MacGyver (2016) s01e07 Episode Script

1 MacGYVER: When I was 12 years old, I found a stray dog in the woods behind my house.
He wasn't much to look at, but we got along.
I named the dog Archimedes, after the famous mathematician, and my grandfather said I could keep him if I did all the work.
Sounded like a sweet deal.
I mean, how much work could one dog be? But I quickly realized that this dog was a born escape artist.
At least once a week, I found myself chasing him all over the neighborhood.
JACK: (panting) What is this guy, like an Olympic sprinter or something? Yeah, didn't you read his file, Jack? Special skills include stealing top secret information with his phone (singsongy): and 100 meter dash.
Yeah.
I hear the sarcasm, I'm just too tired to appreciate it.
RILEY: He's heading for the northeast exit.
You might be able to head him off if you turn right now.
Riley, how much longer until you fry this guy's phone with your space laser? Okay, first, stop calling it a space laser.
Second, I'm writing a code complex enough to wipe a locked, encrypted phone from 7,000 miles away.
Whatever, Riley! I just need an E.
T.
A, not a dissertation.
Aah! Mac, just let me shoot him, please! Can't.
Thornton's orders.
Pentagon wants him alive.
He won't be dead, he'll just be shot.
Come on! Jack, keep up! Okay, guys.
We got a problem.
Those stacked containers he just ran into? They're blocking the line-of-sight from the GPS satellites.
I'm going blind.
Actually, I-I got an idea.
You go! Wait a minute, you really have an idea, or are you just trying to get out of running? Jack, go! You're just trying to get out of running! MacGYVER: We tried everything to contain Archimedes, but that dog jumped fences, chewed through cages, even tunneled under walls.
So, Gramps had an invisible fence installed around our yard.
He said the next time Archimedes tried to escape, his collar would give him a good shock.
(grunts) For me, shocking Archimedes was a non-starter.
So, I took his collar apart and replaced the zapper with a speaker that emitted a high frequency only dogs could hear.
Archimedes never escaped again, and I did it without hurting him, because I loved that dog.
This Serbian double agent on the other hand, well Jack, I need a spark right there! The Pentagon said alive.
Not unharmed.
(laughs) You're welcome.
BOZER: Got one.
It's perfect.
One bed, one bath.
And it's in the Hills.
Well, that one would've been perfect, until someone rented it three days ago.
Damn.
(chuckles) Yeah, well, it's L.
A.
2016, you know.
Things move fast.
Even online, everything I find in my price range is already rented.
I mean, I guess you could always bunk here.
You know, Mac and I can turn the attic into a third bedroom.
Nice try.
But I'm not moving in with you.
And Mac, all right? Like a Three's Company situation.
But with better clothes.
Thanks, but I went from my mom's house to a supermax, to a corporate apartment set up by the Phoenix.
I've never had a place that was just mine, you know? I get it.
You're an independent woman.
I'm the same way.
But you know a dude.
(clears throat) Right.
I know it sounds silly, but for the first time, I have a real job, some money in my pocket.
All I need is a home, and maybe I can finally put everything else in my rearview.
All right.
All right, what about this place? It's definitely you hip, edgy, and one hell of a view.
Listed 20 minutes ago, and it's already rented.
(phone clicking) What are you doing? I clicked the link.
It's gone.
I'm gonna get you a link nobody's clicked yet.
(phone crackles) (English accent): Good day, sir.
I'm inquiring about the flat on Franklin, Yes, sir, I understand it's been rented, but it's a shame.
You see, your property was perfect for my associate, Miss Riley Davis.
Let me assure you she is a dream tenant with a thriving career at a most prestigious local think tank.
So, I thought I'd just ring you up and see if you had any more flats available? You do? And it's not even online yet? Brilliant.
Uh, we'll be over there in a tick.
Cheers.
Boom! I'm impressed.
Give me your phone.
Uh, I thought I only got these for helping out with your parole officer.
You get one when you do something to deserve one.
Did I mention I'm an expert mover? (chuckles) So? (laughter) Congratulations.
I move in this weekend.
