Rita Rocks (2008) s01e07 Episode Script

Morning.
What's for breakfast? Lunch.
It's 1:00.
No wonder I'm so tired.
I just slept 13 hours.
So did I, if you add it up over the last five days.
Mail call.
The Gap.
Toys "R" Us.
And the bills from the Gap and Toys "R" Us.
Well, none of them are pink, so I can put it off for another month.
Oh.
Hallie, look.
Your scores from the PSATs came in.
Look, honey, I want you to know, no matter what your scores are, your father and I know you tried your hardest, and that's all that matters to us.
Oh, I did well.
Oh, my God, you did well.
Jay, come in here.
Oh, good news.
The Parkers down the street are getting audited.
Why is that good news? 'Cause I can't stand them.
Me, neither.
They give out raisins on Halloween.
Yeah, they gave me a bookmark for Christmas.
This is for us, little one.
Hey, what's going on? Oh, Hallie's scores came in.
Oh Hal, look, I want you to know, no matter what your scores are, your mother and I Oh, my God, you did well.
Congratulations, Hallie.
As soon as you go to college, your room it's mine.
Wow, honey, with those scores, you can get into all kinds of colleges we can't afford.
Well, now that I've performed above your expectations, how about a little reward? I'm thinking 80 bucks.
I'm thinking a turkey sandwich.
Hal, I just gave you money yesterday.
Well, that's gone.
I bought a top.
Now I need to borrow some more for the bottoms.
Okay, when you use the word "borrow," it implies that somehow the money we give you comes back to us, and, uh, since that's never happened, what you do it's more like-- what's the word?-- robbing.
So, how am I supposed to buy stuff? You want to buy stuff, you got to earn stuff.
That's right, honey.
You got to get a part-time job.
You could be the person behind the counter you give our money to.
I don't know, a job just seems like a lot of work.
Maybe you could find a job sleeping.
You're really good at that.
Trust me, Hal, it feels great to buy stuff with your own money.
That's right.
Every time your father and I walk into this house, we are proud that five percent of it is all ours.
Three percent.
Three percent-- it's free and clear.
RITA ROCKS PRODUCTIONS, LLC I'm getting tired of waiting and fooling around I'll find somebody who won't make me feel like a clown This can't go on Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, guys, that was great.
You killed that bridge, and you were totally on beat, and your phone didn't go off, so we didn't have to stop to listen to the theme to Darth Vader.
Look, when my wife calls, I need to know it's her.
You guys, we so sound good.
I think we might be ready to play a bigger venue.
What, like a three-car garage? No.
Every Tuesday, there's this open mic at this club where me and all my people hang out.
Oh, I always wanted to play in a stomping blues bar or one of those smoky jazz clubs.
Yeah.
Not black people.
Postal people.
Yeah, it would be great to play in front of some real people.
I mean, the only thing we've had that remotely resembles applause is when I put sneakers in the dryer.
Hey, if we do this gig, maybe I should grow myself a little soul patch.
I could do it in an hour.
I come from very hairy stock.
Oh, oh, and I can make up some flyers and send out an Evite Oh, my God.
You're right.
It's already growing in.
Hey, you guys, what's going on? Hey, babe, how was your day? Not bad, the usual.
School was a major yawn, and then I got a job.
What? And then, a bus ran over a squirrel.
It totally exploded.
Ah, sweet.
Did you get a picture? Okay, thank you, thank you.
Go back to the job thing.
Well, you and Dad told me to get a job, so I'm working part-time Bed & Bath Max.
Yeah, but that's where I work.
I know.
None of the cool stores were hiring.
But that's where I work.
Plus, it was easy 'cause I used you as a reference.
Now we can drive together to work.
Please don't talk to me in the car.
Wow, babe, that vest looks really hot on you.
I never noticed it before 'cause I only saw it on your mom.
Hey, everyone.
Oh, Jay, the worst thing just happened.
I know, I know, the squirrel? It just exploded.
No, no.
You're not going to believe where Hallie got a job.
With me at Bed & Bath Max.
Oh, that's great.
No, it's not great.
No, it's not great.
