Nothing to See Here (2023) s01e07 Episode Script

1
NOTHING TO SEE HERE
PART 2
THE PEARL
This is the second time
pasty Stevie Wonder has ruined my show.
-I've never seen this asshole before.
-See what I mean.
Whatever happened
between you is your problem.
What matters now
is that the show must go on!
-You've always wanted to say that.
-Totally.
Technically, he was up before anal polyp.
Technically, he's not on the list.
-Polyp what?
-We said we'd fix it and we did.
-Uh-huh.
-No, the contest was about to end.
Adding someone isn't fair.
No, the contest was Alexis's idea.
He's not a last-minute addition.
He was gonna participate
from the beginning.
Are you chicken?
Who's he talking to?
I'm talking to the wannabe comic
who wants to take my place.
Did you just call me chicken?
What are you, eight?
For real?
Then why are you afraid?
A Chihuahua is scarier.
Why would I be afraid of you?
Last time, I made you look ridiculous.
Beginner's luck.
Yeah, that's what sore losers say.
I'm not staying if he's in.
No.
Okay, I'll do it.
But on one condition.
I get to be the closer.
Condition accepted
because we interrupted you.
Start preparing, pappy.
Get lost!
What the fuck is going on?
Why's one-eye Lupita here?
Ask her yourself.
That's why we brought her.
I don't need you to lead me.
We've gotta hurry.
-Right, fucking Usain Bolt.
-Here we are, relax.
Wow!
What a surprise, dear Lupita!
Indeed, my dear Chocho.
I came to keep an eye on you.
Just look at the mess you made.
Two blind men enter a bar…
Not even the Kardashians are this popular.
Do you see how many shares it has?
I came here to shut you down,
but my friend Alex--
-Alexis.
-Alexis.
Alexis, my good friend Alexis,
touched me with his story.
-Have you heard it, asshole?
-No.
So moving, I almost cried.
-You're not shutting me down?
-Not if this goes well.
This bastard is going on stage
to tell his jokes and stuff.
And he'll come down safe and sound.
Then he'll post a video
saying this place is real inclusive,
full of inclusivity and inclusiveness,
and all that shit.
And the problem will be resolved.
Resolved? As simple as that?
As simple as that.
As simple as that.
Just don't fuck this up, Chocho.
No surprises.
Then go and get dressed.
Get dressed for success.
I don't need you to hold my arm.
You're walking too slow and sweating.
Are you nervous?
Ready, bro? Remember,
the only thing to fear is fear itself.
Johanna, girlfriend.
"Johanna, girlfriend," dude?
I forgot to change the ringtone.
You should take it.
You aren't picking up your calls either.
-Dude.
-Just standing up for equality.
Killer keeps bugging me.
He wants me to go to the party.
Go. It's important to you, right?
-This is just a joke contest.
-Just a joke contest?
You don't have to babysit me.
I'm not babysitting.
I'm here because it's important to you.
And your thing is important too.
Don't miss out because of me.
Got your diaper on, boy?
You don't wanna piss the stage.
You're still here.
I thought you'd run away.
I was about to say that about you.
Oh, good one.
Add it to your routine,
so at least one of your jokes
will be your own.
That was low.
But pretty sharp for a retard.
-What's wrong with you, dog?
-Relax.
It's fine. We gotta get ready.
For the umpteenth time,
stop grabbing my arm, damn it!
I can go alone.
That's it!
Cripple fight, let's go!
I'd love to kick your ass.
But it's more satisfying
to do it on stage, asshole.
Wait.
Do you want us to rough him up, bro?
Okay, I see what's going on.
You're stressed.
-I'm not stressed!
-You're stressed.
The chair is here.
Sit down and concentrate.
What the fuck was that?
-We're trying to focus.
-What the fuck?
-What?
-That babysitting shit.
Should I leave you two alone?
-I don't need a babysitter.
-No shit, I'm not your nanny.
Fine, I'll stay and pretend I'm not here.
Hasn't it crossed your mind?
-You know what I'm talking about.
-No, I don't.
I mean us, being together.
We are together.
Long-term.
What it entails to live with a blind guy,
being with a blind person.
For fuck's sake, we just met
and screwed a couple of times.
I wanna know if it bothers you.
Having to take care of me,
helping me do stuff.
How long will it take you to run away?
