Las Vegas s01e07 Episode Script
Pros and Cons
[Upbeat instrumental music.]
I see red.
- No, Cosme, no.
- I see red.
- Betting's off.
Don't touch.
- I see red.
Red.
COSME: Red! I see red! [Upbeat instrumental music continues.]
CROUPIER: Seventeen, black.
COSME: But I saw red.
Now you see black, idiot! MARY: Okay, have fun at the show.
- Oh, where is it? - Excuse me.
Can I help you find something? LEONOR: The ladies' room.
MARY: I'm headed that way.
I'll show you.
- Having a nice time in Vegas? - I was until my husband saw red.
[Shelly sobbing.]
[Clicking.]
- Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm fine.
Are you sure? 'Cause you don't look fine.
My boyfriend.
Don't even get me started on men.
We'll be here all day.
Thanks.
Did you ever have one try and kill you? - What's going on? - Nothing.
- Maybe we should call the police.
- No, no police.
He didn't mean it.
It was my fault.
I sort of took the rest of his chips.
But it was my money to begin with, and he was just gambling it all away.
- So cash out and leave.
- I can't.
He's watching me.
DELINDA: I'll get security to escort you SHELLY: No, no police.
It'll make things worse.
I just wanna go see my parents in Phoenix.
- So cash in your chips, girl.
- He'll see me.
Tell you what.
I'll just buy them from you.
- How much do you have? - Like $400 worth.
Not a problem.
[Gasps.]
Thank you so much.
I'm no expert on relationships, but you need a new one.
Yeah.
I'm gonna go to the airport and catch the first flight to Phoenix.
- Thank you.
- Oh, good.
[Slots ringing.]
[People cheering.]
NESSA: Hey, babe.
DELINDA: Hey, you.
Oh, employees aren't supposed to gamble while they're working.
I'm cashing these in for a friend.
- These are counterfeit.
- What do you mean, counterfeit? Danny! Where did your friend get them? DELINDA: I don't know.
I thought here.
DANNY: What's up? These are counterfeit.
Who's trying to pass them? I wasn't trying to pass anything.
I'm just trying to do someone a favour.
We don't have to tell Daddy, do we? [Chuckles.]
[Upbeat instrumental music.]
[Sighs.]
[Theme music.]
DANNY: The tint is off.
The thickness is way off.
Look at that thing.
I'm your father, and I work in a casino and you took chips that look like they were made by a zoo animal.
[Danny chuckles softly.]
ED: Now, how do you suppose that makes me look? A: Good; B: Not so good? I'm sorry.
You never invited me to Take Your Daughter to Work Day.
You were busy gallivanting all around Europe.
- You wanted me to get an education.
- Exactly.
So that you could be taken by a two-bit hustler in the ladies' lounge of my casino.
- Money well spent, I'd say.
- You can find her.
- You have cameras everywhere.
- Not in the bathrooms, we don't.
- Well, what happens now? - Like "what happens now," what? Aren't you gonna sic Boy Wonder here on her? It wouldn't do any good.
She's long gone.
Look, forget it.
Just thank God it was only $400.
I just want you to not be so gullible, okay, in the future? - Okay? - Okay.
Try not to be so gullible next time.
Look who's talking.
You thought sleeping together meant I loved you.
DELINDA: And by the way, a couple of my friends think you're cute.
I told them I'd see if you were interested.
- I don't need setting up.
- Not what I heard.
ED: Hey.
- What's this? - Mr.
Hellman wanted to show his gratitude for keeping an eye on him the last trip.
Holy crap! That's some serious bling.
- "Bling"? What the heck is - Just means nice watch.
Oh, I see.
I thought you were referring to, you know, Delinda.
No.
No, "bling" is not a word that I would use to describe Delinda.
Exactly what word would you use to describe, you know, Delinda? ELLIOT: All right! SAM: Okay, gentlemen.
Here we go.
Gentlemen? What? MICHAEL: No, sorry.
We can't play here.
ELLIOT: No.
Table limit's too low? We can gladly raise it.
No, it's just, we always play our first hand over there.
Table 44.
- Always? - Always.
- Give me a minute.
- Thanks, Sam.
ELLIOT: Forty-four.
SAM: Steadman and Weston.
Good for $100,000, each.
Same weekend every year.
Same table every year, and they only want to play at that one.
I'll close down for a shift change.
NESSA: Bring your boys back in 10.
SAM: Thanks.
- You'll be at your table in 10 minutes.
- Nice! While they're setting that up, we could get a drink.
MICHAEL: Love drinks.
SAM: Club Mystique.
SAM: It's a new club.
You will love it.
ELLIOT: That has a lot of mystique to it.
[People cheering.]
SHELLY: I'm sorry.
Is there a Lost and Found where somebody might turn in some jewellery? NESSA: I was headed that way.
I'll take you.
SHELLY: Thank you.
NESSA: I know it's a long shot, but when did you notice it was missing? - Like an hour ago.
- Do you have a matching earring? My boyfriend told me to put it in the car.
He's really pissed.
SHELLY: He gave them to me as an anniversary gift.
SHELLY: Now he's acting like it's my fault, and it just fell off my ear.
- What does it look like? - It's a diamond stud about a half a carat with a gold stem.
- That's it! - Oh, no.
This one has a platinum stem.
I'm sorry, I don't think we have it.
But if anything turns up We've been looking forward to this trip for so long and now it's ruined.
How about I comp you a night here? I mean, would that make things better? Are you kidding? Oh, God, yes.
Good.
DANNY: Mikey, wait up.
I got a question for you.
Boxers.
Definitely boxers.
DANNY: This is serious.
MIKE: Shoot.
Delinda offered to fix me up.
Is there something pathetic about that? MIKE: Yes.
DANNY: There is, right? Dumps you and then pities you.
I am very capable of finding my own women, thank you very much.
Or one finding you? Well, I think I hear cars honking.
I'm gonna get back to the valet.
So? So, you just kissed me out of nowhere the other day.
MARY: And? [Stammering.]
And it was MARY: Hi.
Did you guys use the free buffet tickets? - She enjoys the crab of king.
- Maybe now you'll come up at roulette.
We have very little left, very few savings.
But I had no choice.
I saw red.
Maybe tomorrow I'll see black.
- Or maybe red again.
- Cosme, we have nothing left to gamble.
My lucky $5 chip.
There is more to Vegas than gambling: Shows and museums and fine dining.
MARY: We even have a Triple-A baseball team, the 51s.
Yes, we came here to see Mr.
Wayne Newton.
A vacation we paid for before Cosme got laid off.
We tried to cash it in, but we couldn't.
And what better way to change your luck than a trip here? To see Mr.
Las Vegas himself, Wayne Newton.
[Singing.]
Asking where I've been But now we can't see him because you saw red.
Don't worry, Leonor.
I'll win all our savings back, and then some.
My husband is a good man, but he's full of dreams.
