High Fidelity (2020) s01e07 Episode Script

1 [FUNKY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING.]
Yeah Whoo! Yahhh [CROWD CHEERING.]
Okay, question: why is there such a stigma around being single? I mean, we're born alone.
We're gonna die alone.
Even when you're with someone, you're alone, right? I mean, this is all pretty basic stuff, philosophically speaking.
I'm just saying, as a single person, it's honestly pretty great.
- Hey, these guys are so cool.
- I know.
We're just friends.
Don't get me wrong, Clyde's, he's great, you know, but, you know, Clyde's like riding a bicycle.
Right? You know? Sure it's good for you.
Sure it's fun, you know, maybe more fun than you thought it would be.
But, you know, bicycles are just, they're they can be, there can be He listens to Phish, okay.
I just, I can't.
- Hey, you want to get another drink? - Yeah.
So you like to cultivate a kind of eclectic musical experience for yourself, huh? I guess so.
I just, you know, like good music, so Is there any music you don't like? Phish.
- Don't do that.
- I'm sorry, man.
You know how much that hurts.
Seventeen-minute guitar solos are not a thing.
It's not even music.
It's more of a state of being.
Hey, you know I'm white, right? - You know that, yeah? - Okay.
I gotta go.
Can I ask, is this because of Phish? Yes.
This is, I'm leaving a hundred percent because of - Will I ever see you again? - No.
- Um no, I, I have to go.
- All right.
- Glad you were in the hood.
- Yeah.
- Glad you hit me up.
- Mm-hmm.
I was over at the climbing gym.
So I figured I'd - Don't laugh.
- Sorry.
- Come on.
- I'm sorry.
Um so cool, yeah, if you're back in the hood, um - Okay.
- Buying Birkenstocks or whatever you want to do, um, hit me again.
Yeah, I will.
Or you could hit me.
- I hit you.
- No, you No, I hit you and then we hang out.
Which is great.
No.
I hit you the other day.
- I was like "What's up?" Yes! - No.
Look, you hit me in reference to a voicemail with which I had hit you with the previous day.
- No, I hit you! - That's not true! - Oh, my God.
- Why does this feel violent? I All right.
All right, I'll look into it.
- Okay.
- I will hit you.
- Bye.
- Bye! [THE BETA BAND'S DRY THE RAIN PLAYING.]
Walked in the corner of the room - What'd you get up to last night? - Um, nothing.
Saw a show with a friend.
Got some drinks.
That's like the opposite of nothing.
[DOORBELL TINKLES.]
- 'Sup, prodigies.
- SHANE: Hey, Rob.
Cool if we borrow some wax today? - Yeah.
Help yourself.
- The fuck? [DRY THE RAIN PLAYING ON SPEAKERS.]
- Who is this? - CHERISE: [MOCKINGLY.]
Who is this? - It's The Beta Band.
- It's tight.
I know.
Hey, look at this.
"Aretha meets Ann Wilson.
" - PEACHY: Is that Cherise? - SHANE: Hey, is this you? - Yeah.
- Would you wanna jam with us sometime? Our singer just got accepted to Sarah Lawrence.
Ye Yeah.
Maybe.
I'll think about it.
PEACHY: Well, stop by the warehouse sometime if you want.
All right, mama, I'll let you know.
Oh, man.
This this takes me way back.
Did I ever tell you about the time - that I met Anthony Kiedis? - Yes.
No, not the Lollapalooza time you're thinking of.
- The second time.
- Yeah, no, you've told me.
When I was supposed to interview him for Stereogum? You know I used to be a music journalist, right? - You've mentioned that.
- Kiedis shows up just wasted.
And, like, two hours late.
But you know what the best part was? He Said he remembered you from Lollapalooza.
Yes! But the reason that he remembered me - SIMON: Because of the hat.
- Yes, my fuckin' fedora.
- Can you believe that shit? - I can.
Hey.
How much for this limited edition Hurley? The answer you seek is hidden behind the number on the price tag.
Keyword: price tag.
MAN: This, this side? Yo, Cam.
