Jean-Claude Van Damme: Behind Closed Doors (2011) s01e07 Episode Script
Episode 7
(Chanting) Jean Claude! Jean Claude! Jean Claude Van Damme Yah! Martial arts legend Nice kick, huh? Action hero His movies have grossed over $700 million in a career spanning over 25 years.
But now it's time to discover the real man behind the macho image I've got nothing to hide any more.
.
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as he allows cameras total access into his extraordinary world.
Argh! (Laughter) This is an intimate portrait Love you, baby.
.
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of an international movie star as you have never seen him before.
I don't see Sly or Seagal doing that.
We're up close and personal as he bares his soul.
The world is going bad.
Everything is dying around us.
I believe the end is soon.
And gives us an unprecedented look into the mind of a movie legend.
I pray to save the world.
See? God loves me.
I'll talk to you later! Coming up: ? Ha! Ha! Ha! Welcome to the weird and wonderful world of Jean Claude Van Damme.
Look at this guy, he cut me! Did you see that? Did you see that, huh? I'll kill him.
It's not normal, all that stuff I'm doing, like, at the age of 50.
I love you, no? There's frustration on the set of his latest movie.
When I came to America and saw all those babes, it was like a new thing for me.
And regrets about the temptations of Hollywood.
A complete clown.
And I came back and she reopened the door for me.
Thank God I'm back.
Paris, France.
Jean Claude 's in town to film his latest movie.
He 's leaving behind his high-kicking fight scenes and turning his hand to comedy.
This is Jean Claude! - Nice to meet you.
- Can I give you a hug, man, please? I'm so happy to meet you.
He's shooting a cameo role in a French film It's Jean Claude, man! .
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alongside actor Steve Tran .
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and the nation's best-loved stand-up comic, Booder.
ÃÂa va? Very well.
You know, I'm happy today because Jean Claude is here with us.
And we're gonna shoot a movie, it's gonna be great.
As Jean Claude sits down for make-up, the crew are getting ready for the first scene.
His busy schedule has left him no time to learn his lines, so he 's relying on every actor's best friend - the cue card.
You should hide this.
Jean Claude showed me this.
I'm trying to do like Jean Claude but I can't.
I can't do it.
I'm sorry.
Hello.
It's not possible, Jean Claude! What is that? I love you, no? I'm a rock star.
Make-up done, it's time for Jean Claude to get into character.
In the film, he plays a fearsome colonel.
Same here.
He said it's a pleasure to work with me.
I told him, "Same here.
" He's a very big comedian in France.
A very funny guy, very smart.
In this scene, the colonel is on a drill, 40 metres up in a training tower.
His new recruits are rehearsing their first parachute jump.
And the colonel shows them no mercy.
Those guys have to jump.
And they are like, blue, very scared, first time.
"Come on! What are you waiting for, an invitation? " Shit like that.
Booder and his fellow cops are here to interrogate the colonel.
But they're worried they may be next in line for the push.
With the first scene in the can, it's time for a break.
Having Jean Claude is unexpected for us because he's so famous here.
The audience for this film is going to be so surprised by his participation in this film.
BOODER: Come on, Van Damme! And it seems Booder can't hide his delight at working with a Hollywood legend.
For my generation This is Bruce Lee for my generation.
Yes, huh? In the final scene, the colonel discloses some vital information to Booder and his fellow cops.
But there 's a problem.
The cue cards are placed too far back for Jean Claude to read.
The crew soon find a solution.
And Jean Claude 's co-stars are only too happy to lend a helping hand.
It's French dialogue and it's a lot.
The deal was done two or three days ago.
It's very hard to memorise dialogue when you go into a movie for a couple of days only.
You're part of it but you're not part of it.
Saute! Aargh! (Gunshot and laughter) It's a wrap.
Jean Claude Van Damme? I love you, Jean Claude Van Damme! It was amazing.
It will be great, I think.
It was like a dream for us.
Bien, c'est super.
Merci, Jean Claude.
Merci beaucoup.
Thanks, thanks, thanks.
Thank you.
See you later.
Arsenal, Arsenal! That's it, guys.
(Exhales heavily) Time to go eat.
Jean Claude and wife Gladys have homes around the world.
But their penthouse apartment in Vancouver, Canada is a family favourite.
It's 9pm and Jean Claude 's just arrived from the airport.
He 's been away working and hasn 't seen Gladys for almost a month.
- Hi! - Hi, baby.
How are you doing? I'm good, how are you? I'm good.
Let me see you.
- Come on.
- Comedian.
Comedian? So your flight was good? - Very good.
- You had a nice seat? - I took two clonazepam.
- Two? - And then I slept.
- Why did you take two? You don't need two.
You're not eating this.
Let's leave that No, you see what I cooked and you're gonna start eating this crap? Is this clean? This is gonna be hung cos that's good for hanging.
- Baby, I'm happy to be with you, you know.
- I'm happy too.
We're gonna be together for life.
(Toilet flushes) (Electric shaver whirs) Hey, don't put anything on the floor with all your hair! - Ruby cleaned.
- What? I said, Ruby cleaned.
Don't shave over the floor, go over the sink! I'm gonna kill him.
I don't understand you.
I give you one housekeeper and you give them coffee And then? .
.
and then they sit down and you clean for them! - No, I do not! - Yes, you do.
- Who says that? - You can see it.
No.
No, baby, that goes on the floor.
- No, it doesn't go on the floor.
- Yes, I see it.
It's like snow! What do you mean, snow? - No, because I put talc.
- Oh, OK.
You scared me.
People, they shave dry.
So one day I put talc on my face, right? It's all white.
And the guy They thought I was doing, like, half a kilo of coke.
- They said, "Are you OK? " - It's not funny, but - Huh? - It's not funny but it's funny.
My wife, what about her? She's got the best clothes in the world and she never dresses She's got Hermès bag I only dress when I need to.
She's got jewellery and she never puts anything I do when I go out! She has a nice ring, and when I go somewhere, she turns her ring like this and hides it.
Not because she's cheap, like it's too good for her.
"l don't deserve it.
" She's got that type of mentality.
That's how good she is.
And she deserves full rings, all over the place.
That's OK.
Yeah, but you should start to use all your stuff.
