Master i Margarita (2005) s01e07 Episode Script
Part 7
Mikhail Afanasievich Bulgakov The Master and Margarita PART SEVEN Natashka! You rubbed yourself with the cream? Darling! My French queen! I smeared it on him, too, on his bald head Oh, it's so good I confess, I took the cream We, too, want to live and fly! It's so good! Ah, it's good, Margarita Nikolaevna! He propositioned me! Say it - what did you want? What was it you called me? Who am I? who! Goddess! I can't fly so fast! I may lose important papers! Natalya Prokofyevna, I protest! Say what you promised how you tempted The money you promised! Well, speak, am I lying? I demand that my normal appearance be restored to me! Margarita Nikolaevna, it's your duty to call your housekeeper to order! Ah, so now I'm a housekeeper? And I used to be a goddess? Faster! Higher! I protest! I cannot fly to any illegal gathering! What's this? Who is it I see? Claudine! it's you, the merry widow! You're here, too? Go to the devil What sort of Claudine am I to you? Watch out who you're talking to! Ah! magnanimously forgive me I mistook you for someone else! precious Queen Margot! The cognac's to blame! curse it! Why don't you put your trousers on, you son of a bitch! Welcome queen! Good evening! Welcome precious Queen Margot! Welcome Here Drink! Drink Queen! Blessed! Blessed! How she had come to the river? Riding on a broom! Oh, but why, it's so inconvenient! Yes yes Send a car right this minute! Please My Queen! Goodbye! Deep bows my Queen! Greetings Azazello! Please Thank you Come this way Please Allow me to introduce myself to you Koroviev! Please, follow me Please But to business, to business Margarita Nikolaevna You're quite an intelligent woman, and of course have already guessed who our host is? Well, and so, ma'am.
Messire gives one ball annually in a different city of the world It is called the spring ball of the full moon, or the ball of the hundred kings! However a hostess is needed! The tradition has been established that the hostess of the ball must without fail be named Margarita first and second, she must be a native of the place We found one hundred and twenty-one Margaritas in Moscow and, would you believe it, not one of them was suitable! In short! Quite shortly you won't refuse to take this responsibility upon yourself? I won't refuse! I thought so! Please follow me! Oh, this it's Behemoth's contrivances for the ball, that's all! Don't be frightened The ball will be a magnificent one! I will not conceal it from you We will see persons the scope of whose power in their own time was extremely great.
And, besides, you yourself are of royal blood! Why of royal blood? Ah, my Queen questions of blood are the most complicated questions in the world.
I would not be sinning if, in speaking of that, I mention a whimsically shuffled pack of cards A hint: one of the French queens one must suppose, would be very amazed if someone told her that after all these years her lovely great-great-great-granddaughter I would be leading on my arm in Moscow through a ballroom.
But we've arrived! Greetings to you.
Queen and I beg you to excuse my homely attire Out with you! The game is cancelled.
The guest has arrived.
By no means By no means, Messire! I beg you not to interrupt your game I imagine the chess journals would pay good money for the chance to publish this game in print.
Yes Koroviev is right! How whimsically the deck has been shuffled Blood! Well, since you are so charmingly courteous and I expected nothing else let us not stand on ceremony! It's devilishly dark there! How long will this circus under the bed continue? Come out, you confounded Behemoth! I can't find my knight If you don't appear at once, we'll consider that you've forfeited you damned deserter! Not for anything, Messire! Well, what's all this now? What the devil do you need the bow-tie for, when you're not even wearing trousers? A cat is not supposed to wear trousers, Messire But have you ever seen anyone at a ball without a bow-tie? And so, donna I present to you my retinue This one who is playing the fool is the cat Behemoth! Azazello and Koroviev you have already met I present to you my maidservant, Hella efficient, quick and there is no service she cannot render! Well, that's the lot! A small company, as you see, mixed and guileless.
