Hooten and the Lady (2016) s01e07 Episode Script
Cambodia
1 HERCULES: It was him, wasn't it? He killed them both.
He found us.
I wasn't careful enough.
HOOTEN: It's the 51st Fabergé Egg.
The Broken Heart.
ALEX: Hooten! No! Why did you just do that? If you take it, then the person that wants it will come after you too.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC) (SOFT MUSIC) All right, you're up, kid! (MUSIC CRESCENDO) (DRAMATIC MUSIC) How the hell did you get ahead of me? Shh! This is the place! Listen.
Okay.
Getting weird.
What does it say? Beware, the crazy American, he thinks stone walls can talk.
I can feel a breeze.
We need to push here.
Or do you want to ask these guys first? I have a machete, you know.
You should remember that.
(HOOTEN GRUNTS WITH EFFORT) Alright, stay close, Jian.
Watch out for traps.
Oh What died in here? (BOTH PANTING) Okay, no one freak out, just relax.
Nice and slow.
Kinda stole my move there.
I'll let you do the next one.
What next one? Where? Oh, the shankha! Wait, wait, wait, wait.
He's still in here for a reason.
(SIGHS) Watch and learn, kid.
(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC) (CHUCKLES) (JIAN GASPS) JIAN: I don't think that's meant to happen.
HOOTEN: No kidding! One Ya! (MOANS) JIAN: Nice landing! Just run! [BOSTON'S: "More than a feeling" ringtone.]
Hello, I can't get to the phone right now, but if you leave - your name and number - ALEX: Hooten, I know it's you.
Just talk to me, for God's sake.
There's nothing to talk about.
I told you, I'm out.
No more tombs No more British Museum I've got a job in Canada now, I'm working on a fracking facility.
Money is good.
Beer's cheap.
So, go get married, knock out a couple of baby Farquhars, and stop bothering me.
(FAR WEST MUSIC) [EZRA FURMAN: "Restless Year".]
You didn't say "please".
(Doo-Wop Refrain) Transcribed by the Hoody I set up camp in the center of town Ready for freedom when it all comes down Snapping my fingers, walking around I'm a dusty jewel in the thrown-out crown Got a bus pass to make my way From hideout to hideout in the heat of the day I got a talisman tote with the whole array And when you catch my coat-tails I'll be miles away So what's the hold-up? You have the chakra, right? Yes, and no.
It's been sent to our restorer, for cleaning.
But I can download you a picture of it from our archive.
No, I need a three dimensional image, and I need it now.
It would help to know why.
And, more particularly, why I'm not supposed to tell Alex.
I need to handle this one by myself.
It's for her own good.
Trust me.
(KNOCKING AT THE DOOR) Promise me you didn't tell her.
I can promise you that I will not tell her again.
Hello everyone! Isn't this a lovely surprise? Hello.
Jian, meet Alex, former associate, and all-time pain in my ass.
You said she'd been grounded.
Yes, she has, and it's your fault.
So, you two better work things out, before Clive hears about this.
Judas.
You see, this is why I don't work with her anymore.
HOOTEN: She doesn't know when to mind her own business.
- ALEX: Uh, pot kettle! - Combine with the utter inability to let anyone else have the last word.
- He's describing himself, really.
- Go home, Alex! I don't need you.
You're looking for Shambhala, aren't you? And the Cintamani jewel.
And I do get the last word after all.
I'm worried about you, Hooten.
I mean, really, genuinely concerned.
Is this a guilt trip about leaving me stranded in Russia? I though that meant we were done.
That was just a spat.
It doesn't mean you have to disappear of the face of the planet.
You're still pissed about the Egg.
I got a bit paranoid, I admit.
Your friend was murdered.
And now you're hiding out here in Cambodia.
What? Can't a guy have a vacation? Shutting me out, lying about where you are, and now, chasing something that doesn't even exist! A jewel that bestows immortality.
You're right.
I've lost it.
Then why are you doing it? I know the legend.
Find the four lots implements of the Hindu God Vishnu, which was stolen from his statue in Angkor Wat.
JIAN: We've two of them already.
HOOTEN: Um, um.
No, we don't! Go buy yourself some candy! The kid is easily confused.
Not playing with a full deck.
That's why the monks took him in.
Oh, crap Look.
The shankha and padma.
And I know where the gada is too.
- JIAN: We're going there now.
- No, we're going to the gift shop now.
They're fakes.
We're gonna make copies and sell them to the tourists.
This is why you want the chakra.
Its decorations match these almost exactly.
Pure coincidences.
There's like a gazillion chakras in the world.
Yes, but the one in the British Museum was found in this exact region of Cambodia.
It's one of the four, isn't it? - It's actually real! - Don't do that.
Be strong.
You know, stick to your original conviction.
This is a legend! Wait, it says that the symbol on these will direct you to Shambhala.
ALEX: Shangri-La.
Where we'll find the Cintamani jewel.
How can they? There's no such place.
But he knows someone who pay us a fortune to find out.
You're getting even more irritating than she is.
(TENSION BUILDING) (SOMBER MUSIC) So, who is this buyer then? If he's in anyway reputable, he'll know what you're promising him is a fantasy.
I keep telling you the same thing and here you are, still following me around.
If I had Clive's number, you'd be so fired right now.
- Not if we find the jewel first.
- Oh, oh.
Back up.
There's no "we".
Just me and Jian.
He's the one who knows where they're hidden.
Yes, and I'm curious as to how? People've been searching for these four artefacts for centuries.
And suddenly, a twelve year old boy knows their exact location.
The elders in my wat have an ancient Hindu manuscript.
Which reveal where they were hidden.
Hey, can you stop offering information we don't have to? The temple is close by.
Wait here! - You stole that sacred manuscript.
- No! Jian sneaked to look at it one day.
That's all.
And not because I said.
He came to me, said he needed my help.
How very lucrative for you.
Don't do the moral thing.
Not when you're trying to jump on this bandwagon with me.
That's so not why I'm here.
We've got a problem.
(FOREIGN LANGUAGE FROM AFAR) (A MAN KEEPS TALKING) - HOOTEN: Who are they? - JIAN: The PMC.
JIAN: They've set up a cauldron in the temple.
Translation? It means, gangsters.
Drug dealers.
They need the oil from those roots to make ecstasy.
