Room 104 (2017) s01e07 Episode Script
The Missionaries
1 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) Room 104 1x07 "The Missionaries" August 9, 2017 (LOCK BEEPS) - Darn it all.
- Elder, please.
Sorry, it's just it's exhausting.
Is it just me or do they seem to be getting more mean lately? I think it's just been a long day.
(HUFFS) A lot of long days.
Long months.
I heard Elder Cade and Elder Jason didn't get any.
We'll get one.
- How do you know? - 'Cause I believe.
I believed we'd get a ton.
You know, just because they don't convert right in front of us doesn't mean they're not gonna convert.
I mean, maybe down the line, they'll come around.
- (URINATING) - I know.
I remember.
I'm just saying it's a long process, so don't get down, Elder.
I'm not down.
- I guess I'm just starting to - (TOILET FLUSHES) I think we started something very real and promising with Sister Halfon the other day.
I think with steady work and dedication, she could be our very first convert.
Really? I mean, we were there for over an hour and a half.
She was obviously engaged.
She was definitely interested.
What are you insinuating? She was hot for you, Elder.
- Stop.
Stop it.
- What? I didn't say anything bad.
- Okay, but you're thinking it.
- Oh, come on.
You don't have those kinds of thoughts? If I do, I just don't entertain them at all.
What do you do, then? I pray to Heavenly Father.
(SPITS) - What? I do.
- Okay, I'm just saying if I was you and Sister Halfon was looking at me like that, I'd have a hard time focusing on my prayers.
All right, well, if you don't mind, I'd like to do just that right now, okay? Let's pray to the Heavenly Father and ask for His intervention and help, and hopefully we can get one convert.
At least one.
It doesn't bother you? What? (SIGHS) That we've asked God for help for so many straight days and He hasn't helped us yet.
Like I said, conversions don't just happen on the spot.
I heard you, but don't you ever have doubts? What do you mean by doubts? I mean You know what I mean.
I don't think that I do, Elder.
- What do you mean by doubts? - Well, I'm not sure this isn't a big waste of time.
Nobody wants to talk to us.
We're spending so much of our own money.
Couldn't we have helped a lot of people with that money? Wouldn't that be better spent someplace else? Like go to an orphanage and give it to the children there.
Hmm.
And look, I'm I'm 20 years old and I have urges.
I feel them.
Is that a sin? Why would He create those urges in the first place? (PANTING) And darn it all.
I had coffee.
You you what?! It was at the free Holiday Inn buffet.
It was last month.
I tried it.
I can't believe I can't believe this! - Why did you do that? - It was delicious, Joseph.
Stop, stop, stop, stop.
You need to pray for forgiveness.
Right now.
Here, I'll pray with you.
I don't wanna pray for forgiveness.
Well, what do you wanna pray for? Maybe I don't feel like praying.
Uh, well, I think you should start praying because you drank coffee and you're talking about - really strange urges.
- Fine, then.
I'll pray for a sign.
- A sign? - Yes.
That this is the true path.
Okay, then.
- Okay? - Yeah.
Let's pray for a sign, then, together.
Good.
Should we consult our scripture? Yes.
All right.
(SIGHS) - (TV TURNS ON) - (WOMAN MOANING) Yeah.
What was that? Um I believe that was, um pornography.
Joseph, do you know what this means?! We prayed for a sign from God, and pornography appeared on our television set! No, actually I actually didn't start praying yet, so that's impossible.
Come on, don't deny this! All right, there must be some kind of explanation here.
Here, like oh, hmm, see? It was the television remote that was under the pillows.
That must've turned on the pornography.
Right at the exact moment we asked Heavenly Father for a sign.
The exact spot you sat down! Okay, Heavenly Father would not send us pornography as a sign.
- How do you know? - Because I think I know Heavenly Father - well enough to know that.
- But do you really? Yeah.
I mean, what kind of sign would that even be? I don't know, but I'm excited to discuss and explore with you.
Absolutely not.
Absolutely not.
Absolutely not.
Okay, I'm just gonna And just just (GROANS) Here, cover it.
Like this.
And then it's - There.
- Relax! - Now it's all - Everything's okay.
Everything's okay?! Everything's okay? We just watched pornography.
We watched pornography and you drank coffee.
I don't know what's happening to us.
Everything is not okay.
Everything is absolutely not okay.
- Okay okay, um - (EXHALES) (HYPERVENTILATING) - (CRIES) - Relax, it's okay.
Listen to me, you're okay.
