Kung Fu s01e07 Episode Script

As quickly as you can, snatch the pebble from my hand.
When you can take the pebble from my hand, it will be time for you to leave.
Time for you to leave.
You little darlings, let's blow this hillside wide apart and show me a pile of gold.
Make Shawn Mulhare the richest son of Erin ever returned to the old sod.
And when I get back there, I'll topple on his teakettle every Britisher and every Protestant I meet.
And I'll gladly pay the fine.
I'll laugh.
I'll go right back and I'll do the same thing all over again.
Well, will you let a man do his day's work? Will you quit that, now? Run, Chinaman! Flee for your life! Now, hear ye, hear ye! This is a duly constituted court of justice.
District of Dirty Nose Canyon.
The honorable Judge Todd A.
Pritikin presiding.
So appointed, apparently, as I was the only man in this camp who owned a clean white shirt.
All right! Prisoners before the bar, you are hereby duly charged with being guilty of the following.
To wit! You, you Oriental heathen have failed to provide proper care for and protect the life of this camp's favorite cat known hereabouts as Boozer.
Shawn Mulhare! There is a law in this camp that nobody uses powder or dynamite without prior arrangement and warning.
Now, this cat was not just an ordinary mascot or a good-luck charm, though he was both of those.
All this time-wasting talk of cats in this world of the dogs.
I've had enough of your nonsense.
I've got work to do.
That's contempt of court! Stop this man.
Stop this man! Take him back there.
No! Stop! No! Stop it! I thank you, Master Po, for what you have done for me.
Not for you, young Caine.
For myself.
But I was the one.
The foreign barbarian they wanted to hurt.
Young Caine, when I was a boy I fell into a hole in the ground and I was broken and could not climb out.
I might have died there, but a stranger came along and saved me.
He said it was his obligation.
That for help he had once received he must in return help 10 others each of whom would then help 10 others.
So that good deeds would spread out like the ripples from the pebble in a pond.
I was one of his 10.
And you became one of mine.
And now I pass this obligation on to you.
Fellow men, this court is bunged-up, done in bruised, bounced, bloodied and its majestic dignity is sorely bent.
Chinaman! If I hadn't been voted down, you'd be hanging dead from that tree for mixing in a white man's quarrel.
But the condition is that you clear out of this canyon! And don't come back.
- You understand me? - Yes.
Yes what? I understand you.
You do? It's a good thing you're leaving.
Bailiff, untie him.
And you, you crazy mick, you.
Mick, you are banned from this camp until you bring us, in recompense for the killing of Boozer, a new cat! The same in all ways.
Size, character disposition and beer-drinking capacity! Men, have I stated your wishes correctly? Are you serious? There isn't a cat within 100 miles of here.
It is so ordered.
Bailiffs, cut him lose.
No, I'll go no further.
It's not a cat they want! It's me they want, away from the digs! They wanna clean it out! There's 10 men's fortunes back there.
Here, look.
It come out of that blast.
Look at it.
Touch it.
Just feel the weight of it.
Yes.
That is good.
If you find a cat you will need money to buy it.
You cold heathen statue.
If a man showed such a thing to me it'd be like a million morning suns bursting my brain! Caine, can you think of a way to go back? I mean, a way to overcome the lot? And I swear on my hope of salvation that I'll share with you.
Chinaman, you'll be a rich man.
I have no need to be rich.
You're either a liar or a fool.
Or a spy.
Did they pay you to walk with me? I walk with you because we go the same way.
- And because I must help you.
- Help me? How? Why? I have a debt.
Also, it was I who put the animal in harm's way.
And so you say you'll help me? You'll help me, Shawn Mulhare? How will you help me? Will you beat the clouds with a stick and make it rain cats? Will you pray to your Chinee god and have him reply with a beer-drinking cat? How will you help me? Me, a man who is covered with the boils of misfortune.
And at last I find a mountain of gold and I can't put it in my poor pockets until I find a cat.
How will you help me? To go anywhere, begin by taking a first step.
Good evening.
My name is Henry Skowrin.
Esquire.
Entrepreneur.
Manager of athletic entertainment.
That a Chinee you got with you? - Well, he's half and half.
- One of those.
Well, mixed blood is bad.
Breed straight, breed true.
And for proof, look at my own fine sons.
There's George, Herman, and little old Perlee.
Look at the size of him.
He can wrestle just about anything, from a grizzly bear to a redwood tree.
Give them the spiel, George.
Try to lift him off the floor, gents, for one dollar.
Win a dollar if you make it lose a dollar if you fail.
Anybody want to try for five? Try to pin his shoulders back for five dollars.