Can I show your armoire? Now it's clean and fixed.
- Where's all your nice bags? - Everything's in order and organised.
- All those shoes and everything.
- My bags are here.
Look at all those nice jackets Iook at those boots.
Look at those - boots, boots, boots, boots.
And that's nothing yet.
I take care of my stuff.
And she never puts them on, so we'll never - She's just like me.
- My nice little jewel bags.
Over the years, Gladys has amassed a shoe collection to die for It's insane! .
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not forgetting countless designer handbags.
I've had this 25 years.
25 years.
It's a make-up bag that I fell in love with.
And I haven't even used it.
(Giggles) I'm looking for the dialogue of Kung Fu Panda.
Tomorrow, Jean Claude's recording his part in the animated movie Kung Fu Panda 2.
He's a crocodile.
He's so funny.
Very funny, I can see him speaking.
What time do I have to wake up tomorrow, 6am? - No.
- What time are we leaving? Tomorrow, it's at 1 pm but we have a pick-up at 1 2:1 5.
OK.
So, Master Croc "Shall I unleash my fury upon him? " What's in my voice? Did you see the croc? "Shall I unleash my fury upon him, master? " Did you see the picture of the croc? Yeah.
"Especially from you.
" Should I go my voice "Soon all of China will be begging for mercy.
" That's cool.
The croc with his little feet and you make him spin It's gonna be cool.
And you know what? It's written the way I talk.
I like that.
So Kung Fu Panda is this - What time are they picking up? - 1 2:1 5.
Downstairs, 1 2:1 5.
Jean Claude's in Vancouver to record the voice of Master Croc in Kung Fu Panda 2.
But he's running late.
Come on, let's go.
I'll be like the drill sergeant.
Let's go, cos if not, you'll be late.
One thing you can't afford any more.
Plugs for your eyes.
Come on, move out of the way.
- It's cold on my body.
- No, it's not, it's warm enough.
I preheated it.
Even though he's in a rush, Jean Claude still finds time for a sun bed.
Listen, Mr Primo I don't need this shit.
I hate it.
It may only be a voice recording but he wants to look his best.
Just relax, unwind.
Meditate, meditate, meditate.
And all this for Croc Panda! The sun bed is also a chance for Jean Claude to reach a state of zen, under the watchful eye of 1 8 praying Buddhas.
Hey, we have to go.
It's 1 2:00.
- What time are we leaving? - 1 2:1 5, downstairs.
Here's your Are they stuck? Yeah.
Oh, I feel good.
Just get up slowly and Ruby will clean the bed, don't worry.
Go straight to the bathroom, take a towel and damp yourself off.
That's the best thing to do.
Do you feel better? - Yes.
- It relaxes you a bit? Oh, yes.
You said long sleeve, warm.
That's long sleeve warm and that's to take with us.
The one you want is for the wash and short sleeve.
That's very good.
Limo's here.
- What? - The limo.
He's confirming.
We have time.
- Are you OK, baby? - Very good.
You don't want a heavy jacket? We're just in and out of the car, right? It's not cold outside, I don't think.
Come on, guys, we need the elevator.
Five minutes later, still no lift.
Excuse me, is the elevator blocked? No, it's working.
Jean Claude's inner zen is wavering.
Let's go by staircase.
Let's go by staircase.
Hey.
Hear that shit? I'm not part of it.
For once we're on time, damn it.
JEAN CLAUDE: Relax, we have time.
But time's not on your side when you live on the 41st floor.
Shit happens.
-.
.
fix the steps.
- lmagine if we stuck.
Shut up.
33.
We've got 27 more to go.
This is shit, man.
I put that shirt on and I'm so sweaty.
I've got good news, we're halfway.
This is shit, man.
Can you believe this? Eureka! Elevators are not working.
We waited, like, ten minutes upstairs.
- Are you our driver? - Yes.
- Sorry, we would have been on time.
- That's OK.
- Welcome back.
- Hello.
Enchanté.
Let's go.
With his zen in tatters, Jean Claude heads off to the studio.
Jean Claude's not the only Van Damme making movies.
Everything's fine! His son, 23-year-old aspiring actor, Kris, is in Romania shooting his final scenes for action movie Weapon.
And sister Bianca 's here to lend some support.
Andaction! (Shouting) In this scene, Kris's character, Schell, is choked to death by professional hitman Flint, played by British actor Scott Adkins.
Kris appears alongside his dad in several films, but hopes Weapon will help to establish him as an actor in his own right.
I won't be like my father.
I'll go my own path the best I can.
I won't be doing roundhouses and spinning split-kicks, whatever they were.
Fantastic stuff, but one is one.
There's never two.
Brandon Lee was great but he wasn't Bruce.
Eyes really wide? OK.
And really dig in your hands.
Sure, sure.
It'll help, because then you're controlling what's happening here.
He's not really I wasn't sure if you wanted that.
OK.
That's no problem.
Rehearsal over, they go for a take.
Ready? Andaction! Come back now or I'll shoot him right here! Show yourself, or I swear to God, I'll blow his head off! DlRECTOR: Cut! - Stop.
Time to reset.
The next move involves a potentially dangerous manoeuvre, so a stunt double stands in for Kris.
Three, two, one action! - Cut! - Stop.
With the back flip in the can .
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Kris can step back in for his dying moments.
You should've let me be (Chokes) (Coughs and splutters) Cut.
- Was that all right? - Yeah.
BlANCA: It was funny to see my brother die.
Actually, it was - Sad.
- Yeah.
Sad.
She was crying.
She was cryingsee? Elari put tears in my eyes.
The poor thing was so sad.
Bravo.
Great work, guys.
- Awesome.
- Awesome.
Next.
Lot of fun, you know? I really have to thank my acting coach for giving me the correct construction and teaching me how to dig deeper into myself, and explore my sensitivity to be able to approach roles.
He said something really good to me: "You're being paid to share your emotions with people on the screen.
" So that's a wonderful statement.
In Vancouver, Jean Claude's spent the afternoon recording his part in animation move Kung Fu Panda 2.
It's been a success, and back home, the lift has been fixed.
(Jean Claude sings) ? Ha! Ha! Ha! (Continues singing) (Laughs) That was funny, Kung Fu Panda.
You had fun, you were getting into it at the end of the day.
