Saved by the Bell (2020) s01e07 Episode Script

[upbeat music]
- [grunts]
- Hey, Lexi, think fast!
- Jamie, you have to say
"think fast"
before you throw it.
- Sorry.
I always get the order wrong.
Are you ready for my party
Saturday night?
- Oh, yeah.
As an early birthday present,
I got DJ Khaled's baby
to make you a playlist.
It's okay.
- [chuckles]
Hey, fast, think Aisha!
I did it wrong again.
- [laughs softly]
[melancholy music]
- So how are you doing with
- Please stop.
I don't care about
Jamie and Aisha.
- But you like him.
I mean, it's okay
to have feelings about--
- The only reason I like Jamie
is because we would've been
the ultimate power couple.
The brain naturally wants
popular, hot people
to be together
and rule over society.
That's why it's annoying
when beautiful actresses
date "SNL" writers.
- So you're good?
- Of course.
I wish Jamie and Aisha
all the luck in the world.
- Cool.
- Goodbye.
Have a wonderful day.
- I am PO'd as F.
Jamie promised me
his extra ticket
to see Dane Cook at Morongo,
but apparently
he's going with Aisha.
- I'm sure you guys
will work it out.
- Huh?
You're not making any sense.
- Oh, sorry,
I'm still in character
from another conversation.
How's this?
Jamie has no right to rob you
of seeing your
favorite comedian
at your favorite casino
on the way to Palm Springs.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
- You know what we have
to do, right?
- Break up Jamie and Aisha.
- Oh, I was gonna say buy
two tickets and go with them,
but let's do your thing.
[school bell rings]
- When I wake up
in the mornin'
Alarm gives out a warnin'
I don't think
I'll ever make it on time
[school bell ringing]
By the time
I grab my books
And I give myself a look
I'm at the corner
just in time
It's all right,
it's all right
Saved by the bell,
it's all right
It's all right,
saved by the bell
It's all right
'Cause I'm saved
by the bell
[school bell ringing]
- Uh, morning, Slater.
Just a couple of
school-related items
I wanted to run by you.
The pool is closed
for cleaning.
We have parent-teacher
conferences now on Wednesday.
Also, you have
a mandatory double date
with me and two fly honeys at
Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville
on Saturday night,
and oh, the new
volleyball mats came in.
And I think--yup, that's it.
Thanks a million.
- Nice try.
- Please?
- No way.
- Listen, my date won't go
unless I bring someone
for her friend.
- So ask somebody else.
- No, no.
Listen, listen, listen.
It can only be you.
You see, they think one of us
is you and one of us is me,
but you're the one
they think is me.
- And where would they
get that idea?
- I don't know.
My dating profile pic
is a group shot,
and you're kind of
in it, but
- This is a picture of only me.
- My arm is in it.
Therefore, it's not catfishing.
- Yeah, the liquid's supposed
to look purple.
- I'm so excited
for Jamie's birthday.
I've never been
to a rich kid party before.
- Uh, Jamie's not really
a rich kid.
- Um, I once saw him Postmate
a churro from Disneyland.
Your boy rich.
Do you think the party
is gonna be like "Euphoria",
all emo and smoke-filled,
and everyone's, like, damaged,
but in a sexy way?
- Since when do you watch
"Euphoria?"
- Since I started my extensive
research project
on how to have fun.
- Mm.
- I'm using our first
Bayside party
as an opportunity
to rebrand myself
from a social perspective.
Exciting, huh?
- Not the way you say it.
- No, I'm actually gonna party
this time,
not just stand in the corner
or try to make friends
with the dog.
- Wow, you really are
rebranding yourself
from a social perspective.
- So can your dad drive us?
- Uh, I'm obviously gonna
be dressed like a stripper.
- Oh.
- We need a non-parental ride.
Hey, DeVante!
- My clothes are going to burn
off my body.
- Chill, bro, it's not an acid.
It's a base.
- Ooh.
- What's up?
- Can you drive us
to Jamie's party this Saturday?
- No.
- I'll give you 30 bucks
and the login to my Netflix.
- Deal.
- Yes, he'll take us.
Ooh.
- I'm sorry, but could you have
been wrong about the acid?
- Yeah, could have been.
- All we have to do
is make Jamie think
that his beloved dog
hates Aisha.
I cut up hot dogs.
You put them in Aisha's pants.
The dog bites her crotch,
Jamie dumps her.
See figure A.