- Come on! - Care to try? - I ain't seen a dollar for a year and a half.
- That's too bad.
You know, because Perlee's been feeling kind of puny this morning.
- What's in the pot? - That all you got? - That one bird? - That's mine! - No, it ain't! - Yeah, it is, I got it.
Daddy, everything we come across, he eats! - He's gonna eat us dead! - No, I ain't.
I gotta keep up my strength! What for? You scared all the suckers away.
What you see is all we've got.
The gathering was not easy.
- No, you don't.
- Hold fast, hold fast.
All right, you come one at a time.
No one steps up to this Mulhare, insolent as ye are, and takes his food.
Look at this here coat.
I'm gonna get me a coat! Look here.
- Hey, George, look at these boots.
Here! - Yeah, look at these boots here! The best charioteers do not push ahead.
The best fighters do not make displays of anger.
The wisest antagonist is he who wins without engaging in battle.
But, master, is this not a contradiction? To train the body thus, yet shun anger and battle? This is the power of not contending.
It is how the weak overcome the strong.
Those bloody cutthroats.
- Oh, there'll be a day of reckoning.
- Will revenge get you a cat? This land you come from, this China, is it as far as it seems? Very far.
In many ways.
A strange country, is it? To a visitor.
As this land is strange to me.
Would an Irishman, a Catholic, would he thrive there? That would depend upon the man.
Not the man I have in mind.
Not in China, here, or anywhere else.
The man I have in mind is dressed in gold.
He's a man of means, a man of substance.
Seated in a golden chair, the head of his own table.
With hundreds of guests and friends and relatives all in silks and broadcloths and satins.
Eating and drinking just like lords.
And me providing it all.
Gold in me pockets, bags of gold under the table gold in every chest, in every cupboard.
That's the man I'm thinking of.
A house, but no smoke from the chimney.
Ferry, no ferryman, no horse to work it.
You see anyone? Well, I'm a man in a hurry.
And while it's a little early in the year for me bath, well Gone away for a while, I suppose.
- Hello! - Something is wrong.
Well, as me father used to say: "If you go looking for trouble, you're gonna find it.
" Let's see if there's any food in the house.
That's the sound of pain.
Slow and easy, misters.
She gonna die anyway, we don't need no special excitement for her.
- Why must she die? - You don't know what a breech case is? Oh, how women try to make moments like this consequential! A breech case, is it? She's gonna die? Reach in, you ignorant thing, and turn the little one - around so that it can be born.
- It's upside down in her.
Them sharp hooves are tangled up.
She starts laboring, they're all gonna cut her up so bad inside she gonna die.
Well, have you never dealt with it before? There was one on the farm there, when I worked as a boy.
You just reach in, cup your hands like that, bring the palms of your hands to the hooves, sharp as they are, and protect the mare, and I ain't got the strength for it.
Glory, glory, glory.
Are you laughing again? Well, in plain fact, her chances are slim.
There's a rhythm to the contractions and I have to ease the little hooves out each time between.
And if she kicks or flings herself even for a moment the hooves are gonna cut and tear.
And, well, she'll be lost.
Then she must not move.
Well, how do ye prevent it? With laying on of the hands? It can be called that.
The hands, grasshopper, are the eyes and tongue of touch.
Through them, a man may reach out and see another's feelings or speak his own.
Is it not sad, master, that the hands of a man may strike a blow as well as caress? Pain and pleasure are like two bells, side by side.
And the voice of each makes a trembling in the other.
- Are pain and pleasure, then, so alike? - Are the eyes and the tongue alike? We see the butterfly and an ugly wound.
And the same tongue which screams also laughs.
I already have a fortune.
I told you, what I need before I can pick it up is a cat.
Yeah, what if you don't find one? How far can you go looking for a cat? I tell you, there ain't more than half a dozen between here and San Francisco.
A thing that scarce, folks won't be too ready to give theirs up.
Well, don't you worry, woman, I'll find one.
You'll find one.
You'll be a tramp all your life.
Here I am, I'm offering you a chance for something solid.
You could work the ferry business with me.
A partner! Then you could build a hotel.
You could grow up with the country.
I've starved and shivered and sweated in me own country and in this country and I don't find any difference.
It's the rich man with the moneybags that makes the poor man's weather.
If it wasn't for that accident, that cursed cat, I'd- Oh, no, you ain't gonna take this cat from me.
I'm fond of this cat.
She's a comfort to me.
You ain't gonna take her.
There's a tear in my eye and a hurt in my heart at the very thought of it but it's that very same gentleness that the creature will thrive on.
Now, if you just give it to me, I can go back to the mine.