They'll be here all night.
So come back tomorrow.
That isn't the problem.
Look! - (SPEAKS IN NATIVE LANGUAGE) - Crap! They found the gada.
(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC) Look, we've got three of the artefacts, maybe that's enough.
No, we need all four to crack the code.
Believe me, I've tried.
We need to rig some traps.
Excuse me, Rambo, they've got guns! - ALEX: What is wrong with you? - So do I.
We're government funded, we can't shoot people.
We have got to call the police.
You kidding? This is Cambodia.
They probably drove them here.
- Tell her, Jian.
- No police! What we need is to wait until it's dark, and they're drunk.
HOOTEN: Looks like you're outvoted.
Go home, Alex.
You're getting married in two weeks.
Oh, so you did get my invitation.
The one that says "RSVP" on it.
Edward needs you, I don't.
Alright, have fun, Hooten.
ALEX: Hope you don't get shot.
(WHISPERING): You keep him here, I'm gonna go get help.
It's a blessing.
She's bad news, kid.
Always whining, and being British I think our luck just changed for the better.
What? (SPEAKS NATIVE LANGUAGE) (GROANS) (SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE) (ADVENTUROUS MUSIC) (BAD GUY SHOUTING) (GUN SHOTS) (CHATTER FROM AFAR) (HOOTEN MOANS) (BAD GUY SPEAKS NATIVE LANGUAGE) (GROANS) - (MOANS) - (SPEAKS NATIVE LANGUAGE) (GROANS) (SPEAKS IN NATIVE LANGUAGE) - HOOTEN: Ah! - (SPEAKS IN NATIVE LANGUAGE) Not the kid! Let him go.
I payed him to take me here for that, it's worth money.
Mucho dang.
- As in "dollars," yeah.
- (SPEAKS IN NATIVE LANGUAGE) (CONTINUES) He he wants to know why it's worth some much.
Tell him the truth, kid.
It'll save our lives.
(BIRDS CHIRPING) (TENSION BUILDING) (NATIVE LANGUAGE FROM AFAR) (CONTINUES) (INDISCTINCT CHATTER) (MAN SPEAKS IN NATIVE LANGUAGE) (CONTINUES) (CONTINUES) (CONTINUES) (CONVERSATION IN NATIVE LANGUAGE) (WHISPERING): Where is she gone? - (NATIVE LANGUAGE) (NATIVE EXCLAMATION) (NATIVE LANGUAGE) (SHE YELLS) (NATIVE EXCLAMATION) (NATIVE LANGUAGE) Uh? (NATIVE LANGUAGE) - (PHONE ALARM BLARES) - (NATIVE LANGUAGE) (NATIVE LANGUAGE) (ALARM KEEP RINGING) (NATIVE LANGUAGE) (NATIVE LANGUAGE) (NATIVE LANGUAGE) (NATIVE LANGUAGE) (BANG) (BODY FALL SOUND) Shambhala goda guia.
(GUN COCKS) You tell him about the jewel.
How it grants your deepest desire.
(GUN SHOTS) (PANTING) Holy shit! Go Alex! - ALEX: Untie them.
- (JIAN SPEAKS NATIVE LANGUAGE) Okay, what do I do? What do I do now? You point it at them.
You're doing great.
Oh, my God, I'm gonna be sick.
(PANTING) ALEX: Do they speak english? - HOOTEN: No, why? - I think I run out of bullets.
(TENSION BUILDING) HOOTEN: The gada, now.
No (GADA CLANKS) Where is the fourth guy? He's knocked out in there.
How do you think I have his gun? You let him go or I shoot you.
Tell him, Jian.
Ah! That's it, kid.
Run! No, no, no, stay back! I'll shoot! I'll shoot! (NATIVE LANGUAGE) Ow! HOOTEN: We need to find Jian.
(ACTION MUSIC) - ALEX: Hooten, wait, slow down! - HOOTEN: Keep moving the road's - somewhere close.
I'm sure of it.
- You said that ten minutes ago.
We're lost, aren't we? (PANTING) I think it's this way.
- Are you sure? - You have a better idea? (CRACKING) (FOOTSTEPS) (WHISPERING): Maybe it's Jian? He might be looking for us.
(MEN SPEAKING FROM AFAR) We gotta run for it.
Make that road and we're safe.
I can catch a ride back in a town.
Many.
One bullet? (TENSION BUILDING) They'll see us.
Then run fast.
(FOREIGN LANGUAGE) (ACTION MUSIC) - (GUN SHOTS) - (SHE GASPS) - That was your last bullet.
- They don't know that.
Oh, God.
Now what? HOOTEN: I'm open to suggestions.
Anything at all.
Just blue sky at left field out of a box.
- I can't think while you're talking.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
It's just they're gonna realise why I'm not shooting at them any second now.
Let's back off slowly.
Brilliant! I don't know how I survived without you.
Okay, one of us can stay put while the other one escapes.
- And by one of us, you mean me.
- You're the one with the gun.
I'm getting married soon.
That could be your wedding present.
- Wouldn't you rather have a toaster? - It's not on the list.
(THEY SCREAM) (EXPLOSION) (SHE GASPS) (PANTING) What about a mine field? Is that on your list? We're at the nest.
Looks like the birds have flown.
MAN: Are you sure? They can't have gotten far.
Keep looking for them.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC) (TENSION BUILDING) (MOANS) Where is Hooten? The Khmer Rouge would have laid these land mines what, the late seventies? (PANTING) They were pretty low tech.
A mobile phone wouldn't trigger them, surely.
Try and see.
I don't have any signal anyway.
Okay, we're gonna have to get out of here by ourselves.
We can't retrace our steps because we were running, so we're gonna have to go forwards.
Give me your give me your knife.
I'm gonna, uh, poke at the ground.
Every few inches will take about an hour to clear, so we'll probably make it to that road by Christmas.
When did you say you were getting married? Yes, thank you, Mr Glass-half-empty.
Would you suggest we need the Cintamani jewel, bestow a little bit of immortality upon of us, so we could just walk out of here! I'm sorry, Alex, I tried to keep you out of this.
Out of what, Hooten?! You have to talk to me.
If I'm gonna get blown up by a bloody landmine, you know, I deserve that much at least.
What the hell is going on here? Who is the buyer? What does he Who is he? His name is Kane.