And you cannot live on dreams.
You know what I think you should do? You should save that lucky $5 chip to help you find a new job.
And while you're here, you will see Wayne Newton, I'll get you free tickets.
Thank you.
Danke Schoen.
Cosme tries to sing like him in the shower.
Well, maybe Wayne will turn his luck around.
I hope so.
ELLIOT: How long has this place been here? SAM: About three weeks.
SAM: It's already the hottest club in town.
MICHAEL: Spicy.
ELLIOT: How long have we been here? MICHAEL: At least 20 minutes.
This is Vegas, man, all right? I got to bet on something.
Your table's gonna be ready in seconds.
I got it for you.
- $10,000 says those are implants.
- No.
You're on.
Those are real.
See how they bounce? ELLIOT: Yeah, those are real.
[Cell phone ringing.]
Look at this.
Table's ready.
Table 44.
SAM: Guys, your table's so ready.
MICHAEL: How are you? ELLIOT: Hi.
My friend and I, we just made a little wager.
I'm saying that those fabulous curves of yours there those magnificent, spectacular breasts are store-bought.
And I believe that your lovely hooters are all natural.
Does that mean they're fake or real? - I don't know.
What do you think? - I'd call that a push.
Okay, so the new lockboxes will be installed on [Sensual rock music.]
Monday.
Hey.
[Sensual rock music stops.]
DANNY: Everything okay? He doesn't seem to understand the meaning of "I don't want a back rub.
" Why don't you have a seat right over here? I think you're making my friend uncomfortable.
DANNY: I'm gonna ask you to leave the pool area for a bit.
- Your friend? - Yeah.
- My friend.
- Really? Yeah.
I could have swore she was just another Vegas pool bitch.
Okay, first, she's way out of your league.
Second, when I kick your ass in front of these people it's gonna take years of therapy just to get over the embarrassment.
Beat it.
All right.
I'll catch you.
What did you say to him? I just told him we're getting married tomorrow.
Well, that doesn't give us much time to get acquainted.
I'm Shelly.
[Sensual rock music resumes.]
Danny.
DANNY: So how long are you in town? SHELLY: Till Thursday.
You know, since we are getting married tomorrow I figure that we should do some kind of rehearsal dinner tonight.
I don't know about dinner, but we should definitely rehearse something.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
SAM: Welcome, gentlemen.
Table 44 awaits.
SAM: There we go.
You guys have my private cell.
If there's anything else you need, please do not hesitate to call me.
Have fun.
Wait.
- Something's off.
- What? - Did you guys change the stools? - The stools? No.
I don't think so.
Did we? We may have a rotated a few for routine maintenance.
I think maybe you have, because our stools are green.
- Am I right? - I'm afraid he is.
Yeah, we can't play on these.
- I'll call facilities management.
- Please call them.
SAM: Maybe you'd like to MICHAEL: Get a Rudy's chilli burger? Yes, we would! Yes.
Great.
I'll have a limo outside for you in five minutes.
With you driving, I hope.
We don't like professional drivers.
- I don't really like to drive, so - Sam.
It's not really our style, but we don't want to have to take our action over to the Palms.
- I would love to drive.
- Nice! MICHAEL: Fabulous! SAM: I will meet you outside at about 5:00.
- Great idea.
- Five-ish.
Could you get me two tickets for Wayne Newton tonight? He's sold out, and our VIP allotment's gone.
- Can you call someone? - I can't even get us tickets.
Maybe some VIPs would trade them in Unless their line of credit exceeds Belgium's GNP, it ain't gonna happen.
- It's for this sweet couple.
- I can't give you what I don't have.
He blew his savings.
I'm sorry for him.
His idol's Wayne Newton.
Yeah.
DANNY: So, I think you'll like Peel.
Yeah? Well, I've been dying to get in there.
- Thanks for taking me.
- My pleasure.
You know what, I actually left my ChapStick in the room.
SHELLY: I'm gonna jump into the gift shop.
DANNY: Okay.
- Who's your friend? - Hey.
You know, just someone I met.
Which reminds me, I'm gonna have to take a pass on that fix-up thing.
They're really nice.
I'm sure they are, but I'm gonna be pretty booked for the next few weeks.
Okay.
Well, I better get back to my date.
It's not good to keep the ladies waiting.
Maybe I can double with you and your date sometime.
Sounds good.
So, who would you bring? I got a little action for you, buddy.
$10,000 says this elevator right here.
- This one right here opens first.
- That one? - This one right here.
- You're on.
MICHAEL: Okay? $10,000.
ELLIOT: Yeah.
You're on.
SAM: Of course you're not outside, because you're here.
Rudy's chilli burger? I think this one's gonna open first.
Mikey's got that one.
Come on.
ELLIOT AND MICHAEL: Mine opened first.
- Mine did.
- Are you kidding me? ELLIOT: You think yours opened first? How could you say that? - Sam? - I'm sorry, I didn't see.
- How could you not see? - I turned around - Check the surveillance camera.
- The tapes.
- There we go.
- I can talk to somebody.
ELLIOT: Nice.
- Who runs the tapes? - I'm gonna take care of that for you.
MICHAEL: Sam? SAM: Let's keep moving.
- How far is it to Laughlin? - About 100 miles.
Why? ELLIOT: She can get us there and back in under three hours.
Except I'm not doing any illegal driving, so $50,000 says we don't make it back for at least three hours.
- I'll take that bet.
Sam? - Yes? - We're going to Laughlin.
- Road trip.
NEWTON: Good rehearsal, guys.
Thanks.
Wayne Newton! Where? Oh, my God! This is beyond amazing.
MARY: I have lived here my entire life, and never run into you.
I've seen your show like five, six times, but to run into you In the Wayne Newton Theater, who would have thought of that? But it's especially unbelievable because I was just talking about Hi, I'm Mary Connell.
I'm Director of Special Events - for the Montecito.
- Montecito? - Ed's a dear friend of mine.
- Oh, really? Yeah, Ed's a great guy.
- Listen, Mr.
Newton.
I know that - Wayne, please.
[Laughing excitedly.]
Look, normally, I would never do anything like this.
It's just not me.
But there's this sweet couple staying at our hotel and they're really down on their luck, and they just love you.
- Really? - Yeah, and your show is all sold out.
And I can't get any more tickets, and I know it's an imposition but if there's any way I could just get two.
Consider it done.
- Really? - Really.
I'll stop talking now.
Thank you so much.
Thank you, Mary.
Thank you! [Energetic dance music.]
[People cheering.]
SHELLY: Come on.
I need another drink.
Your wish is my command.
Another Vegas Special.
I have to go to the ladies' room.
DANNY: Hurry back.
[Sighs.]
- What can I get you? - Vegas Special and a beer, please.
BARTENDER: Decided to come up for air? DANNY: Oh, man! BARTENDER: I saw you two over there.
DANNY: The girl is crazy.