Is that The Hammer? - It is, right? - Holy shit! The Hammer? Whoa! Cameron! What's up? Ohh! What are you doing here, man? Man, this is my sister's shop! Is that Rob? Man, it's been forever.
- 'Sup, Hammer.
- Oh-ho-ho.
Mmm.
So what's been going on? Oh, just traveling a ton, you know.
I've been working a B cam on this food show.
We were in Tokyo for a week, then Amsterdam.
Huh? Yeah, he knows.
Flew in from Berlin this morning.
Now we're here for a few days.
You ever go to Berlin? Yeah, yeah, uh, it's been a minute.
Yeah, so what about you, man? How's the whole impending parenthood thing? It's dope.
It's dope.
Everything's dope.
Yo, did you hear Ned Deetch had a kid? No way! How's he doing? Uhh he seems fine on Instagram.
- What, you gonna hit him up? - Nah! He's he's probably got his hands full.
[LAUGHING.]
- Yeah, right.
- Yo, you wanna hit the Allied for a bit? You know what? Yeah.
Fuck yeah.
Let's get drunk.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Roberto? I'd love to.
But, you know, I got kids to feed.
THE HAMMER: Do you, though? Aside from him.
- You guys have fun.
- THE HAMMER: You're killin' me.
I'm literally dead.
- Bye, Cam.
- [ROB CHUCKLES.]
Anything here - I don't think so.
- [DOORBELL TINKLES.]
Yeah, me, neither.
Best record store in Brooklyn.
[THE HAMMER LAUGHS.]
Come on.
CHERISE: So what's hot for tonight, "Roberto"? Um, no plans.
Gonna chill at home, have some "me" time.
Oh! Well, I never! "Me time.
" Top Five Songs About Me Time! Umm Okay.
I Touch Myself by the Divinyls.
It's a little on the nose for you, but I'll allow it.
Uh My Ding-A-Ling, Chuck Berry.
Okay.
ROB: Cyndi Lauper, She Bop.
Uh, Dancing With Myself, Billy Idol.
- And - Uh oh, okay, I got it.
Um, All By Myself by Celine Dion.
First of all, that's originally by Eric Carmen and secondly, it's not a song about masturbation.
Or is it? I mean, I'm pretty sure it's all about how she doesn't want to be all by herself, you know, anymore.
Exactly.
Because she's tired of jacking it.
She needs some of that real good dick! - Violent Femmes, Blister in the Sun.
- [CELL PHONE BUZZING.]
Holy shit! That's what that song is about, yo? Mm-hmm.
But wait, why does he want to do it in the sun? He don't wanna beat that shit off in the shade? Oh, boy.
What's up? My very special brother who is still at The Allied just group texted like seventeen thousand people telling them to go there for his "Last Hurrah.
" Ooh! That's dark.
Little bit, yeah.
Hey, Rob, what do you think of this shirt? CHERISE: Yo, I like it.
It makes a statement.
It's like, "Hey, my stepdaughter's teenage friends, "I, too, am cool and enjoy rock and roll music.
" - I was asking Rob.
- I don't care! - I like it.
- Really? Yeah.
I also liked it yesterday.
- And the day before that.
- CHERISE: Ohh! You're fucking dirty.
Why do you care what I think about your shirt all of a sudden? Nothing.
Just forget it.
All right.
Um, hey, who wants to go to a "Last Hurrah"? Yeah, no, I gotta go, uh, to the warehouse to see if I can teach these kids some shiz, you know.
Oh, you gonna go "jam," Cherise? Oh.
No.
No, no, no.
I'm just gonna, you know, talk to 'em or whatever.
They're like little cute little fuckin' babies over there.
You know, I'll just be like, you know, "Don't quit.
Keep your head up.
" That kind of stuff.
Whatever, whatever.
Blah-blah-blah-blah.
All right.
Simon, let's go.
Sim-on? - Simon.
- Hmm.
Last hurrah.
- Oh - Allied.
Let's go.
No.
Cameron and the mid-life crisis brigade slamming vodka shots and, like, close-talking at me? Come on, it won't be that bad.
I, I would, literally, rather listen to Creed.
Whoa! All right.
I hear you.