And he wants the jewel.
Even more than he wanted that Fabergé Egg.
And if I can find it first, then I can flush him out and get what I want in return.
Revenge.
What for? Killing my family.
My wife and my son.
That's why you have a gun.
- Next time I say "Stop bothering me" - Yeah.
I'll stop, I promise I won't Next time.
You're gonna tell me not to kill him, aren't you? Will it bring them back? No, what are you doing? Hooten! - It's called absolution.
- It's called suicide.
Hooten, stop moving, please! I have to save someone, Alex.
It might as well be you.
Just watch where I walk.
If I don't make it take a different path.
(TENSION BUILDING) (TENSE MUSIC) Oh, God, he couldn't (PANTING) Sorry, Ed.
Oh, I'm coming back.
I am not dying here.
Hooten! Hooten, slow down, I'm losing track! I said, stop! Hooten! It's a sign.
We're meant to live.
You just get to me, and you're safe.
HOOTEN: This is the edge of the mine field.
(SHE SIGHS) ALEX: Okay.
It's a sign.
Get it? Ah, yeah, yeah.
It's a sign, but it's also a sign.
Okay, yes, yes, yes, I get it.
You don't have to explain the jokes.
Don't get funny, Hooten.
Okay (SIGHS) (CHUCKLES) HOOTEN: He's a psychopath.
ALEX: And how is it your fault? He must have been motivated somehow.
And how did you even meet him in the first place? We shared a prison cell once in Calcutta.
If you didn't have someone to watch your back, you didn't survive.
So you were friends.
What changed? It's complicated.
Then talk slowly.
You left prison, and then what? Hooten, my life is in danger too now.
Okay? I deserve to know why.
HOOTEN: We got out, became business partners.
- ALEX: Anything legal? - Ish.
Tomb raiding mainly.
So you were stealing artefacts, and selling on the black market.
Okay, do you wanna preach, or do you wanna listen? It was a different time then, alright? Different rules.
Yes, we made a ton of compromised money, which Kane used in ways I didn't appreciate.
So I left.
- What else? - Nothing, that's it.
Hooten, there is something else.
You don't murder someone's entire family Kane does, okay? He did.
It's why I didn't want you involved.
You should have just listened to Clive and stayed grounded.
HOOTEN: Hey, man, can we get a lift? MAN: Oba balawa.
I think I think she's in trouble.
You know, she promised to call me, but hasn't.
And well, you've heard nothing either? Ed, no, not for a while.
But you know, it is Cambodia.
And the connection's sporadic.
Look, you're gonna have to go.
Because if Clive sees you here, he's gonna start asking awkward questions.
Number one being, "Should I fire you?" As well as Alex.
- HOOTEN: Jian! - I left you, sorry.
No, no, no, you got away.
You're safe.
You did the right thing.
(PANTING) (SOFT MUSIC) And you kept the gada.
Alright, we need Ella to send us a copie of the chakra, so we can start analysing the symbols and find the route to Shambhala.
No, look, I'm sorry, but you have to forget this.
Don't give up on me now, Alex, we're so close.
Hooten, I'm not, that's why I don't want her to send it.
You brought it with you.
You should have said you've got the copy.
No.
Don't open that.
Hooten, that is personnal property! I'm sorry, Alex, I had no choice.
Clive found out where you where.
How? Who told him? I was worried about you.
I've got him to agree not to fire you.
But, only if you achieve something that justifies it.
Discovering the Shambhala myth is reality, would be an excellent start.
CLIVE: So go and find the Cintamani jewel.
(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC) (INDISTINCT CHATTER) (SIGHS) ALEX: I did tell you it was a myth.
This really sucks.
Escaping that mine field gave me faith.
I thought it meant something.
What? That planning to kill someone is okay? Which god are you praying to? Maybe it was meant to frighten you, into making peace with it.
What, what do you mean? Are you hiding what you learned, so I don't get my revenge? - No.
- No?! No, I'm not! We've checked everything.
It's an eclectic set of images with no discernable connection apart from What? Apart from what? A possible link to the Nakshatras.
Astronomy, there are 27 symbols on the artefact, which could, possibly, represent the 27 Nakshatras.
- You mean the stars.
- Comets, celestial bodies, basically the entire night - in the sky.
- OK, and you neglected to tell me this? Because it's meaningless.
It's like saying the entire world, this nothing specific to pinpoint - to a particular location.
- I know, feel it.
The raised dots.
- Feel them.
- Okay.
Random patterns.
They're in all the artefacts.
- Um, um.
- All of them.
I made a drawing of the patterns Jian connected them, he was bored, having fun.
But look at this.
What if those dots were stars? What if these shapes were all constellations? You see, look at this.
That it's right there.
Would that be enough to pinpoint a location? If we join this up, we have a route.
A line in the sky from Angkor Wat - where the Vishnu statue was - To Shambhala, baby.
And the Cintamani jewel.
(ROCK MUSIC) Should I ask why we don't have a pilot? HOOTEN: He's probably busy calling the police.
I would if someone stole my balloon.
(SCOFFS) Of course you did.
I'm assuming you know how to land this thing? It's gonna be fun finding out.
[LES HANDLCAPS: "Heart of Stone".]
I need you baby I can't explain The things you do all cause me pain Now I know you got a heart of stone I love you baby, but youâre never home Ah, aah Anywhere that you may roam I know you'll see Nobody out there will ever compare There's nobody like me This was the last Nakshatra, right? Yes, it was the final image - on the implement, so - It has to be here.
Agreed.
But this is a vast area.
- And with no other directions to - You've got to help me out here, OK? What is the symbol of this Nakshatra? Its deity is a Nâga.
It's usually a seven headed cobra, - but it can have other incarna - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Need to look for a snake-shaped object.
- Yeah, I'm looking at one, right now.
- Funny.
Jian thinks you're gonna find this jewel, and sell it, and that his half of the fortune will secure his future.
I'm giving him my half too.
Oh, so you're gonna make sure we get payed, and then start your killing spree.
Nice.
Wow.
Even in a balloon, I'm not above of the moral high-ground.
ALEX: It's why you brought me.
To help talk you out of it.
Because you know deep down this is wrong.
No, it's because we haven't found the jewel yet.
And there might be more crap to figure out before we do.
Well if there is I'm not helping you, so you won't find it.
