Puberty Blues (2012) s01e07 Episode Script

Episode 7

Your bum is my muse.
Like a peach.
Can I ask you something? Yes.
Of course.
Have I done something to offend you? I want us to go to Couples Encounters.
What? It's a marriage counselling service.
I know about Celia.
Something like this might have brought us back together.
Oi.
Present for you.
You, uhyou know what to do with it? Yeah.
SUE: Look at him - Darren Peters.
He's a complete doll.
GIRL: Hey, Darren, chuck a swervie.
(ALL COUGH AND LAUGH) Oi! I think he's dead.
SONG: # See the lady in the streetcar light # Colour a la Toulouse # Television and a red, red wine # So, won't you tell me # Won't you tell me the truth? # 10 years in the jailer's eye # Are you old enough? # And I'm thinkin' 'bout my baby # Are you old enough? # Lookin' at my life go by # Are you old enough? Ooh-ooh # Are you old enough? # Ooh # Are you old enough? # Are you old enough? # Are you old enough? # Are you old enough? # I can't believe that we're not even allowed on the beach.
What? Well, we're his friends, too.
We should at least be down there Shut up! He's dead, alright? So just shut up.
When will it happen? It'll start to drip and then go crazy, like a fountain.
Are you thinking about Darren Peters? No.
They say his neck was broken and one of his eyes was rolling around on the floor.
David.
Concentrate on your Splice.
(LAUGHS) Here it comes.
(PHONE RINGS) Double Splice.
Quick! Hello? SUE: Hey, Deb.
Everyone was bawling.
They set fire to his board.
Get this - we weren't even allowed on the beach.
Can you believe it? Anyway, wake's on.
Everyone's going, so come.
Can't.
I'm not allowed out.
But aren't your olds both at work? David's watching me.
'Babysitting'.
I prefer the term 'babysitting'.
Come on! Just come.
They'll get over it.
My mum does not get over things.
Sorry.
Alright.
See ya.
(HANGS UP) Hi! Oh! Hello! How are you? Good.
(SIGHS) Those girls, huh? Yes.
What did you do to yours? Oh, we gave her a really good talking-to.
And Well, I think she understands, you know? Be more responsible.
Oh, you didn't punish her? Oh, no.
I just think that makes them more resentful.
(LAUGHS) So what? Worrying us sick like that They could have been killed.
We don't wanna start a war.
So you justsurrender? No, they're good kids.
They Good kids die in car crashes, too, Pam, and get pregnant to idiots called Wayne.
Oh, well.
We just have a different way, that's all.
Yes.
Yeah, I suppose so.
Yes.
Yeah, I suppose so.
Yeah.
OK.
Bye.
Oh, we're having a barbie later on - next week - if you wanna come.
Oh, love to, but flat out, you know? Yeah.
('WINGS OF AN EAGLE' BY RUSSELL MORRIS PLAYS) He was a top bloke.
A rad surfer.
Yeah.
Top bloke.
Just tops, you know? We've lost a brother today.
He was one of the men you surfed with.
And his heart beat as ours did - pumped salt water and pussy - but burst with talent, youthjust joy.
He was our brother.
Just hurts.
We'll all be joining him soon enough.
Don't worry about that.
Darren.
ALL: Darren.
Mind if I hit up in here? Yeah.
Sure.
Thanks, mate.
Won't be a sec, eh.
Can I watch? Nah, mate.
What's it like? It's just You just stop giving a fuck, eh? Go on.
Off you go.
(SIGHS) (SIGHS) WOMAN: The new season's britches in moleskin It's on! It's on, and no-one's bloody here.
Oh, Roger Knight! Bloody genius! Fresh from the Amco Female Gene Company Oh, yes! Please don't handle the fruit.
So Judy's saying to you that she doesn't know what you're thinking, Martin, that you're not speaking your feelings.
I'm a naturally quiet person, I suppose.
At the moment you're an inscrutable mute who only opens his mouth to lie to me.
Judy, that's kind of an aggressive statement.
Yes, I'm sorry.
I I just want everyone to be happy.
And what would make you happy, right now, in your marriage, Martin? If I could make Judy happy.
