Just Good Friends (1983) s01e07 Episode Script

1 What would you say If I told you things had never changed and We'll find a way To take our dreams and rearrange them? Who would believe That we could be in love again? So let's just pretend That you and me can be Just good friends (RADIO) It will be sunny and bright with a cool easterly breeze, 'maximum temperature reaching 25' Hello, Pen.
Someone has added a flight of stairs since I was here last.
Must have been all that banging I heard last night.
- Shall I leave the cases here? - Bring 'em through.
Don't be embarrassed.
- They weigh a ton each.
- You should have got ones with wheels.
Fine.
I'll bear that in mind next time we decide to live together.
We've been living together now for nine seconds and already the magic's gone.
Let me carry them to the bedroom for you.
Oh, dear! You make it look so easy.
That's because I'm very hunky.
- I'll just use the phone.
- Up the stairs, first Sorry, I thought you said "the throne".
- Hello, Mummy.
- Who is it? What do you mean, "who is it"? I'm an only child.
I told you this morning.
I've disowned you.
And you told me to phone you when I got here to let you know I'd arrived safely.
'Mummy, we have discussed it.
Why can't you accept that I'm living here now?' What am I to tell the neighbours? - 'Tell them I'm living here now.
' - I'd die.
If the truth is too embarrassing, tell them the gypsies took me.
Don't be so bloody silly, Penny! If anybody asks me, I'll say you've joined the Moonies.
- Good.
- Your mother? - I thought the room had gone cold.
- Ssh! In case it had escaped your memory, this person you have chosen to live in sin with is the one who, five years ago, jilted you on your wedding day! I remember it all so vividly - the anger and the tears.
And of course, you were upset too.
I don't blame you with the choir singing the second verse of "Love Everlasting".
It would've been more appropriate to sing "So Long, It's Been Good To Know You"! I've tried to explain to you time and again, he's different now.
Penny, he just twists you round his little finger.
In the past maybe.
But nowadays, I think for myself.
I've come to realise that five years ago, Vincent lacked the emotional maturity to accept a commitment that deep.
'You're just making it up.
' No, I'm not.
Vince told me.
Look, he is more well, adult.
Yeah, tell her I wear long trousers now.
The two of us have spent our life savings on this flat.
Do you believe that Vincent would waste all that money if he was an overgrown kid indulging himself in some five-minute wonder? Believe me, Mummy, he's become a trustworthy, reliable and responsible adult.
Really? What became of that BMW sports car he claimed to own? What happened to that BMW? I lost it in a game of pool.
Um, I don't know.
I'll ask him when he gets back.
Have you got that watch that Daddy and I gave you for your birthday? Yes, of course I have.
I just wondered if Thing had pawned it yet.
Don't be so silly.
Look, it's here, see? I suppose Daddy didn't let it slip that it cost £200, did he? No.
Good.
I told him not to mention it.
In case it made you feel guilty.
I'm glad he didn't say anything.
Take care of that watch, darling.
Every time you look at it, think of Daddy and me.
Don't talk like that, Mummy.
We'll see each other again.
God help us, we're only in Chingford! I'll come and see you at the weekend.
No, we're going to Bournemouth.
Your father has to attend a wine importers' conference.
Sounds like a bundle of laughs! You might enjoy yourself.
I'll see you Monday.
Have a lovely time, won't you? Yes And you.
Yes.
Bye.
How is she? Still upset.
Well, this is it, kid.
Our own little cave.
No doubts? Of course not.
Did you really lose that car in a game of pool? Only just, Pen.
Only just.
I've worked hard on this place, but it was worth it.
It's ours - a place where we can be ourselves, do whatever we fancy doing.
I feel sort of I don't know what the right word is.
- Proud? - No.
Randy.
- We've got to go to work, Vincent.
- Pen, you're on flexi-hours.
Yes, but you're not.
Well, I'll pack the job in.
Vincent, go to work.
I'll see you this evening.
Until this evening then.
Bye.
Bye.
- I love you.
- So do I.
I mean love you, I mean.
- I'm not happy in the job, Pen.
- Get out of here, will you? I'll be back at 1.
30.
- Where are you off to? - Dinner.
Fancy a quick one? - I'll put this on and see you down there.
- All right.
Oh, it's you, Pen.
