My So-Called Life s01e07 Episode Script
Why Jordan Can't Read
Love ls when you look lnto someone's eyes, and suddenly,,, you go all the way lnslde to thelr soul,,, and you both know, lnstantly, l always lmaglned l would fall ln love, nurslng a bllnd soldler,,, who was wounded ln battle, Or maybe whlle resculng someone ln the mlddle of a bllzzard,,, seconds before the avalanche hlts, l thought, at least, by the age of 1 5, l would have a love llfe, But, l don't even have a "llke" llfe, And, so then, what did he say? l think l'm coming down with something.
Honey, you're just tired.
That's what you're always saying.
l mean, what if l'm not tired? What if this is what l really look like now? Then l want a divorce.
Come on.
What did the repair guy say? He said l have not gained six pounds.
Get off, get back on, sometimes it - Seven pounds? - sticks.
Excuse me, could l just have a little tiny space up here in the corner? He said that we need a new printer, he saidDo l seem bloated to you? Please, not this subject.
Please, please.
No, really, do l seem, how shall l phrase this, fat? Shut up.
- What day is this? - Thursday.
- No, l mean the date.
- The 1 2th.
Are you ever coming to bed? Fleld trlps are so lntense, lt's llke everybody's been let out of thelr cages, or somethlng, And we're all roamlng around loose, J ust stay with the group, okay? The most important thing to remember is to stay with the group.
The most important thing to remember is to stay with the group.
What is the big deal with staying with the group? What if Amelia Earhart had stayed with the group? Or Diana Ross.
- l have to show you something.
- What's that? l wrote it last night.
l couldn't sleep.
lt contains every feeling l've ever wanted to express about Jordan Catalano.
Dear Jordan, it's-- So, are you going to send it to him? No, are you crazy? lt's private.
l just l'm proud of it.
l don't know.
l think l'm finally over him.
So, what's in it? Everything.
l admit how l was overpoweringly attracted to him or whatever, but, you know, l point out that he could have handled things differently, and he really did not know me at all.
Even though he acted like he did, and you know, yes l was somewhat obsessed with him, at one time, but l'm not anymore.
Because l've moved beyond that.
- So, can l read it? - Yes.
But wait - don't show this to anyone.
- l won't! God.
Chase.
She said to stay with the group.
So, you want my number? So do you? l've been humming this tune all day.
Like, you can't get it out of your mind, or something? lf only there was a button somewhere that l could just push,,, to force me to stop talklng, l could use a cup of coffee.
- You drink coffee? - Yeah.
- With cream or - Black, with three or four sugars.
Anyway What is that song? ls that a Crowded House song? No, just this song that l'm writing.
l'm in this band now, Frozen Embryos.
You know? With Tino? So you should hear us sometime, we're starting to sound okay.
- Not really, but - That's great.
l would love to, l mean, l Angela! Angela! Yes, well, anyway.
- Angela, just listen.
- You would not believe this.
- You would not believe this.
- Angela.
Jordan Catalano was having a conversation with me, like, on purpose.
- Like, a really nice conversation.
- Don't hate me.
What? - Do you know that letter thing? - Oh no.
l'm sorry.
l'm really sorry.
What did you do? Did you show it to him? No! God.
- l lost it.
- You what? l'm sorry.
l'm really sorry.
l'll find it for you, l swear.
On the plus side, l met this really cute guard not that that at all makes it worthwhile on any level.
You lost my letter.
Which means somebody could have found it.
And Jordan Catalano was being nice to me.
Like, out of nowhere.
Oh, my God.
So, Chase, you still have my Malcolm X, right? Yes, so? - So, l need it back.
Okay? - Okay.
Look, yesterday, on that field trip this is going to sound a little weird, but l almost forgot.
Here.
l found it at the museum.
You wrote it, right? Yes, but when l wrote this, l wrote this about someone else.
This guy, l had a boyfriend last summer, and, l l wrote everything l wanted to remember him, and l used your name because l wanted l didn't want other people to know it was about him because he diedhe's dead.
Look, l didn't read it, okay? So, you don't have to, like What, you expect me to believe that? l don't care what you believe! You find a five page letter in a museum and it starts " Dear Jordan," and you expect me to believe you didn't read it? Never mind.
Look, l read parts of it, okay? What? You must really think l'm stupid.
- lt just didn't hold my interest, okay? - Really? Why is that? l'm curious, l'd really like to know what it was that made it so incredibly boring.
J ust tell me, was it too emotional, too personal, too many big words? J ust shut up! Jeez.
You couldn't read it.
That's it, isn't it? l never told anyone before.
Catalano.
l just talked to Tino, man, he said he can get us that loft tonight.
- Cool.
- Yes, so rehearsal's on.
Okay, well - We should tell the other Embryos.