What's the point of working if I can't get away from the kids? Yeah, you're telling me.
Thank God she didn't get a job at my office.
(chuckling) Look, we're the ones who encouraged her to get a job, so she got one; we got to back her up.
Okay, if you're just gonna say stuff that makes sense, we're not gonna have this conversation.
And then, you fold it in thirds.
Voilà.
Kind of known for my tri-fold around here.
Here, you try.
Oh, was I supposed to be paying attention? Yes, Hallie, you've been working here a week.
If you're gonna be a floater, you have to learn all the departments.
I can't wait to float over to bedding so I can lie down.
All right, here, finish these towels.
I'm gonna go over and price toilet scrubbers.
Yeah, that's right.
The glamour never ends.
Excuse me.
Hi.
Do you work here? I guess.
Okay.
These are listed as hotel-quality towels, and they are most definitely not.
I don't know.
They seem pretty fluffy to me.
Well, last year, my husband and I stayed at the Drake, and their towels were so much softer.
Like wrapping your body in a little puffy cloud.
Well, maybe you should go back to that hotel and steal a few of those.
What this girl, who I have no connection to other than I'm training her, is trying to say is that there are some nice Egyptian cotton towels down this way.
Uh, yes, uh, new trainee, would you please give her a coupon? Oh, I tossed those.
They were making my butt look lumpy.
Teenagers-- feel sorry for her mother.
Don't.
She's probably trash like the kid.
Come again.
Hallie, if you're gonna work here, you have to treat the customers with respect.
I mean, think of it as the opposite of how you talk to me at home.
Fine, whatevs.
Yeah, like, the opposite of that.
What?! I mean can I help you? Do you know where I can find the silicone muffin pans? Sure, ma'am, uh, those would be down aisle Mom! Mom! Where are the silicone muffin pans?! Yeah, yeah, hi.
They're in aisle seven in the kitchen section, which we went over two days ago.
Oh, you're a mother and daughter working together.
That is so cute.
No no, not even not even remotely.
Off you go.
Honey, you cannot call for me across the floor.
There is just so much stuff here.
Yeah, that's why it's called Bed & Bath Max, you know, and not Bed & Bath and That's It.
Oh, here comes Mr.
Abir.
Just keep folding towels.
Hello, Mr.
Abir.
I hope you two aren't turning work time into family time because, while you're both part of the Bed & Bath Max family, uh, we don't care about yours.
No, you made that perfectly clear last year at the Christmas party when you didn't let us invite our families.
Yeah, my idea.
Anyway, here's the only reason why any of us ever talk to each other.
Uh, paychecks.
Oh, thank you.
Cool, thanks, Mr.
Abir.
You might want to save a little of that because this year's Christmas party the punch won't be free.
Wow, my first paycheck.
Yeah, can you believe how much they take out? Can you believe how much they left in? This is enough to buy those jeans I want, that cool scarf and a week's worth of Starbucks.
And I get to make an awesome car payment and buy a pound and a half of russet potatoes.
We're rich! Hey, Shannon, you want to finish our game? The dog finally coughed up that checker.
Can't, Dad.
I'm working on the new layout for when I get Hallie's room when she goes to college.
'Cause the way she has it now bad feng shui.
Oh.
So how do I look? I'm thinking about wearing it for the open mic.
Does this say hot rocker chick? Let me just say if I wasn't married to you and I saw you wearing that, I would totally lie to my wife and say I wasn't attracted to you.
Aw.
If I weren't married to you, I would totally invite you backstage after the show.
Ooh, I love being married to a rock star.
And I love being married to someone in the insurance business.
Just does it for me.
Oh, I'm gonna start dinner in a second.
Where's Hallie? Oh, someone was running late to work, so she volunteered to fill in for them.
Uh, I'm sorry.
I meant our daughter, Hallie.
I know.
Right? Believe me, I had my doubts at first, but ever since she got her first paycheck, she's like a whiz at work.
You remember my infamous tri-fold? She nailed a quad.
Wow.
RITA: Hey.
What's all that? You know that dying mall across town where everybody's losing their jobs? They have some (singsongy): amazing sales.
