Nip/Tuck s01e07 Episode Script

Previously on Nip / Tuck: This is my husband, Sean.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
I've heard a lot about you.
I've heard absolutely nothing about you.
Don't for one second feeI ashamed about these scars on your chest.
You're just wearing on the outside what the rest of us wear on the inside.
Christian! I'm so glad you're here.
Look at you, sweetheart.
You're an 11.
You're proposing a three-way? Yes.
Take off your clothes, Matthew.
- Need a ride? - I don't ride for free, honey.
But maybe I'll make an exception for a pretty boy like you.
This car! What are you doing? A hooker wouldn't say that.
I'm a model.
I'm not an actress.
This is totally uncomfortable.
Everything is a drama with you.
I'm trying to make this relationship work.
And I'm not? I'm the one with candle-wax burns on her ass standing out on a street corner with her tits hanging out.
I bust my butt to fulfill every sexuaI desire you have.
I want a little goddamn appreciation.
Get in.
Mr.
Mantegna, tell me what you don't like about yourself.
That would be my tits.
I work out six times a week.
I hit my pecs twice.
Running, swimming, yoga.
I do the Zone delivery thing.
But I still can't seem to shake these hairy mouthfuls.
The gynecomastia procedure you need to fix those is extremely painful.
You'd have to wear a bra-like apparatus for six to eight weeks.
What's six weeks after a lifetime of titty jokes and rejection? Are you doing this because you were rejected by a woman? One woman? Try 30.
In one night.
This isn't about a particular woman, Dr.
Troy.
This is about my lifestyle.
I'm a swinger.
The problem is, swinging is like anything else in life.
It's a class system.
And I'm looking to move up.
You know, get involved with a higher class of people.
I'm sick of banging fat German chicks in front of their pasty husbands.
We've all been there.
Have you ever heard of The Scene? The Scene? It's the greatest swingers party of all time.
We're talking supermodels, actors, flawless talent.
They started throwing it twice a month in L.
A.
last year and it was so popular that now they're starting one up in Miami.
I have to get in.
It's an event.
The problem is that you have to submit a full body shot to the governing committee to get an invite, and mine got bounced for undisclosed reasons.
I bet a guy like you would have no trouble getting in.
Cheer up, Mr.
Mantegna.
When we're done with you the only tits you'll be feeling up are gonna belong to Hooters girls.
I'm not bothering with the Harvard application.
Who needs those New England winters when the University of Miami provides year-round thong bikinis just minutes from the campus? I think I missed that section of the brochure.
God, this place is beautiful.
How can you afford it on a personaI trainer's salary? You're kidding me, right? I make $200 an hour from some of my clients.
Voilà! And now, la touche finale.
You like? Good.
Because there's something I want to ask you.
It's a big deaI for me, but I'll totally understand if you said no.
You know those moments in life where everything just opens up? TotaI clarity.
I had one of those moments the last time we were together at your house.
I looked at you, looked at your life, and realized something.
I wanna be a plastic surgeon.
But I can't do it without you.
Miami has a speciaI program that fast-tracks you into a plastic-surgery residency as soon as you're out of school but the catch is, they need a year-long internship with a surgeon in order to get in.
You wanna work with my husband? Would that be a problem for you? No.
Not at all.
I can ask.
Sean can be a little funny about the business.
So I can't guarantee anything.
Of course you can.
Who'd say no to you? I forgot something.
The whipped cream.
You like? They're lovely.
So are you gonna do some modeling? God knows you're good-looking enough.
Thank you, but No, they're for something else.
Yeah? Linda, can you void the billing on this case? Megan O'Hara? Which one's she? She backed out of a breast reconstruction a few weeks ago.
Policy says I still have to bill her for her pre-op and lab work anyway.
I know what policy is.
I wrote the policy.
Just do it.
What was that all about? - Is everything all right? - Everything's fine.
I was just driving by Rascals and I know how you've been jonesing for a Reuben for weeks.
Are you sure that's a Reuben? Smells more like a bribe to me.
Can't a woman just do something nice for her husband? A woman can definitely do something nice for her husband.
You driving 20 minutes to bring me lunch sounds like a woman who wants her husband to do something nice for her.
All right.
I need a favor.
I want you to take my friend Jude on as an intern.
I know you're not fond of him- I never said I wasn't fond of him.
I'm just gonna have to ask Christian before we take anyone on.