If that's crazy, do me a favour and lock me up in the asylum.
Busy in here tonight.
Britney and Christina had a catfight by the fire pit.
- Yeah, who won? - Every guy out here.
[Both laughing.]
I think someone's calling.
Oh.
SHELLY: You know what? I need you to do something before we both get arrested.
- What's that? - Get us a room.
Now.
[Band playing rock music.]
[Singing.]
We're caught in a trap [Audience cheering.]
[Singing.]
I can't walk out Because I love you too much baby Why can't you see What you're doing to me When you don't believe a word I'm saying? We can't go on together With suspicious minds We can't build our dreams On suspicious minds [Romantic instrumental music.]
NEWTON: [Singing.]
Please let our love survive Or dry the tears from your eyes Whoa, don't let a good thing die 'Cause, baby Baby I'll never, never lie to you BACKUP SINGERS: [Singing.]
No NEWTON: [Singing.]
No BACKUP SINGERS: [Singing.]
No, no NEWTON: [Singing.]
No, no We're caught in a trap I can't walk out Because I love you too much baby Why can't you see What you're doing to me When you don't believe a word I'm saying? NEWTON: "Why can't you see.
" Sing it.
[Singing.]
Why can't you see NEWTON: "What you're doing to me.
" [Singing.]
What you're doing to me NEWTON: You know this song, don't you? When you don't believe the words I'm saying? NEWTON: Good one.
Here, come on.
BACKUP SINGERS: [Singing.]
Why can't you see What you're doing to me When you don't believe NEWTON: [Singing.]
a word I'm saying NEWTON AND COSME: We're caught in a trap And I can't walk out Because I love you too much baby And why can't you see What you're doing to me When you don't believe the words I'm saying? We can't go on together With suspicious minds And we can't build our dreams On suspicious minds - Who is this guy? - That's Cosme from Fresno.
- He's good.
- Yes! NEWTON AND COSME: [Singing.]
Would I still see suspicion in your eyes? Here we go again Asking where I've been When you don't see the tears I'm crying Suspicious minds Suspicious minds Suspicious minds [Audience cheering.]
All right! [Cell phone ringing.]
SHELLY: Let it ring.
Please, let it ring.
DANNY: If it were anyone else, I would.
Yeah? We just got a call about a diamond bracelet being lifted in the ladies' room at Peel.
ED: Anyway, it seems this woman was crying about some abusive boyfriend.
The victim gives her a sympathy hug and 10 minutes later, she notices her bracelet's gone.
Anyway, the height, weight, everything matches that girl that ripped off Delinda.
[Racy instrumental music.]
Yeah, I'm all over it.
[Car horn honking.]
DANNY: Can I see your purse? SHELLY: Why? DANNY: I have a really embarrassing confession to make.
DANNY: I think I just made love to a thief.
- Okay, I have a confession, too.
- Save it for the police.
Please.
I can return the bracelet.
There's a reason I took it.
The same reason you dumped phoney chips at Montecito? I didn't know what else to do.
You know the guy harassing me at the pool? It wasn't the only time.
He followed me here.
He's been threatening me.
He's Ray Duran.
Really? I owe him $8,000, and I don't have it and I am scared.
I just want to pay him and get him out of my life.
You know, that's all very moving and everything but unfortunately stupidity isn't a legal defence, even in Las Vegas.
Danny, he said that he would kill me if I don't pay.
I know this is wrong, but I don't know what else to do.
What do I do? If Duran is really following you it'll be on the surveillance tapes.
I work surveillance and security at the Montecito, believe it or not.
Check the tape, Danny.
I'm not lying.
COSME: Thank you.
Singing was special for me, too.
I'm a big fan of Mr.
Newton, as are you.
- He's quite a singer.
- Suspicious Minds sounds very different in Tagalog.
WOMEN: Bye.
Thank you.
- You were great.
- Very nice.
So, have you performed with Wayne before? I have not.
Indeed, a dream come true.
- Any gigs back in - Frankly, I am without employment.
I was laid off.
Downsizing.
The whole plant lost their jobs.
I'm Johnny Joosten, and I run the Bella Sera Lounge at the Montecito.
You come in.
First round's on me.
You see? His card is red.
My singing is bringing us good luck! [Sings in Tagalog.]
Suspicious minds [Mary and Leonor laughing.]
[Car horn honking.]
Now those are the ones.
Oh, my God.
That's sweet.
- That's a beautiful thing.
- Nice.
MICHAEL: Beautiful.
Like the old days.
[Both sigh contentedly.]
MICHAEL: Except where's Julio? ELLIOT: That's not Julio.
- Julio always deals our first hand.
- Who's Julio? Just the greatest blackjack dealer on The Strip.
This guy used to deal cards for Bugsy Siegel.
Sam, I thought you knew.
He always deals our first hand.
You got to find Julio.
Julio retired last year.
Yes, I will find Julio.
DANNY: All right, she was wearing a red wig when Delinda ran into her.
That's her natural hair colour.
And, okay, this is Duran, the guy that she said is threatening her.
ED: Pull up Duran's file, please.
[Computer beeping.]
This lowlife.
"Duran.
Arrested: Assault, extortion, assault, loan sharking.
" Did five years of an 8-10 year sentence.
Did she say why she owed this guy some money? She scammed him.
Does Shelly have a sheet? ED: No.
No, I mean unless that's not her real name.
Where is she anyway? Conference room.
Maybe she is telling the truth.
I imagine you'd like to think so.
I guess I'll go talk to the little lady.
ED: Right, lover boy? [Slow instrumental music.]
ED: I'm Ed Deline.
SHELLY: Hi.
ED: You know, this situation we have here it's just got a lot of strange angles, Shelly.
ED: Do you mind? SHELLY: Yeah.
ED: Thank you.
For example you know the girl that you took for the phoney chips? That was my daughter.
- I didn't know.
- Of course not.
I mean, how the heck could you know? And, I don't think you're that dumb.
It has nothing to do with the fact that Ray Duran wants to kill me.
So assuming that we can find this creditor of yours my plan is to What? Convince him to forgive the debt? Thank you.
Then you and he will go your separate ways and neither of you will ever darken the Montecito's doorways again, correct? Done.
No problem.
Excuse me.
Hi.
I'm looking for Julio Carbonal? Hi.
Mr.
Carbonal? How would you like to come back to work for the Montecito? Okay, well, I'll take that as a "yes.
" All right, let's find this guy.
Give me Camera 42 on P1.
Yes.
All right, can I get a shot of his face on P2? DANNY: All right, zoom in on that.
MAN: Zooming in.
DANNY: Little further.
MAN: Okay.
All right, freeze that.
Split it, put it on P3.
Give me a side by side.
MAN: Freezing and splitting.
Bingo.
Security.
Video poker, Bank 8, Seat 3.
The guy in the black muscle tee.
Watch him till I get down there.
[Upbeat instrumental music.]
[Elevator bell dings.]
