Reaper s01e07 Episode Script

Damn.
We look good.
- I'm thinkin' about touchin' myself.
- Not in my car, please.
That's weird.
Change the channel.
Este sale a Maria de Jose, Radar Love.
Man What? I the devil's trying to talk to you, tellin' you it's time to go to work.
Nah.
Uh-uh.
No, not tonight.
Tonight is special.
We are gettin' Sam laid tonight.
- Sock, I don't-- - Sam, I don't wanna hear a word from you, all right? One word about Andi, and you are catchin' the headbuttin' of your life.
You and Andi are tryin' to be friends, so that means you are officially back in business with all other ladies starting right now.
We are planting your flag at Iwo Jima tonight, my friend.
It's so hard to meet women.
Well, you 2 crybaby bitches may have decided to bail on tonight, but I am not giving up, all right? Here we go.
Just gotta jump-start the action a little, know what I mean? Watch and learn, boys.
Oh, no.
Oh, god.
Oh.
Hello.
At least he has one-- Look at this.
Yeah, good thing I sat down, right? You guys are multiplying.
Bert Wysocki.
Booties on the floor.
Booties on the floor.
Oh, I hurt my knee, but that's ok.
Smells like beer.
You ever notice how beer smells like beer? Best bachelorette party ever! Having such a blast, hey, Nicole? We are sending you out in style! I think we'll be sending Nicole out in a body bag.
They are laughing at anything.
We are so in.
I've had, like, I was gonna say it tasted like a cosmo.
I'm Taylor.
Sam.
- Come on.
- Shots.
Shots.
More drinks for you.
- This is my number.
- Ok.
- Better call me.
- Yeah.
Yeah, ok.
Yeah.
You want me to-- right.
Ok.
- Give me yours, too.
- There you go.
- Aw, don't worry, ma'am.
- Yes.
Guys, it is not a bachelorette party without a stripper.
Oh, my god.
Sock, mm-hmm, you wanna be our stripper? - Uh, no.
No.
No.
- Come on! Come on.
You're the funny dancing guy.
- Dance! - You know, I am not your monkey! I'm not your monkey, ok? Jeez.
- Ben, Benny, wanna be our stripper? - Not for free.
I could lose my union card.
But, uh, my buddy Sam here's a hell of a dancer.
No.
No! I--I can't-- - Yeah.
- Yes.
Sam! Sam! Sam! I can't.
I--I, uh-- I have a trick knee.
Really.
It doesn't It's just so hard to meet women.
Season 1, Episode 7 Love, Bullets and Blacktop Well, let's see what the Prince of Darkness has for us this time.
So, uh, what are you gonna do about that Taylor chick, Sammy? She was hot.
Ah, she's not really my type.
- What's with the vessel? - Your type? Is she a girl? Ding.
What else do you need to know? Come on.
We just--we don't have anything in common.
Who cares? You're not gonna marry the girl, Sam.
You gotta get all this relationship garbage out of your head, I'm telling you.
All right.
Sock, shut up.
Vessel? Soundtrack to a movie called Love, Bullets & Blacktop.
Never heard of it.
Let me guess.
One of the songs is Radar Love.
Track number one.
All right, so I keep hearing that song, and the vessel is an obsolete tape.
This gives me nothing.
Well, maybe the answer's in the tunes.
You think that still plays? What's that? Ah, cool.
An 8-track.
- Where'd you get this? - I found it.
Yeah, my dad had a million of these.
Any good songs on here? Ah, just old seventies stuff.
Right.
And you thought that you could actually play it in one of the systems we sell? Right.
Yeah, I realized Actually, you know what? I think my mom might have my dad's old player.
Why don't you just come over and use it? Yeah.
That-- that would be great.
- Ok.
- Yeah.
Hold--Hello.
Sam? - Yes.
Hey.
- Know who this is? I d--I do, yeah.
-It's--it's Taylor.
- Taylor? - Had fun last night.
- It was nice.
- Who's Taylor? - So call me.
Ok.
