Harvey Beaks (2015) s01e07 Episode Script

1 Harvey Harvey Harvey - You touch it.
- I'm not gonna touch it.
Who knows how many germs are on that thing? - A whole lot of germs.
- So is it dead or what? It's a tail.
I can tell because this end smells like butt.
- Ew.
- Kiss it.
Kiss it.
Kiss it.
- Get that thing away from me.
- Let me see that.
Cool.
It still works.
Ha! - You okay, dude? - I think my legs are broken.
Wait, no, they're just dirty.
Who knew having a tail would be this cool? It's like the best thing that's ever happened to my butt.
Oh, this? It's my new bangs.
Thanks for noticing.
See how they sway in the wind.
It's funny, 'cause it's like your hair, but it's not really your hair.
Foo, go find some more stuff for us to knock down.
Okey-dokey.
I'm strong.
Wait, I'm supposed to find stuff to knock over.
Nope, too rocky.
Too tree-y.
Wait, I already tried this.
Whoa.
Just spin the tail really fast like a propeller.
Got it.
Did it work? Heck yeah.
It totally slowed your fall.
Looks like a nut.
There's something inside.
Yeah, nut guts.
Whoa.
It's a tiny note.
I wonder who - Well, don't read it.
- Why not? 'Cause you always use that weird voice when you read stuff.
I do not use a weird voice.
Okay, fine.
I'll just read to myself then.
Oh, my gosh! You won't believe what it says! What? We have your brother.
Give us back Right there.
You're doing the weird voice.
You're missing the point.
It says the tail belongs to the squirrels.
And if they don't get it back, they're gonna do something bad to Foo.
What? I gotta I gotta find him! I'm coming for ya, Foo.
Fee, wait.
We just gotta give 'em back the tail.
I'm not giving them my tail.
They have no right to take it from me just like they had no right to take my brother! They both belong to me! They made me go blind with rage.
You stupid tree rats! When I get my Uh What the Harvey! - Some stupid moron tied me up.
- Hey, I tied you up.
Since you're a little too emotionally charged, why don't I go talk to the squirrels and defuse this whole thing? You can't talk to those nut crunchers.
The only thing they understand is me beating their heads in.
No, we can do this without violence.
I'm pretty sure I'm a really good negotiator.
Just stay put, okay.
Here's a bottle of water so you won't get dehydrated.
Uh I'll be back soon, okay? Harvey, get back here and untie me! Hang on, Foo.
Nothing's going to stop me from saving you.
Whoa.
So hello everyone.
My name is Harvey Beaks and I'm here to negotiate a deal that will help all of us.
Hey, Harvey, the squirrels are having a party, except there's no music and they just tie you up.
I'm just waiting for the pizza to arrive.
- I told you, there's no pizza.
- Cool.
First, let's go around the room and introduce ourselves.
Like I said.
My name's Harvey.
I like ice cream, especially mint chocolate chip.
And I like sunsets and I like my mom and dad.
They're really great.
Okay, who's next? I'm Foo.
I'm tied up.
I am Jean-Luc.
This is Jean-Claude, Sean-Jean.
Billi-Jean.
Long-Jean.
And our leader Papa-Jean, who you are currently sitting on.
Oh, my gosh! I'm so sorry! I thought he was a beanbag.
Enough chitty-chats! Did you bring the tail? No, but I think that Oh.
Then we are done with the negotiating.
Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa Who's dumb idea was this scavenger hunt? Crafts, you find any good leaves? Who can tell? They all look the same.
Uh, this hurts my brain.
Crafts, are you okay? I think a tree just threw up all over me.
Wait a minute.
That's Fee.
Don't leave her on me! She might eat me.
Okay, hang on.
Oy.
Oy.
Hey, I don't have this leaf yet.
Whoa.
When did Fee get a tail? Mine! Let go of her! Let go! Ow.
- Ugh.
- Why'd you try to eat Krafts? Wait, who is that? - Dade.
- Oh, tattle-pants.
- I don't I'm not - You kinda are.
Dude, I really need your help.
- Those jerk squirrels took my brother.
- What? They took Foo? Is he okay? Does he love me? What did Foo do to them? Something jerky I bet.
And what's wrong with your eyes? I don't have time for your questions, bunny.
We should help her.
You guys.
She's bad news.
And I got a policy against bad news.
- It's a nut with a note.
- Whoa.
A nut note.
- It says they captured Harvey.
- They got Harvey? - I gotta go tell my mom.
- No! No tattling.
But they got Harvey.
What do we do? We do what Harvey wanted to do.
We negotiate.
But we do it my way.
What is taking so long? Where is the girl? Hey! Hey! I said, hey! - Is this clock real? Oops.
- What? Why would you do that? Go back to your corner.
Uh, excuse me.