Will you? I mean, all you have to let him do is make lunch runs, clean the O.
R Actually, I've always wanted to mentor someone.
Hello, Dr.
Troy.
Can I take your temperature? What? - I thought you'd like it.
- I do.
You don't.
I spent $400 on this.
I'm just trying to do what you wanted and spice things up.
Here's the dilemma.
You think a jockey wants to see his girlfriend dressed like a horse? I'm around nurses all day, sweetheart.
If I wanted to screw one of them, I would have by now.
You wanna spice things up? What are we gonna do? We're gonna do what you do best, sweetheart.
We're gonna take some pictures.
Really sexy.
What's my motivation in these? To get us laid.
You ever hear of something called The Scene? The sex party.
One of the girls at the Tampax shoot was talking about it.
But don't we have to sleep with other people to go to something like that? - Aren't I enough? - You're plenty, baby.
I'm just looking to put some frosting on our cake.
We don't have to do anything we don't wanna do.
What the hell? What the hell Mom, this isn't a big deal.
Having three-way sex in my house is a very big deal, Matt.
You guys are lucky that that was all I was doing.
I know kids hooked on crank kids who are plotting to blow up the school.
Congratulations.
You win the award for least screwed-up teenager.
You guys are sending me mixed messages.
I mean, how can Dad give me a condom and then expect me not to have sex in my own room? You gave him a condom? I just wanted him to be safe.
And you didn't discuss it with me? I didn't think we had to discuss everything I say to my own son.
When it comes to his sex life, you do.
Yeah, and you wonder why I'm having threesomes when you two are such a fine example of traditionaI coupling.
Go to your room.
And don't slam the door.
Now I see how you can be so nonchalant about this.
You've been encouraging it.
All I've been encouraging, Julia, is a relationship with my son.
He's just started to trust me and communicate with me.
I don't wanna throw all that away over something as small as this.
Small! A 16-year-old having a three-way is about as big as it gets! This is the problem.
You tell me to be a more involved parent then judge me for the choices I make.
No one is judging you, Sean.
I just need you to understand that the choices and the attitudes that you have are gonna have reaI implications in the lives of our kids.
What are you doing? I'm calling those girls' parents.
We're all gonna sit down and we're gonna have a conversation about this.
A sexuaI intervention? All that's gonna do is humiliate him.
You can't just be the good guy, Sean.
Handing out prophylactics and slapping him on the back for his conquests.
Welcome to the wonderfuI world of parenting.
Part of me agrees with Julia.
The other part is saying, "Way to go, Matt.
" We all want more for our children than we had.
He never mentioned anything about this to you? No.
Of course not.
You all right? My neck seized up this morning.
Must have slept funny.
Twenty milligrams of Vicodin and a blowjob will clear that right up.
If drug abuse isn't your thing, why not try a chiropractor? Wasn't that patient we treated a few weeks ago a back-cracker? Which one? Sexy curls.
Double mastectomy.
You and she seemed to really hit it off.
Right.
I think I remember her.
Maybe I'll try and see her after work.
Shit, I forgot.
Julia wants to have some kind of family meeting with those girls' parents tonight.
Can you take the consult with Schiraldi this afternoon? God, I wish I was single sometimes.
You know the saying: "For every beautifuI woman "there's a guy who is tired of screwing her.
" Four-millimeter cannula? Three.
Thank you.
Do you have any feelings about taking on a college intern? What's she look like? He is a friend of Julia's from school.
Jude something.
I could use the points.
She's pissed that I'm not outraged enough about Matt's three-way.
All right with me, partner.
I'd rather have the kid hanging around here, than sitting shirtless by your pool feeding the wife margaritas.
Hi, I'm Jude.
Vivian Schiraldi.
You're not here to get anything done, are you? Because you certainly are the after picture.
I'm here to have my eyes looked at.
This isn't an optometrist's office.
The wrinkles around my eyes.
I've tried the expensive creams.
Nothing's working.
It's barely noticeable.
Really.
Unless you're up close.
It's my post-divorce gift to myself.
What? You're a knockout.
You really are.
You don't need anything done.
But since you're getting your eyes done anyway I think your ears are a little off balance.
A millimeter at the most.
Balance takes off years.
Mrs.
Schiraldi.
- I'm Dr.
Troy.
- Hello.
If you'll just step down the hall, my office is the first door on the left.
Jude Sawyer.