Yeah, I-- I'll give you a call.
- Still have my number? - Mm-hmm.
Great.
By the way, are your lips still lonely? Uh, my lips are currently not lonely, ok? I--I gotta go.
All right.
Bye.
That was my dentist.
Oh, Dr.
Taylor? Sam, come on.
I mean, I heard her voice.
Did you meet a girl? We were talking about something else.
You want--you wanted a coffee, right? You want-- Let me get you a coffee.
Ok.
Ok.
2 sugars.
Dr.
Taylor? Seriously? You're such an idiot.
I mean, come on.
What the hell is goin' on? Train wreck.
- So, Taylor.
Spill.
- Oh, my god.
Yeah, it's awful, isn't it? This is what happens when you play chicken with a train.
The train's never gonna flinch.
- I don't understand.
- Well, come on over here.
See this? That used to be a mint-condition '73 GTO.
Stolen earlier tonight.
What a waste.
What about the driver? Oh, driver and the passenger, they just walked away unscathed.
That's been happening a lot recently.
- They're both souls? - That's right.
Kit and Holly.
I really think you have your work cut out for you this time, but I have every confidence that you'll seal the deal.
Which reminds me Taylor.
I'm not talking about that with you.
I was able to obtain some information on one of her many, many, many erogenous zones.
Just stroke her earlobe, and she'll do anything.
Anything.
There is something really wrong with you.
What? Encouraging a young man to succumb to his primal and perfectly tural instincts? Sharing the fact that Taylor's in her experimental phase? - Is that bad? - Ok, ok, stop.
Stop.
All right, stop.
Just don't make her wait too long.
She'll be out of your life Like a forgotten song.
Radar Love.
What is the deal with this song? Right behind you, sir.
You got it? Any luck on finding a copy of the movie - that goes with that soundtrack? - Wasn't easy.
That thing-- That thing's been out of print for years, but I--I found a used one online, so it'll be here tomorrow.
Good.
Good.
Hope it gives us some sort of clue.
Yeah.
Love, Bullets & Blacktop.
It's a fine title.
Boobs, Bullets & Blacktop would be better.
You know, the whole repeatin' the Bs thing, that's classy.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Where's the guy? I don't know.
I wasn't watching.
Put it down.
Put it down.
Ok, I'm sorry.
He'll find it.
Here! Here! Here! I'm here at the scene of a gruesome crash which is the result of what many witnesses are calling a terrifying chain of events.
It all started as a routine traffic stop when the car behind me refused to pull over, leading police on a 10-mile chase at speeds of 90 miles per hour.
The stolen vehicle finally crashed here, killing 2 pedestrians.
The driver and passenger of the wrecked vehicle remain at large.
Authorities are not yet releasing the names of the victims.
I'm told that one of the victims was pronounced dead at the scene and the other - Check this out.
- What? Remind you of anything? If you have any information related to the crash - Both blue muscle cars.
- What does that mean? Don't know.
Do we know any experts on old cars? Well, there's always Russ.
Welcome to the Work Bench.
Welcome to the Work Bench.
Welcome to the Work Bench.
Aw, do we have to talk to Russ? - Guy gives me the skeevs.
- Yes.
Yes, we do.
But remember, we're all business.
You show any signs of friendship to Russ, and it's like feeding a raccoon.
- We'll never get rid of him.
- Ah, you hear that, Ben? - Oh, wh-- - No, listen to me.
None of this, you name's Ben.
I like everybody.
Let's be blood brothers, ok? I do not want to hang out with this guy.
He's extra-strength douche.
Hey, Russell, nice to see ya.
There is some fine-ass tail in the Bench today.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There-- Yeah, there is.
Um, Russ, we have a question for you.
Shoot.
- Do you know what kind of car that is? - '71 malibu.
Solid muscle car.
- Ladies.
- Russ.
Russ! Do you--do you know anything else about this type of car? I know everything else about that type of ride.
You know, I've been keeping my eye on you three, can tell you like to party Have fun.
Yeah, fun's ok.