Thentalk.
Tell me what you're thinking.
Have you done something? What? You're being silly.
Do you hate me? Oh, come on! I can be a bitch.
I know that.
Let's try something else.
This part of the session is called Tools for Two.
Pull a card, and then we just do what's on it.
10 of clubs.
Funny.
What's it really say? "Look into each other's eyes for a full minute.
" OK.
Great.
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) I'll time you.
I don't want to do that.
(OPENS DOOR) (OPENS DOOR) AD ON RADIO: AD ON RADIO: For the things you have to do .
.
and for the things you like to do Ah! Morning, petal.
'Petal'? (LAUGHS) You haven't called me that since I was six.
Well, you'll always be six, sort of.
To me, anyway.
Dad's got his big lunch today.
Saw him trying on shirts.
Yeah, I know.
He's nervous.
Are you? Well, just about you.
I just had this dream that you were in a car and it went over a cliff.
It was driven by Roberta Flack.
That's weird, Mum.
Mmm.
Family, how's this shirt? I gotta go.
Alright.
Now, no getting into cars with boys.
I'm serious.
Although if you follow that rule, we wouldn't have Lori.
Roger, I'm trying to make a point.
Don't worry, I won't get in the car with boys if things like Lori could happen.
Go get educated, child.
So, you don't like this shirt? (LAUGHS) Help me.
Help me! See ya! Mmm.
I'll drive you.
It's OK, I can catch the bus.
No, you'll come with me.
I can go with her, keep an eye out.
Seriously? Dad, can we go see that 'Star Wars' movie? People say it's amazing! Looks ridiculous.
Dad? Why can't she get the bus that goes to school? Debbie, David, wait in the car, please.
You could back me up.
I don't see why you have a problem with her getting the bus.
I don't want her wandering around.
She escaped.
OK, you have to use the words 'spring', 'thing' and 'mink coat'.
He wore a mink coat and sailed a boat.
Obvious.
When it was spring .
.
he showed me his thing and my fanny went ding-a-ling-a-ling.
Alright.
Not so obvious.
(LAUGHS) When I last saw Darren, he had this look.
Likelike he knew.
I just remember when I rooted him.
He said, "You're beautiful, Tracey.
"The most beautiful girl I ever rooted.
" I had this dream last night, and hehe was going, "Help me!" And all this blood was pouring from his eyes.
(MUTTERS) Dumb molls.
He couldn't have cared less if they were alive.
Oh, here we go.
Thank you.
This is the squid ink risotto.
You should try some, Pam.
Oh, I don't know if I could eat black food.
And if there's squid ink in it, isn't that like their equivalent to human snot? (LAUGHS) Oh, sorry.
Great place.
Yeah.
So, Rog, yes or no? Art director? I loved your peaches idea.
You're offering me a job? I am.
I'm old.
Well, me, too.
But we can build something together, mate.
I'd have to shut down my place.
It's a big leap.
I get the feeling you're not a coward.
He's not a coward, is he, Pam? No, but he loves his own business, and North Sydney's a long way away.
Roger, you really wanna be an old guy running down Cronulla Beach in your budgie smugglers, skin like dry leather, knowing that you never quite put yourself on the line? Is that a great place to be, mate? Well, life's pretty great.
Yeah, no disrespect.
I'm just trying to manipulate your husband into jumping here.
Roger, we're gonna do some great things.
We're gonna have some fun.
And, more importantly, we can make a lot of money.
Thanks, mate.
Mmm! Oh, God, this is delicious.
So? I already am that guy.
Running down the beach, frustrated, angry.
(SCOFFS) You have a great life, Rog.
I know.
I mean, this'd be hard.
You heard him.
North Sydney - that's a 2-hour commute.
You know what the hours would be.
Would you like espresso to finish? Well, you tell me what it is and I'll tell you whether I want it.
(CHUCKLES) Heads or tails? MAN: G'day.
ANNIE: Oh, hi.
How you going? Yeah, good.
You settling in OK? Yeah, everything's going really well.
Busy little beaver, aren't you? (LAUGHS) Marty, what's Don't touch her.
Don't grab her, pinch her or lay your hands on her, you pig.