- Your plan is bad.
Here's what we're gonna do.
Using psychological warfare,
we will prey upon
Jamie and Aisha's
individual weaknesses
to drive a wedge between them
and destroy their relationship.
Step one.
We make Aisha think that all
of Jamie's hot ex-girlfriends
have sent him
romantic birthday gifts.
Aisha, competitive by nature,
feels the first pangs
of jealousy.
Step two.
We exploit Aisha's
deepest insecurity.
Prior to the party,
I will break into her home
and replace her heels
with an identical pair
two sizes too small.
- The Grinch Maneuver.
Genius.
- Step three, Jamie's
Swedish model ex-girlfriend
suddenly pops out of a cake,
her tiny little feet
on full display.
- You sure are putting
a lot of eggs
into the "insecure
about her feet" basket.
- Shut up, okay?
There's 97 more steps.
- [sighs]
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Heard Jamie's having
a big party this weekend.
- No, not a big party,
just a few friends.
- Man, remember how much fun
high school parties
used to be back in the day?
- [chuckles]
- Roll in
rocking your most neon
tank top,
tell the DJ to hit it,
then dominate the dance floor.
- Can you believe
that was, like, 30 years ago?
- No.
There haven't been 30
NBA championships
since high school.
Raptors, Warriors, Warriors,
Cavs, Warriors, Spurs,
Heat, Heat, Lakers five times,
Bulls, Bulls, Bulls,
Rockets, Rockets, Bulls--
damn, you're right.
- Hmm.
- But I don't feel
30 years older.
- I do.
Last night I threw my back out
rocking Jamie to sleep.
- [clears throat]
Hey, listen.
Since René
is still at his retreat,
I could swing by your house
and help you chaperone.
- I'm not gonna be there.
- What are you, nuts?
You can't leave a bunch of kids
unchaperoned
in your nice house.
I wouldn't leave them
unchaperoned
in my not-nice not-a-house.
- Slater, a parent must
plant the seeds of trust
if they ever hope to one day
enjoy the shade
of the trust tree's
leafy branches.
That's a metaphor my editor
cut from my book
'cause it was bad.
- Well, um, since
you gotta be out of the house
anyway, um
I was probably gonna
go to the movies or something.
- Oh, no, sorry,
I'm gonna be out of town.
René called and asked me
to come visit him in Arizona.
- You didn't let me finish.
I was going to the movies
because I have a date.
- Wait, you were inviting me
on your date?
- Oh, so I guess
I was also on a date
with everyone else
sitting in the movie theater?
[scoffs]
Grow up, Jessie.
- No, I am not in the market
for solar paneling, Eric.
But listen, while I have you,
what are you doing
Saturday night?
- I'll go on your
stupid double date.
- Really?
Oh, great!
- Hey, never mind.
Slot's been filled, loser.
Why, yes,
I'll hold for the survey.
- And then the next step--
- Are we almost done?
- Yes, step 99.
Our plan has culminated
in a massive
un-take-back-able fight.
- [yells]
- Jamie retreats
to his bedroom, devastated.
Finally, step 100.
I comfort Jamie,
remind him of our easy
friendship and shared past,
we kiss, and Jamie's free.
- Wait, why do you
have to kiss?
- Uh, to ensure
they're really broken up.
- Oh, that makes perfect sense.
That's an excellent plan.
- Thank you, I thought of it
as I was saying it.
- And it's, like, classic Lexi,
like, the evil
and diabolical plans
you used to come up with
all the time.
- What are you talking about?
- You know,
you used to be, like,
cool and mean,
and then you kind of went soft.
Like, after a rapper has a kid
and does
a family vacation movie.
- Okay, what?
I'm still cool and mean.
I've insulted, like,
seven people today, idiot.
Ooh, make that eight.
- Doesn't matter.
What's important is
I'm going to see Dean Cain
in Morocco.
- What? I thought it was
Dane Cook at Morongo.
- That's what I said.
- Hey, get out
of the teacher's lounge.
And how the hell did you
get a conference table in here?
[upbeat hip-hop music]
- This house is huge.
Maybe Jamie is a rich kid.
- Yeah, it was purchased
back in 2002 for $3.1 million.
What?
Y'all didn't Google the address
before we got here?
- Huh--
Sorry, I was nervous,
so I pregamed with my mom's
Don Q she saves for Christmas.
I'm fine.
Let's do this, baby.
- Is she wearing angel wings?