DANNY: Hey! [Gasps.]
We have a winner.
[People cheering.]
So what are we gonna do with you, Ray? RAY: You better kill me, man.
Because when I get out of here, I'm going straight to the cops.
I'm gonna report you for assault kidnapping and unlawful restraint.
- Dude, you had a light wand on you.
- I didn't use it.
[Danny and Ed laughing.]
That doesn't really matter.
See? - Whoa, man.
- What? I didn't use it.
But it's illegal.
You walk into my casino with a cheating device, and you go to jail.
Look, man, all you've got to do is get Shelly to give me what she owes me.
She tells me 20 times she's got it and 20 times she doesn't pay me.
Instead, she leaves town.
What the hell am I supposed to do? Call a lawyer? A collection agency? Look, I followed her here, man.
And I'm gonna keep following her till I get my money.
Well, exactly how much does she owe you? $8,000.
$8,000.
So that would be $6,000.
So if we get your money, you'll leave her alone? I get my money, I never want to see that bitch again.
Danny give him your watch.
DANNY: What? ED: Give him your watch.
I'm not giving You give him your watch.
ED: Danny.
DANNY: I'm not giving him my watch.
Give him your watch.
[Laughing.]
DANNY: Okay.
ED: Hey! This is a Chronoswiss Classic.
It's 18-carat gold.
Retails at $10,000.
- $12,000.
- $12,000.
ED: So I don't want to see you anywhere near her.
Is that clear? - It's a deal.
- Get the hell out of here.
Right now.
RAY: See you.
[Car horn honking.]
[Chuckles.]
ELLIOT: Now we're talking.
MICHAEL: Look who's here.
SAM: Julio, I believe you remember these gentlemen.
Julio, what's happening, man? Be good to me, Julio.
- Marker, $10,000, please.
- Ditto.
Two markers.
NESSA: Julio, marker, $10,000.
Marker, $10,000.
- Attaboy, Julio.
- There you go.
You know what? I think we need to hold the deal.
I'm not sure he's up for this.
MICHAEL: No.
He's fine.
Aren't you, Julio? - Come on.
Deal them up, buddy.
- I'm sorry, this is my fault.
I should haven't let this happen.
Shall I take you home? No, would you just Let him deal the first hand, and our tradition will be preserved.
Michael, Elliot, you're valued guests.
I feel I've done everything I can to make you happy but I'm sure you understand I don't want to embarrass Julio here.
Sam, we just thought that maybe he could Well, he can't.
If another dealer's unacceptable, then you can gamble elsewhere.
Oh, yes.
[Elliot moans.]
MICHAEL: Thank you.
- You owe me $100,000.
- I thought for sure she would last longer.
What do I have to do with this? - We had a little bet.
- Not so little.
Just a private wager to see how long it would take - To drive me crazy? - Yeah, and I won.
Yeah.
Julio, thank you.
Hook him up.
No problem, guys.
See you next year.
SAM: Julio? They pull something different every year.
How are you, Sam? MICHAEL: Something wrong? ELLIOT: What? Sam.
She's not mad at us, is she? Well, with Sam, you can never tell, but, you know, hell hath no fury.
Hey, I was looking for you guys.
- Free Sex on the Beach.
- He means our beverages.
Please sit.
Our new friend, Johnny, is joining us later.
I can't right now, but I have something for you, Cosme.
COSME: Thank you very much.
"From your biggest fan, Wayne Newton, Mr.
Las Vegas.
" There's something else.
Wayne Newton's bow tie.
[Leonor gasps.]
How can I thank you? By going home and staying out of trouble.
Yeah.
- Can I see you again? - Yeah, any time you're back.
- I want you to come visit me in Phoenix.
- Okay.
Did I give you the number at my parents' house? Yeah.
Yeah.
[Shelly laughs softly.]
[Romantic pop song.]
- Call me.
- All right.
[Car horn honking.]
DANNY: Hey.
And here I thought you liked me.
Right here, officers.
Conspiracy, grand theft, fraud, take your pick.
[Chuckles.]
MICHAEL: Could you look at this? This bill is wrong.
We don't get a bill.
That's right.
Same weekend every year, we're comped.
This is stupid.
Can you get Sam Marquez? She'll clear this up.
That's $86,000.
See, it's not It's insane.
We're not doing that.
I'm sorry, sir.
There are outstanding charges from previous visits.
Back to 1993.
- Wait a minute.
- 19 We were comped, then.
Right? We were comped.
- Every year, we're comped.
- We get comped ELLIOT: Sam.
ELLIOT: Could you come over here? SAM: Can I help you? Yeah.
Could you explain to Virginia here that we're fully comped? She's giving us a bill here for the last 10 years.
The two of you were comped? [Chuckles.]
That's very funny.
Yes, we're cracking up.
I'm sorry, I usually remember all of my clients, but it's an awfully large hotel.
- Yeah.
- I can check with hospitality services.
Sam, look, if this is your idea of a joke, I'm not laughing.
I mean, she's charging my credit card $86,000 here.
Nice.
Think of the miles.
Did you get them back? Front desk is gonna let them freak out for a few minutes and then blame it on the computer.
- You're bad.
- I know.
DANNY: She could've been telling the truth, you know? ED: Yeah, she could, but she wasn't.
And that's why Duran isn't wearing the real - What the hell do you call this? - Bling.
Bling.
I was onto her, too, you know? Is that before or after your pants were off? It's a good thing he didn't check the fake one too closely? Well, con men are greedy.
Greedy people are easy marks.
Anyway, if you couldn't get over a second stringer like that Duran I would have been even more disappointed than I am.
More disappointed? Ed, they're both in custody.
I'm disappointed in your social life management.
>From an angel to the devil.
Well, possibly, someday I'll find the humour in that.
DANNY: Hi, ladies.
BOTH: Hey.
SAM: Delinda was just telling me you fell for a blonde.
Wait, a redhead? Wait.
A brunette.
You know, I'm glad that Ed decided to tell everybody that.
Who's the naive mark, now? Well, I guess it's me.
[Both laughing.]
DELINDA: Hey, guys.
I'll see you in a few.
- Are those the - My friends who wanted to meet you? DELINDA: Yeah.
DANNY: Twins.
Too bad.
DELINDA: You snooze, you lose.
SAM: You're so predictable.
[Singing.]
Danke Schoen Darling, Danke Schoen Thank you for all the joy and pain LEONOR: May I take your order? - You work here now? - Mr.
Johnny Joosten hired us.
We should not go back to Fresno.
Cosme's adoring fans are here.
Well, welcome to Las Vegas.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
COSME: [Singing.]
Darling, Danke Schoen Thank you for walks down Lover's Lane I can see, hearts carved on a tree Letters inter-twined, for all time my heart says, Danke Schoen Danke Schoen Oh darling, Danke Schoen Thank you for seeing me again I can see, hearts carved on a tree Letters inter-twined, for all time my heart says, Danke Schoen
I see red.
