Physical (2021) s01e07 Episode Script

1 I'm Danny Rubin, and I'm running for State Assembly.
- Daddy, TV! - This is my beautiful wife, Sheila, - and our daughter, Maya.
- That's right, sweetie.
Daddy's on TV.
Did you hear that, babe? She said, "Daddy, TV".
Is that cute or what? - Save Our Wave - Huh? Yeah.
It's cute.
- [TELEVISION CONTINUES.]
- Hey, babe.
You did this.
Credit where credit's due.
[PHONE RINGS.]
That's probably one of your fans.
[CHUCKLES.]
- Let's see.
- [RINGING CONTINUES.]
- Hello.
- [WOMAN.]
Hello.
Is this Rubin for assembly headquarters? May I ask who's calling, please? [WOMAN.]
Certainly.
This is Maggie from KTSD Accounting.
How are you doing today? I'm well.
We had a problem with the check you sent for payment.
It looks like it got returned to us.
Oh.
Oh, that must have been a clerical mistake on our end.
Uh, we'll send another one out to you right away.
Great.
If you wouldn't mind sending that as soon as possible so we can avoid having to pull the ad off the air, that would be terrific.
We'll take care of this right away.
I'm so sorry for the mix-up.
[SHEILA.]
That bitch is gonna love this.
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS.]
Tanya, it's Sheila.
[CHUCKLES.]
Sheil, hi.
Did you hear I was pregnant? Oh, yes.
I got your card.
It's beautiful.
Uh, the house, you.
Oh, my God.
I know, right? I'm just so happy for you both.
Oh, life is sweet.
Life is sweet.
And how are you and Danny doing? Not so good.
Thank you for asking.
Danny and I could really use your help.
We hate LA.
We We're LA haters.
At least we were.
[DANNY.]
Yeah, we still are.
LA is the land of the phonies and the sellouts.
And we have three events on this weekend already.
Like the Pacific Beach weenie roast that five people showed up to? Those were five voters.
Nobody in LA can even vote for you, even if they could read the ballot.
I I think Jer's got a point here, babe.
I mean, the clock is ticking.
Time is running out, and I'm wasting that time, you know, shaking hands and kissing babies outside the constituency.
Listen, you wanna go to La-La Land and hang with Loni Anderson, be my guest.
But wait until you've been elected.
All right? Right now it's just a distraction.
[SHEILA.]
You are not letting that hippie turd derail this.
Hey, I I don't like the place any more than you do, but LA is where the big money is.
We can make more in one night at Jack and Tanya's than we can in a month of San Diego weenie roasts.
It's a better use of your time and energy.
We're just building some momentum.
We can't stop now.
[BUNNY.]
Okay! [CHEERING.]
Great workout, guys.
Hey, dude! I mean, sup? Just, you know, you haven't been by, like, in a little bit.
Yeah.
[SIGHS.]
Sorry about that, Tyler.
My tape guy's set to dupe us more copies as soon as we nail down the cover art.
So I was playing around with a couple options.
Are you stoked on either of these.
I Feel free to be just, like, super honest.
[DREAMY MUSIC PLAYS.]
[STAMMERS.]
But you don't have to go out of your way to be hurtful.
- These are great.
- Seriously? - [CHUCKLES.]
- That means Whoa.
I mean, that feels rad that you like them.
- Yeah, especially this one.
- That's by far my fave as well.
If I'm being fully honest, this other one is total dog shit.
I mean, uh, it's just it's just not what I expected.
It's It's very cool.
Two grand should cover the first run.
Four if we're feeling good.
These things are gonna sell like hot [SHEILA.]
You don't have two grand.
You barely have two nickels to rub together.
What are you thinking? So, um, I'm actually out of town for a few days.
- I was hoping that Bunny can - [BUNNY.]
You're leaving.
Hmm.
That makes sense.
- Yeah, just for a few days.
- [TYLER.]
Yeah, Bun.
- For a few days.
- Mm-hmm.
And when I get back, we'll get things rolling.
- Yeah, Bun.
When she gets back.
- Mmm.
Mm-hmm.
- [SHEILA.]
Motherfucking piece of shit.
- [JERRY.]
Here you go, hon.
[SIGHS.]
I already got it, but thanks.
My pleasure.
You packed a lot.
You sure you're just going away for the weekend? I like to have options.
[SHEILA.]
And I like to wear underwear.
Heard of it? Gonna go visit your parents while you're up there? I'm sure Danny will love that.
I don't talk to my parents.
You know, Danny is smarter than I am about a lot of things.