I thought it was gonna be more difficult and I really enjoyed it.
And I was able to go on different tone voices, right? - Is that how you say it? - Different tones.
Hopefully, they'll work with me again.
It was cool.
They really loved it, I felt.
I don't know.
I think they're going to be happy.
- It's going to be funny, though.
- Yeah? I saw the croc, I saw the eyes.
Bucharest, Romania.
Jean Claude's flown in to film an advert for Gillette's latest internet campaign.
Bonjour.
He plays himself in a spoof ad, set behind the scenes of a big-budget commercial.
He 's brought along personal make-up artist Gino Zamprioli, who 's followed Jean Claude on movie sets all over the world and shares the problems of life on the road.
After so many years of you and I working where's our family life? We didn't have one.
But, look, I am more married sometimes to you than my wife.
We spend three months together.
You go back home maybe for two months maximum.
You make another movie.
Where is your wife? - Home or on the set? - Home.
On location.
Yeah, but she's She's home.
That's my wife.
"Hello, my wife.
How are you, my wife? " She's not in your bed at night, sleeping and making the spoon.
No, it's true.
Where is the spoon? Where's my spoon tonight? Gino, make me look young, eh? And my hair's all grey.
Gillette employs huge stars, such as Thierry Henry and David Beckham.
So Jean Claude needs to look his best.
Look at this.
Look at this.
Look at this.
Fat pig.
(Grunts like a pig) I've got more hair in my nose than on my head.
And the thing here? For Jean Claude, it's another day, another set, and another script.
And once again, his heavy workload has left him no time to prepare.
I didn't learn my dialogue, man.
Too lazy.
You know me.
I mean, it's not that.
Too busy in Belgium, travelling.
(Sighs) With heavy French dialogue in each scene, Jean Claude's back to his old tricks with the cue cards.
And the director comes up with an inventive way to film around them.
Andaction.
- Action.
- Thank you.
The director gives the thumbs up but Jean Claude 's not happy with his delivery.
(Speaks French) And he's feeling increasingly uneasy in front of the crew.
Thank you.
Sorry.
Don't worry.
With the set cleared, Jean Claude carries on.
Action.
Sometimes I feel shyand complex, in the sense of, I have a complex.
In the sense that, "OK, I've got this camera on me.
" So when I talk, I feel like mumbling my words.
Ah, mamma mia, mamma mia.
There's some, call them movie stars, that like to .
.
just to be exposed, like I was years ago.
Today, I like to hide But I want to do this TV show to share with the audience something special, something more huge.
Without them, without the audience, what would I be today, in a sense? Really, you know.
For the next scene, Jean Claude must record a telephone conversation.
And the crew continue to keep a distance from their leading man.
That's the one.
OK, c'est bon.
(Applause) Yeah, thank you for my French.
I have to go back to school.
Suddenly, Jean Claude spots some crew members with additional cameras.
He 's worried footage of his earlier stumbles may be leaked onto the internet.
(Speaks French) You speak French? (Speaks French) You know I don't speak because in America, I speak so good, no problem.
So when I was trying to speak French It would take me a few Of course, you're filming.
But cut that off.
- You promise? - No, we'll not You can show the good one.
But (Stutters) Please.
Anyway, you're shot on camera.
Now we have your face.
(Laughter) I know, I know.
No, but sometimes we have shot on the set, the next day I'm on YouTube, like this.
That's not the case here.
Wrap, wrap, wrap.
(Applause) I really enjoy to work with him.
He's a good guy.
And I hope he enjoys to work with me.
He will tell you, maybe.
No, that was a very good day.
He may be finished for the day, but Jean Claude can never make a quick getaway.
- OK.
- Thank you very much.
Thank you so much.
- Thank you very much.
- My pleasure.
Is the car there? (Giggles) Jean Claude's on a break from filming.
He's hitting the shops with scriptwriter Sheldon.
We're in a typical Romanian shopping mall.
This is what shopping malls look like in Romania.
And friend Max.
I want people to know, I hate to shop.
I go in, I shop Look at the way I'm dressing.
I hate to dress, I hate to shop.
They have unbelievably beautiful woman in Romania.
They are so skinny and they have long legs.
- Wow! That's nice.
- Beautiful legs, huh? Hold on.
Ready? - That's good, just one.
- Nice recovery.
This is fun, walking around through the mall.
This is a smaller one but they have baggage.
Jean Claude needs a suitcase.
But he'd rather be anywhere than in a shopping mall.
Look, you've got nice big ones here.
That's how much in euro? Two hundred and.
No, 300, sorry.
OK, I'll buy these two right away.
How long will it take you to do all this? - Five minutes.
- Oh, good.
Because I go very fast.
- Can you explain how to use this? - Sure, one second.
Do me a favour, lady, don't explain.
I just want to go.
- Oh, OK.
- Leave all the papers and everything.
You have the warranty.
You don't want me to take care of the warranty? - No.
- It won't take long.
How long? You have ten years' warranty, OK? How long does it take for the paper, you just cut and leave inside? Just a second.
It doesn't take I have to put a stamp and the date.
He may be an impatient customer, but when it comes to his fans, he has all the time in the world.
You have a camera? Let's do it.
Sheldon, check, check.
Step back.
Whoa.
- Do you have enough light? - I think it's OK.
- Ready? - You're very aware of that lighting, aren't you? I'm aware.
(Clicks tongue) I've got it but they see the hat.
Yeah.
Now you're looking like a movie star.
OK, here we go.
You know what? I took the picture.
- Accidentally.
- I wasn't too much in the shadow for the face? No, it wasn't.
- No, you were actually - It's nice.
- Good.
- You were in the light.
I look bigger on the screen than in real life.
Bye-bye, girls.
Thank you.
Back at the hotel, it's the cleaners who are next in line for some special treatment.
Good.
Autograph? (Speaks Romanian) Come.
Shh, shh! Without them, I'm nothing.
Those people are giving me what I have today and the travelling and everything.
Very young, there.
Very young.
This is very young there.
These people, they only see me once in their life.
If I refuse an autograph, they're gonna go, "What an arsehole.
He's a bad person.
" OK, madam.
OK.
One, two, three.
Bye-bye.
Thank you.