HOOTEN: I'll just have to ask the seven-headed Nâga then.
Let him show me the way.
HOOTEN: Jian, check this out.
(STIRRING MUSIC) (SOMBER MUSIC) (GUNSHOTS) ALEX: Who are they? Hooten? That's him, isn't it? How the hell did he find us? (STRESSFUL MUSIC) No flashlights, it will tell him where to shoot.
HOOTEN: We need to find the jewel first, or he'll kill us all.
- ALEX: Hooten? - Alright, flashlights on.
(SNAKES HISSING) No, no, stay back! Welcome to Shangri-La.
(HISSING NOISE) HOOTEN: I thought paradise would have less snakes.
ALEX: They'll be here any second.
We need to hurry.
Alright, it's done.
Who's first? You're the heaviest, if it can hold you, we'll be fine.
You'd better leave us your gun, though.
Just in case, you do fall in.
Loving the positive vibes, here.
Nice knowing you, kid.
(SIGHS) Ah Alright, piece of cake.
Jian, you're next! HOOTEN: Careful, it's a long way down.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC) Jian, what are you doing? What I was told.
I've got his gun.
They're unarmed! Come, quickly! (GUN SHOTS) (ALEX SCREAMS) - Alex! - Ah! - Hooten! - (HISSING NOISE) (SHE MOANS) (SHE SCREAMS) ALEX: Hooten! (SHE MOANS) Yet another woman who'll risk her life to be with you.
Ah! HOOTEN: Alex! - Why is that? - Pull her up.
She has nothing to do with this.
Come on, please! When you find the jewel, yes.
Focus! She is not your concern.
Pleasing me is your concern.
For your parents' sake if nothing else.
HOOTEN: Help her up! (HISSING NOISE) (ALEX SCREAMS) Better hurry.
(STRESSFUL MUSIC) ALEX: Hooten! I see it.
Pull her up! (GROANS) (DRAMATIC MUSIC) HOOTEN: I've got the jewel! Without the machete.
Is this what you want? End me.
Let Alex go.
You just leave her alone.
Like you left my wife alone? You ran off with his wife? That's a significant detail to leave out.
He murdered her for it.
And our son.
KANE: You knew what would happen.
What I do to those who betray me.
It was a six years old boy.
He didn't betray anybody.
He just loved his parents.
I trusted you like a brother.
She didn't love you.
She was scared of you.
So you condemned her.
To a lifetime in hiding.
Wondering "How long will we have?" - And for what? - It was still the better life.
Is that what you tell yourself? Would your son feel the same way? (SAD MUSIC) KANE: Now, finally it's time to put an end to your misery.
If you're gonna kill me, just do it.
Don't talk me to death.
(SCREAMS) (GROANS) KANE: Enough.
(MOANS) Nobody kills him but me.
(GROANS) You'll loose, Kane.
You had his family killed because you were scared and you're a coward.
(KANE SCREAMS) HOOTEN: Not helping.
ALEX: You're the one who's been hiding all of his life.
You're a pathetic little bully.
And too cared to face the truth about himself, that your wife chose the better man! - Just shut up! - He'll always have beaten you, and you know it.
And that's what make you so inadequate.
Just shut up! Finally.
(ACTION MUSIC) Hooten.
(KANE SCREAMS) (BODY THUDS) (HISSING NOISE) (DRAMATIC MUSIC) The jewel is down there with those snakes.
You'll be our guest.
We couldn't catch a lift in your helicopter, could we? Hooten.
He said he would kill my parents.
It's over.
You can go home now.
(SAD MUSIC) Remember Playing poker and the guy looks at his cards again, that means He's going to fold or bluff.
'Cos he's got nothing.
Exactly.
This is my half of the finders fee.
(WHISPERING): Buy your dad a better boat.
Take care, kid.
The jewel and the Vishnu artifacts await the Cambodian authorities.
I think it's gonna be a very fruitful collaboration.
What about Clive? Is he happy for me to keep chasing myths? ED: Now that I've given him the Egg.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're officially ungrounded.
Are you sure it's alright? I thought you said it might be dangerous.
No, it's fine.
They're all good.
Well, get yourself on a plane.
Because you've got a wedding to attend.
Yeah, I can't wait.
- I love you.
- I love you too.
Bye.
Back on board? Clive's number one girl again? No, that'll always be Ella.
But we have license to roam.
So, good.
Was it worth it? Have you ever heard the saying, "When you set up for revenge, dig two graves?" Yes, Confucious.
The man knew what he was talking about.
Actually the correct quotation is, uh, "Before you embark on the journey of revenge" Sorry, I don't know why I do that.
Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
That's another one of his.
Word for word this time.
I'll bear it in mind.
I still owe you a wedding present.
If that cauldron is still bubbling, I can always cook you up some ecstasy.
ALEX: Nothing chemical, thank you.
HOOTEN: Silver spoons from the hotel? ALEX: All stolen? HOOTEN: What about found? Because I just had the greatest idea ever.
Of course it involves a little detour home.
To a lake, in Russia.
- Ah.
- Exactly! HOOTEN: We can find the Egg now! I'm pretty sure I remember where I threw it.
[CAGE THE ELEPHANT: "In one ear".]
Let me buy you a beer.
I think you're going to need it.
They say that we ain't got the style - ALEX: you've got it, haven't you? - Got what? ALEX: The dias half of the map.
Aren't you supposed to be getting married? I don't know why you put out with Edward.
Put your foot down.
I gave it to your partner.
- HOOTEN: She's not my partner! - Edward, this is Hooten.
I've heard a lot about you, Mr.
Hooten.
Funny, she's never mentioned you.
An other generation X who - Are you crazy? - Crazy enough to burn down your bar.
ALEX: You do realise I'm supposed to be getting married? HOOTEN: Good luck, Lady Alexandra.
Now go and marry your knight in shining armor.
What the hell are you doing here? - This isn't fair.
- I've got this.
Still we're all in one piece, it could be worse.
They can kiss the back of my hand ALEX: It could also be better.
[EZRA FURMAN: "Restless Year".]
I set up camp in the center of town Ready for freedom when it all comes down Snapping my fingers, walking around I'm a dusty jewel in the thrown-out crown Got a bus pass to make my way From hideout to hideout in the heat of the day I got a talisman tote with the whole array And when you catch my coat-tails I'll be miles away Transcribed by the Hoody
He found us.