Big picture stuff, ideas.
But he's got his blind spots too.
[HORN HONKS.]
Have a great weekend, Jerry.
[LAUGHING.]
What did you do? If we're gonna do this, might as well do it right.
- [SCOFFS.]
But how much did this cost? - No, no, relax.
Relax.
No, no charge at all.
Yeah, jogging buddy let me borrow it.
I saved his life.
Ended up being an ankle sprain.
But, you know, either way, I was the one there with the ice, so.
- Come on.
- ["WONDERFUL! WONDERFUL!" PLAYS.]
Here, come on.
Yeah.
You go over there.
- [SIGHS.]
Is this not the best? - What do you think? You like it? - Well, I got work to do, so.
- [SHEILA.]
Yeah? - Have a great trip.
- [DANNY.]
You do, huh? [LAUGHS.]
All right, Jerry.
Happy birthday to you ♪ Thank you, everybody.
Thank you, darling.
What? You didn't make a wish.
Well, I'm a little old for that now, don't you think? You're never too old for a wish.
Fine.
Um, I wish for the continued good health of my family.
You You can't say it out loud.
It's terrible luck.
And this year of all years, when you're turning the age when your father was called back.
We are a family of faith, not superstition, but there's no reason not to cover your bases.
Mother.
Thank you.
Here.
Have some cake.
Anyone else? Cake? [WOMAN CLEARS THROAT.]
- Yeah.
I'll have a piece.
- Mmm.
Who else? Anyone else? Cake? You sure you don't have to go potty, sweetie? Now's your chance.
Hey.
You are beautiful.
What? No, I'm disgusting.
- My hair The wind.
- No.
No, no, no, no, no.
It's too late.
- You already smiled.
- [SIGHS.]
Can't take it back.
[SIGHS.]
You know, none of this is promised.
The water, the land, the sky.
Not unless we take steps now to protect it for Maya.
So true.
Are you high? Did you have a puff of grass when I wasn't looking? Yeah.
- I drive better when I'm high.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- Just more focused.
- [BOTH CHUCKLE.]
Let me drive.
- [DANNY.]
Yeah? - Yeah.
- All right.
It's up to you.
- Come on, sweetie.
Let's go.
[EXHALES.]
Whoo.
- [BANG ON DOOR.]
- Ah, just a sec! [ERNIE.]
All right.
Let me in.
Yeah.
- Hey, I'm gonna go for a swim.
- Hey.
You want to come? I don't think so.
Remind me not to have those chili dogs they serve at the ninth hole.
They They never sit right.
[ERNIE SIGHS.]
[MAN.]
Welcome to paradise, folks.
Watch your step.
So the house was built by a Holocaust survivor by the name of Joseph Solokoff.
And after all that darkness he endured, you can really feel the embrace of light in his California architectural works, their sensuality, it's just life itself.
[CHUCKLES.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Joni Mitchell lives in a Solokoff.
- It's true.
- We're pretty sure that she does.
- [DANNY.]
Oh.
- It's breathtaking [SHEILA.]
how pretentious you've both become.
How many necklaces is he wearing? You're gonna wanna keep an eye on Maya.
- [MAN.]
Yeah.
- There's no railings.
- That's part of the Solokoff philosophy.
- That's right.
- Yeah.
Quite a drop you got over there.
- [CHUCKLES.]
I know, I know.
Sometimes I get vertigo.
- It's so funny.
- She does.
It's actually pretty serious.
[CHUCKLES.]
We don't It's so fun.
[SHEILA.]
I wonder what she'd look like falling down the canyon, holding on for dear life, and then letting go Seventy-six feet.
Yeah, and at the bottom, mountain lions.
- What? - The rest of the world has guard rails.
But not up here.
- Mmm.
- Here, we're still wild, untamed.
[SHEILA.]
And don't forget unappealing.
Ungroomed.
Okay, so every level of the house has a different view.
Do, uh, any of 'em have bathrooms? They all do.
[SCOFFS.]
- They all have bathrooms.
- [CHUCKLES.]
There's bathrooms.
Well good, 'cause it was a long drive, and I hope it was worth it.
- Okay, I'll be back.
- Come here, honey.
- Yay! - [GRUNTS.]
Ow.
[SIGHS.]
[SCRAPING.]
[TYLER.]
What's up? - [MAN.]
Sup? - [CHUCKLES.]
What's happening? Nada mucho, dude.
Dipping, shaping.
- Dude, living the dream, bro.
- [CHUCKLES.]
In the zone, bro.
So, what's up, man? You got work for me? We duping? I'm almost done with my last run.