- Wanna see somethin' cool? - Sure.
This here is my girl Mandy.
See, she's kinda like the one on your 8-track there, only a little more excellent.
Um, so, let's say you were in the market for a car like this.
Is there a special dealership you might go to or Oh, you thinkin' of buyin', Sam? You'd look pretty hot behind the wheel of a '69 Daytona.
Ok, ok, Russ.
I know this little, uh, car club.
Bunch of collectors get together down at a lot in Chinatown, show off their rides.
Maybe you could find a seller there.
You know--heh.
Heh.
What we could do, we could score some vodka, you know, go down there, the four of us, make an afternoon of it.
Yeah.
Yeah, that sounds like something someone might do.
Heh.
But I am pulling a double shift this afternoon.
Well, what can I say? The ladies don't pay for themselves, you know what I'm sayin'? Well, let me give you the address anyway.
It's down on Keifer.
And listen The four of us, we gotta hang.
Tomorrow, my place.
We start with poker And let it rip.
And that's great, 'cause I love poker.
We can't make it.
Oh.
Well Rain check then.
Well, work calls.
See you later, Russ.
All right, we gotta go to this car club.
I'm sorry I punched you in the balls, man.
Oh, my god.
- This is just sad.
- What?! Look, I promise you both right now, no matter how old I get, I'll never make you hang out in a vacant lot and drool over my car.
Yeah, well, you need to owe one first.
You know what? I don't even want one now.
So how do we find 'em? Let's see if we can get their attention.
Ok.
- Here we go.
- Ok.
Radar Love, baby.
How you doin'? Sam.
Sam, how are you doin' this? Song has power, I guess.
Hey, man, I hate that song.
You got free bird? Oh.
S-Sam, they're leavin'.
They're leaving! Uh, Ben, get the car! Get the-- They're headed for the parking garage.
- Wait, wait, wait.
- Come on! We can trap 'em on the roof! Oh, god.
Ok.
There! There! Oh, holy-- Come on.
Come on.
Where are you guys? Have a nice day.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Does Sam Oliver work here? Uh, yeah, he does, but he has not come in for his shift yet.
Oh.
Ok.
Uh Do me a favor.
Tell him Taylor stopped by.
- You're Taylor? - Yep.
Why? Did he mention me? Um.
Yeah, actually.
He did.
- So, Sam, what's he like? - Um, he's great.
I mean, we've just-- we've been friends for a very long time.
- He is single, right? - Huh? Oh, uh, yeah.
'Cause you don't know.
Guys you meet in bars, they'll say anything to get in your pants.
Yeah.
Well, actually Sam's not like that at all.
Hmm.
Too bad.
Anyways, tell him to call me, ok? Thanks, "Andi.
" Where are you goin'? I got a plan.
Don't worry.
All right, check this out.
Look.
- You're selling Russ' car? - Exactly.
See, the souls are always crashing cars just like this one.
Since we scared 'em away from the car club, - guess who needs a new one.
- Precisely.
So we set the trap.
We post the car on all the muscle car sites.
Hopefully the souls see it, and they come knockin'.
And then we send their little asses right back to Hades.
All right, I like it.
I like it.
The only thing is the other cars they wrecked were blue.
Sure they're gonna go after an orange car? Oh, my god.
You know, we didn't think about that.
- Bam.
- Nice.
Hope this works.
So your dentist stopped by.
Dr.
Taylor.
Dr.
Tay--oh, Taylor was here? What, at the Bench? Was she shopping? Oh, she was in the market for somethin'.
Come on.
Really? I only said, like, Well, yeah, apparently you made them count.
Wait.
Did she say what she wanted? Yeah.
She said you should call her.
Really? Yeah.
You gonna call her? I don't know.
Maybe.
I--she's a little different.
What do you think? I think she's really attractive.
You should call her.
I'll think about it.
Maybe I should call her.
A church? Isn't this a little too close for comfort? Nah.
Me and the big guy have an understanding.
I stay out of his house.
He lets me play with his toys.