- I don't--I don't know.
- People say
I drive too fast
Move too fast,
live too fast
Ain't no such thing
as too fast for me
- Daisy, your foot
is in the trash can.
[upbeat music playing]
- I may have
pregamed too much.
- How many days did it take you
to drive to Connecticut?
- Ooh-la-la.
Sorry, pal,
dibs on the hot one.
Evening, ladies.
You must be Deirdre.
- You're so much cuter
than your pictures.
- Hi.
- Hi, I'm Michelle.
- AC.
So how do you know Deirdre?
- She's my boss.
She said if I didn't come
on this double date
there would be
professional consequences.
- That's bad.
You should tell
the HR department.
- We are the HR department.
[both laugh]
- Ron, can I just say,
you have
such a beautiful smile?
- Thank you.
The state cut our
dental insurance,
so enjoy it while you can.
- [laughs]
- Ow, why are my shoes
killing me?
- Jamie, presents
from your ex-lovers.
- Oh, weird.
I'll open them later.
- Oh, look.
This one's already open.
Wow, it's an Oculus from Holly.
- She got you an Oculus?
- And Sienna got you
floor seats
to the Lakers-Clippers game.
How thoughtful!
Isn't that the last game
you went to
before your grandpa passed?
- [laughs softly]
A Laker girl hugged him,
and Grandpa got a streak
of her boob makeup on his face.
- I've always liked Sienna.
For an Instagram cheerlebrity,
she was really down to earth.
- You know what?
I'm gonna go find Daisy.
- I'll come with you.
- No.
Stay here
and open your presents.
- Aisha.
Wait, are you mad at me?
[dramatic music]
- Hey, our scheme
is working perfectly.
- I should hope so.
We're 40K over budget.
[both laugh]
- Come on.
You're telling me
your favorite band is Train?
They exclusively make music
for car commercials.
- Uh, more like
they exclusively
make number one hits.
- [laughs]
You know,
I was dreading tonight,
but this is actually
really fun.
- You know what? I'm having
a really good time too.
I mean, not as good as them.
- I hope this isn't
too forward,
but I'm falling
in love with you.
- [gasps]
It's not, Ron.
I feel the same way.
[mellow music playing]
- So should we get
another drink?
- Yes, definitely.
[cell phone ringing]
But uhlet me just take this
really quick.
I'll be right back, okay?
- Okay.
- Hey, Jessie, what's up?
- You were right.
The party is out of control.
I've gotten 100 notifications
from my doorbell camera,
and Jamie isn't
picking up his phone.
- Calm down.
It's gonna be okay.
- My neighbors are gonna
call the cops.
They all hate us
'cause my compost bin stinks
and René has a pet rooster.
Slater,
I hate to ask you this,
but can you please get over
there and shut down the party?
- Uh, you need me to do that,
like, right now?
- Uh--oh, my God, wait,
you have your date.
Sorry, never mind, forget it.
- No, no, no, no.
If you need me--
- No, no, no, no,
don't be silly.
I'll ask someone else.
I'll ask Toddman.
- You're gonna throw away
everything we have for him?
Look at him!
- No, it's okay, Jessie.
If you need me, I'll be there.
- Really?
Thank you so much.
- I have a problem?
You have a problem!
- [sighs]
Hey, listen.
I am so sorry,
but something suddenly came up.
My friend had an emergency,
and I gotta go.
Again, I'm so sorry.
- Okay.
[indistinct arguing]
- Ooh, he'll take me soon
He's making room
- Stop doing that.
I hate this.
What is that?
- Who cares?
Tonight, I'm living life
as a verb.
- Hey, you wanna see
something fun?
- Mm-hmm.
- Cool, let me show you.
- What?
- There it is, mm-hmm.
- Ooh!
- "As a verb"?
- You're being, like,
crazy jealous right now.
- Jamie,
I swear to you I'm not.
- Well, you're mad
about something.
What do you want me to do,
throw the presents out?
'Cause I will.
I don't need this,
or a Rolex
or some song that Billie Eilish
wrote for me personally.
- No, throwing them away
is even worse.
- How?
God, you're being impossible.
- Then don't be with me.
- What?
Oh--
- Jamie's on the move.
Cancel steps 3 through 99.
Advance to step 100.
Over.
- Already?
That was fast.
- All you've gotta do now
is go into Jamie's room
and manipulate your best friend
into kissing you.
- Oh, God.
When you say it like that--
- It sounds awesome.
