Mr. Bean (1990) s01e07 Episode Script
Merry Christmas Mr Bean
(Bells pealing) Merry Christmas, one and all Ho, ho, ho! (Mumbles ) Moo! Shh! Ee-aw! Ee-aw! Ee-aw! Shh! Ahem! Shh! (Imitating marching band) Shh! (Imitates marching band quietly) (Tutting) (Baaing) (Whistles ) (Barking) (Whistles ) (Beeping) (Barking) (Baaing) Exterminate! Exterminate! Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! (Breathing heavily) (Whispers ) Ooh! (Growling) (Humming patriotic music) (Boom ) (Growls) (Booms ) Exterminate! Exterminate! (Imitating helicopter) (Sighing happily) (Man ) Ahem.
( # Hark The Herald Angels Sing) Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas Ho, ho, ho Ow! Bauble.
( # O, Little Town Of Bethlehem ) ( # Good King Wenceslas ) ( # Ding Dong Merrily On High) ( # God Bless Ye, Merry Gentlemen ) (Music finishes ) Bless you, my son.
I'll just put this in my car.
Um Would you? Thank you very much.
(Band toots ) (Toot toot) (Toot-toot-toot-toot) (Toot) (Short burst of music) ( # God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen ) (Music stops ) (Deep note ) (Band continues, mournfully) (Music swells, then stops ) (Silence ) (Music resumes ) (Band holding single note ) (Music resumes ) (Music finishes ) (Applause ) ( # Jazz version of God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen ) (Applause ) ( # Silent Night) (Creaking) Ohh! (Click) Miaow.
(Chuckles ) Cheers.
(Gunfire ) 'That was for my brother! That was for my sister!' (Gunfire and explosions ) (Woman screaming) (Sighs ) (Children ) # Away in a manger No crib for a bed The little lord Jesus Lay down his sweet head The stars in the bright sky Look down where he lay The little lord Jesus Asleep on the hay The cattle are lowing The baby awakes But little lord Jesus No crying he makes I love thee, Lord Jesus (Yawns ) Look down from the sky And stay by my bedside Till morning is nigh (Church bells ringing) Look, Teddy! What's Santa Claus brought you? Ooh.
Yes, three! It's a pair of socks! Christmas socks! Merry Christmas! Oh, look.
(Choir singing Ding Dong Merrily On High on TV) Boom! Ow! (Moaning and crashing) Are you all right in there? (Muffled) Oh yes.
Fine, thank you.
Sorry, just drying my hair.
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas to you.
Ho, ho, ho.
- Cup of tea? - Oh, yes.
If you're having one.
Well, I might.
- Have you got the turkey on? - Yes.
- Do you want a hand? - Uh, no.
No, thank you.
(Melodramatic organ music) (Screams ) (Creaking and grunting) (Squelch) (Crash) Ooh, my present.
Oh, look.
Oh! A classic ship! Oh.
Look at that.
(Gasps ) Oh! Look at all these bits and stuff.
Look at all those guns.
Oh.
I've got it here.
There.
It's got this cardboard thing on the back so it can stand there or it can stand there or it can even stand just here.
Brilliant.
Isn't it brilliant! (Sobbing) Oh, no, don't cry.
Oh, I forgot the main bit.
There.
It hooks on here, you see.
(Door slams ) What was wrong with it? Ohh! Merry Christmas, Mr Bean.
(Bang)
( # Hark The Herald Angels Sing) Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas Ho, ho, ho Ow! Bauble.
( # O, Little Town Of Bethlehem ) ( # Good King Wenceslas ) ( # Ding Dong Merrily On High) ( # God Bless Ye, Merry Gentlemen ) (Music finishes ) Bless you, my son.
I'll just put this in my car.
Um Would you? Thank you very much.
(Band toots ) (Toot toot) (Toot-toot-toot-toot) (Toot) (Short burst of music) ( # God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen ) (Music stops ) (Deep note ) (Band continues, mournfully) (Music swells, then stops ) (Silence ) (Music resumes ) (Band holding single note ) (Music resumes ) (Music finishes ) (Applause ) ( # Jazz version of God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen ) (Applause ) ( # Silent Night) (Creaking) Ohh! (Click) Miaow.
(Chuckles ) Cheers.
(Gunfire ) 'That was for my brother! That was for my sister!' (Gunfire and explosions ) (Woman screaming) (Sighs ) (Children ) # Away in a manger No crib for a bed The little lord Jesus Lay down his sweet head The stars in the bright sky Look down where he lay The little lord Jesus Asleep on the hay The cattle are lowing The baby awakes But little lord Jesus No crying he makes I love thee, Lord Jesus (Yawns ) Look down from the sky And stay by my bedside Till morning is nigh (Church bells ringing) Look, Teddy! What's Santa Claus brought you? Ooh.
Yes, three! It's a pair of socks! Christmas socks! Merry Christmas! Oh, look.
(Choir singing Ding Dong Merrily On High on TV) Boom! Ow! (Moaning and crashing) Are you all right in there? (Muffled) Oh yes.
Fine, thank you.
Sorry, just drying my hair.
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas to you.
Ho, ho, ho.
- Cup of tea? - Oh, yes.
If you're having one.
Well, I might.
- Have you got the turkey on? - Yes.
- Do you want a hand? - Uh, no.
No, thank you.
(Melodramatic organ music) (Screams ) (Creaking and grunting) (Squelch) (Crash) Ooh, my present.
Oh, look.
Oh! A classic ship! Oh.
Look at that.
(Gasps ) Oh! Look at all these bits and stuff.
Look at all those guns.
Oh.
I've got it here.
There.
It's got this cardboard thing on the back so it can stand there or it can stand there or it can even stand just here.
Brilliant.
Isn't it brilliant! (Sobbing) Oh, no, don't cry.
Oh, I forgot the main bit.
There.
It hooks on here, you see.
(Door slams ) What was wrong with it? Ohh! Merry Christmas, Mr Bean.
(Bang)