Don't tell me you just spent two weeks' worth of paychecks.
Don't stress it, Mom.
As long as there's towels to be folded, cha-ching.
Honey, you should be saving your money, not spending it on clothes.
I got you this jacket.
Oh, it's cute.
It's for your gig.
'Cause this? Not so much.
Your father said I looked hot.
Uh, he wears Dockers.
Oh, come on.
All right, honey, thank you, but you should be saving your money, you know, for when you go to college.
Well, I'm not going to college.
What? Wait, whoa, whoa.
What do you mean you're not going to college? Well, now that I know that I can work and make my own money, I don't need to go.
RITA: Hallie, what are you talking about? You're going to throw away everything for an after-school job? Yeah, Hal, you can't survive in the real world with what you make there.
Says who? I just bought skinny jeans and a latte.
I can do this.
Hmm.
Yeah, if you can get yourself some skinny jeans and a latte, that's your golden parachute right there.
Hallie, this is Look, I knew you'd freak, but this is my life, and I'm not going to college.
I want that room.
Make it happen.
I can't believe Hallie doesn't want to go to college.
How did this happen? I blame myself for letting you talk her into getting a job.
Me? You were the one that was training her to be employee of the month.
I was trying to give her good work ethic.
Oh, great parenting, Reet.
All right.
Let's just take a beat and stop playing the blame game and think about how we can get Hallie out of this mess you got her into.
Look, I just I think we need to give her some time and she'll come around, that's all.
What if she doesn't? You saw her PSATs.
She's going to throw all of that away.
Honey, she's 16.
She changes her mind all the time.
Remember? First she wanted to be a Buddhist, then, then she wanted to be a DJ, and then, then she wanted to be a traffic reporter.
What the hell was that? That was weird.
That was weird.
So what do we do? Just sit back and do nothing? I just think that the more we push, the more she's going to dig her heels in.
Yeah, but Jay, if she likes working this much, she's going to stop studying; her grades are going to tank; and then she'll never get into college even if she does change her mind.
And then do you know where she and Kip will be living? You have got to get her fired.
Honey, I'm her mother.
I can't be that cruel.
Although, as her floor supervisor, I can torture her until she quits.
Break her.
Hey.
What are you doing here? I came to pick up a flatiron 'cause I want to look good for tonight's open mic! (both cheering) I know, I'm so excited.
Today I got busted singing into a candle.
Ooh.
(laughs) What's all that? This place is evil.
You can't just come in here and only buy one thing.
Like, look, this soap dish shaped like a duck.
Don't need it.
Probably never use it.
Got to have it.
This place is like Vegas.
We pump in pure oxygen.
You never stood a chance.
Hey, I don't see Hallie around here anywhere.
So did you get her to quit yet? Not yet, but soon.
I gave her the worst job in the store.
Stockroom.
David Blaine wouldn't last an hour in that hellhole.
(laughs) Hey, look, I'll pick you up tonight on the way to the gig.
Okay.
Is that a hamburger - shaped kitchen timer? Don't need it.
Probably never use it.
Got to have it.
Hallie, what are you doing? You're supposed to be stocking the new shipment.
Look, I know it's horrible and tedious and it'll probably make you want to quit, so get to it.
I'm done.
What? How'd you do this? It's never been this organized.
Well, people usually just jam the boxes in anywhere, so I looked up the SKU numbers of our top-selling items and now they're up front where they're easy to reach.
SKU numbers? You don't unload the dishwasher because you claim you don't know where the bowls go.
Pay me $7.
40 an hour and I'll put them in the upper right cabinet next to the dinner plates.
Everyone's buzzing about the stockroom.
I had to see it for myself.
It's spectacular.
Thank you, Mr.
Abir.
No, thank you.
This kind of initiative stands out.
When you're done with your training, I'm promoting you to salesperson.
Really? What does that mean? It means an extra 50 cents an hour and you get to use the restroom instead of running across the street to Chili's.
That's great.
No, no, Mr.
Abir, you can't do that.
As her mother and floor supervisor, I'm telling you she's not ready.