All right, well, if you're here to harass me about the souls, I'm all over it.
I'll send a trap and have 'em both.
No, no harassing.
I have faith in you.
I have to admit, though, I admire Kit and Holly.
The world's a whole lot more fun with them in it.
It's the purity of their spirit that I admire and respect.
They live in the moment.
The thrill of being caught or killed, that's their aphrodisiac.
- 2 psychos in love.
- Love? There's no such thing.
I'm talking about real passion, lust.
You don't think love is real? The french invented love so they could put a civilized face on a primal urge.
Dress it up with candy and hearts and cubic zirconia, and in the end it all comes down to endorphins and genitalia.
So if you don't believe in love, why are you showing me a wedding? The breathless bridegroom there banged the maid of honor last night.
- I give the marriage 6 months.
- Why are you telling me this? Because I care.
I want you to be happy.
Give in to your urges once in a while.
What's the worst thing that could happen? A night of pleasure? I'd take that over unrequited longing anytime.
Ah, whatever.
Don't forget.
Earlobe.
- Heh heh.
Sam? - Taylor! Wow.
Uh You look amazing.
What are you doing here? Oh.
Uh, right.
I was--I was in the neighborhood.
You work, like, 2 miles away.
Right.
I--yeah, I was--I had a delivery.
Look, you know, you didn't call, so I just figured you weren't into me, and that's fine.
But if you're here to jerk me around, I'm not really interested.
No, no, I--I promise that's-- - that's not why I'm here.
- Then why are you? I don't really know.
Ok.
You're strange.
Yes.
Yes, I am.
Uh, well, I should catch up with-- Right.
Yes.
Taylor You wanna maybe get a drink? Tomorrow night, same place.
Yeah.
Cool.
All right.
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, Kit and Holly called.
- They're on their way.
- Come on.
All right, the code word is "jambalaya.
" I don't like that word.
I don't care if you like it, Ben.
Decision has been made, ok? You stall 'em.
I say "jambalaya.
" Sam hops out from behind the van and sucks them into the 8-track, and that's it.
This plan is starting to feel stupid.
Learn to love it.
They're here.
All right, let's do it.
What's happening? They're just starin' at us.
Super creepy.
Hang tight, baby.
Only the dude is getting out.
- Well, you gotta get 'em both over here.
- I know.
What's up, man? How you doin'? - Howdy.
- Like I advertised, What I neglected to add on the website-- Yeah.
In the picture, it was blue.
Yeah, we had it repainted.
Yeah, well, we don't want it orange.
Well, it's a good thing we're at the Work Bench, 'cause we got all types of paint, whatever you want.
Uh, cyan, azure-- You name it, we got it.
That--that's a beautiful color for this car.
- This car, yeah.
- Let me see the inside.
The inside.
Yes.
You are a man of discriminating taste.
I can tell by your 4 buttons undone on your shirt.
So it's got, uh, carpet both sides, which is good.
A steering wheel, dials, speedometer and o-odometer.
- Uh, neoprene seats, I believe.
- Give me the keys.
Hey, why don't you go get your lady? Get her to come take a closer look.
See if she likes it, all right? That's a good I--Let me go get her, and-- Why don't you give me the keys? I want to get inside the car.
Now.
I don't have--Ben, do you have the keys? - Uh, wh-what about price first? - Price, yes.
You know what? Get your gal.
We will talk dollars and cents.
- Why are you so interested in my woman? - J-jambalaya? - Jambalaya! - J-jambalaya! - It's a trap! - Jambalaya! - Come on! - Sam, go! Get him! Go! It's a trap! Go! Get him, Sam! Get him! Get him! - Kit! - See you at midnight! Go get her! Get her! Come on! Get her! Get her! She's gettin' away.
Sam, Sam, Sam, get her! Get her! Oh, that was close.
Oh, weird.
It feels hot.
Can souls break out of vessels, do you think? I don't know.
Never happened before.
Kit said he was gonna try to meet Holly at midnight.
You don't think she's gonna come after us, do you? God, I hope not.