- l guess so.
- So, you have rehearsal tonight? - l guess so, yes.
Maybe l could hear that song you wrote sometime.
Sure.
l mean, yes.
We're rehearsing tonight at this loft that Tino found.
So So you mean l should go to the loft tonight? Well, you know, whatever.
Catalano, let's go! Wait, say this again? Something has happened between Jordan Catalano and me and l can't explain it, l seriously can't.
Don't even ask me, but l understand him in this way l didn't even know existed.
And it has completely changed everything.
Everything.
- Well, how late? - Eight days.
Eight fun- filled days.
- You're eight days late? - Yes.
- God, you're never late.
- l know.
Of course, this could just, you know, mean well, l mean, it could be pre- menopause.
What? Don't get all insulted.
l said pre.
Pre- menopause? ls that like pre- death? Well, it just means that this stage of the game that your periods get a little funky.
- Funky.
- Sporadic.
Look, let's face it.
Finally, someday, we are going to come to the end of our eggs.
You know that this had never occurred to me.
God, this is so depressing.
A man loses a little hair, he buys a great sports car.
l know.
But, it's supposed to be very gradual.
lt's going to take, ten years or something.
We end up looking like Germaine Greer on the back of that book.
l plan on looking like Tina Turner, when l'm 50.
Patty? We're 40! Look, you're not going through menopause! So, what are you saying? That l could be pregnant? Are you kidding? At your age? Tell her the best part.
He asked her to watch Frozen Embryos rehearse tonight.
Which l've been wanting to do, so bad.
So, wait, what was this thing that changed everything? lt's not something l can talk about.
All l can say is that it involves that letter.
l knew it! He found the letter.
lt made him want you.
Right? Am l right? Angelica, do you know what this means? Yes, l do.
Yes.
What does it mean? lt means, this has happened.
You're happening.
You and Jordan Catalano.
And who is the person, without whom none of this would be happening? Who is the genius who lost this stupid letter in the first place? Who should you be thanking for the rest of your life? Thank you.
Don't mention it.
l got to go.
l got to beep George.
George? That museum guard? So, congratulations.
l haven't seen him since it happened.
lf l ran into him, l'd probably faint.
You won't.
He has Shop 5th period, Mondays and Wednesdays and he never cuts Shop.
l just know, because l used to pass him on the way to Computer.
Right.
- When? - l don't know.
The night we watched The N utty Professor on cable? - That was two months ago.
- And l put the stupid thing in.
- l mean the diaphragm.
- Right.
Look, it's not like there were that many times.
How can you say that? There's been tons of times.
What about the night that Danielle stayed over at Stacy's? How many of these have you eaten? Graham, what if it's a boy? Patty, it's not a boy, it's not anything because it's not happening, you're not pregnant.
You mean, you feel like it might be a boy? No.
What am l saying? There's no way that l could be Brian! Honey, look, it's Brian Krakow.
lt was open.
See, l loaned Angela Malcolm X.
l read it already.
But, l have to re- read it.
Angela's not here.
She's at band practice tonight l guess she's thinking of joining or something.
You're in band, aren't you? l mean, at least you play the flute.
- He plays the saxophone.
H i.
- H i.
Actually l play both because they say that colleges really like it if you play more than one instrument.
You have to play them both at once or Well, l'm not allowed in Angela's room without a visa.
- l'll let her know that you came.
- Right.
Okay.
So, what's this thing that Angela went to again? l don't know.
But, there must be someone there she likes because she changed clothes, like, eight different times.
ls the saxophone hard to play? l'm interested in the saxophone.
Maybe you could show me how to play it sometime.
- Sure, l guess so.
- When? Maybe tomorrow night.
So she changed clothes? Yes.
So, did you mean it? About the lessons? Will Angela be there? l mean, because l need that book.
J ust come over.
l could find the book.
- Let's go.
They're totally ignoring us.
- No, not yet.
lf only Tino would get here so they'd play something.
Or l could at least drink more.
l'm calling George again.
H uge events take place on thls Earth every day, Earthquakes, hurrlcanes, Even glaclers move, So, why couldn't he just look at me? Hey.
Do you want to hear that song l was telling you about? l was going nowhere, going nowhere fast.
Drowning in my memories, living in the past.
Everything looked black until l found her.
She's all l need, and that's what l said.
l call her " Red".
Oh, my God," Red", that's you! l call her " Red".
Yes, yes, yes.
She's my shelter from the storm, she's a place to rest my head.
Late at night, she keeps me safe and warm.
l call her " Red".
Yes, yes, yes.
l call her " Red".
That's all l have so far.
- Oh, my God, Rickie.
- Angela - So, you are going to stay, right? - l don't know.
Well, stay.
You should, l mean, that's the whole point, right? Stay, hear the rest of the rehearsal.