Dr.
McNamara told me to come by.
You worked her pretty good.
Got a thing for hot middle-aged moms? Only if they've got a thing for me.
- You're here to intern, right? - That was the plan, yes.
Take it to the Biscayne Wash on 15th.
Talk to a guy named Zook.
Have it back by 3:00, and no eating in the ride.
By the way you were off about Mrs.
Schiraldi's ears by two millimeters.
My partner actually brought your name up this morning when he saw my neck.
I'd totally forgotten you were a chiropractor.
You should thank him.
You're all out of whack.
Something new going on at home? Let's see.
My son's sex life belongs in a Penthouse letter.
And my wife seems to have turned on me because of it.
Besides that, things- That's not where it hurts.
Everything's connected.
You should know that, Doctor.
Injuries and tension aren't caused by externaI events.
They're caused by how you react to them.
I'm really trying to be open-minded and flexible.
Being open-minded isn't a cure-all, Sean.
You can't just examine the situation decide what the appropriate open-minded response is supposed to be, and then follow through.
Especially if that's not what your heart is telling you is the right thing to do.
Your neck isn't spasming because you're inflexible.
Your neck is spasming because you're not being honest with who you are.
According to everyone in my life, who I am is a rigid prick.
Don't judge yourself.
When you want water, a rock is useless.
But it's the best thing in the world when you wanna keep something important from flying away.
I'm a rock.
Now roll over, and I'll open that neck up.
I just need a second.
I should go.
I'm really sorry.
Sean, it's all right.
It happens.
Look, it was unprofessionaI of me to start working on you without talking about what happened between us.
I'm glad it happened.
I'm not upset about it.
We were both feeling lonely, and for that moment coming together made that feeling go away.
But now, that moment is gone.
It has to be gone.
Good.
I'm glad.
I was worried you thought it was more than it was.
Can I see you again? On a professionaI basis? Please.
That swelling isn't going away on its own.
Yeah.
Look try to be honest with your feelings untiI then no matter what they are.
Would now be the right time to break out the cyanide Kool-Aid? I really need your support tonight, Sean.
You've got it.
Can we start this thing now? Okay, everybody.
We all know why we're here.
Something a little disturbing has happened and I think we should all talk about it so that we know it won't happen again.
Agreed? This is gonna have to be a frank conversation.
We have to remember that we're all adults.
We've all had sex.
Otherwise, none of you kids would be here.
We just need to remember to be honest with our feelings no matter what they are.
What's the point in talking when Mom's already decided that what we were doing is wrong? It was wrong, Matt.
It had serious consequences that I don't think you've even considered.
Pregnancy, disease, hurt feelings.
You know, you kids, you think you're all grown up, but you're not.
I don't see what the big deaI is.
I read this thing in People about 12-year-olds giving blowjobs to their Secret Santas.
This stuff is just kids being kids nowadays.
I'm sorry, Alexi.
Stealing a six-pack is kids being kids.
This is much more than that.
Hold on a minute, Julia.
There was a documentary recently where a man named Marilyn Manson said that if he could say anything to the kids of America he wouldn't say a word.
He'd listen.
Matt, we obviously don't understand why you kids did this.
Why don't you try to explain it to us? I don't want an explanation.
I want him to promise that it won't happen again.
An empty promise isn't gonna get to the source of the problem if there is a problem at all.
How can you even look at yourselves in the mirror and call what we were doing a problem? Dad spends one week at home, the next in a motel.
Mom spends all of her time with some guy who's barely older than me.
We were having sex just like every other teenager in the world with a condom that Dad gave me Looks like we found the source of the problem.
Excuse me, but are you blaming us for this? I'm sorry, but whose house did this happen in? Ours, Lexi's, or this opium den? That's only because my mom's unemployed and you guys took all the locks off Vanessa's doors.
Trust me, honey.
Being on alimony is not being unemployed.
Placing blame isn't gonna get us anywhere.
Julia is a good parent.
We're all good parents.
Good parents teach their son how to keep his dick in his pants and to be smart enough not to try to cut it off.
- Daddy! - Robert, you are out of line.
Fine, I'm sorry.
But to be honest, I don't care whose fault this is.
I'd rather not know any more about my daughter's sex life than I already do.
She's assured us that this was a one-time thing and we're satisfied with that.
Is this true, Matt? Was it a one-time thing? Yeah, pretty much.
