Friends s01e07 Episode Script

Everybody! Central Perk is proud to present the music of Miss Phoebe Buffay.
Thanks.
I wanna start with a song that's about that moment when you suddenly realize what life is really all about.
Okay, here we go.
Okay.
Thank you very much.
Oh, great.
This is just The One With The Blackout This is so cool, you guys.
The entire city's blacked out.
It's all of Manhattan.
They have no idea when it's back on.
-You guys, this is big.
-Pants and a sweater.
Why, Mom? Who will I meet in a blackout? Power-company guys? Eligible looters? -Can we talk about this later? Okay.
-Can I borrow the phone? I wanna call my apartment and check on my grandma.
What's my number? I never call me.
Oh, my God! It's her.
It's that Victoria 's Secret model.
Something Goodacre.
Hi, Mom, it's Jill.
She 's right.
It's Jill.
Jill Goodacre.
Oh, my God! I am trapped in an A TM vestibule with Jill Goodacre.
Is it a vestibule? Maybe it's an atrium.
Yeah, that is the part to focus on, you idiot.
I' m fine.
I' m just stuck at the bank in an ATM vestibule.
Jill says vestibule, I'm going with vestibule.
I' m fine.
No, l' m not alone.
I don't know, some guy.
Oh, some guy.
I am some guy.
Jill, I saw you with some guy last night.
Yes, he was some guy.
Hey, everyone.
Officiating at tonight's blackout is Rabbi T ribbiani.
Chandler's old roommate was Jewish.
These are our only candles.
So happy Hanukkah! Look! Ugly Naked Guy lit a bunch of candles.
That had to hurt! All right, all right! It's been 14 1/2 minutes and you still haven 't said one word.
God! Do something! Just make contact.
Smile! There you go.
You 're definitely scaring her.
Hello? Oh, hi, Mom.
Mom.
Mom, you' re tripping! Dexter's a dog.
The blackout's scaring him.
You'd pee in Dad's shoes too if you didn't know.
All right, call me back.
-Mothers.
-Yeah.
Attaboy! A word.
That wasn 't so hard.
Mothers.
Yeah! Mothers.
Yeah! Perfect.
Don 't smile.
Would you like to call somebody? Yeah, about 300 guys I went to high school with.
Yeah, thanks.
-Hello? -It's me.
-It's Chandler.
Are you okay? -Yeah, l' m fine.
I' m stuck in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre.
-What? -l' m stuck in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre.
I have no idea what you said.
Put Joey on the phone.
-What's up, man? -l' m stuck in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre! Oh, my God! He's trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre! Chandler, listen.
Like that thought never entered my mind.
-Okay.
-Somebody.
-I'll go.
I'll go.
-Okay.
Senior year of college, on a pool table.
-Pool table? -That's my sister.
Okay, my weirdest place would have to be the women's room of the New York City Public Library.
Oh, my God! What were you doing in a library? -Pheebs, what about you? -Oh, Milwaukee.
It's a really weird place.
Ross? Disneyland, 1 989.
" It's a small world after all.
" No way.
The ride broke down so Carol and I went behind those mechanical Dutch children.
We were asked never to return to the Magic Kingdom.
Let's see, that leaves.
-Rachel? -Come on, I already went.
-You did not go.
-I did.
T ell us.
Come on.
All right, the weirdest place would have to be the foot of the bed.
-Step back! -We have a winner! This must be what the fridge looks like with the door closed.
Spooky.
Anybody hungry? We got a Klondikesoup.
I've never had a relationship with that kind of passion.
Where you have to have somebody even in a theme park.
It was the only thing to do that didn't have a line.
Barry wouldn't even kiss me on a miniature golf course.
-Come on.
-No.
He said we held up the people behind us.
You didn't marry him because? Do you think there are people that go through life never having that kind of? -Probably.
-Really? I'll tell you something.
Passion is way overrated.
-Yeah, right.
-lt is.
Eventually, it kind of burns out.
But hopefully what you're left with is trust and security and.
In my ex-wife's case, lesbianism.
For those people who miss out on that passion thing there's other stuff.
-Okay.
-But I don't think that'll be you.
-You don't? -See, I see - big passion in your future.
-Really? -You do? -I do.
Ross, you' re so great.
It's never gonna happen.
-What? -You and Rachel.
What? Me and Ra? Why not? You waited too long to make your move and now you' re in the "friend zone.
" -l' m not in the zone.
-No, Ross.
You' re mayor of the zone.
Look, l' m taking my time, all right? I' m laying the groundwork.
Every day I get a little bit closer to Priesthood! I'm telling you, she has no idea what you're thinking.
She just ran her fingers through my hair.
-Were you missing that interaction? -No, no, no.
This is running fingers through your hair, okay? Now this is a tousle.
If you don't ask her out soon, you'll be in the zone forever.
I will, I will.
I'm waiting for the right moment.
What? -What, now? -Yeah.
What's messing you up? The wine? The moonlight? You gotta go up to her and say, " Look, Rachel, l" -What? -We' re shushing because we' re trying to hear something.
-What? What? -Don't you hear that? See? -Would you like gum? -ls it sugarless? -Sorry, it's not.
-Then no, thanks.
What was that? Mental note: If Jill Goodacre offers you gum, you take it.
If she offers you mangled animal carcass, you take it! New York City has no power And the milk is getting sour But to me it is not scary Because I stay away from dairy -Here goes.
