Robot Chicken s01e07 Episode Script
A Piece of the Action
It's alive! Aah! Hip, hip, hooray! Hip, hip, hooray! Whew.
I ing hate you.
You're gonna take good care of my car, right? You guys got nothing to worry about.
I'm a professional.
- A professional what? - Come on, I'm hungry.
Hey, you're not Michael.
You can talk? If he can talk, I bet he can party! - Yeah! - Yeah! Playing, playing with a car Ha ha ha! Yeah! Playing, playing with a car 'Cause after parking limos Blech! A car that talks Said it was a bad time For a turbo boost I said it was the right time For a raunchy pursuit Yeah Playing, playing with a car Playing, playing with a car Kitt? Kitt? Stop farting.
That looked like my toe.
Why you in such a hurry? Going to the ball? Ha ha ha.
Not anymore.
We love you, Grandma.
Oh, I don't like it here.
Everybody's trying to kill me.
Oh, mom, nobody's trying to kill you.
Steve, we're gonna be late for the movie.
We'll see you next week.
Good-bye, Grandma! OK, dear.
Ohh! Ooh! Aah! Eee! Argh! What the Oh, no! Uhh! Ow! Yeah.
Lights out means lights out.
Bleh! Aah! Oh, gosh! Oh! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! OK, everybody, no touching.
They're eighteen now.
That's so awesome.
Why's that? Because, you know, they're legal.
Dude, you're, like, thirty-five.
Thanks, everybody.
See you soon.
What's the latest fabulous news, everybody? The Mary-Kate and Ashley in Moscow DVD hit number one! I knew it would.
The Olsen twins tropical toothpaste was endorsed by the American Tooth Association.
I just saved a ton of money by switching to Geico.
- Great! - Great! - Yes, chief? - Yes, chief? - What? The city's in trouble? - What? The city's in trouble? - We'll be right there.
- We'll be right there.
- Olsen twin powers activate! - Olsen twin powers activate! Form of a giant eagle! Shape of a bucket of water.
Glee glee glee glee.
Glee glee glee.
Gleek! Oh, my God! Oof! Oh, I hope the Olsen twins get here in time.
The dragon's tearing up the city.
We've gotta stop him.
Let's do it, Mary-Kate.
Ohh! - Aah! - Aah! Ew! Did you see that? I totally did.
His skin is totally irritated.
- Are you thinking what I'm thinking? - Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Oh, you're not an evil red dragon, are you? Oh, you're just a harmless dragon with a bad skin condition.
And that's what Olsen oil skin cream was made for.
Now lay down.
Oh, doesn't this feel good? - We did it! - We did it! Ahh Oomph! Hooray! Hooray! Next time on The Olsen Twins - Sandwich? - No, thanks.
Ha ha ha ha! Eh.
Mommy, there's a monster in my closet.
I know.
He's dead.
Ah, it's just a car.
Murder's a new trick for a robot, isn't it? Respond.
I did not murder him.
Must have done something real bad to piss you off.
Respond.
I did not murder him.
Or maybe you just hate humans.
Is that it? I did not murder him! Yeah, right.
Meet George Jetson, his boy Elroy daughter Judy, Jane, his wife.
Their lives have been tarnished by murder murder by way of a broken windowpane and a fatal fall to the ground below.
Who floats buildings that high up, I'm asking you.
They put treadmills on the outside of them.
You believe that? He could have fallen off one of those things, for all we know.
Damn, we are stupid in the future.
One detective knew it was no accident.
Don't you realize this is safety glass? It would have taken a robot to Oh, God! One man would speak out for Rosie's innocence.
Ridiculous.
My robots are harmless.
With the three laws of robotics the things have to do anything we tell them.
Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time for my sponge bath.
Come along, retard.
Beedie beedie beedie beedie.
Somebody kill me.
And what of the other victims in this unsolved crime the family of the deceased? It's not so bad.
I got a new dad and everything.
Time to go to your room, kid.
Rey! Ret rour rands roff rer! I don't know what you said but I'm pretty sure it's something people get neutered for.
The family hasn't seen much of Judy Jetson recently.
Dad's dead, and now I'm in this alley, and I have no aah! Aw, come on.
Of course Rosie did it.
Those three laws are full of crap, you know? She was built to keep the place clean, but he always kept it messy.
She probably killed him to make sure the place wouldn't get dirty.
How do I know this? Because I, too, am a robot.
Git git git git got git git Gaw ge-gaw ge-gaw Ge ge go-gaw ge Eee, erh, robot Who killed George Jetson? Big businessman gone bad? That pissing dog? Or was it truly the soulless metal housekeeper? I really didn't murder Mr.
J.
, you know? Perhaps, but just to be safe Next time on Unsolved Case Files, Jem.