I wasn't careful enough.
HOOTEN: It's the 51st Fabergé Egg.
The Broken Heart.
ALEX: Hooten! No! Why did you just do that? If you take it, then the person that wants it will come after you too.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC) (SOFT MUSIC) All right, you're up, kid! (MUSIC CRESCENDO) (DRAMATIC MUSIC) How the hell did you get ahead of me? Shh! This is the place! Listen.
Okay.
Getting weird.
What does it say? Beware, the crazy American, he thinks stone walls can talk.
I can feel a breeze.
We need to push here.
Or do you want to ask these guys first? I have a machete, you know.
You should remember that.
(HOOTEN GRUNTS WITH EFFORT) Alright, stay close, Jian.
Watch out for traps.
Oh What died in here? (BOTH PANTING) Okay, no one freak out, just relax.
Nice and slow.
Kinda stole my move there.
I'll let you do the next one.
What next one? Where? Oh, the shankha! Wait, wait, wait, wait.
He's still in here for a reason.
(SIGHS) Watch and learn, kid.
(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC) (CHUCKLES) (JIAN GASPS) JIAN: I don't think that's meant to happen.
HOOTEN: No kidding! One Ya! (MOANS) JIAN: Nice landing! Just run! [BOSTON'S: "More than a feeling" ringtone.]
Hello, I can't get to the phone right now, but if you leave - your name and number - ALEX: Hooten, I know it's you.
Just talk to me, for God's sake.
There's nothing to talk about.
I told you, I'm out.
No more tombs No more British Museum I've got a job in Canada now, I'm working on a fracking facility.
Money is good.
Beer's cheap.
So, go get married, knock out a couple of baby Farquhars, and stop bothering me.
(FAR WEST MUSIC) [EZRA FURMAN: "Restless Year".]
You didn't say "please".
(Doo-Wop Refrain) Transcribed by the Hoody I set up camp in the center of town Ready for freedom when it all comes down Snapping my fingers, walking around I'm a dusty jewel in the thrown-out crown Got a bus pass to make my way From hideout to hideout in the heat of the day I got a talisman tote with the whole array And when you catch my coat-tails I'll be miles away So what's the hold-up? You have the chakra, right? Yes, and no.
It's been sent to our restorer, for cleaning.
But I can download you a picture of it from our archive.
No, I need a three dimensional image, and I need it now.
It would help to know why.
And, more particularly, why I'm not supposed to tell Alex.
I need to handle this one by myself.
It's for her own good.
Trust me.
(KNOCKING AT THE DOOR) Promise me you didn't tell her.
I can promise you that I will not tell her again.
Hello everyone! Isn't this a lovely surprise? Hello.
Jian, meet Alex, former associate, and all-time pain in my ass.
You said she'd been grounded.
Yes, she has, and it's your fault.
So, you two better work things out, before Clive hears about this.
Judas.
You see, this is why I don't work with her anymore.
HOOTEN: She doesn't know when to mind her own business.
- ALEX: Uh, pot kettle! - Combine with the utter inability to let anyone else have the last word.
- He's describing himself, really.
- Go home, Alex! I don't need you.
You're looking for Shambhala, aren't you? And the Cintamani jewel.
And I do get the last word after all.
I'm worried about you, Hooten.
I mean, really, genuinely concerned.
Is this a guilt trip about leaving me stranded in Russia? I though that meant we were done.
That was just a spat.
It doesn't mean you have to disappear of the face of the planet.
You're still pissed about the Egg.
I got a bit paranoid, I admit.
Your friend was murdered.
And now you're hiding out here in Cambodia.
What? Can't a guy have a vacation? Shutting me out, lying about where you are, and now, chasing something that doesn't even exist! A jewel that bestows immortality.
You're right.
I've lost it.
Then why are you doing it? I know the legend.
Find the four lots implements of the Hindu God Vishnu, which was stolen from his statue in Angkor Wat.
JIAN: We've two of them already.
HOOTEN: Um, um.
No, we don't! Go buy yourself some candy! The kid is easily confused.
Not playing with a full deck.
That's why the monks took him in.
Oh, crap Look.
The shankha and padma.
And I know where the gada is too.
- JIAN: We're going there now.
- No, we're going to the gift shop now.
They're fakes.
We're gonna make copies and sell them to the tourists.
This is why you want the chakra.
Its decorations match these almost exactly.
Pure coincidences.
There's like a gazillion chakras in the world.
Yes, but the one in the British Museum was found in this exact region of Cambodia.
It's one of the four, isn't it? - It's actually real! - Don't do that.
Be strong.
You know, stick to your original conviction.
This is a legend! Wait, it says that the symbol on these will direct you to Shambhala.
ALEX: Shangri-La.
Where we'll find the Cintamani jewel.
How can they? There's no such place.
But he knows someone who pay us a fortune to find out.
You're getting even more irritating than she is.
(TENSION BUILDING) (SOMBER MUSIC) So, who is this buyer then? If he's in anyway reputable, he'll know what you're promising him is a fantasy.
I keep telling you the same thing and here you are, still following me around.
If I had Clive's number, you'd be so fired right now.
- Not if we find the jewel first.
- Oh, oh.
Back up.
There's no "we".
Just me and Jian.
He's the one who knows where they're hidden.
Yes, and I'm curious as to how? People've been searching for these four artefacts for centuries.
And suddenly, a twelve year old boy knows their exact location.
The elders in my wat have an ancient Hindu manuscript.
Which reveal where they were hidden.
Hey, can you stop offering information we don't have to? The temple is close by.
Wait here! - You stole that sacred manuscript.
- No! Jian sneaked to look at it one day.
That's all.
And not because I said.
He came to me, said he needed my help.
How very lucrative for you.
Don't do the moral thing.
Not when you're trying to jump on this bandwagon with me.
That's so not why I'm here.
We've got a problem.
(FOREIGN LANGUAGE FROM AFAR) (A MAN KEEPS TALKING) - HOOTEN: Who are they? - JIAN: The PMC.
JIAN: They've set up a cauldron in the temple.
Translation? It means, gangsters.
Drug dealers.
They need the oil from those roots to make ecstasy.
They'll be here all night.
So come back tomorrow.
That isn't the problem.