Okay, we're all stressed.
Let's take some deep breaths.
I don't care if you're blind.
What bothers me
is that you're sabotaging yourself
when you finally got what you wanted.
-I'm coming in.
-Make yourself comfortable.
All right,
this will be settled tonight.
The rest of the comedians are crap.
Thanks for making me feel important.
The audience decides with its applause.
It's very simple.
Bravo, an applause-o-meter!
This has got to be
the greatest honor of my damn life.
What does the kid want?
A special panel of judges?
For fuck's sake!
This is a joke contest in a shitty bar.
A bunch of drunk idiots
will decide who's the winner.
Let's get this over with.
Who the hell cares?
-I care.
-Knock-knock.
-She's looking for Alexis.
-He's in the West Wing.
Alexis?
-Mom, what are you doing here?
-Thanks.
Can we talk in private?
There's privacy to spare in this room,
Mrs. Lolis.
I wanted…
to show you this.
What is it?
It's what I gave up for you.
They're photographs.
You're here to blame me
for destroying your dreams?
Excuse me.
What do you want, dude?
-I'm here.
-Here where?
Out here.
Can we talk?
Are you coming in? I mean…
Tell him to come in.
There's space on the ceiling.
And just so you know,
I'm not running away.
We did it more than a couple of times.
I mean, it's not like
we screw all day, Mom.
Fucking hell.
Damn.
Get ready. Ten minutes to go, okay?
Sorry.
I couldn't help it.
Fucking hell.
Okay then, excuse me.
Cool photos.
Thanks.
I didn't drop photography
to take care of you.
I stopped because…
I didn't know how to share it with you.
Until I found this photograph.
This photograph
was taken by you when you were 11.
-I took it?
-Yes.
You grabbed the camera
and without me saying a thing,
you took this photo.
Back then, I didn't understand.
But I understand now
that what's important
isn't what you see in the photo
but all the life that surrounds it.
The moments we shared together.
The emotions.
That's the way
I can share what I do with you.
And now I'm here because
I want you to share what you do with me.
Five minutes.
This time it's your turn.
Are you ready?
I'm scared.
Of what?
Of being the dog that caught the car.
No.
Everything will turn out okay, Alexis.
More than okay.
-Why are you babysitting a blind guy?
-Hey!
That guy is worthless, girl.
He'll drag you down.
You've got a lot of talent.
Hey.
You and I could do
so many things together.
Many things.
Together.
How many groupies did you fuck
when we were together?
That's fucking shit, dude.
And I know I have a lot of talent.
So I don't need you.
I don't need you to introduce me
to anyone to get a break.
I'll find it on my own.
So quit it, dude. Enough.
Stop following me.
Fucking drama queen.
And I'm not his babysitter.
I'm just with him,
and I will be for a while.
Get it?
Five minutes left, man.
What a fucking day, right?
Are you ready?
-Alexis.
-What?
-Are you ready?
-Yes.
-What will you talk about?
-I don't know.
What do you mean you don't know?
Did I have time to prepare a routine?
No, but you must have a prompt, right?
I'll improvise. That's what I do.
-That's what prompts are for.
-What do you suggest?
Alexis, you're blind.
Everyone's expecting blind jokes.
They've worked so far.
I'm fucking sick of talking about that.
That's what you are, talk about yourself.
Why must everything revolve around that?
I'm more than that.
I don't know what you and your mom
talked about or what's up with Azul.
But if you're having
an existential crisis,
believe me,
this is the worst fucking time.
-Not before you go on stage.
-Easy for you to say.
Oh, for me it's easy to say?
Yeah, you don't have
everyone's eye on you.
You think it's easy, asshole?!
Knowing no one cares about me?
Having been abandoned by everyone?
No one's taking care of me?
Half the people think I was run over,
and those who don't think I was run over
think I'm a fool.
Poor blind guy!
You know how hard it is
to explain to every fucking person
that I'm not stupid?
Just 'cause they can't bother
to grab their phones
and look up cerebral palsy.
So say it to my face again,
that it's easy for me!
So… Chocho is looking for Alexis because--
Two minutes!
Okay.
I don't know what you're gonna do or say,
just don't fuck it up.
Who cares?
It's a joke contest in a shitty bar.
That's not what I'm talking about,
and you know it!