Um cool.
- See you guys later.
- All right, y'all.
Peace out.
All right.
Cameron Brooks.
He was a good man.
- WOMAN: Yeah.
- An honest man.
A man on whom I could always rely to have some dank-ass weed! - Yes, that is true.
- [LAUGHTER.]
WOMAN: And so I was saddened, as many of you were, to hear of his apparent passing.
That's right.
He's dead now.
Rest in peace, ya bitch! [ALL CHEERING.]
Oh! Roberto is here! - My life is made! - Hey! THE HAMMER: Bartender! Signori! Drei whiskey, bitte, danke, for my three best friends.
He's bad at counting.
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.
- Rob.
- Mm-hmm.
- I am so glad that you're here.
- What's going, what's going on? I have realized that my life is over.
Very soon.
You know, very soon.
And so this, all this, this is, uh, my Last Hurrah.
You know? Look.
See? It's official.
- Wow.
- Now, Rob, question for you.
Is your cute friend from the record store also coming? - Cherise? - Yes.
No.
No.
Oh, I don't care.
Hey, is your cute wife from your house coming? Oh.
Mmm.
Put your brakes on.
BOTH: Mm, mm, mm, mm.
Don't do that.
So, I did a full jukebox takeover.
The complete and unabridged soundtrack - of my previous life.
- MAN: What's up, Cam? Now, Rob, have I ever told you about the time I got kicked out of Daniel Day-Lewis's birthday.
If you're under 75 - Fuck! You invited Mac? - Hmm? Mac is here? CAMERON: Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Full disclosure.
I am very high right now.
I will probably be doing some very questionable things this evening.
- So questionable.
- And, also, you know whose team I'm on.
- Yes.
- It's team R-O-B, baby.
THE HAMMER: It's team R-O-B.
That guy's been here since the beginning.
I mean, it's only fitting that I step up and be the bigger man, so that's what [SCOFFS.]
Yeah, this is a real big boy party you got here, big man.
Well, what do you want me to do, kick him out, okay? - No, no.
- No.
Right? So just fuckin' take a shot.
Boom.
Who loves you? It's me.
Oh, hey! [INDISCERNIBLE CONVERSATION.]
CAMERON: And now we're cool.
[EXHALES SHARPLY.]
- Hey, Sammy, what's up, man? - What's happening? Got an extra one of those? - For you, baby.
- Thank you.
SAMMY: You outta here? - Yeah, I gotta jet, man.
- Do your thing.
- Good to see you.
- Rob? Hi.
I'm Lily.
I'm Mac's fiancée? - Hi.
Yeah, hi.
- Hey.
I just wanted to say hi and introduce myself.
Yeah, yeah, it's, uh, it's nice to meet you.
You fucking bitch.
I'm Lily.
I'm Mac's fiancée? - I, uh, I like your shoes.
- Oh! Thank you.
- You gonna be able to run in those? - What? Don't come back, you fuckin' bitch! I'll fuckin' gouge your fuckin' eyes out! I'm Lily.
I'm Mac's fiancée? [LILY SCREAMS.]
You bitch! I'm Lily.
I'm Mac's fiancée? Hi.
Hey.
Yeah.
Um, congratulations on the thing.
Thanks.
Look, I was just I wanted to say I, I really hope you're not leaving on our account.
I mean, we could totally go if you're at all uncomfortable.
These are your people, you know? Pff.
No, no, I'm, I'm totally comfortable.
I was just actually making a phone call.
Yeah.
I, I can't leave my brother in there alone, you know.
He's, uh incredibly irresponsible.
Makes horrible life choices.
Okay.
Good.
I'm glad.
Look, I know that this is a little bit weird, but I was just thinking maybe we could all drink until it's not weird.
I don't know.
What do you think? First round on me? Yeah.
Yeah! Sounds great.
Awesome.
All right.
See you in there.
See you in there.
What the fuck is her problem? [EXHALES HEAVILY.]
Okay, I need backup.
- [LINE RINGING.]
- [CLEARS THROAT.]
SIMON: [VOICEMAIL.]
Uh, hey, you got Simon.