- Will you work for her? - Until the flesh is worn off me bones.
There.
My second husband said, "Want a well? Gotta dig here.
" Then he went off to the war, got himself killed.
The woman's daft! You got a blessed river flowing by your own doorstep! Oh, I'm daft? What kind of hotel you think I'm gonna have? Gonna have my guests go down to the river to wash? I told you.
I want a well.
I want it here.
And I made you an offer.
A cat for a well.
Well As you say, it's not a bad bargain.
You know, I can hardly wait to hold a pick and shovel in my hand once again.
Can't you ever make things easy for me? If you seek pick and shovel, they are in the barn.
No.
- I don't have time for your foolishness now.
- The theft would be foolish.
I'm not interested in morality now, least of all yours.
- I'm gonna get that cat.
- But not steal it.
Get up, get up, get up! Daddy, Daddy, Daddy! Come here! Look! It's that Chinaman.
Water? - Want some water? - Yes, thank you.
That's what it is! Granite! It's solid granite! Oh, can't you understand, it'll take dynamite to break through there! We made a bargain.
You gonna dig me a well.
- I've done all that I can! - A dry hole in this ground ain't no well.
- This here is a dry hole.
- Oh, God save the mark! Her husbands must have been glad to die.
Ask her, someone.
Ask her.
What's a well compared to the dignity of a man? Laboring! Laboring, and for what? A cat? A cat? And nobody caring for the aching heart of Shawn Mulhare.
That's got nothing but a nugget from a mountain of gold.
Oh, the saints preserve us.
Well, we look a little different, don't we, than when we met last time? There ain't nothing you'd want around here, so why don't you just keep on going? Fellas, hitch up Sophie.
We can get these people across the river.
Yes, Sophie.
Well, she looks just fine.
She's done well.
She has- That's a fine-looking cat there.
I don't think I saw that cat before.
We don't have many cats in these parts.
Cat like that might bring Herman, you think you could carry that cat in your rain slicker? Herman! As the poet says: The ways that are dark And the ways that are vain And the heathen Chinee is peculiar.
Herman, don't you hurt the catch.
Perlee, George.
What's this they say about your hands and your feet being dangerous weapons? Don't shoot me with one of them! What are you scalawags up to? Scalawags? Why, madam, we have just saved you from being murdered in your own bed.
$ 10,000 alive.
$5000 dead.
And his hands and his feet should be considered dangerous weapons.
You fellas remember that shotgun this little lady shoved under our noses - last time we was here? - You won't find it.
Disappeared.
George, go look for it.
Ten thousand dollars.
Well, now.
What was all that hollering about gold I heard? - Gold? - I could hear it clear over there.
You wouldn't be the greedy kind that'd hold out on us last time we met, would you? - No, no.
- Well, you hadn't better be.
Wishful words, me boyo.
Wishful words.
That's all it was.
Maybe.
And maybe you busted a wishbone and got your wish.
Go on, search him, boys.
Hold it, hold it! Is that it? No.
- Sure it is.
It's gold.
- Tell you, it's fool's gold.
- It ain't worth beans.
- You're a liar! You sure, Herman? Because if I find out elsewise, I'll skin you alive.
- You know I can.
- I tell you, Pa, it's iron pyrite.
That's the book word for it.
It looks like real gold but it ain't.
It is gold! I'm telling you, it is gold.
Well, I tell you I done some prospecting myself.
There's a difference.
Woman, it is gold.
It's gold.
If it's gold, go some place nice and quiet and spend it.
- I can't find it, Pa.
- Well, keep on looking.
Go on in the cabin.
- I'm gonna look after Sophie.
- Don't you touch that mare! - Hear me? No, you-! Come on out! - Will you stop your jabbering? - Perlee, get rid of her.
- You take away that mare, she'll die! You put me down, you bully.
Put me down! You just stay there.
Herman! We're gonna get this horse out here and throw the Chinaman on it.
- No one told me.
- You showed it to no one.
- I showed it to you.
- What do I know of gold as compared to the knowledge of experts? Ask me knowledge of what I know.
How to overcome those much larger than yourself.
Or how weak are those who bellow their strength.
Like the charging bull.
Such things I would teach you.
Why, you dumb Chinee! You think you're gonna learn me about wrestling? Get him over here and throw him on the horse.
Teacher is as water to the soil.
He cannot grow a pomegranate from a mustard seed.
- I said you get that Chinaman on this horse! - Now, wait, Pa, wait.
He's lying about them dangerous weapons.
Why, all he's got on there is hands and feet! He's up to something again.
I can just feel it.
- Perlee, you just ain't got no sense.