Hella, it's time! My leg hurts and now this ball! Allow me My attendants insist it's rheumatism but I strongly suspect that this pain in my knee was left me as a souvenir by a charming witch with whom I was closely acquainted in the year 1571 Nonsense! In another three hundred years it will all go away! Incidentally, tell me are you suffering from anything? Perhaps you have some sort of sorrow or soul-poisoning anguish? No, Messire! none of that! and now that I'm here with you, I feel myself quite well! Blood! is a great thing! Midnight is approaching, Messire! Ah, very good And so, if you please I thank you beforehand Don't become flustered and don't be afraid of anything.
Drink nothing but water otherwise you'll get groggy and it will be hard for you! It's time! This way Queen! Never mind, never mind No help for it you must, must One has to carry the burden you have to suffer, my crystal donna they were made for feet of the certain Chinese princess.
Maybe you want to resign? What.
.
what are you? I will survive! The ball! Who is the conductor? Johann Strauss! And they can hang me from a liana in a tropical forest if such an orchestra ever played at any ball! There are only world celebrities here! I invited them personally! And, note, not one got sick or declined! I welcome you, waltz king! Time to greet the guests, my Queen! Please Something happened? It's nothing! Please But where are the guests? They'll come.
Queen, they'll come There'll be no lack of them And, really, I'd rather go and chop wood than receive them here on the landing.
Chop wood - hah! I'd rather work as a tram conductor and there's no worse job in the world than that! Allow me Queen, to give you a last piece of advice.
Among the guests there will be different sorts but no one, Queen Margot, should be shown any preference! The mistress of the ball will be rewarded a hundredfold for that And also - don't ignore anyone! They'll sicken from that! Exactly! The first! Monsieur Jacques and his spouse I commend to you.
Queen, one of the most interesting of men A confirmed counterfeiter, a traitor to his government but a rather good alchemist.
Famous, for having poisoned a king's mistress That doesn't happen to everyone! Queen! I'm delighted my Queen! We're delighted! Earl Robert! interesting as ever! Note how funny Queen; the reverse case this one was a queen's lover and poisoned his wife.
We're very glad, Earl! A most charming and respectable lady Madame Tofana! Extremely popular among young, lovely Neapolitans especially those of them who had grown weary of their husbands.
It does happen, Queen that one grows weary of one's husband.
Yes! And so Madame Tofana entered into the situation of these poor women and sold them some sort of water in little vials The wife poured this water into her spouse's soup and a day later the lovely Neapolitan would be free as the spring breeze.
What she has on her foot.
Queen, is a Spanish boot! and with the prison guards strangled Madame Tofana in prison! How happy I am, the kindest Queen, that the high honor has fallen to me I'm very glad! We are honored! Oh! Here's Frieda a boring woman keeps dreaming of complaining about her handkerchief - She has a chambermaid assigned to her, who for thirty years has been putting a handkerchief on her night table during the night.
She wakes up and the handkerchief is there She's tried burning it in the stove and drowning it in the river but nothing helps! What handkerchief? A blue-bordered one The thing is that when she worked in a cafe the owner once invited her to the pantry and nine months later she gave birth to a boy took him to the forest, stuffed the handkerchief into his mouth and then buried the boy in the ground! At the trial she said she had no way of feeding the child! We're delighted! And where is the owner of the cafe? Queen, what, may I ask does the owner have to do with it? It wasn't he who smothered the infant! If you, scum, allow yourself to interfere in the conversation again I was speaking legally, from the legal point of view I say no more, I say no more only let go of my ear Frieda! My name is Frieda! Queen! Get drunk tonight, Frieda and don't think about anything! We're going, we're going We're delighted! The queen is delighted! I bow to you! We're delighted! I'm delighted! We're delighted! The queen is delighted! Queen, one second of attention The emperor Rudolf - sorcerer and alchemist! The marquise! poisoned her father, two brothers and two sisters for the inheritance! Goddess! We're delighted! Enchanted! Madame Minkina Ah, what a beauty! A bit nervous Why bum the maid's face with the curling-irons? Of course, in such conditions one gets stabbed! The queen is delighted! Forgive me Are you tired? Not at all! Ah, here she is! Ah, what a wonderful brothel she ran in Strasbourg We're delighted! This twenty-year-old boy was distinguished from childhood by Strange qualities a dreamer and an eccentric! A girl fell in love with him, and he went and sold her to a brothel! We're delighted! A Moscow dressmaker! we all love her for her inexhaustible fantasy She kept a shop and invented a terribly funny trick drilled two round holes in the wall And the ladies didn't know? Every one of them knew! Good evening! Well, baron I'm awaiting news from you! Enchanted! Oh Gaius Caesar Caligula and Messalina! Just a little bit longer Queen a little bit! Queen, I'm delighted! I'm delighted! Queen? I swear we're enduring the final minutes! Your Highness! Here's the group of revelers from Brocken they always come last! Yes, here they are Two drunken vampires that's all.