To the outside world, he's a Hollywood action hero.
But behind the hard man image, he's deeply troubled by his fears for the environment.
The population is growing.
(Water splashing) That's very bad, because .
.
we are eating .
.
we are eating the planet.
We are consuming the planet.
We are (Bleep).
.
up the planet.
The world is going bad, let's face it.
Everything is dying around us.
All the food All the farm food The population is growing and growing, the pollution is going up, everything is melting.
No, guys, it's a very big thing.
I believe the end's soon.
I don't know.
It's (Bleep) up, man.
Those animals are dying.
(Sighs) All those trees and forests and the oxygen.
It's not good, man.
It's bad.
I can, like Maybe I'm tired, because I felt It's just no good.
It's not Having finished filming in Europe, Jean Claude and Kris are on a flying visit to Belgium.
Where do I go here, Kris? OK, up here.
Look at this guy, he cut me! Did you see that? Did you see that, huh? Huh? Henri, Henri, Henri.
Whenever Jean Claude is in his home town, he's drawn back to the church where he prayed as a child.
It's here he had his epiphany, where he spoke to God about becoming a movie star and saving the planet.
So I was here at night.
(Bell chimes) Every time I come here You hear that ring? Every time I come and I land herebong.
You heard it? And it's not bullshit.
It's like, I came here six times before I left for America, and every time I come, if it's like at night, day What time? I didn't know it was six o'clock, OK? I didn't know.
What time is it in Belgium? But every time I come, you heard that bong? It's a welcoming.
He exists.
I didn't come on purpose just to be You were my witness, the audience is my witness.
People who don't believe in God, it's OK.
But you have to believe in something very powerful.
We're here for something.
You cannot have such a blue sky and those detailed leaves and those trees and bees and oceans and fish and dogs and animals and my son and love It doesn't exist just like that.
It has a power above.
So when I'm here again, you heard the bong? (Music on car radio) Try that.
That's no good.
Why not? (Music increases in volume) (Electronic beats) Their stopover in Belgium is a rare chance to spend some time together and enjoy the high life.
This evening they've come to one of Brussels' top night clubs.
T oday's Sunday.
Normally everything is dead on Sunday, so we'll see.
Hey, Kris, come with me.
With Jean Claude's superstar status comes VlP treatment.
And word soon gets out that Belgium's national hero is in the house.
As usual, it's Dad who gets all the attention.
After 30 years in the spotlight, Jean Claude knows how to handle the never-ending stream of fans.
(Pounding electro beat) Time for Jean Claude to hit the dance floor.
Finally, they call it a night.
It was fun, spending time with Dad and friends.
Good friends, good people.
Not just the bullshit.
Belgium, it's the Muscle from Brussels.
- OK, guys, bye.
- It was a good night, a great night.
Jean Claude's back in Vancouver.
He's taking a break from his demanding schedule to spend quality time with wife Gladys.
My fat arse.
You don't have a fat arse, you have a nice arse.
No, your wife's is fat.
- Some guys like big arse.
- Shut up! And I love big arse.
- You're not fat, you have a nice arse.
- You have a little spinach face.
I wish, for every woman to have an arse like you at the age of 50.
- Three.
- Don't say 53, you're 49.
- Jealous! - I am jealous of you.
Aspiring actor Kristopher's also in town, with his long-term girlfriend, Elari.
They're planning a future together.
But Jean Claude wants to warn them of the pressures on relationships in Hollywood.
During his career, he lived the rock and roll lifestyle and understands how easy it is to succumb to temptation.
Both Gladys and Jean Claude are determined son Kristopher shouldn 't make the same mistakes.
I've known Dad for 25 years.
Even though sometimes shit happens, Hollywood life, Kristopher, as you know, you're leading into that side And you're going to do very well.
My thing is Listen.
Do not, please, get caught up with Hollywood life, Kristopher.
I came from Belgium.
I was the age ofwhat, 20, 1 9? GLADYS: Something like that.
I didn't date any girls in Belgium.
So when I came to America and I saw all those babes, those playmates, Playboy girls I'd never touched them and I saw all those toys coming in front of me.
Actresses, models - it was like a new thing for me.
And then I was lost.
That's it, he's gone, goodbye.
Long hair, suit Long hair in Cannes and all that.
Gianni Versace shirt - a clown.
A complete clown.
And I came back and she reopened the door for me.
But thank God I'm back.
You love me, baby? - You love me? - I love you very much.
One to ten, how much, how much? - Ten plus, always have.
- OK, good.
He has seen the sadness.
He has seen the drugs and everything.
He's scared and he doesn't want to do that.
But never say never, as you say.
Temptation is one of the toughest things to really, really, really understand that you cannot allow in your system.
You cannot allow temptation.
Whether it's a piece of chocolate or a woman that looks freaking gorgeous, and you think, "Just one night, they'll never find out" Do not, please, get caught up and get wrapped up with egoism.
And don't get caught up with the lifestyle of friends, saying, "Oh, let's go to the party" Don't get caught up with Hollywood life, Kristopher.
You'll run in the same line, in the same boat and it can happen.
- I'm so scared.
- Both of you.
- Don't be scared.
- Relax, everything's fine.
I'm just telling you the consequences of your job.
There's a 90% chance that you are going to fall down.
- Guaranteed to fall.
- Jokes aside - It's so scary.
- No, chill, relax.
Don't cry.
Come on, I'm not even anybody yet.
I'm nobody now.
All of them fall down.
I want to cry, because it's normal.
GLADYS: It's a sensitive issue for you.
That's OK, it's all good.
OK.
It's dangerous.
The two of you have to learn from experience here.
And all we can give you is really valid advice.
It's up to you and all we can do is cross our fingers.
But it's up to you guys to hold your fort.
The thing is, right now we're completely in love.
It's been an emotional conversation.
But Jean Claude knows how to lift the mood.
Agh! It's horrible to watch that! It's horrible! It's just diseased.
It's diseased! I'm up and down, guys, you know.
I'm such aweird motherf It's just weird, you know.
It's not normal, all that stuff I'm doing, like, at the age of 50.
It's not normal.
People, they're gonna hate me.
I'm like that with my friends.
I don't mean it, just like fun stuff.
I see everything like a cartoon.
Like my son.