Ridley, is this your story as well? It's okay, honey.
You can be honest here.
No one's gonna get upset.
We've done it before.
I'm sorry, Vanessa.
I tried.
What Dr.
McNamara said is true.
I have to be honest with my feelings no matter what they are.
I'm not like you.
I'm not a lezzie.
What's a lezzie? Your daughter likes vagina.
I really like you, Vanessa.
I think you're cool, pretty, sexy, and all but I'm in love with Matt now.
We've been seeing each other.
That's not true.
Deny it, Matt.
But I love you.
I've had enough.
Come on.
Open and honest enough for you? Honestly, am I being too uptight about this? For my tastes, yes.
But I've always found threesomes to be very satisfying.
You've had one? Jesus, is there anyone under 30 who still believes in monogamy? There's a big difference between monogamy and fidelity, Jules.
Just look at it from Matt's perspective.
Every guy wants a shot at two girls at once.
Tell me you've never fantasized about being with two men at the same time.
What are you getting all dolled up for? A hot date? You don't want to know.
- Come on.
- No way.
Not after how you reacted to Matt's little ménage.
I'm not a prude.
I just hold my kids to higher standards.
You know those The photos you saw the other day.
- Remind me again.
- The provocative ones.
Well, they were audition shots.
For a party.
What kind of party do you have to audition for to get into? A swingers party.
You still feeling open-minded? No.
I mean, yes.
I'm just surprised.
You take such good care of your body.
Aren't you worried about diseases? We use protection.
You're still sleeping with totaI strangers.
They could be psychopaths.
I knew I shouldn't have said anything.
I knew you'd get all uptight.
I'm not uptight.
I just don't get the attraction of that lifestyle.
Then come with me.
You're joking.
I'm a married woman.
You don't have to do anything.
Just come by.
Check it out.
You'll find that that lifestyle is much more attractive than you think.
This is ridiculous.
How can I be part of something like that when I've just grounded my son for doing something half as sordid? Look, Julia I'm no parent.
If you want to understand what's going on in Matt's life you gotta get into the reaI world.
Threesomes.
Foursomes.
Moresomes.
They're like Starbucks.
They're everywhere.
Just look at it as a field trip for modern parenting.
- Let's get a drink.
- Let's go.
What's the matter now? What if somebody sees us here? That Neutrogena contract I'm up for has a morality clause, you know? Are you kidding me? Look around.
There hasn't been a party this hot since Versace's '96 New Year's Eve bash.
Being seen here is gonna do nothing but help your career.
First time? Thought so.
Hi, I'm Mia, one of the hosts of tonight's party.
- Thank you.
- Let me show you around.
As you can see, this isn't a rave.
There's no aggressive behavior allowed.
Think of The Scene as a sexuaI buffet with the finest of gourmet foods.
You can eat all you want, or you can nibble.
That's up to you.
For your protection, each of the rooms comes complete with an array of condoms.
Rooms? Pleasure chambers.
Orgy.
Voyeur.
Role-play.
GirI on girl.
Any questions, come see me.
Enjoy.
Thanks.
Do you think these girls are prettier than me? You are the hottest piece of ass in this place.
And you're mine.
But if I'm gonna do this one-woman thing it can't be with just one woman.
Whatever happens here I'm with you, and you're with me.
What do you wanna do first? Can she come out and play? Hey, Dad.
- You got a minute? - What's up? Nothing alarming.
Don't worry.
I just wanna tell you I appreciate what you did at the intervention thing.
You had my back.
You're my son, Matt.
I always have your back.
Even when you feeI like I'm riding it.
Is Mom coming home for dinner? She's studying with Jude.
You wanna grab a bite? I can't.
I got a date with Ridley.
Is that the kind of man you're gonna be, Matt? What's that supposed to mean? When your mother got pregnant with you I didn't care if you were a boy or a girl, as long as you were healthy.
After a few months, I didn't even care if you were healthy or not.
You were mine.
I was gonna love you no matter what.
I never really cared if you excelled in schooI or athletics or what you decided to do with your life.
The only thing I ever wanted for you was that you be a good person not someone who would hurt someone intentionally.
I didn't mean to hurt her, Dad.
I didn't.
Vanessa's gay, Matt.
It's not a choice.
You dating her friend is.
Julia! Dr.
Troy.
Oh, my God, this is so embarrassing.
I told you we'd run into someone I know.