JACK: Oh, nice.
Hey, listen, if you need a discount on some lightly used neon beer signs, I'm your boy.
Can I get back to you on that? Good morning.
Congratulations on the apartment.
How'd you know? We're spies.
We got a call about a credit check.
Sorry, but the moving in will have to wait.
This is Joaquin "El Noche" Sancola.
Former head of the Merida cartel.
Oh, yeah, I remember this guy.
Didn't he tunnel his way out of a Mexican prison? RILEY: Yeah.
DEA had to catch him again and lock him up stateside.
Ooh, I'm smelling some vacation time, I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but it's gonna be a really easy week catching a guy who's already behind bars.
Actually, him being behind bars is the problem.
Hmm, what do you mean? Since the U.
S.
locked up El Noche, his lieutenants have unleashed an unprecedented wave of violence against law enforcement Federales, DEA agents and their families have all been killed.
El Noche could be brutal, but he was a businessman.
These new lieutenants are barbarians.
The cartel is run out of a secret stronghold somewhere on the Yucatan peninsula.
We may not know where the compound is, but El Noche does.
And we know exactly where he is.
Serving time in a maximum security prison in Texas.
Oh, yeah, look at that.
Hook 'em, Horns.
So, we're supposed to get El Noche to do what? Tell us where his secret hideout is? Actually, I was thinking that he could show us, after we help him escape from prison.
Oh, nice.
THORNTON: Once he's out, like a wasp, he'll fly back home to his nest, and he'll lead us right back to his stronghold.
Then we take him and his lieutenants down, and end the Merida reign of terror once and for all.
Yeah, that's one of the craziest plans I've ever heard and I love it.
How we expected to make this happen? MacGYVER: Yep, this is the plan.
Me.
Except, I'm not me anymore.
According to the rap sheet Thornton and Riley whipped up, I'm Frank Morris, a mechanical engineer who ripped off the very bank vault he designed for a living.
And apparently, I've broken out of prison.
- Twice.
- (men hollering) Bishop Correctional is home to the worst of the worst.
Murderers, gang bangers, psychopaths.
And a whole lot of guys that make them look like choir boys.
When I was just a baby, my mama told me, son To always be a good boy And guess who has to go in clean? That means no comms, no gear, no Swiss Army knife.
Just to watch him die But I do have a few angels looking over my shoulder.
When I hear that whistle blowing I hang my head and cry And I'd let that lonesome whistle Blow my blues away.
(indistinct chatter) (softly): Breathe.
Just breathe.
Sorry.
I'm just nervous.
It's not easy in there.
THORNTON: He's a trained operative.
He'll be fine.
You survived prison, didn't you? Barely.
And there wasn't a day that went by where I didn't think I might not see the next one.
Home, sweet home.
MacGYVER: So, now all I got to do is approach a notorious drug lord, get him to trust me, break us both out of one of the toughest prisons in the country, and then score myself an invite back to his hideout in Mexico.
Oh, and did I mention that in the 22 years since this prison opened its doors, not one person has ever escaped? Sorry.
Turns out, 16 straight hours of prison surveillance is some pretty good nightmare fuel.
Look, I know this op isn't exactly bringing back good memories, but you have to work smart.
Pace yourself.
It could take days or weeks for Mac to make contact and gain El Noche's trust.
Then we still have the small task of breaking them both out of prison.
So go home, get some rest.
I'll go home when Mac comes home.
Looks like you got into their system no problem.
Actually, we have a big problem.
Last night they ran a security update and patched the hole in their system I was using as a backdoor.
Can you hack in another way? Not without setting off all their alarms and blowing our whole operation.
Believe me, I spent the whole night trying, and all I've been able to do is access their cameras.
Someone like me wanted to make sure someone like me didn't take control.
(cell phone rings) Hey, now's not a good time, sexy mama, okay? I'm just getting in to work.
I understand, Jack, but we have a bit of a situation here.
What kind of a situation, hon? Riley's been locked out of the prison control systems.
We can keep an eye on you via security cam, but that's about all we can do from here.