-You'll do it? -I'll do it.
-Want help? You come out, you' re a dead man.
-Good luck, man.
-Thanks.
-Okay.
-Okay.
Where you going? You can't go out there.
-Why not? -Because of the reason.
-That would be? -I can't tell you.
Joey, what's going on? You gotta promise you'll never tell Ross that I told you.
-What? -He's planning your birthday party.
-Oh, my God! I love him! -You better act surprised.
-About what? -My surprise party.
-What surprise party? -Oh, stop it.
Joey already told me.
He didn't tell me.
Don't look at me.
This is Ross' thing.
This is typical.
I'm always the last to know.
You are not.
We tell you stuff.
I was the last one to know when Chandler got bit by the peacock.
I was the last to know you had a crush on Joey.
What? Looks like I was second to last.
You had a crush on me? All right.
It wasn't a crush, it was a dent.
Big dent? You were moving your furniture.
I thought you had nice arms.
Nice arms, huh? Hey, Mon, l' m moving the chair.
Do anything for you? With all the lights out you can actually see the stars.
It's so nice.
I have a question.
Actually, it's not so much a question.
It's more of a general wondering.
ment.
-Okay.
-Okay.
Here it goes.
Well, for a while now, I've been wanting to.
-Yes, that's right.
-Look at that little kitty! What? Top of the world Looking down on creation And the only explanation I can find Is the love that I found Ever since you 've been around All right, this is just Bactine.
It won't hurt.
-Ow! -Sorry, that was wax.
Poor little T ooty's scared.
We should find his owner.
Why not put poor T ooty in the hall? During a blackout? She'll get trampled.
Yeah? Damage control.
Get back to the gum.
Gum would be perfection.
Gum would be perfection? Gum would be perfection.
Could've said, "Gum would be nice.
" But, no.
For me, gum is perfection.
I loathe myself! Oh, no, they' re nuns.
They hate all living things.
Hi.
We just found this cat, and we' re looking for the owner.
Yeah, it's mine.
-He seems to hate you.
Are you sure? -It's my cat.
Give me my cat.
-Wait a minute.
What's his name? -Bob Buttons.
-Bob Buttons? -Bob Buttons.
Here, Bob Buttons.
You are a very bad man! You owe me a cat.
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Here, kitty, kitty.
Where did you go, little kitty? IKitty, kitty, kitty.
Come here, kitty, kitty.
-Hi.
-Buona sera.
Wow! Mon, wanna go for a ride in my racecar? I'll bring my arms.
We can bring my wheelbarrow for your teeth! Come on, lucky sixes! Everybody, this is Paolo.
Paolo, I want you to meet my friends.
This is Monica -Hi.
-and Joey -Hi.
-and Ross.
Hi.
He doesn't speak much English.
Monopoly! Look at that! So, where did Paolo come from? Italy, I think.
No, I mean tonight.
Suddenly, into our lives.
That cat turned out to be Paolo's cat.
Isn't that funny? That is funny.
And Rachel keeps touching him.
I looked all over and couldn't find the kitty anywhere.
I found him.
It was Paolo's cat.
Well, there you go.
Last to know again.
And I'm guessing, this is Paolo? Paolo, this is Phoebe.
You betcha! All right.
Okay.
What next? Blow a bubble.
A bubble's good.
It's got a boyish charm.
It's impish.
Here we go.
Nice going, imp! It's okay.
All I need to do is reach over and put it back in my mouth.
Good save! We 're back on track and I'm chewing someone else 's gum.
This is not my gum! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! And now you 're choking.
You all right? My God! You' re choking! -Better? -Yes.
Thank you.
That was.
-That was.
-Perfection? That was no tousle.
-What'd he say that was so funny? -I have absolutely no idea.
That's classic.
My God, you guys! What am I doing? This is so un-me! If you want, I'll do it.
I just wanna bite his bottom lip.
But I won't.
The first time he smiled at me those seconds were more exciting than weeks with Barry.
Did you rent mopeds? Because I've heard Oh, it's not about that right now.
I know it's superficial, and we have nothing in common and we don't even speak the same language, but, God! -Paolo, hi.
-Ross.
Listen.
Listen, something you should know.
Rachel and I are.
We' re kind of a thing.
-Thing? -Thing.
Yes, thing.
-You have the sex? -No.
No, technically the sex is not being had.
But that's.
But that's not the point.
The point is that Rachel and I should be.
Well, Rachel and l should be together.
And if you get in the -ln bed -No.
No, not where I was going.
If you get in the way of us becoming a thing then I would be, well, very sad.
So, do you? -So you do know a little English? -Little.
-Do you know the word "crap-weasel "? -No.
That's funny.
You are a huge crap-weasel.
We've been doing this for an hour.
It's easy.
Ready? Okay? Now try it.
You gotta whip it.
Look, look.
The last candle's about to burn out.
T en, nine, eight, seven minus 46, minus 47, minus 48.
-Thank you.
-Thanks.
IKind of spooky without any lights.
Okay, guys, I have the definitive one.
This probably isn't the best time to bring it up but you have to throw a party for Monica.
-This has been fun.
-Yes.
Thanks for letting me use your phone and for saving my life.
Well, goodbye, Chandler.
I had a great blackout.
See you.
Hi, l' m account number 71 43457.
I don't know if you got that but I would really like a copy of the tape.