Got it? It's just a bit of fun.
Jesus! No.
Respect her.
OK, OK.
I'm sorry! To her.
Sorry.
You (PANTS) (PANTS) Oh, OK.
Whoa! (GIGGLES) Your mum will be so pleased.
You're the good daughter, making afternoon tea.
She'll free you.
I hope so! Mmm.
So good! (SNIFFS) Are they burning? No.
Oh.
Yes! Oh, my God! Are you OK? (BOTH GIGGLE) Look at this mess.
(GROWLS) I hate you! Ow! Ow! Ow! What's going on? We're making you scones.
But we burnt them.
Probably time you went, Sue.
She burnt herself.
Martin will drive you home, Sue.
Some of them are good.
You should try them, Mrs Vickers.
Shall I get a plate or eat them off the floor? Mum, don't be A what, Debbie? MARTIN: Come on, Sue.
(MOUTHS SILENTLY) I tried to stop it, Mum.
I tried.
Traitor! (ENGINE REVS, HORN TOOTS) Hi, sweetheart! Hi! Hey, mate.
Jump in.
We'll take you the last bit.
Nah, I'm fine.
We went a little crazy.
We had the most lovely lunch at Tre Scalini.
And then The best bit is in the boot.
Yeah? Sure you don't want a lift? Nah.
How about a race? Oh, he's not 12 anymore! Ferris! Alright.
Go! (YVONNE LAUGHS) (TYRES SQUEAL) Oh! Gary! Gary.
Mmm.
Gary, check it out.
Best colour TV money can buy.
Oh, unreal! Hey, come on.
Pour yourself a glass of red.
Thanks.
So, what do you think? (LAUGHS) Now, that Now, that looks great! (SINGS HIGH NOTE) Yeah, you look great, Mum.
(SLAPS BUM) Oh! (LAUGHS) Your dad was so funny today, Gary.
I nearly broke in half laughing.
Oh, well, Ferris in form.
She actually suntans, Don.
Do you believe that? Jesus.
Who knew Bert Newton's head was so orange? (CAR DOOR CLOSES IN DISTANCE) Gary? 'Fosphic' is not a word.
Yes, it is, you dummy.
You just haven't learnt it yet.
Did someone take $20 out of my purse? Don't wanna be a dobber, but starts with 'D' and rhymes with 'avid'.
No! I didn't.
I He was by his bookshelf after he took it.
No, Mum, I swear I didn't.
(CHUCKLES) David.
Hand out.
Ow! Ah! (SIGHS) See, David? We can do that to each other the rest of our time in this nightmare or we can be friends and help each other out.
You have to tell him about this, Rog.
Look at that pervert manhandling my daughter.
Rog! I know, I just Look, every time I go to, I feel sick.
They're my friends.
Then don't do it.
We'll stay.
Do what we do and we'll live happily ever after.
(LAUGHS) What do you say, huh? (PHONE RINGS) Doggy style? Straccy reckons it's pretty great.
Alright.
(SLIDING DOOR OPENS) Sue, Debbie's on the phone.
Back in a sec.
Danny? G'day.
You are being a gentleman, right? A gentleman? A gentleman.
(SNICKERS) Is that funny? A bit.
(SNICKERS) You ever seen a coconut split open? Apparently it's a lot like a human head.
I'll smash ya.
Yeah.
Hey.
You got it? DEBBIE: (MOANS) I'm a prisoner.
My whole life is passing me by and I haven't even seen Gary.
(GROANS) She's such a bitch! She's so unhappy she has to make everyone else unhappy.
(MUTTERS) You might wanna talk quieter.
Bugger.
SUE: I'll come round? She'll just throw you out again.
Ask her to come and stay if you want.
Mum says you can come stay the night.
I won't be allowed.
They're going out but leaving me here with the little freak.
I'll ask.
Mum Can I go to Sue's for the night? We'll be inside the whole time.
Pam will be there.
I promise not even to have fun.
Please, please, please? Pam said it's fine.
It sounds OK to No.
You're gonna be staying here with David.
Mum! Away.
(SIGHS) I can't come because my mum is a cow.