We have to go.
We should go.
But, if you want to stay - Do you want to stay? - l could.
Then, stay.
We're going.
Bye.
Bye! lt's gettlng late, l got to go, Tlno's not comlng, Let's go, l don't think Tino's coming.
l'm going to get out of here.
You want a ride somewhere? - Okay.
- Okay.
l was just thinking - could you maybe have dyslexia? - What, that backwards thing? Lots of people have it, l mean, my father's brother has it.
lt makes reading incredibly difficult because your mind, like-- Let's not talk about this.
Reverses things.
l'm sorry.
lt's actually not.
l mean, a lot of really intelligent people are dyslexic.
- J ust because a person can't read-- - Hey, l can read, okay? J ust not No, l know.
J ust not that good.
You know those guys up in the mountains? What guys? Who make snow, like - like, as their job? - Yes.
l would really like to do that.
You mean, part- time or - Sorry.
- For what? l interrupted you.
Yes.
Thanks.
Okay.
Yes.
Angela, do you hear me? You're going to be late! Exactly when did l turn into Auntie Em? - How soon can you take the test? - Tomorrow.
Tomorrow l will take it and hopefully we-- Yes, honey, what is it? Angela's in love.
- She's drinking coffee.
- And humming.
l can go out on dates, right? Of course you can go out on dates.
But we do have certain ground rules.
- Like what? - Like what? Like, you have a curfew.
And we have to know where you're going, and whoever else is going to be there.
And, we have to have an understanding about drinking namely, that you're not going to be doing any.
And if a boy that you're out with takes a drink, then you have to swear on a stack of Bibles that you will not let him drive you home.
And, of course, we have to meet him first, whoever he is.
And that's it.
You have to meet him first? Yes.
Like a little milk in your coffee? No, l take it black, with three or four sugars.
l see.
Why do you have to meet him first? That's humiliating.
l mean, this person means something to me.
There is a person who means something to you? Yes, and l don't see why you can't just trust that.
Why do l have to parade him around in front of you? Because we want to drag you down to our level.
So, say it was somebody you knew.
Then l wouldn't have to introduce him to you.
Because you already know him.
Right? Go to school.
And you want to go through this with yet a third one? l'm not saying l want to, l'm just saying what if it's true? l don't know.
Do you want it to be true? Do you? When he's 40, we'll be dead.
- Rayanne Graff is staring at us.
- So? She's so low.
She's so disgusting.
The other day, at the museum l heard she had sex with one of the guards.
- Get over it.
- What? Face it.
lf a guy did that on a field trip you and your friends would give him a medal.
Hey, l'm just making conversation.
Besides, l thought you hated her.
l do.
l mean, of course l do.
But l just think there's a lot of great reasons to hate her, without dragging in her sex life.
lt was amazing.
l keep running it over and over in my mind, like it was a movie.
That's just what l would do.
l want to see him so much, but at the same time, it's like l don't just want to see him, with no preparation.
lt's exactly how l would be.
Look, he usually goes to P.
E.
on Thursdays so, if you could be on the north side of the gym as fifth period lets out - Rickie.
- You don't have to say it.
H i.
H i.
H i.
H i.
Hey.
So, what's up? l can't get that song you wrote out of my mind.
l'm still not done writing it, so Well, there's this movie and it kind of reminds me of your song or your song kind of reminds me of the movie but hearing it kind of makes me want to go to the movie again.
Yes, we could do that.
Yes, but the thing is, this is going to sound so weird.
My parents are kind of, like, from the Stone Age but they have to meet you.
Before.
- Before what? - Before we could go to the movie.
Yes, okay.
Yes! l mean, you could just come by tonight, you know anytime, and it'd be settled.
And, we could just go to the movie anytime this weekend.
Catalano.
Let's go.
So, would you want to do that? Like, tonight? Say around 7: 30? Yes, sure.
Why not? - What was that about? - J ust shut up.
l just wasn't expecting to have to meet this guy so soon.
l wasn't expecting to have to meet any guy so soon.
Yes, well.
Neither was l.
But l guess we are.
l guess she's pretty serious about him.
Listen, l think you'd better prepare yourself.
l get the definite feeling that this kid is very good looking.
So? What, do you think l can't handle that? - God, how did it come to this? - l don't know! - You and your ground rules! - What was l supposed to say? - We can't keep her locked in her room.
- Why not? No, really.
How did locking kids in their room get such a bad rap.
l don't know.
Look at me.
l'm bloated, l'm very, very interested in chocolate Okay.
lt's only Brian.
Come on in.
Angela! Brian's here.
Danielle seemed interested, so l thought l'd show her how the sax works, and then l remembered that l still need - my Malcolm X, so - Here's your book.