Was she truly outrageous? Truly, truly, truly outrageous? - Ba-gawk! - Bock.
Stupid monkey.
I ing hate you.
You're gonna take good care of my car, right? You guys got nothing to worry about.
I'm a professional.
- A professional what? - Come on, I'm hungry.
Hey, you're not Michael.
You can talk? If he can talk, I bet he can party! - Yeah! - Yeah! Playing, playing with a car Ha ha ha! Yeah! Playing, playing with a car 'Cause after parking limos Blech! A car that talks Said it was a bad time For a turbo boost I said it was the right time For a raunchy pursuit Yeah Playing, playing with a car Playing, playing with a car Kitt? Kitt? Stop farting.
That looked like my toe.
Why you in such a hurry? Going to the ball? Ha ha ha.
Not anymore.
We love you, Grandma.
Oh, I don't like it here.
Everybody's trying to kill me.
Oh, mom, nobody's trying to kill you.
Steve, we're gonna be late for the movie.
We'll see you next week.
Good-bye, Grandma! OK, dear.
Ohh! Ooh! Aah! Eee! Argh! What the Oh, no! Uhh! Ow! Yeah.
Lights out means lights out.
Bleh! Aah! Oh, gosh! Oh! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! OK, everybody, no touching.
They're eighteen now.
That's so awesome.
Why's that? Because, you know, they're legal.
Dude, you're, like, thirty-five.
Thanks, everybody.
See you soon.
What's the latest fabulous news, everybody? The Mary-Kate and Ashley in Moscow DVD hit number one! I knew it would.
The Olsen twins tropical toothpaste was endorsed by the American Tooth Association.
I just saved a ton of money by switching to Geico.
- Great! - Great! - Yes, chief? - Yes, chief? - What? The city's in trouble? - What? The city's in trouble? - We'll be right there.
- We'll be right there.
- Olsen twin powers activate! - Olsen twin powers activate! Form of a giant eagle! Shape of a bucket of water.
Glee glee glee glee.
Glee glee glee.
Gleek! Oh, my God! Oof! Oh, I hope the Olsen twins get here in time.
The dragon's tearing up the city.
We've gotta stop him.
Let's do it, Mary-Kate.
Ohh! - Aah! - Aah! Ew! Did you see that? I totally did.
His skin is totally irritated.
- Are you thinking what I'm thinking? - Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Oh, you're not an evil red dragon, are you? Oh, you're just a harmless dragon with a bad skin condition.
And that's what Olsen oil skin cream was made for.
Now lay down.
Oh, doesn't this feel good? - We did it! - We did it! Ahh Oomph! Hooray! Hooray! Next time on The Olsen Twins - Sandwich? - No, thanks.
Ha ha ha ha! Eh.
Mommy, there's a monster in my closet.
I know.
He's dead.
Ah, it's just a car.
Murder's a new trick for a robot, isn't it? Respond.
I did not murder him.
Must have done something real bad to piss you off.
Respond.
I did not murder him.
Or maybe you just hate humans.
Is that it? I did not murder him! Yeah, right.
Meet George Jetson, his boy Elroy daughter Judy, Jane, his wife.
Their lives have been tarnished by murder murder by way of a broken windowpane and a fatal fall to the ground below.
Who floats buildings that high up, I'm asking you.
They put treadmills on the outside of them.
You believe that? He could have fallen off one of those things, for all we know.
Damn, we are stupid in the future.
One detective knew it was no accident.
Don't you realize this is safety glass? It would have taken a robot to Oh, God! One man would speak out for Rosie's innocence.
Ridiculous.
My robots are harmless.
With the three laws of robotics the things have to do anything we tell them.
Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time for my sponge bath.
Come along, retard.
Beedie beedie beedie beedie.
Somebody kill me.
And what of the other victims in this unsolved crime the family of the deceased? It's not so bad.
I got a new dad and everything.
Time to go to your room, kid.
Rey! Ret rour rands roff rer! I don't know what you said but I'm pretty sure it's something people get neutered for.
The family hasn't seen much of Judy Jetson recently.
Dad's dead, and now I'm in this alley, and I have no aah! Aw, come on.
Of course Rosie did it.
Those three laws are full of crap, you know? She was built to keep the place clean, but he always kept it messy.
She probably killed him to make sure the place wouldn't get dirty.
How do I know this? Because I, too, am a robot.
Git git git git got git git Gaw ge-gaw ge-gaw Ge ge go-gaw ge Eee, erh, robot Who killed George Jetson? Big businessman gone bad? That pissing dog? Or was it truly the soulless metal housekeeper? I really didn't murder Mr.
J.
, you know? Perhaps, but just to be safe Next time on Unsolved Case Files, Jem.
Was she truly outrageous? Truly, truly, truly outrageous? - Ba-gawk! - Bock.
Stupid monkey.