Ah, no, here's one more! You must fly around the rooms Queen Margot entertain the guests! so don't feel they've been abandoned! Frieda! Frieda! My name is Frieda! Queen! My sweet dove! Queen! Shall we rest? Why, no! Be careful! One last appearance, Queen and then we're free! Mikhail Alexandrovich! Everything came to pass, did it not? The head was cut off by a woman, the meeting did not take place and I am living in your apartment.
That is a fact! And fact is the most stubborn thing in the world! But we are now interested in what follows You have always been an ardent preacher of the theory that, on the cutting off of his head, life ceases in a man he turns to ashes and goes into non-being! I have the pleasure of informing you, in the presence of my guests though they serve as proof of quite a different theory that your theory is both solid and clever.
However one theory is as good as another There is also one which holds that it will be given to each according to his faith! Let it come true! You go into non-being and from the cup into which you are to be transformed! I will joyfully drink to being! Where is that Baron? Right this second, Messire, he'll appear before you! In this sepulchral silence I can hear the creaking of his patent leather shoes and the clink of the goblet he has just set down on the table having drunk champagne for the last time in his life Here he is! I'm happy to commend to you Baron Meigel! an employee of the Spectacles Commission in charge of acquainting foreigners with places of interest in the capital! The dear baron, was so charming that, having learned of my arrival in Moscow, he rang me up at once offering his services along the line of his expertise that is, acquainting people with places of interest! It goes without saying that I was happy to invite him here.
Ah, yes, incidentally, Baron rumors have spread about your extreme curiosity! What's more wicked tongues have already dropped the word a stool-pigeon and a spy! And, what's still more it is hinted that this will bring you to a sorry end in no more than a month.
And so in order to deliver you from this painful anticipation we have decided to come to your aid taking advantage of the fact that you invited yourself here precisely with the purpose of eavesdropping and spying! I drink your health! ladies and gentlemen! Drink! Don't be afraid.
Queen! Don't be afraid! the blood has long since gone into the earth! And where it was spilled, grapevines are already growing.
Drink!
Messire gives one ball annually in a different city of the world It is called the spring ball of the full moon, or the ball of the hundred kings! However a hostess is needed! The tradition has been established that the hostess of the ball must without fail be named Margarita first and second, she must be a native of the place We found one hundred and twenty-one Margaritas in Moscow and, would you believe it, not one of them was suitable! In short! Quite shortly you won't refuse to take this responsibility upon yourself? I won't refuse! I thought so! Please follow me! Oh, this it's Behemoth's contrivances for the ball, that's all! Don't be frightened The ball will be a magnificent one! I will not conceal it from you We will see persons the scope of whose power in their own time was extremely great.
And, besides, you yourself are of royal blood! Why of royal blood? Ah, my Queen questions of blood are the most complicated questions in the world.
I would not be sinning if, in speaking of that, I mention a whimsically shuffled pack of cards A hint: one of the French queens one must suppose, would be very amazed if someone told her that after all these years her lovely great-great-great-granddaughter I would be leading on my arm in Moscow through a ballroom.
But we've arrived! Greetings to you.
Queen and I beg you to excuse my homely attire Out with you! The game is cancelled.