- How come you look like that? - Like what? Brian, would you like something to drink? l definitely need a drink.
- H i.
- H i.
You just look like you're going to a costume party as someone else.
Where are we going to have the lesson? lf you must know, Jordan Catalano is coming over.
What? Yes, shut up! Why is that so amazing? l'm sorry if you disapprove.
l don't disapprove.
l'm just sickened.
Please get out of here, would you? No! Anyway, he's here to see me.
- So, what, you and Jordan a couple? - Yes, why is that so hard to accept? He's coming over, and we're probably going to go see The Bicycle Thief this weekend together.
What? You think Jordan Catalano will understand one word of Bicycle Thief? Shut up! - You only understand it because-- - That's such a lie! You're bringing Jordan Catalano to The Bicycle Thief? That idiot! Don't you dare call him that! You don't know, you don't understand.
Not for one second.
You think you understand, but you don't! You just analy ze everything until it barely even exists.
lt's Tino.
He said we should meet him over on Clyburn.
There's a party.
Yes.
Okay.
Yes.
Let's go! There's nothing to eat here anyways.
Yo, Catalano, come on.
No, there's this thing l said l would do.
What thing? J ust this thing that l said l would do.
Whatever.
l kept it loose.
lt wasn't definite, it wasn't like a date.
We know that.
Actually, l'm pretty tired.
l think l'd better go to bed.
Thls llfe has been a test, lf lt had been an actual llfe,,, you would have recelved lnstructlons on where to go, and what to do, What? So have you and Kyle gone all the way yet? That is completely none of your business.
Look, l know it's none of my business.
l mean, we're totally not friends due to the fact that neither of us can stand each other.
That's why l asked you.
Go ahead, ask me anything.
Go ahead.
lt's, like, relaxing.
- You're so weird.
- Squared.
Okay, look.
l made a solemn promise to myself that l would not go all the way until l was ready.
And l'm sticking to that.
l was just vaguely curious.
Because when l saw you making out with Kyle in the hall l mean, you act like you're reaching ecstasy.
Well, yes.
l mean l mean, when You know how that is.
Yes, in a way.
l mean, it's fun and all, you know l don't always feel anything.
Sometimes l feel numb or something.
Maybe you just haven't found the right person yet.
l've tried every type of person.
Look, no big deal, you don't have to look all worried or anything.
God, Rayanne, l wish l could be like you.
l mean, your relationships may be short, but at least they're real.
At least, you're not making them all up.
- You haven't even heard his side yet.
- l don't want to hear his side.
l never want to see him again, for the rest of my-- lt was klnd of llke drlvlng by a horrlble car accldent, You just had to look, She's a little upset.
l guess, well, because, well, never mind.
No, what? l guess she figures, you know, why didn't you call, or something? Yes, that makes sense.
She just, she wanted me to meet her parents.
l justl wasn't in the mood, you know? lt's like, she knows too much about me, or something? Not really, but she just makes too big a deal out of everything.
l mean, she makes everything too complicated.
Anyway.
Well, it was partly that song that you wrote? She really liked it.
And it was obvious what it was about, so Yes.
My car.
Patty? So how's the test going? Did you flunk? But seriously, honey, do you know anything yet? l can't believe it.
lt's a miracle.
Sweetheart.
Oh, God.
l got my period.
Okay.
l just, for a second l thought l feel such relief, such gratitude for my life, my freedom.
l mean, the idea of actually starting over again right now with another child when l'm just beginning to l just don't want to go back there now.
Oh Graham.
Oh sweetheart.
- You wanted a son.
- Well, maybe just a little.
lt's not like l go around wanting one all the time.
l guess, l just sort of fell in love with the idea of having a son.
Honey, l'm sorry.
- l thought you were past all that now.
- l thought so, too.
l come bearing ice cream.
lt's cookie dough.
You can eat it right out of the carton.
Mom, if you care about me at all, do not attempt to cheer me up because it's not possible.
You can leave the ice cream.
You know, l wasn't going to try to cheer you up.
l wouldn't presume to think that anything l could say - would lift your spirits.
- Good, because you can't.
lt's ironic, isn't it? Emotions? l mean, all this week, l was so afraid that l was pregnant.
What? You're not, are you? No.
l said l thought incorrectly, as it turns out, that l might accidentally have become pregnant.
Mom? lt's not that funny.
l'm so pleased that l've been able to brighten your day.
- H i.
- H i.
Angela is in there.
Would you still like me to give you a saxophone lesson? No.
Guess that answers your question.
Why is Dad playing catch with Brian Krakow? l guess if you live with three women, it could make any man desperate.
Hello.
Here, why don't you play? Take over.
What did your parents think about Jordan Catalano? Were they revolted? We are not talking about Jordan Catalano ever again.