That's a nice welcome on our first night(!) - Shall I carry those for you? - No, it's OK.
I got carrier bags with wheels on them! Are you hungry? I missed my lunch today.
Look, I'll put this stuff in the fridge, then I'll cook something.
Pen Anything interesting happen today? It depends on how you define "interesting".
- Vince, where's the fridge? - It's gone, Pen.
Gone? Where's it gone? Most probably to the same place as the food mixer, coffee percolator, TV set and stereo.
Something's happened, hasn't it? It's got nothing to do with one of your bets? Penny, we've been burgled.
Oh! What a mess! Why? I mean Why, Vince? Pen, I didn't want you to see it like this.
I was going to run the Hoover over the place before you got home.
- And hope I wouldn't notice? - Just try and take the curse off it.
I just didn't have the energy.
Or the Hoover.
- But why us? - It's not us they've tried to hurt.
It damn well feels like it.
They haven't singled us out.
They strike indiscriminately.
Like British Rail.
They look for a half-open window or door without a security lock.
But we've got a security lock.
Yes, but How can I put it? Someone, and I'm naming no names, but Someone forgot to lock it when she left this morning.
- I didn't lock it? - I didn't say that.
The police did, but I didn't.
Vince, I'm sorry.
I was in such a hurry this morning.
I put all my clothes in the wardrobe, then Mummy rang back and I forgot to lock the door.
It's all my fault! - Don't be silly.
- No, it's my fault.
- It isn't.
- Whose fault is it? All right, if it makes you happy, it's your fault.
But you didn't do it on purpose.
You'll never let me forget this.
Every time we have an argument, you'll throw this in my face.
I'll never mention it again as long as I live.
- You promise? - I promise.
Oh Oh, just look at it.
How can anyone be so horrible? They've taken everything.
Do the police know who it is? No.
Personally, I think it was kids.
Why? Because Because one of them has done something rather childish in our bedroom.
- Don't go in there.
- My jewellery's in there.
They must be animals.
They're not satisfied with smashing up your home and stealing everything.
They have to do that kind of rotten thing as well.
Why? Nobody knows, Pen.
Not even the police.
The detective in charge says it's still a mystery.
But he reckons a psychiatrist will be along soon to clear it up.
The mystery.
Oh.
Yes.
So what else have they taken? Well, let's look on the positive side, Pen.
I mean, everything they've left is a plus, right? If you say so.
Now let me see.
What didn't they take? They didn't take that picture of your mother.
- They left your clothes.
- They took yours? Oh, poor Vince.
So what's wrong with my clothes then? The police think they may have been disturbed before they could take yours.
- Did you wear your watch to work? - No.
- Oh.
- Oh, no, not my new watch! I'd only worn it once.
I really loved that watch.
I'll get you another watch exactly the same.
- It cost £200.
- I'll get you another watch, I promise.
You haven't got any money.
Neither of us have.
We spent our last penny on this flat.
Now everything's gone.
They've taken it all.
Come on, Pen.
We'll get over it.
- I remember now.
- Remember what? This morning, there were three teenagers hanging round on the corner.
So? Don't you see? They must have done it.
- You can't simply accuse anyone you saw.
- They looked like criminals.
- What do criminals look like? - Like those three on the corner.
Shall I phone the police and ask them to put out an APB? I don't believe this.
I could give a very detailed description.
Two black guys and one white fellow.
That takes care of about a third of the male population.
They could have been there for a number of reasons.
Friends engrossed in conversation, workmen waiting for a bus or The Fun Boy Three on their way to a gig.
Don't get sarky with me, Vincent.
This isn't my fault.
Pen, you're jumping to conclusions.
Let's just take it easy.
I'll pour us a drink.
I can't.
They've taken that as well.
I'll pop down the off-licence.
Don't leave me here alone.
- You're not scared they might come back? - They might still be here.
The police went over every inch of the flat.
That's very reassuring(!) If the police were any good, they'd have had someone patrolling the streets to make sure this doesn't happen, but they're involved in important duties like towing decent people's cars off stupid yellow lines! - Who got a parking ticket today? - Oh, shut up! - Look, Pen, what have we actually lost? - What have we lost? We've lost all our possessions.
They were just plastic, bits and pieces.
They can be replaced.