Thanks for your patience,
ladies and gentlemen.
We've had a last-minute change.
As my dear friend Charly already told you…
He used to be my bouncer at the door.
No? Okay.
Our penultimate contestant
is a young man…
who's different.
Before bringing him on stage,
I wanna specify
that I'm complying with all safety codes
required by Civil Protection.
Anyway. Here we go.
Ladies and gentlemen,
from Querétaro,
a man with a vision…
uh…
with a unique look in his eye.
Give a big round of applause
for Alexis "Little Egg Eyes"!
You're up, dude.
Over here. Here's the mic.
There you go.
That fan made a false start.
Good evening.
How are you?
How are you?
-Good!
-Good!
-Good.
-Good!
I can't see that.
What a great start!
Are you gonna tell blind jokes all night?
What next?
Oh, I know.
You'll put the mic aside and say,
"This thing is obstructing my view."
Good material.
Shut up already!
Or else I'll split that unibrow
in two with my fist!
Your babysitter
has better material than you.
No, she's not my babysitter.
When my mom gave birth to me,
they turned my lights off.
They turned my lights off
and my mom would pawn everything.
The TV set,
the stove.
My…
My mom would pawn everything.
And then she pawned your corneas.
Such an original joke.
Huh?
What else you got?
Huh?
You made such a fuss for this?
We're reaching the place of exploitation
to shut it down.
Say no to exploitation!
Say no to exploitation!
You!
They're still exploiting the blind guy.
What's going on?
We're fed up!
We won't keep quiet anymore.
No more jokes about the handicapped!
"Handicapped" isn't used anymore.
It's too offensive, dude.
And they humiliated him as well!
You used him as a bouncer. I saw it.
Because of a breach of contract.
No, I'm the victim here.
Guys, what matters here
is this place must be shut down.
What?
It's normalizing offensive humor.
No! I promise she's laughing
at something else.
Do you know what you're all doing?
You're humiliating the disabled
from a position of privilege.
And that's awful.
Because, although they're disabled,
they have feelings like everyone else.
Did you just say,
"like everyone else," asshole?
I'm leaving.
No!
MEXICO CITY DEPARTMENT OF CIVIL PROTECTION
NOTICE OF CLOSURE
Guys, a group selfie?
Selfie!
Hashtag
NoToExploitation.
Great view, no?
You're leaving?
Now that I think about it,
it's fine that you lost
a contest in a shitty bar.
That's the problem.
I fell before I crossed the line.
This is as far as I'll go.
You literally fell on your face, man.
-This is all a joke to you.
-No.
Not at all.
I've never taken anything so seriously.
You wanna hear a joke?
It's a bad one, like the ones
you tried telling last night.
You didn't even try to fight back
when they kicked your ass.
-What happened?
-Nothing.
Nothing? You ran away like a dog
with a tail between its legs.
Bro, was it what I said?
If it was what I said,
forgive me. Things were so tense,
it just came out.
I'm not cut out for this.
Then why did we come?
To know what's on the other side.
Nothing for me.
You got stage fright.
Big deal.
And if you fell off the stage,
who the hell cares?
Nobody knows us here.
-That's not it.
-Then what?
I didn't know what to do
when I caught the car.
And what did the dog
that caught the car do?
Nothing, you already told me.
He realized he was useless and went back.
He chased another car, Alexis.
I don't wanna chase other cars.
It was good while it lasted.
Time to go back.
Maybe for you but not for me.
Then this is goodbye?
No, it's not goodbye.
It's a retreat,
because you're a coward, Alexis.
Whatever.
You pulled me out of a shithole.
That's what you said,
that you pulled me out of a shithole.
Now you're dumping me in another shithole.
What kind of friend are you?
A cowardly one, like you said.
My mom's waiting in case you wanna come.
I don't want to.
You and your mom can go to hell!
Okay.
I sold my car for you!
And you owe me half the rent!
Are you sure about this, Alexis?
It's your dream, son.
It was just one fall.
Well, metaphorically speaking.
Can we go now?
-Yes.
-Hello.
Hello.
Okay, I'll wait in the car.
Are you also gonna tell me I'm a coward?
No.
-You're dodging a bullet.
-Oh yeah?
You're the one
who seems to be dodging things.
In the end, who's the one who ran away?
Subtitle translation by: Avalos Fernanda.