I need to use the restroom.
Oh, no.
Can you not hold it? I have a tiny bladder.
My mom says it's genetic.
Sean-Jean, show him to the toilet.
And you, do not touch that.
Oops.
Oh, oh no.
How how am I even supposed to Uh all right.
This isn't gonna be pretty.
Now you stay there and don't move again.
All right, you buzz brains, I'm here to talk.
I came alone and unarmed.
No tricks or games whatsoever.
Bless you.
Listen up barf cakes.
I found this tail.
And that makes it mine.
But you guys are thieves.
You stole my brother and my friend.
So I'm giving you one chance to live.
Give us back the tail and we are through.
Never.
Well, the joke's on you.
I'm not alone.
Surprise, idiots! Oh! It's a trick! I totally did not see that coming.
Everyone attack! She's out of control.
- Take that.
- Uh.
Oh, the pain.
Wait.
It's skunk.
Guys, I'm so sorry.
Does anyone have a lot of paper towels? Whoa! - What's going on? Ow.
- Harvey! Everything's gonna be okay buddy.
- Uh, Dade - I got Harvey.
And I have Foo.
Ugh.
Come on people.
Let's get out of here! - That was crazy.
- Man, we showed those fools good.
Now they know if you mess with the horned animal, you get the horns.
Uh, yes, but what we want is the tail.
- Ow! - That's right.
As long as you have the tail you will never be safe.
We will always be there right behind you, throwing nuts and being annoying.
Sorry little tail.
We had some good times you and me.
And you really made my butt feel complete.
But we can't be together no more because I have a couple of folks that are pretty much a billion times more important to me.
- It's really mature of you, dude.
- Shut up.
I know.
Come get your stupid tail already.
I don't want it anymore.
Ha.
I'm glad one of you is smart.
Seriously, your friend and brother are both such incredible dumb-dumbs.
- I am glad to be rid of those pests.
- You know what? - I changed my mind.
- No! Ugh! Oh, no! Damned! That's what you get talking smack about my family.
Come on, dudes.
Let's go home.
I think you look better without it anyway.
Yeah, I know you're lying.
But thanks.
20 leaves! We can do this.
I liked it better with the squirrels.
Movie? Check.
Hot chocolate? - Check.
- Marshmallows? Check.
Hey, you want some hot pepper sauce for your hot chocolate? Oh, Mom! Harvey, come on, honey.
Let's get this show on the road already.
I burned the popcorn.
Hold on.
Almost done.
Okay.
Hot chocolate? Check.
Popcorn? Check.
Burned? Check.
Oh, I almost forgot! I can't watch a movie without Dad's old college hoodie.
Hoodie, hoodie, hoodie.
Embroidery, flannel, golf shirt, hoodie? Huh? Irving, you don't have to eat that.
Mom, Dad, have you seen Dad's hoodie? Sorry, honey, I haven't touched that thing.
What?! Movie night is ruined! And there's only one explanation.
Why did Harvey call us all out here? Is it his birthday? Uh, I don't know.
Is it? - Happy birthday, Harvey.
- Happy birthday! - Eh, I guess not.
- Whew.
Thanks for coming out here on such short notice.
It means a lot to me.
Someone stole my dad's hoodie.
I'm here for you, Harvey.
Dade, would you please pass out these flyers? It's the most recent photo I have.
- Uh, uh - Claire, are you okay? Yeah, sorry I'm late.
I lost my glasses.
Usually when this happens, I follow the glare from Princess's tiara.
You're not allowed to look at it! Princess, you're not wearing your tiara.
But what where is it then? I can't find my book or happiness.
Hmm.
This can't all be a coincidence.
Claire's glasses.
Princesses Tiara.
Kraft's thing.
My dad's hoodie? There's only one explanation! There's a thief among us.
- Oh, no.
What do we do? - We'll handle them ourselves.
Everyone take a spear.
Harvey, it's obvious who the culprits are.
- It's the twins! - Oh, come on.
Don't act like it wasn't you.
- Boo! Boo.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold up.
These guys are my best buds.
They'd never do this.
Okay.
First of all, I'm your best bud, Harvey.
And second of all, of course they did it.
- The twins do bad stuff all the time.
- Pfft.
Like what? Like yesterday when you glued my ears to a tree.
Help.
And when Foo ate all of Claire's books last week.
Thanks for hanging out with me, Foo.
- Here.
Eat them all.
- Or how about today when you ruined Perry Perry's sketchbook.
Oh, they didn't ruin it.
They made it beautiful.
See! Okay, first of all, all those pranks are hilarious.
And second of all, you can't just assume it's us because of stuff we've done did before.
That's called being judgey.
Could've been anyone! Could've been Ruder.
He's weird.
Or Princess.
She's weird.
Or Perry Perry.
She's weird.