The guest has arrived.
By no means By no means, Messire! I beg you not to interrupt your game I imagine the chess journals would pay good money for the chance to publish this game in print.
Yes Koroviev is right! How whimsically the deck has been shuffled Blood! Well, since you are so charmingly courteous and I expected nothing else let us not stand on ceremony! It's devilishly dark there! How long will this circus under the bed continue? Come out, you confounded Behemoth! I can't find my knight If you don't appear at once, we'll consider that you've forfeited you damned deserter! Not for anything, Messire! Well, what's all this now? What the devil do you need the bow-tie for, when you're not even wearing trousers? A cat is not supposed to wear trousers, Messire But have you ever seen anyone at a ball without a bow-tie? And so, donna I present to you my retinue This one who is playing the fool is the cat Behemoth! Azazello and Koroviev you have already met I present to you my maidservant, Hella efficient, quick and there is no service she cannot render! Well, that's the lot! A small company, as you see, mixed and guileless.
Hella, it's time! My leg hurts and now this ball! Allow me My attendants insist it's rheumatism but I strongly suspect that this pain in my knee was left me as a souvenir by a charming witch with whom I was closely acquainted in the year 1571 Nonsense! In another three hundred years it will all go away! Incidentally, tell me are you suffering from anything? Perhaps you have some sort of sorrow or soul-poisoning anguish? No, Messire! none of that! and now that I'm here with you, I feel myself quite well! Blood! is a great thing! Midnight is approaching, Messire! Ah, very good And so, if you please I thank you beforehand Don't become flustered and don't be afraid of anything.
Drink nothing but water otherwise you'll get groggy and it will be hard for you! It's time! This way Queen! Never mind, never mind No help for it you must, must One has to carry the burden you have to suffer, my crystal donna they were made for feet of the certain Chinese princess.
Maybe you want to resign? What.
.
what are you? I will survive! The ball! Who is the conductor? Johann Strauss! And they can hang me from a liana in a tropical forest if such an orchestra ever played at any ball! There are only world celebrities here! I invited them personally! And, note, not one got sick or declined! I welcome you, waltz king! Time to greet the guests, my Queen! Please Something happened? It's nothing! Please But where are the guests? They'll come.
Queen, they'll come There'll be no lack of them And, really, I'd rather go and chop wood than receive them here on the landing.
Chop wood - hah! I'd rather work as a tram conductor and there's no worse job in the world than that! Allow me Queen, to give you a last piece of advice.
Among the guests there will be different sorts but no one, Queen Margot, should be shown any preference! The mistress of the ball will be rewarded a hundredfold for that And also - don't ignore anyone! They'll sicken from that! Exactly! The first! Monsieur Jacques and his spouse I commend to you.
Queen, one of the most interesting of men A confirmed counterfeiter, a traitor to his government but a rather good alchemist.
Famous, for having poisoned a king's mistress That doesn't happen to everyone! Queen! I'm delighted my Queen! We're delighted! Earl Robert! interesting as ever! Note how funny Queen; the reverse case this one was a queen's lover and poisoned his wife.
We're very glad, Earl! A most charming and respectable lady Madame Tofana! Extremely popular among young, lovely Neapolitans especially those of them who had grown weary of their husbands.
It does happen, Queen that one grows weary of one's husband.
Yes! And so Madame Tofana entered into the situation of these poor women and sold them some sort of water in little vials The wife poured this water into her spouse's soup and a day later the lovely Neapolitan would be free as the spring breeze.
What she has on her foot.
Queen, is a Spanish boot! and with the prison guards strangled Madame Tofana in prison! How happy I am, the kindest Queen, that the high honor has fallen to me I'm very glad! We are honored! Oh! Here's Frieda a boring woman keeps dreaming of complaining about her handkerchief - She has a chambermaid assigned to her, who for thirty years has been putting a handkerchief on her night table during the night.