You didn't do anything wrong.
It's no big deal.
(PANTING, MUTTERING) There.
(GRUNTS) - You okay? - Yeah.
Yeah, I'm fine.
Why? - I don't know.
- I don't know either.
Why'd you ask ask if I'm okay if I'm obviously okay? - Okay, you're okay.
- Yeah, I'm okay.
I just sort of you know, I just get tired of sitting on one bed.
So bored of that, so I jump to the other one.
- Yeah.
- I'm gonna go take a shower.
(MUSIC PLAYING) (SHOWER RUNNING) (WATER STOPS) Are we starting with the Arena Subdivision tomorrow? Um, sure.
Do you have a clean garment top I can borrow? Yes, I do.
You mad at me? Why would I be mad at you? I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.
Oh, I'm not uncomfortable.
You're my friend, and when you stray, I help you get back on the path.
I'm not sure that's what happened.
Sure, it is.
You were having doubts and I helped you reconfirm your faith.
'Cause I don't have any doubts.
Okay, well, I'm gonna go to sleep.
See you in the morning, Elder.
See you in the morning.
- (CRICKETS CHIRPING) - (ELECTRICITY BUZZING) (LOCK BEEPS) NOAH: What are you doing? Elder Jensen, you left me? I know, I'm sorry.
What's going on? (CLEARS THROAT) How'd you get it? He didn't even ask for my identification.
I could've been anyone.
(BOTH LAUGHING) Okay.
So, for argument's sake, let's say that the pornography was a sign.
Okay.
To me, that can only mean one thing St.
Augustine.
Who? Oh, he was a saint from the Catholic faith.
He was a very real sinner.
What what were his sins? Every sin you can think of.
But he was on a very similar conversion crusade to ours, and when he finally found God and he repented, he became one of the greatest saints of all time.
Because he had sinned.
Right, because he had sinned.
(CHUCKLES) (MUSIC PLAYING) So then over the loudspeaker, I just hear, "Keep your hands and feet inside the ride.
" And I was just like, "Oh, no.
" I wanted to put my hands up in the ride.
- What did you do? - So I waited until we got to the top.
It was like (TICKING) As soon as we got to the top, I look over to see if no one was looking, and I was like - No! - I just put my hands up.
And I was like, "Am I gonna get arrested?" (BOTH GIGGLING) WOMAN ON TV: Oh, yeah, I definitely fuck for money, but I also do it for fun.
- MAN ON TV: Why is that? - Well, because I'm great at it.
- Oh, really? - Uh-huh.
MAN: How do I know you're telling the truth? Maybe you should pull over this taxi and find out.
MAN: Oh, you're gonna show me? WOMAN: I'll show you.
(WOMAN GIGGLES, MOANS) - Whoa.
- (CLEARS THROAT) - Wow.
- (WOMAN PANTING) Yeah.
(BOTH MOANING) - MAN: Oh, yeah.
- WOMAN: Yeah.
(WOMAN MOANING) (MAN MOANING) WOMAN: Yeah.
WOMAN: Yeah.
I saw Sister Wilber's vagina once - Yeah? - after church.
(GRUNTS) (PANTS) I helped her into her car and I saw it through her underwear.
- You did? - Yes.
It was awesome.
I imagined what it would feel like.
Like a peach.
(BOTH MOAN) To place my parts on her part (GASPS) (GROANS) Darn it all! Oh, oh, my gosh.
(PANTING) (WOMAN MOANING) (GROANS) - (WOMAN MOANS) - (JOSEPH SHUDDERS) (TV TURNS OFF) Hey, Elder? (WHISPERS) Yeah? Is this normal? We didn't break something? I don't think so.
(BIRDS CHIRPING) (LOCK BEEPS, DOOR OPENS) Yay, you're awake! - Yeah.
- Guess what.
Here, I got us some coffee.
Here.
How'd you sleep? Um, not great.
You? Eh, I slept all right.
Hey, I was thinking maybe instead of going to the Arena Subdivision today, we go to a movie.
I actually saw this movie in the paper called "Gangsta Love.
" I don't know.
I haven't really heard of it, but sounds interesting.
What? You okay? Uh, yeah, just waking up.
Coffee's good for that.
Aren't you gonna drink your coffee? We need to talk about last night.
Um, okay.
(GRUNTS) It was crazy.
Yeah.
I mean, we could call it a lot of things.
We could call it, you know, new and inspired and eye-opening, but, yeah, in all fairness, it was it was a bit crazy.