She scares the hell out of me.
Well, all women scare the hell out of you.
Hence your lack of action with that Taylor chick, hmm? Hey, I made a date with Taylor, thank you very much.
- Oh, really? - Mm-hmm.
You know, the devil can see her fantasies.
Makes her sound like some kind of sex maniac.
Insider trading tips from the Dark Lord.
- I so want your life.
- Hey, movie arrived.
Love, Bullets & Blacktop.
Great.
Question is will this help us find Holly? The other question is does this movie have any nudity in it.
Is that beta? Where the hell are we gonna find betamax? Welcome to the wall of sound.
- Hey.
- Hey, hey.
Oh, wow.
This stuff, uh, takes up a lot of space in your living room, huh? It certainly does! Pro logic quad amp, sweet ribbon tweeter, and a dual-18 subwoofer that'll blow a chick's panties - clean off.
- Whuhh.
You ever seen anything like it? Definitely a first.
Hey, Russ, you have a machine that might play beta? Beta? Absolutely.
Here you go.
You know, I am so pumped that you guy-- Sit down.
Sit down.
You guys decided to come and party with the Russ man.
We are gonna get a little crazy up here tonight.
- Look out.
- Space, space.
- Aw, thanks.
Yeah.
- Oh! That's my shoulder.
All right.
- Wait a minute.
- That's real impressive.
What kind of a host do I think I am? We can't just watch the movie.
We need to get high first! Who wants to rip some peyote? Uh.
Russ, you know, tonight's not a good peyote night.
Oh, no, no, no.
No.
Peyote, man, it makes a great platform, and then we customize with a well-chosen assortment of party enhancers.
We've got angel tears, horse tranks, jelly babies, muskies, happy flakes.
- Happy flakes? - Poppers? You know, Russ, I was gonna pass.
Yeah, you know, I took a--I took horse trank on the way over here, so I'm, uh, good.
Guys, you said that you came over to party, right? - Of course.
- Well, ok, then.
Come on.
I mean, I don't wanna-- I don't wanna be watching this movie until we're, like, rolling 4 deep, ok? Did Holly follow us? You Where's Kit? I don't-- I don't know where he is.
I-- Where is the 8-track?! Give it to me now! It's right here.
That bitch is crazy.
Oh.
Russ.
Russ.
Russ, are you all right? - Are you--are - Flush the drugs.
- So what's the word on Russ? - Oh, he's fine.
He's all zonked out on heavy meds in the hospital, gettin' sponge baths.
It's kind of his dream scenario, you know? Good.
He won't miss this.
Cover me on the floor so I can hook this thing up and we can watch the movie.
This way.
Oh, this is the soundtrack you were listening to the other day.
What's with your obsession? I-- Well, you shouldn't have to watch this out here with all these miserable customers.
Uh, you know, not you, sir.
Follow me.
- Just hold this.
- Where are you taking me? Oh, wow.
You made all this? Yep.
My Ted-free zone.
Well, until he finds it and I have to build a new one.
- This is great.
- I know.
Here.
Oh.
Thanks.
- Beverage? - Movie's started.
Yeah, hit me.
- I got it covered.
- I guess so.
Open the register.
Don't make me do something we'll both regret.
My life is full of regrets.
Your mama know what you're up to? Your mama know what you're up to? - Yeah, this is genius.
- Yeah.
Will you give me what I want? I just might.
Did you see that? That--that's not even the same car.
I know.
I was just gonna say the same thing.
Ok, you'd think they'd get the color of the car right.
I'm gonna lose 'em.
- You watch me.
- Hang on.
- Catch.
- No.
- Upp.
You missed.
Catch.
- Stop it right now.
Serious.
Get serious.
- What? - Whoops.
Help.
I'm scared, Kit.
Every cop in the county's after us.
What if we get separated? We meet back here, baby.
This'll always be our place.
Ok.
Midnight.
Kit said it right before we captured him.
Yep.
"Meet me at midnight.
" There's her car.