Look! - (SPEAKS IN NATIVE LANGUAGE) - Crap! They found the gada.
(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC) Look, we've got three of the artefacts, maybe that's enough.
No, we need all four to crack the code.
Believe me, I've tried.
We need to rig some traps.
Excuse me, Rambo, they've got guns! - ALEX: What is wrong with you? - So do I.
We're government funded, we can't shoot people.
We have got to call the police.
You kidding? This is Cambodia.
They probably drove them here.
- Tell her, Jian.
- No police! What we need is to wait until it's dark, and they're drunk.
HOOTEN: Looks like you're outvoted.
Go home, Alex.
You're getting married in two weeks.
Oh, so you did get my invitation.
The one that says "RSVP" on it.
Edward needs you, I don't.
Alright, have fun, Hooten.
ALEX: Hope you don't get shot.
(WHISPERING): You keep him here, I'm gonna go get help.
It's a blessing.
She's bad news, kid.
Always whining, and being British I think our luck just changed for the better.
What? (SPEAKS NATIVE LANGUAGE) (GROANS) (SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE) (ADVENTUROUS MUSIC) (BAD GUY SHOUTING) (GUN SHOTS) (CHATTER FROM AFAR) (HOOTEN MOANS) (BAD GUY SPEAKS NATIVE LANGUAGE) (GROANS) - (MOANS) - (SPEAKS NATIVE LANGUAGE) (GROANS) (SPEAKS IN NATIVE LANGUAGE) - HOOTEN: Ah! - (SPEAKS IN NATIVE LANGUAGE) Not the kid! Let him go.
I payed him to take me here for that, it's worth money.
Mucho dang.
- As in "dollars," yeah.
- (SPEAKS IN NATIVE LANGUAGE) (CONTINUES) He he wants to know why it's worth some much.
Tell him the truth, kid.
It'll save our lives.
(BIRDS CHIRPING) (TENSION BUILDING) (NATIVE LANGUAGE FROM AFAR) (CONTINUES) (INDISCTINCT CHATTER) (MAN SPEAKS IN NATIVE LANGUAGE) (CONTINUES) (CONTINUES) (CONTINUES) (CONVERSATION IN NATIVE LANGUAGE) (WHISPERING): Where is she gone? - (NATIVE LANGUAGE) (NATIVE EXCLAMATION) (NATIVE LANGUAGE) (SHE YELLS) (NATIVE EXCLAMATION) (NATIVE LANGUAGE) Uh? (NATIVE LANGUAGE) - (PHONE ALARM BLARES) - (NATIVE LANGUAGE) (NATIVE LANGUAGE) (ALARM KEEP RINGING) (NATIVE LANGUAGE) (NATIVE LANGUAGE) (NATIVE LANGUAGE) (NATIVE LANGUAGE) (BANG) (BODY FALL SOUND) Shambhala goda guia.
(GUN COCKS) You tell him about the jewel.
How it grants your deepest desire.
(GUN SHOTS) (PANTING) Holy shit! Go Alex! - ALEX: Untie them.
- (JIAN SPEAKS NATIVE LANGUAGE) Okay, what do I do? What do I do now? You point it at them.
You're doing great.
Oh, my God, I'm gonna be sick.
(PANTING) ALEX: Do they speak english? - HOOTEN: No, why? - I think I run out of bullets.
(TENSION BUILDING) HOOTEN: The gada, now.
No (GADA CLANKS) Where is the fourth guy? He's knocked out in there.
How do you think I have his gun? You let him go or I shoot you.
Tell him, Jian.
Ah! That's it, kid.
Run! No, no, no, stay back! I'll shoot! I'll shoot! (NATIVE LANGUAGE) Ow! HOOTEN: We need to find Jian.
(ACTION MUSIC) - ALEX: Hooten, wait, slow down! - HOOTEN: Keep moving the road's - somewhere close.
I'm sure of it.
- You said that ten minutes ago.
We're lost, aren't we? (PANTING) I think it's this way.
- Are you sure? - You have a better idea? (CRACKING) (FOOTSTEPS) (WHISPERING): Maybe it's Jian? He might be looking for us.
(MEN SPEAKING FROM AFAR) We gotta run for it.
Make that road and we're safe.
I can catch a ride back in a town.
Many.
One bullet? (TENSION BUILDING) They'll see us.
Then run fast.
(FOREIGN LANGUAGE) (ACTION MUSIC) - (GUN SHOTS) - (SHE GASPS) - That was your last bullet.
- They don't know that.
Oh, God.
Now what? HOOTEN: I'm open to suggestions.
Anything at all.
Just blue sky at left field out of a box.
- I can't think while you're talking.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
It's just they're gonna realise why I'm not shooting at them any second now.
Let's back off slowly.
Brilliant! I don't know how I survived without you.
Okay, one of us can stay put while the other one escapes.
- And by one of us, you mean me.
- You're the one with the gun.
I'm getting married soon.
That could be your wedding present.
- Wouldn't you rather have a toaster? - It's not on the list.
(THEY SCREAM) (EXPLOSION) (SHE GASPS) (PANTING) What about a mine field? Is that on your list? We're at the nest.
Looks like the birds have flown.
MAN: Are you sure? They can't have gotten far.
Keep looking for them.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC) (TENSION BUILDING) (MOANS) Where is Hooten? The Khmer Rouge would have laid these land mines what, the late seventies? (PANTING) They were pretty low tech.
A mobile phone wouldn't trigger them, surely.
Try and see.
I don't have any signal anyway.
Okay, we're gonna have to get out of here by ourselves.
We can't retrace our steps because we were running, so we're gonna have to go forwards.
Give me your give me your knife.
I'm gonna, uh, poke at the ground.
Every few inches will take about an hour to clear, so we'll probably make it to that road by Christmas.
When did you say you were getting married? Yes, thank you, Mr Glass-half-empty.
Would you suggest we need the Cintamani jewel, bestow a little bit of immortality upon of us, so we could just walk out of here! I'm sorry, Alex, I tried to keep you out of this.
Out of what, Hooten?! You have to talk to me.
If I'm gonna get blown up by a bloody landmine, you know, I deserve that much at least.
What the hell is going on here? Who is the buyer? What does he Who is he? His name is Kane.
And he wants the jewel.
Even more than he wanted that Fabergé Egg.