We're not? Okay, we're not.
Why not? Because you are incapable of understanding.
Yes, why? Because it's never happened to you.
l mean, just wait until it happens to you, Brian.
Seriously, l cannot wait until it happens to you because l'm going to look at you and l am going to laugh.
And l'll say,"See? See? l told you so.
"
Honey, you're just tired.
That's what you're always saying.
l mean, what if l'm not tired? What if this is what l really look like now? Then l want a divorce.
Come on.
What did the repair guy say? He said l have not gained six pounds.
Get off, get back on, sometimes it - Seven pounds? - sticks.
Excuse me, could l just have a little tiny space up here in the corner? He said that we need a new printer, he saidDo l seem bloated to you? Please, not this subject.
Please, please.
No, really, do l seem, how shall l phrase this, fat? Shut up.
- What day is this? - Thursday.
- No, l mean the date.
- The 1 2th.
Are you ever coming to bed? Fleld trlps are so lntense, lt's llke everybody's been let out of thelr cages, or somethlng, And we're all roamlng around loose, J ust stay with the group, okay? The most important thing to remember is to stay with the group.
The most important thing to remember is to stay with the group.
What is the big deal with staying with the group? What if Amelia Earhart had stayed with the group? Or Diana Ross.
- l have to show you something.
- What's that? l wrote it last night.
l couldn't sleep.
lt contains every feeling l've ever wanted to express about Jordan Catalano.
Dear Jordan, it's-- So, are you going to send it to him? No, are you crazy? lt's private.
l just l'm proud of it.
l don't know.
l think l'm finally over him.
So, what's in it? Everything.
l admit how l was overpoweringly attracted to him or whatever, but, you know, l point out that he could have handled things differently, and he really did not know me at all.
Even though he acted like he did, and you know, yes l was somewhat obsessed with him, at one time, but l'm not anymore.
Because l've moved beyond that.
- So, can l read it? - Yes.
But wait - don't show this to anyone.
- l won't! God.
Chase.
She said to stay with the group.
So, you want my number? So do you? l've been humming this tune all day.
Like, you can't get it out of your mind, or something? lf only there was a button somewhere that l could just push,,, to force me to stop talklng, l could use a cup of coffee.
- You drink coffee? - Yeah.
- With cream or - Black, with three or four sugars.
Anyway What is that song? ls that a Crowded House song? No, just this song that l'm writing.
l'm in this band now, Frozen Embryos.
You know? With Tino? So you should hear us sometime, we're starting to sound okay.
- Not really, but - That's great.
l would love to, l mean, l Angela! Angela! Yes, well, anyway.
- Angela, just listen.
- You would not believe this.
- You would not believe this.
- Angela.
Jordan Catalano was having a conversation with me, like, on purpose.
- Like, a really nice conversation.
- Don't hate me.
What? - Do you know that letter thing? - Oh no.
l'm sorry.
l'm really sorry.
What did you do? Did you show it to him? No! God.
- l lost it.
- You what? l'm sorry.
l'm really sorry.
l'll find it for you, l swear.
On the plus side, l met this really cute guard not that that at all makes it worthwhile on any level.
You lost my letter.
Which means somebody could have found it.
And Jordan Catalano was being nice to me.
Like, out of nowhere.
Oh, my God.
So, Chase, you still have my Malcolm X, right? Yes, so? - So, l need it back.
Okay? - Okay.
Look, yesterday, on that field trip this is going to sound a little weird, but l almost forgot.
Here.
l found it at the museum.
You wrote it, right? Yes, but when l wrote this, l wrote this about someone else.
This guy, l had a boyfriend last summer, and, l l wrote everything l wanted to remember him, and l used your name because l wanted l didn't want other people to know it was about him because he diedhe's dead.
Look, l didn't read it, okay? So, you don't have to, like What, you expect me to believe that? l don't care what you believe! You find a five page letter in a museum and it starts " Dear Jordan," and you expect me to believe you didn't read it? Never mind.
Look, l read parts of it, okay? What? You must really think l'm stupid.
- lt just didn't hold my interest, okay? - Really? Why is that? l'm curious, l'd really like to know what it was that made it so incredibly boring.
J ust tell me, was it too emotional, too personal, too many big words? J ust shut up! Jeez.
You couldn't read it.
That's it, isn't it? l never told anyone before.
Catalano.
l just talked to Tino, man, he said he can get us that loft tonight.
- Cool.
- Yes, so rehearsal's on.
Okay, well - We should tell the other Embryos.
- l guess so.
- So, you have rehearsal tonight? - l guess so, yes.
Maybe l could hear that song you wrote sometime.
Sure.
l mean, yes.
We're rehearsing tonight at this loft that Tino found.
So So you mean l should go to the loft tonight? Well, you know, whatever.