Um, nobody calls anybody no more.
Just, just send me a text [LINE RINGING.]
CHERISE: [VOICEMAIL.]
You out here calling my phone, worried about what I'm doing You got to be kidding me.
[LINE RINGS.]
A little warning, is all I'm saying.
A little warning would have been nice, dude.
CAM: Yeah.
Well, you don't need warning, okay.
Look at you.
You're a boss.
I'm sorry.
I think I do need warning.
I'm in flats and Mac's with fuckin' Andre the Giant's hot cousin.
- Hey.
- MAC: Hey, Rob.
Thought I might run into you here.
Yes, yes, you Because I'm an alcoholic.
- Whoo! - [LAUGHTER.]
THE HAMMER: We all are.
No, I mean, you know, it's Cam's thing, and you're his sister, so Right.
Yes, that is also a reason why I would - Yep.
- MAC: Mm-hmm.
Can I sit down? Yeah.
For sure.
CAMERON: Ah, Mac.
Cheers it up.
You want, uh, you want another one? No, I'm good, I'm good.
I'm good too.
Great.
- How you doing? - 'Sup? - You good? - Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, I'm good.
- Mm-hmm.
- How are you? - Yeah, I'm fine, I just, uh - Hey.
- Hey.
- Hi.
- You're back.
I'm, I'm back.
- For you.
- Oh, thank you.
Whiskey neat, right? Yes, that is, that's my drink.
Thank you.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
- [BOTTLES CLINK.]
Mm, I love your shirt, by the way.
Oh, thanks.
Thank you.
I love your sweatshirt.
Thank you.
I didn't know we were going out and so I kind of had two big Belgian waffles for dinner, so here we are! Right.
Hey, how's the store? Oh, it's really good! - Really good, you know.
- MAC: That's good.
It's like it's busy.
We're good.
- Good.
- Yeah.
- That's good.
- That's good.
MAC: I'm pleased to hear.
- Hi.
- Hey! Hi.
- How are you.
Mm.
- Good.
- I hit you up.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, you did.
- [ROB CHUCKLES.]
Um, this is Clyde, you guys.
This is, um, Mac.
And his fiancée.
- Oh.
Hey, congrats.
- MAC: Thank you.
- CLYDE: That's awesome.
- Thanks.
- Thanks.
- CLYDE: Cool.
LILY: So, Clyde.
- CLYDE: Yeah? - Where are you coming from? Oh, my climbing gym, just around the corner.
Yeah.
- Don't laugh at - Sorry.
Yeah, don't have to Oh, man, making me feel bad.
I haven't signed up to the gym since I've been back.
Well, don't feel bad on my account.
I wasn't, uh, working out.
Just over there doing some volunteering.
Well, thanks, now I feel even worse.
- Sorry, man.
- He's joking.
- Sorry.
- Oh.
I'm not, I'm, uh I'm not Sorry, I'm not joking.
I, uh There's, it's free classes for these kids who are, like, underprivileged youth.
And they do it, uh, once a week, but I go, like, twice a month to try to, like, you know, chip in.
Oh, I didn't, I didn't know that.
- That's cool, man.
- That is so cool.
- Thanks.
- That is really cool.
Yeah.
It really it started as self-serving act.
How is volunteering a self-serving act? - Yeah.
- Uh I guess we're doing this.
I, uh, I have a fear of kids.
- They intimidate me.
- You what? How do kids intimidate you? Oh, I don't know, I just want them to like me, a lot, and I try to impress them and I kind of freeze up and then I try really hard and, uh, they, they can sense how thirsty I am for approval.
And then I really go for it and spin out and it gets weird, and it's not good for anyone.
So I'm coming off of that, just really want - Do you want a drink? - Uh, yes.
- Yeah.
- Please, I would.
Oh, man.
Man, that's, uh, that's really cool of you, man.
I, I've been meaning to do something like that myself, you know.
- CLYDE: Yeah.
- Um, excuse me.
You're very good at volunteering the idea of volunteering.
He's been doing that forever, actually.
- Hey! - Hmm.
Ooh! Tell me more.