- No, Cosme, no.
- I see red.
- Betting's off.
Don't touch.
- I see red.
Red.
COSME: Red! I see red! [Upbeat instrumental music continues.]
CROUPIER: Seventeen, black.
COSME: But I saw red.
Now you see black, idiot! MARY: Okay, have fun at the show.
- Oh, where is it? - Excuse me.
Can I help you find something? LEONOR: The ladies' room.
MARY: I'm headed that way.
I'll show you.
- Having a nice time in Vegas? - I was until my husband saw red.
[Shelly sobbing.]
[Clicking.]
- Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm fine.
Are you sure? 'Cause you don't look fine.
My boyfriend.
Don't even get me started on men.
We'll be here all day.
Thanks.
Did you ever have one try and kill you? - What's going on? - Nothing.
- Maybe we should call the police.
- No, no police.
He didn't mean it.
It was my fault.
I sort of took the rest of his chips.
But it was my money to begin with, and he was just gambling it all away.
- So cash out and leave.
- I can't.
He's watching me.
DELINDA: I'll get security to escort you SHELLY: No, no police.
It'll make things worse.
I just wanna go see my parents in Phoenix.
- So cash in your chips, girl.
- He'll see me.
Tell you what.
I'll just buy them from you.
- How much do you have? - Like $400 worth.
Not a problem.
[Gasps.]
Thank you so much.
I'm no expert on relationships, but you need a new one.
Yeah.
I'm gonna go to the airport and catch the first flight to Phoenix.
- Thank you.
- Oh, good.
[Slots ringing.]
[People cheering.]
NESSA: Hey, babe.
DELINDA: Hey, you.
Oh, employees aren't supposed to gamble while they're working.
I'm cashing these in for a friend.
- These are counterfeit.
- What do you mean, counterfeit? Danny! Where did your friend get them? DELINDA: I don't know.
I thought here.
DANNY: What's up? These are counterfeit.
Who's trying to pass them? I wasn't trying to pass anything.
I'm just trying to do someone a favour.
We don't have to tell Daddy, do we? [Chuckles.]
[Upbeat instrumental music.]
[Sighs.]
[Theme music.]
DANNY: The tint is off.
The thickness is way off.
Look at that thing.
I'm your father, and I work in a casino and you took chips that look like they were made by a zoo animal.
[Danny chuckles softly.]
ED: Now, how do you suppose that makes me look? A: Good; B: Not so good? I'm sorry.
You never invited me to Take Your Daughter to Work Day.
You were busy gallivanting all around Europe.
- You wanted me to get an education.
- Exactly.
So that you could be taken by a two-bit hustler in the ladies' lounge of my casino.
- Money well spent, I'd say.
- You can find her.
- You have cameras everywhere.
- Not in the bathrooms, we don't.
- Well, what happens now? - Like "what happens now," what? Aren't you gonna sic Boy Wonder here on her? It wouldn't do any good.
She's long gone.
Look, forget it.
Just thank God it was only $400.
I just want you to not be so gullible, okay, in the future? - Okay? - Okay.
Try not to be so gullible next time.
Look who's talking.
You thought sleeping together meant I loved you.
DELINDA: And by the way, a couple of my friends think you're cute.
I told them I'd see if you were interested.
- I don't need setting up.
- Not what I heard.
ED: Hey.
- What's this? - Mr.
Hellman wanted to show his gratitude for keeping an eye on him the last trip.
Holy crap! That's some serious bling.
- "Bling"? What the heck is - Just means nice watch.
Oh, I see.
I thought you were referring to, you know, Delinda.
No.
No, "bling" is not a word that I would use to describe Delinda.
Exactly what word would you use to describe, you know, Delinda? ELLIOT: All right! SAM: Okay, gentlemen.
Here we go.
Gentlemen? What? MICHAEL: No, sorry.
We can't play here.
ELLIOT: No.
Table limit's too low? We can gladly raise it.
No, it's just, we always play our first hand over there.
Table 44.
- Always? - Always.
- Give me a minute.
- Thanks, Sam.
ELLIOT: Forty-four.
SAM: Steadman and Weston.
Good for $100,000, each.
Same weekend every year.
Same table every year, and they only want to play at that one.
I'll close down for a shift change.
NESSA: Bring your boys back in 10.
SAM: Thanks.
- You'll be at your table in 10 minutes.
- Nice! While they're setting that up, we could get a drink.
MICHAEL: Love drinks.
SAM: Club Mystique.
SAM: It's a new club.
You will love it.
ELLIOT: That has a lot of mystique to it.
[People cheering.]
SHELLY: I'm sorry.
Is there a Lost and Found where somebody might turn in some jewellery? NESSA: I was headed that way.
I'll take you.
SHELLY: Thank you.
NESSA: I know it's a long shot, but when did you notice it was missing? - Like an hour ago.
- Do you have a matching earring? My boyfriend told me to put it in the car.
He's really pissed.
SHELLY: He gave them to me as an anniversary gift.
SHELLY: Now he's acting like it's my fault, and it just fell off my ear.
- What does it look like? - It's a diamond stud about a half a carat with a gold stem.
- That's it! - Oh, no.
This one has a platinum stem.
I'm sorry, I don't think we have it.
But if anything turns up We've been looking forward to this trip for so long and now it's ruined.
How about I comp you a night here? I mean, would that make things better? Are you kidding? Oh, God, yes.
Good.
DANNY: Mikey, wait up.
I got a question for you.
Boxers.
Definitely boxers.
DANNY: This is serious.
MIKE: Shoot.
Delinda offered to fix me up.
Is there something pathetic about that? MIKE: Yes.
DANNY: There is, right? Dumps you and then pities you.
I am very capable of finding my own women, thank you very much.
Or one finding you? Well, I think I hear cars honking.
I'm gonna get back to the valet.
So? So, you just kissed me out of nowhere the other day.
MARY: And? [Stammering.]
And it was MARY: Hi.
Did you guys use the free buffet tickets? - She enjoys the crab of king.
- Maybe now you'll come up at roulette.
We have very little left, very few savings.
But I had no choice.
I saw red.
Maybe tomorrow I'll see black.
- Or maybe red again.
- Cosme, we have nothing left to gamble.
My lucky $5 chip.
There is more to Vegas than gambling: Shows and museums and fine dining.
MARY: We even have a Triple-A baseball team, the 51s.
Yes, we came here to see Mr.
Wayne Newton.
A vacation we paid for before Cosme got laid off.
We tried to cash it in, but we couldn't.
And what better way to change your luck than a trip here? To see Mr.
Las Vegas himself, Wayne Newton.
[Singing.]
Asking where I've been But now we can't see him because you saw red.
Don't worry, Leonor.
I'll win all our savings back, and then some.
My husband is a good man, but he's full of dreams.
And you cannot live on dreams.