Catalano, let's go! Wait, say this again? Something has happened between Jordan Catalano and me and l can't explain it, l seriously can't.
Don't even ask me, but l understand him in this way l didn't even know existed.
And it has completely changed everything.
Everything.
- Well, how late? - Eight days.
Eight fun- filled days.
- You're eight days late? - Yes.
- God, you're never late.
- l know.
Of course, this could just, you know, mean well, l mean, it could be pre- menopause.
What? Don't get all insulted.
l said pre.
Pre- menopause? ls that like pre- death? Well, it just means that this stage of the game that your periods get a little funky.
- Funky.
- Sporadic.
Look, let's face it.
Finally, someday, we are going to come to the end of our eggs.
You know that this had never occurred to me.
God, this is so depressing.
A man loses a little hair, he buys a great sports car.
l know.
But, it's supposed to be very gradual.
lt's going to take, ten years or something.
We end up looking like Germaine Greer on the back of that book.
l plan on looking like Tina Turner, when l'm 50.
Patty? We're 40! Look, you're not going through menopause! So, what are you saying? That l could be pregnant? Are you kidding? At your age? Tell her the best part.
He asked her to watch Frozen Embryos rehearse tonight.
Which l've been wanting to do, so bad.
So, wait, what was this thing that changed everything? lt's not something l can talk about.
All l can say is that it involves that letter.
l knew it! He found the letter.
lt made him want you.
Right? Am l right? Angelica, do you know what this means? Yes, l do.
Yes.
What does it mean? lt means, this has happened.
You're happening.
You and Jordan Catalano.
And who is the person, without whom none of this would be happening? Who is the genius who lost this stupid letter in the first place? Who should you be thanking for the rest of your life? Thank you.
Don't mention it.
l got to go.
l got to beep George.
George? That museum guard? So, congratulations.
l haven't seen him since it happened.
lf l ran into him, l'd probably faint.
You won't.
He has Shop 5th period, Mondays and Wednesdays and he never cuts Shop.
l just know, because l used to pass him on the way to Computer.
Right.
- When? - l don't know.
The night we watched The N utty Professor on cable? - That was two months ago.
- And l put the stupid thing in.
- l mean the diaphragm.
- Right.
Look, it's not like there were that many times.
How can you say that? There's been tons of times.
What about the night that Danielle stayed over at Stacy's? How many of these have you eaten? Graham, what if it's a boy? Patty, it's not a boy, it's not anything because it's not happening, you're not pregnant.
You mean, you feel like it might be a boy? No.
What am l saying? There's no way that l could be Brian! Honey, look, it's Brian Krakow.
lt was open.
See, l loaned Angela Malcolm X.
l read it already.
But, l have to re- read it.
Angela's not here.
She's at band practice tonight l guess she's thinking of joining or something.
You're in band, aren't you? l mean, at least you play the flute.
- He plays the saxophone.
H i.
- H i.
Actually l play both because they say that colleges really like it if you play more than one instrument.
You have to play them both at once or Well, l'm not allowed in Angela's room without a visa.
- l'll let her know that you came.
- Right.
Okay.
So, what's this thing that Angela went to again? l don't know.
But, there must be someone there she likes because she changed clothes, like, eight different times.
ls the saxophone hard to play? l'm interested in the saxophone.
Maybe you could show me how to play it sometime.
- Sure, l guess so.
- When? Maybe tomorrow night.
So she changed clothes? Yes.
So, did you mean it? About the lessons? Will Angela be there? l mean, because l need that book.
J ust come over.
l could find the book.
- Let's go.
They're totally ignoring us.
- No, not yet.
lf only Tino would get here so they'd play something.
Or l could at least drink more.
l'm calling George again.
H uge events take place on thls Earth every day, Earthquakes, hurrlcanes, Even glaclers move, So, why couldn't he just look at me? Hey.
Do you want to hear that song l was telling you about? l was going nowhere, going nowhere fast.
Drowning in my memories, living in the past.
Everything looked black until l found her.
She's all l need, and that's what l said.
l call her " Red".
Oh, my God," Red", that's you! l call her " Red".
Yes, yes, yes.
She's my shelter from the storm, she's a place to rest my head.
Late at night, she keeps me safe and warm.
l call her " Red".
Yes, yes, yes.
l call her " Red".
That's all l have so far.
- Oh, my God, Rickie.
- Angela - So, you are going to stay, right? - l don't know.
Well, stay.
You should, l mean, that's the whole point, right? Stay, hear the rest of the rehearsal.
We have to go.
We should go.
But, if you want to stay - Do you want to stay? - l could.
Then, stay.
We're going.
Bye.
Bye! lt's gettlng late, l got to go, Tlno's not comlng, Let's go, l don't think Tino's coming.
l'm going to get out of here.