And if I can find it first, then I can flush him out and get what I want in return.
Revenge.
What for? Killing my family.
My wife and my son.
That's why you have a gun.
- Next time I say "Stop bothering me" - Yeah.
I'll stop, I promise I won't Next time.
You're gonna tell me not to kill him, aren't you? Will it bring them back? No, what are you doing? Hooten! - It's called absolution.
- It's called suicide.
Hooten, stop moving, please! I have to save someone, Alex.
It might as well be you.
Just watch where I walk.
If I don't make it take a different path.
(TENSION BUILDING) (TENSE MUSIC) Oh, God, he couldn't (PANTING) Sorry, Ed.
Oh, I'm coming back.
I am not dying here.
Hooten! Hooten, slow down, I'm losing track! I said, stop! Hooten! It's a sign.
We're meant to live.
You just get to me, and you're safe.
HOOTEN: This is the edge of the mine field.
(SHE SIGHS) ALEX: Okay.
It's a sign.
Get it? Ah, yeah, yeah.
It's a sign, but it's also a sign.
Okay, yes, yes, yes, I get it.
You don't have to explain the jokes.
Don't get funny, Hooten.
Okay (SIGHS) (CHUCKLES) HOOTEN: He's a psychopath.
ALEX: And how is it your fault? He must have been motivated somehow.
And how did you even meet him in the first place? We shared a prison cell once in Calcutta.
If you didn't have someone to watch your back, you didn't survive.
So you were friends.
What changed? It's complicated.
Then talk slowly.
You left prison, and then what? Hooten, my life is in danger too now.
Okay? I deserve to know why.
HOOTEN: We got out, became business partners.
- ALEX: Anything legal? - Ish.
Tomb raiding mainly.
So you were stealing artefacts, and selling on the black market.
Okay, do you wanna preach, or do you wanna listen? It was a different time then, alright? Different rules.
Yes, we made a ton of compromised money, which Kane used in ways I didn't appreciate.
So I left.
- What else? - Nothing, that's it.
Hooten, there is something else.
You don't murder someone's entire family Kane does, okay? He did.
It's why I didn't want you involved.
You should have just listened to Clive and stayed grounded.
HOOTEN: Hey, man, can we get a lift? MAN: Oba balawa.
I think I think she's in trouble.
You know, she promised to call me, but hasn't.
And well, you've heard nothing either? Ed, no, not for a while.
But you know, it is Cambodia.
And the connection's sporadic.
Look, you're gonna have to go.
Because if Clive sees you here, he's gonna start asking awkward questions.
Number one being, "Should I fire you?" As well as Alex.
- HOOTEN: Jian! - I left you, sorry.
No, no, no, you got away.
You're safe.
You did the right thing.
(PANTING) (SOFT MUSIC) And you kept the gada.
Alright, we need Ella to send us a copie of the chakra, so we can start analysing the symbols and find the route to Shambhala.
No, look, I'm sorry, but you have to forget this.
Don't give up on me now, Alex, we're so close.
Hooten, I'm not, that's why I don't want her to send it.
You brought it with you.
You should have said you've got the copy.
No.
Don't open that.
Hooten, that is personnal property! I'm sorry, Alex, I had no choice.
Clive found out where you where.
How? Who told him? I was worried about you.
I've got him to agree not to fire you.
But, only if you achieve something that justifies it.
Discovering the Shambhala myth is reality, would be an excellent start.
CLIVE: So go and find the Cintamani jewel.
(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC) (INDISTINCT CHATTER) (SIGHS) ALEX: I did tell you it was a myth.
This really sucks.
Escaping that mine field gave me faith.
I thought it meant something.
What? That planning to kill someone is okay? Which god are you praying to? Maybe it was meant to frighten you, into making peace with it.
What, what do you mean? Are you hiding what you learned, so I don't get my revenge? - No.
- No?! No, I'm not! We've checked everything.
It's an eclectic set of images with no discernable connection apart from What? Apart from what? A possible link to the Nakshatras.
Astronomy, there are 27 symbols on the artefact, which could, possibly, represent the 27 Nakshatras.
- You mean the stars.
- Comets, celestial bodies, basically the entire night - in the sky.
- OK, and you neglected to tell me this? Because it's meaningless.
It's like saying the entire world, this nothing specific to pinpoint - to a particular location.
- I know, feel it.
The raised dots.
- Feel them.
- Okay.
Random patterns.
They're in all the artefacts.
- Um, um.
- All of them.
I made a drawing of the patterns Jian connected them, he was bored, having fun.
But look at this.
What if those dots were stars? What if these shapes were all constellations? You see, look at this.
That it's right there.
Would that be enough to pinpoint a location? If we join this up, we have a route.
A line in the sky from Angkor Wat - where the Vishnu statue was - To Shambhala, baby.
And the Cintamani jewel.
(ROCK MUSIC) Should I ask why we don't have a pilot? HOOTEN: He's probably busy calling the police.
I would if someone stole my balloon.
(SCOFFS) Of course you did.
I'm assuming you know how to land this thing? It's gonna be fun finding out.
[LES HANDLCAPS: "Heart of Stone".]
I need you baby I can't explain The things you do all cause me pain Now I know you got a heart of stone I love you baby, but youâre never home Ah, aah Anywhere that you may roam I know you'll see Nobody out there will ever compare There's nobody like me This was the last Nakshatra, right? Yes, it was the final image - on the implement, so - It has to be here.
Agreed.
But this is a vast area.
- And with no other directions to - You've got to help me out here, OK? What is the symbol of this Nakshatra? Its deity is a Nâga.
It's usually a seven headed cobra, - but it can have other incarna - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Need to look for a snake-shaped object.
- Yeah, I'm looking at one, right now.
- Funny.
Jian thinks you're gonna find this jewel, and sell it, and that his half of the fortune will secure his future.
I'm giving him my half too.
Oh, so you're gonna make sure we get payed, and then start your killing spree.
Nice.
Wow.
Even in a balloon, I'm not above of the moral high-ground.
ALEX: It's why you brought me.
To help talk you out of it.
Because you know deep down this is wrong.
No, it's because we haven't found the jewel yet.
And there might be more crap to figure out before we do.
Well if there is I'm not helping you, so you won't find it.
HOOTEN: I'll just have to ask the seven-headed Nâga then.