What about that time when I, when I volunteered for the marathon? Oh, is that, is that what happened? Yeah, in a way.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
'Cause what I remember happening is, um, you trying to steal the free Gatorade and the actual volunteers yelling at you.
- Yeah, well - And then didn't you panic and you told them that you were in the marathon Okay, okay.
Let's get this straight And then ran for three blocks in your jeans so that they would believe you? - Am I remembering that correctly? - Yes, I was dehydrated! It was like 90 degrees! What do you want me to do? He almost knocked over a wheelchair racer.
Okay, yeah, that I will take the blame for.
- As you should! - Yes.
And I do! - Oh, do you? - No, I don't, actually.
- ROB: Oh, my God.
- He was that wide! [OVERLAPPING ARGUMENT.]
I'm gonna stop talking.
Uhh! Does anyone want another round? - Yes.
- Yeah.
- [MAVIS JOHN'S USE MY BODY PLAYING.]
- We don't have to get down Just to get it on You know how to use My body Ow! 'Cause you got rhythm You got style That is why I like you Ow! - Hey.
- Hey, you.
I was just trying to offset the sweatshirt vibes a little bit.
Word.
Word.
I feel you.
Does it seem like I'm trying? Annoyingly, no.
Hey, tonight's been kind of fun.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's been, it's been not bad.
I think it'd be cool if you and I were able to, um, to be friends.
Fuck you! Yeah.
Yeah, tha that would be, that would be cool.
You and Clyde are really cute together, by the way.
Oh, that's not No, no, no, I was just saying to Mac that we should, like, all hang out together sometime.
You know? Like, double-date? Yeah.
Yeah, that would be We'd love that.
Great.
- Okay.
I'm committing.
- Looks good.
- See you later.
- Yeah.
All right, see you out there.
What a fucking bitch.
[LUTHER VANDROSS'S NEVER TOO MUCH PLAYING ON JUKEBOX.]
BOTH: Ahhh! Hammer Slam! - Oh, boy.
- There it is.
- There we go.
- Let's go.
Uh we need to get some Hey! - Hey.
- Rob's friend.
THE HAMMER: Ohh! There he is.
Come on.
Do you Hammer Slam? Uh yeah, sure.
What's, what's Hammer Slam? Well, that's the Hammer.
So when you see The Hammer, what you do is Hammer Slam.
Or anytime there's a new song, Hammer Slam.
Oh, so it it's just never not taking shots.
- Yes.
- Yeah, okay, I got it.
- Yeah, I got it.
- What's your name? - Clyde.
- Hey, can I get a sloe gin fizz? Whoa, God, no gin fizz.
Trevor, Hammer Slam.
So, we need shots.
Forget about the sloe gin.
None of that.
So you're having a baby.
- That's huge.
- Thank you, Clyde.
- Yeah.
- Because, tonight is not about the future.
Tonight is an homage to the past.
Because I used to live a life of freedom and spontaneity.
Sloe gin fizz.
Please.
Sloe no gin fizz.
Fuck.
- He needs to Google something else.
- That guy! God! [CLEARS THROAT.]
But all that's over now.
You know why? 'Cause no one calls Ned Deetch anymore.
Okay.
You know why? Because he had a baby! So, you feel me? Yeah, yeah, I feel you.
That sucks, man.
I'm really sorry.
And, like, Rob's all bummed 'cause Mac broke off the engagement.
And, like, I'm like she dodged a bullet and she wants to be mad at me? Right? Like but she still has her freedom.
She doesn't have a baby on the way.
Like, fuck is she fucking problems about.
Um yeah, I don't know, man.
Hey! There he is! That's my guy.
There's a guy.
- What's happening? - And this is Mac.
This is Clyme.
- Hey, man.
- You guys, um, just be good friends, but you know I gotta do 'cause I'm feeling a little tipsy.
So, we're gonna go to the bathroom and hit it.
Yeah, don't worry This is the Last Hurrah.
- Let's go, Hammer.
- All right.
- CAMERON: You guys be friends.
- See you, Clop.
- MAC: Hey, man.
- Hey.
Hey, guys.
- LILY: Hey! - Whiskey.