I could really use the cash flow too.
Nah, sorry.
I've been a little held up in the, uh, cash department.
- Gonna have to wait.
- Dude.
[SIGHS.]
I know, dude.
[SIGHS.]
Well [SIGHS.]
I guess I gotta call the porn guys and see if they got any work for me.
I just don't love doing that stuff, man.
I mean, I'm a Christian, bro.
- Hurts the soul.
- I hear you.
I mean, not on the Christian thing, I'm a Buddhist atheist, but on the soul.
I mean, I I pray like a motherfucker too, dude.
Just, shit just keeps not going my way.
Uh, like a couple weeks ago, little dude comes in, orders a 5'8" thruster.
I work on it for weeks.
It's the prettiest one I've ever made.
And then guess what happens? Little dude disappears.
He stiffs me.
I mean, what am I supposed to do with a 5'8" thruster? [SCOFFS.]
Oh.
That's my size.
It's all right.
[SIGHS.]
Sadly, though, I I just don't have the dough.
I mean, my old lady would kill me.
We're supposed to be saving up, you know? It's all cool.
[SIGHS.]
I get it.
We do take credit cards now, if that helps.
But anyway.
[SIGHS.]
Pot churro? My girlfriend makes 'em.
Oh, I gotta do shit today, or I would.
Good choice.
It's a good choice.
They're pretty intense.
But [CHEWS.]
anyway.
Later, dude.
Christ be with you.
You know what? I On the other hand, they do smell pretty fucking killer.
Dude, help yourself, man.
[SHEILA.]
Thank you again.
It just makes such a difference to the campaign that you're helping and doing this.
- It's my pleasure.
- Thank you.
- Oh, my God.
[CHEWS.]
I can't stop.
- [BOTH CHUCKLE.]
I've been so hungry.
Mmm.
Were you like this with Maya? - I think so, yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
In this trimester, I'm so horny.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh, poor Jack.
I'm just running him ragged, begging for sex day and night.
- Do you wanna go over the guest list? - I don't know if it's to do with all the extra blood that's running in my veins or if this is, like, a normal thing for pregnancy, but I just feel flush with desire.
[SHEILA.]
Good Lord.
What won't she put in her mouth? animal, just sex.
Like, I Like, just meat.
You know what I mean? - Meat coming together.
- [PHONE RINGS.]
- Are you gonna get that? - Oh.
[CHUCKLES.]
I didn't hear it.
Hello.
May I ask who's speaking? Oh, sure.
One second.
Sheila, it's for you.
It's Jerry.
Someone named Jerry.
[GASPS.]
Wait, is that Jerry Goldman? [GASPS.]
From the Berkeley days? The quad streaker? - Oh, my God.
He's still alive? - I know.
Wow.
Jer bear, it's Tanya.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah.
- Guess what? I'm pregnant.
- Give me.
Hey, Jer.
Hey.
Hey, Sheil.
Uh, look, we got a problem, okay? I've been sitting here watching the boob tube all damn day, and I haven't seen our guy.
Oh, well well, you probably just missed it.
I've seen the Schmidt schmuck three times.
They haven't played our ad once.
Not once.
Do you know what's going on here? [SHEILA.]
A lot of jerking off, I'm guessing.
That asshole is paying them off, okay? Giving them double to kill our ad.
So I think I'm gonna go down to the TV station, and give them a piece of my mind.
Oh, no, Jerry.
No.
No.
Look.
Look.
Uh, you're probably right, but when you get this passionate, uh, you you tend to get into trouble.
Legal trouble.
I know.
We can't risk losing you at this point in the campaign.
You're too valuable.
Uh, I'll talk to them.
I'll I'll see what's going on.
[EXHALES.]
Okay.
[TV ANNOUNCER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY.]
Hey, you don't have any hand lotion in the house, do you? My hands are dry.
Yeah.
Yeah, in the guest bathroom.
Thanks, hon.
Okay.
[SHEILA.]
You called that one.
- I have the thank-you notes done.
- [BREEM.]
Oh, you're so good.
They just need your signature.
I like to get them done right away.
Otherwise, it never seems to happen.
It just gets pushed one day after another.
Mm-hmm.
Were you happy? - Excuse me? - Uh, with the party.
I I I tried to make it nice.
I know it looked simple.
Oh, you did a tremendous job as always.
Good.
Great.
I just wanted to make sure.
[CHUCKLES.]
Because it seemed like you were burdened emotionally.
Like, there might be stress in your mind and heart.
Uh, perhaps because of your father and certain memories.