Well, then, how in the hell are we supposed to get Mac out of here? I thought Riley was gonna magically open some doors for him or something.
That was the plan.
Now we need a new one.
Oh, well, then, we'll just have to postpone dinner with your mama, sugarlump.
I love you, too, babe.
Okay.
(indistinct chatter) MacGYVER: Riley warned me my first day wouldn't be easy.
Listen to me.
It's just like the first day of school, except some of the other kids in there have actually killed people.
MacGYVER: But hey, at least the food's awesome.
(coughing) (sucking inhaler) (man wheezing) Are you out of meds? Plenty of medicine.
It just won't spray.
Been asking for a new one for six months.
May I? (spray whoosh) Give it a try.
(man exhales) I don't like owing anybody anything, so I'll pay you back with some advice.
You shouldn't have even talked to me in the first place.
In here, there are no friends, only enemies.
If you want to survive, mind your own damn business.
MacGYVER: I wish I could follow the old guy's advice.
I really do.
But for this plan to work, I need to do more than just survive in here.
I need to win El Noche's trust.
And to do that, I'm going to have to follow some of Riley's advice.
No one trusts a coward.
You just show El Noche you're not afraid.
Is the "find the biggest guy and punch him" speech? Not exactly.
RILEY: Prison is all about cliques.
Punch the wrong guy, and you're beefing with his whole crew.
You need someone with no friends, no affiliations.
I went through the inmate files and found your guy.
Vincent Heath, in for armed robbery, his third.
Guy's a loner.
He's mixed it up with every major gang in the joint, which makes him perfect.
You got a problem with me? No, this is gonna hurt.
(inmates cheering) Damn it, Mac, I said pick a fight with him, not let him use your face as a speed bag.
(cell phone ringing) Hey, how's our boy doing? Not good.
Get to the yard, quick.
(alarm buzzing) (Heath groaning) Big fight in the yard! GUARD: Stop that fight! Drop it! Break it up.
Break it up! Back off! You're dead! On your feet! You heard me, I said get up.
On your feet! I know this was part of the plan, but you could have at least waited until I was here to get your back.
Hands against the wall! Funny thing about being locked up is it makes you impatient to get out.
Besides, I think it worked.
(grunting) I just need a little one-on-one time.
Have Riley put me on his work detail.
I would if I could, but Riley can't Riley her way into the prison's computers right now.
- Don't worry, I'll think of something.
- Okay.
Hey, since we've been, uh, standing over here chitchatting so long in front of everybody, I think it's only fair that I rough you up a little bit, okay? - What? - Ready? I said don't eyeball me, convict! Let's go! (quietly): Sorry, sorry.
(door squeaks) For a smart guy, you're pretty damn dumb.
How many old guys you see in here? You think I lasted this long by making trouble? Great book.
I've already read it.
Not this copy.
(inhales, exhales) Use those sparingly.
The way you're making friends, you'll need 'em.
MAN (over intercom): Deputy Warden to H-Block.
Deputy Warden to H-Block.
We have a personnel problem.
All right, I'm in.
Let's hack into their system and change Mac's work assignment.
Yeah, it's not really hacking, Jack.
Hang on a second.
RILEY: The Deputy Warden's computer isn't networked, so it's just an ordinary PC.
Okay, there you go.
(computer beeps, blips) Yes.
I knew that was it.
"Jail" what an idiot.
I just bypassed his password.
It was in sleep mode, Jack.
Oh.
You literally could have hit any key.
- Okay.
- All right, let's see if you can Forrest Gump your way through this.
Mm-hmm.
You see that file on the desktop labeled "work detail"? - Mm-mm.
- On the computer desktop.
- Yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah, okay.
- Click that.
All right, scroll down.
Mm-hmm.
Okay, stop.
All right, now highlight that line that says Mac's name and inmate number and hit control-X.
- Okay.
- Now scroll down and click right where it says "laundry," and hit control-V.
(bleeps, blips) Done.
That's some pretty serious hacker skills, isn't it, Riley? You changed an entry in a spreadsheet, Jack.