You know what I think you should do? You should save that lucky $5 chip to help you find a new job.
And while you're here, you will see Wayne Newton, I'll get you free tickets.
Thank you.
Danke Schoen.
Cosme tries to sing like him in the shower.
Well, maybe Wayne will turn his luck around.
I hope so.
ELLIOT: How long has this place been here? SAM: About three weeks.
SAM: It's already the hottest club in town.
MICHAEL: Spicy.
ELLIOT: How long have we been here? MICHAEL: At least 20 minutes.
This is Vegas, man, all right? I got to bet on something.
Your table's gonna be ready in seconds.
I got it for you.
- $10,000 says those are implants.
- No.
You're on.
Those are real.
See how they bounce? ELLIOT: Yeah, those are real.
[Cell phone ringing.]
Look at this.
Table's ready.
Table 44.
SAM: Guys, your table's so ready.
MICHAEL: How are you? ELLIOT: Hi.
My friend and I, we just made a little wager.
I'm saying that those fabulous curves of yours there those magnificent, spectacular breasts are store-bought.
And I believe that your lovely hooters are all natural.
Does that mean they're fake or real? - I don't know.
What do you think? - I'd call that a push.
Okay, so the new lockboxes will be installed on [Sensual rock music.]
Monday.
Hey.
[Sensual rock music stops.]
DANNY: Everything okay? He doesn't seem to understand the meaning of "I don't want a back rub.
" Why don't you have a seat right over here? I think you're making my friend uncomfortable.
DANNY: I'm gonna ask you to leave the pool area for a bit.
- Your friend? - Yeah.
- My friend.
- Really? Yeah.
I could have swore she was just another Vegas pool bitch.
Okay, first, she's way out of your league.
Second, when I kick your ass in front of these people it's gonna take years of therapy just to get over the embarrassment.
Beat it.
All right.
I'll catch you.
What did you say to him? I just told him we're getting married tomorrow.
Well, that doesn't give us much time to get acquainted.
I'm Shelly.
[Sensual rock music resumes.]
Danny.
DANNY: So how long are you in town? SHELLY: Till Thursday.
You know, since we are getting married tomorrow I figure that we should do some kind of rehearsal dinner tonight.
I don't know about dinner, but we should definitely rehearse something.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
SAM: Welcome, gentlemen.
Table 44 awaits.
SAM: There we go.
You guys have my private cell.
If there's anything else you need, please do not hesitate to call me.
Have fun.
Wait.
- Something's off.
- What? - Did you guys change the stools? - The stools? No.
I don't think so.
Did we? We may have a rotated a few for routine maintenance.
I think maybe you have, because our stools are green.
- Am I right? - I'm afraid he is.
Yeah, we can't play on these.
- I'll call facilities management.
- Please call them.
SAM: Maybe you'd like to MICHAEL: Get a Rudy's chilli burger? Yes, we would! Yes.
Great.
I'll have a limo outside for you in five minutes.
With you driving, I hope.
We don't like professional drivers.
- I don't really like to drive, so - Sam.
It's not really our style, but we don't want to have to take our action over to the Palms.
- I would love to drive.
- Nice! MICHAEL: Fabulous! SAM: I will meet you outside at about 5:00.
- Great idea.
- Five-ish.
Could you get me two tickets for Wayne Newton tonight? He's sold out, and our VIP allotment's gone.
- Can you call someone? - I can't even get us tickets.
Maybe some VIPs would trade them in Unless their line of credit exceeds Belgium's GNP, it ain't gonna happen.
- It's for this sweet couple.
- I can't give you what I don't have.
He blew his savings.
I'm sorry for him.
His idol's Wayne Newton.
Yeah.
DANNY: So, I think you'll like Peel.
Yeah? Well, I've been dying to get in there.
- Thanks for taking me.
- My pleasure.
You know what, I actually left my ChapStick in the room.
SHELLY: I'm gonna jump into the gift shop.
DANNY: Okay.
- Who's your friend? - Hey.
You know, just someone I met.
Which reminds me, I'm gonna have to take a pass on that fix-up thing.
They're really nice.
I'm sure they are, but I'm gonna be pretty booked for the next few weeks.
Okay.
Well, I better get back to my date.
It's not good to keep the ladies waiting.
Maybe I can double with you and your date sometime.
Sounds good.
So, who would you bring? I got a little action for you, buddy.
$10,000 says this elevator right here.
- This one right here opens first.
- That one? - This one right here.
- You're on.
MICHAEL: Okay? $10,000.
ELLIOT: Yeah.
You're on.
SAM: Of course you're not outside, because you're here.
Rudy's chilli burger? I think this one's gonna open first.
Mikey's got that one.
Come on.
ELLIOT AND MICHAEL: Mine opened first.
- Mine did.
- Are you kidding me? ELLIOT: You think yours opened first? How could you say that? - Sam? - I'm sorry, I didn't see.
- How could you not see? - I turned around - Check the surveillance camera.
- The tapes.
- There we go.
- I can talk to somebody.
ELLIOT: Nice.
- Who runs the tapes? - I'm gonna take care of that for you.
MICHAEL: Sam? SAM: Let's keep moving.
- How far is it to Laughlin? - About 100 miles.
Why? ELLIOT: She can get us there and back in under three hours.
Except I'm not doing any illegal driving, so $50,000 says we don't make it back for at least three hours.
- I'll take that bet.
Sam? - Yes? - We're going to Laughlin.
- Road trip.
NEWTON: Good rehearsal, guys.
Thanks.
Wayne Newton! Where? Oh, my God! This is beyond amazing.
MARY: I have lived here my entire life, and never run into you.
I've seen your show like five, six times, but to run into you In the Wayne Newton Theater, who would have thought of that? But it's especially unbelievable because I was just talking about Hi, I'm Mary Connell.
I'm Director of Special Events - for the Montecito.
- Montecito? - Ed's a dear friend of mine.
- Oh, really? Yeah, Ed's a great guy.
- Listen, Mr.
Newton.
I know that - Wayne, please.
[Laughing excitedly.]
Look, normally, I would never do anything like this.
It's just not me.
But there's this sweet couple staying at our hotel and they're really down on their luck, and they just love you.
- Really? - Yeah, and your show is all sold out.
And I can't get any more tickets, and I know it's an imposition but if there's any way I could just get two.
Consider it done.
- Really? - Really.
I'll stop talking now.
Thank you so much.
Thank you, Mary.
Thank you! [Energetic dance music.]
[People cheering.]
SHELLY: Come on.
I need another drink.
Your wish is my command.
Another Vegas Special.
I have to go to the ladies' room.
DANNY: Hurry back.
[Sighs.]
- What can I get you? - Vegas Special and a beer, please.
BARTENDER: Decided to come up for air? DANNY: Oh, man! BARTENDER: I saw you two over there.
DANNY: The girl is crazy.
If that's crazy, do me a favour and lock me up in the asylum.