I know.
- [sighs]
Okay.
I'll get into position.
- And I'll get ready to see
Dean Koontz at Costco.
- What? I thought it was
Dane Cook at Morongo.
- Who cares?
Just go.
- Okay.
[slow mellow music]
- Girl, you so beautiful
when you faded, faded
Ooh, I like you better
when you faded
- Looks like you and I
are on the same trip.
- Girl, what are you
so afraid, afraid of?
[upbeat hip-hop music playing]
- Hey, hey, hey, hey!
[crowd cheering]
- You can't relate
You never had as much bread
on your plate
Y'all have my blessings,
thank you, I'm great
Giving 'em reasons
to gossip and hate
Go away,
don't pay attention
You see me moving
in a different dimension
Just look at my mansion
Club boys with patience
- Okay, okay.
Party is over.
Alexa, cut the music.
- No!
- Oh, come on, Coach.
We thought you were cool.
- Yeah.
- I am cool.
But Jamie's mom called and said
I gotta shut this thing down.
- Aw, this sucks, we were in
the middle of a dance battle.
- It doesn't matter,
everybody's gotta go now.
- But we're tied.
Come on, help us out.
Just one dance.
We need you.
- Coach Slater can't dance.
- Uh, yeah, he can.
He's always talking about
what a sick dancer
he was in high school.
- Nice try, guys,
but there is no way
I'm doing more than one dance.
- Yes!
- Alexa, hit it.
- I think you have to say
the name of the song.
[lively instrumental music
playing]
- Guess not.
[music stops]
Yeah!
[cheers and applause]
- Whoo!
- You're the man.
You're the man.
- Aisha was so cool,
and then tonight
she just completely
changed personalities.
It's like Dr. Jekyll and
Mr. Hyde were the same person.
- Did you not finish the book?
- It's a book?
- All right, well,
you just started dating,
and you don't really
know each other.
- Yeah, I mean,
I guess you're right.
- Yeah, like, you and I
have been friends for what?
- As long as I can remember.
- Exactly.
You can't expect someone
you've known for what,
two months,
to understand you like I do.
- Yeah, you do know me
pretty well.
Hey, remember this?
- Oh, my God, our string phone.
We used to sit in our windows
and talk on those all night.
- Remember back when
I was husky?
You used to yell through it
every morning,
"Wake up, lard-ass!
Welcome to another day of hell!
That is, if you haven't already
died of a heart attack."
- Huh.
- Oh, man, good times.
- Yeah, kind of
forgot about that.
- Oh, I didn't.
I mean, why do you think
I worked so hard
to make my body like this?
It's 'cause
I was afraid of you.
- Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.
- No, no, it's fine.
I mean, you're not
like that anymore.
- Eh.
I can still be pretty mean.
- No way.
I mean, you used to hurt people
and, like,
never feel bad about it.
Like, remember that time
that you exposed
Spencer's dad's affair
just to ruin his bar mitzvah?
- Yeah, maybe I have changed.
- You have.
I mean, the old Lexi
wasn't a very happy person,
and sometimes unhappy people
take their feelings out
on the people around them.
But you're--you're happy now.
- How do you know I'm happy?
- Because I know you.
[laughs softly]
[gentle music]
- Damn it.
- What's wrong?
- Look, you're right.
I'm happy and I'm nice now.
[sighs]
- Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba,
Barbara Ann
Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba,
Barbara Ann
Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba,
Barbara Ann
Barbara Ann
Oh, take my hand
Barbara Ann
You got me
rockin' and a rollin'
Rockin' and a reelin'
Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba,
Barbara Ann
You got me
rockin' and a rollin'
Rockin' and a reelin',
Barbara Ann
- Oh, no, it's the cops!
Everybody hide!
[siren wailing]
[suspenseful music]
- Happy birthday, Jamie!
- Oh, thank God I found you
in the first room I checked.
I have to tell you something.
There was a scheme
to break you and Jamie up,
but I heroically stopped it.
I also started it.
It was my scheme.
- What?
- I'm sorry.
I guess I wanted you guys
to break up because
I like Jamie.
- I know.
Daisy told me.
- That bitch is lying.
Sorry, reflex.
Just
Look, I want Jamie to be happy,
and he's happy with you.
I'm the one who got him
all the gifts.
You have no reason
to be jealous.
- [scoffs]
Jealous?
I don't get jealous, honey.
I'm dope.
- God, you're so confident.