- Now, Pa, I wanna wrestle him! - Perlee! - Pa, how long can it take? Look at that skinny Chinee.
Two, three minutes.
And besides, I ain't no mustard seed.
- And you're gonna find that out.
- Listen, Perlee.
- This is your daddy talking to you.
- Pa, all I wanna do is have him show me a few tricks.
And make some And make some chop suey out of him.
Come on, mash him, Perlee! Bear-squeeze him to death.
Get off your back, Perlee.
You're a Skowrin! - That's my boy.
- That's it, Perlee, now! That's it! - Stomp on him.
Stomp! - That's it, son.
Come on, get him, Perlee! That's it, boy.
He's doing all right, Daddy.
That's it! Now you got him, Perlee.
Get out of that water, it ain't good for your body! - Do something! Get in there, kill him! - Hang on, Perlee, I'm coming! Oh, quit.
Nothing but rock salt in this machine.
I hate guns, but I got another charge of salt in here.
Who'll it be? Hold on, hold on.
We're coming.
Come on.
Come on, help me up with him.
Give me your hand, Perlee.
- Hey, Perlee, give me a hand.
- I'll take what's ours.
And the boots.
Be glad your mother ain't here to see your shame.
$ 10,000.
We'll have to come back with a posse or sheriff or something and get that Chinaman.
- Well, now, Perlee tried, Pa.
- Well, it just weren't enough.
- That's true.
- Weren't quite enough, Perlee.
- Salt's killing me.
- Well, stand in your stirrups.
Well, now, seeing as how you did so well in that fight why don't you go down the well and fetch the cat? Kitty.
There you are.
All right, now.
Shawn? Shawn.
Shawn! You $ 10,000 man.
- You seek still to be rich? - And why not? How many $ 10,000 men does a being see in this poor man's world? Let the rope down, Shawn.
Now, why should I? Would your soul rest easier if Henry Skowrin delivered you over instead of myself? - Shawn, let the rope down.
- It's gone.
It's all gone! The gold is gone.
My dreams are gone! Gone with the sweat that I poured down in this hole! With you working by my elbow the whole while and worth a fortune! Were you laughing at me, Chinaman? Were you laughing at Shawn Mulhare? - You are angry because you betray me.
- Yes, I'm angry! As a child I starved in the potato famine.
As a young lad I carried my baby sister's coffin.
I dropped it in the road because my arms and shoulders were that tired from fatigue and starvation.
I'm angry! I'm angry me mother died in the mill of consumption! Me father died on the manure pile.
Now, there's a place for an Irishman to give up the ghost.
I'm angry.
I'm angry, not a penny to my name! No family! No house in me own land! I'm angry! I'm angry! I'm angry! Holy saints! I know everything about a man except what makes him a fool.
Will you let down a rope? Before we catch our death of cold? Will you let down a rope? No! No, come down.
Come down! Lord help me, you'll drown.
- Fetch the ladder from the house! - It is not long enough.
- I'll ride for help! - There is no time.
You'll have your well now, me darling, but it's filling fast with water.
Shawn, there is a way.
A man might climb as if in a chimney.
His feet against one wall, his back against the other.
It'd take a man with legs as long as himself! Or another man.
Let us try.
Now.
Your right foot.
Up! Your right.
The left.
- This is not possible! - Keep pressing against my back.
Do not even slightly relax.
Your right.
Push! Left.
Up! Up! Right! Are you all right? Yes.
The left.
Yes.
Yes.
Your right.
Left.
The left.
Push.
Yes! Yes.
Yes.
Just a little more, now.
Right.
Just a little more.
Come on, now.
Now you'll draw yourself to safety.
Let me drop.
And who's to blame you? Put your arms around my neck.
You're putting me to shame.
It would be pleasant to stay here.
Watch him grow.
Must you always be on the run? Not always.
In his own time, each man finds a place to stand.
I'm the living proof of that.
Here's a place that gives a man reason to rest.
It's a good place to work.
- And to find peace? - For the first time in a hungry life.
And to build a hotel.
I'll build you your hotel.
And Caine, come by this way again, we'll make you comfortable.
You'll see a hotel straight out of a dream of glory.
Just like a Taj Mahal- Well, now, it's true, I've been known to say an extra word now and again.
But never so many that I can't hear the other fellow.
Things like passing on a debt to 10.
And they to another 10.
I've taken the obligation.
Never fear.
I think I have a mind for it now.
I am glad.
There will be a town here, Caine.
And I'll be the leading force of it.
There will be children dancing in the street and music of fiddlers on the square.
And God will smile on it.
God will smile on it, or by glory, he and I, we'll have a talk.