I'm so sick of this.
(GROANS) What did you just call me? I'm sorry, Mum, but don't you see the state that I'm in? I know I did the wrong thing.
I know, but I promised I wouldn't do it again.
I can't trust you, and I can't tell you how upsetting that is to me.
I made a mistake! I'm a kid! There are some mistakes in life that you can't come back from.
And you don't seem able to judge that.
I saw Darren with his neck broken.
I understand.
I knew it! Were his eyes rolling around David, shut up! You can hate me, but I have to do what I think is right for you.
I DO hate you.
And I'll hate you forever.
Then I guess I'm doing my job.
(SIGHS) (SLAMS DOOR) Hello? You're not talking? (WHIMPERS) Can't even trick you into it by asking you questions? (SOBS) No! Got you! (DEBBIE SIGHS) Please go.
Tell me what you saw.
The boy who died.
(SNIFFLES) His neck was broken and his eyes were open.
And he was just .
.
staring .
.
like he was surprised.
Come here.
(SOBS) You can't stop me from growing up.
(WHISPERS) I can try.
(WHISPERS) I can try.
(ORGAN PLAYS) (KNOCK AT DOOR) We're going out, and you're not gonna dob.
Just give me a second.
What are you What are you doing? You ready? Can I take a Polaroid? No! 10 seconds.
10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
So don't dob.
Nuh, I won't.
I can't believe that I flashed your brother! Neither can I, especially since I've already done him a deal to let me escape.
No! Yes! (GASPS) The little shit! (BOTH GROAN) Why are we running? I don't know.
I'm free! Hey.
Danny's got his dad's car.
What time are your parents getting home? Not till 8:00.
Yes! Let's do it.
Let's do it! Let's do it! (BOTH GIGGLE) CHERYL: Ugh, I thought they were coming in.
It's been ages.
Swell's better, I guess.
The food's getting cold.
I'm starving.
What are you doing? Well, they're not coming in.
I'm gonna eat it while it's hot.
They're coming in.
Oh, shit! Does anyone have an extra pie? Nuh.
Sorry.
Saw you in that foamer.
It was great.
Yeah, wasn't it? Oi, where's me pie? I'll go get you one.
Where is it? She ate it.
(SIGHS) You dumb moll! Sorry.
I'll run.
10 minutes.
You're dropped.
Well, go.
Get it! (LAUGHTER) What a stupid moll.
Look at her run.
(SHOUTS) And hurry up! I'm fucking hungry! Can't believe that I actually feel sorry for Vicki.
Yeah, I know.
What a deadshit Matty is.
I know.
He kicked her.
Well, she did eat his pie, mate.
(LAUGHS) Do you think that they'd kick us if we ate their pies? No way.
What if we ate their Polly Waffles, too? And snotted in their chocolate Mooves? Maybe then.
(BOTH LAUGH) Eww! DANNY: What's so funny? We should go to Kurnell.
I've missed you.
Me, too.
Hence all the visits.
Thought you were gonna come and sit under my window.
Sorry.
I've been a bitbusy.
What's wrong? Nothing.
I just I don't really get it sometimes.
Everyone ends up like our parents, you know? See this photo of Dad with his toothpick board and smiling, Mum's dancing with him.
I don't recognise them as the same people.
But it happens to everyone.
Except Darren Peters, I guess.
We're gonna be different, Gary.
We're gonna be amazing.
Really? (SHOUTS) Amazing! (YELLS) Amazing! (LAUGHS) Amazing! (SIGHS) (ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO) Was that it? (CLEARS THROAT) What? You just stick it in, wave it around a few minutes, don't even look at me, and it's over? Shut up.
Do you think it's ever fun for me? Don't give me any of that femmo shit.
It's just rooting.
It's just rooting.
Sue Piss off, Danny.
Sue! Don't be a bitch.
(DEBBIE AND GARY LAUGH) What's going on? Nothing.
Sue? (CAR ENGINE STARTS) GARY: Oh, no way! SUE: Arsehole! (KNOCK AT DOOR) Is Debbie in? No.
Hi, Cheryl.
Hey, David.
Home alone, huh? What's your dad drink? Um, mostly brandy and dry.