Thank you, but it's it's not about that.
It's about the election.
I have quite a bit riding on the marina project, and if we don't win, it could all be in peril.
So the stress that I'm feeling is quite real and external.
That's what I thought.
Just making sure.
[CHUCKLES.]
[TANYA SCREAMING.]
[ROARS.]
That's gotta be an animal.
That can't be her.
- Uh, but what animal makes that sound? - [TANYA SCREECHING.]
We're only a few blocks from Sunset.
Well, if you listen to Jack, we're in the Serengeti.
[SCREAMING CONTINUES.]
- [JACK GROANING, MOANING.]
- Oh, no.
That That's - That's all her.
- [TANYA SCREAMING, ROARING.]
What is he doing to her? [CHUCKLES, SNORTS.]
How should I know? [MOANING CONTINUES.]
Oh, come on.
That was so long ago.
We were kids.
Well, it wasn't that long ago.
How was he? - Unmemorable.
- [CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
- [TANYA SCREECHING.]
- [SIGHS.]
- [JACK.]
Uh, okay.
Okay, okay.
- Oh, okay, now she's - [TANYA HOWLS.]
- she's just embarrassing herself.
- [TANYA.]
Whoo! Whoo! - Wow.
- [SCREAMING CONTINUES.]
- [GRUNTS.]
I think I think we can do better.
I don't know.
You gotta prove that.
[TANYA SCREECHING.]
["KISS YOU ALL OVER" PLAYS.]
[ERNIE.]
This looks so much better.
[ERNIE CHUCKLES.]
[SHEILA.]
He thinks I didn't see that? Hey.
Danny, Sheila, I want you to meet some great pals of mine.
- [SHEILA.]
Ah.
I wonder how they fuck.
- Oh.
That monster on top of her, pounding away.
Or maybe he just lays on his back like a manatee, and she has to climb on top and finish him - [DANNY.]
Honey.
Yeah.
- Yeah? Mmm? How many years have Jack and I known each other? You remember? [EXHALES.]
Ten, or I mean, since college.
So Well, we were in college.
[CHUCKLES.]
And I was just in the dorms, hanging around.
[ALL CHUCKLING.]
[WOMAN.]
I'm bad at math too.
But I'm really good at puzzles.
I'm a visual learner.
- [SHEILA.]
That can't be real.
- It's a pink diamond.
[DANNY CHATTERING.]
I had it appraised to be sure.
[DANNY.]
local representation is the foundation of democracy.
Jack, who's your local state assemblyman up here? Um, you really putting me on the spot 'cause we just moved up here.
- Um, but, uh - Okay.
I have I really don't have any idea.
Not sure? You don't know? - No.
- Well, that's all right.
You're not alone.
There's a lot of progressive people, especially here in California, that just get lazy, disengaged.
That's how the conservatives get away with it.
And I'm talking redistricting, I'm talking gutting social services.
- Can you believe that? - Let's let people maybe get a drink - before we get too political.
- That's right.
- Shall we? [CHUCKLES.]
- Yeah.
- Yeah, let's get these guys some drinks.
- Come with me.
- All right, we're gonna talk, Brian.
- Oh.
You know, I vote for another margarita.
- [JACK AND TANYA LAUGHING.]
- Jesus.
It's good.
This is good.
- There's so many people here.
- Yeah.
No, it's really - really going swell.
- [SIGHS.]
It's going great.
[CHATTERING.]
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS, FAINT.]
- Oh, dude.
- [SURFBOARD SHAPER.]
Hey, dude.
[CHUCKLES.]
- I thought we lost you there.
- [GROANS.]
How long was I sleeping? Huh, I don't know.
You You took a full churro, which I've never seen done.
It's unprecedented, guy your size.
Yeah.
I guess I was hungry.
Dude, never a good call with edibles.
But it's all good.
And we can settle up on the board later.
The board? Dude, look, don't tell me you don't remember.
I I spent all night airbrushing your tag on it.
It's an extra three hundo, but it looks so damn sweet.
Mmm.
["IF I SAW YOU AGAIN" PLAYS.]
- Hey.
- Oh, try one.
They're divine.
Oh, no.
Vegetarian, I can't.
I think it might be time for the ask.
- No.
They're potato and cheese, no meat.
- Oh.
- You need to have one.
- No, I'm good.
I don't want to.
But I feel like there's enough guests here now, so it's a good time.
And if you don't wanna introduce Danny, - I could do it.
- Look, Sheila.
- Just do it here in this circle.
- Sheila.
Listen, I am so sorry if I gave you the wrong idea.