You could maybe get fired from an accounting firm.
Yeah, well, I feel like a hacker.
But more importantly, now Mac and Nacho Cheese can spend some high-quality time together.
(machinery droning) Two million.
What's that? I'm busting out of here and, uh, for two million, I'll let you tag along.
Really? What makes me so lucky? When I get out of here, I'm gonna need some money to disappear.
So a little birdie told me you were the only guy in here with some real cash.
You know what they say about birds.
They don't live very long.
Actually, a Laysan Albatross can live up to 40 years.
I read a lot.
So you're a smart guy.
I'm smart enough to know who you are.
You bought yourself a nice life in here, but it'd be much better on the outside.
Go on and get out of here, go.
Go! These are the Manos Sangrientas.
Soldiers from a rival cartel trying to muscle in on El Noche's business.
If you want to get close to El Noche, you got to know the other players involved.
It's time for you to call your people.
There's plenty of territory to go around.
We just want a split.
And you don't want a war.
MacGYVER: When you can't get your hands on a 45-pound plate, a towel soaked in water can pack a hell of a punch.
Add some powdered bleach to give it a little sting.
Wrap the whole thing in a sheet for extra range, and you've got yourself a weapon from the Middle Ages called a flail.
Time to get medieval on these guys.
Big mistake, smart guy! (grunts) This is a war, and you just picked a side and a chance those two vatos are gonna kill the both of us! Not if we escape.
Open two! You eyeballing me, convict? No.
Don't backtalk me, boy.
Out of line.
I know I'm pretty, but I ain't that pretty.
Hands on the bars.
Arms up.
Arms up.
So what about, uh, what about El Nacho? He say yes? He agree to it? El Noche? - Whatever.
- No.
But I think he will.
All right, that's good.
In the meantime, I'm gonna need you to get me a few things.
Yeah, yeah, I'll get you whatever you want.
Let's go.
Hey, new guy.
Uh, name's Derek, sir.
I was just gonna get some much-needed supplies.
Well, they can wait.
We're short-staffed on D-Block.
Get your ass over there.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir, I'll just get those supplies I was talking about and I'll head right over.
You'll head right over now.
Move it.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
(line ringing) Hey, sweetheart.
We got a major problemo.
I just got reassigned to D-Block before I could get Mac the supplies he needs.
It's nowhere near his cell.
I might as well be on another planet, all the help I'm gonna be.
RILEY: The op's blown.
We got to pull Mac out.
No, I'm not ready to scrub the mission.
Mac's life is at stake.
Listen.
I know Mac would not want to be pulled out just yet.
Look, I may not know Mac as well as you or Jack, but I know prison.
And when things go bad, they go bad fast.
If we don't pull Mac out, we might not get another chance.
Hey, okay, I get it, Riley, but I'm with Patti.
I say we leave him.
If anybody can figure this out on his own, it's Mac.
But he doesn't know he's on his own, Jack.
He doesn't even know you're not coming back with the supplies he needs.
Yeah, well, I guess he'll have to figure that part out, too.
MacGYVER: Funny thing inside these walls time doesn't stand still, It disappears completely.
The minutes get longer and longer.
Hours stretch until they feel like an eternity.
I haven't exactly been able to watch a clock, but I know Jack is taking way too long to get back to me with the stuff I asked for.
Which is a big problem.
I wasn't 100% sure I could break out of this place with Jack's help.
And now, I really don't know if I can do it alone.
(electric crackling) (locks clicking) You got a new roommate.
I used the last of my favors with the guards to be transferred in here with you.
Los Manos Sangrientas will be looking for us soon.
So, are you gonna break us out of here or do I have to kill you myself? Uh, let's try the first one.
What's your plan? First, let's make our deal clear.
I get us out of the prison, you get us out of the country.
That can be arranged.
Then I want a house somewhere in Mexico so I can lay low until the heat dies down.
You do everything you say, I'll give you anything you want.
Good.
Just so you know, once we get out of here it's all on you.
I'll make the call.
You get us past these walls, my men will take care of the rest.
There are a lot of walls and bars between here and there.