Wait, I'm weird too.
Could've been me.
Um, guys, I don't think Crafts is guilty.
We need to be rational.
We'll search the neighborhood.
Collect evidence! We'll get to the bottom of this.
Let's got get some cabbages to throw at the thief.
I'll help you look, Harvey.
Really? Don't worry, Crafts, justice will be served.
Guys, these ropes are pulling in a really uncomfortable place.
All right, this area's secure.
You find any clues up there, Foo? Nope.
Hmm.
Well, I guess that means we've been barking up the wrong tree.
Oh, hey, we wearing glasses now? - Wait, Foo, aren't those Claire's glasses? - Nope.
They were Claire's.
- But now they're mine.
- Okay Foo, do you know where my dad's hoodie is? - Here it is.
- Oh, Foo! Whoa.
- You're the thief? - Did I do something bad, Harvey? Yes, Foo, you're stealing from people! No, I'm not.
I just like collecting stuff from my friends.
So when I look at them I remember all the friendship memories.
Aww, it's kind of sweet, dude, and a little weird.
But why didn't you say something before?! - Everyone's way upset! - Oh, is that why they're mad? Huh.
I did not put that together.
It's not funny! We're in big trouble, Foo! Cabbage the thief! Cabbage the thief! Psst! Fee - Fee! - Ah! Sorry, I need to tell you something.
This news I have, it's pretty shocking.
You may want to take a seat.
Crafts wasn't the thief.
It was Foo! Is that it? I already knew that.
- What?! - I am sick and tired of me and my brother always getting blamed for everything.
We have to tell them the truth! And throw my brother to those jackals? They already think Crafts did it.
They're happy as long as they have somebody to blame.
Wait a minute.
That's it! That's how we fix this! Yeah, let them have Crafts.
I just said it.
No, no, no.
They want someone to blame? We'll give 'em exactly what they want.
- We look so dumb.
- Really? I think we look pretty cool.
Okay, here's the plan.
We lure everybody to the cliff.
Then we'll Foo, stop whispering.
- I'm whispering right now.
- Sorry, Harvey.
You guys aren't really good at this.
Muahaha.
Who is that? It is I, the Little Bark Bandit.
Oh, my gosh.
I'm the one who stole your stuff, because I'm the bandit.
And that's what I do.
I bet all of you would love to have your stuff back.
Well, I've got it right here! See? Uh? And now I'm going to run away! Muahaha! Let's get him! Hey, where'd he go? I'm over here, you dinguses.
Ha-ha.
Guys, what are we waiting for? Let's catch that crook! - Foo, what are you still doing here? - Eating bugs.
You're supposed to be running toward the cliff.
Oh, yeah.
- Ah-haha.
- The cliff is the other way! How is he doing this? We're gonna get that bandit good, right, Harvey? Uh, yeah.
Actually I have to go use the bathroom.
Wait a second.
Best friends should always go to the bathroom together.
Uh, ah - Harvey? - Dade, wait.
- I know it looks bad.
But - Shh-shh.
Don't say a word.
We all have our secrets.
And, Harvey, I will take your secret to my grave and beyond.
Cool.
Thanks, dude.
Go! Get out of here.
You beautiful monster.
- What's he doing there? - Look, dummies, it's the bandit! - After him.
- Get him! Wait.
Before you throw me off this cliff, let me ask you one question.
Who is really the criminal here? I guess you.
No, look at yourselves! Look at what you've become ready to tear each other apart for what? Some stuff? Isn't having friends cooler than having their stuff? So am I the Little Bark Bandit? Yes.
Did I take all of your stuff without asking? Yes.
And does this cape make me look really, really cool? Yes.
But you guys, you're the thieves.
And you've stolen friendship.
- No! - Oh, whoa! Whoa! Someone's grabbing me into these bushes! Guys, it's me Harvey! Don't worry.
I got him.
- Uh-oh.
- You'll never get me, Harvey Beaks.
Even though you're such a cool and smart detective.
Whoa! Okay, okay.
I, the Little Bark Bandit, give up.
Well, Little Bark Bandit, looks like the only law you didn't break was the law of gravity.
Hey.
Look at that! He left his bag full of everyone's stolen stuff behind.
Well, that's great.
Guys.
Guys, are my glasses in there? Um, here are your glasses, Claire.
- Foo? - I found them.
I mean, I think I saw the bandit drop them.
Oh, gosh.
Thanks, Foo.
You're my hero.
- Be gentle with me.
- Okay.
Bye, Claire.
I'm sorry I took your hoodie, Harvey.
Don't worry about it, dude.
I'm proud of you.
And you know I'd say it looks pretty good on you.
Well, I say looks good on both of us.
Yeah.
You're right.
Hmm.
I feel like we're forgetting something Eh.
Guys? Guys