sense?
So we're not cursed?
No.
[both] We're not cursed! [cheering]
Hey, are you done? 'Cause I'm not.
Oh.
Now, in the process of undoing this curse,
you might have brought upon another one.
Might have?
Only time will tell.
Well, then we just won't believe in it.
Boom, done.
- Huh.
- [laughs]
[both scream]
[laughs]
Oh, he likes you. Take a chip.
I don't want one.
Take the chip, or he will be offended.
- [Mariluna] Are you sure you have to go?
- [Gloria] Mm-hmm.
We can play some games. I have chess.
Backgammon? Checkers?
- Connect Four?
- Sorry.
I have that too!
[scoffs]
It's just
It was really nice having some company.
I've been so lonely for so long.
[scoffs]
I miss my sister.
I wish I'd seen her before she died.
I wish I'd gotten to know her family.
- You know they're still alive, right?
- [Mariluna] I know, but it would be weird.
I would have to explain why
I have never come around all these years
and all that stuff with Henry.
- It seems like a lot.
- It doesn't have to be.
You're right. My pride is my curse.
Me too.
I seemingly had everything
but really had nothing.
And my sister seemingly had nothing
but had everything.
Huh.
It's too late.
It's not.
You can change your life if you want to.
All this time, I believed in dark forces
that are just my imagination,
and I allowed it to happen,
because even worse than a fake curse
is my reality that my dad is truly sick.
[sighs]
Saying that out loud hurts.
I am so sorry, Glo.
Why do bad things happen to good people?
[scoffs]
I ask myself that all the time.
[chuckles]
[sighs]
- [door closes]
- Poker! When I bring the box, we'll play.
I'll see you soon, okay?
[engine starts]
- Let's go! Get in the car!
- I'm going to Mexico now?
No, school! Hurry! You're not expelled.
Lucia got you back in!
The school never checked Tonio's ID
to confirm he was your dad.
They committed all kinds of negligence,
so I threatened to sue.
It's after 4:00. School's over!
But the bent arm hang trials
are about to begin. Dale! Oh, nice dress.
[Gloria] Oh, thanks.
Whoo!
That cleanse gets me every time.
I'm still spinning.
Lay on the couch, baby. Close your eyes.
I'm just so glad I'm not gonna die.
Yeah, it's probably just
Sorry. It's probably no one.
Or my dad,
unless we make some real money real fast
to get those experimental treatments.
- Have you ever heard of RollerWorld?
- RollerWorld's a myth.
No, it's not.
A kid named Jamal found all that money
in our neighborhood
with his friends
and his buddy's grandma, Marisol.
- Our Marisol?
- Yeah.
They found the money, and she buried it.
They haven't found it yet,
but she left a map.
Maybe if we find Marisol's map,
we can find the money.
Or maybe we should start small
and rob a bank instead.
Hey! What What a surprise!
Is it?
I know you've been following me,
because I've been following you.
- Why didn't you turn off Find My Friends?
- Why didn't you?
Look. I know what you're doing.
You're obsessing about me and my new man,
and you're regretting your decision.
Now I'm the one that got away,
and you're wondering why.
I'll tell you why.
Because I know you, Cameron.
To you, the hunt is better than the kill.
Mic drop.
Uh, wrong. Wrong.
You don't know me, because I'm
actually happy that you're happy.
You deserve it.
Okay, look, what I'm struggling with
isn't you. It's me.
I don't wanna be not liked. The fact you
don't like me means something.
I hate that you don't like me.
I hate that I hurt you,
and I basically now hate myself too.
How is this my problem?
This feels like a trauma dump,
and I have no room for it.
- What do you want from me?
- I just wanna be your friend.
Then start acting like it.
What started as
the Presidential Physical Fitness Test
has become
a Freeridge High annual competition!
And every year, our best and brightest
try to hang on for as long as they can,
a metaphor for getting through
the tough times in life.
The current record, 8 minutes 20 seconds,
hasn't been broken in almost 30 years!
But today, we have six solid candidates
to best our best time!
Whoo!
[cheering]
Wait!
[cheering and applause stops]
Damn, Gloria's here?
I'm out.
Whoo!
Let's do this, Coach.
[cheering and applause]
Are you looking at me? ♪
- Come on, Gloria!
- Are you looking at me? ♪
Are you looking at me? ♪
Are you looking at me? ♪
- Saw you looking at my army now ♪
- [Rusty] Don't arch your back.
- Hold. Hold.
- [grunts]
[all chanting] Hold! Hold! Hold!
Hold! Hold!
Hold! Hold!
Hold! Hold!
Throw me right into my finger ♪
You got me moving
Right to the beat, beat ♪
[grunts]
[crowd chanting] Hold! Hold!
She's doing it! She's doing it!
[chanting] Hold! Hold!
She's done it! Record's broken!
- And she's still holding on!
- [grunts]
[cheering and applause]
Are you looking at me? ♪
[indistinct chatter]
We'll wait for you in the car.
- I can take her home.
- [dad] I'll take
Me home. You two have fun.
[whispers] Thank you.
How did you know I was gonna be here?
Tonio. I didn't wanna miss it.
Rusty, I'm sorry.
I let my pride get the best of me
and didn't tell you the truth.
I actually think
we could've been good to
Wait, what about the other girl?
- Who?
- Ines said
That there was another girl?
She lied
to both of us.
There is no other girl, Gloria.
Just you.
[magical music plays]
Hey! I heard.
I can't believe you broke the record
and got back in school!
Oh, and Dad said you and Rusty made up.
I'm so happy
[Gloria yells] Stop!
Why? I'm so happy for you.
Are you?
Because Rusty told me.
Why? Why did you lie to us?
I
- I don't know why.
- [Gloria] Well, I do.
It's because you're
a jealous, selfish little baby!
I'm not a baby!
Really? Okay.
Well, here's food for thought
that I'm not gonna sugarcoat!
Ines, your actions have consequences,
and you just burned down
the only bridge you had left!
Demi and I found out there's no curse.
So the box isn't cursed,
and neither are we!
I already know that,
but here's something you don't know.
That TikTok, which said something to me
that I've been worrying about for weeks
All this time, I've been thinking
that I'm gonna be your downfall
when clearly you are mine!
[slow pop music plays]
[Ines crying]
I see you burning in the fire ♪
The best I've ever seen ♪
You're caught up in your dreams ♪
I know you wanna take it right ♪
Falling like a queen ♪
You're dressed just like a movie ♪
Oh yeah, I waited for the sun ♪
I waited for the sun ♪
I waited for the sunbeam ♪
Oh, but you kept me in the dark ♪
You waited at a park ♪
Borrowing.
Wipe it down when you're done.
- [scoffs]
- [indistinct chatter on TV]
[gasps]
[whispering indistinctly]
[indistinct chatter on TV]
You didn't hire Rusty
just to be your assistant, did you?
You're paying him
to be Gloria's boyfriend.
Don't tell Gloria.
[upbeat electronic music plays]