How do you plan to get past them? Batteries and salt.
"Batteries and salt" that's your plan? Well, yeah, I mean, we need water, too, but we already have that.
GUARD: A-Block's all clear.
I'm going to lunch.
(groans) Watch yourself, fish.
A little gift for you.
Last door on the right.
MacGYVER: Ah, lunchtime.
That would be our daily helping of Nutraloaf.
Now, Nutraloaf is a mash-up of cafeteria leftovers that provides all the nutrition a growing inmate needs.
Plus a few thousand grams of salt to mask the taste.
Terrible for the body, but, thankfully, I didn't plan on eating it.
So, now you're making soup in the toilet? (chuckles) N-No, not soup.
Hydrogen.
The salt in the Nutraloaf acts as an electrolyte.
Combine that with the current from a battery and you get electrolysis of water.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Well I'm splitting the water molecule into oxygen and hydrogen.
Anyways, uh hydrogen likes to go ka-boom.
So, you're gonna blow this whole cell up with us inside? Yeah.
Well, I mean, we got to get the door open somehow.
Okay.
So, what do we do now? Now we wait.
So, where did you learn to do all this? I've always been good at figuring things out.
Never really all that good at following the rules.
Before I was in a cage, I used to design them.
Used to build safes and vaults for banks, businesses billionaires.
Problem was I liked picking locks better than I liked designing them.
I got greedy.
Got caught with my hand in a cookie jar that I'd built.
So is your toilet ready? Only one way to find out.
Give me a hand with this bed.
Yeah.
I think it worked.
Could you hand me that string down there? What are these for? I'm about to spike the air pressure in here by about two degrees of magnitude, so either these go in your ears or blood comes out.
It's up to you.
One other fun fact about hydrogen? It's lighter than air.
That's what kept the Hindenburg up in the sky until it didn't.
Take this.
Wrap it around your head and get underneath.
With the air vent and the window sealed by newspaper, the hydrogen I've been making in the toilet has been gathering at the ceiling for hours.
And since every gallon of water, when broken down, produces about 4,000 liters of gaseous hydrogen, well this is going to get loud.
(alarm ringing) You got any more tricks up your sleeve? GUARD: Get this door open now! All these doors are locked! Actually, this one isn't! GUARD: Get this door open now! (groans) How you going to deal with them now, smart guy? GUARD: Get the door! Uh, I don't know, but I'll think of something.
Come on! Hurry up! Open the door! - Hey, what's going on?! - Mac's in trouble in A-Block.
We need a diversion.
Now.
Code red! Code red! Uh, I got another inmate! They're, uh they're-they're trying to escape! They're trying to escape, uh They're in the kitchen! They're in the kitchen! Inmates, they're, uh they're in the kitchen.
Stay here in case they backtrack.
You three! With me! Move! I got this.
No! The hell are you doing?! Just in case we don't make it out of here, I don't want to add murder to my sheet.
If we don't get out of here, you don't have to worry about your sheet because I'll be adding another murder to mine.
Should be unlocked.
If we're gonna escape, I'm gonna need your help, but I'm just gonna need you to do what I say and don't ask questions, all right? We're three stories up.
It's not long enough.
Tie this around there.
Go and put that lid on.
Alcohol.
Okay.
MacGYVER: Archimedes the mathematician, not the wolfhound I mentioned earlier, once said, "Give me a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it, and I shall move the world.
" What Archie left out were a few key details, like the tensile strength of iron versus a wooden broom handle.
But with a little help from a process called "chemical embrittlement," This should work.
I could prove him right and escape just like Archimedes.
- Smart guy.
- The wolfhound, not the mathematician.
(grunts) EL NOCHE: Are you kidding me? This is your $2 million plan? Even if these sheets hold our weight going down, we're still in the yard.
Yeah, that's why we're not climbing down.
Smart guy.
Over here.
(MacGyver grunting) (breathing heavily) (breathing heavily) Okay.
I held up my end of the deal.
Now it's your turn.
(whistles) (guns cocking) EL NOCHE: Tell me, Mr.