Uh, bunch of it.
Hey, let's do it, bud.
- Oh, Rob.
- Hey! I've been wanting to talk to you because If it's your idea for dishwasher cabinets, you've told me.
CAMERON: No, no, no, no, no.
- What's up? - I mean, really, they get washed in the same place.
the same.
It's really - CAMERON: It's a good idea.
Right? - Mm-hmm.
No, but what I wanted to say was just, you know, - I want to be a good man for Nikki.
- ROB: I know.
CAMERON: I love Nikki.
Have you ever thought about Hey, The Hammer has all your cocaine in the bathroom.
He's gonna do all that shit by himself, man.
- No, he isn't.
- Get in there.
Get in there.
- LILY: Hey! - CLYDE: Hi.
- So, double-date is on.
- Yeah.
- Oh, well - It sounds good.
- Uh - Right? 'Cause I've been saying we need more "couple friends.
" Right.
Yeah.
Yes.
Cool.
What do we do? I've got cocaine Craft night.
Running around my brain Bowling.
Ooh, lot of cocaine Sushi? Running around my brain Ahh, it's Clyde.
And Mac and Rob.
You guys, you guys were so worried this whole time about hanging out together.
But, but then, but then, like, look.
We did it.
Last Hurrah.
And everybody's friends, it's so good.
And why? - 'Cause of you, man.
- You know it.
Hey, can I talk to you? Right? What? No.
- Yep.
- No.
- Just a sec.
- We're doing the friendship - ROB: Just one second.
- It's friends.
- It's friends.
- Cam, - first of all - What? You have cocaine all over your nose.
Second of all, don't you think you've had enough? I think I've had not enough.
- Thank you very much.
- Cam.
Cam.
No, what what's your problem, dude? You're fucked up, and you're making everyone uncomfortable.
Maybe you're uncomfortable.
As usual.
But I'm pretty sure that "everybody" are having a good time, thank you very much, Mrs.
Grumpypants.
I'm not grumpy! I'm just trying to handle the situation - like an adult, okay? - Oh, you're an adult? 'Cause you dress like a little boy.
[SNIFFLES.]
Look, just go home to your pregnant wife.
Why don't you go home to your pregnant wife? Oh, that's right.
You don't have a pregnant wife.
Why? 'Cause every relationship that you touch turns to shit! 'Cause you're like, "What happened with me and Kat? And what went wrong with me and Justin?" Oh, "What happened with me and Mac who was perfect for me?" "I'm Rob and my whole life is, mmm, pain, and, bleh, problems.
" So, just quick math, maybe you're the problem.
You really suck right now, you know that? Yes, I do know that.
- Oh, hey.
- Hey.
Roberto.
Where's, um, where'd Clyde go? Oh, I think he just stepped out to get some fresh air.
Yeah, I think.
I'm just gonna go check on him.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- There you are.
- Yeah.
Here I am.
Ohh, just didn't want to, you know, did not want to be in there anymore.
- Here we are.
- I feel you, bro.
It's weird in there.
Yes.
For sure.
Hey, I should probably tell you something, um Me and that guy in there, Mac? We used to be engaged.
So Yeah, I know.
Your brother told me.
Of course he did.
It was somewhere in the middle of describing what a "Hammer Slam" is.
And, uh, then Hammer smelling me.
Uh, I think that's when I found out.
So Anyway, I'm sorry I didn't, I didn't tell you.
I just, it's all kinda hard to explain.
"Clyde, this is Mac.
"We were engaged.
- Now we're not.
" - Great.
- Right? - Yep.
No.
- You're not now? - Mm-hmm.
- No, we're not anymore.
- Oh, you're not.
- Okay.
- He's he's engaged to someone else.
Right.
And she knows that? She knows that part? Okay, yes.
Now when you say it that way, pretty simple.
- Yeah.
- Pretty easy to explain.
- Tonight, no.
- Yeah, hey, look, honestly, it's fine.
It's fine.
Cool.
So next time, that's how I'll do it.
Next time.
Great.
Great! How many times have you been engaged? - How many fake boyfriends do you have? - Just you.
- Oh, thanks.