(LAUGHS) Brandy makes you randy.
VICKI: Shit, it's huge.
VICKI: Shit, it's huge.
My folks are gonna be home in an hour.
I'm dead.
(LAUGHS) Wait here.
What are you doing? Shh.
So? What did you guys fight about? I don't know.
I'm just I'm so sick of being rooted and grunted at every time I ask a question and just being so incredibly bored.
(HORSE SNICKERS) (LAUGHS) It's not funny.
Jump on, partners! Gary! It's ait's a horse! It's good to see you again.
You, too, sprog.
You want some? It's heaps easier to do shots with vodka than So, do you have a girlfriend, young David? Do you want one of these two? Do you want some advice on women? Yes.
I do.
Come here.
(GIRLS LAUGH) Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen.
Butwhy would you be mean if you like them? Trust me, it works.
(COUGHS) (KEY TURNS IN DOOR) (MUTTERS) Oh, shit.
Heya.
Here's the party.
Where the fuck have you been? You have to go.
Oh, relax.
Seriously.
Her parents will be home soon.
She's already stuck in her room all the time.
Can we take some drinks? Yep, sure, just You know.
Um, D-Deb Mum and Dad! MARTIN: Why is there a horse on our lawn? Shit.
Come on! (GIRLS LAUGH) At least wait till I stop.
CHERYL: Hey, Mrs Vickers! Sue! You wait right there.
What is going on? Hurry up! Get in.
JUDY: Come inside.
(VICKI LAUGHS) Cheers, fuckers! I know you don't mind Sue roaming the streets with drunk men on horseback, but she needs to leave Debbie out of her misadventures.
Sue, what happened? Nothing.
Smell her.
What? Smell her.
Nick off! Sue! Charming.
Alcohol and cigarettes and probably marijuana, as well.
She is not to contact Debbie anymore.
OK, Judy, I can understand you're upset, but we can talk calmly about this.
You talk calmly about it.
I don't do that.
I do something about it.
Sue is off the rails and she is not taking Debbie with her.
(FERRIS GROANS) (GRUNTS) (SIGHS) (WHISPERS) That was lovely.
I'm just getting some water.
(SIGHS) MAN ON TV: 2,300.
.
.
unmanned 'Voyager' spacecraft carry a record (FERRIS SIGHS) .
.
just in case they encounter a cosmic neighbour along the way.
(GRUNTS) I love this TV.
Me, too.
Night, mate.
Yeah.
Night, Dad.
You gotta be fearless, OK? OK, Dad.
OK, Dad.
Knock, knock.
Who's there? Interrupting Cow.
Interrupting (MOOS) DEBBIE: I need $3 for Miss Deirdre.
I'm sick of you rolling your eyes at me.
What? At my joke.
Well, it was a dumb joke.
Yeah, I know that.
You used to like it, find it endearing that I told dumb jokes.
Well, you know what I want? I want you to smile at me when I come home.
Just look at me, even, would be nice.
I want you to not act like your life is some interminable trial that you'll only be released from by death.
I want you to remember you chose me.
You chose me.
You better go.
See if your dad's still taking you.
Go on.
(INSTRUMENTAL VERSION OF 'LOVIN' YOU' PLAYS) You let us down last night.
You know that, right? I know.
You're gated for a month.
Dad! One month.
I'll be out the front at 3:00 on the dot.
I have to leave.
You can't live with them anymore, Deb.
They're crushing your soul.
I know! My mum is such a cow now.
(SIGHS) So if I catch a train from Central to Byron, Gary can surf professionally and we'll travel the world.
And I'll come with Danny on the holidays! Yes, and we'll all live together and busk to make money.
You can sing some of our songs when you busk.
With you.
When you come.
You will come? Yeah! Kenoath! Let's go find Gary.
(SIGHS) (DOOR OPENS) It's him! Gary! Gary! Gary! Can't believe he's still out there.
They're such dickheads, these guys.
Gary! Can't he hear me? Deb, we gotta go.
Yeah, I know.
Supertext Captions by Red Bee Media Australia Supertext Captions by Red Bee Media Australia
Previous EpisodeNext Episode