Well, I guess I'm starting to Are you having some doubts? - Well, yes.
- Okay.
That is really a big thing for you, isn't it? Okay, well, let's get into it.
- We drank beer, Elder.
- I know.
- I was really drunk.
- Yeah, so was I.
Okay, I think if Heavenly Father actually exists, then I think He was there with us last night.
I think He was guiding us through this this change.
And if that's true, then maybe this change wasn't so bad.
- Elder - No, no, let me finish.
My world has opened up and I can't go back to my old world.
And if that's what Heavenly Father brought us last night, then I'd like to try it again and more.
I'd like to drink beer and laugh and explore, you know, like normal people our age do.
I just feel like Are you saying you wanna leave the church? I don't know.
I don't know.
But I do know that I definitely wanna go further before I even consider going back.
What are you doing? I'm pushing, pushing further.
Let's just try everything.
Let's just go for it.
Elder, I'm not You know, actually, we don't know we are.
Like, that's the really great thing, is we can just try stuff and kind of figure it out.
I'm really interested.
- I can't - I'm really interested - and I know you are, too, and - I can't.
and you're my best friend.
- I can't.
- Oh, but you definitely can, Elder.
Noah.
- Just - Get away from me.
Noah, it's okay.
(GRUNTS) Elder? Elder! Elder, please wake up.
Please wake up.
Joseph.
Joseph.
Joseph.
(SLAPPING) Joseph, wake up.
Wake up! (PANTING) Elder.
Elder! Joseph! Joseph.
(PANTING) Joseph! Joseph.
This is supposed to work! (SOBS) Wake up.
Please wake up.
What is this? Was is this the sign we asked for? Or are we being punished? I don't understand any of this anymore.
I feel that You have forsaken me.
- You have tempted - (GASPING) Oh.
(GROANS) Did I just, uh Uh-huh.
And then I just came back? Uh-huh.
It's a sign.
It's a miracle.
Let's pray.
- We should get going.
- Okay.
Wanna start with the Arena Subdivision? Yes, sounds good.
48 more days to go.
We'll get one, Elder.
I know we will, Elder.
Elder? You thinking about? Yes.
Shall we offer it up to St.
Augustine? (MUSIC PLAYING) (SINGERS VOCALIZING) Every man Needs a companion Someone to console him Like I need you Oh (VOCALIZING)
- Elder, please.
Sorry, it's just it's exhausting.
Is it just me or do they seem to be getting more mean lately? I think it's just been a long day.
(HUFFS) A lot of long days.
Long months.
I heard Elder Cade and Elder Jason didn't get any.
We'll get one.
- How do you know? - 'Cause I believe.
I believed we'd get a ton.
You know, just because they don't convert right in front of us doesn't mean they're not gonna convert.
I mean, maybe down the line, they'll come around.
- (URINATING) - I know.
I remember.
I'm just saying it's a long process, so don't get down, Elder.
I'm not down.
- I guess I'm just starting to - (TOILET FLUSHES) I think we started something very real and promising with Sister Halfon the other day.
I think with steady work and dedication, she could be our very first convert.
Really? I mean, we were there for over an hour and a half.
She was obviously engaged.
She was definitely interested.
What are you insinuating? She was hot for you, Elder.
- Stop.
Stop it.
- What? I didn't say anything bad.
- Okay, but you're thinking it.
- Oh, come on.
You don't have those kinds of thoughts? If I do, I just don't entertain them at all.
What do you do, then? I pray to Heavenly Father.
(SPITS) - What? I do.
- Okay, I'm just saying if I was you and Sister Halfon was looking at me like that, I'd have a hard time focusing on my prayers.
All right, well, if you don't mind, I'd like to do just that right now, okay? Let's pray to the Heavenly Father and ask for His intervention and help, and hopefully we can get one convert.
At least one.
It doesn't bother you? What? (SIGHS) That we've asked God for help for so many straight days and He hasn't helped us yet.
Like I said, conversions don't just happen on the spot.
I heard you, but don't you ever have doubts? What do you mean by doubts? I mean You know what I mean.
I don't think that I do, Elder.
- What do you mean by doubts? - Well, I'm not sure this isn't a big waste of time.
Nobody wants to talk to us.
We're spending so much of our own money.
Couldn't we have helped a lot of people with that money? Wouldn't that be better spent someplace else? Like go to an orphanage and give it to the children there.
Hmm.
And look, I'm I'm 20 years old and I have urges.
I feel them.