Let him show me the way.
HOOTEN: Jian, check this out.
(STIRRING MUSIC) (SOMBER MUSIC) (GUNSHOTS) ALEX: Who are they? Hooten? That's him, isn't it? How the hell did he find us? (STRESSFUL MUSIC) No flashlights, it will tell him where to shoot.
HOOTEN: We need to find the jewel first, or he'll kill us all.
- ALEX: Hooten? - Alright, flashlights on.
(SNAKES HISSING) No, no, stay back! Welcome to Shangri-La.
(HISSING NOISE) HOOTEN: I thought paradise would have less snakes.
ALEX: They'll be here any second.
We need to hurry.
Alright, it's done.
Who's first? You're the heaviest, if it can hold you, we'll be fine.
You'd better leave us your gun, though.
Just in case, you do fall in.
Loving the positive vibes, here.
Nice knowing you, kid.
(SIGHS) Ah Alright, piece of cake.
Jian, you're next! HOOTEN: Careful, it's a long way down.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC) Jian, what are you doing? What I was told.
I've got his gun.
They're unarmed! Come, quickly! (GUN SHOTS) (ALEX SCREAMS) - Alex! - Ah! - Hooten! - (HISSING NOISE) (SHE MOANS) (SHE SCREAMS) ALEX: Hooten! (SHE MOANS) Yet another woman who'll risk her life to be with you.
Ah! HOOTEN: Alex! - Why is that? - Pull her up.
She has nothing to do with this.
Come on, please! When you find the jewel, yes.
Focus! She is not your concern.
Pleasing me is your concern.
For your parents' sake if nothing else.
HOOTEN: Help her up! (HISSING NOISE) (ALEX SCREAMS) Better hurry.
(STRESSFUL MUSIC) ALEX: Hooten! I see it.
Pull her up! (GROANS) (DRAMATIC MUSIC) HOOTEN: I've got the jewel! Without the machete.
Is this what you want? End me.
Let Alex go.
You just leave her alone.
Like you left my wife alone? You ran off with his wife? That's a significant detail to leave out.
He murdered her for it.
And our son.
KANE: You knew what would happen.
What I do to those who betray me.
It was a six years old boy.
He didn't betray anybody.
He just loved his parents.
I trusted you like a brother.
She didn't love you.
She was scared of you.
So you condemned her.
To a lifetime in hiding.
Wondering "How long will we have?" - And for what? - It was still the better life.
Is that what you tell yourself? Would your son feel the same way? (SAD MUSIC) KANE: Now, finally it's time to put an end to your misery.
If you're gonna kill me, just do it.
Don't talk me to death.
(SCREAMS) (GROANS) KANE: Enough.
(MOANS) Nobody kills him but me.
(GROANS) You'll loose, Kane.
You had his family killed because you were scared and you're a coward.
(KANE SCREAMS) HOOTEN: Not helping.
ALEX: You're the one who's been hiding all of his life.
You're a pathetic little bully.
And too cared to face the truth about himself, that your wife chose the better man! - Just shut up! - He'll always have beaten you, and you know it.
And that's what make you so inadequate.
Just shut up! Finally.
(ACTION MUSIC) Hooten.
(KANE SCREAMS) (BODY THUDS) (HISSING NOISE) (DRAMATIC MUSIC) The jewel is down there with those snakes.
You'll be our guest.
We couldn't catch a lift in your helicopter, could we? Hooten.
He said he would kill my parents.
It's over.
You can go home now.
(SAD MUSIC) Remember Playing poker and the guy looks at his cards again, that means He's going to fold or bluff.
'Cos he's got nothing.
Exactly.
This is my half of the finders fee.
(WHISPERING): Buy your dad a better boat.
Take care, kid.
The jewel and the Vishnu artifacts await the Cambodian authorities.
I think it's gonna be a very fruitful collaboration.
What about Clive? Is he happy for me to keep chasing myths? ED: Now that I've given him the Egg.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're officially ungrounded.
Are you sure it's alright? I thought you said it might be dangerous.
No, it's fine.
They're all good.
Well, get yourself on a plane.
Because you've got a wedding to attend.
Yeah, I can't wait.
- I love you.
- I love you too.
Bye.
Back on board? Clive's number one girl again? No, that'll always be Ella.
But we have license to roam.
So, good.
Was it worth it? Have you ever heard the saying, "When you set up for revenge, dig two graves?" Yes, Confucious.
The man knew what he was talking about.
Actually the correct quotation is, uh, "Before you embark on the journey of revenge" Sorry, I don't know why I do that.
Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
That's another one of his.
Word for word this time.
I'll bear it in mind.
I still owe you a wedding present.
If that cauldron is still bubbling, I can always cook you up some ecstasy.
ALEX: Nothing chemical, thank you.
HOOTEN: Silver spoons from the hotel? ALEX: All stolen? HOOTEN: What about found? Because I just had the greatest idea ever.
Of course it involves a little detour home.
To a lake, in Russia.
- Ah.
- Exactly! HOOTEN: We can find the Egg now! I'm pretty sure I remember where I threw it.
[CAGE THE ELEPHANT: "In one ear".]
Let me buy you a beer.
I think you're going to need it.
They say that we ain't got the style - ALEX: you've got it, haven't you? - Got what? ALEX: The dias half of the map.
Aren't you supposed to be getting married? I don't know why you put out with Edward.
Put your foot down.
I gave it to your partner.
- HOOTEN: She's not my partner! - Edward, this is Hooten.
I've heard a lot about you, Mr.
Hooten.
Funny, she's never mentioned you.
An other generation X who - Are you crazy? - Crazy enough to burn down your bar.
ALEX: You do realise I'm supposed to be getting married? HOOTEN: Good luck, Lady Alexandra.
Now go and marry your knight in shining armor.
What the hell are you doing here? - This isn't fair.
- I've got this.
Still we're all in one piece, it could be worse.
They can kiss the back of my hand ALEX: It could also be better.
[EZRA FURMAN: "Restless Year".]
I set up camp in the center of town Ready for freedom when it all comes down Snapping my fingers, walking around I'm a dusty jewel in the thrown-out crown Got a bus pass to make my way From hideout to hideout in the heat of the day I got a talisman tote with the whole array And when you catch my coat-tails I'll be miles away Transcribed by the Hoody