- You're my only fake boyfriend.
You're my only fake boyfriend and my favorite fake boyfriend.
Is it like "fake news"? Is it like - fake fiancée - Yep.
Fake news, - fake boyfriend.
- Fake boyfriend.
- We go to fake movies.
- Is this a real bar? Are we even drinking real beer? Is this real life? - Yeah.
- Hey, thank Hey, thank you.
Just, you're the best.
You're the best.
- Yeah.
- You're the best.
You're the best.
Mm, I don't know.
Um I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Fuck.
- What do you mean - No, I don't know.
I just don't know.
Um you don't know if those are fake kisses or real kisses? Ki kinda.
Oh, fuck! Well, this is fuckin' chaos.
This isn't on you.
But, like, I've, I've Fuck, I've worked so hard to cut that shit out of my life.
Like, to cut this fuckin' chaos out, you know? And you're fuckin' messy.
I think about you all the time, Rob.
I don't really know what to do with it.
I just want you to know, like, I would do this.
You know? Like, I would do this.
With you.
If you wanted to do it.
Um But I don't want to do this thing where I'm like your fake boyfriend.
I don't want to be your best fake boyfriend.
So I guess I'm just asking you, like, is this a thing? Yes or no.
[SNIFFLES.]
I don't know.
- I don't know.
I don't know.
- Yeah.
Yeah, that's okay.
That's fine.
[GLASS SHATTERS.]
What the fuck, man! Whoa! What's your fuckin' problem? What's your problem.
I'm sorry.
Did I spill something on your ironic Seinfeld jeans? - I'm sorry.
There it is.
- Hey, hey, hey.
- MAN: Fuck you, man! - I'm sorry.
- He's really fucked up.
- Get the fuck out of here.
- Get this guy the fuck out of here! - [PEOPLE SHOUTING.]
- You get out of here.
- Get this guy the fuck out of here! You know what? You know what you can - Hey! Hey! Shit! - [BOTTLES SHATTERING.]
- All right.
Hey! Hey! Hey! - Fuck you, man! Fuck you! Huh? Goddamn! MAC: Hey, what the fuck's going on? - CLYDE: Fuck! - MAC: What're you doing, man? - Fuck! - All right, let me get - Let me see.
Let me see.
- All right.
- I got it.
- He's cut.
Let me get some ice.
- Mac, I got it.
- He needs some ice.
Mac, I'll get it.
I'll do it.
All right.
Party's over.
You can go home.
You're bleeding.
Yep.
CAMERON: Oh, fuck! - That was fun, right? - [ROB SCOFFS.]
- I mean, up until the last part.
- Hmm.
[CAR APPROACHING.]
[CAR DOOR SLAMS.]
Uh-oh.
Hi.
Hey.
I'm gonna let you guys [CLEARS THROAT.]
You wanna explain now or explain later.
I'm so excited to have this baby with you.
Just, I don't wanna lose the person that I used to be.
That guy's I like that guy.
He's super-chill.
Baby that's not going to happen.
I don't wanna lose the guy I used to be either.
Like, the first thing that's gonna happen after I have this baby is I'm gonna get drunk as fuck, you know what I'm saying? I'm talking like lose my shoes, post a bunch of crazy, blurry Instagram Stories, come home and dump cereal all over the kitchen.
After that, we may both have to grow up.
Just a little tiny bit.
[SNIFFLES.]
- You good? - ROB: Yeah.
CAMERON: I'm sorry.
About what I said earlier.
It's fine.
I say fucked-up shit when I'm faded, you know.
Don't worry about it.
And you were probably right, so - Bye, Nikki.
- Bye, Rob.
I wasn't right.
Yeah, you were.
[JOHN MOODS'S DANCE WITH THE NIGHT PLAYING.]
And I don't know where they're taking me You could end up dead or wake up free Are you looking at me? But I'm fast asleep I want a chance I wanna pay my dues Don't wanna live forever In someone else's shoes And I don't know where they're taking me You could end up dead or wake up free But the further you get, the closer you'll be And it's a little late For the light to shine Hearts gone dry You and I It all just falls Apart