You want a ride somewhere? - Okay.
- Okay.
l was just thinking - could you maybe have dyslexia? - What, that backwards thing? Lots of people have it, l mean, my father's brother has it.
lt makes reading incredibly difficult because your mind, like-- Let's not talk about this.
Reverses things.
l'm sorry.
lt's actually not.
l mean, a lot of really intelligent people are dyslexic.
- J ust because a person can't read-- - Hey, l can read, okay? J ust not No, l know.
J ust not that good.
You know those guys up in the mountains? What guys? Who make snow, like - like, as their job? - Yes.
l would really like to do that.
You mean, part- time or - Sorry.
- For what? l interrupted you.
Yes.
Thanks.
Okay.
Yes.
Angela, do you hear me? You're going to be late! Exactly when did l turn into Auntie Em? - How soon can you take the test? - Tomorrow.
Tomorrow l will take it and hopefully we-- Yes, honey, what is it? Angela's in love.
- She's drinking coffee.
- And humming.
l can go out on dates, right? Of course you can go out on dates.
But we do have certain ground rules.
- Like what? - Like what? Like, you have a curfew.
And we have to know where you're going, and whoever else is going to be there.
And, we have to have an understanding about drinking namely, that you're not going to be doing any.
And if a boy that you're out with takes a drink, then you have to swear on a stack of Bibles that you will not let him drive you home.
And, of course, we have to meet him first, whoever he is.
And that's it.
You have to meet him first? Yes.
Like a little milk in your coffee? No, l take it black, with three or four sugars.
l see.
Why do you have to meet him first? That's humiliating.
l mean, this person means something to me.
There is a person who means something to you? Yes, and l don't see why you can't just trust that.
Why do l have to parade him around in front of you? Because we want to drag you down to our level.
So, say it was somebody you knew.
Then l wouldn't have to introduce him to you.
Because you already know him.
Right? Go to school.
And you want to go through this with yet a third one? l'm not saying l want to, l'm just saying what if it's true? l don't know.
Do you want it to be true? Do you? When he's 40, we'll be dead.
- Rayanne Graff is staring at us.
- So? She's so low.
She's so disgusting.
The other day, at the museum l heard she had sex with one of the guards.
- Get over it.
- What? Face it.
lf a guy did that on a field trip you and your friends would give him a medal.
Hey, l'm just making conversation.
Besides, l thought you hated her.
l do.
l mean, of course l do.
But l just think there's a lot of great reasons to hate her, without dragging in her sex life.
lt was amazing.
l keep running it over and over in my mind, like it was a movie.
That's just what l would do.
l want to see him so much, but at the same time, it's like l don't just want to see him, with no preparation.
lt's exactly how l would be.
Look, he usually goes to P.
E.
on Thursdays so, if you could be on the north side of the gym as fifth period lets out - Rickie.
- You don't have to say it.
H i.
H i.
H i.
H i.
Hey.
So, what's up? l can't get that song you wrote out of my mind.
l'm still not done writing it, so Well, there's this movie and it kind of reminds me of your song or your song kind of reminds me of the movie but hearing it kind of makes me want to go to the movie again.
Yes, we could do that.
Yes, but the thing is, this is going to sound so weird.
My parents are kind of, like, from the Stone Age but they have to meet you.
Before.
- Before what? - Before we could go to the movie.
Yes, okay.
Yes! l mean, you could just come by tonight, you know anytime, and it'd be settled.
And, we could just go to the movie anytime this weekend.
Catalano.
Let's go.
So, would you want to do that? Like, tonight? Say around 7: 30? Yes, sure.
Why not? - What was that about? - J ust shut up.
l just wasn't expecting to have to meet this guy so soon.
l wasn't expecting to have to meet any guy so soon.
Yes, well.
Neither was l.
But l guess we are.
l guess she's pretty serious about him.
Listen, l think you'd better prepare yourself.
l get the definite feeling that this kid is very good looking.
So? What, do you think l can't handle that? - God, how did it come to this? - l don't know! - You and your ground rules! - What was l supposed to say? - We can't keep her locked in her room.
- Why not? No, really.
How did locking kids in their room get such a bad rap.
l don't know.
Look at me.
l'm bloated, l'm very, very interested in chocolate Okay.
lt's only Brian.
Come on in.
Angela! Brian's here.
Danielle seemed interested, so l thought l'd show her how the sax works, and then l remembered that l still need - my Malcolm X, so - Here's your book.
- How come you look like that? - Like what? Brian, would you like something to drink? l definitely need a drink.
- H i.
- H i.
You just look like you're going to a costume party as someone else.
Where are we going to have the lesson? lf you must know, Jordan Catalano is coming over.
What? Yes, shut up! Why is that so amazing? l'm sorry if you disapprove.
l don't disapprove.
l'm just sickened.