Everything okay, Dr.
Troy? You look a little flush.
I'm fine.
I just thought you were someone else.
Really? Who? Julia McNamara his partner's wife.
You look a bit like her, actually.
No need to be embarrassed, Mrs.
Schiraldi.
My lips are sealed.
In that case we're gonna hit the voyeur room.
Wanna come? - Maybe later.
- Okay.
Where'd you go? I needed some air.
Did you see? I did everything you asked me to.
You were sexy, baby.
Wanna get out of here? I think we're gonna be okay.
She's at his place studying almost every day.
Now she's stashing pornographic pictures of him in her schoolbook? - Something's going on.
- Burn it and stop worrying.
She's not sleeping with him.
How can you be so sure? Because you and Julia are both too honest to cheat.
He's probably worn out his welcome here though, don't you think? I can't fire him.
She'd think I was doing it because I was jealous.
And she'd be right.
I'll take the bullet for you on this one.
The kid's bad news.
He reminds me of me at that age.
The extra blood work you ordered on Cliff Mantegna.
You might wanna check out Page 2.
Hepatitis C? - Is that like AIDS? - It's a virus.
You were probably infected by one of your sexuaI partners.
Am I gonna die? The fatality rate is very low but the chances of chronic infection are high.
You're gonna have to get tested periodically for liver disease.
Why didn't you tell me this before my surgery? We usually don't run the full STD panel on our patients.
The law says we have to work on you no matter what you have but given your lifestyle, I thought, as a courtesy I'd run it through free of charge.
I thought you could use it to get into more parties.
I wasn't anticipating this.
You're gonna have to inform your future sexuaI partners.
That I'm sick? What swingers group is gonna want me after that? Two months in this bra.
All that money.
This pain.
And for what? So that I can try to find some girl who doesn't care that I'm sick and be monogamous? I can't do that.
I can't.
I can't just go back to normaI life.
What am I gonna do? You wanted to see me? Yeah.
Come in.
Some party, huh? That Mrs.
Schiraldi.
She's quite the hellcat.
This is a business not a pickup joint.
You're right.
It won't happen again.
That's right, it won't.
Because I want you out of here today.
You're kidding me, right? And take some advice.
Back off Julia as well.
Who are you, her husband? Her husband's best friend.
And partner.
Very weird how upset you were when you thought Mrs.
Schiraldi was Julia at the party.
It was as if I was there with your wife.
That and the way she talks about you could give someone the wrong impression.
Just a guess but I bet you won't be flashing those pearly whites after I make a few calls and tell my pals at the University of Miami that I fired you.
You make that call, Dr.
Troy, to the university.
That will give me free time to have a nice lunch with your partner, and tell him that you're in love with his wife.
Do it.
Just make sure your insurance is paid up.
Try moving it now.
Amazing.
Yeah, we're not all quacks, no matter what the AMA says.
My partner didn't have to remind me that you're a chiropractor.
I've never forgotten anything about you.
Sean, don't.
You said I should be honest with my feelings, no matter what they are.
Sometimes people can be too honest.
I can't stop thinking about you.
Just tell me you don't feeI the same way, and you'll never see me again.
It doesn't matter how I feel.
You're married and I'm barely divorced I think you're beautiful.
That's my point.
The way you look at me I don't think I can let myself be that vulnerable with a man that I can't have.
Who says you can't have me? You asshole.
Nice to see you too, Jules.
How could you fire my friend without talking to me about it first? This internship was very important to him.
If it was, he shouldn't have taken one of our clients to a swingers party.
You should reconsider who you are friends with.
He could've hurt our business.
Bullshit, Christian.
This isn't about the business.
This is about you and me.
- You can't stand the competition.
- Don't flatter yourself.
This is about you playing Demi Moore with a 25-year-old kid with an overactive libido.
The one with the overactive libido is a middle-aged surgeon.
I'm looking after my best friend's interests.
You're my partner's wife.
His well-being is intimately tied to mine.
You fired him for revenge.
Someone else is interested in me and you can't stand it.
Please.
I can have anything I want, any time I want it.
You can't have me.
Can't I? Face the cold, hard facts, Julia.
You're still pining away for me like you have been for years.
Your boytoy is me.
Fifteen years younger than you.
Poor man's version of me.
Have you kissed him yet? You couldn't handle it if I did.
When you did, were you thinking of me? You know what I was just thinking about? What? Jude.