Is that a sin? Why would He create those urges in the first place? (PANTING) And darn it all.
I had coffee.
You you what?! It was at the free Holiday Inn buffet.
It was last month.
I tried it.
I can't believe I can't believe this! - Why did you do that? - It was delicious, Joseph.
Stop, stop, stop, stop.
You need to pray for forgiveness.
Right now.
Here, I'll pray with you.
I don't wanna pray for forgiveness.
Well, what do you wanna pray for? Maybe I don't feel like praying.
Uh, well, I think you should start praying because you drank coffee and you're talking about - really strange urges.
- Fine, then.
I'll pray for a sign.
- A sign? - Yes.
That this is the true path.
Okay, then.
- Okay? - Yeah.
Let's pray for a sign, then, together.
Good.
Should we consult our scripture? Yes.
All right.
(SIGHS) - (TV TURNS ON) - (WOMAN MOANING) Yeah.
What was that? Um I believe that was, um pornography.
Joseph, do you know what this means?! We prayed for a sign from God, and pornography appeared on our television set! No, actually I actually didn't start praying yet, so that's impossible.
Come on, don't deny this! All right, there must be some kind of explanation here.
Here, like oh, hmm, see? It was the television remote that was under the pillows.
That must've turned on the pornography.
Right at the exact moment we asked Heavenly Father for a sign.
The exact spot you sat down! Okay, Heavenly Father would not send us pornography as a sign.
- How do you know? - Because I think I know Heavenly Father - well enough to know that.
- But do you really? Yeah.
I mean, what kind of sign would that even be? I don't know, but I'm excited to discuss and explore with you.
Absolutely not.
Absolutely not.
Absolutely not.
Okay, I'm just gonna And just just (GROANS) Here, cover it.
Like this.
And then it's - There.
- Relax! - Now it's all - Everything's okay.
Everything's okay?! Everything's okay? We just watched pornography.
We watched pornography and you drank coffee.
I don't know what's happening to us.
Everything is not okay.
Everything is absolutely not okay.
- Okay okay, um - (EXHALES) (HYPERVENTILATING) - (CRIES) - Relax, it's okay.
Listen to me, you're okay.
You didn't do anything wrong.
It's no big deal.
(PANTING, MUTTERING) There.
(GRUNTS) - You okay? - Yeah.
Yeah, I'm fine.
Why? - I don't know.
- I don't know either.
Why'd you ask ask if I'm okay if I'm obviously okay? - Okay, you're okay.
- Yeah, I'm okay.
I just sort of you know, I just get tired of sitting on one bed.
So bored of that, so I jump to the other one.
- Yeah.
- I'm gonna go take a shower.
(MUSIC PLAYING) (SHOWER RUNNING) (WATER STOPS) Are we starting with the Arena Subdivision tomorrow? Um, sure.
Do you have a clean garment top I can borrow? Yes, I do.
You mad at me? Why would I be mad at you? I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.
Oh, I'm not uncomfortable.
You're my friend, and when you stray, I help you get back on the path.
I'm not sure that's what happened.
Sure, it is.
You were having doubts and I helped you reconfirm your faith.
'Cause I don't have any doubts.
Okay, well, I'm gonna go to sleep.
See you in the morning, Elder.
See you in the morning.
- (CRICKETS CHIRPING) - (ELECTRICITY BUZZING) (LOCK BEEPS) NOAH: What are you doing? Elder Jensen, you left me? I know, I'm sorry.
What's going on? (CLEARS THROAT) How'd you get it? He didn't even ask for my identification.
I could've been anyone.
(BOTH LAUGHING) Okay.
So, for argument's sake, let's say that the pornography was a sign.
Okay.
To me, that can only mean one thing St.
Augustine.
Who? Oh, he was a saint from the Catholic faith.
He was a very real sinner.
What what were his sins? Every sin you can think of.
But he was on a very similar conversion crusade to ours, and when he finally found God and he repented, he became one of the greatest saints of all time.
Because he had sinned.
Right, because he had sinned.
(CHUCKLES) (MUSIC PLAYING) So then over the loudspeaker, I just hear, "Keep your hands and feet inside the ride.
" And I was just like, "Oh, no.
" I wanted to put my hands up in the ride.
- What did you do? - So I waited until we got to the top.
It was like (TICKING) As soon as we got to the top, I look over to see if no one was looking, and I was like - No! - I just put my hands up.
And I was like, "Am I gonna get arrested?" (BOTH GIGGLING) WOMAN ON TV: Oh, yeah, I definitely fuck for money, but I also do it for fun.