I saw life like a cartoon.
I see people and compare them to cartoons and characters in this and that.
Very strange, very strange.
(Chair squeaks) ⣠morlapin â£
But now it's time to discover the real man behind the macho image I've got nothing to hide any more.
.
.
as he allows cameras total access into his extraordinary world.
Argh! (Laughter) This is an intimate portrait Love you, baby.
.
.
of an international movie star as you have never seen him before.
I don't see Sly or Seagal doing that.
We're up close and personal as he bares his soul.
The world is going bad.
Everything is dying around us.
I believe the end is soon.
And gives us an unprecedented look into the mind of a movie legend.
I pray to save the world.
See? God loves me.
I'll talk to you later! Coming up: ? Ha! Ha! Ha! Welcome to the weird and wonderful world of Jean Claude Van Damme.
Look at this guy, he cut me! Did you see that? Did you see that, huh? I'll kill him.
It's not normal, all that stuff I'm doing, like, at the age of 50.
I love you, no? There's frustration on the set of his latest movie.
When I came to America and saw all those babes, it was like a new thing for me.
And regrets about the temptations of Hollywood.
A complete clown.
And I came back and she reopened the door for me.
Thank God I'm back.
Paris, France.
Jean Claude 's in town to film his latest movie.
He 's leaving behind his high-kicking fight scenes and turning his hand to comedy.
This is Jean Claude! - Nice to meet you.
- Can I give you a hug, man, please? I'm so happy to meet you.
He's shooting a cameo role in a French film It's Jean Claude, man! .
.
alongside actor Steve Tran .
.
and the nation's best-loved stand-up comic, Booder.
ÃÂa va? Very well.
You know, I'm happy today because Jean Claude is here with us.
And we're gonna shoot a movie, it's gonna be great.
As Jean Claude sits down for make-up, the crew are getting ready for the first scene.
His busy schedule has left him no time to learn his lines, so he 's relying on every actor's best friend - the cue card.
You should hide this.
Jean Claude showed me this.
I'm trying to do like Jean Claude but I can't.
I can't do it.
I'm sorry.
Hello.
It's not possible, Jean Claude! What is that? I love you, no? I'm a rock star.
Make-up done, it's time for Jean Claude to get into character.
In the film, he plays a fearsome colonel.
Same here.
He said it's a pleasure to work with me.
I told him, "Same here.
" He's a very big comedian in France.
A very funny guy, very smart.
In this scene, the colonel is on a drill, 40 metres up in a training tower.
His new recruits are rehearsing their first parachute jump.
And the colonel shows them no mercy.
Those guys have to jump.
And they are like, blue, very scared, first time.
"Come on! What are you waiting for, an invitation? " Shit like that.
Booder and his fellow cops are here to interrogate the colonel.
But they're worried they may be next in line for the push.
With the first scene in the can, it's time for a break.
Having Jean Claude is unexpected for us because he's so famous here.
The audience for this film is going to be so surprised by his participation in this film.
BOODER: Come on, Van Damme! And it seems Booder can't hide his delight at working with a Hollywood legend.
For my generation This is Bruce Lee for my generation.
Yes, huh? In the final scene, the colonel discloses some vital information to Booder and his fellow cops.
But there 's a problem.
The cue cards are placed too far back for Jean Claude to read.
The crew soon find a solution.
And Jean Claude 's co-stars are only too happy to lend a helping hand.
It's French dialogue and it's a lot.
The deal was done two or three days ago.
It's very hard to memorise dialogue when you go into a movie for a couple of days only.
You're part of it but you're not part of it.
Saute! Aargh! (Gunshot and laughter) It's a wrap.
Jean Claude Van Damme? I love you, Jean Claude Van Damme! It was amazing.
It will be great, I think.
It was like a dream for us.
Bien, c'est super.
Merci, Jean Claude.
Merci beaucoup.
Thanks, thanks, thanks.
Thank you.
See you later.
Arsenal, Arsenal! That's it, guys.
(Exhales heavily) Time to go eat.
Jean Claude and wife Gladys have homes around the world.
But their penthouse apartment in Vancouver, Canada is a family favourite.
It's 9pm and Jean Claude 's just arrived from the airport.
He 's been away working and hasn 't seen Gladys for almost a month.
- Hi! - Hi, baby.
How are you doing? I'm good, how are you? I'm good.
Let me see you.
- Come on.
- Comedian.
Comedian? So your flight was good? - Very good.
- You had a nice seat? - I took two clonazepam.
- Two? - And then I slept.
- Why did you take two? You don't need two.
You're not eating this.
Let's leave that No, you see what I cooked and you're gonna start eating this crap? Is this clean? This is gonna be hung cos that's good for hanging.
- Baby, I'm happy to be with you, you know.
- I'm happy too.
We're gonna be together for life.
(Toilet flushes) (Electric shaver whirs) Hey, don't put anything on the floor with all your hair! - Ruby cleaned.
- What? I said, Ruby cleaned.
Don't shave over the floor, go over the sink! I'm gonna kill him.
I don't understand you.
I give you one housekeeper and you give them coffee And then? .
.
and then they sit down and you clean for them! - No, I do not! - Yes, you do.
- Who says that? - You can see it.
No.
No, baby, that goes on the floor.
- No, it doesn't go on the floor.
- Yes, I see it.
It's like snow! What do you mean, snow? - No, because I put talc.
- Oh, OK.
You scared me.
People, they shave dry.
So one day I put talc on my face, right? It's all white.
And the guy They thought I was doing, like, half a kilo of coke.
- They said, "Are you OK? " - It's not funny, but - Huh? - It's not funny but it's funny.
My wife, what about her? She's got the best clothes in the world and she never dresses She's got Hermès bag I only dress when I need to.
She's got jewellery and she never puts anything I do when I go out! She has a nice ring, and when I go somewhere, she turns her ring like this and hides it.
Not because she's cheap, like it's too good for her.
"l don't deserve it.
" She's got that type of mentality.
That's how good she is.
And she deserves full rings, all over the place.
That's OK.
Yeah, but you should start to use all your stuff.
Can I show your armoire? Now it's clean and fixed.
- Where's all your nice bags? - Everything's in order and organised.
- All those shoes and everything.
- My bags are here.