Busy in here tonight.
Britney and Christina had a catfight by the fire pit.
- Yeah, who won? - Every guy out here.
[Both laughing.]
I think someone's calling.
Oh.
SHELLY: You know what? I need you to do something before we both get arrested.
- What's that? - Get us a room.
Now.
[Band playing rock music.]
[Singing.]
We're caught in a trap [Audience cheering.]
[Singing.]
I can't walk out Because I love you too much baby Why can't you see What you're doing to me When you don't believe a word I'm saying? We can't go on together With suspicious minds We can't build our dreams On suspicious minds [Romantic instrumental music.]
NEWTON: [Singing.]
Please let our love survive Or dry the tears from your eyes Whoa, don't let a good thing die 'Cause, baby Baby I'll never, never lie to you BACKUP SINGERS: [Singing.]
No NEWTON: [Singing.]
No BACKUP SINGERS: [Singing.]
No, no NEWTON: [Singing.]
No, no We're caught in a trap I can't walk out Because I love you too much baby Why can't you see What you're doing to me When you don't believe a word I'm saying? NEWTON: "Why can't you see.
" Sing it.
[Singing.]
Why can't you see NEWTON: "What you're doing to me.
" [Singing.]
What you're doing to me NEWTON: You know this song, don't you? When you don't believe the words I'm saying? NEWTON: Good one.
Here, come on.
BACKUP SINGERS: [Singing.]
Why can't you see What you're doing to me When you don't believe NEWTON: [Singing.]
a word I'm saying NEWTON AND COSME: We're caught in a trap And I can't walk out Because I love you too much baby And why can't you see What you're doing to me When you don't believe the words I'm saying? We can't go on together With suspicious minds And we can't build our dreams On suspicious minds - Who is this guy? - That's Cosme from Fresno.
- He's good.
- Yes! NEWTON AND COSME: [Singing.]
Would I still see suspicion in your eyes? Here we go again Asking where I've been When you don't see the tears I'm crying Suspicious minds Suspicious minds Suspicious minds [Audience cheering.]
All right! [Cell phone ringing.]
SHELLY: Let it ring.
Please, let it ring.
DANNY: If it were anyone else, I would.
Yeah? We just got a call about a diamond bracelet being lifted in the ladies' room at Peel.
ED: Anyway, it seems this woman was crying about some abusive boyfriend.
The victim gives her a sympathy hug and 10 minutes later, she notices her bracelet's gone.
Anyway, the height, weight, everything matches that girl that ripped off Delinda.
[Racy instrumental music.]
Yeah, I'm all over it.
[Car horn honking.]
DANNY: Can I see your purse? SHELLY: Why? DANNY: I have a really embarrassing confession to make.
DANNY: I think I just made love to a thief.
- Okay, I have a confession, too.
- Save it for the police.
Please.
I can return the bracelet.
There's a reason I took it.
The same reason you dumped phoney chips at Montecito? I didn't know what else to do.
You know the guy harassing me at the pool? It wasn't the only time.
He followed me here.
He's been threatening me.
He's Ray Duran.
Really? I owe him $8,000, and I don't have it and I am scared.
I just want to pay him and get him out of my life.
You know, that's all very moving and everything but unfortunately stupidity isn't a legal defence, even in Las Vegas.
Danny, he said that he would kill me if I don't pay.
I know this is wrong, but I don't know what else to do.
What do I do? If Duran is really following you it'll be on the surveillance tapes.
I work surveillance and security at the Montecito, believe it or not.
Check the tape, Danny.
I'm not lying.
COSME: Thank you.
Singing was special for me, too.
I'm a big fan of Mr.
Newton, as are you.
- He's quite a singer.
- Suspicious Minds sounds very different in Tagalog.
WOMEN: Bye.
Thank you.
- You were great.
- Very nice.
So, have you performed with Wayne before? I have not.
Indeed, a dream come true.
- Any gigs back in - Frankly, I am without employment.
I was laid off.
Downsizing.
The whole plant lost their jobs.
I'm Johnny Joosten, and I run the Bella Sera Lounge at the Montecito.
You come in.
First round's on me.
You see? His card is red.
My singing is bringing us good luck! [Sings in Tagalog.]
Suspicious minds [Mary and Leonor laughing.]
[Car horn honking.]
Now those are the ones.
Oh, my God.
That's sweet.
- That's a beautiful thing.
- Nice.
MICHAEL: Beautiful.
Like the old days.
[Both sigh contentedly.]
MICHAEL: Except where's Julio? ELLIOT: That's not Julio.
- Julio always deals our first hand.
- Who's Julio? Just the greatest blackjack dealer on The Strip.
This guy used to deal cards for Bugsy Siegel.
Sam, I thought you knew.
He always deals our first hand.
You got to find Julio.
Julio retired last year.
Yes, I will find Julio.
DANNY: All right, she was wearing a red wig when Delinda ran into her.
That's her natural hair colour.
And, okay, this is Duran, the guy that she said is threatening her.
ED: Pull up Duran's file, please.
[Computer beeping.]
This lowlife.
"Duran.
Arrested: Assault, extortion, assault, loan sharking.
" Did five years of an 8-10 year sentence.
Did she say why she owed this guy some money? She scammed him.
Does Shelly have a sheet? ED: No.
No, I mean unless that's not her real name.
Where is she anyway? Conference room.
Maybe she is telling the truth.
I imagine you'd like to think so.
I guess I'll go talk to the little lady.
ED: Right, lover boy? [Slow instrumental music.]
ED: I'm Ed Deline.
SHELLY: Hi.
ED: You know, this situation we have here it's just got a lot of strange angles, Shelly.
ED: Do you mind? SHELLY: Yeah.
ED: Thank you.
For example you know the girl that you took for the phoney chips? That was my daughter.
- I didn't know.
- Of course not.
I mean, how the heck could you know? And, I don't think you're that dumb.
It has nothing to do with the fact that Ray Duran wants to kill me.
So assuming that we can find this creditor of yours my plan is to What? Convince him to forgive the debt? Thank you.
Then you and he will go your separate ways and neither of you will ever darken the Montecito's doorways again, correct? Done.
No problem.
Excuse me.
Hi.
I'm looking for Julio Carbonal? Hi.
Mr.
Carbonal? How would you like to come back to work for the Montecito? Okay, well, I'll take that as a "yes.
" All right, let's find this guy.
Give me Camera 42 on P1.
Yes.
All right, can I get a shot of his face on P2? DANNY: All right, zoom in on that.
MAN: Zooming in.
DANNY: Little further.
MAN: Okay.
All right, freeze that.
Split it, put it on P3.
Give me a side by side.
MAN: Freezing and splitting.
Bingo.
Security.
Video poker, Bank 8, Seat 3.
The guy in the black muscle tee.
Watch him till I get down there.
[Upbeat instrumental music.]
[Elevator bell dings.]
DANNY: Hey! [Gasps.]