- MAN ON TV: Why is that? - Well, because I'm great at it.
- Oh, really? - Uh-huh.
MAN: How do I know you're telling the truth? Maybe you should pull over this taxi and find out.
MAN: Oh, you're gonna show me? WOMAN: I'll show you.
(WOMAN GIGGLES, MOANS) - Whoa.
- (CLEARS THROAT) - Wow.
- (WOMAN PANTING) Yeah.
(BOTH MOANING) - MAN: Oh, yeah.
- WOMAN: Yeah.
(WOMAN MOANING) (MAN MOANING) WOMAN: Yeah.
WOMAN: Yeah.
I saw Sister Wilber's vagina once - Yeah? - after church.
(GRUNTS) (PANTS) I helped her into her car and I saw it through her underwear.
- You did? - Yes.
It was awesome.
I imagined what it would feel like.
Like a peach.
(BOTH MOAN) To place my parts on her part (GASPS) (GROANS) Darn it all! Oh, oh, my gosh.
(PANTING) (WOMAN MOANING) (GROANS) - (WOMAN MOANS) - (JOSEPH SHUDDERS) (TV TURNS OFF) Hey, Elder? (WHISPERS) Yeah? Is this normal? We didn't break something? I don't think so.
(BIRDS CHIRPING) (LOCK BEEPS, DOOR OPENS) Yay, you're awake! - Yeah.
- Guess what.
Here, I got us some coffee.
Here.
How'd you sleep? Um, not great.
You? Eh, I slept all right.
Hey, I was thinking maybe instead of going to the Arena Subdivision today, we go to a movie.
I actually saw this movie in the paper called "Gangsta Love.
" I don't know.
I haven't really heard of it, but sounds interesting.
What? You okay? Uh, yeah, just waking up.
Coffee's good for that.
Aren't you gonna drink your coffee? We need to talk about last night.
Um, okay.
(GRUNTS) It was crazy.
Yeah.
I mean, we could call it a lot of things.
We could call it, you know, new and inspired and eye-opening, but, yeah, in all fairness, it was it was a bit crazy.
Well, I guess I'm starting to Are you having some doubts? - Well, yes.
- Okay.
That is really a big thing for you, isn't it? Okay, well, let's get into it.
- We drank beer, Elder.
- I know.
- I was really drunk.
- Yeah, so was I.
Okay, I think if Heavenly Father actually exists, then I think He was there with us last night.
I think He was guiding us through this this change.
And if that's true, then maybe this change wasn't so bad.
- Elder - No, no, let me finish.
My world has opened up and I can't go back to my old world.
And if that's what Heavenly Father brought us last night, then I'd like to try it again and more.
I'd like to drink beer and laugh and explore, you know, like normal people our age do.
I just feel like Are you saying you wanna leave the church? I don't know.
I don't know.
But I do know that I definitely wanna go further before I even consider going back.
What are you doing? I'm pushing, pushing further.
Let's just try everything.
Let's just go for it.
Elder, I'm not You know, actually, we don't know we are.
Like, that's the really great thing, is we can just try stuff and kind of figure it out.
I'm really interested.
- I can't - I'm really interested - and I know you are, too, and - I can't.
and you're my best friend.
- I can't.
- Oh, but you definitely can, Elder.
Noah.
- Just - Get away from me.
Noah, it's okay.
(GRUNTS) Elder? Elder! Elder, please wake up.
Please wake up.
Joseph.
Joseph.
Joseph.
(SLAPPING) Joseph, wake up.
Wake up! (PANTING) Elder.
Elder! Joseph! Joseph.
(PANTING) Joseph! Joseph.
This is supposed to work! (SOBS) Wake up.
Please wake up.
What is this? Was is this the sign we asked for? Or are we being punished? I don't understand any of this anymore.
I feel that You have forsaken me.
- You have tempted - (GASPING) Oh.
(GROANS) Did I just, uh Uh-huh.
And then I just came back? Uh-huh.
It's a sign.
It's a miracle.
Let's pray.
- We should get going.
- Okay.
Wanna start with the Arena Subdivision? Yes, sounds good.
48 more days to go.
We'll get one, Elder.
I know we will, Elder.
Elder? You thinking about? Yes.
Shall we offer it up to St.
Augustine? (MUSIC PLAYING) (SINGERS VOCALIZING) Every man Needs a companion Someone to console him Like I need you Oh (VOCALIZING)