Look at all those nice jackets Iook at those boots.
Look at those - boots, boots, boots, boots.
And that's nothing yet.
I take care of my stuff.
And she never puts them on, so we'll never - She's just like me.
- My nice little jewel bags.
Over the years, Gladys has amassed a shoe collection to die for It's insane! .
.
not forgetting countless designer handbags.
I've had this 25 years.
25 years.
It's a make-up bag that I fell in love with.
And I haven't even used it.
(Giggles) I'm looking for the dialogue of Kung Fu Panda.
Tomorrow, Jean Claude's recording his part in the animated movie Kung Fu Panda 2.
He's a crocodile.
He's so funny.
Very funny, I can see him speaking.
What time do I have to wake up tomorrow, 6am? - No.
- What time are we leaving? Tomorrow, it's at 1 pm but we have a pick-up at 1 2:1 5.
OK.
So, Master Croc "Shall I unleash my fury upon him? " What's in my voice? Did you see the croc? "Shall I unleash my fury upon him, master? " Did you see the picture of the croc? Yeah.
"Especially from you.
" Should I go my voice "Soon all of China will be begging for mercy.
" That's cool.
The croc with his little feet and you make him spin It's gonna be cool.
And you know what? It's written the way I talk.
I like that.
So Kung Fu Panda is this - What time are they picking up? - 1 2:1 5.
Downstairs, 1 2:1 5.
Jean Claude's in Vancouver to record the voice of Master Croc in Kung Fu Panda 2.
But he's running late.
Come on, let's go.
I'll be like the drill sergeant.
Let's go, cos if not, you'll be late.
One thing you can't afford any more.
Plugs for your eyes.
Come on, move out of the way.
- It's cold on my body.
- No, it's not, it's warm enough.
I preheated it.
Even though he's in a rush, Jean Claude still finds time for a sun bed.
Listen, Mr Primo I don't need this shit.
I hate it.
It may only be a voice recording but he wants to look his best.
Just relax, unwind.
Meditate, meditate, meditate.
And all this for Croc Panda! The sun bed is also a chance for Jean Claude to reach a state of zen, under the watchful eye of 1 8 praying Buddhas.
Hey, we have to go.
It's 1 2:00.
- What time are we leaving? - 1 2:1 5, downstairs.
Here's your Are they stuck? Yeah.
Oh, I feel good.
Just get up slowly and Ruby will clean the bed, don't worry.
Go straight to the bathroom, take a towel and damp yourself off.
That's the best thing to do.
Do you feel better? - Yes.
- It relaxes you a bit? Oh, yes.
You said long sleeve, warm.
That's long sleeve warm and that's to take with us.
The one you want is for the wash and short sleeve.
That's very good.
Limo's here.
- What? - The limo.
He's confirming.
We have time.
- Are you OK, baby? - Very good.
You don't want a heavy jacket? We're just in and out of the car, right? It's not cold outside, I don't think.
Come on, guys, we need the elevator.
Five minutes later, still no lift.
Excuse me, is the elevator blocked? No, it's working.
Jean Claude's inner zen is wavering.
Let's go by staircase.
Let's go by staircase.
Hey.
Hear that shit? I'm not part of it.
For once we're on time, damn it.
JEAN CLAUDE: Relax, we have time.
But time's not on your side when you live on the 41st floor.
Shit happens.
-.
.
fix the steps.
- lmagine if we stuck.
Shut up.
33.
We've got 27 more to go.
This is shit, man.
I put that shirt on and I'm so sweaty.
I've got good news, we're halfway.
This is shit, man.
Can you believe this? Eureka! Elevators are not working.
We waited, like, ten minutes upstairs.
- Are you our driver? - Yes.
- Sorry, we would have been on time.
- That's OK.
- Welcome back.
- Hello.
Enchanté.
Let's go.
With his zen in tatters, Jean Claude heads off to the studio.
Jean Claude's not the only Van Damme making movies.
Everything's fine! His son, 23-year-old aspiring actor, Kris, is in Romania shooting his final scenes for action movie Weapon.
And sister Bianca 's here to lend some support.
Andaction! (Shouting) In this scene, Kris's character, Schell, is choked to death by professional hitman Flint, played by British actor Scott Adkins.
Kris appears alongside his dad in several films, but hopes Weapon will help to establish him as an actor in his own right.
I won't be like my father.
I'll go my own path the best I can.
I won't be doing roundhouses and spinning split-kicks, whatever they were.
Fantastic stuff, but one is one.
There's never two.
Brandon Lee was great but he wasn't Bruce.
Eyes really wide? OK.
And really dig in your hands.
Sure, sure.
It'll help, because then you're controlling what's happening here.
He's not really I wasn't sure if you wanted that.
OK.
That's no problem.
Rehearsal over, they go for a take.
Ready? Andaction! Come back now or I'll shoot him right here! Show yourself, or I swear to God, I'll blow his head off! DlRECTOR: Cut! - Stop.
Time to reset.
The next move involves a potentially dangerous manoeuvre, so a stunt double stands in for Kris.
Three, two, one action! - Cut! - Stop.
With the back flip in the can .
.
Kris can step back in for his dying moments.
You should've let me be (Chokes) (Coughs and splutters) Cut.
- Was that all right? - Yeah.
BlANCA: It was funny to see my brother die.
Actually, it was - Sad.
- Yeah.
Sad.
She was crying.
She was cryingsee? Elari put tears in my eyes.
The poor thing was so sad.
Bravo.
Great work, guys.
- Awesome.
- Awesome.
Next.
Lot of fun, you know? I really have to thank my acting coach for giving me the correct construction and teaching me how to dig deeper into myself, and explore my sensitivity to be able to approach roles.
He said something really good to me: "You're being paid to share your emotions with people on the screen.
" So that's a wonderful statement.
In Vancouver, Jean Claude's spent the afternoon recording his part in animation move Kung Fu Panda 2.
It's been a success, and back home, the lift has been fixed.
(Jean Claude sings) ? Ha! Ha! Ha! (Continues singing) (Laughs) That was funny, Kung Fu Panda.
You had fun, you were getting into it at the end of the day.
I thought it was gonna be more difficult and I really enjoyed it.
And I was able to go on different tone voices, right? - Is that how you say it? - Different tones.