But passing the hat around just, I mean, it seems like kind of a drag.
Uh, well But I was very clear on the phone that that we needed to raise funds.
Yeah, and I said I'd be happy to introduce you to people.
But putting people on the spot, [CHUCKLES.]
I mean, that's not really our scene.
[SHEILA.]
You absolute moron.
She was never gonna help you.
She just wanted to rub your face in it.
[JACK.]
The power of personal narrative really boils down to taking charge of the most important story we tell: the story of our own lives.
Politics, industry, diplomacy, right? It's not what we do, it's the story that we tell about it.
Now, to put it another way, it's it's Lying.
It's lying.
[CHUCKLING.]
You're You're telling people that facts don't matter.
No, I'm sorry.
Actually, you are selling people that facts don't matter.
You'll have to forgive my friend Danny, uh, he gets upset - when no one's paying attention to him.
- [LAUGHING.]
Oh, Belinda.
Belinda.
- I have a surprise for you.
- How do you know Belinda Westbrook? We're in the same water fitness class.
She says anything.
- Hi! [CHUCKLES.]
Yes.
- Sheila Dale Norton! [CHUCKLES.]
- Rubin now.
- [BELINDA.]
Oh, right.
Rubin.
- Yeah.
- Sorry.
I forgot.
You married that Jewish hippie to piss off your parents.
- [LAUGHS.]
She says anything.
- Oh, God.
That wasn't I didn't really I didn't do that.
I I didn't do that.
You are still the skinniest in the room, like always.
You know, Tanya, I am the one who taught her how to throw up before ballet class.
We all used to do it back then.
- [TANYA.]
No, that's terrible.
- [BELINDA.]
It's terrible.
- Wow.
- Oh, God.
It took me many years to get over that nonsense.
- [TANYA.]
Wow.
Mmm.
- [BELINDA.]
I Luckily for me, I met the most amazing psychologist - Mmm.
- Dr.
Salvator Amani, and he cracked me open.
You are worse than Reagan.
True Truly, you are.
I mean, he would have us believe that he fought in wars instead of acting in movies about them.
My book is not at all political.
[CHUCKLES.]
[SCOFFS.]
Everything is political.
Everything.
It was political when Reagan called in the national guard to fire weapons at American students.
Citizens who were peacefully protesting the war of aggression in Vietnam.
Oh.
Here we go.
Here we go with the Vietnam.
[CHUCKLES.]
You don't still do it, do you? Sneak off and barf? What? Oh, my God.
Of course not.
That's teenage stuff.
And I'm not a teenager, obviously.
Anymore.
[SHEILA.]
No, you're old and still sick.
- You're worse.
- [TANYA CHUCKLES.]
You know, Dr.
Amani helped me see that it was never really about food.
- Mmm.
- It's about control.
- Control.
- Mm-hmm.
It's a fact.
I was there and so were you.
Till you took off, and ran for the hills while the rest of us were getting beaten and arrested.
And yet you begged us to invite you into our home.
My wife begged you.
That's your narrative, not mine.
Which is sort of exactly what I'm talking about if you think about it because this is Danny's story.
I've actually really gotten into fitness.
Aerobics.
I'm teaching it.
And it's, I mean, it's so addictive.
In a good way.
[CHUCKLES.]
But, it's You're You're teaching? Like, what, just [CHUCKLES.]
as, like, a hobby? Or like, just, you know, something to keep busy? Uh, no, a job.
Yeah, a business.
I I I met this talented Why didn't I know about this? [SHEILA.]
I don't know, maybe because you never shut the fuck up about yourself.
[BELINDA.]
You were always the best at ballet.
And then you quit, and none of us knew why.
We had our theories though.
Yeah, I can't I can't really remember.
[SHEILA.]
And it's none of your fucking business, cow.
Gosh.
I, uh, you know what? - Let me check on, um, Ma Maya.
- Oh, no, she's good.
- Our girl's with her, they're watching - Oh.
- a Disney video on the big screen.
- Oh, good.
Okay.
- Oh.
Oh, gosh.
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
- [GRUNTS.]
[SNORTS.]
[SHEILA SIGHS.]
You dumb bitch.
Stop! Stop right now! - Stop! - ["ATOMIC" PLAYS.]
Stop! Stop! Stop! You don't need this.
You don't need this anymore.
[SHEILA.]
You can fucking do this.
You know you can.
You can do this.
You can fucking do this.
You know you can.
You can do this.
[GASPING, GRUNTING.]
[GULPS, GASPS.]
Hi, Mom.