We have a winner.
[People cheering.]
So what are we gonna do with you, Ray? RAY: You better kill me, man.
Because when I get out of here, I'm going straight to the cops.
I'm gonna report you for assault kidnapping and unlawful restraint.
- Dude, you had a light wand on you.
- I didn't use it.
[Danny and Ed laughing.]
That doesn't really matter.
See? - Whoa, man.
- What? I didn't use it.
But it's illegal.
You walk into my casino with a cheating device, and you go to jail.
Look, man, all you've got to do is get Shelly to give me what she owes me.
She tells me 20 times she's got it and 20 times she doesn't pay me.
Instead, she leaves town.
What the hell am I supposed to do? Call a lawyer? A collection agency? Look, I followed her here, man.
And I'm gonna keep following her till I get my money.
Well, exactly how much does she owe you? $8,000.
$8,000.
So that would be $6,000.
So if we get your money, you'll leave her alone? I get my money, I never want to see that bitch again.
Danny give him your watch.
DANNY: What? ED: Give him your watch.
I'm not giving You give him your watch.
ED: Danny.
DANNY: I'm not giving him my watch.
Give him your watch.
[Laughing.]
DANNY: Okay.
ED: Hey! This is a Chronoswiss Classic.
It's 18-carat gold.
Retails at $10,000.
- $12,000.
- $12,000.
ED: So I don't want to see you anywhere near her.
Is that clear? - It's a deal.
- Get the hell out of here.
Right now.
RAY: See you.
[Car horn honking.]
[Chuckles.]
ELLIOT: Now we're talking.
MICHAEL: Look who's here.
SAM: Julio, I believe you remember these gentlemen.
Julio, what's happening, man? Be good to me, Julio.
- Marker, $10,000, please.
- Ditto.
Two markers.
NESSA: Julio, marker, $10,000.
Marker, $10,000.
- Attaboy, Julio.
- There you go.
You know what? I think we need to hold the deal.
I'm not sure he's up for this.
MICHAEL: No.
He's fine.
Aren't you, Julio? - Come on.
Deal them up, buddy.
- I'm sorry, this is my fault.
I should haven't let this happen.
Shall I take you home? No, would you just Let him deal the first hand, and our tradition will be preserved.
Michael, Elliot, you're valued guests.
I feel I've done everything I can to make you happy but I'm sure you understand I don't want to embarrass Julio here.
Sam, we just thought that maybe he could Well, he can't.
If another dealer's unacceptable, then you can gamble elsewhere.
Oh, yes.
[Elliot moans.]
MICHAEL: Thank you.
- You owe me $100,000.
- I thought for sure she would last longer.
What do I have to do with this? - We had a little bet.
- Not so little.
Just a private wager to see how long it would take - To drive me crazy? - Yeah, and I won.
Yeah.
Julio, thank you.
Hook him up.
No problem, guys.
See you next year.
SAM: Julio? They pull something different every year.
How are you, Sam? MICHAEL: Something wrong? ELLIOT: What? Sam.
She's not mad at us, is she? Well, with Sam, you can never tell, but, you know, hell hath no fury.
Hey, I was looking for you guys.
- Free Sex on the Beach.
- He means our beverages.
Please sit.
Our new friend, Johnny, is joining us later.
I can't right now, but I have something for you, Cosme.
COSME: Thank you very much.
"From your biggest fan, Wayne Newton, Mr.
Las Vegas.
" There's something else.
Wayne Newton's bow tie.
[Leonor gasps.]
How can I thank you? By going home and staying out of trouble.
Yeah.
- Can I see you again? - Yeah, any time you're back.
- I want you to come visit me in Phoenix.
- Okay.
Did I give you the number at my parents' house? Yeah.
Yeah.
[Shelly laughs softly.]
[Romantic pop song.]
- Call me.
- All right.
[Car horn honking.]
DANNY: Hey.
And here I thought you liked me.
Right here, officers.
Conspiracy, grand theft, fraud, take your pick.
[Chuckles.]
MICHAEL: Could you look at this? This bill is wrong.
We don't get a bill.
That's right.
Same weekend every year, we're comped.
This is stupid.
Can you get Sam Marquez? She'll clear this up.
That's $86,000.
See, it's not It's insane.
We're not doing that.
I'm sorry, sir.
There are outstanding charges from previous visits.
Back to 1993.
- Wait a minute.
- 19 We were comped, then.
Right? We were comped.
- Every year, we're comped.
- We get comped ELLIOT: Sam.
ELLIOT: Could you come over here? SAM: Can I help you? Yeah.
Could you explain to Virginia here that we're fully comped? She's giving us a bill here for the last 10 years.
The two of you were comped? [Chuckles.]
That's very funny.
Yes, we're cracking up.
I'm sorry, I usually remember all of my clients, but it's an awfully large hotel.
- Yeah.
- I can check with hospitality services.
Sam, look, if this is your idea of a joke, I'm not laughing.
I mean, she's charging my credit card $86,000 here.
Nice.
Think of the miles.
Did you get them back? Front desk is gonna let them freak out for a few minutes and then blame it on the computer.
- You're bad.
- I know.
DANNY: She could've been telling the truth, you know? ED: Yeah, she could, but she wasn't.
And that's why Duran isn't wearing the real - What the hell do you call this? - Bling.
Bling.
I was onto her, too, you know? Is that before or after your pants were off? It's a good thing he didn't check the fake one too closely? Well, con men are greedy.
Greedy people are easy marks.
Anyway, if you couldn't get over a second stringer like that Duran I would have been even more disappointed than I am.
More disappointed? Ed, they're both in custody.
I'm disappointed in your social life management.
>From an angel to the devil.
Well, possibly, someday I'll find the humour in that.
DANNY: Hi, ladies.
BOTH: Hey.
SAM: Delinda was just telling me you fell for a blonde.
Wait, a redhead? Wait.
A brunette.
You know, I'm glad that Ed decided to tell everybody that.
Who's the naive mark, now? Well, I guess it's me.
[Both laughing.]
DELINDA: Hey, guys.
I'll see you in a few.
- Are those the - My friends who wanted to meet you? DELINDA: Yeah.
DANNY: Twins.
Too bad.
DELINDA: You snooze, you lose.
SAM: You're so predictable.
[Singing.]
Danke Schoen Darling, Danke Schoen Thank you for all the joy and pain LEONOR: May I take your order? - You work here now? - Mr.
Johnny Joosten hired us.
We should not go back to Fresno.
Cosme's adoring fans are here.
Well, welcome to Las Vegas.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
COSME: [Singing.]
Darling, Danke Schoen Thank you for walks down Lover's Lane I can see, hearts carved on a tree Letters inter-twined, for all time my heart says, Danke Schoen Danke Schoen Oh darling, Danke Schoen Thank you for seeing me again I can see, hearts carved on a tree Letters inter-twined, for all time my heart says, Danke Schoen