- You scared? - Does it show? You're kinda hurtin' my arm.
- Oh.
Yeah.
Sorry.
- Got some nails on you, man.
Sock, shut up.
Shh.
- What? - Got that-- Sam, do you see her? You see anything? No, I don't see anything.
How do I set Kit free?! Tell me! Hey, goldilocks! Suck on that, sugar lips! Sam, where's the vessel? - Sam, vessel.
- Oh, damn.
I lost it.
I-- Sock.
What do you think she's gonna do when she finds that she's got the wrong 8-track? Kill us.
Yeah, that sounds about right.
How does this work?! How do I get him out of here? You're gonna tell me how to get Kit back.
Ah! O-ok.
O-- Easy, easy, easy.
I think you see where this is going.
You're gonna tell me how to free my baby or-- Ok, look, if you kill us, you'll never get him out.
Tell me how to set Kit free, or I will torch this whole place, and there will only one be of us getting out of here alive.
Which one of us? Which--What? I didn't--- I like you.
You're cool.
I like your shoes.
Listen, Holly, y-you don't have to do this, ok? Let's talk, all right? We can't let Kit out, but I swear, you let us free, and we'll let you go.
We'll let you go.
You're gonna let me go? Kit has to go back to hell, but you, you can start over.
All right, you can find a new guy.
Oh, is that right? Find a new guy? You think there's someone like Kit out there, all fire and passion and danger? Like you? Are you a tough guy? Do you like to get crazy? Do you like to play with danger? - I dabble.
- Good.
Let's see how tough you are.
Look, no.
L-let's not.
Let's--let's not see how tough I-- I--I don't wanna see.
I--I been drivin' all night my hand's wet on the wheel Th-there's a voi-- voice in my head that drives my heel Said it's my baby callin', and she needs me here And it's a-half past 4:00, and I'm shiftin' gears We got a thing that we call Radar Love We got a light That we shine Sam! Sam! - Ohh! Sam.
- Sam! We got a thing that we call Radar Love We got a light that shines Radar Love Um, there's Taylor.
You guys can disappear.
Cool.
All right.
Go, mighty warlord.
Collect your spoils.
Let's not call her spoils to her face.
Good luck, Sam.
So, is that your thing, kissing random guys in bars? - Screw you.
- Well No.
I, uh thought you were cute.
Didn't look like the kind of guy to make the first move.
Excuse me? I make moves.
Come on, Sam Oliver.
You have to think about everything.
Don't you ever want to just do something totally spontaneous? Something you knew you shouldn't? What if somebody opens the door? Who cares, right? You like it dangerous? Cool.
Oh, Sam.
That totally drives me crazy.
How did you know? Uh, look, uh This--this, uh-- This doesn't feel right.
Wait.
What? Sam, you pulled me into the closet.
Yeah.
No, I know.
I did.
I j--uh This just--this isn't me.
Can we-- Can we just--can we slow it down a little? Sure.
You really are strange.
Yeah, yeah, I-- I couldn't agree more.
I'm sorry, Sammy.
I never should have pushed that whole Taylor thing on you.
I had no idea you were a homosexual.
"We should just slow it down a little"? You hear that? That's the sound of every man in the world laughing at you.
So you came all the way here just to bust on me? Oh, quite the contrary.
I feel bad.
I really do.
I just wanted you to get the girl for once in your miserable life.
Yeah, I really appreciate your concern, but maybe I'm just not sure that that's the girl I want.
Right, right, right.
You're holding out for true love.
I told you, Sam, there is no such thing.
I couldn't figure out why you kept throwing Taylor in my path.
It's not because you really care about me.
- Hey! Untrue.
- It's because you're tempting me again.
You just want me to be more like you, but I'm not.
I don't believe there's no such thing as love.
And you know what? I don't believe that you believe that.
Wow.
You know, celibacy really makes you insightful.
Come on.
You've been around since the dawn of time.
Are you telling me you've never been in love? Well, personally, I've always found lust to be quite satisfying.
Yeah.
You would.