As her mother, you should be very proud, and as floor supervisor, you should know that title doesn't mean anything.
I get a promotion and you try to screw it up? What's with that? Because I'm looking out for your future, which you think is that piddly promotion and I think is you going to college.
Will you get off the college thing? It doesn't guarantee anything.
It gives you choices.
I want better for you.
I don't want you eating your lunch in a stockroom with boxes.
Well, if I decide to go later, I can always go.
But you won't.
That's the thing, Hallie.
Things happen, you know.
You start singing in a band and you're making a little money on the side and then you meet the love of your life and you get pregnant and there goes college.
And the next thing you know, you're in a dead-end job where the title of floor supervisor means nothing.
So you never finished college? No.
Well, don't make me finish it for you.
(laughter) No.
Girl, you're not ready yet? We're going to be late for our gig.
I can't clock out for another two minutes, so I'm pretending to work for the security camera.
Oh, oh, oh, well how about I give the security guys an eyeful of Patty? What's with the hat, Owen? Told you.
It's a porkpie hat.
It goes with the soul patch.
You're lucky I didn't take 15 minutes to grow some muttonchops.
Hey, hey, check out these flyers I made for the band.
I just put them on all the windshields in the parking lot.
Kip, that isn't even us.
That's a picture of The Pretenders.
I know.
That's how we lure them in.
We're literally "the pretenders.
" That's very dishonest.
All right, guys, I'm gonna go clock out and give Hallie my car keys.
Wait, so you didn't get her to quit? No, no, actually, I got her a promotion.
With a raise.
And benefits.
That'll teach her.
This new stock system is great.
I'm going to e-mail this to Jenkins in the Flint branch.
This is certain to chap his ass.
Well, good night.
You're not going anywhere.
Delores called in sick and I need you to fill in.
Oh, no, remember, I asked if I could leave early today and you said yes.
I have somewhere to be.
Yes, small kitchen appliances.
No, no, can't you get Francine to fill in? She's got, like, five kids.
Believe me, she wants to stay right here.
She already did a double shift.
No, I-I'm in a band and it's the first time we're playing outside of my garage.
It's kind of a big deal.
Yes, everyone has a story and none of them interest me.
I need you to stay, and you're staying.
No, remember, we, we talked about this.
You promised.
You want a promise? You leave and I promise tomorrow someone else will have your job.
On the floor now.
Oh, honey, I'm so sorry you had such a bad day.
You know what? Why don't why don't you just sit down and I'll get you a beer? Ugh don't say "Abir.
" No, but still get me one, yeah.
Oh.
Hey, Mama.
Hey, kiddo.
You okay? That was kind of harsh.
Yeah, yeah, look, I'm I'm sorry you had to see that, but I don't want you to worry about me.
It's just what it is and what I have to do sometimes.
Well, I told him I'd cover for you, but he said I wasn't trained to close yet.
Why does he have to be such a jerk? They teach that in the management training program.
I don't know how you stand it.
Let me tell you a little secret about adulthood that they don't want you to know.
Half the time, you're just numb.
Well, are you too tired to help me with some SAT questions? I'll get my book.
Really? Yeah.
You know, I just thought I'd keep my options open.
Well, if, if that's what you want.
I-I don't want to push you, but yay! (both laugh) (chattering) What's that? (mumbling): I don't know.
Check this out.
What's going on out here? Well, I figured if you couldn't come to open mic, I'd bring open mic to you.
What? Patty, that is the nicest thing you could have done for me.
I always got your back.
Now, come on.
Let's hit it.
Gosh, guys, thank you all so much for coming.
Wow, strangers and beer.
Let's do this fast.
I don't want them using my restroom.
One, two, three, four! You've got to change your evil ways Baby Before I stop loving you You've got to change Baby, yeah And every word that I say, it's true RITA & PATTY: You've got me running And hiding all over town BOTH: You've got me sneaking and peeping and running you down ALL: This can't go on Lord knows you got to change Whoo! OWEN & KIP: Baby Yeah, yeah, yeah Change BOTH: Baby Whoo Yeah, yeah, yeah Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh BOTH: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
(cheering and applause) Captioned by Media