Morris, why did you stop me from killing that guard? I told you why.
A prisoner facing as much time as you wouldn't think twice about killing someone standing between him and freedom.
Makes me wonder if you're not Frank Morris.
Who are you really? (grunts) (crickets chirping) Hey, Patti, I'm not seeing them.
You got anything on that satellite? Our follow-on's are blocked by that forest cover.
And we're not seeing any heat signatures.
So, widen the perimeter.
RILEY: Already on it.
JACK: Hey, guys, I got what looks like fresh tire tracks and blood, but no Noche, no Mac.
(camera snaps) (computer beeping) Riley, analyze those images.
Get me the make and model on that vehicle.
Already on it.
Let's get eyes on every CCTV feed at the border.
And live feeds of every road south of the prison.
If it crosses into Mexico, I want to see it.
Okay.
Based on tread marks, we're looking for a sedan American made, likely one of these four models.
This is impossible.
Every sedan looks exactly the same from this distance.
How are we gonna know which one Mac is in? (zipper opening) MacGYVER: And I thought my cell was small.
So, the plan worked.
Sort of.
I have a feeling we're headed for El Noche's compound in Mexico, but I can't tell anyone where it is if I'm dead.
Which makes my first order of business pretty simple find a way to call for help ASAP.
Okay, this is gonna sound nuts, but if I use Morse code to tap out Jack's phone number over and over, maybe I can catch the eye of some ex-military or off duty cop who can read my signal and is willing to make the call.
I know, I know, it's a long shot, but I'm in a trunk, headed towards what I can only imagine is a very painful death.
So right now, a long shot is all I got.
(speaking Spanish) Bring him.
(grunting) You seem like an extremely useful gringo.
Be a shame to kill you.
I actually like you.
But we have a problem.
You see, I have a lot of friends.
Friends who warn me when someone's coming for me: Federales, DEA, FBI.
No one warned me about you.
And if I have a new enemy, I need to know their name.
I need to know who you work for and who you are.
Or I will show you just how long I can make a minute last.
Look, too much time behind those walls has made you paranoid.
There's nobody hunting you.
I mean, we had a deal.
You know, I got the idea of this technique from an article I read about you Americans and your love of waterboarding.
You see, inhaling pure nitrogen won't kill you right away it'll poison you slowly.
I'm told it feels like drowning.
Very uncomfortable.
So after a little of this, you'll be begging me to tell me even your darkest secrets.
(grunting) Come on, smart guy.
(MacGyver grunts) (gasping) That was just a taste.
Are you ready to tell me who you work for? (groaning): I'm ready to tell you I'm ready to I'm ready to how much I love your mustache.
Call me back when he's feeling more talkative.
(muffled breathing) (faint whirring) (whirring grows louder) (helicopter blades whirring) (automatic gunfire) (nitrogen whooshing) (automatic gunfire) (grunts) (echoing): Hey, man.
Got your message.
You might want to brush up on your Morse code, though, I think you misspelled my name.
Hey, boys! Geez, what they been giving you? Looks like you could use a nap.
(chuckles) (door buzzes open) $4 million price on my head.
I guess I should be flattered.
Money well spent, Mr.
MacGyver.
Unfortunately, over the last 48 hours, the DEA and Federales shut down your entire operation, so, everything you have is gone.
You may have my money, but you haven't taken my friends.
And there's still plenty of those that owe me favors.
I look forward to meeting those friends.
(squeaking) Grandpa this came for you.
What is it? What does it look like? Who are they from? A friend.
Yeah! There he is.
Well, you're a free man.
How's it feel? Sick of being here.
Ready to be anywhere else, I think.
"Get busy living or get busy dying.
" I love it! (chuckles) You almost made it the whole mission without a single Shawshank reference.
The timing was right.
Yeah, the timing's right to get me far, far away from here, I think.
You ready, Ri? Hey, Riley, let's boogie.
Let's go.
I don't know how you did it.
You spent two years in there? Six days almost killed me.
You need to know, I couldn't have done it without you.
So, thank you.
Ready to get out of here? You have no idea.