She wakes up and the handkerchief is there She's tried burning it in the stove and drowning it in the river but nothing helps! What handkerchief? A blue-bordered one The thing is that when she worked in a cafe the owner once invited her to the pantry and nine months later she gave birth to a boy took him to the forest, stuffed the handkerchief into his mouth and then buried the boy in the ground! At the trial she said she had no way of feeding the child! We're delighted! And where is the owner of the cafe? Queen, what, may I ask does the owner have to do with it? It wasn't he who smothered the infant! If you, scum, allow yourself to interfere in the conversation again I was speaking legally, from the legal point of view I say no more, I say no more only let go of my ear Frieda! My name is Frieda! Queen! Get drunk tonight, Frieda and don't think about anything! We're going, we're going We're delighted! The queen is delighted! I bow to you! We're delighted! I'm delighted! We're delighted! The queen is delighted! Queen, one second of attention The emperor Rudolf - sorcerer and alchemist! The marquise! poisoned her father, two brothers and two sisters for the inheritance! Goddess! We're delighted! Enchanted! Madame Minkina Ah, what a beauty! A bit nervous Why bum the maid's face with the curling-irons? Of course, in such conditions one gets stabbed! The queen is delighted! Forgive me Are you tired? Not at all! Ah, here she is! Ah, what a wonderful brothel she ran in Strasbourg We're delighted! This twenty-year-old boy was distinguished from childhood by Strange qualities a dreamer and an eccentric! A girl fell in love with him, and he went and sold her to a brothel! We're delighted! A Moscow dressmaker! we all love her for her inexhaustible fantasy She kept a shop and invented a terribly funny trick drilled two round holes in the wall And the ladies didn't know? Every one of them knew! Good evening! Well, baron I'm awaiting news from you! Enchanted! Oh Gaius Caesar Caligula and Messalina! Just a little bit longer Queen a little bit! Queen, I'm delighted! I'm delighted! Queen? I swear we're enduring the final minutes! Your Highness! Here's the group of revelers from Brocken they always come last! Yes, here they are Two drunken vampires that's all.
Ah, no, here's one more! You must fly around the rooms Queen Margot entertain the guests! so don't feel they've been abandoned! Frieda! Frieda! My name is Frieda! Queen! My sweet dove! Queen! Shall we rest? Why, no! Be careful! One last appearance, Queen and then we're free! Mikhail Alexandrovich! Everything came to pass, did it not? The head was cut off by a woman, the meeting did not take place and I am living in your apartment.
That is a fact! And fact is the most stubborn thing in the world! But we are now interested in what follows You have always been an ardent preacher of the theory that, on the cutting off of his head, life ceases in a man he turns to ashes and goes into non-being! I have the pleasure of informing you, in the presence of my guests though they serve as proof of quite a different theory that your theory is both solid and clever.
However one theory is as good as another There is also one which holds that it will be given to each according to his faith! Let it come true! You go into non-being and from the cup into which you are to be transformed! I will joyfully drink to being! Where is that Baron? Right this second, Messire, he'll appear before you! In this sepulchral silence I can hear the creaking of his patent leather shoes and the clink of the goblet he has just set down on the table having drunk champagne for the last time in his life Here he is! I'm happy to commend to you Baron Meigel! an employee of the Spectacles Commission in charge of acquainting foreigners with places of interest in the capital! The dear baron, was so charming that, having learned of my arrival in Moscow, he rang me up at once offering his services along the line of his expertise that is, acquainting people with places of interest! It goes without saying that I was happy to invite him here.
Ah, yes, incidentally, Baron rumors have spread about your extreme curiosity! What's more wicked tongues have already dropped the word a stool-pigeon and a spy! And, what's still more it is hinted that this will bring you to a sorry end in no more than a month.
And so in order to deliver you from this painful anticipation we have decided to come to your aid taking advantage of the fact that you invited yourself here precisely with the purpose of eavesdropping and spying! I drink your health! ladies and gentlemen! Drink! Don't be afraid.
Queen! Don't be afraid! the blood has long since gone into the earth! And where it was spilled, grapevines are already growing.
Drink!