Hopefully, they'll work with me again.
It was cool.
They really loved it, I felt.
I don't know.
I think they're going to be happy.
- It's going to be funny, though.
- Yeah? I saw the croc, I saw the eyes.
Bucharest, Romania.
Jean Claude's flown in to film an advert for Gillette's latest internet campaign.
Bonjour.
He plays himself in a spoof ad, set behind the scenes of a big-budget commercial.
He 's brought along personal make-up artist Gino Zamprioli, who 's followed Jean Claude on movie sets all over the world and shares the problems of life on the road.
After so many years of you and I working where's our family life? We didn't have one.
But, look, I am more married sometimes to you than my wife.
We spend three months together.
You go back home maybe for two months maximum.
You make another movie.
Where is your wife? - Home or on the set? - Home.
On location.
Yeah, but she's She's home.
That's my wife.
"Hello, my wife.
How are you, my wife? " She's not in your bed at night, sleeping and making the spoon.
No, it's true.
Where is the spoon? Where's my spoon tonight? Gino, make me look young, eh? And my hair's all grey.
Gillette employs huge stars, such as Thierry Henry and David Beckham.
So Jean Claude needs to look his best.
Look at this.
Look at this.
Look at this.
Fat pig.
(Grunts like a pig) I've got more hair in my nose than on my head.
And the thing here? For Jean Claude, it's another day, another set, and another script.
And once again, his heavy workload has left him no time to prepare.
I didn't learn my dialogue, man.
Too lazy.
You know me.
I mean, it's not that.
Too busy in Belgium, travelling.
(Sighs) With heavy French dialogue in each scene, Jean Claude's back to his old tricks with the cue cards.
And the director comes up with an inventive way to film around them.
Andaction.
- Action.
- Thank you.
The director gives the thumbs up but Jean Claude 's not happy with his delivery.
(Speaks French) And he's feeling increasingly uneasy in front of the crew.
Thank you.
Sorry.
Don't worry.
With the set cleared, Jean Claude carries on.
Action.
Sometimes I feel shyand complex, in the sense of, I have a complex.
In the sense that, "OK, I've got this camera on me.
" So when I talk, I feel like mumbling my words.
Ah, mamma mia, mamma mia.
There's some, call them movie stars, that like to .
.
just to be exposed, like I was years ago.
Today, I like to hide But I want to do this TV show to share with the audience something special, something more huge.
Without them, without the audience, what would I be today, in a sense? Really, you know.
For the next scene, Jean Claude must record a telephone conversation.
And the crew continue to keep a distance from their leading man.
That's the one.
OK, c'est bon.
(Applause) Yeah, thank you for my French.
I have to go back to school.
Suddenly, Jean Claude spots some crew members with additional cameras.
He 's worried footage of his earlier stumbles may be leaked onto the internet.
(Speaks French) You speak French? (Speaks French) You know I don't speak because in America, I speak so good, no problem.
So when I was trying to speak French It would take me a few Of course, you're filming.
But cut that off.
- You promise? - No, we'll not You can show the good one.
But (Stutters) Please.
Anyway, you're shot on camera.
Now we have your face.
(Laughter) I know, I know.
No, but sometimes we have shot on the set, the next day I'm on YouTube, like this.
That's not the case here.
Wrap, wrap, wrap.
(Applause) I really enjoy to work with him.
He's a good guy.
And I hope he enjoys to work with me.
He will tell you, maybe.
No, that was a very good day.
He may be finished for the day, but Jean Claude can never make a quick getaway.
- OK.
- Thank you very much.
Thank you so much.
- Thank you very much.
- My pleasure.
Is the car there? (Giggles) Jean Claude's on a break from filming.
He's hitting the shops with scriptwriter Sheldon.
We're in a typical Romanian shopping mall.
This is what shopping malls look like in Romania.
And friend Max.
I want people to know, I hate to shop.
I go in, I shop Look at the way I'm dressing.
I hate to dress, I hate to shop.
They have unbelievably beautiful woman in Romania.
They are so skinny and they have long legs.
- Wow! That's nice.
- Beautiful legs, huh? Hold on.
Ready? - That's good, just one.
- Nice recovery.
This is fun, walking around through the mall.
This is a smaller one but they have baggage.
Jean Claude needs a suitcase.
But he'd rather be anywhere than in a shopping mall.
Look, you've got nice big ones here.
That's how much in euro? Two hundred and.
No, 300, sorry.
OK, I'll buy these two right away.
How long will it take you to do all this? - Five minutes.
- Oh, good.
Because I go very fast.
- Can you explain how to use this? - Sure, one second.
Do me a favour, lady, don't explain.
I just want to go.
- Oh, OK.
- Leave all the papers and everything.
You have the warranty.
You don't want me to take care of the warranty? - No.
- It won't take long.
How long? You have ten years' warranty, OK? How long does it take for the paper, you just cut and leave inside? Just a second.
It doesn't take I have to put a stamp and the date.
He may be an impatient customer, but when it comes to his fans, he has all the time in the world.
You have a camera? Let's do it.
Sheldon, check, check.
Step back.
Whoa.
- Do you have enough light? - I think it's OK.
- Ready? - You're very aware of that lighting, aren't you? I'm aware.
(Clicks tongue) I've got it but they see the hat.
Yeah.
Now you're looking like a movie star.
OK, here we go.
You know what? I took the picture.
- Accidentally.
- I wasn't too much in the shadow for the face? No, it wasn't.
- No, you were actually - It's nice.
- Good.
- You were in the light.
I look bigger on the screen than in real life.
Bye-bye, girls.
Thank you.
Back at the hotel, it's the cleaners who are next in line for some special treatment.
Good.
Autograph? (Speaks Romanian) Come.
Shh, shh! Without them, I'm nothing.
Those people are giving me what I have today and the travelling and everything.
Very young, there.
Very young.
This is very young there.
These people, they only see me once in their life.
If I refuse an autograph, they're gonna go, "What an arsehole.
He's a bad person.
" OK, madam.
OK.
One, two, three.
Bye-bye.
Thank you.
To the outside world, he's a Hollywood action hero.
But behind the hard man image, he's deeply troubled by his fears for the environment.
The population is growing.
(Water splashing) That's very bad, because .