The important thing is we weren't injured.
It's not the fact that they've stolen our things.
It's the thought of strangers being in here.
This was our home, our private place and that privacy has been violated.
I don't think I'll ever feel alone here again.
- Come on, Pen.
It's all over now.
- Maybe.
- Do you remember Alison and Martin? - No.
Yes, they were at our wedding.
Yes, Pen, but I wasn't.
Oh, no.
Sorry.
What about Alison and Martin? You don't think they did it? Shortly after they were married, their house was broken into.
They cleaned and redecorated, but there was always an atmosphere, as if the burglars had left their spirits there.
Our burglars were different.
They took our spirits! - Well, at least we're luckier than them.
- Of course we are.
They weren't even insured.
At least in six or seven weeks we'll be able to replace our things.
Pen It was years before they got their home together again.
Years, eh? Pen - Vince, you're shivering.
- Am I? It must be the shock.
I'll put the electric fire Oh, that's gone as well.
Hey No Oh, no.
Please, God! I couldn't take it, Vince.
Not that.
- Tell me that we're insured.
- We're insured.
- Really? - No.
Why not? We filled in that form over a week ago, so why aren't we insured? - I forgot.
- What do you mean, you forgot? The insurance broker's is right next door to your betting shop.
I know.
I was going to do it this morning, but I had a lot of worries.
Like what? Like whether you'd lock the door properly.
You swore you'd never mention that again.
I didn't know how unreasonable you'd be.
- Anyone can forget to lock a door.
- You're the only one who forgot.
I remembered to lock it.
So did the police.
Even the bloody burglars locked it when they left! - You're pushing all the blame on to me.
- No, I'm not, Pen.
Look, do you want to talk about it? No, I don't.
And even if I did, I wouldn't want to talk about it with you.
The way I feel, I don't ever want to talk to you about anything again.
- Do I detect a note of disillusionment? - I'll pack my things and leave! - That'll be difficult.
- You said they left my clothes.
Did I say anything about your suitcases? Oh, no, they were brand-new! Oh, hell! Have you seen it in there? It's like something out of a horror movie.
Just thank God it's not in 3D.
Daddy will call round to collect my things.
I'd convinced myself that you'd overcome your cavalier attitude of the past and that you'd developed into a mature and responsible adult.
But I was just kidding myself, wasn't I? As my mother says, the difference between men and boys is just the size of their toys.
Do you want to know the real reason I'm leaving? - No.
- I'll tell you then.
I've suddenly realised that I don't care about this flat any more.
I don't care about our relationship and I don't care about you.
Pick the bones out of that one, big boy! Do you know who you remind me of in this mood? - No, but I bet you'll tell me.
- Scarlett O'Hara.
It's water off a duck's back.
I've survived a wedding that never was and a broken marriage, so I can certainly live with your childish insults.
What do you mean, Scarlett O'Hara? She was a spoilt and conceited bitch.
Got it in one.
All we need is a slave to drive the horses and we could be out tonight watching Atlanta burn! Right, I'm leaving and you know what this means.
This is the end.
The end of us.
Frankly, my dear, I don't give a rat's ass.
- Pen! - What? Don't forget to lock the door behind you.
Oh! Norman? Oh, I thought it was your father coming back.
No, it's just me.
Would you like a coffee, darling? No, thank you, Mummy.
- Where's Daddy gone? - To the flat to get your clothes.
He's been over two hours.
I hope he hasn't had a crash with your clothes in the car.
- Mummy! - Oh, I didn't mean it like that.
Oh, how awful! A young girl threw herself under a train last night in the middle of rush hour.
No consideration! Still, I suppose she's at peace now.
Oh, my God! Look, you can put ideas like that right out of your head.
Our family is useless at committing suicide.
In 1959, Aunt Dorothy put her head in a gas oven, forgot about the pilot light and destroyed three houses and a Polish butcher's.
- Did she survive? - Of course.
She was at your wedding.
Yes.
Was she the one who wouldn't take her hat off? Look - I'm going to cancel the weekend.
- Oh, no, please don't.
- I can't leave you in a state like this.
- I'm not in a state.
- You look in a state to me.
- Thank you.
I didn't mean it like that.
I'd prefer it if you went away and enjoyed yourself.
I'll get over this.
I always do.