Please get out of here, would you? No! Anyway, he's here to see me.
- So, what, you and Jordan a couple? - Yes, why is that so hard to accept? He's coming over, and we're probably going to go see The Bicycle Thief this weekend together.
What? You think Jordan Catalano will understand one word of Bicycle Thief? Shut up! - You only understand it because-- - That's such a lie! You're bringing Jordan Catalano to The Bicycle Thief? That idiot! Don't you dare call him that! You don't know, you don't understand.
Not for one second.
You think you understand, but you don't! You just analy ze everything until it barely even exists.
lt's Tino.
He said we should meet him over on Clyburn.
There's a party.
Yes.
Okay.
Yes.
Let's go! There's nothing to eat here anyways.
Yo, Catalano, come on.
No, there's this thing l said l would do.
What thing? J ust this thing that l said l would do.
Whatever.
l kept it loose.
lt wasn't definite, it wasn't like a date.
We know that.
Actually, l'm pretty tired.
l think l'd better go to bed.
Thls llfe has been a test, lf lt had been an actual llfe,,, you would have recelved lnstructlons on where to go, and what to do, What? So have you and Kyle gone all the way yet? That is completely none of your business.
Look, l know it's none of my business.
l mean, we're totally not friends due to the fact that neither of us can stand each other.
That's why l asked you.
Go ahead, ask me anything.
Go ahead.
lt's, like, relaxing.
- You're so weird.
- Squared.
Okay, look.
l made a solemn promise to myself that l would not go all the way until l was ready.
And l'm sticking to that.
l was just vaguely curious.
Because when l saw you making out with Kyle in the hall l mean, you act like you're reaching ecstasy.
Well, yes.
l mean l mean, when You know how that is.
Yes, in a way.
l mean, it's fun and all, you know l don't always feel anything.
Sometimes l feel numb or something.
Maybe you just haven't found the right person yet.
l've tried every type of person.
Look, no big deal, you don't have to look all worried or anything.
God, Rayanne, l wish l could be like you.
l mean, your relationships may be short, but at least they're real.
At least, you're not making them all up.
- You haven't even heard his side yet.
- l don't want to hear his side.
l never want to see him again, for the rest of my-- lt was klnd of llke drlvlng by a horrlble car accldent, You just had to look, She's a little upset.
l guess, well, because, well, never mind.
No, what? l guess she figures, you know, why didn't you call, or something? Yes, that makes sense.
She just, she wanted me to meet her parents.
l justl wasn't in the mood, you know? lt's like, she knows too much about me, or something? Not really, but she just makes too big a deal out of everything.
l mean, she makes everything too complicated.
Anyway.
Well, it was partly that song that you wrote? She really liked it.
And it was obvious what it was about, so Yes.
My car.
Patty? So how's the test going? Did you flunk? But seriously, honey, do you know anything yet? l can't believe it.
lt's a miracle.
Sweetheart.
Oh, God.
l got my period.
Okay.
l just, for a second l thought l feel such relief, such gratitude for my life, my freedom.
l mean, the idea of actually starting over again right now with another child when l'm just beginning to l just don't want to go back there now.
Oh Graham.
Oh sweetheart.
- You wanted a son.
- Well, maybe just a little.
lt's not like l go around wanting one all the time.
l guess, l just sort of fell in love with the idea of having a son.
Honey, l'm sorry.
- l thought you were past all that now.
- l thought so, too.
l come bearing ice cream.
lt's cookie dough.
You can eat it right out of the carton.
Mom, if you care about me at all, do not attempt to cheer me up because it's not possible.
You can leave the ice cream.
You know, l wasn't going to try to cheer you up.
l wouldn't presume to think that anything l could say - would lift your spirits.
- Good, because you can't.
lt's ironic, isn't it? Emotions? l mean, all this week, l was so afraid that l was pregnant.
What? You're not, are you? No.
l said l thought incorrectly, as it turns out, that l might accidentally have become pregnant.
Mom? lt's not that funny.
l'm so pleased that l've been able to brighten your day.
- H i.
- H i.
Angela is in there.
Would you still like me to give you a saxophone lesson? No.
Guess that answers your question.
Why is Dad playing catch with Brian Krakow? l guess if you live with three women, it could make any man desperate.
Hello.
Here, why don't you play? Take over.
What did your parents think about Jordan Catalano? Were they revolted? We are not talking about Jordan Catalano ever again.
We're not? Okay, we're not.
Why not? Because you are incapable of understanding.
Yes, why? Because it's never happened to you.
l mean, just wait until it happens to you, Brian.
Seriously, l cannot wait until it happens to you because l'm going to look at you and l am going to laugh.
And l'll say,"See? See? l told you so.
"