.
we are eating .
.
we are eating the planet.
We are consuming the planet.
We are (Bleep).
.
up the planet.
The world is going bad, let's face it.
Everything is dying around us.
All the food All the farm food The population is growing and growing, the pollution is going up, everything is melting.
No, guys, it's a very big thing.
I believe the end's soon.
I don't know.
It's (Bleep) up, man.
Those animals are dying.
(Sighs) All those trees and forests and the oxygen.
It's not good, man.
It's bad.
I can, like Maybe I'm tired, because I felt It's just no good.
It's not Having finished filming in Europe, Jean Claude and Kris are on a flying visit to Belgium.
Where do I go here, Kris? OK, up here.
Look at this guy, he cut me! Did you see that? Did you see that, huh? Huh? Henri, Henri, Henri.
Whenever Jean Claude is in his home town, he's drawn back to the church where he prayed as a child.
It's here he had his epiphany, where he spoke to God about becoming a movie star and saving the planet.
So I was here at night.
(Bell chimes) Every time I come here You hear that ring? Every time I come and I land herebong.
You heard it? And it's not bullshit.
It's like, I came here six times before I left for America, and every time I come, if it's like at night, day What time? I didn't know it was six o'clock, OK? I didn't know.
What time is it in Belgium? But every time I come, you heard that bong? It's a welcoming.
He exists.
I didn't come on purpose just to be You were my witness, the audience is my witness.
People who don't believe in God, it's OK.
But you have to believe in something very powerful.
We're here for something.
You cannot have such a blue sky and those detailed leaves and those trees and bees and oceans and fish and dogs and animals and my son and love It doesn't exist just like that.
It has a power above.
So when I'm here again, you heard the bong? (Music on car radio) Try that.
That's no good.
Why not? (Music increases in volume) (Electronic beats) Their stopover in Belgium is a rare chance to spend some time together and enjoy the high life.
This evening they've come to one of Brussels' top night clubs.
T oday's Sunday.
Normally everything is dead on Sunday, so we'll see.
Hey, Kris, come with me.
With Jean Claude's superstar status comes VlP treatment.
And word soon gets out that Belgium's national hero is in the house.
As usual, it's Dad who gets all the attention.
After 30 years in the spotlight, Jean Claude knows how to handle the never-ending stream of fans.
(Pounding electro beat) Time for Jean Claude to hit the dance floor.
Finally, they call it a night.
It was fun, spending time with Dad and friends.
Good friends, good people.
Not just the bullshit.
Belgium, it's the Muscle from Brussels.
- OK, guys, bye.
- It was a good night, a great night.
Jean Claude's back in Vancouver.
He's taking a break from his demanding schedule to spend quality time with wife Gladys.
My fat arse.
You don't have a fat arse, you have a nice arse.
No, your wife's is fat.
- Some guys like big arse.
- Shut up! And I love big arse.
- You're not fat, you have a nice arse.
- You have a little spinach face.
I wish, for every woman to have an arse like you at the age of 50.
- Three.
- Don't say 53, you're 49.
- Jealous! - I am jealous of you.
Aspiring actor Kristopher's also in town, with his long-term girlfriend, Elari.
They're planning a future together.
But Jean Claude wants to warn them of the pressures on relationships in Hollywood.
During his career, he lived the rock and roll lifestyle and understands how easy it is to succumb to temptation.
Both Gladys and Jean Claude are determined son Kristopher shouldn 't make the same mistakes.
I've known Dad for 25 years.
Even though sometimes shit happens, Hollywood life, Kristopher, as you know, you're leading into that side And you're going to do very well.
My thing is Listen.
Do not, please, get caught up with Hollywood life, Kristopher.
I came from Belgium.
I was the age ofwhat, 20, 1 9? GLADYS: Something like that.
I didn't date any girls in Belgium.
So when I came to America and I saw all those babes, those playmates, Playboy girls I'd never touched them and I saw all those toys coming in front of me.
Actresses, models - it was like a new thing for me.
And then I was lost.
That's it, he's gone, goodbye.
Long hair, suit Long hair in Cannes and all that.
Gianni Versace shirt - a clown.
A complete clown.
And I came back and she reopened the door for me.
But thank God I'm back.
You love me, baby? - You love me? - I love you very much.
One to ten, how much, how much? - Ten plus, always have.
- OK, good.
He has seen the sadness.
He has seen the drugs and everything.
He's scared and he doesn't want to do that.
But never say never, as you say.
Temptation is one of the toughest things to really, really, really understand that you cannot allow in your system.
You cannot allow temptation.
Whether it's a piece of chocolate or a woman that looks freaking gorgeous, and you think, "Just one night, they'll never find out" Do not, please, get caught up and get wrapped up with egoism.
And don't get caught up with the lifestyle of friends, saying, "Oh, let's go to the party" Don't get caught up with Hollywood life, Kristopher.
You'll run in the same line, in the same boat and it can happen.
- I'm so scared.
- Both of you.
- Don't be scared.
- Relax, everything's fine.
I'm just telling you the consequences of your job.
There's a 90% chance that you are going to fall down.
- Guaranteed to fall.
- Jokes aside - It's so scary.
- No, chill, relax.
Don't cry.
Come on, I'm not even anybody yet.
I'm nobody now.
All of them fall down.
I want to cry, because it's normal.
GLADYS: It's a sensitive issue for you.
That's OK, it's all good.
OK.
It's dangerous.
The two of you have to learn from experience here.
And all we can give you is really valid advice.
It's up to you and all we can do is cross our fingers.
But it's up to you guys to hold your fort.
The thing is, right now we're completely in love.
It's been an emotional conversation.
But Jean Claude knows how to lift the mood.
Agh! It's horrible to watch that! It's horrible! It's just diseased.
It's diseased! I'm up and down, guys, you know.
I'm such aweird motherf It's just weird, you know.
It's not normal, all that stuff I'm doing, like, at the age of 50.
It's not normal.
People, they're gonna hate me.
I'm like that with my friends.
I don't mean it, just like fun stuff.
I see everything like a cartoon.
Like my son.
I saw life like a cartoon.
I see people and compare them to cartoons and characters in this and that.
Very strange, very strange.
(Chair squeaks) ⣠morlapin â£