It'll give me time to think, to get myself together.
Mummy, I'm glad you and Daddy were here.
Oh, darling, we're always here.
We look upon ourselves as a safety net to cushion you from your all too frequent falls.
- Thank you.
- And I promise, I'll never mention it.
- Mention what? - The watch.
After all, it could have happened to anybody.
What's a £200 watch compared to having your daughter back? - Thank you.
- Nonsense! Norman, where on earth have you been? You know full well where I've been.
You sent me! - What were you doing for over two hours? - Looking over the place with Vince.
- What a mess! - How's the flat looking? I was referring to the flat.
Your clothes, darling.
Mindless thugs with flick knives and bother boots.
I wish they'd leave me alone with them for ten minutes.
So do I, dear.
Sorry, Norman? I mean I wish they'd leave me alone for ten minutes with them.
- Hmm.
- How was Vince? - A bit red round the eyes.
- Had he been crying? No, drinking, I think.
Now, are you sure you wouldn't like us to stay? No, honestly, I'd prefer to be on my own.
Well, as long as you're sure.
- Put the suitcases in the Volvo, Norman.
- Yes, dear.
- Got my vanity case? - Yes, darling.
- And the Thermos flask? - Yes, pet.
Good.
Put it all in the car then, Norman.
Right you are.
I'll put it in the boot, shall I? Bye-bye, darling.
Try and cheer up while we're away.
- I will.
Have a lovely time, won't you? - I'll ring you this evening.
(Vincent) 'Dear Penny, this is one promise I didn't forget.
'Be happy.
Love, Vince.
' (She sobs) Bye-bye, darling! - Bye, Daddy.
- Is everything all right? Yes.
Fine, thank you.
Oh What is it, darling, hmm? Look! Vince has bought me a watch.
It's the same as the one that was stolen.
Well, that's nice.
Isn't it? I suppose so.
It's just that we're not seeing each other any more, so why has Vince borrowed £200 to buy me a watch? I don't know, dear.
Perhaps he's trying to tell you something.
Hmm? - Bye-bye, darling.
- Bye, Daddy.
No, honestly, I'm fine, Mummy.
I'm not distraught.
I'm just relieved that you and Daddy got there safely.
Don't worry.
If I hear a noise in the night, I will phone the police.
Yes, I've got a pencil and paper right here.
What is it again? 9 9 9.
Yes, I've written it down.
Now, look, have a lovely time and I'll see you on Monday, all right? God bless! Bye.
(Doorbell rings) - Who is it? - It's your friendly local flasher, miss.
- Compliments of the season.
- Hold on.
I've locked the door.
Better late than never, Pen! - Hello.
- Hi.
- Well? - Yes, thank you.
No, I meant "well", what do you want? Oh, I see.
I brought this round.
Your father dropped it on the stairs.
Well, Mrs Fitch found it, actually.
Oh.
Will you thank her for me? Yes, as soon as I find out what time the visiting hours are.
Oh! Did your parents go away for the weekend? - Yes, they left this morning.
- Oh, good.
- It'll be a nice break for them.
- Yes.
- Yes, all that bracing sea air.
- Hmm.
It'll let your mother keep her hand in at the old deep sea squid wrestling.
I suppose so.
Well, it's getting late.
Yes.
You don't happen to have the right time on you, do you? Oh, yes.
Yes, I do.
It's five past eleven.
Is it that late? Well, I I'd better be off home to bed.
Yes.
Me too.
Yes, I'll just toddle off home, have a nice cup of cocoa and then bed.
This time of night, the roads will be full of drunks.
Still, if I go the back ways, I should get home safely, God willing! You can stay here the night if you want to.
That's very hospitable of you.
That's if you don't mind sharing? No, no, of course not.
It'll mean one less bed to make in the morning.
What a good idea! - Oh, Pen - Yes? Don't forget to lock the door.
Hmm - I love you.
- So do I.
I love you, I mean.
Yes, I know what you mean.
- Thank you, Vince.
- You don't have to thank me, Pen.
- I meant for the watch.
- Oh, I see, I see.
It's not a problem, Pen.
- Where did you get it? - The police brought it this morning.
- Police? - Didn't I tell you? They caught the burglars with all our stuff still in their van.
I think our police are wonderful.
Absolutely.