- You would be, too,
if you had feet
as big and beautiful as I do.
- Okay, wait,
so if you weren't jealous,
then why were you so upset?
- Because at school,
Jamie and I,
we don't seem
all that different,
but being in this
big, fancy house
watching him open
all those expensive gifts, it--
it made me feel weird.
I mean, I don't have money
to buy him an Oculus.
I didn't even get him anything
for his birthday.
Don't laugh,
but that's why I was in here.
I was trying
to make him a gift.
- Oh, Holy God,
what is that thing?
- It's supposed to be Jamie.
- Huh.
- [sighs]
- Let me give you some advice.
Jamie doesn't need things,
especially not a haunted
painting from hell.
He just needs to know
that you care about him.
He really likes you.
- He does?
- Yeah.
And love across class lines
happens all the time.
My dad was rich,
but my mom was just hot.
- Aren't your parents divorced?
- Yeah, that was never
gonna work.
They're from
two different worlds.
[knocking on door]
- It's the police!
Open up!
- Maybe someone should
go talk to them.
- Yeah, but who?
- Maybe Colt?
[knocking on door]
Coming! One sec.
- Good evening, sir.
We got a noise complaint,
but I didn't know
an adult was home.
- Yeah, sorry, officer.
I guess the party
got a little out of control.
- Oh, I get it.
I have kids too.
Boy, do I hate it
when they throw a party.
Let me help you out.
Young lady, you better
keep the music down
for your dad, okay?
I mean, you may think
it's a lot of fun
carrying on all night now,
but when you get to be
your dad's and my age,
fun is a quiet night at home
with your family
and beloved wife.
- Thank you,
we'll keep it down.
- [hiccups]
[people murmuring]
[upbeat hip-hop music playing]
- You're the man, Coach.
When I grow up
I wanna be just like you:
a single, childless adult
who parties with kids.
- Okay, this party is over.
Everybody out, now!
[crowd groans]
[indistinct chatter]
- Yeah, I'm just
gonna follow her.
- That should be us
kissing Jamie.
We were so close.
Why didn't you
just finish the plan?
- Because you're right.
I have gone soft.
Now making people feel bad
makes me feel bad,
so I couldn't do it,
even if it meant
losing a guy I really like.
- Who, me?
- Jamie.
- Wait, you like Jamie?
- Yeah, dude.
Why else would I concoct
a super expensive plan
to ruin someone's relationship?
Wait.
Why are you doing this?
- Because of the thing I've
been saying the whole time,
that I wanna drink Diet Coke
with Kaley Cuoco or whatever.
- What? I thought it
was Dane Cook at Morongo.
Mac, seriously,
why did you do this?
I mean, there had to be
some deeper reason.
- Because I felt abandoned by
my dear friend what's-his-name.
- Well, you know,
sometimes unhappy people
take out their feelings
on the people around them.
- Excuse me, I'm not unhappy.
There is no emotional void
I'm trying to fill.
- Okay.
- I don't have a void.
Lexi, come back.
What is wrong with me?
Why am I like this?
[cell phone buzzes]
Hello?
Yeah, that's right.
A dozen pizzas sent to
Ronald J. Toddman's house.
[whistles]
- I heard Yasmin gossiping
about how some girl
was so drunk
she made out with a coat.
Can you believe it?
For once, the loser
at the party wasn't me.
- Girl, that sounds like
a successful social rebrand.
- Uh-huh!
What?
That's a cool party sound
I do now.
- Hey.
- Hey, you're home.
- I don't know
how to thank you.
I am so sorry
I ruined your date.
- Don't worry about it.
You know
I've always got your back.
- Oh, it is so good to be home.
Although, this will
never really be my home
because the white man
can't rightfully lay claim
to any land in America.
Oh, hey, Slater.
- Hey, René.
- René surprised me.
He decided to come back early
from his retreat.
- Mm.
- Slater, are you hungry?
René's shaman
gifted him some jerky.
- [whispers] There's not really
enough for everyone.
- No, I'm good.
- Aw, are you sure?
'Cause we got tons.
- Yeah, I think
I'm gonna just go home.
- Wait, what is that outfit?
Is it from high school?
- Yeah, actually, it is.
I've been keeping it
in the trunk of my car,
but I think after tonight
I may officially be done
with high school.
Matter of fact,
I don't think
I need this anymore.
[upbeat music]
- What?
- Why are you
giving this to me?
[cell phone chiming]